


running out of reasons

by PandorasBox014



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempted Sexual Assault, Dissociation, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Goes Beyond The Mainstream Teacher-Student Trope, Goes Beyond University Setting, Healthy Communication, Healthy Relationship Development, Healthy Relationships, Mention of Suicide/Suicidal Behaviour, Mutual Pining, POV Haruno Sakura, POV Hatake Kakashi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating will change, Self-Defence Training, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, a lot of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:28:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 211,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25099912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandorasBox014/pseuds/PandorasBox014
Summary: On the verge of graduation, Sakura wishes for a peaceful semester and her luck to finally kick in. Meanwhile, Kakashi wants nothing more than another uneventful semester doing a job he doesn't care for. They both should've known life never fails in teaching you to be careful what you wish for.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 2046
Kudos: 1071





	1. unbelievable luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rewritten on 15/01/2021

Sakura’s mind felt almost as chaotic as her desk looked as she groaned at her laptop’s screen. The whole ordeal of organizing her semester’s schedule always resulted in her consuming almost as many cups of coffee in one day as she usually did during finals week. Sure enough, her friends always made sure to religiously make fun of her over it every semester but it’s not like Sakura actually gave a shit. Honestly, why the hell leave it to the last minute when you could just get it out of the way as soon as the system allowed you to work on it? 

She swore at her computer as she noticed the wifi icon disappear, rolling her eyes at the sheer predictability of it. Rubbing her fingers over her eyes, Sakura stood up and threw herself on her queen-sized bed, immediately sighing at the feel of the soft comforter underneath her and allowing the scent of the freshly cleaned bedding to do its job and soothe her nerves. There was no need to stress, she was way ahead of the deadline and would have no trouble fixing her schedule. 

Sakura was well aware of the three courses she still needed to complete to get her bachelor’s degree in biochemistry and fulfil the requirements to get into medical school. Normally three courses would be way below the number of classes she’d take on a normal semester, but now that she had her bachelor thesis taking up a significant part of her schedule, she couldn’t help but blame herself for the busy semester ahead.

Her eyes opened again, slowly taking in the empty, white ceiling of her bedroom. She couldn’t help but let out a frustrated groan as her mind wandered in that direction. For the past three and a half years as a biochemistry major, Sakura did her very best to take on all the courses that would ensure her prerequisites to be accepted into medical school. It had nearly all been smooth sailing for Sakura, with no grades below a 92 she got in physics back in her first semester—she couldn’t help it, physics just wasn’t her thing. The only exception came to the macroscopic anatomy course, the source of all her current frustrations. 

She could—more like _should_ —have chosen to take it on her third semester, but instead decided to hold off just in case there was a change in faculty. Sakura had always known it was probably not her place to act as entitled as she did in that particular case, but she did value her education above most things and, in her honest opinion, whether the professor responsible for a course was competent or not was a _huge_ fucking deal. She had no doubts she could teach herself anything on her own if ever needed—hell, she’d done it before—but Sakura just didn’t see the point of being in university if she wouldn’t be learning _from_ it. 

So, after conducting her usual research on faculty—which she did every semester—Sakura saw absolutely no issue with the decision of not taking Professor Hatake’s class after seeing multiple negative reviews on the man. Most had been complaints on his personality—huge asshole, apparently—and tendency to sometimes make students cry, but most were about how ‘impossible’ it was to keep up with and pass his class. Apparently, the highest grade anyone had ever gotten under his scrutiny in the six years he’d been teaching at Konoha University was 71, which was just ridiculous, and it was common for students to retake the class more than twice before being able to pass. 

Sakura had no issues with this ‘impossible’ part, though. She knew damn well that even if most students couldn’t keep up with it in case it was hard enough she’d have no trouble with that. It was just that after seeing evidence of how he treated his students, she was pretty sure Professor Hatake made it difficult for his students to pass just for the sake of it and that was just really fucking immature in Sakura’s opinion.

So, she’d never taken macroscopic anatomy. And now, to top it all off, that damned course would take away valuable time she needed to work on her thesis. All Sakura knew is that she’d be really fucking pissed if she’d put off taking his class for nothing. At this time, she knew she’d have to take whatever they gave her because otherwise she just wouldn’t graduate on time and _that_ wasn’t an option, so all she could do was hope karma would pay off and make it so a change in faculty would finally happen.

Sakura bolted upwards, sitting cross-legged on her bed as her phone started to vibrate from her desk. She brought herself up to her feet and quickly snatched the buzzing phone up, swiping her finger on the screen to the right.

“What, Pig?” Sakura sighed, earning a scoff from Ino on the other end.

“ _Good morning to you too, Forehead._ ”

“Sorry.” Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. “Wifi’s off, I’m stressed.”

“ _Yeah, whatever._ ” If Sakura closed her eyes she could perfectly picture her friend waving her hand dismissively at nothing, already moving on. “ _You’re coming over on Friday, right? Just wanna remind you since I know how weird you get the week before uni starts._ ”

“I don’t get _weird,_ ” she mumbled.

“ _You’re right, sorry. I didn’t actually mean weird. I meant the stick that’s usually up your ass just gets way more stuck there during this period._ ”

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh and decided to ignore her friend, wandering over to her bedroom window. The sky was a cotton white, promising some snowfall in the near future, and the street was completely empty as everyone enjoyed the cosiness and warmth of their own apartments. 

“Sure, I’ll be there on Friday. Thanks again for not doing it on Thursday.”

“ _As if I’d ever say no to two days of partying_ ,” Ino scoffed. “ _Besides, I like the vibe of a first of January party... Everything’s closed for the holiday so there’ll be nowhere else to party at besides my place, which will be awesome._ ”

“You do know everyone will be hungover from the _actual_ New Year’s, right?”

“ _And what’s the best way to cure a hangover? Getting drunk again. I’ve taught you this a billion times, Forehead, please try to keep up._ ” 

Sakura smiled as she walked back to her desk and leaned over it, refreshing her computer screen hoping for a change in the Internet status. Still out.

“ _It sucks that you’ll be working on Thursday, though,_ ” Ino said. “ _I mean, New Year’s at the Rusty Kunai is always awesome but it’s really annoying to have to go to the counter to talk to you._ ”

“Well, staying behind the counter _is_ my job,” Sakura argued as she straightened back up.

“ _Can’t you get out of it? And_ actually _get drunk with us?_ ”

“New Year’s tips are way too good, there’s no way I’m passing that up.” Sakura shook her head as if Ino could see it. “I’ll be with you guys at the countdown, though, it’ll be fine.”

“ _You weren’t last year,_ ” Ino reminded her.

“Well, that’s because that guy cut his forehead when he fell and _someone_ had to do first aid. I couldn’t just leave him bleeding so I could countdown the New Year’s.”

“ _Ugh, you’re_ such _a doctor._ ” Sakura could _hear_ Ino rolling her eyes.

“Not yet.” She smiled.

“ _What I mean is, he was super fucking drunk! You could have totally left him there for a minute and he wouldn’t even have realised it._ ”

Sakura had been just about to argue that no, _of course_ she couldn’t do that, when her eyes caught the web page recharging on its own. She leaned into her desk again and smiled when she realised the wifi was back.

“Ok, we can do a mock New Year’s at your party since Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke won’t be at the bar either, how does that sound?” she offered and quickly changed the subject before Ino could engage her again. “Ino, I gotta go. I’m fixing my schedule.”

“ _Ohhh_ ,” Sakura could hear the grin on the blonde’s face. “ _Of course you’re doing that shit now. So, what’s the verdict on Professor Hatake this semester?_ ”

“I’m still counting on my luck,” she mumbled as she pulled back her chair and sat down, balancing the phone between her left shoulder and ear as she gripped the desk’s edge with both hands and rolled herself closer to it. “You _could_ get started on yours early, you know, for once in your life.”

Ino scoffed on the other end. 

“ _Please, there’s four days left. I’m not clinically insane._ ”

“Says the psych student.” Sakura rolled her eyes. “Ok, Pig, gotta go.”

“ _Wait!_ ” Ino screamed as Sakura started to pull her phone away from her face. “ _I wanna hear if you’re getting him or not._ ”

It was physically impossible for Sakura to stop the eye roll that followed her friend’s request. Her silent war against Professor Hatake had become a common laughing topic within her group of friends for the past few years, for some goddamn reason. It’d even got to the point that they dared say she was scared of the man, which never failed to make Sakura’s blood boil in her veins. _As if_.

Still, she put her phone on speaker before laying it next to her laptop and bit back any nasty remarks against Ino. 

“ _Have you ever seen the guy?_ ” Ino asked as they waited for the screen to load.

“Nope,” Sakura answered. “No idea what he looks like.”

“ _Imagine if he’s hot. He_ sounds _hot._ ”

“He does _not_ sound hot, Pig.”

“ _Uh, yeah, he does. Asshole professor with unachievable standards? Sign me the fuck up._ ”

Sakura snorted in response but stopped herself from actually answering how ridiculous that sounded like when the screen loaded up and her eyes drifted straight to the macroscopic anatomy course, eager to get the suspense over with.

“Holy shit,” Sakura whispered.

“ _What?_ ” Ino pressed.

“Holy shit!” Sakura repeated, louder. Her eyes were wide as she read the name on the screen over and over again. _Professor Yamato_. “It’s not him!”

“ _You’re fucking kidding me,_ ” Ino's voice was incredulous.

Sakura burst in laughter, unable to believe karma had actually done its job for once. All of the waiting had paid off in the end and she would never stop rubbing it in her friend’s faces.

“I should have bet on this, I’d be ripping you guys off!” Sakura laughed.

“ _Please_ ,” Ino scoffed. “ _This was just luck, if we’d bet on it you can be sure it wouldn’t have happened. Who is it anyway? The new professor._ ”

“It’s Professor Yamato.” Sakura smiled as she read his name again. “He taught me biology in my first semester, he’s really good.”

“ _Don’t know why I asked,_ ” Ino said. “ _Just realised I don’t actually care._ ”

Sakura laughed at this, not even slightly surprised at her friend’s candour. Ino might have been right when she said it was just luck, but Sakura decided to see this as a sign of how her last semester in university would go—smoothly, with no surprises, with no anxiety. In five short months, she would be defending her thesis and then climbing a stage to grab her well-earned diploma with no further obstacles on her way to medical school. 

Yeah, Sakura could definitely live with that.

“Ok, Pig, now you know. Go ahead and send the news in the group chat, I’m sure you’re dying to.”

“ _Nah_ ,” Ino said, but Sakura could hear the smile on her voice. “ _It’d be much more interesting if you hadn’t managed to get away from him. But ok, yeah, I’ll let the word out and you go finish that schedule._ "

Sakura opened her mouth to say her goodbyes when Ino spoke up again.

_“Ah! Forgot something. I’m pretty sure Shika will find a way to avoid my party on Friday, can you not let that happen?”_

“Uh—” Sakura hesitated as her mind tried to come up with a smooth way of dodging this. “I’ll do my best.”

The silence that greeted Sakura’s words was more than enough to let her know she’d failed.

“ _You know, I miss the days when_ I _was more important to you than that idiot_ ,” Ino protested. “ _What the hell happened there? I’ve known you longer!_ ”

“Well, _he’s_ not a drama queen, so he’s got that going for him,” Sakura argued as she smiled. “Leave the guy alone, Ino, he hates parties and it’s ok if he doesn’t want to go to both of them. You know that if it was just the eight of us he’d be there.”

“ _Yeah, whatever. You both suck.”_

Sakura snorted at Ino’s pettiness and perfectly pictured the indignant face her blonde friend must have been pulling at that moment.

“Pig, you know I love you from the bottom of my heart but I really gotta go, ok?” Sakura said as she eyed her schedule once again. “I want to buy my books today and I don’t want it to be dark when I go.”

“ _Yeah, yeah, it’s ok._ _See ya Thursday, Forehead._ ”

“Bye, Ino.” Sakura smiled as she pressed the red hangup button and focused on her laptop. 

She went on to work on her schedule then, not willing to waste any more time. Her timetable would be composed of the three courses she still needed to complete in order to graduate as a biochem major and fulfil all the pre-med requisites, altogether with thesis supervision sessions placed strategically throughout the semester. In the third week of lectures, she would have her first private session with her still unknown thesis supervisor, which was really fucking exciting. Sakura had been dying to discuss and put into paper all the great ideas she’d been having ever since she started thinking of her thesis almost two years before then, which was another common laughing topic among her friends—not that she really minded, of course.

Sakura automatically clicked all of the boxes available to her as her phone vibrated again. Sakura glanced at it and saw it was Ino sharing the news on their group chat and decided to see the responses after she was done with her timetable. The satisfying sound of the courses being moved to her schedule sent her into a blissful mood that made her want to dance around her flat, finally done with all the planning for university. That stopped the second her eye settled on the name written below advanced human physiology. 

_Professor Hatake_. 

Sakura froze, her eyes stuck on the six letters that formed his last name for a few seconds until she groaned and dropped her head on her hands. 

“Thank fuck I didn’t bet on this,” she said out loud before looking up again, her eyes stuck on the three-hour long Tuesday and Friday slots his name occupied for the next five months.

Several minutes passed in which Sakura could only stare at her laptop’s screen. She did nothing as her phone blew up with her friend’s reaction to her having been able to escape him and her eyes slid closed as she realised telling them about it now would be a billion times worse. They would fucking _never_ let this go and Sakura was one hundred per cent sure she’d hear about this until she was on her death bed.

So much for good luck.

.

.

.

“I can’t fucking believe this shit.”

It’d been a really long time since Kakashi had been _this_ pissed off, yet there was something about being dragged by his friends to a bar on fucking New Year’s Eve that would do that him. Resentment rolled off of him in waves as his friends joked around as they walked through the sidewalks of Konoha on their way to the Rusty Kunai.

“Stop sulking, old man.” Asuma slapped a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder.

“You’re older than me.”

“Doesn’t _seem_ like it.” He smirked before taking another drag off his cigarette. “Come on, you’re leaving before midnight anyway.”

“If I’d known we would be going there I wouldn’t have come at _all_.”

“And why do you think we didn’t tell you?” Kurenai turned her head to stare at the two of them.

Kakashi didn’t deign that with a response and allowed himself to sulk a little bit more as Asuma stepped away from him and walked ahead to join his wife and Tenzou. Sure, he could see why his friends tricked him into going with them and he couldn’t say he didn’t appreciate it—only barely, though—that they wanted him around _that_ much, but for fuck’s sake, he just didn’t know why they wanted to go to the _Rusty Kunai_ so much.

First of all, it was a bar mainly frequented by _students_. The possibility of running into one of his was honestly more than enough for Kakashi to have never set his foot there in the past seven years since he’d started teaching, but for some forsaken reason his friends kept on going there at least once a year. Sure, they’d spent most of their own students nights there getting shit-faced together but it’s not like they didn’t have their own places now in which they could do that at.

Also, the fucking _noise_. Years may have passed but it still hadn’t been enough for Kakashi to forget how noisy the Rusty Kunai was, _especially_ at New Year’s, and if he hated it at twenty he would certainly hate it at thirty-five. 

“Come on, Kakashi!” Gai’s thunderous voice boomed as he wrapped an arm around Kakashi’s shoulders. “Embrace your youth, my friend! I still think you should be with us for the countdown, New Year’s is all about new beginnings, new opportunities, new spri…”

“Do I really still need to explain this after seven years?” Kakashi cut him off, in absolutely no mood to listen to Gai’s nonsense.

“I do think you use Pakkun as an excuse to stay home whenever you feel like it,” Tenzou stepped in as he looked back at them.

“You’re the one who told me to get him, it’s your own damn fault,” he argued as he expertly manoeuvred himself away from Gai’s grasp.

The rest of the way went by on a similar note, with Kakashi’s mood not necessarily getting any less shitty the closer they got to the Rusty Kunai. If him skipping on the bill wasn’t already the norm he would definitely be doing that then just to bother them. Kakashi glanced at his watch, promising himself he’d only stay for half an hour before he headed home to enjoy a silent and actually enjoyable New Year’s with his dog.

As they turned the next corner and were greeted with the sight of the Rusty Kunai a few meters away, though, Kakashi couldn’t help but groan at the sight of the dozens of students hanging out by the door, most of them smoking and being obnoxiously annoying in a way only students managed to.

“How histerical would it be if we walked in and someone who’d been in Kakashi’s classes started crying?” Asuma asked, his tone conversational enough to make Kakashi roll his eyes at the sheer audacity of it.

“Hm, drinking makes people brave.” Tenzou shook his head. “They’d definitely try to hit him.”

“As if they could!” Gai stepped in, pointing a finger in the direction of the bar.

“Thanks, Gai,” Kakashi said.

“Besides, if anyone tried they’d have to get through _me_ first.” Gai threw his arm over Kakashi’s shoulder once again.

“What if anyone hit on him?” Kurenai suggested before Kakashi could react to what Gai had said. “A lot of girls go for the asshole teacher vibe.”

Kakashi didn’t deign _that_ with a response either and settled for shooting Kurenai a glare as he stepped off the curb to get away from Gai’s hold. The sound of everyone’s laughter as they crossed the street to the bar was almost enough to make Kakashi just keep on walking to his own flat, but for some reason he didn’t. Against every single wish of his own, he dodged the students hanging out by the door and followed his friends inside the fifty-year-old bar.

And he almost turned around and walked back out _immediately_. The inhuman amount of people stuffed inside that place and all the noise they were making was way more than Kakashi was willing to deal with, and the only reason he didn’t leave right then was because Gai started using both hands to push him towards the back of the room, where their friends were already headed.

If anyone shot him dirty looks as he was pushed through the crowd, Kakashi was completely oblivious to them. It’s not like he’d actually give a fuck about it either way but of course he didn’t want any frustrated and drunk students contributing to the absolute disaster that night was shaping out to become. Thankfully, though, it didn’t take too long before they’d reached the corner booth at the far end of the bar, the one they’d always sat on ever since they were students for its convenient closeness to the right end of the bartender counter.

“Did you call ahead and saved this booth or something?” Kakashi asked as his friends spread themselves on the benches, wondering how the hell it’d been left unoccupied this long despite its amazing location.

“Of course we did,” Asuma looked up at him as if he was insane. “You think we wouldn’t take advantage of having students working here as bartenders?”

Kakashi took off his coat as he waited for Gai to position himself on the bench across from Asuma, Kurenai, and Tenzou and then sat down on the edge next to his green-vest wearing friend, thankful he wouldn’t have to deal with any bullshit when he decided to leave.

“ _You_ don’t have any bartender students,” Kurenai poked her husband’s arm. “Only me, Gai, and Tenzou have that privilege.”

“I was under the impression we’d agreed on sharing everything back there at the altar.” Asuma rubbed his beard thoughtfully. “I don’t know, babe, a deal’s a deal.”

“Hmm, I love you too much to be pissed at you calling our marriage a deal.” Kurenai leaned sideways into Asuma and pecked his cheek.

“You never said that student of yours was a bartender,” Tenzou noted at Gai.

Kakashi caught Asuma’s eyes just then and wasn’t disappointed to see the same level of desperate awareness reflected on his friend’s body language. They both knew they were a steep step away from Gai launching into one of his dreadful rampages about _that_ student of his, and both of them knew that disaster should be avoided at all costs.

“Who, _Lee_?” Gai asked. “No, no, not him, not him! It’s another one, Neji! Long hair, pale eyes... I do believe Lee’ll be here, though, I know my favourite student would never miss such a youthful occasion. In fact-”

“Who’s getting the drinks?” Asuma smoothly intervened.

Kakashi couldn’t help but snort, although any ounce of amusement disappeared as soon as Kurenai asked the worst thing she possibly could.

“Who was the last to sit?”

“Kakashi!” Gai pointed his thumb at him.

Kakashi remained impassive as all of his friends turned their heads to stare at him and soon made it very clear he had absolutely no intention of moving from his seat.

“Fine, Tenzou, you go.” Asuma nudged the brown-haired guy with his elbow. 

Tenzou sighed as he fished his wallet from his jeans’ pocket and stood up.

“Next time don’t sit on the edge,” Kakashi said before his friend could turn around and earned a chuckle from him in return.

“I wouldn’t look so happy just yet, I’m gonna need help bringing them over,” Tenzou said over his shoulder as he walked away.

Kakashi immediately looked over at Asuma, who met his gaze head-on without flinching. Every single person sitting at that table knew that when it came to battle of wills, no one could win against Kakashi. That didn’t mean they didn’t try, though, especially when Kakashi was being exceptionally obnoxious like he was being just then.

Leaning back so he could slouch on his place at the bench, Kakashi turned his head to the side so he could check out the rest of the bar. As expected, the vast majority of clients looked young enough to be students. It had been almost 10 pm by the time they’d walked in and Kakashi could see the crowd was not even nearly as rowdy as they were bound to become in the next few hours, which was saying _a lot_. 

He scanned the crowd for a few more seconds before quickly losing interest. There were only so many drunk students he could see before they all turned into pretty much the same thing. Kakashi let his eyes wander from the crowd to the bartender area, taking in the familiar sight of that mahogany counter just in front of the impressive stand of alcohol bottles which lined the wall from one side to the other. His ears were busy absently picking up on the conversation his friends had started on the table—something about resolutions and that particular kind of bullshit only Gai could actually still believe in—when a flash of pink caught his attention.

Kakashi felt his own eyebrow rising in his forehead at the sight of the bartender with the most unbelievable pink hair he had ever seen talking to Tenzou. For a second there he wondered how the fuck was it possible for someone to be born with that hair, but then again his own was silver from birth so he didn’t really have the right to say much about it. 

All Kakashi knew was that he was still staring at her by the time Tenzou turned to glance at their booth, clearly asking for the help in bringing in the pints. At that very same moment, the desperate cry ‘ _Gai-sensei_!’ came from the crowd and served as more than enough incentive for Kakashi to volunteer to help Tenzou out. He managed to smoothly slide out of the booth right before Gai nearly jumped out of it, immediately turning in the direction of the crowd to look for his esteemed student as he jogged over to join him. Kakashi nodded at the kid when their eyes met and shot an eye-creasing smile at Asuma and Kurenai before walking up to the counter.

The pink-haired woman had walked away from Tenzou by then, as she was clearly busy keeping up with the mayhem of New Year’s at the Rusty Kunai. Finally reaching the counter made it impossible for Kakashi to _not_ glance at her as she stood on her tiptoes to reach a bottle of bourbon on the shelf, her black tank top riding up a few inches and showing off the ivory skin of her hips.

“Holy shit, what did Asuma have on you?”

Kakashi turned his attention to Tenzou as his friend stared at him as if he’d just grown three separate heads.

“You think Asuma has anything good enough he could ever blackmail me with?” He raised an eyebrow as he rested his right elbow on the mahogany counter and leaned sideways against it.

“Why the fuck else would yo—” Tenzou immediately stopped talking as he caught sight of Lee and Gai after Kakashi motioned with his head in the direction of the booth. “Oh, no.”

Kakashi hummed in response, using his left hand to pick up a pint glass and brought it up to his lips.

“That guy Asuma likes is also here,” Tenzou remarked as he watched their booth. Kakashi turned his head just in time to catch his friend pulling a dude with a ponytail into a hug right next to Gai and Lee as the dynamic duo cried together over something Kakashi hoped he would never find out. “Fuck’s sake. How much longer do you think we can hang back here for?”

“You’re honestly asking _me_?” Kakashi arched an eyebrow at his friend.

“You’re right, don’t know what I was thinking,” Tenzou chuckled as he shook his head. “Come on, let’s go.”

“I bet you wish you had Pakkun as an excuse to leave right about now,” Kakashi remarked as he turned once again to the counter.

He responded to Tenzou’s sigh with a smirk of his own and used his left hand, the one currently not holding his own pint, to grab the handles of the two glasses Tenzou hadn’t grabbed before following him back to their booth. One of Kakashi’s feet smoothly stepped on the heel of Tenzou’s left shoe, earning an indignant glare from the guy as he stopped walking to fix it. Kakashi smirked as he took the lead, easily reaching Asuma and Kurenai—and the ponytail dude who Kakashi just _couldn’t_ remember the name—and leaving Tenzou to deal with Gai and his miniature clone. 

“There you go,” Kakashi announced as he approached the trio and acknowledged Asuma’s student with a nod.

“Ahh, cheers, Bakashi.” Asuma clapped him on the back after grabbing the two pints from Kakashi’s hand and handing one to his wife. 

“I expect tips for the delivery service,” he said before taking a sip of his own drink.

“I really wish I was as shameless as you are.” Kurenai shook her head at him as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“Never too late to start.” Kakashi stuffed his now free hand into the pocket of his jeans. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Asuma opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Gai’s panicked voice.

“LEE! Did you _drink_?!”

They all turned their heads to stare at the other fraction of their group, where Tenzou incredulously watched while Gai stared at Rock Lee’s loose smirk and droopy eyes. Kakashi knew for a fact the kid looked absolutely normal when Tenzou and him been watching them from the counter less than two minutes before, so for him to look completely wasted out of nowhere was incredibly weird.

“Just a _~hic~_ a _beer_ . Or two. _Three_ , fine,” he giggled but was interrupted by another hiccup. “Tenten wanted an excuse to talk to Ne~ _hic_ ~ji at the~ _hic_ ~,” he finished his explanation by indicating the general direction of the bartender counter with his hand.

“Holy shit,” Asuma said under his breath.

“ _Lee_!” Gai used both hands to grab his own hair. “Yosh! We can handle this, Lee, let’s go! Come with me!”

They all watched as Gai led a swaying Lee to the bartender counter, where he desperately waved his arms to catch any of the bartenders’ attention. It was the pink-haired one that approached them first, and Kakashi couldn’t help but snort at how she immediately did a double-take when her eyes went from one to the other.

“And you were telling me they’re _not_ related,” noted the ponytail guy.

Kakashi took the chance to turn his attention back to his friends just in time to catch Asuma laying a hand on the guy’s shoulder.

“Sometimes we wonder, we really do. Anyway, want a beer? On me.”

“Sure.” The guy shrugged right before following Asuma to the counter.

Kakashi took the chance to sit back down just then, well aware he’d be needing to stand up again when Gai came back so that he could still keep his seat by the edge of the bench. Kurenai and Tenzou started moving around so that they could settle on their own bench while Kakashi checked his watch once again.

“How long until you abandon us?” Kurenai asked.

“Two more beers.” Kakashi raised his head to stare at his friend right before grabbing his pint glass with one hand. “Or thirty minutes. Whatever comes first.”

Kurenai rolled her eyes and turned her head to stare at Tenzou.

“Which of the bartenders is your student?”

Tenzou hummed a weird, noncommittal noise since Kurenai caught him unaware right when he was taking a sip of his drink.

“The girl,” he said as soon as he swallowed.

“Ah, ok.” Kurenai nodded. “So the guy with long hair is Gai’s, right? He looks _so_ much like Hinata, I’m pretty sure they’re related.”

Kakashi glanced in the direction of the counter but couldn’t really see much of it by then because of the considerable amount of people lining up for drinks. The only part he _could_ see was the end of the counter closest to their booth, where Tenzou’s student had her eyebrows slightly drawn together in concentration as she worked on someone’s cocktail.

“You can ask him when he’s back,” Tenzou suggested, bringing Kakashi’s attention back to their booth. “So the one with short hair is yours?”

“Yeah, Inuzuka Kiba. I’m pretty sure he’d just fall dead on the floor if I approached him, though,” she chuckled. “ _Don’t_ tell Asuma.”

“Why not?” Tenzou chuckled.

“ _Because_ he happens to be under the impression that all my students think I’m cool.”

The sheer ridiculousness of those words made Kakashi snort, which earned him an ugly glare in return from the crimson-eyed woman.

“The day you’re married to the coolest professor on campus you tell me how it feels, _ok_ , Kakashi?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know when that happens.”

“But your students _love_ you,” Tenzou argued, turning his body slightly so he could face Kurenai. “You’re always talking about that Hinata girl and how you have tea together sometimes. _I_ don’t have that with any student.”

“Ah, Hinata’s the best.” Kurenai smiled fondly. “But still, it-”

The sound of wood breaking and a loud yell interrupted her—and also the entire bar as a stunned silence took hold of every single person inside the room—and they all looked at the general direction the noise had come from, Tenzou and Kurenai nearly falling out of the booth to do so while Kakashi only had to turn his head slightly to the left. And that was when they saw a desperate Gai pulling Rock Lee away from where a red-haired guy was standing up from the floor right next to a smashed chair.

“Lee! _No_! I know fighting makes us feel youthful sometimes but not like _this_!” Gai said as he held Lee’s arms back. “ _Neji_! I’ll be paying for the chair, don’t worry, I apologise on Lee’s behalf!”

All Kakashi could do was incredulously watch as Gai dragged the clearly wasted kid away to the direction of the door. 

“ _That_ just made up for the whole year,” Kakashi remarked as the two bowl-cuts disappeared through the crowd.

It didn’t take long for Asuma to head back to their booth, settling down next to his wife right across from Kakashi after the ponytail dude ditched him to help the pink-haired bartender get rid of the broken chair. The next thirty minutes went by on a similar note, with Kakashi consuming not two but three more pints—all of them paid for by his friends, of course—before he glanced as his watch once again and realised it was definitely time to go home to his buddy.

“Where the fuck _is_ Gai?” Asuma asked as he came back from one of his cigarette breaks. “I thought he’d be outside taking care of the kid but he’s gone.”

“He texted us saying he’d bring Lee home ‘before it got worse’.” Kurenai used her fingers to shape quotation marks in such an ominous way it made Kakashi chuckle. “He said he should be back soon, though, since it shouldn’t be long for the kid to pass out.”

“ _Three beers_.” Tenzou shook his head as he nursed his own drink. “No one passes out from three beers.”

“No one breaks chairs on people from three beers either but here we are.”

Kakashi downed the rest of his pint in one go and grabbed his coat from where it lay bundled on the seat underneath his ass.

“That’s my cue, you guys.” He stood up and put on his coat.

“Oh, come _on_ , Kakashi!” Tenzou groaned. “It’s only eleven fifteen, you live fifteen minutes away from here.”

“ _And_ I need thirty minutes to get Pakkun ready for New Year’s. Putting clothes on him is a whole process.”

The only response he got in return for that was a stunned silence coming from his friends, who all looked up at him from their seats in degreeing amounts of incredulity.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Kurenai said.

“Why would I joke about that?” Kakashi stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“You _need_ a girlfriend.” Tenzou shook his head. “This can’t go on any longer.”

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed. “I’d never settle for anyone who treats him any less than he deserves, though.”

Once again his response was met with degreeing levels of exasperation from his friends, who went from chuckling at him—Asuma—all the way to just dropping his forehead to rest against the table of their booth—Tenzou. The middle ground, fairly represented by Kurenai, consisted of her just shaking her head at him.

“That’s it, I’ve changed my New Year's resolutions,” she announced.

Kakashi had a pretty good idea where this was going and he’d gone through similar conversations enough times to know he was in absolutely no mood to stand one of them now.

“Sounds fascinating, fax them to me later! Could be a letter too, it’s completely up to you.” He started to take a step back from the booth and chuckled when Kurenai flipped him off.

“See you next year, Bakashi.” Asuma gave him a lazy salute. “Have fun with your pug.”

He responded to Kurenai and Tenzou’s happy new year wishes with a salute of his own and was finally free to head home. The last thing he spotted before he turned around to leave the bar was a flash of pink from behind the bartender counter.

.

.

.

“What a fucking drag.”

Sakura snorted at Shikamaru’s blatant enthusiasm as they stood in front of Ino’s flat, waiting to be let in. She could hear the faint music coming from inside her friend’s apartment and she couldn't help but wonder how the hell her neighbours put up with all of Ino’s parties so easily. It was only a matter of time before the guests really started to arrive and the music was only bound to get louder by then.

“You guys!” The door flew open and Sakura raised her eyes to stare at a beaming Naruto. “Fucking _finally_. What took you so long?”

“Shika couldn’t settle on an earring.” Sakura pointed the index finger of her free hand at her friend’s pierced ear while she cradled a bottle of white wine with her other one.

“Ha, I would’ve bet on the opposite here,” Naruto smirked, crossing his arms as he stared at his two friends. “I didn’t know you had other earrings, Shikamaru, I’ve only seen you with that one.”

“Oh, they’re all identical,” Sakura carried on with her joke, earning a glare from her best friend that she promptly ignored. “Makes you wonder why he takes so long to pick one.”

Naruto opened his mouth to retort but was interrupted before a single sound could leave his mouth.

“For fuck’s sake, let us in,” Shika drawled before Sakura could answer to that. “I need to piss.”

Sakura couldn’t help but giggle as Naruto stepped away from the door with a wary look on his face. She followed Shika into the apartment and took a few seconds to take in the view of the few people she didn’t know scattered around the living room, not a single one without a drink in their hands, while Shikamaru strode straight to take care of his business.

“What’s wrong with him?” Naruto asked as Sakura closed the door shut behind her. 

“Ino blackmailed him to come and he’s pretty pissed about it.”

“Ohh, _Sakura-chaaaan_ , what does she have on him?”

“Why do you think I know it?” Sakura grinned.

“Uh, I don’t know.” Naruto used a hand to brush the back of his hair before he shrugged. “You guys are really close and shit. Do you? Know?”

“My lips are sealed, Naruto, sorry.” Sakura used her free hand to mimic the act of locking her own mouth and throwing the key away, earning a pout from the blond. She refrained from saying Ino would most likely be telling everyone about it in the next few minutes, though, although she really did believe that was true. “Are we the last ones here?”

“Yup, pretty much. Hinata and I arrived not long ago. Not that we… came together or anything.”

Sakura’s eyebrow raised and she gave him a knowing smile, which widened into a grin as Naruto violently blushed. 

“Where’s everyone?” She turned to stare again at the apartment, giving her friend a second to recompose himself.

“Kitchen!” He ran past her and made his way to the open door directly to her left, knowing she would be close behind him. “We’re getting creative with the drinks.”

Bright lights greeted the pair of them as they stepped into Ino’s kitchen. Just like the rest of the entire apartment, the room was ridiculously well-decorated for what anyone would expect of a twenty-two year old’s place. But that was Yamanaka Ino for you, owner of the most glamorous white marble countertops in the city of Konoha. Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she caught sight of her friends huddled together around the kitchen island, the insane number of alcohol bottles spread on it more than enough to make her smile turn into laughter.

“Ha!” Tenten jumped out of her chair and pointed at Sakura as Naruto walked back to where he’d been standing between Hinata and Sasuke by the island. “What the fuck, Sakura? As the official bartender you’re not allowed to be late.”

“I’m _not_ late,” Sakura remarked as she put her wine inside Ino’s refrigerator.

“The clock says otherwise,” Sai called from his place.

“The clock is _wrong_.” Sakura turned around and crossed her arms at him.

“I highly doubt that, Ugly.”

Sai was saved from Sakura’s wrath when Shika walked in the room, definitely sulking as much—if not harder—as he’d been on the way there and distracting everyone with it. He grunted a general greeting at everyone as he walked over to the only free stool left around the island and somehow managed to sprawl himself onto it even though the low backrest provided minimal safety to do so.

“I hope you stop sulking when she gets here,” Ino scolded him as everyone else watched. “She thinks you’re an idiot enough as it is.”

 _Ah, there we go_ , Sakura thought. The second Shika had told her Ino was starting to pick up on the Temari situation Sakura had known it was only a matter of time before she let it out for the whole world to head, not that Shika actually needed to be told that. He had also been really fucking aware of it.

“Who? _Who_ thinks he’s an idiot?” Naruto desperately urged as he leaned forward onto the marble counter. “Enough with the secrets!”

“The exchange student from Suna who took Gender & Leadership with me last semester.” Ino pushed her ponytail so that it’d leave its previous spot showering down her shoulder to hang down her back.

“Wait, is it _Temari_?” Tenten gasped. “She’s fucking amazing, we go to the same boxing gym together!”

“Ha. So Shikamaru _does_ have a thing for badass women who can kick his ass.” Ino smirked. “I fucking knew it.”

If looks could kill, Sakura was one hundred per cent sure Ino would’ve dropped dead on the spot from the glare Shika shot her.

“Oh!” Ino jumped up, completely unfazed by the hateful glare being shot her way. “You guys know that guy Rock Lee hit with a chair last night? He’s one of Temari’s brothers, the two of them apparently came here for a one-semester exchange and one of them is _really_ hot.”

“For fuck’s sake, is half the Suna population moving here?” Sasuke groaned as he picked up his drink.

Sakura judged this to be the best possible time to make her way to Ino’s room and quietly left the kitchen while her friends carried on discussing the Suna siblings. She gave polite smiles to the few strangers sprawled around Ino’s living room, a few of them busy rolling a joint around her coffee table. Ino’s bedroom was empty, though, and it took Sakura less than a minute to take her coat off and throw it on top of Ino’s large bed where all of her friend’s coats were already stashed—including Shika’s, she noticed. 

As she turned around to leave she made sure to take a quick look at herself in the dresser’s mirror, using the light originating from the hallway to check her own reflection. She had opted to wear dark, skinny jeans with a warm cashmere interior which was great for winter and a light pink turtleneck sweater that nearly matched her hair colour and she was glad to see the light snow outside hadn’t smudged her mascara.

Popping one mentos into her mouth which she promptly stole from Ino’s dresser, Sakura closed the door behind her and made her way back to the kitchen.

“Okay, what are you guys up to?” she asked as she took a place around the island, standing between Shika and Sai.

“Hi, Sakura,” Hinata said politely from across the granite countertop. 

Sakura gave her friend a warm smile in return and giggled at the dark-haired girl’s flushed cheeks. Leave it to Hinata to be polite even when tipsy.

“We’re trying to figure out what to make,” Tenten announced, her arms opened wide. “This is what we have.”

Sakura took in the sight of the multiple bottles spread on the island. Tequila, four different vodka brands, rum, a Jägermeister that made Sakura’s stomach feel weird just by looking at it, and bourbon were scattered across the granite countertop and, judging from her friends’ stares, they were all waiting for her to get to work and work her magic. The next twenty minutes consisted of unlimited fun as Sakura helped fix her friends with various drinks. Most of them she was used to preparing back at the bar but a few she just came up with on the spot and used her friends as test subjects. 

Sakura had been working at the Rusty Kunai for nearly a year, to the surprise of her friends and, honestly, herself. It did pay significantly better than the job she’d had at the campus’ bookstore since her freshman year, and the multiple tips she got from drunk guys who were mesmerized by her pink hair didn’t hurt either.

The noise got significantly louder around Sakura as more people arrived and the music’s volume was turned up. Ino kept disappearing from time to time, always perfectly playing her role as hostess, but Sakura was more than content having fun with her friends in the kitchen. Soon enough she threw the mentos in the trash and took out her bottle of wine from the refrigerator after grabbing one of Ino’s glasses and pouring herself a pretty generous amount.

“A year working as a bartender and you still can’t handle strong liquor,” Sasuke said, his voice even as he raised his glass of bourbon up to his lips.

“I get drunk enough on wine, thank you very much.” Sakura put the bottle back on the fridge after using the cork to close it again. 

“I believe that’s what he meant by ‘you can’t handle anything stronger’,” Sai remarked.

It took an enormous amount of effort for Sakura not to roll her eyes. 

“Yes, Sai, I did get that.”

Naruto opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Ino’s voice coming from the kitchen’s entrance. The blonde made her way to them, her short purple dress and black fishnets attracting the stares of a group of frat guys standing by the door. 

“Guys, let’s take this moment to mourn our five-semester long laughing stock which was Sakura’s disastrous and ridiculous attempts to run away from a mean professor.” Ino filled herself a shot of tequila and raised it high.

Sakura rolled her eyes and looked down to study her wine as her friends entered the subject and started commenting on her ‘unbelievable’ luck. After finishing up her schedule she’d ended up forgetting to tell her friends—who weren’t Shikamaru—about how she’d actually gotten Professor Hatake for advanced human physiology, for the simple reason that Sakura just really didn’t want to hear that man’s name anymore, especially when thrown together with the ridiculousness of her friends’ claiming she avoided taking his classes out of fear.

“Why is Sakura’s face doing that?” She heard Sai’s voice and looked up from her glass to stare at them.

It wasn’t surprising to find all of her friends staring at her in absolute silence after she’d been caught glaring at her wine just like Shika had been glaring at Ino earlier that night. As if on cue, Sakura caught sight of Shikamaru's sharp eyebrow raising as he dared her to tell them what he already knew.

“Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Fuck this.” She swallowed the rest of the wine inside her glass in one gulp and made her way to refill it. She was silent as she closed the refrigerator door and walked back to her friends, who were patiently waiting while exchanging wary glances between themselves. “I don’t want to hear any more bullshit, ok? He’s out of macroscopic anatomy but I got him for advanced human physiology.”

For a few seconds, the only sound in the kitchen was the loud music from the party. Sakura took another large gulp of her wine, welcoming the warm sensation on her stomach which soothed her infuriating frustrations. Ino was the first one to burst in hysterical laughter, throwing her head backwards as she absolutely lost her shit. Sakura rolled her eyes as soon enough all of her friends reacted similarly to the news, with Naruto even crouching down and resting his forehead on the island’s edge as he lost himself in his laughter. She watched in silence as Tenten wiped away tears, and Hinata tried hard to cover her giggles behind her hand as politely as she could. Sai had a weird smile on his face, but Sakura still knew he was deeply amused. Even Sasuke had a smirk plastered on his lips. Shikamaru was busy taking a sip of his drink, well aware of how much this subject infuriated Sakura and knowing he’d be the one to hear her bitch about their friends later. 

“What did I say about the bullshit?” she asked. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Dude, I _cannot_ believe it.” Tenten managed to speak between her fits of laughter, the tears still stopped coming out of her eyes. “I give it one month before he makes you cry.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Sakura rolled her eyes, still nursing her wine. “I’d like to see him try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!
> 
> sooo this is my first ever fanfiction. I'm super fucking nervous at making stuff I write public, but at the same time, I'm also pretty fucking excited. just crossing my fingers hoping this doesn't go terribly wrong.
> 
> this is gonna be a preeeetty slow burn. I decided to venture myself into kakasaku bc god knows how much I love this ship and god knows how much I LOVE it in university setting.
> 
> overall I just really hope you enjoy what I have to offer, and that you have as much fun reading this as I have writing it :)  
> -A


	2. reputation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021

Tuesday morning came through and brought with it Sakura’s own personal hell with the watch on her wrist reading 8:40 in the morning and telling her she had _exactly_ twenty minutes to sit her ass down in Professor Hatake’s classroom. At the moment, though, she found herself trying to find her apartment keys, which of course weren’t where they were meant to be. 

Sakura groaned as she spotted the Konoha University keychain peeking from under her couch. Diving down to grab it, Sakura knocked her head against the coffee table next to the sofa and cursed it to the depths of hell. After checking her black leather messenger bag for her wallet and cell phone, she threw open her apartment’s door and locked it in record time, nearly flying down the stairs of her apartment building.

It fucking _killed_ Sakura how it’d been sheer irresponsibility that got her late on that morning. Sure enough, she knew it was ok to get used to sleeping really late while on vacation and she hadn’t had that issue the day before since her only Monday class started at 1 pm. For the first time in Sakura’s life she hadn’t prepared ahead on syncing her sleeping schedule before classes started and she’d only managed to drift into sleep at six in the morning, one miserable hour before she was supposed to wake up. She did blame her shifts at the Rusty Kunai for getting her used to sleeping so fucking late but still, Sakura should have known better and just skipped on sleeping altogether. Instead, she allowed herself to take that quick, well-deserving nap. 

As a result of her poor decision-making skills, Sakura bolted awake at 8:25 am, kicking off the most chaotic fifteen minutes she’d ever had in the past twenty-one years of her life. 

The weather outside was unforgivingly cold, the wind making Sakura shiver and rearrange the wrap of her red scarf in a way that better protected her neck. Even though she had absolutely no time for it, she would give her life for a steaming cup of coffee at that moment.

Checking her watch, Sakura realised she had eighteen minutes to make it on time. Normally it would take her twenty minutes walking from her apartment to campus but the annoying scenario of having to figure out where her classroom was and the usual first day of classes scenarios made Sakura run as if death itself was trying to catch up with her. Sakura bolted past all the familiar stores that lined the path between her house and the university and, halfway through her run, she was almost as awake as she would have been if she had actually managed to eat or drink something before leaving her house. 

In the end, Sakura managed to make it to campus in twelve minutes, which made her grin with pride. As she slowed down on her way to the Sciences building, Sakura caught sight of the open coffee stand on her path and, after checking her watch again, she figured she could still make it on time even if she stopped to grab a quick coffee.

And of course, Sakura fucked up. As soon as she walked up to the counter and was greeted by Rock Lee, one of Tenten’s closest friends, she knew she’d made a terrible, _terrible_ mistake.

“Sa-sakura-san!” he stammered as his cheeks burned a deep red. Sakura had been just about to reply when he suddenly bowed forward. “I deeply apologise for my errant behaviour on Friday!”

“It’s no worry, Lee, really!” Sakura waved her hands desperately at him, eager for him to just straighten back up. “People get really excited at New Year’s, it’s ok!”

“It is not!” he argued as he remained bowing. “I hope there is something I can do to apologise.”

“If you hand me a coffee in less than three minutes we’re more than even,” she said as she checked her watch just to see it was 8:54.

“Of course, Sakura-san!” Lee straightened up again and shot her a thumbs up. “I will not fail you!”

Sakura watched in awe as he got to work, his impressive speed making her eyebrows rise on her forehead. Still, it wasn’t enough for Sakura to keep herself calm. She had been throwing the Sciences building a nervous glance when she heard a weird jamming noise and turned just in time to realise the coffee machine had tilted halfway through her order and he’d need to start all over again. Sakura tried to tell Lee it didn’t matter anymore and that she needed to go, but the sight of his wide eyes desperate to make it up to her as he begged her to wait just a few more minutes was enough to make it impossible for her to leave.

Also, the free bagel he gave her wasn’t so bad either.

By the time Lee started yapping something about how good and life-changing this coffee would be for her, Sakura once again checked and saw she was then officially three minutes late to her advanced human physiology class with Professor Hatake. Just then she realised it was a good thing she’d decided to wait for the coffee since she was pretty sure if she didn’t drink any, she wouldn’t be able to focus at all thanks to her limited hours of sleep the night before.

Also, what if she _fell asleep_?

As Sakura argued with herself about whether arriving late to his class or falling asleep midway through it would have the direst consequences, she decided that being late was preferable. At least she could easily come up with an excuse for it. Besides, it’s not like being late _once_ to his class wouldn’t be enough reason for the guy to hate her for the entire semester, right? 

It took four more minutes for Lee to hand her a disposable cup with a promise of good coffee inside. By then, Sakura had already eaten her entire bagel and was extremely thankful for having been able to put something in her stomach. 

At least thirty more seconds were wasted as Sakura tried to hand Lee money, which he vehemently refused with almost enough desperation to make Sakura feel bad for even offering him money in the first place. She thanked him as she put the money back on her bag and got ready to run straight to class.

“Wait! I want to know if you like it!” Lee nearly yelled to stop her from walking away.

Sakura shot him a dumbfounded look. She blamed her lack of judgement and the lack of sleep, but for some reason she stayed rooted to her spot and took a sip of the coffee. It tasted extremely good, even though it was only slightly warm and far from the hot liquid she needed at the moment to warm her up. Regardless of the temperature, though, Sakura could feel herself already starting to function as a human being and that was more than enough for her right then.

“It’s great, Lee." She shot him a smile. "Thank you very much.”

The boy with the bowl cut gave her a huge grin in return and an eager thumbs-up. 

“I am glad to hear that! I hope you have a great day, Sakura-san!”

Sakura waved at him with a smile and bolted in the direction of the Sciences building. Eight minutes had passed since Professor Hatake’s class started and her mind was working on an excuse for her lateness almost as fast as she was running. How the hell Sakura managed to take small sips of her coffee while sprinting through the rest of the way was beyond her, but she felt nothing but gratitude for that newfound skill.

The glass doors of the Sciences building were pushed open by Sakura with such force that it made a loud noise as it hit the doorstop, but nothing in the world could make Sakura care about it as she continued sprinting down the empty corridor. Sakura had only been late to class once before in her entire life and even then she’d only been three minutes behind schedule. With her disposable cup grasped in her right hand, Sakura moved her head down as she ran and desperately tried to check the time for what felt like the hundredth time.

It was then that she collided with what felt like a fucking wall.

Sakura let out a surprised scream as she lost her balance with the impact but her voice got stuck on her own throat as a strong hand grabbed her waist and stopped her from falling down on her ass. She held onto the man’s defined arms reflexively, grabbing him with force as her heart leapt as though it was ready to burst through her chest.

It was with a shock that Sakura’s eyes focused on what was right in front of her and she realised she had slammed her disposable cup into the man’s dark blue button-down shirt, which was now completely ruined.

“Oh, fuck!” Her eyes widened at the sight of the man’s destroyed shirt.

Sakura raised her eyes and felt her breath hitch as her jade eyes locked with the pair of charcoal ones looking down at her. A split second went by before she realised his hand was still grabbing her waist— _god_ , she could feel his grip on her in a way that didn’t make it any easier for her to catch her breath. She guessed he realised it just then as well since he released his grip on her at the same time she pulled her hand away from his arm.

Sakura forced herself to focus on the coffee situation rather than on the lingering sensation left on her hand and waist after they broke contact.

“Fuck, I’m so so sorry.” She lowered her eyes to his destroyed shirt again and yanked her scarf off as she fiercely fought against the warmth rushing up her neck. 

Without thinking, Sakura started patting down the man’s coffee-stained chest with her own scarf. She knew her face was turning redder with each passing second, especially since she could feel the intensity of his gaze as he watched her. 

“What are you doing?”

Sakura’s body stiffened at the low sound of his voice. She took a shaky breath as she willed herself to not look up at his face again. A thousand different swear words passed through Sakura’s head as her nose caught a trace of his scent underneath the coffee and all coherent thoughts just vanished from her brain.

It couldn’t possibly be legal for someone to smell that good.

“I’m trying to clean it up!” she answered, still keeping her eyes trained on his chest. 

The heat on her face intensified a thousand times as Sakura slowly came to terms with the fact that she was wiping his very defined torso with her scarf.

For fuck's sake, why?

_Why the fuck was she doing that?_

“There’s no cleaning it up. You ruined my shirt.”

At that, Sakura looked up at him. 

His face was unreadable while his voice remained calm and steady. She couldn’t help but notice the thin scar that ran down his left eyebrow all the way down to his cheekbone and that sight did things to Sakura she just couldn’t acknowledge at the moment. Steering her mind far away from any further observations on that man and doing her fucking very best to not notice how outrageously sharp that jawline of his was, Sakura tried to collect her thoughts again.

And it was then that she remembered.

Her eyes widened as she glanced down at her watch. This man had distracted her enough that she completely forgot what she was dealing with, and she was now ten minutes late to Professor Hatake’s class.

“Fuck!” she swore again as she looked around him so she could see the rest of the corridor. “Ok, look, I’m really sorry about your shirt but I’m _really_ late. My name is Haruno Sakura, I can pay for another one or whatever. Sorry!”

She didn’t even glance back at him as she sprinted down the corridor, turning the left corner leading to the auditorium where Professor Hatake’s lecture was being held. Stopping a few steps away from the open door, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose. She would try to make a quiet entrance and just slip into a random chair, bringing as least attention to herself as she possibly could. If he did notice her and demanded an explanation, she would just use one of the dozens of excuses she thought of while running to the building.

Clutching the bag’s strap hanging from her left shoulder so tightly her knuckles turned white, Sakura took the last few steps to the classroom and stopped right at the entrance. As she took in the sight in front of her, though, sheer confusion—and relief—took hold of Sakura's body. There were a few dozens of students taking up the seats of the small auditorium room and, while they all looked terrified to some degree, the vast majority looked really fucking bored.

And that boredom, Sakura guessed, was due to the absence of a professor in the classroom. 

Quickly scanning the upper rows from the level ground, Sakura realised there were only a few seats left and they were all on the first row, which caused another wave of relief to wash over her. Sakura had always been a front seat kind of student and she loved how convenient it was that no one seemed to want to sit on the front if they could help it. She took the one right in the middle as she usually did, always prioritizing her view of the board above anything else.

“Is this advanced human physiology?” she asked the guy sitting to her left, just to be sure.

The guy with dirty blonde hair and square glasses looked at her curiously before answering.

“Yeah.”

“Shouldn’t it have started like, ten minutes ago?”

“Yeah.”

Mildly annoyed at the guy’s tendency to speak in monosyllables—was this how strangers felt when they approached Shikamaru?—Sakura had to fight against rolling her eyes.

“Why hasn’t anyone left?”

“Would you?” He arched one eyebrow at her.

Of course, she wouldn’t. Sakura would fucking _never_ walk away from a class before knowing it’d been officially cancelled. Still, she knew she already had a bad image of Professor Hatake ingrained in her mind and she wondered why the hell the students just put up with this shit. Turning away from the guy without bothering to end the conversation, Sakura busied herself with pulling out her notebook and stationery supplies from her bag. 

Fifteen minutes later, Sakura had done aesthetic covers for all of the three subjects she would be completing that semester. Twenty-five minutes had passed since the class had been set to start and Sakura was borderline furious. Sure enough, if this were any other professor she’d suspect something had happened but knowing this man’s reputation made Sakura pretty fucking sure he was just trying to intimidate his new students and that was just fucking ridiculous.

It was then that the chatter around the room suddenly died down, making Sakura look up from her notebook to see what had caused it.

The man Sakura had collided with fifteen minutes earlier strolled into the classroom with both hands stuffed deep inside his trousers’ pockets, making her face immediately burn at the sight of him. Of fucking _course_ he’d be in the same class as her, she didn’t even know why she was surprised at this point.

Now that she could see him from a proper distance she couldn’t help but study his tousled silver hair, which just looked so effortlessly tousled it was actually unfair. She couldn't help but notice how he not only had a leather messenger bag hanging from his left shoulder now, which he didn’t have a few minutes before, but he also had switched the destroyed blue shirt for a black button-down with both sleeves rolled up his to forearms.

Not that Sakura was particularly paying any attention to _that_ sight.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as he continued walking in the direction of the professor’s table, standing a few meters away from her in the front of the classroom.

No. It couldn't be. _He_ couldn't be.

 _No_.

Sakura watched in absolute horror as he hoisted his bag off his shoulder and placed it on the wooden table, biting her bottom lip hard to stop herself from letting out a noise of complete and utter despair. She’d just spent the last few seconds thinking this was a man taking his second degree or something, not _Professor Hatake_.

How the fuck could she ever dream of standing up to this man now that not only she’d _ruined_ his shirt, but she’d acted like a complete fucking moron as she did it?

The blood rushing through Sakura’s veins went straight to her face at a much faster rate as she found Professor Hatake watching her with an expression she couldn’t decipher. It lasted barely a second, though, and she felt her shoulders relax in relief as he looked away.

“Class starts when I walk through that door.” his deep voice echoed through the room, making Sakura tighten the hold she had on her pen. 

The silver-haired man leaned back against his table, his hands still buried deep within his pockets and his ankles now crossed. His face was always the perfect image of relaxation, yet his somewhat bored expression mixed in with his relaxed posture did nothing to diminish the aura of intimidation and dominance that exhaled from him as he faced his students. 

“That means each of you has to be inside this classroom before I am,” he carried on with his speech, his voice demanding attention and respect just with its sound. “If you leave before I’m here you’re getting an absence, regardless of how long you’ve been waiting. With three absences you’re out of this class and you get to try again next semester.”

It took every ounce of strength for Sakura to stop herself from bursting into desperate, nervous laughter. Literally _every_ disaster that could have possibly happened to destroy every single ounce of her dignity had taken place, only a billion times worse. Her friends would absolutely lose their shit when she told them about this and, even though it’d only give them ammo to that ridiculous idea of her being afraid of Professor Hatake, Sakura knew she would be laughing her ass off with them this time. 

Just what were the fucking _odds_ , honestly?

As Professor Hatake jumped right into his lecture, Sakura thankfully found it easy to activate her focused/learning mindset. It wasn't hard at all for her to spent the next hours actively listening to every word coming out of his mouth, rarely looking up as she took notes on her notebook. Ok, she was definitely not proud at how she spent the entire fifteen minutes of break speaking alone to her turned off phone and pretending to be on a phone call to avoid any kind of confrontation with her professor. All Sakura could do to make herself feel better about that pathetic moment was convince herself no one would ever know about it.

She'd take that one moment of weakness to her grave, no doubt about it.

The second half of the lecture came with a hitch, though, as a guy started quietly asking the people sitting around him to repeat what Professor Hatake had previously said on the interaction between the renal and respiratory systems and its control on body pH because he’d missed it. 

“If you can’t keep up with the rhythm of my lecture, that’s on you. Work harder,” Professor Hatake said dryly, his arms crossed in front of him and his expression bored. “You’re free to record my voice if you want and if you have questions, answering them is on my job description.”

From the way Professor Hatake’s gaze travelled through the seats behind Sakura and how he arched a single eyebrow at whoever his gaze landed on, she could only guess someone had raised their hand.

“Could you maybe write more on the board?” a girl asked, her voice so low Sakura almost didn’t hear it. “Or prepare slides, anything more visual?”

“Isn’t the book visual enough for you?”

How the _fuck_ was that man still working there? Especially since he allowed students to record his lectures, _surely_ someone must have shown his superiors what an asshole he actually was. Sure, Sakura could understand it if he just preferred to teach verbally—in fact, she really preferred that too since there was _nothing_ worse for her than attending a lecture in which all the professor does is write on the board or read from their own slides—but he surely didn’t need to be such a jerk about it. 

Needless to say no one raised their hands again for the rest of the lecture. Sakura’s focus never wavered as Professor Hatake spoke and she had no issue whatsoever following his lectures. As the three long hours came to an end, Sakura wondered if she could actually make some extra money tutoring the other students on the class since it was pretty clear from everyone’s discouraged looks that she’d been one of the only ones—if not _the_ only—who’d actually had no issue with it.

She made her way to the door with her head full of ways she could fit tutoring lessons into her crazy busy schedule this semester while doing her best to keep whatever ounce of dignity she still could in front of Professor Hatake.

.

.

.

As Friday came along, so did the sun, making Kakashi close his eyes as he stepped out of the shade of the Sciences building. 

He pursed his lips, trying his best to keep on a normal expression on his face despite his sullen mood at being forced to attend the usual shitty festival Konoha University always organized on the first Friday of every new semester. Usually, he would take advantage of the free day without classes and stay in his studio, lounging on his bed reading Icha Icha with Pakkun napping cuddled against him.

Today, though, that had been impossible since he had been summoned by Tsunade to receive the very unfortunate news he would be needed to supervise a few bachelor’s theses from the Sciences department this semester. 

In his seven years of teaching, Kakashi had managed to escape this damnable fate. Tsunade may have hired him based on his competency and all, but even she knew it’d be best for everyone involved to just not involve Kakashi on the one-on-one session students needed with supervisors to work on their theses. He couldn’t stand the idea of meeting clueless students multiple times throughout the semester to help with a dissertation that he had absolutely no interest in. Unfortunately, though, Hayate's sudden illness forced the Sciences board to rearrange the students' theses he would have been responsible for amongst the remaining faculty, which led Kakashi to what he was sure would become the worst semester he'd ever had at Konoha University.

And that was also counting own his student days.

Anyhow, the brief interruption to Kakashi’s free day would have been fine if only he had managed to slip in and out of campus unnoticed. Unfortunately, though, that had not been the case. As soon as Kakashi had caught sight of Kurenai as she exited her own meeting with Tsunade, he knew his escape would be impossible since she'd wait for him outside their boss' office until he was done with his.

And so she did.

Regardless of the excuses Kakashi had tried to come up with, Kurenai took absolutely none of his shit—as usual. Now, a few minutes past, he found himself strolling through campus side by side with his crimson-eyed friend in the direction of the loud music coming from the main square of Konoha University.

“I’m glad you decided to hang around this time.” Kurenai gently nudged him with her elbow. “I promise we’ll have fun.” 

Kakashi hummed in acknowledgement at her words. Kurenai was no fool. He knew she was acting as if he actually wanted to attend the festival just to annoy him for the sake of it.

Just as much, Kakashi knew there would be no slithering his way out of it. 

For the past seven years, his friends had done everything they possibly could to bring Kakashi out of his own misery. They had urged him to take the teaching job at KU, planted the idea in his head to adopt a dog, and made sure he would participate in their monthly dinner and drinking sessions, each month hosted by one of them. They had always respected his boundaries when doing so, but would never hesitate into taking advantage of an opportunity such as the present one to make sure he still had at least a few social skills left in him.

“Look, just get a few beers, ok?” Kurenai turned to him as they were about to turn the corner of the Law building, nearing the festival with each step. “Stay for a while.”

Kakashi gave his friend an eye-crinkling smile. It didn’t go unnoticed to him how happy Kurenai was about him being there. Yet, he could see just as clearly the uncertainty she felt that he would bolt at the first opportunity. Even though he desperately wanted to, he wouldn’t do that to his friend—at least not before getting a few beers first.

“Relax, Sarutobi,” Kakashi smirked. “I'm loving this just as much as I used to when we were students.”

He chuckled as Kurenai rolled her eyes at his answer. His chuckle turned into a groan, though, as they turned the corner and came face to face with the mayhem called Konoha University’s festival. 

There were dozens of red and white stands scattered around the edges of the main square, with thousands of students filling up the space in the middle. In front of Hashirama Hall, there was a huge stage propped up with a DJ playing some songs Kakashi would rather die than listen to. Thankfully, though, the first stand they walked by was serving alcohol and it was honestly all he needed.

It was shitty alcohol, but Kakashi had no complaints and no other expectations. 

Welcoming the taste of shitty beer as he took his first sip after waiting in line for a few minutes, Kakashi let Kurenai lead him to where she knew their friends were waiting. Thousands of students were walking to and fro around them, and a sizable crowd had formed in front of the stage with hundreds of arms raised in the air as their owners jumped up and down to the beat of the music.

Kakashi couldn’t help but think back to his own university days. Even back then these festivals and parties as a whole had never really appealed to him. Kakashi had always considered himself to be a ‘go big or go home’ kind of guy, and getting wasted in the company of his closest friends, fucking off in empty parking lots or in the woods around Konoha was the shit he had lived for back then.

“No fucking way.” Asuma’s incredulous tone reached Kakashi and forced him to come back to the present.

Kakashi smiled at his friends as Kurenai and he joined them. Asuma had a half-burned lit cigarette hanging from his grinning lips and both hands placed on each side of his hips while Tenzou was busy finishing his own bottle of beer. As soon as he put his beer down and looked at his friends, though, his face turned into an expression of pleasant but disbelieving surprise.

“Kakashi!” Tenzou said, staring at him as if he had grown two heads. “Didn't expect to see you here.”

“Did you kidnap him?” Asuma asked his wife.

Kurenai laughed, wrapping her arms around Asuma’s midsection.

“I found him leaving Tsunade’s office. No escaping the theses this year, huh, Kakashi?”

“Oof.” Asuma raised his eyebrows. “Poor kids. How many are you getting?"

“Just one, apparently. I don’t know who.” Kakashi raised his bottle-free hand to scratch behind his head, giving his friends an eye-crinkling smile. “I’m pretty sure Tsunade’s applying a ‘the fewer the better’ policy here.”

“Well, she’s damn right.” Tenzou glanced inside his now-empty bottle, probably trying to figure out whether there was any beer that had magically reappeared in the past few seconds. “What about you? Looking forward to it?”

“You guys know me.” Kakashi shrugged, lowering his hand to his pocket. “When would I ever say no to such an enlightening opportunity to guide our lovely students into academic excellence?”

He saw Tenzou opening his mouth to answer when a booming voice coming from behind Kakashi shut him up.

“Kakashi! Could that be you?” Gai’s thunderous voice made Kakashi shut his eyes in dread. “I can not believe my eyes! Of course, it is you! The sole owner of such youthful silver hair, who else could it be!”

Kakashi felt Gai’s hands wrap around his biceps, forcing him to turn around. He looked into his friend’s grinning face and didn’t even bother trying to get out of his grip.

“Gai, you saw me yesterday.”

“Well, yes I did! And now I get to see you again! Here, at the festival out of all places! What made you come?”

“Kurenai kidnapped me.”

Gai sent a questioning look at Kurenai, who only took a sip of her beer with a smile on her face in return.

“Oh, well, in this case surely the end justifies the end! Glad to have you here, my friend.”

The owner of the boldest bowl cut in Konoha finally let go of Kakashi’s arms, who gladly took the chance to take a step away from him while bringing the bottle of shitty beer to his lips and offering no further commentary to the matter.

“You guys seemed deep in conversation when we arrived.” Kurenai turned to Asuma and Tenzou.

“We were just discussing our new students.” Tenzou shrugged, coming back from the trash can located a few steps away where he had thrown his empty bottle while Kakashi had been stuck in Gai’s grip.

“Fascinating subject.” Kakashi didn’t even bother disguising the sarcasm in his voice.

Gai opened his mouth, surely about to start his usual speech on the greatness of Lee. If Kakashi had to hear one more word about that kid, Kakashi _knew_ he would lose it. Even talking about the New Year’s situation wouldn’t be enough to make it bearable since he could only take about ten seconds of Gai’s loud pride towards the kid, the owner of the _second_ boldest bowl cut in Konoha. 

“Tenzou was telling me about this student of his,” Asuma thankfully spoke before Gai ever could.

“Good or bad?” Kurenai disentangled herself from around Asuma and fished a lighter out of her purse. 

She relit Asuma’s cigarette before he even noticed it had gone out, making Kakashi smile fondly at them. Still, he wasn't surprised when that too familiar uneasiness spread throughout his chest at the sight. Watching Asuma and Kurenai together always made him wonder if he would ever be able to find what they had for himself. Kakashi already knew the answer to that, though. It was a big, fat no and he’d made his peace with that at least fifteen years before.

“Really good, actually,” Tenzou answered, his arms now crossed in front of his chest. “Somewhat surprising.”

“Tenzou put up a quiz for his new students of… what’s the name again?” Asuma started.

“Macroscopic anatomy.”

“Oh, yeah!” Kurenai nodded. “I forgot you were taking Kakashi’s old course.”

“Big shoes to fill,” Gai noted, a flash on his teeth as he grinned with pride.

Kakashi could do nothing but slowly shake his head at the comment.

“I’m aware of that,” Tenzou murmured. “Well, anyway, I decided it was best to apply a non-graded quiz on our first day to grasp whether the lectures I’d planned were in accordance with the students’ previous knowledge.”

 _That_ was a significant deviance from Kakashi’s own teaching method, but he chose against speaking up. He knew Tenzou had been nervous about taking on his previous course, and he wouldn’t undermine his methods just because he wouldn’t normally do them.

“Well, I gave them a pretty advanced quiz.” Tenzou carried on as his friends kept their attention on him. “I got questions that had different degrees of difficulty to test where their level truly was, you know? Anyways, I made it very clear to the students that the grade wouldn’t affect their overall results and that they could just skip what they didn’t know, and they were welcome to answer what they did know with as much detail as possible. So, I expected the entire class to answer the easy ones well enough but was prepared to see the majority of the questions either unanswered or very poorly done. But one of the girls went ahead and _aced_ it.”

Kakashi furrowed his brows. If students were acing Tenzou’s tests, he was just being way too easy on them.

“You sure that quiz wasn’t just easy?” Asuma asked as he exhaled the smoke from his cigarette, taking the words out of Kakashi’s mouth. Not that he would actually have said anything, though.

“I actually got a mix of Kakashi’s old exams for most of the questions—the hard ones, of course. They were all from over five years ago, so there’s no way she could have seen it before.”

That made Kakashi’s eyebrows rise up in surprise as he took a long sip of his beer.

“A _student_ aced one of Kakashi’s tests?” Gai asked, shock clear in his face. “What?! _I_ never managed to ace any of Kakashi’s tests!”

“Gai.” Kakashi fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“ _Kakashi_!” His friend raised both of his arms high in exasperation. “For years I’ve been taking your exams and trying to ace them to beat you! It’s impossible that a student was able to do so out of nowhere!”

“Maybe the fact that Sciences isn’t your area has something to do with that,” Kakashi remarked, as he’d done so multiple times for the past years. Once again, his words went in through Gai’s one eye and left through the other.

“She’s probably Kakashi’s former student and studied a lot to pass his class a second time,” Kurenai stated with an amused smile on her face.

Kakashi stopped himself right before reminding her that no student had ever gotten a grade above 71 in his exams. Supposedly, he guessed it was indeed possible that this student had been retaking his class for many semesters and just studied her ass off, desperate to pass it for once. 

Still, acing it was just too much.

“Hm, no,” Tenzou said, stopping Kakashi in his tracks and making his eyebrows furrow again. “I taught her bio back on her first semester and she’s _crazy_ smart. I looked at her records yesterday to see how she progressed over the years and she’s never taken Kakashi’s class. She left macroscopic anatomy to her last semester.”

“But that’s ok, isn’t it?” Kurenai frowned. “What’s her major? Maybe she was only supposed to take it now.”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure she’s a biochem major but she’s also pre-med,” Tenzou said.

“Pre-med students start trying macroscopic anatomy in their third semesters,” Kakashi stated matter-of-factly. “They know they’ll probably fail it, it’s insane to leave it to the last one. Especially with the thesis. Why take three courses when you could take two?”

“Well, she not only left it for last, but she also aced one of your tests,” Asuma said, his eyebrows raised and his tone mocking. “Either she’s a genius or she just taught herself the subject and tried to avoid learning it from you. Or both, honestly.” 

All of his friends burst into laughter but Kakashi’s brow raised in a sharp angle.

“That’s ridiculous. I’m sure she’s been my student.”

“I did check, Kakashi, she hasn’t.” Tenzou shrugged.

“Records can be wrong. What’s her name?”

“As if you could remember a single name of any of your former students, Kakashi,” Kurenai grinned in amusement at the situation and earned a chuckle from Kakashi in return.

“Well, it’s Haruno Sakura,” Tenzou said. “Ah! She’s the bartender from the Rusty Kunai that's my student, the one with pink hair.”

Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai reacted to the news with varying degrees of recognition and excitement—Kurenai was _really_ amused at the prospect of anyone getting under Kakashi’s skin—now that they realised they actually knew who Tenzou had been talking about. It took every ounce of will Kakashi had for him to maintain a blank face after Tenzou announced her name, though. He hadn’t even needed the mention of her pink hair to know exactly who it was. 

How could he forget? She owed him a new shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and I want to give a special thanks to everyone who took the time to leave comments for me! you have no idea the happiness you've brought me, and how much you motivated me to go on with this fic. getting some feedback always feels great!
> 
> thanks a lot, and enjoy <3
> 
> -A


	3. apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021

“Oh, no, no, no, _no_! Fuck!” Ino screamed as the tower of wooden blocks stumbled down.

Of course, they were all far too drunk to do anything besides laugh hysterically. Even Ino fell straight back into laughter after a frustrated groan came out of her mouth. Sakura clutched her stomach, laughing so hard no sound came out of her open mouth as someone around the table accidentally let out a drunken snort as they laughed.

She tried urging herself to calm down but making eye contact with Naruto on the other side of the coffee table sent them both over the edge again.

“You gotta chug, Ino.” Shikamaru handed her a new beer bottle as Sakura wiped the laughing tears from her eyes.

The blonde raised an eyebrow as she pushed back her high ponytail from its place showering down her left shoulder. She snatched the beer out of Shika’s raised hand and gave their friends a wolfish grin.

“Five bucks you guys can’t rebuild the tower before I’m done with this.”

“You’re fucking _on_.” Tenten immediately started grabbing the Jenga blocks and putting them together.

Needless to say, they hadn’t been able to rebuild the entire Jenga tower before Ino was done drinking, but it’d been a close call since almost everyone had put in their efforts—Shikamaru just didn’t care enough to bother moving and remained sprawled on his spot by the edge of Sakura's coffee table. It did put a smile on Sakura’s face to see Sasuke show how much fun he was having as he bickered with Naruto over the fastest way to pile up the blocks, grinning wildly as he did so. The raven-haired boy had a faint blush across his face, which indicated he had drunk enough for him to let go of his usual uptightness. 

Drunk Sasuke was always surprisingly a great company to have around.

Sakura was beyond glad she wasn’t spending her Friday night working behind the counter at the Rusty Kunai a week after New Year’s. She had pulled two extra shifts during the week just to be able to attend her last Konoha University festival and have fun with her friends and she didn’t regret it in the slightest, especially now that the festival was over and she could just have fun with her friends playing Drunk Junga in Sakura’s living room at one in the morning. She loved her job, but she’d choose fucking off with her mates over cleaning the sticky counter at 4:30 am anytime.

“Ok, ok, I’ll go next!” Naruto leaned over the coffee table and concentrated as he pulled out one of the blocks right in the centre of the structure.

Sakura couldn’t help but smile, shaking her head in disbelief. She didn’t know why she was so surprised. She had been close friends with Naruto for nearly a decade, more than enough time for her to be well aware of all his habits and personal philosophies. Still, the way he always challenged himself to the furthest in all possible situations always put a smile on Sakura’s face. His boldness had always been one of her favourite traits of his and she loved how he let it show in such small ways it couldn’t help but be endearing.

“Hah! Waterfall.” He held out the block up for everyone to see after having successfully removed the wooden piece without bringing the tower down.

The main response from the group consisted of excited noises as everyone moved to gather up their drinks, yet Sakura could swear she heard Shikamaru groan at the idea of moving from his comfortable position. She couldn’t stop giggling to herself, especially after she noticed over three-quarters of her bottle was already gone.

“Hey, _wine_ ladies!” Tenten scoffed. Sakura exchanged a curious glance with Hinata before they both turned their attention to the brunette. “We’re chugging, drink from your bottles.”

Sakura didn’t hesitate to drink what was left of the wine in her glass and place it on top of the coffee table before making quick work of twisting the screw cap off of her Chardonnay.

“But… why can’t I just drink from the glass?” Hinata asked, her hands anxiously clutching the neck of her own bottle. 

Sakura wasn’t sure whether the blush in her friend’s face was due to the alcohol or a result of the command she’d just received, knowing full well Hinata had probably never drunk anything straight from the bottle ever. 

“Come on, Hinata, live a little!” Ino smirked, causing a furious blush to cross Hinata’s face.

“ _Ino_.” Naruto glared at his friend. “Hinata doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Sakura raised her hands in a tranquilising gesture. “Hinata, it’s for fun! Come on, I’ll do it too.”

Sakura could see Hinata’s discomfort at breaking the impeccable manners she’d been taught her entire life, but everyone cheered as she shyly pulled out the cork from her own bottle, ready for what was to come.

It was then that it hit Sakura how screwed she was at having Sai sitting to her right. The rules of Waterfall only allowed someone to stop drinking after the person to their right stopped, and Sai had not only a freakishly high alcohol tolerance but also an even higher ability to chug significant amounts of liquid for abnormal amounts of time. 

Sakura couldn’t help but warily eye the bottle of Smirnoff clutched in his hands. She’d seen him chug worse things for far too long. 

“Everyone ready?” Naruto asked.

Sakura's drunken brain quickly brushed her worries away as she glanced around at all of her friends, all clearly drunk and holding full drinks in their hands.

"Ok, go!”

The eight of them joined their drinks in the centre for a messy and drunken toast and didn’t hesitate in the slightest to follow up with the dare. 

.

.

A few hours later, Sakura stood with her head outside her living room window in an attempt to get some fresh air, significantly soberer after having drunk about an entire swimming pool worth of water in an idle attempt to avoid a hangover the next morning. It was inhumanly cold outside but she didn’t care. The wind blew her hair away from her face, and if she really focused she could almost pretend she didn’t hear the sounds of retching coming from her bathroom.

“Do you mind?” Shikamaru appeared at her left, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

Sakura’s nose wrinkled as she eyed her friend pulling one of them out of its pack and placing it between his lips. She didn’t care enough to protest, though, yet she appreciated the fact that he’d bothered to check with her.

“Just make sure the smoke doesn’t get inside the apartment.”

Shika hummed in agreement at the rule he’d heard about a billion times before, already lighting the cigarette up. She hated how she lowkey chocked on her own breath as the stale odour reached her nostrils, but she fought against the reflex to cough. She was enjoying the cold air way too much to turn back inside.

“Do you think I acted like a child?” she asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

“Yeah, you did act like a child.”

“Ugh,” Sakura groaned, placing her elbows on the windowsill and resting her chin on the palm of her right hand. “I don’t know what the fuck happened, I was just _really_ embarrassed. I don’t think I had any dignity left to stand up to him if he screamed at me or something.”

“He didn’t scream at you when you actually drenched him in coffee and felt him up.” Shika shrugged as he took a drag of his cigarette. “Why would he scream at you when you apologise for it?”

Sakura let out an even more pained groan, now burying her face in both of her palms.

“I did _not_ feel him up.”

“Yes, you did,” Shika smirked. “From what you told me you were nearly crossing the line of molestation.”

Sakura couldn’t help but snort at that, the sheer embarrassment she’d been feeling since Tuesday finally allowing her to find some amusement on the cost of her own mortification.

“I technically already did, though." She turned her head to face her friend. "Apologise.” 

Shika raised one sharp eyebrow at her, holding the cigarette to the left as far away from her as he could. 

“And then you ran. Ridiculously.”

“I was late for class!”

“Hm,” he let out a noncommittal noise as he paused to take a long drag of his cigarette and exhale the smoke, taking his time before speaking again. “Still ridiculous.” 

Sakura rolled her eyes at this. She was well aware she would’ve dealt with the situation differently if she’d know that man was Professor Hatake. She didn’t know exactly how differently she would’ve acted, but she could only hope she wouldn’t have let her own instantaneous attraction to him cloud the fact that she wasn’t supposed to have touched him at all, much less tried to wipe down his chest. She probably would have settled for walking away with her head held high instead of running.

“Stop overthinking,” Shika said. “Just apologise on Tuesday. You’re a big girl, you can do it.”

“I’ve already apologised,” Sakura mumbled. 

She knew Shikamaru was right and she would have to just suck it up and do it. Shika also knew Sakura had taken what she needed from the conversation and once again allowed them to fall into a comfortable silence. 

“Looks like Ino’s done,” he observed after a while as he glanced at the empty street below them.

Indeed, Sakura had been so absorbed with her own thoughts she hadn't realised the sordid sounds of retching had stopped coming from deeper inside the apartment.

“Well, I better put her to bed then.” Sakura squeezed Shikamaru’s arm gently as she turned to make her way to her bathroom.

About ten minutes later, Sakura softly shut her bedroom door behind her after tucking Ino into her own bed so she could sleep it off. She walked out to the living room and leaned against the wall, observing her friends as they were scattered around the room doing their own thing. 

Tenten was cuddled up on Sakura’s sofa sound asleep while Naruto and Hinata sat together on the floor with their backs to that very same sofa. They were deep in conversation and Sakura smiled as she saw Naruto absentmindedly tucking a strand of Hinata’s hair behind her ear. Sai had taken her place by the windowsill, standing quietly next to Shikamaru. Shika had apparently lit another cigarette and Sai had a glass of what seemed to be scotch in his hands. 

Sakura was just beginning to wonder where Sasuke was as she made her way to the kitchen and found him standing with his back to the counter. His eyes were trained on the ground and his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest.

“You ok?” she asked him.

Sasuke raised his eyes, running them up her body before settling on her face. She had spent a significant amount of drunken nights with him to know he was still under the effect of the alcohol, but not gleefully so anymore.

“You know the answer to that.”

Sakura sighed, crossing her arms as her mind ran through what to answer.

“Sasuke, it’s been two years. I don’t know what you expect of me.”

“I _expect_ you to give us another chance.”

Sakura couldn’t help but sigh at this, her eyes closing shut as she willed herself to go through this one more time. They’d had similar conversations multiple times over the years, and while some ended in the same old fights they used to have by the end of their relationship, a significant number did end up with the two of them falling into each other's arms for the night—very foolishly so. Still, Sakura had grown sick and tired of it and she knew she couldn’t take much more.

“You know I won’t do that.” She slowly shook her head at him, her brows slightly furrowing in her forehead.

“How many times are we going to keep having this conversation?” He uncrossed his arms and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You’re the one who brings it up every single time.”

“Yeah, go ahead, blame it all on me.” His voice had a hint of the hurtful disdain he always used when things were getting uncomfortable for him. “I do seem to recall you initiating this conversation right now.”

“Fine, I won’t ask if you’re ok anymore.” Sakura opened her arms in exasperation. “Sulk around all you want, you’re damn good at that.”

She turned to leave the kitchen but Sasuke’s longing tone when he spoke next made her stop dead on her tracks.

“What is it gonna take for me to convince you it’d be different this time?”

Sakura’s throat clenched. It was just really, _really_ unfair that two years had passed since she threw down the gloves with Sasuke and he still couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t let _her_ go. And they both knew damn well all the reasons that led Sakura to break it off in the first place.

“Except that it won’t, and you know that.” She turned around to stare back at him only to find his onyx eyes locked on hers with an intensity he reserved only for her. “We would never work out in the long run, Sasuke. I'm not the same person I used to be before and I won't ever go back to that again. We don't fit together, we really don't.”

Sasuke remained in silence for what felt like a lifetime, his eyes never leaving hers. 

“Why haven’t you dated anyone else after me?”

“ _What_?” Sakura scoffed, feeling her face grow warmer. “That’s none of your business.”

“I’ll tell you why.” Sasuke stepped away from the counter, slowly approaching her. “You _know_ it’s gonna be you and me in the end, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself because you’re too stubborn.”

Sakura didn’t move while Sasuke made his way closer to her. All she could do was watch until he came to a stop right in front of her, forcing her to tilt her head up to look at his face.

“I don’t know what to say anymore, this conversation’s happened a billion times and it just never changes.” Sakura tightly crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Don’t you dare blame it on me, you’re the only who can’t take no for an answer.”

“ _I_ can’t take no for an answer?” Sasuke hissed. “Are you seriously gonna pretend you haven’t called me multiple times since we broke up because you didn’t want to sleep alone?”

“Those are called booty calls, Sasuke, you shouldn’t be that proud of them.” Sakura rolled her eyes. “Also, don’t talk as if that shit was still happening. I don’t you if you’ve noticed but the last time it happened was at _Summer_.”

“And why is that?” He looked down at her, his lower tone giving up what his stoically guarded face tried so much to hide. “Getting it from someone else now?”

“Ok, that’s it. Sasuke, we’re not _good_ for each other. We never were and we never would be, I don’t know how the hell I can make you see this but it’s true.” Sakura took a deep breath as she tried to swallow down her anger. “My sex life is absolutely _none_ of your business, you have no right to meddle with it. You need to move on, I need you to understand that we’re not together anymore, and we _won’t_ be. I’m not having this conversation with you again, Sasuke, I mean it.”

Sakura knew Sasuke well enough to see past the mask he shielded his feelings behind. She could see the hurt in his eyes, she could see how crushed he felt at her words. There was nothing she could do, though. It was unfair for both of them to keep dragging this on and it was time she ripped the band-aid off. 

Two years was _way_ too fucking long.

She turned around and made a beeline to her bedroom, not risking glancing in the direction of any of her friends as she did so. They had crashed at each other's places an infinite amount of times over the years, making it unnecessary for her to worry about her role as hostess. They’d manage just fine on their own.

Sakura quietly slipped into the dark bedroom, softly closing the door behind her. The moonlight slipping through the window shed a ghostly light into her bedroom, which Sakura used to guide her to the empty side of her bed. She could see Ino’s passed out form underneath the covers, and she was sure absolutely nothing in the world would cause the blonde to wake up at that moment.

As Sakura put on her old Konoha University tee and slipped on some old pyjama shorts, her throat started to burn uncomfortably. Yet, it wasn't until after she curled up underneath her comforter that Sakura allowed the angry tears to fall, the soft snores originating from Ino giving her all the motivation she needed to not go back out and strangle the biggest mistake she’d ever done in her entire life.

.

.

.

Professor Hatake was a little bit over fifteen minutes late to his lecture the next Tuesday. Sakura had blissfully kept her mind far away from her advanced human physiology embarrassment throughout the weekend and only allowed the mortification to resurface on Monday night. Thankfully she had still been able to sleep just fine and had managed to follow up with her usual morning routine with no setbacks, meaning any further running late incidents had been successfully avoided.

Walking into the auditorium classroom that morning had made Sakura’s eyebrows rise up high on her forehead. About thirty per cent of the students that’d showed up the week before were now absent, probably having dropped the class after the first lecture and she couldn’t help but wonder if Professor Hatake minded when these things happened.

Based on what she’d seen from him, she highly doubted it. 

Sakura was successful in maintaining complete focus throughout the three hours of his lecture. She wasn’t particularly proud of how she hid in the bathroom for the fifteen minutes of break, but she guessed that was better than pretending to be on a fake phone call for a quarter of an hour. 

Hopefully after today she wouldn’t feel the need to avoid confrontation with him at all costs. She was going to win her dignity back even if she had to take it by force—whatever the hell _that_ would entail, she didn’t now.

Sakura was going to apologise again. She was going to walk up to Professor Hatake, look him in the eyes, and say she was sorry for being reckless the previous week. And since Sakura still had a strong desire to be able to get the fuck away from there afterwards—just in case things went south and she embarrassed herself even further, which of course was a possibility—she decided to wait until the end of the lecture.

As Professor Hatake dismissed the class and started to put his stuff away, Sakura’s hands started to shake ever so slightly. Her body followed suit, pathetically trembling and breaking in a cold sweat as if she had decided to take a stroll outside without her coat on.

Ridiculous as it was, she was well aware her body’s reaction had nothing to do with the temperature in the room, though.

Taking her time to slip her closed notebook and stationery supplies back into her messenger bag, Sakura wondered about the odds of a meteor crashing into the Sciences department building and saving her from her misery happening. As she stood up from her seat and slipped on her winter coat, she decided to give Tenten’s breathing techniques a go. Forcing herself to get her shit together—what the fuck was even _wrong_ with her?—Sakura pulled the bag’s strap over her left shoulder, her hand closing in a tight fist around the strap almost as if Sakura was hanging on to dear life. 

She forced her hand to relax and dropped it to her side, making her way to Professor Hatake’s table a few steps away from her. Thankfully, walking forced her body to stop shaking in dreadful anticipation and allowed Sakura to gather a little bit of confidence before she did what she was set out to do. As she stopped in front of his desk, though, Sakura became very aware that all the other students had already exited the room and the two of them were the only ones left behind. 

Professor Hatake had his head bent down as he put his belongings inside his own messenger bag and Sakura held her breath. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe he hadn’t noticed her presence and she could actually just turn around and leave.

“Do you need something, Miss Haruno?” Professor Hatake asked, not even bothering to raise his head and checking if it was really her.

How the fuck did he _know_? 

Sakura's mouth instantly dried up, making it very difficult for her to swallow. She was forced to wet her lips before speaking.

“Uh, no. No, I’m fine. I just… I wanted to apologise again. For your shirt.”

At that, Professor Hatake paused what he was doing and raised his head to stare at her. Sakura couldn’t help but feel her face flush under the intensity of his charcoal eyes studying her.

“You’ve done that already.”

“I know.” Sakura stuffed her hands inside her coat’s pockets so he wouldn’t see them closing into fists. She’d be damned before she let him know how nervous he made her feel. “But I didn’t know who you were then.”

“Does who I am matter?”

Sakura blinked. There was absolutely no coherent response she could possibly give him for that. 

She was silent for a few seconds, giving him enough time to straighten up and turn his body in her direction completely. He crossed his arms across his chest and it took everything inside Sakura to not glance down at his exposed forearms as he did so.

“Look, I’m just trying to do the right thing, okay? I’m apologising again and if you want me to pay for a new shirt I’ll gladly do so.”

Professor Hatake’s steady eyes were locked on hers, causing a chill to form on the back of Sakura’s head and spread all the way down to her lower back. Forcing herself to redirect her eyes somewhere else to get her shit together, Sakura couldn’t help but focus on the beauty mark under the left corner of his mouth.

How had she not noticed it before?

“I’m not taking your money," he said. "Just stop running around where you shouldn’t.”

Sakura nodded, unable to utter any coherent words as the sound of his voice led her eyes to lock on his again. She forced herself to blink and avert her eyes, not wasting any second before turning in the direction of the door. Their conversation was over and she was more than ready to leave.

“Ah, Miss Haruno.”

His tone made Sakura’s breath hitch. It was at the same time casual and somewhat bored but with a hint of intimidation underneath that made even the small hairs on Sakura’s arms stand up. She hadn’t managed to give a single step away from his desk but had to turn back around to face him again.

When the hell had her hands become so clammy? She wanted nothing more than to wipe them down on her jeans but she obviously wouldn’t do that in front of him.

“How come you’ve never been my student before?”

Professor Hatake’s question took Sakura completely off guard. She felt her mouth open slightly, her eyebrows going up in her forehead.

“Wh-what?”

“You’re graduating this semester. How come you’re pre-med and you haven’t done macroscopic anatomy sooner?”

Was that _really_ happening?

Professor Hatake sounded like the impersonation of casualness as Sakura’s mind ran into a thousand different directions at lightning speed. He was watching her with a look she couldn’t quite figure out, but that was the least of her concerns at the moment. 

What if he just knew he’d never had a pink-haired student before? Was he confident he would remember her if he had? No, but he _knew_ she was pre-med. He couldn’t possibly know about her medical ambitions and that she was about to graduate if he hadn’t checked her records. 

_Why the fuck_ had he checked her records? 

“You looked into my records?” Sakura frowned, her voice steady as indignation took over her previous mortification. 

“Avoiding questions by asking further ones is extremely immature, Miss Haruno.”

Sakura tilted her head slightly to the side, her brows furrowing even more. She opened her mouth to answer but he cut her to the chase.

“You know what else is immature?” Professor Hatake uncrossed his arms, stuffing his hands deep in his trouser’s pockets. “Putting off taking a mandatory class until you’re on the verge of graduation just because you’re scared of the professor responsible for it.”

At that, Sakura felt the familiar heat rushing up her neck, making her face flush. Her eyebrows lowered as she squinted her jade eyes at the man across from her. She just couldn’t fucking believe that man had the audacity to assume she hadn’t taken his class out of _fear_ when in fact it was because she was pretty fucking sure he was severely incompetent as an educator.

And if it that’d been the case and Sakura had been scared, who the _fuck_ did he think he was to believe he had any right to call her out on it? 

“You seem really comfortable making wrong assumptions on other people’s lives,” her voice was low and steady, a tone her friends knew well enough to run away from. “Especially when it’s absolutely none of your business, _Professor_.”

He raised one slender silver eyebrow in response. For a second there Sakura caught a flash of something flashing across Professor Hatake’s face before it returned to the unreadable mask he always showed. Had it been anger? Surprise? 

Regardless, she really didn’t give a fuck at this point. 

Their eyes were still locked together and even though Sakura knew it had only been a few seconds since she had last spoken, it felt like hours had passed. Wasn’t he going to say anything? Did she want to wait around to find out?

Deciding against it, Sakura turned on her heels and marched out of his classroom. She kept her head held high the entire time but only she knew how tight her stomach felt as she let out quick breaths through her nose. It surprised her she hadn’t felt this furious ever since her last days with Sasuke. Her eyes couldn’t truly focus on anything until she pulled open the glass double doors to the Sciences department, the cold temperature outside making her snap out of her daze.

Truth be told, Sakura was truly, completely fucked. She’s never gone through anything like this before but she’d heard tales of how terrible it could be to have a professor on your bad side, especially if they were immature and vindictive. Still, she was glad she’d finally stood up to that man and if she’d been the first one to ever do that, she hoped it’d teach him a lesson.

Anyhow, Sakura was sure she could handle whatever he threw her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop woop, chapter 3!!
> 
> I'm so happy with the response my story's been getting so far, I'd like to thank each and every one of you that left kudos and took the time to comment! a special shoutout to Lovelydays1 for being so so kind and so awesome <3
> 
> hope you guys enjoy <3
> 
> -A


	4. the Rusty Kunai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021

Sakura would be lying if she said she hadn’t been nervous about Professor Hatake’s lecture the following Friday.

Sure, she’d always known she wouldn’t be taking anything shit from Professor Hatake in case he ever decided to target her, but now that it’d happened on the second class they had together Sakura couldn’t help but wonder if she’d dug her own grave. She had no idea what that man was truly like and whether he would be one of those professors who went out of their way to ruin student’s lives. Sakura didn’t want that, she wanted a peaceful last semester that would give her no difficulties with focusing on her thesis. So, no matter how proud Sakura was of herself for standing up to him on Tuesday, she would be lying to herself if she said she hadn’t been biting her nails at what was to come on the following Friday. 

Surprisingly, though, against all odds, absolutely nothing happened. 

Professor Hatake hadn’t even glanced at Sakura during the three hours of his lecture. Not that she would really know since she always had her head down as he spoke, too busy actively listening and writing down notes for everything that came out of his mouth to bother paying attention to such trivial things. Even though she couldn't be one hundred per cent sure whether he'd looked or not, though, at least he didn’t talk to her or anything.

She'd take that as a victory.

Sakura was pretty damn relieved she’d been able to stay put during the fifteen minutes of break, refusing to hide from Professor Hatake as she’d ridiculously done on the past two lectures. She remained sitting on her chair, busying herself with passing a few of her handwritten notes from her other classes into her Quizlet folders on her laptop, and even then he hadn’t confronted her. 

For that, Sakura was extremely thankful. Maybe she’d be able to get the peaceful semester she’d been striving for after all.

It was in that hopeful mindset that Sakura made her way to the small restaurant across the street from campus. Her friends and she had been going to Ichiraku’s for lunch almost every single day ever since their first semester of university, and the tradition never once wavered throughout the years. Was it extremely unhealthy? Perhaps. It’d never stopped them before, though.

As she walked into the establishment and the little bell on top of the front door announced her entrance, she noticed a few of her friends had already arrived and was definitely not surprised to see Naruto already downing his second bowl of ramen. The blond was just so obscenely obsessed with them that Teuchi-san had actually named one of the dishes in his honour.

“You have soy sauce on your chin,” Sakura informed her friend as she sat down on the bench across from him.

“For fuck’s sake, Naruto.” Shikamaru side-eyed his blond friend as a drop of soy sauce landed on the back on his hand.

Naruto slurped his noodles and pointed his chopsticks in Shika’s direction.

“You’re grumpy because you’re hungry.”

“No, I’m pissed because you spill ramen on everything on a ten-meters radius around you.”

Sakura giggled as she wiggled out of her coat and laid it on the space next to her at the bench. Naruto was a hell of a messy eater, and there was absolutely no changing that.

“Ok, what are you having?” she asked Shikamaru. Sakura knew Shika well enough to know he hadn’t gotten up from his comfortable place on the bench to order his lunch for himself. On the same note, he knew Sakura well enough to know she would order for him as soon as she arrived.

And indeed, soon enough Sakura was making her way to the counter, smiling brightly at Ayame before ordering both her and Shika’s lunches. As Sakura made her way back and sat down on her side of the bench, she checked her watch to see how much time she had left before her appointment.

“I thought you didn’t have any more classes today, Sakura-chan,” Naruto said with his mouth full.

“Naruto, you’re twenty-two years old.” Sakura wrinkled her nose at him. “Don’t speak when you’re chewing.”

Shikamaru snorted as Naruto scowled.

“Fine, don’t answer me,” he mumbled.

“No, you’re right. I don’t have any more classes.” She turned to stare over her shoulder as the bell announced the door opening just to see it wasn’t anyone they knew. “I have an appointment with my student advisor to find out who’s my thesis supervisor.”

“That reminds me.” Shika raised one eyebrow as he stared at Sakura from across the table. “How’d it go?”

“Surprisingly well. He ignored me completely.”

“Who ignored you?” Naruto raised his eyebrows, the noises he made as he slurped his ramen nearly driving Sakura insane. You’d think after ten years of dealing with it she’d be completely immune to his table manners, but apparently there was no getting used to it.

“Hm.” Shikamaru leaned over the table, his hands clasped together on the wooden surface as he completely ignored Naruto. “Interesting.”

“Professor Hatake, Naruto,” Sakura answered his questioning gaze. “I stood up to him on Tuesday and was nervous if he’d do anything today but he didn’t.”

“Wait, for real?” Naruto dropped his chopsticks as he gaped at Sakura. “What’d you say?”

By the time she finished filling him in on the situation, Ayame had come around bringing their food and Sakura’s ramen was well on its way of getting cold.

“‘ _You’re wrong to assume I was scared of you, Professor_ ’,” he inaccurately quoted her as he laughed, his hand resting on his own belly. “‘ _Also, none of your business_ ’! Gotta give it to you, Sakura-chan, that took some serious balls.”

“Yeah, well,” Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she finally broke her chopsticks to start eating. “I’d rather not think about it, though, I just hope it’s all over. It’s not like I have time or patience to handle a petty feud with a teacher when I’m just about to graduate.”

The conversation then shifted to Naruto’s ideas for his own thesis—or lack thereof. They spent the next fifteen minutes trying to brainstorm something cool for Naruto to write about, and when Hinata and Sai joined them at the restaurant they didn’t hesitate in throwing in their efforts too. About half an hour later, Sakura excused herself after finishing her own bowl of ramen since she had ten minutes to spare until her appointment, and Sakura always preferred to leave soon enough that she'd have a comfortable time-frame to make her way to the Administrative building without hurrying.

The stroll across campus was as pleasant as it could possibly be during Winter, which wasn’t much. Sakura truly despised the cold and hated the fact that no matter how many layers she put on she just never seemed to get _warm_ without the sun actually doing what it was supposed to do. Cloudless winter days like that afternoon were Sakura’s personal worst since the feeling of waking up to the image of a gorgeous day only to be mercifully whipped in the face by the cold wind just seemed especially cruel. 

Thankfully it didn’t take her long to reach the main square on campus and take the course that would take her to the Administrative building’s door. Shizune’s office was on the third floor and after one excruciatingly slow elevator ride, Sakura found herself knocking on the right door two minutes before she was due to arrive.

“Come on in!”

Sakura pushed the door open and made her way inside, taking in the pleasant environment of Shizune’s office as she went. There were a few potted plants positioned on the windowsill, and the curtains were drawn back to let the winter sunshine in. Her medical degree hung on the wall to their left and Sakura could count multiple honorary certificates also tidily displayed. Every single time she walked into that office she felt the urge to know how Shizune had ended up at Konoha University but she’d had never had the guts to actually ask.

“Ah, Sakura!” Shizune smiled politely at her from her chair. “How is your very last semester going?”

Sitting down on the chair in front of the short-haired woman’s spotless desk, Sakura flashed her an eye-crinkling smile in return.

“As well as it could possibly go.”

Shizune seemed to be satisfied with that answer and gave her another smile before started to type away on her computer. Sakura hadn’t even removed her coat before sitting down, hoping for a quick meeting that would allow her to go home soon. She was on closing up duty that night at the bar and was desperate to get a few hours of sleep before her shift, knowing she’d only be arriving back home at around 5:30 am.

“Well, Sakura, there’s not much for us to do today, huh?” Shizune studied the screen of her computer. “Unless you’re having trouble with any of the courses, I can just inform you of your thesis supervisor and you’re free to go.”

For a second, Sakura considered just going ahead and saying it. Saying she was stuck with a sociopath as her advanced human physiology professor who had absolutely no regards for his students. She decided against it, though. Sakura knew for a fact Professor Hatake had earned multiple complaints over the years and for some reason none of them had affected his place at the docent staff. Also, there was also a tiny little voice in her head reminding her he wasn’t actually incompetent when it came to teaching, as she used to believe. In fact, she was certain he was the most captivating and well-spoken professor she’d ever head, even if she was one of the few who had no issues actually keeping up with him and being able to appreciate his didactic. 

He was _really_ just an asshole. 

Also, considering how he completely ignored her that morning in class she was more than willing to accept the olive branch and just steer clear of each other’s path from now on. At least that’s how she was choosing to interpret from what’d happened.

“It’s all going well.” was what she settled for, offering Shizune a warm smile.

“How are you juggling up macroscopic anatomy with the other courses? Do you regret leaving that one to the end?”

Sakura really did appreciate Shizune’s concern, but she was in absolutely no mood to discuss any of that.

“It’s fine, really. Professor Yamato is great.”

“Well, that’s great.” Shizune took a sip from her cup of tea. “If you’re not having any trouble, then, you’ll hopefully have no issues with your assigned thesis supervisor.”

Sakura furrowed her brows at that, her eyes following the trajectory of Shizune’s mug as she placed it back on her desk before carrying on.

“You see, after Professor Hayate fell ill we were forced to rearrange the students he would have been responsible for between the available faculty.” Shizune interlaced her fingers together. “We put you under the care of Professor Hatake. You’re the best student in the Sciences department by far, and it made sense to the board that you get the toughest professor who’s going to push you and your work to the limit. Honestly, if anyone can handle him, that person is you.”

Sakura had barely heard a single word after ‘Professor Hatake’. She knew her eyes had widened and her eyebrows were now raised high as she processed what that meant.

“Anything wrong?” Shizune raised her own eyebrows.

“Does he know he’s supervising me?” the words left Sakura's mouth before she'd even processed them.

The brunette seemed to be taken aback by Sakura’s question.

“He was informed yesterday. Didn’t have any complaints. Do you?”

He didn’t have any complaints? What the fuck, how did he _not_? Did he not remember her name, did he not realise it was her? If that was the case, Sakura was well on the road to being offended and she for fucking sure would let him know about it.

Forcing herself to be reasonable as Shikamaru’s voice surged in her head—as it always did right before Sakura lost her head over something she shouldn’t—she realised maybe _that_ was why Professor Hatake hadn’t confronted her earlier in his class. Maybe it had really been a declaration of peace between them, as she’d suspected, since being bound to have multiple one-on-one meetings throughout the months to come seemed like a valid enough reason for them to make some efforts to not hate each other.

“No. No, no complaints." Sakura shook her head. "Just surprised.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I just didn’t take him for a thesis supervisor kind of professor.” Sakura let out a chuckle. “Seems to lack the patience for it.”

Shizune softly giggled at that.

“Well, you’re right, actually. It’s the first time he’s doing it. But, as I said before if anyone can handle him that person is you.”

All Sakura could do was nod, hoping Shizune was right. If that man cost her her thesis, there would be hell to let loose.

.

.

.

“Fuck, it feels _great_ to be here.”

Kakashi hummed as he kept his eyes on the badly lit sidewalk stretched before Genma and him. The cold evening was just cold enough that their breath materialised in front of them as they spoke.

“Why the long face?” The brunet rearranged his dark blue beanie. “Not happy to see me, asshole?”

“Your stupid beanie pisses me off.”

Genma smirked.

“The bandana isn’t fit for the cold, dude, you know that.”

“The bandana is a thousand times worse, Genma.”

Truth be told, Kakashi gave zero fucks at whatever Genma decided to wear on his stupid head. He loved his old friend to pieces but Kakashi would be lying if he said seeing him under those circumstances didn’t leave a sour taste in his mouth. It was just that it became all too easy to remember what it felt like to be back to Konoha for a few weeks, taking a break from the craziness of the life in the forces. 

Kakashi knew all too well what Genma was feeling right then, that desire to walk around those same old streets with his home friends, grateful for a few peaceful days in which all he wanted to do was get drunk and get laid. Just as well, he remembered what it felt like to be back to camp afterwards. Being back to the same old routine with the closest friends Kakashi had ever had his entire life, the ones he’d trusted more than anything in the whole world.

The ones he’d failed to protect with his own life.

Seeing Genma when he came back for his vacations just brought it all back. It made Kakashi relive every second of his last months in the army eight long years before. 

It reminded him of everyone he’d lost.

Regardless, Kakashi knew that well-familiar lump in his throat wouldn't be there for long. Genma was too much of a good friend—and great company—for Kakashi to not be happy to have him around for a few months.

“I can’t believe it’s been two years since I’ve last been there.” Genma warmed his hands against one another since the idiot forgot to wear his gloves. “I hope they still serve that burger.”

“There _are_ other bars in Konoha, you know. I don’t know why you guys insist on hanging out in the only one filled with students.”

Genma smirked at him.

“Mah, Bakashi, have you finally lost it? Do you honestly think I’d be back to Konoha after two damn years and _not_ spend my evening surrounded by university girls? Also, the day someone recreates the Rusty Kunai burger you let me know. That shit is a piece of art.”

Kakashi shook his head, a chuckle leaving his lips before he could stop it. Around ten more minutes passed before the two friends reached the Rusty Kunai and the sudden heat inside the bar hit him like a wave as he made his way inside with Genma close behind him. His jacket was off and the long sleeves of his black shirt were pulled up to his forearms long before he even reached their booth. 

Friday night had always been the busiest one and the crowd of young students made Kakashi groan as he pushed his way through. The bar’s rustic decoration had never truly changed over the course of the years, the only new additions being some pictures on the walls of broken drinking records and a few gigs performed in there recently which Kakashi hadn’t really paid any attention to at New Year’s. 

Kakashi couldn’t help but grin as he caught sight of his friends sitting on the booth close to the counter, the same one they used to claim as their own back on their uni days. They all cheered as they caught sight of Genma, and Kakashi’s grin didn’t falter as they all got off of their seats and pulled the friend they'd missed so much into happy embraces.

“How come you still look like a 28-year-old?” Asuma jokingly punched Genma’s shoulder.

“It’s that ugly beard of yours that makes you look old.”

Kakashi, Kurenai, and Tenzou burst into laughter at Asuma’s outraged expression.

“ _Hey_ , my wife likes it.”

“I’ll believe it when I hear it from her, mate.”

They all kept on laughing, stupid and loose grins splattered on their faces as they sat back down in the booth. Kakashi took the place on the edge while Genma took the one in the middle and Tenzou sat on the far corner lined to the wall. Across from them, Asuma and Kurenai sat on the other three-person bench.

“Is Gai coming or not?” Tenzou asked, nodding at the empty spot on the other side of the table.

“Does he still have that bowl cut?” Genma inquired before anyone could answer.

“You’ve known him for over twenty years and you _still_ need to ask that?” Kurenai raised one eyebrow. “Yeah, he’s coming. He’ll be late, though.”

“ _Great_ , I miss that guy. Now, Bakashi, go get us some drinks.” Genma poked Kakashi in the ribs, earning an annoyed glare from him. “What? It’s your own damn fault for sitting on the edge.”

How fucking _great_ it felt to have his own line turned around on him. Still, Kakashi didn’t argue and did a quick check-up just to check who’d be needing drinks. Asuma, Kurenai, and Tenzou already had drinks in their hands, leaving only him and Genma behind. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll be right back.” Kakashi stood up and raised his hands in defeat right before offering Genma his left hand.

“You’re fucking joking.”

“Far from it.” 

An impressive and exceedingly filthy amount of curses left Genma’s lips as he fished his wallet from his jeans’ pockets and handed Kakashi a $10. Kakashi turned around and walked away to the sound of his friends snickering and saying something that sounded suspiciously too close to ‘shameless fucker’ for it to be anything else. 

The counter was only a few steps away from their booth and Kakashi was thankful the horde of students wasn’t blocking his way to it. The bartender stand was located at the far end of the Rusty Kunai with a long wooden counter separating the workers from the clients. An impressive number of bottles of alcohol lined the back wall from one end to the other, and identical pint taps were located on the bartenders’ side of the counter.

Kakashi counted two male bartenders when he reached the counter and noted both were already busy standing a few steps away and tending to clients that had reached them before him. He was a patient man, though. He never minded waiting.

Turning his head back, Kakashi caught sight of a young waitress standing by their booth. He could see Genma smirking up at her with a toothpick now expertedly placed between his teeth. Chuckling to himself, Kakashi could only hope his friend would remember to also order a burger for him. The Rusty Kunai’s burger was indeed one of the most delicious things Kakashi had ever eaten in his life and just then he’d realised it’d been way too fucking long since he had it last. Making a quick math in his head, Kakashi couldn’t help but swear under his breath as the number fifteen popped into his head.

As if Kakashi needed to be reminded it’d been _fifteen fucking years_ since he’d finished his masters and left for the army.

“Sorry, we’re super busy tonight. Just give me a second and I’ll take your order,” said a voice he instantly recognised from behind the counter, making Kakashi turn his head back around to stare at its owner.

Had she been looking at him and not immersed in what she was doing, Haruno would have seen Kakashi’s smirk at realised she was indeed working that night. She was now standing close to one of her coworkers as she put her long, silky pink hair up in a ponytail, and Kakashi kept on staring as she turned to the sink and started washing her hands, laughing at something the tall, brown-haired bartender said as he prepared an intricate drink to a young girl.

Had she seen it was Kakashi standing by the counter before she approached him? He highly doubted it.

She made her way back to the right end of the counter where Kakashi stood, now with a blue cloth clutched in her hands. Haruno started quickly wiping the wooden surface, not once looking up at him. Staying rooted to his spot, Kakashi leaned into the counter as he patiently waited for her to notice him. 

“Hey, can you move your arm?” Haruno looked up at him as his forearm blocked the spot she was going to clean next. The way her dazzling jade eyes widened as they met his own proved him right. She really hadn’t seen him.

Kakashi did not move his arm.

“Two pints. Please.”

He watched as Haruno blinked two times before being able to move her eyes away and move. She put down the cloth on the counter much too close to the edge, her mind clearly elsewhere, and turned around to get his order ready. Kakashi couldn’t help but notice the contrast between her pitch-black tank top and her fair skin as her ponytail left her back exposed. His eyes then caught on the blue fabric as it slid off the wooden surface torturously slow, inch by inch, and he did nothing to stop it as it fell to the floor on Sakura's side of the counter.

All in all, Kakashi would be lying if he said he hadn’t looked forward to going back to the Rusty Kunai on that particular evening. The past two weeks had been a whirlwind of realisations as he came to find out the pink-haired bartender he’d noticed at New Year’s not only ran uncontrolled through hallways while holding staining beverages in her hands, but she was also his student for that semester. Of course he didn’t particularly object to the idea of going to the bar after Genma brought it up, _especially_ after the way Haruno had lashed out at him on Tuesday. After witnessing her pathetic way of avoiding him on the first day of class—Kakashi had spent the entire fifteen minutes trying to convince himself it just wasn't possible that she was really faking a phone call only to avoid confrontation—he never would have expected to see such fury in her eyes after he pushed just one small, simple button.

Her reaction had amused the shit out of him, spiking his curiosity as nothing had for _years_. He’d walked out of that auditorium on Tuesday wondering whether it was possible that Haruno did have some cards up her sleeve after all. Maybe he'd judged her far too quickly.

He just couldn’t help but feel intrigued by Haruno Sakura.

Kakashi focused back on the present time as he found Haruno to be really efficient behind the counter. He hadn’t really paid that much attention on New Year’s and he couldn’t help but be impressed as she grabbed two empty pint glasses and turned back around in his direction to fill them up from the tap with practised ease.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for a bartender,” he noted after she placed the two full glasses on the counter in front of him.

Haruno bent down to pick up the cloth from the floor and stuffed it into the back pocket of her skinny jeans before glancing back up at Kakashi, their eyes locking together.

“It pays well.” Her eyes momentarily looked away at a group of overly rowdy frat boys before making their way back to meet his. “Those will be $6,8.”

He hummed in amusement as he handed her the folded $10 bill Genma had given him and opened his hand, waiting for her to give him his change back. She didn’t say anything at his refusal to tip her, but it was ridiculously easy for him to see the incredulity stamped in her face. He fought against showing any part of the amusement he felt at her blatant rage as she counted the five coins consisting of his change and harshly put them on the counter, ignoring his opened hand and forcing him to pick each one of them up himself.

“After last Tuesday, I believe we’re even now,” Kakashi said after slipping the coins into his pocket.

He grabbed the two pints and turned around, smirking as soon as his face was out of her sight. It never failed to amuse him how easy it was to make her blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been looking forward like CRAZY to this one!!! now the real story actually begins—multiple one-on-one sessions for those two for the next months....... wonder how that'll play out ;)
> 
> personally, I've become such a huge fan of bartender Sakura. also, I'm so happy I finally managed to slither Genma in here. I absolutely love him to pieces and couldn't possibly leave him out of this!
> 
> once again, I'd like to thank every single one of you who left kudos and wrote a review, I love reading all of them!!! it makes me so happy to see my story has been receiving such a positive response, it's beyond any expectations I had when I first got the courage to start this.
> 
> hope you guys enjoy and have an amazing day! <3 x
> 
> -A


	5. anticipation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021

Sakura glanced at her watch for the billionth time, sighing as she realised it was exactly four in the morning. There were thirty minutes left until closing time, and it was around time to announce the last call to the twenty people who were still in there.

Unfortunately, though, Professor Hatake was one of those people. Surprisingly, his table of six was still going strong. Even though Sakura had avoided even glancing in the direction of that booth the entire night, for obvious reasons, she couldn’t stop herself from overhearing Professor Yamato’s drunken slurs as the night went on. She had spent hours suppressing giggles during her entire shift but from what she could hear at the moment he did appear to be significantly more sober.

If Sakura was being honest with herself, though, the biggest revelation of the evening had been the fact that Professor Yamato and Professor Hatake were _friends_. Never in a billion years would she have imagined that being possible. It just seemed completely surreal that such a nice person as Professor Yamato, who’d tipped her really well on New Year’s, would be friends with an unbelievable asshole like Professor Hatake.

The fact that had the audacity of suggesting she’d been the rude one after Tuesday’s class was simply absurd for her when he’d been the one to insult her out of nowhere when she was doing the polite thing and apologising to him.

And now, to top it all off, the man used her ‘behaviour’ to justify not tipping her.

What a _fucking_ asshole.

“Today was insane.” Sakura leaned against the counter, watching Kiba as he started to write down the stuff in the bar that needed to be restocked and replenished.

“Completely insane. Did you hear someone threw up in the bathroom?”

“Yikes." She shook her head. "At least we don’t have to clean it.”

He flashed her a grin. 

“Hell yeah for that. I hate having to do this shit, though.” He waved the notepad in his hand.

 _Yes_ , Sakura thought to herself. Apparently, it’d be more than easy to convince him to switch duties and do the last call rounds in her place.

“I don’t mind.” Sakura raised her hand to get the notepad for herself. “Let me do it.”

“Nu-uh.” Kiba raised his hand in the direction farthest from her. “I’d rather check the supplies than clean up behind our counter.”

Sakura pouted and put both hands on her hips. It was time to resort to Plan B.

“I should really get started on that, then." She sighed. "Would you mind announcing the last call?”

“Actually, yeah, I’d mind. The only chick left in here was my immunology professor a few semesters ago, so...”

She followed his sight as he nodded toward Professor Hatake’s table.

“Well, I’ve got _two_ professors on that table!" Sakura turned her head back at him, her eyes widening. "Just do it for me, I’ll owe you one.”

“Sorry, Sakura.” Kiba shook his head. “You already owe me from that time with the spider. This is me calling that favour back.”

Sakura groaned, already turning around and giving up. Indeed, a few months before she had found a huge spider beneath her bathroom cabinet and Kiba had gotten his weird-ass friend with the weird-ass sunglasses to remove it. She did owe him one.

She exited the counter from the side farthest away from the professors’ booth and made a beeline to the closest table filled with frat boys drunk out of their minds. Almost fifteen minutes later, though, there was nothing else she could possibly do to avoid it anymore. She’d already prepared and served the last four drinks the other costumers had ordered, taking as much time as she possibly could to see whether the group decided to leave on their own.

They didn’t.

Of course, she could just wait fifteen more minutes until the bar closed and they’d be _forced_ to leave. Sakura decided against it, though, as it wouldn’t be professional of her to ask everyone else in the room whether they wanted last drinks or not and just completely neglect that particular table. Realising it was no good to keep avoiding it, Sakura sighed as she turned in the direction of the booth she’d been trying to avoid with all of her strength. 

Her breath hitched as she raised her head and caught Professor Hatake watching her from his place on the edge of his bench. He immediately averted his eyes to face the guy sitting across from him but she knew what she’d seen. As she made her way to their booth, Sakura tried to reason with herself over it. There was no reason for him to me watching her, absolutely none whatsoever. Maybe he’d been lost in thought and just happened to be looking in her direction before snapping out of it.

That was what she kept repeating to herself like a mantra as she reached their table, fighting against the heat climbing up to her face.

“Sorry to interrupt.” She shot the guy with a bowl-cut an apologetic smile as he looked at her with surprise. “We’re closing in fifteen minutes, do you guys want anything else?”

“Does your number count?” The attractive guy with shoulder-length hair and a toothpick between his teeth shot her a seductive grin from his place between Professor Hatake and Professor Yamato.

“Genma, _no_!” Professor Yamato looked absolutely mortified as he reprimanded his friend. 

"What?" Genma chuckled, his grin turning into something more wolfish-like as he looked up at her. "She's not _my_ student."

Sakura couldn’t help but glance at Professor Hatake before she could answer. His face was always nearly impossible for her to decipher but of one thing she was certain: it was quite clear he was not in the least amused by his friend’s advances.

“I meant anything from the bar.” Sakura leaned her head slightly to the side as she smiled, one hand grabbing her other wrist behind her back.

After a year working behind the counter at the Rusty Kunai, Sakura was more than used to dealing with guys hitting on her. In fact, she’d received so many pick-up lines over the time that they didn’t even faze her anymore. It took a _lot_ to make Sakura blush these days.

“I’d actually like another Johnnie Walker Black neat, please,” said the bearded man standing on the corner of the booth across from Professor Yamato, who Sakura was pretty sure was Shika’s favourite professor Asuma.

“Make it two,” Professor Hatake said, his eyes trained on his finger as it traced the rim of the empty glass in front of him.

“Hell, make it three,” Genma smirked at her, clearly unfazed by her refusal to give him her number.

“I’d lik…” Professor Yamato started but was interrupted as everyone on the booth told him he had had more than enough for the night.

Sakura nodded with a smile and made her way back to the counter, wasting no time before grabbing three old-fashioned glasses and putting the appropriate amount of whisky inside each. Lastly, she grabbed an average-sized cup and filled it with tap water and ice. She put the four drinks on a tray and carried it the few steps to their booth.

As she served the glasses and handed the tap water to Professor Yamato, he gave her an embarrassed smile.

“From Monday on, can we keep pretending you’ve never seen me drunk?”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s forgotten.” Sakura giggled, knowing full well he’d been _way_ drunker at New Year’s than he was just then. “So, those three Johnnie Walkers will be $4,8. You guys can just leave the money on the table before you leave, I’ll have to pick up the glasses anyway.”

She started to excuse herself before the only woman in the table, apparently Kiba’s former immunology professor, stopped her.

“So, you’re the legend who aced Kakashi’s test, huh.”

Sakura furrowed her brows. Who the hell was Kakashi? Was that Professor Yamato’s first name?

“Sorry, I don’t…”

“She means the quiz last week,” Professor Yamato explained as he grabbed his cup. “You can go, Miss Haruno, it’s not relevant.”

“Oh, sure.” She wrapped one hand around her other upper arm. “But that was just a written quiz, it was pretty easy.”

The bearded man and Genma fell into booming laughter while Professor Yamato slightly choked on his water and the guy with the bowl-cut looked at her with nothing but indignation.

“Did you just call Kakashi’s test _easy_?” 

He opened his mouth to go on but the woman sitting next to him placed a hand on his forearm, an amused smile on her lips.

“Gai, relax.” She then raised her head to stare at Sakura. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re the first person to ever accomplish that, I’m sure you’re aware of Kakashi’s reputation.”

Sakura’s brows furrowed again. She wasn’t aware Professor Yamato had any reputation, especially not when compared to...

And it was then that it hit her. 

Her eyes moved to Professor Hatake— _Kakashi_ , apparently—who was staring icily at his friends. Had she seriously aced one of the infamous Professor Hatake tests, the ones no one had scored over 71 in _seven years_? 

“Well, _now_ I’d say we’re even.” Sakura flashed the silver-haired man a cheery smile as he looked up at her with a sharply raised eyebrow. “Get home safe, you guys.”

She turned around and slipped back behind the counter before anyone could say anything else.

He'd fucking better tip her this time.

.

.

.

“I always assumed the whole point of these monthly dinners and drinking things would be that the host would actually cook.”

Kakashi shot Genma a bored look across the island on his kitchen.

“I’m paying for everyone’s food. _And_ for the alcohol. Do I look like I’m gonna cook a meal for six people?”

“It’s all good, though.” Asuma grabbed another slice of pizza. “Every four months we know we’ll have a proper delivered meal to enjoy.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes as his friends continued on their completely unreasonable rampage. It was Saturday night and the six of them were sitting around the dark granite island on the kitchen of Kakashi’s studio, with several boxes of pizza and bottles of beer scattered on the counter. 

Every month a similar session occurred, each time hosted by a different member of their group. The best food was always served at Asuma and Kurenai’s, thanks to their joined efforts to always cook amazing meals, and Tenzou's cooking skills didn't fall short behind. Gai’s could always be described as _interesting_ , for lack of a better term. Kakashi didn’t have the cooking skills to prepare something for six people, though. He always made sure to order from different places each time to ensure diversity, but that was as far as he would ever be willing to go.

Pakkun was staring up at him from the floor with begging eyes, naturally making Kakashi cut a piece of his own pizza crust before bending down and giving it to his buddy. The pug walked away immediately after, clearly making his way to Kakashi’s king-sized bed on the other side of the studio.

“So, Genma, how’s the slumber party going?” Tenzou asked after taking a sip of his beer.

“Kakashi still has those porn books on his shelves, so it’s going great," Genma smirked. "I might get myself a hotel room for some nights, though. I’d forgotten how stupid his rules can be sometimes.”

“Ungrateful bastard.” Kakashi shot his friend an unimpressed look. “It’s not porn, it’s art.”

“Oh, this will be good.” Asuma chuckled, ignoring Kakashi's protest. “What rules, Genma?”

“I can’t bring girls here.” He scoffed. “What the actual _fuck_ , right?”

“Ok, first of all, you’re sleeping on my couch." Kakashi defended himself. "This is a fucking studio, the only privacy you’d have is inside the bathroom. Second of all, _I_ don’t bring women here, never have, why the fuck would I let you bring yours?”

“You’ve never brought women here?” Gai wiped his hands on his napkin after finishing a slice. “How come, Kakashi?”

“When I’m at their place I know I'll be quick to leave. If I let them come here it'd be a bit more shitty having to kick them out.”

“I forget you’re that big of an asshole sometimes.” Kurenai rolled her eyes as she raised her beer to her mouth. 

“Hey, not fair. I’m always perfectly clear with what they can expect of me before anything happens. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to stay and cuddle.”

“I can’t _wait_ until your time comes and you get hooked on a girl. That’ll teach you a few very needed lessons.”

Kakashi took a sip of his own beer, actively choosing to not engage.

“On that note,” Kurenai continued, putting a hand on Asuma’s forearm to stop him from speaking as he opened his mouth to change the subject. “I know a girl I think you’ll like.”

“ _That_ I’d like to see.” Tenzou raised his eyebrows.

“Kurenai…” Kakashi groaned almost painfully.

“No, no, really. She’s in her late 20s, blonde hair. She’s a yoga instructor! Just take her out once, meet her!”

“Kakashi, my friend, don’t try to pretend you wouldn’t be interested in a _yoga instructor_ ,” Gai pointed out.

“For the billionth time, I don’t date." Kakashi reached out for his beer. "Just no.”

“Ok, yeah, we get that,” Asuma said before his wife could continue trying to convince Kakashi. “Also, blind dates are just really weird. How the hell do you know if you have chemistry with someone if you’ve never even seen them?” 

“Hm, not chemistry.” Genma shook his head. “Attraction.”

“Why, is there a difference?” Gai turned to stare at Genma, who was sitting next to him.

“Well, you can go on dates and fuck anyone you’re attracted to. Like, there's no mystery to it.” Genma shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “But that’s not chemistry. You can be attracted to someone and not have that _thing_ with them. It’s completely different, you just instantly know when you have it with someone.”

“Yeah, I’m with Genma on this one.” Tenzou grabbed a new slice of pizza. “It just hits different.”

Kakashi furrowed his brows. Thinking back, he’d never truly felt anything particularly special with any girl he’d been with. It was always pretty straightforward, they’d both be interested and just decide to take it somewhere more private.

What the hell did Tenzou mean with it hit different?

Before Kakashi could even process what was happening, the memory of how his hand had just _fit_ on the dip of Haruno’s waist even though she’d been wearing a winter coat when she'd collided against him came rushing back to his mind before he could even process it. There was also little resisting he could do against the inevitable memory of that fucking _weird_ lingering feeling that stayed on his hand and arm after they pulled away from each other, which he’d been doing his best to not think about since it’d happened.

The direction his thoughts were taking was not reassuring at all to Kakashi, even though he wasn’t quite sure what they were actually about. As a guy who’d always appreciated his ability to keep a tight rein on his thoughts, losing that control for even one second wasn’t someone to be taken lightly.

“No, absolutely _not_ , you’ve watched it wrong.” Kakashi heard Genma raising a hand in response to something Gai had been saying. “You can’t possibly take that pile of _shit_ of a movie and say it’s one of the best ever produced. Just no.”

Kakashi gladly focused his attention on whatever topic their friends had moved on to, wasting no time in pushing the troublesome thoughts that had jumped uninvited into his mind as far away as possible.

.

.

.

The following week had been a nice change of pace for Kakashi. He _really_ enjoyed having his old friend over, and after so long since it’d last happened, he’d nearly forgotten how much fun Genma was to be around. For that entire week, Kakashi had found himself always looking forward to the end of the day—not that he didn’t _always_ —just so he could go back home and have a few beers with him.

Still, Kakashi was used to having his space all to himself—and Pakkun, of course. The pug’s antisocial personality was well-known by Kakashi’s friends and no one really got offended over the dog’s tendency to disappear as soon as anyone popped up at the studio, especially since he always just kept to himself and ignored the outsiders while sometimes throwing them the occasional stink-eye. Pakkun did _not_ appreciate Genma’s presence in the slightest, though, and always settled on making a point by sulking extra hard in isolated corners of the studio and being as hostile as a tiny little dog could possibly be.

Sure, the day that pug actually liked anyone that wasn’t Kakashi would be the day hell froze over, but his absolute and very particular hatred of Genma was honestly to funny to not be appreciated. Of course, Genma disagreed.

So quickly that Kakashi barely saw it, a week flew by and soon enough it was Friday again. He’d only been ten minutes late to his lecture that morning, which was pretty much the equivalent of being on time in his book. As he made his way into the Sciences building and greeted the empty hallway, though, Kakashi couldn't help but let his mind strand off for a bit—as annoying as it was. 

It was just that his first thesis supervision session with Haruno would be happening on that afternoon and Kakashi would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t been weirdly looking forward to it. He wanted to see for himself whether she was truly as smart as his friends—and her records, which _of course_ he'd checked—had made her seem.

Even after three weeks worth of lectures with her sitting on the very first row, Kakashi hadn’t seen her do anything other than keep her eyes on her notebook as she listened to what he said and took notes, her smooth pink hair always falling like a curtain around her shoulders. How was he supposed to know how clever she was if she wouldn’t even look at him during class, much less actually say anything? To be fair, it wasn’t like Kakashi was particularly keen and open to student participation inside his classroom so he guessed he had no one but himself to blame for that.

On the second half of his lecture on that Friday morning, Kakashi was in the middle of his explanation on the role of hormones in the regulation of plasma potassium, calcium, and glucose concentrations when he noticed Haruno once again absentmindedly scratching the tip of her nose as she took in the words coming out of his mouth, her eyes stuck on her notebook. Kakashi had seen her do that enough times to catalogue the behaviour as something she did every time she concentrated.

As he turned to write a few things on the board—it’s not like he really had an option since Tsunade chewed his ass and handed it back to him after that one brat complained about his refusal to do so on the first lecture of the semester—he couldn’t help but feel his mind wander back to their meeting scheduled to a few hours in the future. Kakashi would be lying to himself if he said the only thing he was looking forward to was proving whether Haruno was truly that smart of not when, in fact, he was also severely anticipating the opportunity to get under her skin again.

As it turned out, all of their past interactions ever since Tuesday of the week before had left Kakashi extremely amused at her anger and irritation towards him. He just couldn’t help but wonder how their one-hour long appointment would go, and how many buttons he’d have to press to see those jade eyes squinting at him once again.

Kakashi dismissed the class about half an hour later, eager to go grab something to eat as he checked his phone and saw Genma’s text saying he was already waiting for him at the entrance to the Sciences building. He slipped his phone back into his trousers’ pocket and sensed Haruno approaching his desk as he slipped on his jacket and shut his messenger bag. Placing its strap over his left shoulder, Kakashi turned to stare at her as he stood up to his full height. 

She was only a few steps away from his table then, the same dark grey winter coat she'd been wearing the day she'd ruined one of his favourite shirts now nicely hugging her curves. Kakashi followed the movement of her fingers as she placed a strand of her pink hair behind her ear, his body stiffening up for a second as his eyes met hers. All he did, though, was stuff both hands inside his trousers' pockets as she came to a stop in front of his desk.

“Our appointment is still happening, right?” she asked, one hand grasped around the strap of her own messenger bag.

Kakashi could see a significant shift in Haruno's attitude when comparing the first two classes of the semester with the most recent ones. Ever since she'd lashed out at him the previous week he saw nothing but confidence and a tiny hint of a challenge in her eyes, which did absolutely nothing but stroke his curiosity as nothing had in _years_.

Ever since the previous Friday, he knew Kurenai had made a _huge_ mistake when she'd opened her big mouth and told Haruno she’d aced one of Kakashi's old tests for macroscopic anatomy. He knew there would be consequences for that, and he’d been right.

Haruno was getting cocky, and as amusing as it was, that just wouldn’t do.

“Is it showing in your schedule?” Kakashi shot her one of his best unimpressed stares.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Then it’s happening. If I’d cancelled you’d know.”

It was pathetically easy for Kakashi to read Haruno’s face, almost as if she made no actual effort whatsoever to hide from him how much of an asshole she found him to be. He would kill to be able to read minds at that moment just so he could take a peek at all the names she was calling him inside her head, and that thought alone was _almost_ enough to make him smile.

“I’ll see you later, then,” was what she settled for before turning around and making her way to the door.

Kakashi watched her back as she walked away, amusement oozing through every ounce of his body.

“Miss Haruno,” he called as she was just about to leave, making her stop and turn back to look at him. “Don’t be late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok please don't kill me guys!!! I know most of you were expecting the first thesis supervision session to happen in this chapter, but I want to give A LOT of emphasis to it (!!!!!!!) and it was just too much to put on this one.
> 
> good news is I'm already halfway done with the next chapter and it won't be long until it's out!
> 
> once again, I want to thank all of you SO MUCH! all of the amazing reviews put a huge smile on my face, it honestly motivates me so much to keep going with it!
> 
> I wish you guys an amazing day and I hope you enjoy this chapter <3 x
> 
> -A


	6. first supervision session

He was late.

Standing in front of the last office on the third floor of the Administrative building, Sakura took another deep breath, willing herself to not lose her shit as she checked her watch and saw it was eighteen minutes past two.

Eighteen minutes after her thesis supervision session was supposed to have started.

Sakura took another look at his name written on the plaque at the door and cursed vehemently in her head. There was no way she wouldn’t complain about this. If Professor Hatake didn’t sit his ass down on his chair and hear her thesis ideas for an entire hour, she would march straight to Shizune’s office—which was conveniently just a few meters away—and unleash hell onto that man’s head.

Sakura was more than done with his shit.

As the sound of the elevator doors opening reached her ears, her head snapped in its direction. Out of it came three people, all of which she recognised from the Rusty Kunai the previous Friday night. The dark-haired woman who had so kindly informed Sakura she'd aced Professor Hatake’s macroscopic anatomy test was surrounded by Genma and Professor Hatake himself, the three of them laughing and talking as if they had all the time in the world. She didn’t know about the other two but Sakura knew that was _not_ the case for Professor Hatake.

They came to a stop by a door up in the corridor and the woman started searching her purse, most likely looking for keys. None of them seemed to notice Sakura’s presence at the far end of the hallway. The fact that Professor Hatake was just _standing_ there, casually keeping both hands deep into his trousers’ pockets with absolutely no regard for the appointment they were supposed to be having irritated Sakura beyond possibility. 

She wanted to throw her shoe at his head.

“No, but seriously though, it’s so fucking _weird_!” Genma fell back into laughter, his back turned to Sakura. “That kid looks just like Gai.”

“I told you so.” A smile formed in Professor Hatake’s lips.

Sakura _knew_ he was aware of her presence down the corridor. Even though he hadn’t looked at her at all since the three of them got out of the elevator, she knew he could spot her through his peripheral vision. Glancing down at her watch again, their meeting should have been going on for 20 minutes then. How fucking _dare_ he?

Was he doing that on purpose? Did he want to drive her fucking insane? Because if so, he was succeeding.

“Don’t bring it up with Gai, though,” the woman said as she finally found the key to her office and unlocked her door. “You’ll never hear the end of it. He basically adopted that kid.”

Sakura couldn’t hear anything else they said as she turned the knob and Genma and the woman walked into the office. Her eyes widened as she saw Professor Hatake lean into the door. Was he _seriously_ going to enter?

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, swearing that if it took him another fucking minute to open his stupid office she’d go to Shizune.

“Maa, you look stressed.”

Sakura’s eyes snapped open and her hand dropped from her face as she found Professor Hatake walking in her direction. His hands were still buried deep in his pockets as he leisurely made his way to her, his messenger bag hanging from his left shoulder as usual. He had an infuriatingly carefree look in his face, and Sakura wanted nothing more than to punch it.

“Seriously?” she couldn’t hide the incredulity from her voice.

“Something wrong?”

By now Professor Hatake had stopped about three steps away from her, forcing her to tilt her head up ever so slightly to look at him.

“‘ _Don’t be late._ ’” Sakura made quotation marks in the air with her fingers before crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest.

“Were you?”

“What? No! Of course, I wasn’t.” she protested. “I’ve been waiting for 22 minutes, _Professor_ ,” she added pointedly, equal parts forced politeness and pointed aggression behind the title. He may be her professor, but no amount of politeness ingrained in her could hold back the amount of anger she felt towards that man.

Professor Hatake hummed, his steady eyes never leaving hers.

“Well, how long do you want to keep standing out here to tell me about it?”

Sakura closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing herself more than ever to not lose her shit. That man was simply impossible to deal with and their session hadn't even started yet, which was clearly not a good sign.

Apparently, though, Professor Hatake took her silence as an answer of its own since Sakura suddenly felt his presence much closer than it had been a second before. The sudden scent of fresh minty shampoo caught her so off guard she felt herself blush before she even opened her eyes. When she did, it was to see him standing right in front of her to unlock his office’s door. The only time they had been that close to one another before had been when he stopped her from falling on their first encounter weeks before—which she had done literally everything she could to forget about. But forgetting it became extremely difficult all of a sudden as she couldn’t help but react to his now coffee-free essence. It was just so _male_ , something she’d never before smelled on any of the boys her age. 

Sakura felt her face burn as Professor Hatake looked curiously down at her before throwing the door open but not moving away. Stubbornly, she raised one eyebrow at him until he scoffed and made his way inside. No amount of faked indifference could have stopped Sakura from hanging outside for a few extra seconds to get her shit together before following him inside, though.

“Door.”

She eyed Professor Hatake as he stood behind his desk on the far end of the rectangular average-sized office. He was busy dropping his messenger bag on the wooden surface and taking off his jacket, not looking in her direction but aware she'd stepped inside. Following his request—which she was one hundred per cent sure he could have shaped in a vastly more polite way—Sakura turned around and closed his office’s door.

Taking advantage of the few seconds it took Professor Hatake to hang his coat behind his chair, she glanced around his office. Everything was immaculately clean and organised. The wall facing his desk was composed of a huge bookshelf full of academic books and Sakura couldn’t help but wonder what his method of choice to organise them was. On top of his desk, other than his messenger bag she could only see the standardised Konoha University desktop and keyboard. The only additional piece of furniture in his office was a black leather couch right underneath the window on the wall opposing the door.

The view from his office was quite nice. While Shizune’s office faced the university’s main square, Professor Hatake’s had no buildings blocking his view of the woods that surrounded the campus—and Konoha, for that matter. It was a decent, perfectly organised office but Sakura frowned at how impersonal it was. There wasn’t a single picture, a single certificate, nothing to show who worked within those four walls.

“Anything on your mind?”

Sakura turned her head back to stare at him. Professor Hatake was now sitting on his chair, leaning back on it casually, and Sakura couldn’t help the intake of air she took as their eyes met.

Had he been watching her the entire time she’d been analysing his office?

“I just think you should be more considerate of other people’s time.” Sakura averted her eyes from his, trying to find literally anything else she could look at.

“What if I told you a black cat crossed my path and I had to take a longer way?”

Sakura raised one eyebrow in response, her eyes locking on his again. She wished nothing more than to be able to go ahead and tell him just where he could stick that stupid excuse.

“Are you gonna sit down or are you planning on standing there all day?” he asked, clearly amused at her refusal to answer him.

Sakura sighed as she pulled back the chair facing him on the other side of his desk. Before taking her seat, she dropped her own messenger bag on the floor next to it and took off her coat. She couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed he’d been busy turning his desktop on as she removed her layer of clothing.

As she felt her own face burn, Sakura decided to just ignore where the hell _that_ had come from.

In order to distract herself from what’d just happened in her mind, Sakura hung her own coat on the back of her chair, sat down, and leaned sideways to get her thesis notebook and a pencil out of her bag. As she laid her items on his desk, she took a quick glance at her watch just to see it was 14:26. She’d better have his full, undivided attention for the next sixty minutes or else she wouldn’t rest until he was disciplined for his shitty supervision.

Was there even such a thing as a disciplinary warning to professors? Well, if he ended this meeting before 15:26 she was bound to find out.

“Have you started thinking of possible subjects?” his question made her move her eyes to meet his across the desk. Once again, Sakura was left with the feeling he’d been watching her for a while before he shook her out of her inner monologues.

“Actually, I’ve already settled on one.” She couldn’t help the surge of pride she felt as his eyebrows shot up on his forehead.

Sakura took his silence as a signal to proceed and started telling him all about why and how she decided to do her bachelor’s thesis on the detection and influence of inflicted UV damage on DNA cells. At each passing second, she expected him to interrupt her or make snarky remarks, but surprisingly he never did. Professor Hatake kept both eyes steadily trained on her and she was sure he was actually paying attention to what she had to say, at least just then.

Truth be told, it was still impossible for her to read his thoughts through his shielded expressions. For all she knew he could just be waiting for her to be done until he could tell her all of her ideas were absolute trash and she’d had to start again. If she was being honest with herself, that was pretty much what she expected to happen.

Still, with each passing minute, Sakura found herself growing more comfortable than she'd ever expected she would be in Professor Hatake’s presence. She wasn’t sure whether it was due to her general enthusiasm for the subject or just how nice it felt to finally be able to speak about that subject to someone who actually cared, but Sakura grew more and more excited the more she delved into her ideas.

And maybe, just _maybe_ , her growing ease could also be a slight consequence of the way he was watching her. Having his eyes on her for so long and with such intensity didn’t intimidate Sakura in the slightest, as she would have expected it to. It made her feel _really_ fucking good with herself. Honestly, fuck it if he didn’t like it in the end. Sakura was damn proud of what she’d gotten so far, and she wouldn’t damper her enthusiasm just for fear of his rejection.

So, she went on.

She talked, and talked, and _talked_ for what felt like hours until she found herself not only simply telling him her thoughts anymore, but also showing him all of her notes, her templates, literally everything she’d made to organise her primary ideas and put it all on paper. As Sakura delved into the possible breakthroughs she could make and how much potential her study had to actually make a difference in Science—“come on, DNA is such a _huge_ part of forensic investigations!”—she couldn’t help but grin with excitement.

As a familiar buzzing sound came from Sakura’s bag on the floor, though, she was brought back to reality. By starting to pay attention to her surroundings other than to the man intently watching her from his chair, Sakura realised the room was now considerably darker than it’d been before. Turning her head to the window with furrowed brows, she felt her mouth drop as she saw the colours of twilight outside. 

Her phone stopped buzzing as Sakura continued to ignore it.

“We do have electricity, you know? It’s fine.”

She turned her head back to stare at Professor Hatake as he spoke for the first time since she started talking. There was an amused smirk playing on his lips as he watched her from behind his desk.

“What time is it?” Sakura’s voice was almost a whisper.

“Hm… Just after five.” He checked his sleeping desktop.

“Seriously? I’m _so_ sorry.” Sakura felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“Why?”

“I completely lost track of time. Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Why would I? I was enjoying it.”

At that, Sakura felt her face grow impossibly warmer as the ability to speak left her body.

Professor Hatake stood up from his seat and made his way to the door. Even though he was behind Sakura then and she didn't turn around to watch him, it didn't take long for the soft click of the light switch reached her ears and for the room to be filled with light. Sakura blinked as her eyes adjusted to the suddenly brighter environment.

“I’ll be honest with you,” he said after making his way back to his seat and sitting down. “I wasn’t expecting this. At all.”

“You do know your role as my supervisor requires being a little bit more specific, right?” Sakura arched her eyebrow at him.

Professor Hatake chuckled, readjusting himself in his chair.

“I mean I didn’t expect you to have already gotten this far with your project, so early. And on your own. It’s impressive.”

Sakura felt her brows furrow. Why the fuck was he so surprised? Was he seriously telling her to her face he hadn’t expected her to be able to achieve as much as she had?

“Well,” Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, “I’d raise my expectations if I were you.”

“Maa, Miss Haruno... Do you always have issues with positive feedback?”

Sakura felt her eyes roll.

“Guess I just wasn’t expecting any coming from you.”

Professor Hatake hummed in amusement, his steady eyes observing her.

“It’s honestly fascinating how quickly your mood changes.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, three minutes ago you were literally bouncing up and down on that chair with a huge smile and now it's like your face can do nothing but frown.”

Sakura opened her mouth to retort but he cut her off, leaning his chair back casually and raising both arms to rest behind his head.

“Also, are you _seriously_ not scared of me anymore?”

“Okay, that’s it.” Sakura scoffed, an incredulous laugh involuntarily leaving her mouth as she shook her head at the sheer ridiculousness of his pretentious behaviour. “I’d really appreciate it if you just gave me your thoughts as my supervisor and let me go.”

“Oh, you’re free to go whenever you want." He shrugged and nodded his chin in the direction of the door. "Our hour officially ended two hours ago.”

“I’m not leaving before I hear my feedback.” Sakura did everything she could to not grit her teeth.

Professor Hatake’s eyes never left hers and it was disgustingly clear to Sakura how much fun he was having with this.

“It’s good.”

Sakura counted three breaths while waiting for him to evolve on that.

“Seriously?" she asked when he did nothing but stare back at her. "That’s all you have to say?”

“Hm, yes.” He lowered his arms back to the sides of his chair. “Until you ask nicely, that’s all you’ll get.”

Sakura knew her face hid none of the incredulity she felt at this absurdity.

“I don’t _have_ to ask nicely. _You’re_ never nice to anyone!” Sakura's hands closed in fists on her lap. “You’re my supervisor, you have to give me my feedback.”

“I already gave it to you. It’s good.”

Sakura closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip with force. How big of a trouble would she get in for throwing her chair at him?

“This is ridiculous.” She opened her eyes and shook her head at him. “You’re seriously asking me to be nice after you pathetically refused to tip me last week?”

“Well, if you wanna go down that road, you do owe me a shirt.”

“I offered to pay for a new one!” Sakura yelled, her eyes widening. “Are you serious?”

Professor Hatake raised one slender eyebrow in response.

For a few more seconds, Sakura kept staring at him in disbelief. After realising he would say absolutely nothing more unless she did what he wanted, she started to collect all of her material from his desk while fuming with anger. He did absolutely nothing as he watched her stuff all of her papers inside her messenger bag and, even though Sakura refused to look at him, she knew he had a smirk splattered on his face.

For the billionth time that afternoon, she wanted nothing more than to punch the shit out of it.

Sakura didn’t even glance at him as she got up from her seat, grabbed both her coat and bag and marched towards his office door. Before leaving, Sakura pressed the light switch with force and saw his office be swallowed by darkness from her peripheral vision. Petty as fuck, sure, but still not nearly enough to quell her anger. She considered slamming the door on her way out but ultimately decided that it would inconvenience him a lot more if she just left it open.

So she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok THERE IT IS! I'm really sorry for how long it took me but I just couldn't seem to get it right and I kept going back to it.
> 
> I know how much you guys have been looking forward to this first session, and I really hope it lives up to your expectations! 
> 
> I just really REALLY love this early stage of getting to know one another and not quite knowing how to deal with what they're feeling?????? I hope you guys bear with me to see how it works out. *wink wink*
> 
> the reeeeeeally good news is I'm already nearly done with chapter 7! I'm trying to stay ahead of my publications, and I quite dropped the ball a few chapters ago. Now I feel like I got my rhythm back, so hopefully, updates will be slightly faster!
> 
> once again, I want to thank each and every one of you who wasted your time to leave a review and left kudos! It warms my heart every single time, thank you thank you thank you!
> 
> hope you guys enjoy, and I'll see you all soon <3 x
> 
> \- A


	7. assumptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021  
> ...  
> ORIGINAL A/N
> 
> guys, HERE IT IS!
> 
> before you read, I'd just like to apologize for taking so long on this one. personal circumstances came up and made it really difficult for me to focus on working on this for the past few days. 
> 
> it is here now, though, and the good news is that it's a longer chapter than usual!
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy <3
> 
> -A

“Ok, should I stick to the beanie or just go with the bandana?”

Kakashi sighed as he bent over to put Pakkun’s full food tray on the floor. He smiled fondly as the pug immediately started devouring it, the cute little noises he made while eating warming Kakashi’s heart.

“Yo, Kakashi!”

He rolled his eyes before turning back to stare at Genma.

“Stick to the beanie, you idiot. It’s fucking cold outside and your big head can't handle it.”

Kakashi smirked as his friend walked over to the bathroom to put on his stupid dark blue beanie. Turning to the fridge, he threw it open and analysed its contents. Genma had bought some really good tortilla wraps from his trip to the grocery store and Kakashi was dying to have more of it that night. As it turned out the trip to the grocery store had proved to be pretty profitable for his friend, though. Genma was just then getting ready to go out on a date with a girl he’d met there—honestly, it baffled him how Genma just seemed to attract women _everywhere_ he went—and no matter how much he enjoyed his friend’s presence, Kakashi would be lying if he said he wasn’t thankful for the alone time.

“Ok, keys?”

Kakashi nodded to the small table next to the front door. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Genma picked up the set of keys and started unlocking the front door. “You want me to bring anything later? I can go by that fast food place or whatever.”

“No, I’m good. I’ll make myself that wrap thing. Have fun and don’t fuck up.”

Genma left Kakashi’s studio with one final smirk and Kakashi took in the emptiness of his flat.

“It’s just the two of us again, buddy,” he said as Pakkun looked up at him from the floor. As a response, the pug laid down on the kitchen floor next to Kakashi’s feet immediately after he'd finished eating.

Kakashi connected his phone to his Bluetooth speaker system and put his music on shuffle. As the sound of the sustaining bass took over his studio, he walked over to his stove and turned it on. He took his time picking out the ingredients for his chicken shawarma wrap and got to work after he was satisfied. The lack of mental effort required to put his meal together meant Kakashi couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the one person he'd been thinking non-stop for the past day.

A chuckle escaped his mouth as he once again replayed Haruno’s petty exit from his office the day before in his mind. At first, when he'd first arrived at their session, her blatant annoyance at him for being late had been a solid promise of a very amusing hour ahead. Of course, he knew all along he was there to fulfil his role as her supervisor and he had truly planned to do so. Still, that didn’t mean Kakashi was going to just give up his source of fun in the name of professionalism.

Regardless of his prior expectations of how the session would go, though, absolutely everything changed as soon as the meeting actually began. If he was being honest with himself, as soon as Haruno started talking about her thesis ideas he simply forgot all about his ultimate goal of irritating her.

Kakashi had been completely caught by surprise.

For starters, she was just so fucking clever. Even though he’d been warned about it by Tenzou and her own academic records, it took Kakashi entirely off guard to witness just how articulate, dedicated, and straight-out _smart_ Haruno was.

And then she just went ahead and let her own guard down. Haruno had fully transitioned from an extremely irritated woman who had been more than eager to get the meeting done and get the fuck out of there to a passionate one whose eyes literally shined the more she delved into her ideas. Getting to know that side of her had been honestly mindblowing to him. Each time she proudly grinned as she explained a thought or laughed at some clever yet shitty pun she’d made, Kakashi had been left with a weird tightening in his chest he’d never felt before.

Honestly, never had he felt so enthralled as he did when watching Haruno for those two hours and forty minutes. For the entire time, Kakashi had been terrified of moving or making any comments on anything she said out of fear that she’d go back to her shell. And, sure enough, that was exactly what had happened as soon as she noticed how much time had passed.

Even though it had been sudden and fairly unexpected, their small argument at the end brought back the familiar amusement he always felt at her quick temper. It was honestly impressive how quickly her mood took a complete 180º turn. He did deem it possible, though, that her explosion at the end could have been a consequence of the vulnerability she might have felt after realising she’d let her guard down way too much for him. But then again, maybe her mood was just that volatile and it had nothing to do with Kakashi at all. 

Maybe someday he'd find out the answer to that.

To be honest, it completely baffled Kakashi how, right then, he hadn’t in the slightest been looking forward to wrapping things up and going home as soon as possible. That was especially surprising since for the first time in that particular week the thought of going home early and start drinking with Genma didn’t even cross his mind at all. Somehow, he was having the time of his life with Haruno and there’d been nowhere else he’d rather be at that moment.

Kakashi groaned as he once again realised his mind had delved back into Haruno without his consent. He didn’t appreciate any of these thoughts in the slightest, and not knowing why they were happening frustrated him even more. 

“For fuck’s sake, Pakkun, what’s wrong with me?” 

Of course, the brown pug had no answers for him other than a flash of his puppy eyes.

.

.

.

“How was your date?”

Sakura couldn’t help but giggle as Shikamaru shot her one of his most annoyed looks.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Huh, let’s agree to disagree.” Sakura jumped from where she sat on the sink counter of his kitchen and grabbed one of the doughnuts she’d brought with her.

“Running into someone by coincidence doesn’t count as a date.”

“Oh, so now you’re gonna pretend you weren’t with her at the Rusty Kunai last night.”

“I _met_ her at the Rusty Kunai last night. By coincidence.”

“Sure, sure, and _then_ she got the guts to call you to have a smoke outside the bar.” Sakura waved the doughnut around impatiently. “I’m asking how _that_ went.”

Shika grabbed a doughnut of his own, completely ignoring Sakura.

“How did your thesis thing go?”

“Oh, no. _Hell_ , no.” Sakura scowled at him. “You’re not escaping my question and I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Hm, then that’s why you were pissed last night.”

“Pissed? I wasn’t pissed. Also, what the fuck were you doing focusing on my temper with _Temari_ there?”

“For fuck’s sake, enough with that,” Shikamaru groaned.

Sakura’s phone started buzzing before she could say anything else, and she pulled it out of her pocket to check it. For some cosmic reason, she wasn’t surprised at all for being called in to substitute Kiba, even though there’d been no way for her to know Akamaru would be sick that night. At least she wouldn’t have to close up since it was Neji’s duty on Saturdays. 

“Great,” she sighed. “I gotta go. You’re going tomorrow, right?”

Shikamaru hummed and started collecting the remaining doughnuts to store them in his refrigerator.

“Who says you get to keep them?” Sakura placed both hands on her hips after putting on her coat.

“I ate Choji’s chips last night after I got home.”

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh at that. Shika’s roommate was a great and funny guy, but he was usually super possessive of his food.

“Ok, well, good luck with that. Tell him I say hey.”

They both said their goodbyes and Sakura was out of Shika’s apartment soon after. Unfortunately, as Sakura made her way back to her apartment to change, the cold air and lack of conversation gave her mind the green signal to go ahead and focus on precisely everything she’d been avoiding for the past twenty-four hours. 

After storming out of Professor Hatake’s office the day before, Sakura had only thought of the possibility of complaining to Shizune after she'd crossed halfway through campus. The thought of turning around and complaining to her student advisor before her office hours ended at 6 pm did linger on Sakura's mind for a few seconds, but figuring she had the weekend ahead of her to decide whether she would actually complain or not, Sakura had decided to just go home and take a nap before her Friday night shift.

Now, Saturday was coming to an end and Sakura still had no idea what to do.

For starters, she knew Professor Hatake had many more remarks about her ideas than those two ridiculous words— _it's good_ , for fuck's sake, she could kill him for that—and she knew he’d end up telling her one way or another. Besides, Sakura was fully confident in her work and knew that even if he did decide to be a complete asshole and refuse to fulfil his role as her supervisor, she’d still manage to make it work on her own.

Why did he _do_ that, though? Why did he enjoy irritating her so much?

And why the fuck did she kind of enjoy it as well?

Shaking her head, Sakura sighed in relief as she spotted her building after turning the corner. She had zero appreciation for the direction her thoughts were taking and wanted nothing more than to put a stop to them. For the next twelve minutes, Sakura managed to successfully adjust her mind into her task-completing mode and got ready for work, and for those blissful minutes not a single thought was dedicated to her advanced human physiology professor.

Her peace of mind was over as soon as she stepped out of her apartment, though. She now had a twenty-five minute walk ahead of her and absolutely _nothing_ to distract herself from the inevitable. Was she actually going to complain to Shizune on Monday? Or… could she just wait until the second supervision session with Professor Hatake? It was scheduled to happen on the first Friday of February, less than two weeks away, and it really didn’t feel like that big of a deal to just wait and see what would happen.

As she continued to silently argue with herself, Sakura knew she’d already made the decision. Still, she continued to pretend she was thinking about it for the sake of her own sanity. She couldn’t quite figure out why she was consciously putting up with his crap—and _looking forward_ to it, for fuck’s sake—, and facing that reality was just way too overwhelming at the moment.

Almost half an hour of incessant thoughts later, a faint fog left Sakura’s mouth as she sighed in relief at the sight of the Rusty Kunai. Thankfully, she’d now have approximately eight hours of peace of mind before going back home at 5 am.

.

.

.

The next Sunday morning brought unexpected snow. Kakashi stood by his studio window staring at the weightless and slow snowfall with a cup of coffee in his hand, appreciating the peacefulness of it to the fullest. Winter had always been his favourite season and the snow would be more than fitting for the day they had ahead of them.

“Kurenai texted.” Genma’s voice drawled from somewhere behind Kakashi. “They’re already there.”

“Are you trying to hurry me?”

“Ha, as if it was possible.”

Kakashi chuckled, finally turning his back to the window to stare at his friend. Genma was sitting on the sofa with his head down, Kakashi’s copy of Icha Icha Paradise open on his lap and his unlocked phone on the cushion next to him. Kakashi could see it was open on their group chat, and as both Kakashi and Genma’s phones vibrated as another text arrived, Genma closed the book and stood up.

“Ok, dipshit, being late to stuff is your thing and all but _I_ still have my morals.”

“Do you, now?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Fuck off.”

Humming in response, Kakashi drank the rest of his coffee while making his way to the kitchen section of his flat to quickly wash and dry his now empty cup, and then had to step over Genma’s opened duffel bag on the floor as he crossed the studio in the direction of his closet. He did strive to always keep his studio clean and organised but Kakashi wasn’t one to pester his friends for them to abide by his own personal ways, even if they were guests at his home.

He made quick work to slip on his jacket., sticking only to it since Kakashi had always had a pretty high tolerance for the cold and didn’t need much to keep himself warm. Smirking as Genma put on his winter coat, his beanie, and _then_ wrapped a scarf around his neck, Kakashi walked over to his bed to give Pakkun a goodbye scratch behind his ears. After his copy of Icha Icha Paradise was safely stored back in its place on Kakashi’s shelves, the two friends left the studio and made their way down the stairs of the building.

Once every three months, ‘special’ events were hosted in Konoha’s city park to celebrate each season. Even though Kakashi had never truly been known for his social skills, he really did appreciate and enjoy those events since they really did always brought out the best in the city and its citizens. For four days of the year, everyone’s priority was to have fun in the open air and appreciate the passage of time, and Kakashi could really see the beauty in that.

“I can’t believe tomorrow is already February,” Genma said as they stepped outside into the sidewalk.

Kakashi closed the building’s door shut behind him and stuffed his hands deep into his jeans’ pockets, making his way to Konoha’s park with Genma by his side.

“Do you know when you’re going back yet?”

“Middle of March.” Genma sighed and a puff of smoke left his mouth as he did so. “It goes by so fucking fast, it's insane.”

Kakashi hummed, not caring to continue that particular topic. He truly liked having his friend over with him and wanted to enjoy his presence as much as he could, not wanting to put an expiration date to it. Besides, he didn’t want to damper his day with the memories that always crept up when similar conversations occurred.

Genma knew Kakashi well enough to not continue the topic either. Instead, they both fell into a companionable silence as they walked through Konoha’s streets, the gentle snow slowly accumulating on Kakashi’s hair and coat as they walked. As it had consistently done for the past week every single time Kakashi got some silent time, his mind unconsciously drifted to Haruno.

Over a week had passed since their first thesis supervision session. It was particularly funny to Kakashi how even though she’d never truly looked up at him while he talked during his lectures, he could see on that particular week she had made a point of making him notice she was actively ignoring him. Haruno hadn’t even reacted as he called out her name on the roll call on both Tuesday and Friday, she had simply stared back with one of her pink eyebrows raised as if daring Kakashi to mark her as absent.

Which of course, he hadn’t.

Kakashi had never been one to make the effort to check whether students who didn’t answer roll calls were actually just distracted but otherwise sitting in the classroom. Yet, he had a rule that if anyone got three absences they were automatically out of his class. There was no way in hell he’d let Haruno go as a result of her own pettiness. Where would the fun be in that?

It did amaze Kakashi, though, that she didn’t complain to Shizune about their session the previous Friday. He had spent the entire week dreading the moment when Tsunade would summon him to her office and demand explanations for the shitty fulfilment of his supervisory role. Kakashi would rather die before admitting he had actually lost hours of sleep that week, tossing and turning in bed while regretting his actions at the end of the meeting. What if he'd crossed the line and Haruno demanded a different supervisor? He wouldn’t blame her at all if it came to that.

Yet, it didn’t. For some unknown reason, she'd kept quiet about it.

And for the life of him, Kakashi had _no_ idea why.

It was with a shock that he saw the familiar trees start to surround him and his friend. He’d been so immersed in his own thoughts he hadn't realised how quickly they'd arrived at the park. The frozen lake was filled with people skating around and there were temporary wooden stands sprawled throughout the entire perimeter. Up the nearest hill—which actually qualified more as a mound, really—there were children sliding down with colourful sliders. It was clear how much everyone was glad it had turned out to snow on that particular day.

“Ok, they said they’re close to the stage.” Genma checked his phone.

Kakashi groaned. Of course, his friends had to pick the one part of the event he absolutely despised. The band always hired by the city hall for those events consisted of a bunch of retired dudes playing random instruments they definitely shouldn’t be playing if skill came to it, and it just didn’t make any sense to Kakashi why the hell they had been hired to every single event for the past decade.

Still, he found himself soon enough parting his way through the small crowd gathered in front of the currently empty stage with Genma close behind him, and thankfully it didn’t take long for them to find the rest of their friends.

“Theeeere they are.” Kurenai opened her arms and pulled Genma into a tight hug while throwing Kakashi a warm smile.

“Why are we here?” Genma asked after greeting Asuma, Gai, and Tenzou. “The stage is still empty.”

“It’s a good meeting spot.” Tenzou shrugged.

“Yeah, the show doesn’t start for a few hours.” Asuma put a cigarette in his lips and lit it. “I vote we go check out the rink first.”

They all agreed—Kakashi gladly so—and made their way down to the frozen lake. Kakashi had always been exceptionally good at ice skating. Truth be told, though, he'd just always been exceptionally good at everything he did, and this was no exception to the rule. 

_That_ meant that for the next hour he had to deal with Gai and his constant contests to settle who was better on the ice skates while their friends watched and skated at their own pace throughout the rink. Gai was always good competition and Kakashi would be lying if he said he didn’t have fun with the series of challenges, though. In the end, he managed to win with a lucky move—which he would never admit hadn’t been on purpose—that made Gai literally scream with delight.

“I could expect nothing more from my eternal rival! Absolutely amazing, Kakashi!”

All Kakashi could do was roll his eyes, having years before accepted he would never be able to put a stop to the insane praises coming from his friend.

A few hours later, the six of them had been out of the rink for a long time. While browsing through the stands, Kakashi had found an adorable blue vest for Pakkun that would match the collar his dog wore around his neck and, of course, Kakashi could do nothing besides buying the hell out of it. Every now and then, Kakashi would absentmindedly smile at the red bag in his hand, picturing how Pakkun would look after putting it on.

He would look fucking _cute_ , that’s what.

A while later, the sound of music started coming from the stage. He knew his friends would want to check it out, and indeed, Tenzou was the first one to point in that direction.

“You guys wanna check out the band?”

Everyone agreed but Kakashi honestly couldn’t handle that and was willing to try anything that might keep him occupied for as long as possible. So, he took a look at the rest of the wooden stands sprawled throughout the park.

“I’m gonna find myself something to drink.” He nudged his head in the general direction of the stand. “Does anyone want anything?”

“Ahhh!” Kurenai grinned. “ _Yes_. I’d kill for a mulled wine.”

It turned out Kurenai was the only one who wanted a drink, which was all the better for Kakashi. After getting money from his friend—“for fuck’s sake, Kakashi, you’re a grown man with your own income”—and promising he’d call to find them as soon as he got the drinks, Kakashi left to venture on his own through the park. It didn’t take long for him to find the drinks stand. Just like the majority of them, it was decorated with fairy lights wrapped around the wooden structure, and even from afar, he could see there was a considerably large line leading up to the counter.

Kakashi didn’t mind, though. As long as it gave him an excuse to stay the fuck away from that stage, there’d be no complaints coming from him. 

Making his way to the end of the line, Kakashi decided he wouldn’t let himself think of her then. He swore that for the entire time he stood on that line, her name wouldn’t even cross his mind. And, for the next five minutes, he did succeed. Kakashi focused his thoughts on literally anything possible, even coming to the sad point of forcing a constant mental monologue with himself just to keep himself busy. For a guy whose mind was always thriving in silence and peace, the constant chatter quickly became exhausting and unwelcome.

And also, on the deep down, he was painfully aware it was completely and utterly useless. It was all beyond weird but Kakashi could _feel_ the depths of his mind just waiting to jump into the forbidden subject as soon as he let go of the efforts to keep it at bay.

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes, barely feeling his own fingers because of the cold from the small flaked of snow still falling from the sky. Right then, there was nothing Kakashi wanted more than for all that crazy shit to end, whatever it all was, and for some reason he knew that wouldn’t be possible just yet.

“Hi, I’m sorry,” said the man standing behind him on the line, making Kakashi drop his hand from his face and turn his head around. “I forgot my wallet with my wife, I need to go grab it. Can you hold my place?”

“Sure, yeah.” Kakashi nodded at the guy, who immediately stepped out of the way. It took Kakashi’s mind about three seconds to register and acknowledge what his eyes saw as the man left the place he'd been standing on.

Haruno had been standing behind the guy the entire time. She had her head down as she typed something on her cell phone, but he would recognize that pink hair anywhere. A red beanie the same colour as her long winter coat sat comfortably on her head and the white of the snowflakes contrasted with her hair and outfit in a way that made Kakashi realise he’d never truly appreciated snow as much as he should have. 

He couldn't help but notice the enormous amount of ice sprawled on the bottom of her coat and on her black pants underneath, clearly a result of her falling while skating on the frozen lake. Of course he didn’t even try to fight against the grin that showed up on his face as he pictured what that scene must’ve been like.

Kakashi couldn’t have looked away even if he’d tried. At the very least he managed to successfully pull his shit together and have a decent expression on his face as she raised her head and found him looking down at her. His body went momentarily still as their eyes met, the way her jade eyes slightly widened in surprise at the sight of him making Kakashi want to groan in absolute dismay—but of course, he didn't. Haruno's nose was slightly red from the cold and the sight made it slightly hard for Kakashi to breathe normally.

Of course, he blamed his sudden and temporary respiratory issues on the dry, cold air as well.

All in all, Haruno looked nothing other than extremely surprised to see him there. Since she hadn’t just punched him or something like that, Kakashi would have to guess she’d been caught so off guard she just forgot all about how angry she actually was at him.

“Did it hurt?” he managed to ask, raising one eyebrow at her.

She furrowed her pink eyebrows at him, clearly clueless at what he was talking about.

“When you fell,” Kakashi added.

He watched in amazement as Haruno’s cheeks burned a bright red, her eyes widening.

“ _What_?"

“It must have been quite a fall down on the rink.” Kakashi pointed at the ice on her clothes.

A sense of pride and amusement filled Kakashi’s chest as Haruno huffed in annoyance and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking away at the people walking to and fro to her left.

“Are you here alone?”

His question made her jade eyes return to him again, a spark of curiosity reflecting on them. Her eyes had always looked dazzling to him, but the outside winter lighting somehow made them look impossibly brighter. How the fuck was that even possible?

“Hm, no." Her pink eyebrows slightly furrowed in her forehead. "I’m with my friends, but they’re getting food. I’m the only one that needed another hot chocolate.”

Kakashi hummed. He wasn’t sure at all of what he was doing or where this conversation would lead them. For the first time, though, he wasn’t quite sure whether he was in the mood to annoy her. At the same time, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was bothering her. It was quite clear how much of an asshole she found him to be, which probably meant she wouldn’t be in the mood to maintain a conversation with him while they waited in line.

Not many seconds had passed since she'd last answered him. Kakashi was almost making up his mind to just turn back around and leave her alone when she slipped her phone into her coat’s pocket and adjusted the beanie in her head nervously.

“Um… What about you?”

Kakashi completely ignored the tightening in his chest that followed the way her eyes glanced away from his just to make their way back. He couldn’t help but wonder if she felt any of the weird shit he did. 

It couldn’t possibly be happening only to him.

“Same, actually. But my friends decided to watch the concert, so I ran away.”

He felt his own eyebrows rise on his forehead as Haruno chuckled, her lips then stretching into a dazzling smile which made him feel an unusual fluttering deep in his gut.

“That’s the first time I heard of anyone willing to watch those guys.” The smile didn’t vanish from her face.

“Finally, someone with senses around here. They suck.”

Her smile slowly vanished from her face as she looked up at him. Kakashi saw she wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hands as she studied him curiously. A few very agonising seconds later—for _him_ —though, Haruno stuffed both hands on the pockets of her red coat and smiled again. Whatever had been on her mind, she had seemed to reach a conclusion for it.

And it was apparently a positive one, for that matter.

“A few years ago, I think it was the Summer thing, I remember the guy with the french horn wasn’t making any sound—” Haruno burst into vivid laughter mid-sentence, making Kakashi smile reflexively—“and there was a pigeon stuck inside it.”

Kakashi hadn’t been there on that day. He had been recently discharged from duty and barely left his then-new studio, but he’d heard about it when it’d happened. He could clearly remember how his friends had told him all about it after the event, laughing like crazy and trying to lift up his mood. It hadn't worked at all back then, but surprisingly Kakashi found himself chuckling as Haruno laughed at the memory. Ever since their supervision season, Kakashi had found out there was something contagious about her smile. He only wished he got to see it more.

They were suddenly interrupted by the guy making his way back to his place on the line. He thanked Kakashi with a smile on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Kakashi waved his hand dismissively as he stepped to the side to look at Haruno and motioned with his head for her to join him at his side.

Her cheeks instantly burned a bright red, which Kakashi decided to ignore for the sake of his own sanity. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing and he wouldn’t let himself think otherwise. Pretty much all of his friends had at least one student they were close enough to go out with, with the exception of Tenzou, and if that wasn’t weird than standing in the drink stands’ with Haruno shouldn’t be either. Still, Kakashi couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed over him as Haruno shyly went around the guy separating them and settled at Kakashi’s side.

No complaints came from the guy, not that Kakashi would have given a fuck if he'd said anything.

“What’s in the bag?”

Kakashi followed the direction her eyes were pointing at and found her staring curiously at the red bag he held in his right hand. When he looked at her again, Haruno was looking up at him with a curious expression, one of her eyebrows raised in her forehead. He gave her an eye-crinkling smile and reached with his left hand to scratch behind his head before he answered.

“It’s just something I bought for my dog.” He brought his arm back down and stuffed his empty hand into his pocket.

“You have a dog?” Both of her eyebrows were now raised up in her forehead.

Kakashi hummed in assent, not entirely comfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. But then again, he’d been the one to start it. For some unknown reason, Haruno had decided to speak to him like a normal person despite his actions the previous week and he wasn’t about to jeopardize that just yet.

“What’s the name?” She had a sweet smile on her face that made Kakashi need to momentarily look away in order to not lose his shit.

“Pakkun.”

“Why didn’t you bring him? People always bring their dogs to these things.”

Kakashi fought to hide the smile that followed her referring to his dog as a ‘him’. For the seven years he’d had Pakkun, his friends had mercilessly mocked him for his humanisation of the dog and it caught him completely off guard to see Haruno doing the same as him so naturally.

“He’s not a very big fan of crowds." Kakashi shrugged. "Or people. Anyone that isn’t me, actually.”

Haruno laughed at that.

“What’s so funny?” he meant to sound angry but there was no hiding the amusement he felt.

“Of _course_ you’d have an antisocial dog.” She shook her head, that beautiful smile still playing on her lips.

Kakashi shot her an exasperated look, doing his very best to not show how much he wanted to laugh at what she said.

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Take whatever you need from it.”

There was no denying it, Kakashi deeply appreciated getting to know this bolder side of Haruno. Never before had he been so wrong about his first impression of someone as he’d been with hers. As he looked at her now, smiling proudly at her own sassiness, he saw no trace of the Haruno that hid from him in the breaks during the first two lectures of the semester. 

_Yes_ , he did still see the woman who ran uncontrolled through hallways and slammed into him headfirst, drenching him in coffee, but that didn’t sound like such a bad thing anymore.

Kakashi moved his eyes from her before she could come to her senses and realise he was staring at her way too much, and instead checked on the line situation ahead of them. There was only one woman in front of them then, and Kakashi fished Kurenai’s money from his jeans’ pocket as she walked away with drinks in her hand. Haruno stayed behind him as he took a step towards the counter.

“Hi,” the guy behind the wooden structure greeted him. “What’ll be?”

Kakashi greeted him in return and ordered Kurenai’s mulled wine, a hot buttered rum for himself, and Haruno’s hot chocolate. As he waited, he glanced back at her and found her smiling absentmindedly as she looked to their left. Following her gaze, he saw a pair of pre-teen girls fighting over the attention of a boy who apparently couldn’t care less about either of them, the two girls bickering and pointing fingers at one other while the boy had a disdainful expression on his face, his eyes looking down at his phone.

Kakashi sent an inquisitory glance at Haruno, which made her blush as she moved her head back to stare up at him.

“What? Ten years ago that could have been me and my friend.”

Kakashi hummed in amusement.

“Oh, come on.” She rolled her eyes. “Don't act as if you’ve never done anything silly when you were a kid.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Haruno narrowed her eyes at him at the same time the guy behind the counter announced Kakashi’s drinks were ready. He turned his back to her once again and paid for all the drinks, having to get his own money to pay for Haruno’s hot chocolate since Kurenai’s wasn’t enough to cover all three. Grabbing both the rum and the mulled wine, Kakashi moved away so that Haruno could reach the counter.

She opened her mouth to order but stopped as she caught sight of the disposable cup with hot chocolate on the wooden surface. Kakashi watched in amusement as her brows furrowed together and she shot him a look that could perfectly be described as the impersonation of a question mark.

“It _was_ a hot chocolate, right?” He raised one eyebrow at her.

“You… seriously?”

Kakashi shrugged. Her mouth then started opening and closing repeatedly as if she were a fish, which Kakashi couldn’t help but find extremely cute. Her mind was clearly going off at lightning speed, trying to figure out what to do and what to say, and at last, she picked up the disposable cup and moved out of the line, stopping in front of him.

Kakashi could see how red her face had turned before she even looked up to meet his eyes.

“This is… really nice. Thank you.”

“That’s funny.” Kakashi raised his eyebrows and took a sip of his rum. “I do remember someone saying I’m never nice to anyone.”

Haruno let out a short, incredulous laugh at that.

“ _There_ it is.” She nodded, not quite being able to hide her smile despite how much she clearly tried to. “You ruined it.”

“Hm, no. You can’t take it back. I’m nice, it’s settled.”

Kakashi was once again entranced by her contagious laughter, and he couldn’t help but laugh along as she shook her head with that huge smile plastered on her face.

“Sakura?”

The smile vanished from her lips at lightning speed as her head whipped in the direction the voice had come from. Kakashi followed suit and came dangerously close to chocking on his rum as his eyes landed on none other than Uchiha Sasuke, the youngest member of the _shittiest_ prestigious family in Konoha—according to Kakashi’s very personal and biased opinion. It’d been nearly ten years since he’d last seen that kid, who couldn’t have been older than twelve as he'd looked down at his cousin’s grave as if he had no ties whatsoever to the person being buried there.

Kakashi’s heart clenched uncomfortably as it always did when Obito popped up in his head.

He’d thought it back then and he was thinking it now, how weird it was that even though they had both shared the same Uchiha signature onyx eyes and raven hair, there was no trace of Obito on the statue-like face of the boy standing a few meters away from Haruno and him.

And it was then that it really hit Kakashi that Haruno knew this guy.

“Am I interrupting?” Uchiha Sasuke’s voice was icy cold as he looked at Haruno with an expression Kakashi couldn’t quite decipher. He watched as the boy’s eyes moved up to him, though, and then it immediately became crystal clear what it was that Kakashi saw stamped in them.

The fact that the only thing he saw in them was _jealousy_ was almost enough to make Kakashi snort. Of course the boy didn’t remember him. If Kakashi had any intentions of being fair he’d acknowledge he’d never actually interacted with that boy before—something he unfortunately couldn’t say about his older brother, Itachi—and that it wasn’t that big of a deal that Sasuke didn’t recognise him.

Good thing Kakashi had no intentions of being fair whatsoever when it came to that family.

“Sasuke?” Haruno seemed to unfreeze. “I was just about to go find you guys.”

“Yes, I can see that," he sneered.

“For fuck’s sake,” she whispered under her breath, but Kakashi could still hear. She then turned her head back to stare up at him. “Uh, thanks for the hot chocolate. I’m... really sorry.”

“It’s no problem.” He nodded at her. “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

Kakashi took a sip of his drink as Haruno threw one last glance at him and walked away. He turned around before she reached the youngest Uchiha, not feeling the need to gather visual proof of what he already knew.

What had he expected? Of course, a woman like Haruno was bound to have a boyfriend. Sure, he was pretty sure she could do a lot better than Uchiha fucking Sasuke but still. Mentally cursing at himself, Kakashi tried to ignore the nearly painful disappointment he felt in his gut, and when _that_ didn’t work he tried to convince himself it was all due to the rude reminder of the many ways Obito’s extended family had failed him. 

Of course, that didn’t quite work either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehehehehehhe
> 
> this chapter was so much fun to write, honestly. I hope you guys also enjoy their inner thoughts as they try to figure out their feelings for each other!
> 
> once again, I'd like to thank everyone that wrote a review and left kudos! you guys are absolutely amazing and I love reading each and every one of them! <3
> 
> really hope you enjoyed, and let me know what you thought! x
> 
> -A


	8. unexpected disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021

A sigh escaped Sakura’s lips as she once again caught Sasuke shooting her a dirty look from across the picnic table.

“Ok, that’s it.” She stood up and threw the now empty disposable cup on the nearest bin.

Sakura’s back was turned to the group as she walked away without saying anything else, knowing Sasuke would be following close behind.

“This is not okay.” She turned around and crossed her arms after they were a good few meters away. 

From over Sasuke’s shoulder, Sakura could see their friends shooting curious glances at them from their picnic table close to the skating rink and promptly ignored them.

“Good, we agree on that.”

It had been years since Sakura had last seen Sasuke hold himself up as stiff as he did at that moment. His eyes narrowed down at her as he mimicked her actions and crossed his own arms tightly in front of his chest.

“You don’t _get_ to agree.” She pressed the bridge of her nose for a second before looking back up at him. “What the fuck are you even agreeing to?”

“For fuck’s sake, Sakura. Would you like it if you found me shamelessly flirting with someone else?”

“Shamelessly flir…. _Sasuke_!” Her arms were now waving wildly as she wanted nothing more than to strangle him. “What the fuck happened to the conversation we had after the festival?”

“So you don’t deny you were flirting with that guy.”

A groan escaped Sakura’s mouth. Of course, she hadn’t been flirting with Professor Hatake. Sasuke would have never even implied such a thing had he known who Sakura had been speaking to. Sure, the man had constantly been on her thoughts for the past few days and her body did seem to have a very particular reaction to him, but Sakura would never dare to even contemplate the possibility of doing anything about it.

Their conversation earlier had not only been extremely surprising but also honestly confusing to her. Sakura had never expected to see Professor Hatake behave like anything other than a complete asshole. It just didn’t make any sense to her how that huge asshole she’d been putting up with for the past month was actually… not that bad.

Was she crazy, though, to think it was possible that Professor Hatake actually liked her because she didn’t put up with his crap? According to his reputation, that was a man who’d never before been anything but a complete asshole to his students, and yet… 

She stopped her mind right on its tracks as her heart ridiculously sped up at the thought of him liking her at _all_. This was not the time nor place to delve into any of that craziness and Sakura really didn’t appreciate it in the first place. 

“It doesn’t matter. It’s none of your business, Sasuke.” Sakura took a deep breath and looked up at him, focusing on the matter at hand. “At some point, we’re both gonna move on. We agreed to continue hanging out after we broke up because of our friends but this can’t keep happening. Don’t think I won’t push you away if you keep pulling this crap because I will.”

Sasuke’s eye narrowed even more as he looked down at her.

“So now I’m the bad guy because I don’t like seeing you flirt with other guys?”

“Of course not, you have the right to feel whatever you do. You just can’t interfere in my life when doing so.”

Sakura knew this would happen at some point. She’d always known Sasuke would have a fit if she moved on before he did, so, for the past two years, she’d hoped he’d be the first to meet someone else and just leave her the hell alone. Of course, fate was not that kind to Sakura and she was now getting a free sample of Sasuke’s irrational jealousy and possessiveness of her two damn years after she’d dumped his ass.

In absolutely no mood to continue the conversation with him, Sakura walked around Sasuke and made her way back to the picnic table. Leave it to him to completely ruin a perfectly pleasant day—pleasant in a lot more ways than Sakura had ever expected.

As she sat down on her vacant seat, Ino shot her a questioning look to which Sakura shook her head in response. Sasuke would have to get over her at some point. She only wished it was sooner rather than later.

.

.

.

Five days later, Sakura found herself urging her heart to calm the fuck down as she made her way to the Administrative building. Glancing down at her watch, she was just in time for her second thesis supervision session with Professor Hatake.

As she waited for the elevator on the ground floor, Sakura decided to give another try to the new technique she’d been working on to avoid letting her mind wander in his direction. Her serious efforts to put a stop to the thoughts started after she hadn’t been able to sleep a single minute on Sunday night as her brain replayed their conversation over and over again, relieving everything to the tiniest detail. Ever since that, Sakura decided she’d had more than enough. Whatever the hell was happening to her was going way too far. 

So, from Monday on, every time her mind started to even conjure thoughts of Professor Hatake—which it stubbornly did every single time she found herself with too little to do—Sakura simply appealed to her rational side and mentally listed all of the reasons why all that bullshit needed to stop. For fuck’s sake, it’s not like Sakura had a _crush_ on him. Even that thought made her scoff as the elevator door slid open. Did he make her heart skip a few beats? Sure. That didn’t mean anything, though. 

Right?

Pressing the button to the third floor, Sakura looked at herself in the mirror. Thankfully there hadn’t been any snow on that day, yet that didn’t keep her nose from looking a little bit red and feeling numb to the touch, much to Sakura’s dismay. As she waited for the excruciatingly slow elevator to go up, her mind took the opportunity to wander back over to the forbidden subject. She wouldn’t blame herself for her inability to hold back at the moment, though, since she was literally minutes away from actually seeing Professor Hatake. Of course, it was only _natural_ she’d be thinking of him.

Sakura had had a crush on Sasuke for such a huge part of her life, she knew very well what that felt like. She could so clearly remember what it was like when all she would do all day long as a kid and a teenager was keep herself busy by thinking whether Sasuke would _finally_ notice the hairstyle she’d tried on for him, or eagerly wait to see whether he would want to eat his lunch next to her or not.

None of that applied to Professor Hatake. Yeah, he was basically always on her mind, but not in a voluntary way as she’d always thought of Sasuke. 

He was just… _there_. 

And sure, she felt a heatwave wash over her body every single time she even thought about how good he smelled or how strong his grip had been on her when they first met, but surely that meant nothing.

Deciding it was after all extremely stupid to be thinking of any of that minutes before walking into his office, Sakura forced herself to get her shit together. The elevator opened to the third-floor hallway and Sakura made her way down the hall, willing herself to calm the fuck down as she got closer and closer to the last door of the left side of the corridor.

As she reached the end of the hallway, Sakura was greeted with his office door closed shut. She looked down and saw there was no light passing through underneath it, which was already enough to make Sakura close her eyes for a second there as she willed herself not to lose her shit. Not quite giving up hope yet—more like hopelessly clinging to denial at that point—Sakura knocked two times, all the while silently wishing he was just taking a nap inside. 

No answer.

The asshole was late again. 

Shaking her head, Sakura exhaled all of the air left in her lungs. Checking her watch, she saw it was 14:04, which technically also made her late—even though that wasn’t enough to make her feel better right then. She would _not_ give him the satisfaction of finding her patiently waiting for him in the corridor again. Sakura wasted no time before making her way back up the hallway and pressing the metal bar that threw open the red door leading to the emergency stairs. Pulling out her phone from her coat’s pocket, she decided to text her friends’ group chat to pass the time as the heavy door closed shut behind her.

_Anyone not busy?_

_Ino Pig: Getting a pedi ;)_

Sakura was midway through typing a response when Naruto sent a selfie of himself at the library.

_Sai: How did you find your way there, dickless?_

_Ugly, did something happen to your meeting?_

_He’s late_

_Naruto: sai fuck off you idiot. and sakura-chan wtf he’s always late to everything???_

_Ino Pig: Calm down, it’s not the end of the world.. . Btw guys I can’t make it tonight. Got a date! :)_

Sakura knew better than to ask Ino for any further details on her love life. She had lost track of everyone her friend had dated back when they first got into university years before and didn’t even try to keep up anymore.

_Naruto: hey Ino are you getting your feet done for him? are you dating a foot fetish guy?_

The snort that came out of Sakura’s mouth at Naruto’s questions echoed around her on the emergency stairs. She quickly shut up, not wanting to give away her hiding spot in case Professor Hatake arrived.

_Ino Pig: Ffs Naruto get a life_

_Sai: I notice you haven’t answered the questions._

Ino did not answer the group chat anymore but sent Sakura a private message with a picture of the guy she was going out with, who she recognized as one of the frat guys from Ino’s 1st of January party. Their conversation went on for another ten minutes until Sakura heard the familiar noise the elevator made when it opened.

Locking her phone, she waited a few seconds before opening the door slightly to peek outside. Sakura was greeted with the view of Professor Hatake making his way down the corridor, his back turned to her with both hands stuffed deep into his pockets. Sakura glanced down at the phone on her hand to check the time. 14:13. Better than last time but still insufferably, annoyingly late.

For the next four minutes, Sakura could barely focus on the bickering between Sai and Naruto on the group chat. With each passing second, her heart seemed to slam harder in her chest, making it possible for her to hear its frantic rhythm echoing on her ears. 

At last, Sakura threw the door open when it was 14:18 and made her way down the hallway, turning off her phone and sliding it into her messenger bag as she neared his office. The door was thrown wide open and Sakura stopped at the threshold, observing Professor Hatake as he laid back in his chair with both feet crossed over each other on top of his desk. His eyes were focused on the cell phone in his hands as he typed on it, a slight smirk taking form on his lips.

“Took you long enough,” he said without looking up at her.

Sakura was shaken out of her daze with the sound of his voice, absolutely hating the chills that passed through her as a result. Not bothering to wait for his invitation to step into the room, Sakura did anyways and closed the door shut behind her with slightly shaking hands.

“Hope you haven’t been waiting for long.” Sakura silently thanked herself for the steady casualness of her voice. “A black cat crossed my way and I had to take a longer one.”

As she turned back around to make her way to his desk, she found him intently watching her from his seat. Her breath hitched as the intensity in his eyes made her face instantly burn.

“Hmm,” he hummed. “I hate it when that happens.”

Sakura nodded, not being able to ignore the glint she couldn’t quite decipher in his charcoal eyes. Was it amusement? Or was it something else?

Professor Hatake was so fucking hard to read, it infuriated her.

He removed his feet from the top of his desk and readjusted his posture on his chair as Sakura took off her coat and took her seat. She silently watched as he turned off his phone and placed it screen down on his desk.

“Ok, how do you wanna do this?” Professor Hatake interlaced his fingers together on top of his desk as he stared at her. “I can give you my feedback from our previous session first unless you have anything else to add.”

Sakura blinked in surprise at his words. Sure, she had spent quite a few hours for the past week wondering how their second session would go after the friendly interaction they’d had the previous Sunday, but never did she expect him to admit to his own mistakes so quickly. Sure, he didn’t quite say ‘I’m sorry, it was shitty of me to deny you decent feedback’, but what she got was good enough for Sakura. 

At least for now.

“Actually, I did work on it over the past two weeks.” She placed a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “I know it’s early for that but I wrote a general outline for the final paper.”

Professor Hatake’s eyebrows raised as he nodded at her.

“Well, that’s great. Can I see it?”

Sakura pulled out her papers from her bag and forced her mind into her efficient, definitely-not-wildly-distracted-by-the-man-staring-at-her mindset. Thankfully, she managed to do so just fine and started to tell Professor Hatake all about the thought process that led her to build the first outline of her thesis.

For what followed next, both meetings had been generically pretty much the same. All Professor Hatake did as Sakura spoke was intently watch her from his side of the desk, not even once interrupting her. She deeply appreciated the respect he showed her and once again thrived under the feeling of empowerment that washed over her as his charcoal eyes never once wavered from her.

The difference between both meetings came as soon as Sakura finished speaking and glanced down at her watch, noticing it had been a little over an hour since she entered his office. She shot him a questioning look, to which he raised a sharp eyebrow in response.

“Do you have anywhere you need to be?” he questioned.

“No, not right now.”

“Then we’re good.”

As it turns out, Professor Hatake was a fucking _great_ supervisor. He gave her extensive and constructive feedback on everything she’d said, even going as far as remembering and addressing specific points of her almost three-hour long rant on their first session. Sakura knew he had been paying attention then, but _holy shit_ she’d had no idea just how much.

Once again, he made sure to let her know how impressed he was at her work ethic and intellect and the only difference was that, this time, Sakura shut the fuck up and accepted his compliment. In the end, Professor Hatake didn’t tell her to change a single thing in her overall plans, making it also clear that things were naturally bound to change and evolve as further research was taken but that they’d adapt when they did. In addition to the constructive feedback, he made sure to provide her with guidance on how to gain access to certain material needed for her studies which Sakura deeply appreciated.

By the time they were done, once again Sakura could see the woods outside of his window were painted in twilight colours. She couldn’t help but smile as her eyes caught a family of squirrels jumping on the trees’ branches outside, her chest warm after such a productive session.

She was _so_ glad she hadn’t asked to change supervisors.

Sakura turned back to stare at him and blushed as she realised he’d been watching her as she hadn’t been paying attention. Professor Hatake averted his eyes to the ceiling as inconspicuously as possible after getting caught and stood up from his seat. As he made his way to the light switch next to the door, Sakura mentally cursed at her steadily increasing heartbeat. 

“This went considerably better than last time,” she said as light suddenly filled the room, making it considerably brighter.

She heard the sound of his returning footsteps and took a deep breath as Professor Hatake hummed and sat back down on his side of the desk.

“Well, you did learn how to take compliments.”

Sakura chuckled.

“At least you didn’t tell me to ask nicely for feedback this time.”

Her heart stopped beating for a second as the corners of his mouth slightly turned upwards. 

“I guess we can leave it at we both behaved significantly better today.”

It was Sakura’s time to hum in agreement, her eyes slightly narrowing at him. She did think he’d been the bigger asshole two weeks before but she wasn’t in the mood to be reminded of her petty exit from his office, which of course he was bound to bring up if she pressed on the subject any further.

“Can I ask you something?” The words stumbled out of Sakura’s mouth before she could stop herself. 

She bit the inside of her lower lip as Professor Hatake raised one sharp eyebrow at her. It was just that she’d been wondering about this particular thing ever since the first time she'd walked into his office and it felt like this time was as good as any to ask.

“Sure." He leaned back in his chair. "I can’t guarantee I’ll answer.”

Sakura nodded, nervousness making her stomach turn. Why the fuck was she asking him anything _at all_? It’s not like knowing the answer would change anything in her life.

“Why don’t you have anything personal in here?" She gestured at the room around them. "Not even a picture of Pakkun.”

Professor Hatake chuckled after a few seconds of watching her intently. He didn’t answer right away, though, and Sakura wondered if he really wouldn’t.

“I guess I don’t give much importance to physical reminders that this office belongs to me.”

“Hmm.” Sakura nodded, not really satisfied with the answer but unwilling to press it any further. “Do you, though? Have a picture of him?”

“Of Pakkun?”

“Yeah.”

“On my phone, yes.”

“Can I see him?” She smiled brightly.

For a second, she was absolutely certain he’d say no. Sakura was bracing herself to tone down her excitement and nonchalantly pretend she hadn’t given a single thought to his dog and what he looked like over the week that passed since she’d learned about his existence, when, in reality, the complete opposite happened. Multiple times on the past five days, Sakura had caught herself wondering not only what Pakkun looked like but also what the fuck had been in the bag in Professor Hatake’s hands back at the winter festival. 

The idea of Professor Hatake buying stuff for his dog was just too dangerously cute—and human—for her to handle.

Sakura couldn’t help but let her smile grow significantly as he picked up his phone and turned it on, shifting from his leaned-back position so that he now had both forearms pressed on his desk. Never before had Sakura wanted to be able to read his face as much as she did at that moment. He did have a faint smile on his lips as he scrolled down the screen of his phone for a few seconds, so she guessed it was safe to assume he was positively enjoying the situation. 

As he turned the cell phone to her after selecting a picture, Sakura felt her jaw drop and her lips slowly spread into an open, wide smile. She couldn’t help but let out a delighted noise as the cutest brown pug in the universe faced the camera with an adorable scowl on his face. Sakura immediately started giggling as she was taken completely by surprise by Professor Hatake’s dog. For all those days, she had so surely taken him for a 'big dog' owner, maybe a pit bull or a rottweiler, a really big and manly dog to represent his infamous reputation.

But no. Professor Hatake had a _pug_. A fucking adorable, apparently antisocial pug.

She couldn’t help but wonder what else she’d been wrong to assume about him. The completely rude asshole she saw during lectures couldn’t possibly be the same man sitting across from her at that moment. As she came back to her senses and moved her eyes from the picture back to Professor Hatake, Sakura was almost certain she saw a hint of nervousness on his face as he studied her face.

“He’s adorable.” Her smile was still wide on her lips.

Professor Hatake’s face burst into an involuntary smile in return that made Sakura’s heart clench. 

Every little thing Sakura had been learning about Professor Hatake ever since their first supervision session together made her see the behaviour he showed in his lectures was only a small, possibly even inauthentic side of him. Not only that but she also realised there was bound to exist some sort of explanation as to why he was so strict with his students. For the first time, Sakura studied him briefly from across the desk and understood she didn’t know that man at all, and she’d been really wrong to judge him as much as she had.

She was just about to gather the courage to ask what he’d bought for Pakkun at the winter festival when she was interrupted by a knock on the closed door.

“Yes?” Professor Hatake said, putting his phone down.

Sakura turned around to face whoever opened the door.

“Miss Haruno!” Professor Yamato exclaimed in surprise from the threshold. “What a surprise.”

“Hi, Professor.” She smiled kindly at him.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, it’ll be quick. Can I…?” he awkwardly asked. 

“Sure, go ahead,” Kakashi said from his place behind the desk. 

“It’s just that you weren’t answering our texts and Asuma needs an answer right now, so he had me come here and ask you myself.”

Professor Hatake hummed and the sound of leather moving made Sakura realise he was most likely leaning back in his chair.

“What about?” he asked.

“If you’re going tonight.”

“No." The slightly sharp edge to his tone made Sakura frown slightly. "Ask Kurenai.”

Sakura moved her body back around on her chair to face Professor Hatake but lowered her head as she pulled her bag onto her lap and started collecting her stuff to give them some privacy as they talked. A lot of time had passed and it was time to leave, anyway.

“She’s in a meeting with Tsunade. What, do you have plans?” she could hear the confusion in Professor Yamato’s voice but didn’t look up to acknowledge either of the men.

“Yes.”

If she'd thought his tone had been sharp before, it had been nothing compared to how he'd pronounced those three letters. Knowing she was listening to something that didn't concern her in the slightest, Sakura now lowered the entire upper half of her body as she moved her bag to the floor and tried to organize her laptop and notebook inside of it while not wrinkling any of the loose papers she’d written notes on, doing her best to disappear as quickly as she possibly could.

“Ohh, right.” Professor Yamato’s voice was suddenly filled with realization. “Is your date tonight?”

Professor Hatake didn’t respond to that but his silence said it all.

Sakura completely froze at what she was doing. Thankfully, she was one hundred per cent certain he couldn’t see her from where he sat on the other side of the wooden desk, so at least she had _that_ going for her. She absolutely hated the nearly painful way her chest clenched as she heard Professor Hatake had a date that night, though. What the fuck did she expect?

Why the fuck was she so _disappointed_?

Sakura snapped back into action and quickly managed to close her bag. She didn’t really care anymore whether any loose papers were crumpled or not, she just needed to get the fuck out of there. Standing up, Sakura grabbed her coat from the back of her seat and pushed the strap of her bag over her left shoulder.

“Well, time to go.” She sent Professor Hatake what she hoped was a convincing smile. “Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it.”

She quickly turned around and walked away before he could say anything in return. Shooting a smile at Professor Yamato as she passed him at the door, Sakura stepped into the hallway outside. Terrified of being stuck waiting for the slow elevator and running the risk of interacting with Professor Hatake if he decided to leave shortly after her, Sakura opted to take the emergency stairs down to the ground floor.

As she went down step by step with an unsettled pace to her steps, she tried to convince herself those were good news after all. Now she could easily put a stop to all the crazy thoughts that’d been stealing precious hours from her without her consent.

Things would be a lot easier now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!!!
> 
> tbh, this isn't my favourite chapter in the whole wide world. I really do love exploring how they're slowing but surely getting more and more comfortable with each other and figuring out each other's boundaries, so I guess I do have myself to blame for sometimes dwelling too much on that. buuut I did ask and you guys said you also really like this phase, so yaaayyy! 
> 
> I pinky promise it will all be worth it in the near future. holy fuck I can't wait to get to the good stuff.
> 
> so, this chapter was supposed to contain a lot more stuff to it, but I made the decision to split what I had written into two! it just made more sense to separate them, you'll see why when chapter 9 is out :)
> 
> once again I'd like to thank all of the amazing reviews and kudos! I'm definitely not ashamed to admit I even shed a few PMSing tears of joy and thankfulness over a few reviews left for chapter 7. you guys are literally AMAZING and the response my story has been getting is beyond anything I had expected. honestly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you <3
> 
> I'll see you guys again soon ;) x
> 
> -A


	9. wee hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021  
> ...  
> ORIGINAL A/N
> 
> SURPRISE!!!!! heehehehehehheeh enjoy, my darlings. I'm really fucking happy with this one.

As it turned out, Kakashi had been in absolutely no mood to go out on that Friday night so it hadn’t really come as a surprise when he texted Aika and cancelled their plans almost immediately after Haruno and Tenzou walked out of his office. Even after getting home, he decided against telling Genma anything about it. Kakashi was planning on taking full advantage of his empty studio as his friend went over to Asuma and Kurenai’s for whatever plan they’d had come up with, not having to fulfil his obligation of actually going since they'd think he'd be out on the date. 

At last, Kakashi managed to spend some well-earned quality time rereading his beloved Icha Icha novels with Pakkun napping next to him on his bed. Why the hell had he even considered going on that date anyway? Kakashi vigorously cursed the moment of weakness he’d been in when he'd accepted Kurenai’s offer to set him up with her yoga instructor friend. As it turns out, finding out Haruno had a boyfriend—and it was _Uchiha fucking Sasuke,_ as if he could forget—had taken a bigger toll on him than he’d expected. Kakashi hadn’t been able to close his eyes at all the night of the winter festival, ridiculously tossing and turning around in his bed until the early hours of the morning came and he could get up and carry on with his day as if everything was fine. As the same occurred on the following night, he decided to just give up and tell Kurenai to send him her friend’s number. 

Desperate times called for unprecedented—and equally desperate—measures.

Kakashi had always hated the idea of dating and hadn’t gone out with anyone since he was a student and took a girl to the movies, over fifteen years before. It just _really_ wasn’t his thing. Kakashi had always been a firm believer that it was way easier and more convenient for two consenting adults to momentarily use each other to take care of their own needs in a non-binding way. Honestly, meaningless hookups just always turned out to be win-win situations, especially if they’d never have to see each other’s faces again.

At thirty-five, Kakashi knew better than to think he'd ever be able to just magically change his beliefs after one miserable date he hadn’t even been looking forward to. He didn’t even _want_ to change them but he would try literally anything to get his mind off of Haruno Sakura.

Never before had Kakashi gone through anything like what had been happening to him for the past few weeks. As his friends had always joked, he might as well be the most emotionally repressed person to have ever existed and yeah, sure, Kakashi didn’t deny that. But even _he_ had enough emotional intelligence to kinda understand what was happening to him.

And he fucking hated every aspect of it.

Of _fucking_ course, the first time in his life he actually had any desire whatsoever to get to know a woman and see where the possibilities could lead, she turned out to be completely, one hundred per cent off-limits in literally every sense of it. Not only was Haruno his student—and he was her thesis supervisor, to top it all off—but she also naturally had a boyfriend. And even if none of those had been the case, why the fuck would she even be interested in him anyway? 

Even knowing all that, Kakashi just couldn’t bring himself to go out with someone else after Haruno left his office on Friday. He knew he was an absolute fool for letting her dazzling smile and unbelievable wit cloud his judgement but there was no going around it. If it were up to Kakashi, Aika would have just taken the hint and not said anything else after he cancelled on her. Instead, she asked if he wanted to take a rain check some other time.

Now, an entire week had passed since Haruno’s second supervision session and nothing particularly relevant had happened during the two advanced human physiology lectures of the week. Everything had been completely normal, yet Kakashi just couldn’t get her out of his head. He'd had more than enough of it at that point and just needed to do something to try to stop the mental torture.

And that’s how Kakashi found himself leaving his studio on the next Friday evening at 11 pm, on his way to meet Aika wherever she had chosen and take her up on her offer.

He called her as soon as he closed the building’s door shut behind him. She had recently sent him the location of the place she’d gotten coupons she needed to get rid of but his data wasn’t loading the screen all the way, so he needed to know the name of the place to get there. 

“ _Hey!_ ”

There was a lot of background noise on the other end of the phone as Aika picked up, making Kakashi wince and press the volume button on his phone with his thumb to lower it.

“Hey,” he greeted her. “Can you tell me where we’re meeting? My phone isn’t loading the location you sent.”

“ _Oh, sure! I’m at the Rusty Kunai. I just arrived, already got us a table._ ”

Kakashi closed his eyes as a thousand different swear words flew through his mind. Of fucking course she had to pick the one place in Konoha he absolutely couldn’t go.

“Really?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Aren’t there a lot of students there?”

“ _Uh, yeah… but I do have to get rid of the coupons. I used to come here when I was in uni and the hamburgers are so so good._ ”

Kakashi pursed his lips. Would it be too shitty of him to cancel on her then? He could just lie and say he wasn’t as young as he used to be and the idea of eating a burger at 11 pm made him feel nauseous. Literally, he could come up with a billion different excuses to get out of it, it's not like he hadn't done anything like that before.

“ _Kakashi?_ ”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed, knowing that it would indeed be extremely assholey of him to cancel on her then and at the same time not in the slightest willing to put up with Kurenai’s wrath if he did so. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

He hung up before she could say anything else. This was already shaping out to be a fucking terrible evening and all he could do at that point was hope Haruno wasn’t working that night.

The fifteen minutes that took Kakashi to walk to the Rusty Kunai were at the same time excruciatingly slow and mercilessly fast, each step he took coming with a wish that a meteor would drop from the sky right onto his head. Kakashi groaned as he stood outside the closed door of the bar he had been to about a billion times before and had to give himself a silent pep talk of how he couldn’t possibly be _that_ unlucky before pulling it open and walking inside.

The first thing he did was try to locate a pink head on the far end of the bar. From his spot at the door, Kakashi triple-checked the entire toom—as best as he could since the place was unbearably full as it always was on Fridays—and found no trace of Haruno. Sighing in relief, it didn’t take long for him to locate Aika on one of the small four-people tables slightly close to the counter. She’d picked the last table available, one really close to a group of six students huddled around the bartender counter, laughing amongst themselves. Kakashi frowned as he recognized Uchiha Sasuke as one of them. 

Great, he would need to spend the entire fucking evening facing the live reminder of why absolutely nothing worked out for him in his life. Forcing himself to let it go, glad that at least Sakura was nowhere in sight, Kakashi turned his eyes to the girl he was supposed to be meeting. Aika’s blonde hair was pulled back from her face as she typed something at her phone, not noticing Kakashi at all, which served him well. She looked a lot like her picture in real life. She was a kind of pretty that made Kakashi certain that if he'd ever spotted her in a bar he would have most likely approached her voluntarily, yet for some disturbing reason he found himself simply not giving a shit about whether that would’ve happened under different circumstances or not because at that moment he just couldn’t be less interested in her.

It took every ounce of perseverance Kakashi possessed for him not to make an instant U-turn and just go back home. He already knew this date would be completely useless and a complete waste of both of their times, and just leaving seemed kinder than forcing Aika to put up with the foul mood he knew he was in. For some reason, though—Kurenai’s threats of feeding him his own balls if he stood her friend up, to be more exact—Kakashi kept on walking and silently kept on convincing himself this wouldn’t be so bad, that at least there were free meals involved and he could at least try not to be a complete fucking asshole to her. 

“Hey,” he said as he sat down across from her.

“Oh, hi!” She smiled at him as she looked up from her phone and Kakashi watched as a faint blush took over her cheeks as her eyes traced his face. “Wow, it’s great to finally meet you! Kurenai definitely didn’t do you enough justice.”

Kakashi forced himself to shoot her a pleasant smile. She still hadn’t turn off her cell phone and a sound came out of it as he opened his mouth to answer.

“I do hope she warned you in advance I would most likely be late for this,” he said anyway, pleased about how she'd immediately looked down to check the message she'd just received. At least he wouldn't be the only one with shitty behaviour that night.

Aika laughed a little bit too hard at his words after typing a quick response into her phone.

“She sure did." She nodded and looked back up at him. "Hey, I took the liberty to order us two Libertines, I hope that’s ok.”

It wasn’t even remotely ok but Kakashi chose against saying anything about it, set on doing his very best to be as pleasant as he possibly could. It had clearly been the wrong call to accept Aika’s raincheck offer but Kakashi’s foul mood wasn’t her fault in the slightest. All he needed to do was wait until the date was over and then he’d be free to go home and tell Kurenai at least he'd tried.

Hopefully, that’d get her off his back for a while. The fact that his balls would remain unharmed came as a bonus, of course.

As it turned out, though, it became increasingly harder to pretend to be even slightly interested in the situation. Aika talked _a lot_. A lot more than Kakashi could deal with at the moment. He did try to convince himself it suited him well enough, though, since he was in absolutely no mood to speak and she kept on filling the voids in conversation. As much as he tried to give her at least an ounce of his attention, Kakashi couldn’t help but tune his mind out to what she was saying. He knew it wasn’t fair to her but he just couldn’t handle any of it at the moment.

A while after he arrived, Aika called a waitress and ordered two burgers for them. As she searched for the coupons on her bag, Kakashi took a sip of the cocktail she'd forced upon him. As he’d predicted, it was absolutely disgusting and he never would have decided to order one for himself, and the only reason he didn’t say anything was that at least he wasn’t paying for it.

When a flash of pink showed up on his peripheral vision, Kakashi suddenly choked on his drink—needless to say, it had nothing to do with the taste. Turning his head in that direction at lightning speed, Kakashi saw Haruno on the other side of the counter talking to the six students huddled up in front of her. As it turned out, she’d been hidden from his sight the entire time but she was _there_.

Kakashi couldn’t do anything as he saw Haruno slowly locate him on his seat in what felt like slow motion. The way her pink eyebrows rose slightly on her forehead as she recognised him and the beginning of that astonishing smile started to form on her face made him momentarily forget where he was and what he was doing there, but as he saw her face turn into a frown as her eyes moved to the back of Aika’s head, he was suddenly reminded of the current circumstances. 

Kakashi could so clearly see Haruno putting one plus one together and reaching the obvious conclusion, her obvious efforts to hide her blatant disappointment from showing up on her face—and failing to do so—confusing him beyond possible measure. He hadn’t expected her to care. Why the fuck would she?

But… somehow, it seemed like she did. 

Haruno looked slightly disoriented for a few seconds after she moved her eyes away from Kakashi and Aika. He watched as a brunette friend of hers tried to catch Haruno’s attention and it took her a few seconds to focus her jade eyes on her.

He couldn’t be imagining this, could he?

“Kakashi?”

He blinked and forced his attention to go back to Aika.

“Sorry.” He waved a hand at her. “Long day.”

It didn’t take long for her to fall right back into what she'd been previously saying. From what Kakashi could gather, it had something to do with why she turned her back on her career in engineering to teach yoga. For all he tried, though, he just really didn’t care.

A while later, a strong hand closing on Kakashi’s shoulder made him turn his head to the side to see who it was. A wave of relief washed over him as his eyes landed on Genma standing behind him with a toothpick placed between his teeth as he grinned and his stupid beanie positioned proudly on his big head.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” his friend asked, brown eyes moving between Aika and Kakashi. “Second date already?”

“Come on, sit.” Kakashi nodded his head to the empty chair closest to Genma, hoping Aika didn’t linger on how his friends seemed to be under the impression they’d already gone out together. “We’re waiting for our burgers.”

Kakashi sent an inquisitorial look at Aika, who seemed to have no complaints to the new addition. It made him relieved to know she didn’t have any hopes whatsoever for their date since there was no way in hell she could have possibly thought it was going even slightly well. She smiled warmly at Genma and was quick to offer him a burger of his own since she still had a spare coupon to use, which of fucking course Genma accepted—much too gladly—as he pulled back the chair to Kakashi’s right and sat down.

With Genma there, time quickly flew by. Kakashi still wasn’t having any fun whatsoever but he was now released from the moral obligation of pretending he was paying any attention to anything that happened on his table when, in fact, he couldn’t even if he’d wanted to.

Not when Haruno was right _there_ , literally five steps away from him.

It was impossible for him to not notice how she kept avoiding looking in his direction the entire night. Kakashi did catch the youngest Uchiha shooting him what could best be described as daggers from time to time, though. At first, it'd been fascinating and quite amusing to Kakashi but it started to happen so often that the youngest Uchiha's jealousy towards his girlfriend started to cross the line to just plain-out weird.

The hours went by and soon enough Kakashi realised the bar had gotten significantly emptier. He watched as the kitchen staff exited the establishment one by one and the waiters started making quick work of cleaning the already empty tables. He truly was confused for a second there until he checked his watched and saw it was 4:17 am. How the fuck had they spent so long in there?

“Let’s go,” Kakashi spoke for what seemed like the first time in hours and pulled his wallet from his pants' pocket.

“Huh?” Genma turned his attention to him. 

Kakashi showed him his own watch and nodded as Genma’s jaw dropped as he saw the time. 

“What the fuck, why the hell haven’t the bartenders announced the last call?”

“I’m sure they’re busy," Kakashi said even though he suspected there had been some ulterior motive for Haruno to not come even slightly close to their table. "Come on, let’s go.”

He left a $20 bill at the table to cover the extra expenses consumed by the table over the hours since Genma and Aika had shared a portion of french fries and had had a considerable number of drinks. Kakashi hadn’t, though. Just like Haruno did everything she could to pretend he wasn't there, Kakashi didn’t dare approach the bartender counter and actually face her. 

“Oh, thanks for paying, Kakashi.” Aika smiled at him as she put on her coat.

All Genma did, though, was throw Kakashi his biggest suspicious stare after staring at the money on their table for a few seconds. Kakashi shrugged, wasting no time before standing up. Honestly, they both knew they could count on the fingers of just one hand the number of times Kakashi had actually volunteered to cover a bill in their lives, but at that moment all he wanted to do was get the fuck out of that bar as soon as he possibly could. If paying for the table was what needed to be done, then so be it.

“I’m gonna call myself a cab, do you guys want one too?” Aika picked up her phone.

Genma declined her offer and explained they were within walking distance of Kakashi’s flat. As Kakashi put on his coat, he pretended to not notice Aika not so discreetly inviting Genma to go home with her and it took everything in him not to laugh at how the night turned out in the end. Good for her. At least _she_ got something out of the fucking disaster of a date.

Kakashi threw one last look at the bartender counter before making his way out. Haruno was shooing her friends away with a smile on her face and a bottle of detergent and cloth on her hands.

She didn’t look at him.

Kakashi led the way to the exit of the bar, purposefully leaving Genma and Aika behind to give them some privacy. They caught up with him soon enough on the sidewalk, though, and Kakashi stood with them to wait for the taxi. It took approximately 10 minutes and by the time it arrived, Aika was the only one to get inside, making Kakashi send Genma a _what-the-fuck-are-you-doing_ look, which Genma completely ignored.

“Did you feed your dog?” Genma asked as the two of them started making their way to Kakashi’s studio.

“Of course I did.”

“Ok, that’s good to know.”

“Why?” Kakashi frowned.

“ _Why_?" Genma shot him an exasperated look. "It’s plotting to kill me, _that's_ why. If it’s not hungry, I’m safe for another night.”

“What the _fuck_ did you just say?” Kakashi stopped walking, looking at Genma as if he'd just grown three separate heads.

“Well, it hates me.” Genma shrugged.

“He’s smaller than you forearm." Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Can’t kill you.”

“Never underestimate the enemy, Bakashi.”

Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh at that. Leave it to Genma to be able to make him laugh even when his mood was significantly sour.

“So, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Ah. 

So that’s why Genma didn’t leave with Aika.

With any trace of laughter gone from his lips, Kakashi kept his eyes trained on the sidewalk as he carried on walking with both hands stuffed deep in his pockets.

“There’s nothing wrong.” He shrugged after spending a considerable amount of time contemplating whether he should even answer.

“I found you at a bar with a gorgeous and cool girl and you were barely even looking at her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad you decided to try the date at all, it’s just… you seemed off.”

Kakashi hummed in response. What the hell could he possibly say to him? It wasn't like he had any ounce of understanding as to what was happening to himself and the little bit he had already figured out was completely out of bounds to be discussed.

Genma didn’t press him any further, though, for which Kakashi was immensely grateful.

“You could have left with her, you know?” Kakashi jokingly pushed Genma sideways with his elbow.

“No, I couldn’t. Not when you’re clearly going through something here.”

Somehow, Kakashi felt slightly better at that. Knowing he could count on his friend if he ever did decide to talk about any of that crazy shit made it all seem slightly less dooming in his head.

Thank fuck for good friends.

The walk back home took them a little bit longer than it usually did at their leisurely pace, regardless of the cold winter weather. As Kakashi climbed the short steps leading up to the entrance of his building, he took a look at his watch and saw it was 4:49. He put his hands in the back pockets of his jeans to get out his keys and felt his heart drop as he noticed the absence of his wallet.

“For fuck's sake,” Kakashi said after closing his eyes in annoyance. 

Genma sent him a questioning look as Kakashi groaned and raised his face up to the starry sky, his eyes still closed shut.

“I left my wallet at the bar.”

“Oof, good luck with that,” Genma smirked.

“It’s fine, I’ll just get it tomorrow.” Kakashi turned the key on the lock and opened the building’s front door.

“Terrible idea,” Genma said as he slipped inside the warm hall and turned back around to face Kakashi, who was still out on the cold. “If someone stole it you need to cancel your credit cards as soon as possible.”

“Nobody fucking stole it.”

“How do you know? What if you dropped it on the street on the way here?”

Kakashi groaned again, removing the sole key to his studio's door from the main keychain and handing it to Genma.

“Leave the door unlocked. I’ll kill you if you leave me out in the hallway.”

Genma smirked as he saluted him and Kakashi turned back around, stuffing the key to the building’s front door back into his pocket. He retraced every step Genma and he had just taken but there was no sign of his wallet anywhere on the sidewalk. 

At that point, he could only hope there’d still be someone at the Rusty Kunai by the time he got there so that the walk wouldn’t go to waste.

.

.

.

Sakura sighed as she finally slipped on her coat, the results of the catastrophic night finally catching up to her now that she didn’t have anything else to mercifully distract her from it. It had been a whole week of Sakura living her own personal hell knowing Professor Hatake had been on a date the previous Friday after their supervision and it even got to a really embarrassing point that even attending his lectures that week had been extremely painful. Sakura absolutely fucking _hated_ that. 

So what if he was dating? It’s not like she would ever have a shot with him anyway.

Cringing at the sudden thought, Sakura picked up her purse from one of the hooks on the staff room. What the hell was _wrong_ with her? Giving in to ridiculous thoughts such as that one made it sound like she actually felt something for him which, of course, she didn’t.

Sakura took one last look at the staff room and turned off its lights before closing the door shut as she stepped back into the main bar area. As she passed through the kitchen door, she checked whether it had been properly cleaned and closed by the waiters responsible for the last round of dishes. It was now completely dark inside as the room sat ready for the next day. Satisfied, Sakura checked the bartender counter one last time. All of the glasses were clean and organised and there wasn’t a single dirty spot on the counter or floor. She had always made a much better job at cleaning up than all of her bartender mates and she truly didn’t mind doing it if it meant maintaining appropriate hygiene levels on their working area.

Sakura pulled off the hair tie holding her ponytail up and sighed as her pink strands were finally freed, massaging her aching skull absentmindedly. Even that wasn’t enough to lift up her mood. She slid the hair tie around her wrist and searched through the Rusty Kunai’s bundle of keys to find the one to the front door. Taking one last look at the empty and clean bar, Sakura threw the door open and turned off all of the lights. 

The air outside was cold but she welcomed it after the long hours in the frenzied heat. She stepped into the sidewalk and turned around, placing the key on the lock while closing the door shut. The only sound on the empty street consisted of the huge number of keys' annoying noise as they clanged against each other. Sakura turned the lock and slipped the bundle of keys back into her bag, turning around with her head down as she clicked the button to shut it closed.

Two steps were taken away from the bar before Sakura realised she wasn’t alone. Being a woman on her own on an empty street at around 5 in the morning, Sakura knew her odds weren’t the best at the moment, especially because it wouldn’t be the first time some creepy guy decided it would be a great idea to lurk around the bar to catch Sakura leaving. She was lucky she’d always happened to have Kiba with her the few times that’d happened.

That wasn’t the case now. Sakura was all alone.

Her heart nearly jumped out of her throat as a wave of panic washed over her and a piercing scream left her mouth reflexively as she caught sight of the shadow looming over hers from behind. In the split second it took for her to will herself to just fucking _run_ , Sakura froze on the spot as she heard a familiar chuckle. Turning around, Sakura was sure her heart had never before in her life beaten so frantically as it did now. Her breathing was coming out of her as if she’d just run a 10k marathon but the instant relief she felt as she caught sight of Professor Hatake trying to stifle his laughter behind her was also unlike any other she’d ever felt before.

Sakura closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself down, a small involuntary smile of relief starting to form on her lips. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a scream like that one before,” the deep sound of his voice did wonders to calm her down.

Sakura shook her head before opening her eyes to look at him, her heartbeat still thumping loudly in her ears. The smile on his face was equal parts amused and worried as he cautiously studied her from a few steps away.

“You ok? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“I’m fine.” She nodded in assurance, mainly to herself.

It took Sakura’s mind a few seconds to catch up on what was happening and try to make some sense out of it on the spot. Not that long before, she had watched from behind the counter as Professor Hatake and his friend Genma left with the gorgeous girl that had been there with him and she didn’t really see a reason for him to be heading back to the bar.

The sight of Professor Hatake on his date had been enough to drastically destroy Sakura’s mood for the rest of her shift. She had done everything she could do to put up a façade for her friends to pretend nothing was wrong, and while she apparently succeeded with them, it had been excruciating knowing Professor Hatake was on a date only a few steps away from her. 

It took everything in her to not look in their direction during the entire evening but at least she'd managed to do it.

“I know you must be dying to go home but I lost my wallet and I think it might be in there.” Professor Hatake gave her an eye crinkling smile while scratching the hair on the back of his head with his left hand. “I only realised when I got home.”

Sakura blinked up at him as she took in what he said.

“Oh, it was yours? Yeah, one of the waitresses found it.”

She made quick work of finding the keys on her bag again and reopened the door, slipping inside to turn the lights back on again. No further comments from him were necessary before Sakura made a beeline to the staff room and opened it, turning the light back on as she quickly located the lost and found box on the corner. She kneeled down on the floor to remove the cardboard lid, her eyes immediately zeroing in on the black leather wallet right on top of everything else. 

Closing the box after having taken the wallet and standing back up, she was ready to go back to the entrance of the bar and ask him whether that was the right one. Turning around, though, Sakura’s breath hitched as she found Professor Hatake casually leaning against the staff room's threshold with both hands stuffed deep into his pockets. She hadn’t heard him follow her all the way there and the way his charcoal eyes were watching her didn’t help with her cardiac situation at the moment.

“Is this it?” She showed him the wallet, her mouth suddenly dry.

He nodded and stood out his hand. Sakura handed it to him and felt her breath hitch as their fingers accidentally touched during the exchange. It was like an electric shock that originated from all the places her fingers had come into contact with him spread throughout her entire body and Sakura quickly pulled her hand back, trying to look busy by checking her watch as she fought to get her shit together.

“Well, I’m glad you got it back.” She smiled up at him, her heart beating almost as fast as it had a few minutes before when she had thought the worst was about to happen to her.

The reasons behind her accelerated heartbeat were completely different at the moment, though, and as much as she wanted to Sakura couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Do you always close up the bar alone?”

Sakura frowned at his sudden question.

“Uh, on half of the nights, yeah. Bartenders are always the last to leave since we’re the last ones to finish cleaning up, so it’s always either me or another guy closing up. We never work on the same day because of that.”

Professor Hatake hummed as he stepped backwards to leave the staff room and give her space to do the same. She flicked the switch to turn the lights off and closed the door behind her, wasting no time before walking past him and making her way to the front door.

“And how do you get home?”

Sakura turned her head back to stare at Professor Hatake as he followed her, hating how goddamn _good_ he looked in casual clothes. His entire outfit was black, from his sneakers to his jeans and the long-sleeved shirt underneath the also black jacket and the contrast with his silver hair was positively sinful.

“I walk.” She shrugged.

“Alone?” He raised one sharp silver eyebrow at her and Sakura had to force herself to turn her head away from him.

She nodded as she finally reached the front door and held it open for him to go through first, staying behind to once again turn off all of the lights and lock the door after stepping outside.

“That’s not ok. It’s dangerous.”

“I live nearby,” she said with her head bent as she deposited the bundle of keys into her bag once again.

“How nearby?”

Sakura sighed, raising her head to look up at him. The sidewalk was considerably dark and the poor lighting from the light posts did little to illuminate his face as he looked down at her.

“Twenty-five minutes walking.”

“That’s not nearby. Nearby is around the corner.”

“Well, I’ve got pepper spray in my bag.”

Professor Hatake hummed again and Sakura absolutely hated how much she fucking loved it when he did that. Even though she couldn’t see his face, she felt the intensity of his gaze and felt her face grow warmer as a result.

“Ok, let’s go.” He motioned with his head as if telling her to lead the way.

“What?” She frowned at him.

“What direction?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m walking you home, what does it look like?”

Sakura felt her eyes widen.

“You don’t have to do that. Seriously.”

“What direction?” he completely ignored her protest.

Sakura pointed with her finger to the sidewalk stretching to her right, her hands slightly shaking. She hoped with all of her being he wouldn’t notice.

“Hm, that’s the way to my place as well." He looked in the direction she'd pointed at. "Come on.”

Sakura couldn’t protest anymore as she followed him, unable to stop herself from frowning at his lie. Professor Hatake had said he’d just arrived at his home before realising he’d forgotten his wallet and he had shown up from the complete opposite direction to where they were going now. It was obvious he would have to make the whole way back and walk who knows how much longer to his own place after dropping her off. 

Apparently, though, he didn’t care at all.

His lie made Sakura softly smile as she analysed the possible reason behind it. He clearly didn’t want her to feel like she was burdening him, and she really appreciated it.

As they fell into a comfortable rhythm in the direction she’d pointed, Sakura knew Professor Hatake was slowing down his own pace to match her own. That realisation didn’t make it any easier for her to ease down the crazy thoughts going over her head at the moment. It had all been so much _easier_ for her when he was just an asshole professor who didn’t tip her just to annoy her. 

When the hell had their dynamic so drastically changed? She knew it had been after their first supervision session, but _why_?

Sakura had always been a day person but after a year working at the Rusty Kunai, she’d learned to appreciate the beauty of the wee hours. The empty and silent street joined together with the completely dark windows above them made it seem like they were the last people on the world, and even though she knew it was really dangerous and all for her to walk home alone at this hour she’d always loved that peaceful silence and solitude.

She really didn’t mind Professor Hatake’s presence right then, though, which baffled her enough as it was.

“You owe me a question.”

The sudden sound of his deep voice nearly made her jump after the comfortable silence they’d been sharing for the past couple of minutes. 

“What?”

“You asked me about my office a week ago. I get to ask something now.”

“Oh.” Sakura tucked a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. “Sounds fair. Ok, go on.”

Professor Hatake hummed, clearly pretending to be deep in thought. A feeling of dread came over Sakura as she got the impression he'd already had whatever question he was planning on asking prepared in his mind for who knows how long.

“Ok, got one.” He nodded after putting up with his fake-thinking façade for a few more seconds. “Help me understand how the hell is it possible for someone to come up with 15 minutes of fake conversation on a turned-off phone.”

Sakura tripped over a slightly raised block from the sidewalk and almost fell but managed to keep herself on her feet. She could feel her face growing hotter and hotter with each passing second and when she stared up at Professor Hatake, he was looking down at her with an amused expression and a raised slender eyebrow.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That’s not a fair answer.”

“That’s not a fair _question_.”

The sound of his sudden laughter made her smile reflexively, her mortification slowly making its way out of her system. She’d only ever heard Professor Hatake doing that once before on the winter festival two weeks before and it sounded like music to her ears, which was a ridiculous enough thought that Sakura could actually cringe hadn’t she been so enthralled in him. Shaking her head to keep herself sharp, Sakura fell back into step next to him. He was now smiling from the aftermath of his laughter, making her heart clench inside her chest.

Her entire body was slightly trembling and she knew it had _nothing_ to do with the mid-February chill.

“Can I ask another one?” Professor Hatake asked.

“That doesn’t sound fair.”

“It’s a follow-up question.”

“Fine, only because you’re walking me home.” Sakura waved a hand at him to go ahead.

“Did you not take macroscopic anatomy before because you were scared of me?”

Sakura pursed her lips for a few seconds, trying to guess the odds of Professor Hatake being offended by the truth. A few weeks before she wouldn’t have even thought before telling him she’d avoided him because she thought he was incompetent in his job, but now that they’d been actually getting along… she didn’t want to risk that.

But then again, Sakura had already said a few truths to his face and he’d only seemed to like her even more for them.

She glanced sideways at him and saw he was intently watching her. Once again, his expression was impossible for her to read.

“Well,” Sakura chuckled, wrapping her hand around her other forearm behind her back, “not really. I always do a quick research on the faculty selected for the courses in each semester to see if they’re good or not and… yeah.”

“You thought I wasn’t _good_?”

“Hm, no, that’s not it. Ok, so, you have a lot of negative reviews. A _lot_.” Sakura looked up at him for emphasis. “Most of them on how you treat the students and stuff like that, but quite a few were on how difficult you make it to pass your class and I had the impression you didn’t pass students just because you wanted to be difficult no matter what. I mean, the highest grade anyone has ever gotten in your classes was a 71, which is honestly absurd. It really sounds like you’re one of those professors who does everything to turn your students’ lives into hell, you know? And I really value my education, so I didn’t want to put up with a professor who wouldn’t _let_ me take it seriously.”

A few seconds went by in which absolutely happened and Sakura wondered if she’d crossed a line this time. What if he just turned around and left? What if he asked to have her assigned to another thesis supervisor because he couldn’t look at her anymore? What if h…

But then Professor Hatake chuckled, making Sakura release a breath she hadn’t noticed she’d been holding.

“I mean, you weren’t wrong.” He shrugged. “I do make it difficult.”

“No, I _was_ wrong.” Sakura nodded emphatically. “I mean, you do treat students like crap—” Professor Hatake snorted at that, making Sakura smile in return—“and you do make it hard for students to pass your class, but now I know it’s not just for the sake of it. Your standards are high, that’s just _it_ , and you’re not willing to lower them. If I’d known _that_ , I wouldn’t have avoided your class. You’re a really great professor, really. _And_ supervisor.”

Sakura’s heart rate increased slightly when she realised what’d she said and she grasped the handle of her bag with her left hand while letting the right one fall comfortably to her side.

“That’s the first time I hear that.”

“What?” Sakura asked, keeping her eyes set on the path ahead of them.

“What you said,” he said as if it really counted as a decent answer. If he didn’t want to give her straight answers, Sakura wouldn’t push him on it. “For what it’s worth, I have a feeling you’ll completely shatter my expectations, Haruno.”

For the life of her, Sakura had no idea why fate had to be so fucking cruel to her. Never before had she felt anything even remotely similar as to what she had been feeling for that man for the past few weeks. She fucking hated it, especially because she was for sure one hundred per cent alone in whatever the hell that was. Not only was he her professor, which was more than enough reason for her to steer the fuck away, but he also _had_ to be dating.

Well, it’s not like he’d be interested in her even if that wasn’t the case.

Bottom line was, life sucked and fate was cruel to Haruno Sakura.

“Why _do_ you treat your students the way you do?” the question slipped out of Sakura’s mouth before she had been able to stop herself.

“In what way?” He kept his eyes trained on the way before them. “Too strict or too much of an asshole?”

Sakura glanced at him before answering, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she realised he was holding back one of his own.

“Second one.”

The smirk finally showed on Professor Hatake’s lips, making Sakura’s heart skip a beat as she forced herself to look away from him and focus on the path ahead of them. It should be illegal for anyone to be that fucking handsome.

“It just comes naturally.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t really have the patience required to teach. A lot of the work involves being attentive to the students and helping them out but I just lose it at the first stupid question.”

“Why did you start teaching, then?”

She immediately saw she'd asked something she shouldn’t have. As the silence stretched between them, Sakura looked to the side once again to check on him. Professor Hatake still didn’t look angry but she saw the change on his face as she looked up at his profile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” He kept his eyes trained on their path, shaking his head. “It's just never what I'd intended to do.”

Sakura decided against asking any further questions on the subject since it was more than clear she had stepped into forbidden territory.

“Why do you want to be a doctor?”

“It was just the natural choice once I started thinking about careers.” She shrugged. “Something in my nature, I don’t know.”

“Do you know what area you want to work in?”

“Not really,” she softly laughed, shaking her head. “I guess I’ll know after some time in med school.”

Sakura caught Professor Hatake giving her a sideways glance and she shrugged in response.

“It’s not like I need to have it all figured out by now. I _have_ time, you know?”

“I didn’t say anything.” he now had an amused grin on his face. “It’s funny how often you do that.”

“Do _what_?”

“Take silence as criticism. You get really defensive.”

Sakura scoffed, rolling her eyes at him. As much as she tried, though, she couldn’t get truly mad at him at the moment. The yellow light from the posts illuminated the street two blocks ahead of hers as they got closer and closer to her place with each step they took. As foolish as it was, she really didn’t want their walk to come to an end.

“We need to turn here.” She nodded with her head to the left as they reached the next corner.

Professor Hatake had both hands stuffed deep into his pockets the entire time they’d been walking. He continued to abide by the pace of her shorter legs as they once again landed on a comfortable silence. Sakura couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking of. 

Was it even _remotely_ possible she was on his mind just as he was on hers?

“I can’t believe you had the audacity to say you live close to the bar.”

She looked up at him to see him shaking his head in disbelief.

“Hey, I told you there was no need to walk me home.”

“Relax, Haruno, I’m not complaining.” his voice drawled as he looked up at the dark windows above them. “I just can’t believe you walk this far at this time multiple times a week. Alone.”

“I’m used to it, it’s fine.”

Professor Hatake hummed in response, lowering his head again to look at the sidewalk ahead of them. And it was at that moment that a horrible thought crossed Sakura’s mind, making her eyes widen involuntarily. What if his date was at that very moment waiting for him to get back and he’d gotten stuck walking Sakura home out of politeness?

Would he even _do_ that? 

Was he that big of a gentleman to bother walking her home at five in the morning when he had a gorgeous blonde waiting for him back home?

“Something wrong?” he asked.

Sakura did her very best to force her face into a normal expression but Professor Hatake’s curious frown as he watched her made it impossible.

“I’m sorry if I ruined your night.”

“Hm?”

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she felt that fucking annoying heat climbing up her neck again.

“I just realised your date is probably waiting for you and you’re wasting your time walking me home. I’m sorry.”

Professor Hatake hummed in response, making Sakura close her eyes in sheer embarrassment. Why the fuck had she even brought that up? 

What was _wrong_ with her?

Thankfully they’d be arriving at her building in a few minutes and it wouldn’t be long before she could scream her mortification into her pillow.

“You really spent hours in the same room as that thing was happening and thought it was going even remotely well?”

Sakura’s head whipped in his direction in surprise.

“I… I wasn’t watching.”

“Well, if you were you’d know how awful it was.”

Sakura did everything she possibly could to stop the smile threatening to form on her lips on its tracks.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she lied.

Professor Hatake shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I knew it was pointless.” He was silent for a few seconds before adding, “I’m glad I went, though.”

Sakura wasn’t sure at all what to answer to that.

“Well, yeah, it’s good that you gave it a try,” was what she settled for.

The intensity in his eyes as he looked down at her made her breath hitch and her heart leap inside her chest.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Sakura couldn’t form any coherent sentences in her head as she crossed the street in the direction of her building. She was well aware her face was literally burning up as she tried to convince herself he did _not_ mean what she now thought he did. Professor Hatake followed her in silence until she stopped in front of her building’s door. She fumbled around her bag looking for her keys and her hand grasped the familiar Konoha University keychain. He had stopped a few steps behind her, watching as she unlocked the door.

“Well, thanks again,” she managed to say as she turned around to face him, her hand grasping the knob with just a bit more force than necessary. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

His face was impossible to see as no light from the street posts reached him properly. She gave him what she hoped was a normal smile before throwing her door open, her heart heavy for reasons she didn’t quite know—or just chose to ignore.

“Haruno.”

Her entire body turned back to look at him again. It was now possible for her to see his face, faintly illuminated from the automatic light from her building’s lobby. Still, the additional lighting was as good as nothing since it was still impossible for her to read whatever it was that was stamped on his face.

“It wasn’t a waste of my time.”

Sakura nodded, her heart uncontrollably skipping several beats.

“Sakura.” the word stumbled out of her mouth before she could process it.

Professor Hatake raised a sharp eyebrow at her.

“You can call me Sakura.”

She thought her heart couldn’t possibly ever beat as fast as it did then as she watched him nod at her, his steady gaze never wavering from hers.

“Kakashi,” was all he said in return.

“Ok.” her voice was almost a whisper.

They stayed in silence staring at each other for what felt like a century but it honestly couldn’t have been more than a few short seconds. He was the first to move, both hands still placed deep into his pockets while he started to turn away in the direction they had just come from.

“Good night, Sakura.”

Never before in her life had Sakura enjoyed the sound of her own name as much as she did then. Hearing his voice say those too familiar syllables in that way she’d never quite heard before caused a chill to spread from the back of Sakura’s head all the way down her spine.

“Good night, Kakashi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say!!! I was giggling like a five-year-old when writing this.
> 
> once again thanks for the amazing reviews and kudos!!!! you guys never fail to make me smile! <3 <3 <3 
> 
> really looking forward to hearing your thoughts ;) x
> 
> -A


	10. entertainment

Sakura was nearly losing her goddamn mind the hour before her third supervision session with Professor Hatake.

 _Kakashi_.

A groan involuntary escaped her as her own mind corrected her.

For the past seven days, Sakura had recalled every single detail of their walk on the previous Friday. She relived every tease he'd made at her ridiculous attempts to avoid confrontation with him on the first day of lecture, the lazy slouch in his posture that would have been so unattractive on anyone else but on him looked so damn right, the deep baritone of his rare laugh that set off what felt like thousands of butterflies swirling in her stomach or the sly tilt of his lips that just seemed to sweep her off her feet. Top it off with the confidence that exhaled out of him and there was absolutely no going around it then.

She had it _bad_ for him.

“Yo, Sakura-chan!”

Her head whipped in the direction of Naruto’s voice and all of her friends were curiously staring at her from their places on the table, much to her mortification. The five of them were sitting on their usual table at Ichiraku’s, a discreet spot towards the back of the restaurant that offered them all the space and privacy they needed. The eight of them had never really managed to eat their lunches all together at the same time ever since their first semester because of their unhelpful schedules, which was sad enough as it was, but at least they’d managed to have enough of a presence at the restaurant that any member of their group could call that one table their own.

“Sorry.” Sakura smiled at them. “What’s up?”

Naruto had already put another mouthful of ramen in his mouth and mercifully didn’t answer her as he chewed. 

“Nothing,” Shikamaru drawled and Sakura fought to keep a normal expression on her face as he watched her with his calculative gaze. “Let’s just move on.”

“ _Fuck_ no, Nara.” Ino shook her finger at him and turned to her pink-haired friend. “Forehead, what do you think?”

Sakura blinked, not quite understanding what they were talking about. For just _how_ long had she been thinking of Kakashi?

“Is this about your party tomorrow?” Sakura asked tentatively.

“For fuck’s sake, Sakura, pay attention.” Ino rolled her blue eyes at her cluelessness. “ _Yes_ , should I call Temari?”

“Why is that even a question?” Sakura scoffed. “Who’s saying no?”

“Shikamaru!” Naruto pointed his chopstick in his friend’s direction accusingly. “The fucking coward.”

Sakura stifled a giggle as Shikamaru groaned on the seat next to her, muttering something about how troublesome the entire situation was. 

“Ok, Shika, you asked for it. Are you seriously going to pretend you didn’t spend Tuesday afternoon talking her up behind the Economies building?” Ino raised a thin eyebrow at him expectantly, meeting his narrowed look daringly, “ _Yeah_ , that’s right. You aren’t hiding shit from me.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Shika closed his eyes and leaned his head backwards to hit the wall behind his head.

Sakura took a sip of her drink as a means to hide her smirk from her friends. All she could do was be thankful Ino wasn’t railing _her_ for knowing all the juicy details and not sharing them with anyone else.

“What?" Tenten leaned forward and looked left on the table to find Shikamaru. “Is our boy really catching feelings for the gorgeous, completely out of his league girl?”

“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend to annoy?” Shikamaru fired back, not even bothering moving or opening his eyes to glare at her in the process.

Tenten huffed and mumbled something under her breath but Sakura was certain whatever it had been was better left unspoken. Her brunette friend’s on and off relationship with Neji had been going on for years and right now they were at a decidedly off period as they’d been ignoring each other for months, turning the entire subject into quite a touchy one.

“Pig, you have to invite Temari.” Sakura decided to shift the conversation back to its main topic. She couldn’t help but smile gleefully as Shikamaru ‘accidentally’ bumped her shoulder.

“Yay!” Ino clapped her hands, her glossed lips parting in a grin. “Ok, so, Sakura, you’re responsible for making sure Shika doesn’t bail tomorrow.”

Sakura turned her head and gently tapped Shikamaru’s cheek, making he shoot her a furious look in return.

“Oh, he will be there.” She couldn’t help but giggle at the resigned slump in his shoulders.

Slowly, their group’s numbers lowered as the minutes flew by and time for lectures arrived, and it got harder and harder for Sakura to ignore the flutter of anticipation on her stomach as she knew what was about to come.

For the first time since the semester started, Sakura hadn’t been able to focus one hundred per cent in Kakashi’s lectures for the past week. It had just become nearly impossible for her to not gaze at him while he was literally standing _right_ there. For the past seven weeks, Sakura had always _heard_ how he sounded while addressing his students and it had never failed to strike a chord inside of her. Yet, it had become considerably easier for her to turn her mind off about it since she just didn’t look up, refraining herself to just listening to what he was saying and _definitely_ not focusing on how smoothly his voice seemed to hit her ears or on the goosebumps that resulted from it.

But now that she’d submitted to her curiosity and decided to watch him while at it she just couldn’t take the image out of her mind, as much as she tried.

Everything about him, from the way the sleeves of his sinfully well-fitted shirts were always rolled up to his elbows—for fuck’s sake, _those arms_ —to the way his fingers would smoothly run through his perfectly dishevelled silver hair in exasperation at a stupid comment, and the purely intimidating and dominating energy he exhaled while standing in front of the rows of students was just way too fucking much for her.

Thankfully, the academic in Sakura knew she would never get distracted enough to actually let it interfere with her studies. All she needed to do was keep looking at her notebook, that’s all.

Now that she had gotten to see glimpses of the real Hatake Kakashi, though, she couldn’t help but start to properly analyse his behaviour during lectures. She still hadn’t been able to get any concrete answers out of him but she was surer than ever that he was _so_ much more than he let on. Maybe the way he intimidated his students was a way to not only make them work harder but to also separate himself from them. He’d said it himself teaching was never what he had intended to do, so maybe that was his way to distance himself from it.

Or maybe, he…

“What’s got you overthinking now?” Shikamaru asked her in a quiet voice.

Sakura blinked at him, her eyes involuntarily widening. For fuck’s sake, why did that keep happening? She wasn’t Kakashi’s shrink. She wasn’t _anything_ but his student and it’d do her damn well to remember it.

“I didn’t sleep well,” she lied.

Judging by the sly look Shika sent her, she knew he hadn’t been convinced by her excuse. Thankfully, though, he kept his thoughts to himself. Checking her watch, Sakura let out a sigh. Should she even bother being on time for their meeting? She definitely wasn’t in the mood to hang out at the emergency stairs again.

“I’ll be at your place at 9 tomorrow, ok?” she informed Shikamaru more than asked for permission.

He nodded, picking up his glass of water and taking a sip while Sakura stood up and grabbed her stuff. Of course, she would be on time, who the hell was she kidding? It was one thing to make Kakashi wait while at it but at least _she’d_ know she was there when she was supposed to be. There was a heavy feeling sitting on her chest and her stomach fluttered significantly as she put on her coat. Waving goodbye to her friends who still had time left to kill at the restaurant, Sakura made her way to the front door. Teuchi-san and Ayame were on the counter by the time she reached the knob and she smiled warmly at them, thanking them for the delicious meal.

The walk across campus was barely even registered in Sakura’s brain. All she could do was focus on not fucking up. She would walk into his office, sit down, discuss her research, and get the fuck out. As much as she wanted so, so bad to stay behind and talk to him and feel that heart-warming sensation she always felt when he smiled at something she said… she couldn’t. 

She wouldn’t.

Sure, she now knew he was single and yeah, for a second there she had the insane impression he had been glad to go on his pointless date because it had led to their walk in the end. But of course, that couldn’t have been the case. Sakura was clearly in way too much over her head, reading what she wanted to read out of the situation to suit her own stupid feelings. 

So, Sakura had to shut her craziness down. At _all_ costs.

As she pushed open the doors of the Administrative building, she groaned to see the elevator was up on the 9th floor, knowing it would take _forever_ to come down. Standing in front of the metal doors, Sakura did her very best to keep her mind blank while she waited. As it didn’t immediately work and thoughts of Kakashi started to slowly creep into her mind, she forced her mind to make a mental checklist of everything she needed to buy on her next trip to the grocery store.

 _Milk, eggs, tuna, pasta_...

After a small eternity had passed and she had simply run out of items to list in her mind, Sakura got sick of it and made the fit decision to just take the stairs. Turning around on her spot, she screamed and jumped back as the sight of someone standing directly behind her took her completely by surprise.

“You’re extra jumpy today, Sakura.”

Sakura closed her eyes and put a hand over her speeding heart, trying to keep her face from burning up. For fuck’s sake, she hadn’t even heard Kakashi walk in at _all_. How the hell was he that sneaky?

Her veins were practically overflowing with the sudden adrenaline but she knew at least a small reason of why she was blushing was a direct effect of the sound of his voice saying her name once again. Their entire conversation the previous week hadn’t been a dream after all.

“You’re just scaring me on purpose now,” she managed to say after a few seconds.

Looking up, she saw the smirk on Kakashi’s face. Her heart slightly jumped again but this time it had nothing to do with the scare he gave her.

“I won’t deny it’s really entertaining.”

She rolled her eyes at him and looked back as the elevator announced it had finally landed on the ground floor. They both walked in and Sakura immediately understood what _that_ meant as the doors slowly closed after he pressed the button to the third floor, too late for her to do anything about it and escape from what she was sure to become an excruciatingly difficult situation.

“The most surprising thing is that you’re _actually_ on time today.” Sakura praised herself for the normalness of her voice as she spoke, trying to distract her mind from the effects being in such close proximity with him was causing her.

All Kakashi did was hum in response but if Sakura hadn’t been actively avoiding looking at him she would have seen the smirk once again plastered on his face. She did _not_ need to see that at the moment, knowing full well it would only contribute to the inner torture she was facing. Being together entrapped on that metal box, it became excruciatingly impossible for her to _not_ notice his scent. She hated how her body immediately reacted to it, turning her on in a way that made it impossible for her to focus on anything other than the man standing next to her. He drove her completely insane and she prayed with all of her being that the elevator would just fucking _go faster_.

“What _shampoo_ do you use?”

His completely random question distracted Sakura enough for her to temporarily forget to not look at him.

“ _What_?” She turned her head sideways and up to meet his stare. It was impossible for Sakura to read his face as he looked down at her with deeply furrowed brows.

“Nevermind.” He shook his head, turning his head to face the doors again.

What the hell was _that_? What the fuck was wrong with her shampoo?

That question was thankfully taking up enough space in her head at the moment for her to be able to actively avoid focusing on the fact that Kakashi had also been thinking of her scent.

“Kakashi! You can’t just make that face at my shampoo and not tell me why.” She barely had any time to dwell on how bizarrely natural it felt for his name to slither out of her mouth and into her argument. It had rolled out of her tongue as if it was a name she had been saying for her entire life.

“I’m not making any faces at your shampoo.”

“Yes, you are!”

At that, Kakashi looked back at her for a few seconds before shrugging. 

“It’s nothing. I’ve been using that shampoo on Pakkun for the last couple of weeks and… well, you smell like him now.”

Sakura felt her jaw drop as she looked up at him. She could not believe for a single second that she’d heard him right. From all of the possibilities of answers she had come up with before he'd said anything, none of them was that she fucking smelled like his dog.

She furrowed her brows as a sudden thought popped up in her mind and told her his dog actually smelled like _her_. She’d been using that shampoo for ages and Kakashi said he’d only started using it on his dog for the past two weeks, so...

“You _do_ know that shampoo is meant for humans, right?” 

The elevator doors opened up on the third floor and Kakashi walked out before she did, completely ignoring what she’d said at first.

“It’s harmless for a short time.” His back was turned to her as he walked ahead of her down the hallway. “The pet shop I always buy his stuff at was closed for a few days and I had to improvise.”

“Is it the only pet shop in Konoha?”

Kakashi shot her a not impressed look as he stopped by the door to his office and pulled out the keys from his pocket.

“If you want to walk around the entire city and list to me all the addresses of pet shops, you’re more than welcome to,” he said.

It was Sakura’s time to chuckle. So _that_ was how Kakashi reacted to being annoyed. Finally being the one to put him in that position he put her so much in felt amazing for Sakura. Now she saw why he enjoyed bugging her so much.

It was _indeed_ really entertaining.

She followed him into his office and closed the door behind her, trying to swallow down her grin. Finally being at a safe distance away from him as Kakashi walked over to his desk, Sakura willed herself to get her shit together and stick to her plan. She had already monumentally failed at trying to shut down her craziness but she still had the opportunity to sit down, discuss her research, and get the fuck out of there before it could get any worse.

Kakashi had absolutely no idea Sakura had been slightly driving herself insane because of him and she’d rather die before letting him find out. She could deal with unreciprocated feelings just fine but that didn’t mean he would ever need to know about any of it.

In the end, their third supervision session went slightly different than the previous two. Sakura had taken the freedom to already start drafting the introduction part of her thesis with all the information she had up until that point, wishing to get direct feedback on the way she intended to write her work when the time actually came in the next few months. The two of them spent about one hour and a half going over it together, discussing each point at a time.

Even though she’d always deeply appreciated the respect he showed her by never interrupting her with his own thoughts as she spoke, she found out she really enjoyed holding an intellectual discussion with Kakashi. It was honestly fascinating to exchange arguments back and forth with him and every time they arrived at a mutual conclusion her heart jumped in her chest at the proud smiles they shared. For the first time in her life, Sakura experienced what it felt like to have an actual conversation about her academic field of choice with someone and not have to hold herself back to level down the discussion, and it felt so fucking _good_. 

By the time Kakashi handed her back the extra copy she’d made for him, Sakura had a satisfied smile on her lips. 

“This has everything to be a great thesis,” he said, casually leaning his chair back and studying her with his dark eyes. “Honestly, congratulations.”

“Congratulate me when it’s ready.” Her smile widened on her face. “But... thanks, Kakashi. Really.”

He hummed as he put the pen he’d been using to write notes on her draft back on its place and Sakura willed herself mentally to just stand up and leave. Their meeting was clearly over and she had no reason to continue sitting there.

Still, for the life of her, she couldn’t move a single muscle to do so.

“How was your walk back to your place last Friday?” she asked before she could stop herself.

 _For fuck’s sake, Sakura, where the fuck is your self-control?_ the voice in her head scolded her.

“Not particularly interesting.” Kakashi raised one slender eyebrow at her.

She knew he could sense she was building up to something and she was damn proud of herself for finally being able to read on his face a small flicker of what was going on in Kakashi’s mind.

“Hm,” Sakura nodded as she hummed, enjoying the way he suspiciously eyed her while clearly trying to figure out where she was getting at. “I hope it didn’t take too long.”

Kakashi didn’t answer at first. He continued to watch her intently for a few seconds before his lips broke into an irresistibly amused grin that made Sakura’s heart clench.

“How did you know?”

“You arrived from the opposite direction we took to my place.”

Kakashi leaned forward onto his desk, his eyes never leaving hers. His smile hadn’t left his lips and Sakura tried not to sigh at the sight.

“I didn’t want you to think walking you home would inconvenience me.” He shrugged.

“I know.” She smiled at him. “Thanks for that, I really appreciate it.”

Kakashi was silent for a while as he watched her intently. Sakura wasn’t sure if he had nothing left to say or was contemplating whether to ask something or not. Even though she couldn’t quite read him perfectly just yet, at least she’d learned how to figure out some stuff.

“I couldn’t help but wonder, though—” he leaned his chair back again but kept his eyes trained on hers—“doesn’t your boyfriend get worried about you walking alone so late at night?”

She frowned at him but before she could ask what the hell he was talking about the door behind her was thrown open suddenly, making Sakura jump on her chair.

“Surprise, surprise, _fucker_! I’m officially bored.”

Turning around to see who the hell had entered Kakashi’s office so rudely, she couldn’t say she was even slightly surprised to see his friend Genma standing there with a hand on the knob. The brown-haired man did look surprised to see her, though. She watched in amusement as his eyes momentarily widened as he realised Kakashi was on a meeting.

“Holy shit, I’m sorry.”

Sakura burst in uncontrollable laughter, turning back around to look at Kakashi. He had been staring at his friend with an incredulous look but moved his eyes to her as she started laughing. She saw his mouth shape into an involuntary smile as he watched her and the sight made her feel slightly out of breath.

It lasted barely a second, though, and soon enough he was blinking and moving his eye back to his friend.

“What the hell is _wrong_ with you, you idiot?” 

“I didn’t know you were busy!” She heard Genma say behind her and still couldn’t stop laughing. “You weren’t answering my texts.”

“That’s usually a sign someone is busy.”

“She’s laughing, see? It’s fine!”

Sakura turned around again to stare at Kakashi’s friend, still smiling as her laughter slowly died down.

“I should get going anyway,” she said as she collected the two drafts from the desk and started to put them inside her bag, still bursting into soft laughter now and then. “I have a few errands to run before my shift.”

“Great! That means you’re free, Bakashi.” Genma stuffed his hands into his pocket. “Come on, let’s hit it.”

Kakashi started to put his own stuff away as Sakura stood up and put on her coat. She couldn’t help but giggle at the way he kept shaking his head incredulously at his friend the entire time, mumbling stuff like ‘idiotic asshole’ and other words that weren’t any nicer. 

She quickly said goodbye to both of them as she slipped her bag’s strap over her shoulder and left the office with a smile stuck on her face. That smile soon enough turned into a confused frown as soon as she stepped into the open elevator that had been mercifully waiting on the third floor. She had just remembered what they were talking about before Genma’s entrance distracted her.

Why the hell did Kakashi think she had a boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo hello hello :D
> 
> I know you guys are going to KILL me because Sakura didn't get to tell Kakashi she's single AHAHAHAHAHA I'm so sorry for dragging this on so much, you guys have to trust me that what I have planned for the near future will be SUPER FUCKING WORTH IT.
> 
> so this chapter was meant to be A LOT longer than it actually is but I decided to split what I had into two AGAIN. and yup, you'll understand why as soon as chapter 11 is out. I'm still working on it (I'm really fucking nervous about it, I can't help it) but I don't think it will be too long before I get the guts to post it.
> 
> once again, I'd like to thank you all lovely people for the reviews and kudos! thank you thank you thank you, you guys are absolutely the fucking best.
> 
> I wish you guys a fantastic week and hope you enjoyed this chapter <3 x
> 
> -A


	11. suggestion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings pertinent to this chapter can be found at the end notes.
> 
> a huge thanks to Ana and Lovelydays1 for the insane amount of patience, help, and support they gave me to publish this chapter!

A little past midnight the next Friday, Sakura found herself almost drowning at work as the number of people at the Rusty Kunai came to its peak. She had been making really good money with tips, though, since a lot of the more articulate drinks had been widely requested by the sorority girls present.

Sakura sighed in relief as a girl approached the bar and only asked for a dirty martini. She could really use a break from the worrisome drinks for a while.

“If I have to make another Piña Colada I’m quitting. It’s _winter_ for fuck’s sake.”

She laughed at Kiba’s complaints while he grabbed one of the bottles behind her. 

“Shut up, they’re tipping well.” Sakura jokingly elbowed his ribs.

He rolled his eyes at her and made his way back to where he had been standing by the counter to prepare the orders he had taken from a group of girls.

Taking advantage of the momentary peace, Sakura risked another quick glance at the corner of the restaurant where she knew Genma was standing. She had noticed him walk into the bar almost an hour before and had foolishly been looking forward to seeing Kakashi join him since then. Genma was apparently on a date with a girl, though, and his silver-haired friend was nowhere to be seen.

Forcing herself to focus on her job again, Sakura delivered the dirty martini to the waiting girl and took her money. As she was counting the tip she’d gotten, a male drawling voice made her look up.

“Busy night, huh, _Pinkie_?”

As her eyes focused on the smirking dude with sandy messy hair standing on the other side of the counter, she recognised him from a few other nights at the bar. He was clearly a frat guy and was wearing a jacket that indicated he belonged to the track team of Konoha University.

“Yeah, it is.” Sakura did everything she could to ignore the ‘Pinkie’ and keep a polite expression on her face as she put her tip money on the back pocket of her black jeans. “What can I help you with?”

“Well, gorgeous, I can think of a few things.” His eyes roved up and down her body, making Sakura’s skin crawl uncomfortably. “We can start simple. How much for a kiss?”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head.

“Are you going to order a drink or not?”

“Hey, why the attitude?” He raised his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just curious to see what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”

Not saying anything else, Sakura marched over to where Kiba stood working on a few cocktails. She put a hand on his shoulder and patiently waited for him to turn his head in her direction without breaking his concentration.

“Can you take care of the jackass’ order over there? He’s harassing me.”

Kiba immediately nodded and instructed Sakura on what he had been working on for a group of girls. She took over where he left off and remained on the right side of the counter while Kiba took her place on the left. Unfortunately, Sakura had become quite used to drunk assholes taking more liberties than they should with her. They always stopped after she switched places with her male coworkers, though, and nothing else had ever come out of it. It didn’t mean she felt any less bothered by it each time it happened. Most men were pigs and her work reminded her of that more often than she’d like.

Still, the incident was soon brushed to the back of Sakura’s mind as another half hour went by. The bar was busier and noisier as it peaked on the typical Friday night and Sakura desperately needed to pee. She’d gotten quite good at learning how to function with a full bladder over the past year, especially since she usually couldn’t just abandon the counter to pee when it was too busy, but right then Sakura knew she was reaching her limit.

“Hey, can you two hold it together for five minutes?” she asked Kiba while she pointed to the bathroom with her thumb.

Her friend took a look at the new bartender they had been training for the past few weeks. The new kid was slightly struggling with one of the orders he’d gotten but seemed to be able to survive for five minutes, so Kiba turned back around to shrug and nod at Sakura. She took the cue and left the counter from the end of the right side and made her way to the ladies room. The bar was pretty packed but at that point in her life, Sakura was more than used to dodging the crowd of people as efficiently as possible.

Sakura turned the knob and threw the door to the bathroom open, immensely thankful for a few moments of silence as the hundreds of voices became faint background noise after the door shut behind her. The bathroom was completely empty and it didn’t take long for Sakura to take care of her business. She heard the door to the bathroom open and close as she flushed the toilet and could only hope it wasn’t anyone about to throw up.

Sakura left her stall and walked across the bathroom to the sinks. She really appreciated how the Rusty Kunai strived to always keep their bathrooms clean and replenished, even though it was a bar mainly frequented by drunk students. As she wiped her hands on the paper towels after washing them, Sakura raised her eyes up to the mirror and immediately noticed the guy that had harassed her earlier standing by the bathroom door, watching her in silence.

She turned around as her heart nearly leapt out of her chest, a scream stuck on her throat and the paper towels falling to the floor.

“Took you long enough, Pinkie.”

Her hand tightened on the edge of the marble sink behind her, her panicked mind trying to figure out what to do. He had been clearly drunk earlier and had definitely followed her in there with ulterior purposes on his mind. Sakura knew screaming would be absolutely useless since the walls of the bar were really thick and the noise outside was way too loud for anyone to actually hear her.

“Let me out.” Sakura flinched at the blatant fear she heard in her own voice.

He gave her a drunken, wolfish grin in return that made the hairs on her arms stand up.

“Hey, there’s no need to play hard to get, gorgeous.” there was a clear slur on his voice as his eyes roved up and down her body. “I saw you checking me out before.”

He started making his way to her and Sakura felt her own eyes widen. 

“No, no,” she tried reasoning with him, fighting to remain as calm as she could. “I didn’t. Just please let me out.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He waved his hand dismissively as he continued to walk towards her. “I got you, Pinkie, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Her breathing was now coming out in shallow, rapid breaths as Sakura blindly reached behind her back to try to locate the metal soap holder that rested next to the tap of the porcelain sink. Her hand brushed against the holder’s cold surface and she quickly grabbed it, not wasting any seconds before moving away from the sink in the direction of the furthest possible corner in the bathroom.

He scowled at her as she put more distance between them. Was he really that delusional—and drunk—to believe she wanted him too?

There was no way out for Sakura, not unless she ran past him and there was no space to safely dodge. The jock was clearly beyond wasted but Sakura had no doubts he’d had no trouble in grabbing her if she were to run in his direction. Never before in her entire life had Sakura experienced fear such as she did now. Her entire body was shaking uncontrollably as her back hit the cold tile wall behind her.

“Get out!” Sakura screamed, her hand grasping the soap holder behind her back so tightly she could feel it cutting into her fingers where they were wrapped around it.

“Stop with the fucking attitude, you bitch.” He stopped walking to speak, shaking his head at her. “Stared me up all night and now pretends you don’t wan’ it? _Fuck off_.”

Sakura held her breath as she waited to see if he’d become irritated enough to just leave her the fuck alone. Apparently, though, he took her silence as a twisted version of consent and advanced in her direction again.

Sakura didn’t hesitate in throwing the metal holder straight at him with all of her strength. All she could hear was her own heartbeat echoing loudly in her ears as the object propelled across the air and she watched with wide eyes as the edge of the metal holder hit the guy right on the bridge of his nose.

“What the fuck!” he screamed as his hand flew straight to the cut that had resulted from the impact.

The soap holder clanged loudly as it hit the floor and for a few seconds Sakura couldn’t breathe even if she tried to. His injury did nothing to incapacitate him as she’d blindly hoped, though. His blue eyes were glued on Sakura’s with pure rage in them as blood trailed down his face and hand, dripping crimson on the white floor. 

Sakura only realised she’d started crying when she felt the tears sliding down her own cheeks. There was nothing left to throw at him and she could only hope he’d decide to leave and look for medical help.

“You fucking filthy bitch,” he snarled after a few seconds of silence and launched himself in her direction.

Her heart nearly jumped out of her throat as she instinctively jumped to the side to escape his hands, falling on the floor as she failed to steadily land on her feet. Before any sound could leave her mouth, though, a loud noise made Sakura reflexively flinch. 

It took her a second to realise the bathroom door had been kicked open from the outside. Sakura’s eyes were wide as she caught sight of Genma running into the room, his eyes narrowing as they focused on Sakura’s attacker.

“What the _fuck_ is going _on_ here?”

She had barely understood the words as they came out of Genma’s mouth, the dizziness she’d been keeping at bay taking the best of her and making her hear every sound around her as if she were underwater. 

At that moment, Sakura fully understood she was safe. 

She braced her weight against the floor and moved to a sitting position with her back against the cold wall, the contrast of temperature keeping her grounded. She allowed the relief and the tears to wash over her as her head dropped on her arms and she hugged her knees close to her chest. Sakura didn’t care what they would do to take that guy out of there, she didn’t care at all. All it mattered was that she was ok. She had no idea how much time had passed as she sat there trying to calm herself down but soon enough her mind recognized a vaguely familiar voice speaking to her.

“Hey, are you ok? Did he touch you?”

Sakura raised her head and focused her eyes on Genma, who was now crouched in front of her. His brows were furrowed in worry as he studied her for any sign of injury.

“No, he… he didn’t.” She shook her head. “Thank you for...” Her throat clenched and she couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Hey, there’s no need for that.” Genma’s eyes were full of sympathy and his voice was gentle and understanding. “Your fingers, how did that happen?”

Sakura frowned and looked down at her right hand. She vaguely remembered feeling a sharp pain on her fingers as she tightly clutched the metal soap holder but she hadn’t realised it had actually drawn blood, yet there were continuous thin cuts on all the fingers of her right hand. They didn’t hurt, though, and she doubted the adrenaline would allow her to feel anything at the moment anyway.

“It’s pretty shallow, I’ll be fine,” Sakura managed to say after she analysed her fingers briefly.

“Can you stand up?” Genma asked. “Do you want to go home? What do you want to do?”

Sakura shook her head again, brushing the tears away and then pressing her uninjured hand to the floor so she could stand up. Genma was quick to offer her a hand but she didn’t need it.

“I can’t go home.” she tried to keep her voice steady as she swallowed her tears. “Still have three hours to go before closing time.”

Sakura looked past Genma’s shoulder and saw the bathroom was now empty, a small amount of blood crimson dark against the white tiles of the floor where the metal soap holder had fallen. 

“Sakura!” Kiba burst into the room and Sakura watched as his eyes widened when he caught sight of her. “Holy _shit_ , your face.”

“It’s from her fingers, he didn’t hurt her,” Genma was quick to explain.

Frowning, Sakura turned her head to the side to check herself on one of the mirrors. Her face was streaked with the blood from her fingers from where she had just brushed her tears away and all she could do was nod at Kiba to assure him she was fine.

“Where is he?” she asked both of them.

“He was kicked out by security,” Genma said. 

“ _And_ banned permanently,” Kiba added. “Someone drove him to a hospital though. He was bleeding a lot.”

“He’ll be fine.” Genma waved a hand dismissively. “Cuts to the bridge of the nose bleed a lot but it’s nothing major. He deserved worse.”

It took a few seconds before Kiba spoke again.

“Sakura, can I get you anything? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just… holy fuck.” She closed her eyes for a second to try to gather her thoughts. Her entire body was still shaking and she could feel the adrenaline rushing through her veins.

“You should go home.” Genma crossed his arms, his brows furrowing. “You shouldn’t be expected to work after going through that.”

“I’ll call Shou.” Kiba fished his phone out of his pocket. “I’m sure he’ll let you go.”

Sakura didn’t even try to protest. She really _did_ want to go home. A few minutes later, her boss had basically ordered her to do so. She nearly fell back into tears as Kiba handed her the phone and her boss told her she would still be paid for the full hours and reassured her if she decided to go to the police to press charges the Rusty Kunai would support her one hundred per cent. 

The first thing Sakura did after speaking to her boss was dial Shikamaru’s number on her phone. She knew she had woken him up with the call but after explaining what had happened she didn’t even need to ask him to pick her up before her friend announced he was already halfway through the door. 

Thank fuck for good friends.

Knowing it’d be around twenty minutes until he arrived—he did have longer legs than she did and when he actually bothered he could walk really fast—Sakura took her time to get herself back together as much as she could at the moment. After properly cleaning up and tending to the cuts on her fingers with the first aid kit of the bar, Sakura washed her face free of any remaining blood.

Leaving the bar’s keys with Kiba for him to close up for the night, Sakura made her way outside, unable to stay inside the hot and humid bar for a second longer. Even though she told him there was no need, Genma ignored her and kept her company outside while she waited for Shikamaru to arrive. Sakura really appreciated how he didn’t try to talk or cheer her up at any moment and just made sure she knew she wasn’t alone.

As she saw Shikamaru turn the corner on the end of the street, she turned to Genma with a smile she could only hope didn’t look as sad as she feared it did.

“Thank you, again. Really.”

“Is that him?” He pointed at Shikamaru as he crossed the street a few meters away.

She nodded.

“Ok.” Genma nodded in return. “Don’t worry about it, ok? I’m really sorry you had to go through that.”

Sakura felt the tears start to cloud her vision again as her throat burned and tightened. Genma gave her a sympathetic smile and remained by her side as her friend approached them.

The first thing Shika did when he finally reached them was pull Sakura into a tight hug. At the rare display of affection from her best friend, she couldn’t help but let the tears fall freely down her face again. He hugged her through it all, not saying anything until she pulled away. She laughed softly at the wet stain she’d left on his jacket but Shika didn’t seem to mind.

“Come on.” He placed one hand into his pockets and pointed with the other one to the street behind him. “We can stop by that 24 hours store on the 7th, they sell ice cream there.”

Sakura nodded at him, a genuine smile forming on her lips for the first time since she'd walked into that bathroom. She would kill for some ice cream.

Turning around to thank Genma one more time, she noticed he had already walked inside. Thanking him mentally, Sakura fell into step next to Shika, wanting nothing more than to wrap herself up in the comforting warmth of her bed and stuff her face full of the ice cream she'd been promised.

.

.

.

Tenzou was responsible for their February dinner/drinking session on Saturday. Kakashi was the first one to arrive at his friend's apartment, nearly dying for any distractions against the incessant thoughts that had plagued his mind all day long. For the first time in weeks, Kakashi had spent the entire day completely alone—with Pakkun, of course, but the pug, unfortunately, couldn’t entertain him with verbal distractions—and had nearly driven himself insane. He knew he would have been able to count on Genma distracting him as he usually did, yet Tenzou’s dinner would be the first time Kakashi would be seeing his friend ever since Genma left his studio the night before to go on his date. It was pretty common for Genma to be gone for twenty-four hours or more, especially when women are involved, but Kakashi couldn’t help but curse his friend’s timing—not that Genma actually _knew_ , which made it impossible for Kakashi do actually blame him.

Those past two weeks had been excruciating to Kakashi at every possible level. For starters, he had spent the entire time after having walked Sakura home two Fridays before worrying about how vulnerable she constantly was to danger. How the _fuck_ did Uchiha Sasuke even sleep at night knowing his girlfriend was alone fending off for herself on the streets at 5 in the morning?

What a fucking _shitty_ boyfriend. She deserved much better than that and it frustrated Kakashi to no end that she didn’t see it.

As if that nearly constant worry wasn’t enough, the second excruciating factor in Kakashi’s week served only to kick him while he was already down. For the first time since classes started, Sakura had for some goddamned reason decided to watch him while he taught his lectures. The sight of her jade eyes intently studying him from her place on the front row was more than enough to nearly throw Kakashi off his game, but thankfully, it never did. He managed to keep his cool just fine as long as he didn’t allow himself to even glance at her, which was lowkey pathetic in Kakashi’s handbook.

And then, to top it all off, _of fucking course_ the shampoo he’d picked for Pakkun a few weeks before had to be the same one she used. He remembered how he had immediately known it was the right choice as he had sniffed the contents of the bottle at the supermarket but Kakashi hadn’t quite been able to place his finger on why the hell he was so fond of that scent. It should have been obvious to him. Perhaps it had been pure denial that clouded his judgement. Regardless, it didn’t matter. 

It didn’t matter because, to make matters a billion times worse, Kakashi had let Sakura _know_ about it.

On that morning, Kakashi had taken advantage of the empty studio to carry on with his morning routine as he usually would if Genma hadn’t been staying with him. Sure enough, sharing his workout routine with his friend for the past weeks had been immensely fun. Still, Kakashi was a lone wolf by nature. There was no changing that. Kakashi had always preferred to train in the early hours when there wasn’t anyone around to bother him. He did so every single day, always out on the street before the sun was out to take his daily run in the woods and then train for a while at the boxing gym around the corner of his block. 

While sparring with Genma had always been one of their favourite things to do ever since they were younger, Genma had been taking full advantage of his days off and liked to sleep in whenever he could. That meant Kakashi now waited for his friend to wake up so they could go run in the woods and then spend a few hours sparring at the boxing gym on the days he didn’t have any early classes to teach and could afford to hang around his studio until the late hours of the morning.

After years of working out at the boxing gym religiously every single day, the place had become a sort of sanctuary for him. Kakashi had become good enough friends with the owner so that he actually gave Kakashi a key so he could let himself in and use the gym alone in the early mornings.

On that particular Saturday morning, Kakashi had been out on the street at shortly past 5 am. He had spent hours pushing himself to his furthest limit, eager to see whether exhausting himself physically would mean achieving some peace of mind in the end. It didn't. Still, Kakashi was glad he’d tried. The endorphins he’d released made his day significantly better than it would have been had he not worked out at all.

He _hated_ having someone under his skin like that. He felt completely ridiculous as he was clearly in way too much over his head in the entire situation. Sakura had absolutely no idea of the effect she had on him. Every single time Kakashi heard his own name roll out of her tongue in that way only she managed to say, he felt like he’d died and reached paradise.

And that was why he needed distractions, hence arriving earlier at Tenzou’s place.

As Saturday started coming to an end, Kakashi did his best to help Tenzou with dinner. His friend was well aware of Kakashi’s cooking abilities—or lack thereof—and didn’t leave him responsible for anything extremely essential for the meal. Kakashi didn’t mind, though. It suited him well enough. When the meal was nearly ready, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai were all busy setting the table while Tenzou added red wine to the sauce he’d been making. Kakashi never would have thought of adding wine to any recipe but, apparently, it was a thing.

The sound of the doorbell announced Genma’s arrival to the group. As the brown-haired guy walked into Tenzou’s apartment and grabbed a beer for himself after saying hello to everyone, Kakashi took a sip of his own drink.

“Well, you know the situation is bad when you’re later than Kakashi.” Genma clinked his own beer with Kakashi’s.

“He was actually the first one here,” Tenzou offered from his spot next to the stove. “Fucking freaky.”

“Doesn’t it ever occur to you I might have just missed you, Tenzou?” Kakashi asked, earning snickers from his friends and a front-row view to Tenzou’s middle finger. 

“And why are _you_ late?” Kurenai asked from where she leaned against Tenzou’s kitchen counter.

“What do you think?” Genma smirked.

“Date must have been good, huh?” Kakashi turned to his friend. “Almost twenty-four hours with her.”

“Holy shit.” Asuma grinned. “Couldn’t get enough, huh?”

“Well, can you blame her?” Genma opened his arms wide.

Kakashi chuckled, shaking his head. It didn’t take long for all of them to settle around the table and start eating, enjoying each other’s company as they always did. Even though he’d spent many years not quite giving them much attention, Kakashi had always been extremely thankful for the inseparable bond between his group of friends. He honestly didn’t know what would have become of him if they hadn’t been there for him all those years before as his entire life was turned upside down.

The subject of their conversation went from Kakashi’s date a few weeks before all the way to the advances of Tenzou’s research project he’d been working on for the past few years. Kakashi knew it had something to do with Botanics but for the life of him, he had no idea how to explain anything else about it.

“What about you, Genma?” Kurenai pointed at their friend with the bottom of her beer bottle before taking a sip from it. “Enjoying your last weeks here before you go back to duty?”

“Yeah, sure.” Genma shrugged. “It’s going by pretty fast, though.”

Kakashi raised his eyebrows as his friend then yawned for what felt like the billionth time that night.

“Didn't sleep well, Genma?" Gai asked as he cut a piece of his chicken on his place.

Genma’s hesitation to answer made Kakashi frown. Knowing his friend, Genma wouldn’t have wasted a single beat before letting out a joke about how he’d been way too busy with whoever he’d been on the date to even think about sleep. But instead, Genma just took a sip of his own beer, with something clearly bothering him on his mind.

“Genma?” Kurenai asked, also sensing something was off.

“It’s just… Something really shitty happened last night. I couldn’t really sleep after it.”

“What? With your girl?” Gai asked.

“No, no.” He shook his head and then stared at Tenzou and Kakashi. “With the bartender at the Rusty Kunai. Your student, the one with the pink hair.”

If it hadn’t been for his years on the special forces, Kakashi wouldn’t have been able to hide his gut reaction to what Genma had just said. On the outside, he managed to keep a straight face, merely frowning at his friend across the table.

On the inside, it felt like his heart had simply decided to stop beating.

“Wait, what?” Tenzou asked, setting down his cutlery. “Haruno? Is she ok?”

Genma sighed before answering, making Kakashi want to strangle him for not going straight to the fucking point.

“Well, I was at the Rusty Kunai, right? I saw a guy sneaking into the women’s bathroom after she walked in there. I thought it might have been a mistake at first but when he didn’t come out after seeing he walked into the wrong bathroom, I went to check it out and the door was locked from the inside.”

“Oh no,” Kurenai said, but Kakashi barely registered it.

For a second, the entire world seemed to freeze around him. He could hear his own heartbeat thumping on his ears and barely felt it as his hands tightened around the fork he’d been holding.

“Yeah.” Genma nodded, sighing. “He was clearly really fucking wasted. Still, I was literally just in time. If I had taken five more seconds to kick the door open he would have gotten to her. Sick fuck.”

“That’s horrible!” Tenzou exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“Did he hurt her?” Gai inquired, the chicken completely forgotten on his plate.

“No, I arrived before he could. But she did fuck his face up, though. She threw one of those metal soap holders at him and it cut him here.” Kakashi saw Genma indicating the bridge of his nose but couldn’t have reacted even if his brain wasn’t literally short-circuiting as it was at that moment.

He just couldn’t accept anything Genma had just said. He just couldn’t.

“Ouch,” Asuma whistled. “Once I cut myself there when I was playing basketball. I swear I’ve never seen that much blood come out of me like it did then.”

Now that the subject had shifted into past injuries, Kakashi’s brain simply decided to shut down his hearing senses as his mind processed what Genma had just shared with the table. As the news finally sunk into his mind and he understood what they meant, Kakashi couldn’t breathe at all. 

“What happened then?” he heard his own steady voice asking, his hands slightly shaking now. He let go of the fork and lowered both hands down to his lap, fighting to keep his face under control.

“Huh, she was sent home for the night,” Genma answered, frowning at Kakashi since he had clearly interrupted Gai as he told a story he hadn’t been listening to. “Her boss will pay her as if she’d worked the full hours.”

“That’s really nice of them.” Kurenai nodded in approval.

Kakashi knew she was right but he just couldn’t care at the moment. Not until he knew Sakura was safe.

“How did she get home?” Kakashi heard the strain in his own voice and hoped his friends wouldn’t notice, not that he actually gave a shit at the moment.

“She called her friend and he picked her up. Seemed like a cool guy.”

After knowing she had gotten home safely, Kakashi finally managed to let out the breath he’d been holding. Once again his mind independently decided to tune out the outside world so he could calm himself down. 

Kakashi was horrified she had been forced to live through something like that and it broke his heart to know that if Genma hadn’t been there, the worst would have most likely happened. Even though it was indeed good that she’d managed to hurt the guy trying to protect herself, it clearly hadn’t been enough.

Kakashi knew he wouldn’t be able to rest until he saw with his own eyes that Sakura was ok.

.

.

.

The two following days were absolute torture to Kakashi. There wasn’t a single second of the past forty-eight hours he hadn’t spent thinking of Sakura and what she had gone through. If he'd thought his mind was already completely taken over by thoughts of her before, he had _no_ idea what had been in store for him. Kakashi hadn’t been able to sleep, eat, or properly function like a normal human being at all while his mind ran through all the information he had over and over again. 

For the first time on his seven years of teaching, Kakashi arrived on time to his Tuesday class. He easily ignored the student’s surprised looks at seeing him strolling into the classroom at 9:01, his eyes focusing on the only face that mattered to him.

Sakura’s pink eyebrows were raised high on her forehead as she looked at him, her mouth slightly open in surprise and he couldn’t help but sigh in relief as his eyes locked on her jade ones. Kakashi had been literally fidgeting non-stop for the past two days and was finally able to stand still as he saw with his own eyes that Sakura was sitting right there, perfectly safe. A frown took over his features as he caught sight of the pink band-aids on all of the fingers of her right hand, though. Had she actually gotten hurt after all? If so, Genma had horribly failed to mention it.

Kakashi was quick to avert his eyes as he laid his stuff down on his desk and wasted no seconds before jumping into neuroendocrine systems and the functions of thyroid hormones. He had three more hours to kill before he could talk to her properly and the faster he spoke the quicker he’d get it over with.

As half of the lecture went by and he dismissed the class for a quick break, Kakashi decided against approaching her then. There were still a few students hanging out in the class and he didn’t want to have to hurry with what he had to say to her. During the fifteen minutes of break, he did his best to not stare at Sakura as she worked on something on her laptop and decided to busy himself with his own phone. Genma always had his phone around him and most of the time had something ridiculous going on in his life to entertain Kakashi for a while.

It made him chuckle to remember Sakura speaking on her phone alone back on the first day of classes. At least he was avoiding her by actually speaking to someone real.

As the second half of the lecture mercilessly dragged itself by, Kakashi’s anticipation grew exponentially. Unfortunately for his students, that meant the patience he possessed to put up with their bullshit was a lot shorter than it usually was—and it had never been particularly high to begin with. By the end of the three hours, Kakashi had called out seven students for texting in his class, which was a behaviour he usually tended to ignore. If students didn’t want to pay attention to his lectures, that was on them. They’d be the ones who would need to retake it all anyway.

And people dared ask Kakashi why he hated students.

As he dismissed the class for the day, Kakashi shot Sakura a look which he could only hope made her understand he wanted to talk. He watched as she slightly frowned at him but was glad she started to slow down the pace at which she put her stuff away. Just like they always did, the rest of the students were out of the auditorium classroom as quickly as humanly possible, leaving Sakura and Kakashi alone. 

He watched as she stood up from her seat and slung both her coat and the strap of her messenger bag over her forearm, curiously staring at him. Kakashi waited for her to make her way to his desk while standing on the other side of it, with both stuffed both hands into his trousers’ pockets. His chest clenched as Sakura looked up at him with uncertainty in her jade eyes and placed a strand of her pink hair behind her ear.

“Something wrong?” she asked him as soon as she stopped on the other side of the wooden table.

He sighed as he prepared himself mentally for the uncomfortable conversation ahead.

“Genma told me what happened.”

Kakashi watched as Sakura’s shoulders slouched and her eyes moved away from his to look down.

“I’m really sorry that happened to you, Sakura. Are you ok?”

She nodded, her eyes finding their way to meet his again. It broke his heart to see the hurt in them.

“It’ll get better,” she said, a sad smile on her lips.

It was Kakashi’s turn to nod at her. 

“What happened to your fingers?”

Sakura looked down at her right hand and studied it for a second before looking back up at him again.

“I cut them when I was grabbing the soap holder. It’s fine, though. I just keep using the band-aids because it hurts to hold a pen.”

All Kakashi could do was hum at her. It absolutely fucking _sucked_ that Sakura had to deal with physical injuries added to the emotional baggage the incident must have left on her. The thought of what she’d gone through once again tore Kakashi’s heart to pieces, and it worried him even more to know that if Genma hadn’t been there to stop it, there was no telling what would have happened.

Kakashi had no idea how to tackle the subject he’d been thinking of for the past forty-eight hours in a gentle way so he decided to just cut to the chase.

“Sakura, why don’t you take self-defence classes?”

He watched as her mouth opened slightly as she processed what he asked.

“Oh." She had clearly been taken by surprise and blinked once before fully answering him. "Well… I’ve wanted to, actually, for months now. But I can’t afford it right now.”

“But surely you can see how important it is to know how to defend yourself on your own in situations like that.”

Kakashi’s heart clenched as Sakura closed her eyes and pursed her lips.

“I know, Kakashi.” Her voice was cold and had a slight edge to it. “Trust me, I know.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, running his hand up his face before placing it back into his pocket. “I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you to go through something like that, I’m just… I’m worried.”

Kakashi fought against the frown that instinctively followed the words he hadn’t been able to process before saying. He had never been a man who felt comfortable disclosing his own feelings to others—or even understanding them himself—and he couldn’t help but wonder why the fuck he had done it now.

Sakura had opened her eyes to study him cautiously as soon as the first words of apology had left his mouth. A wave of apprehension washed through Kakashi as he feared her to lash out at him. She had done so multiple times before for a lot less.

“It’s ok.” Sakura gave him a sad smile that felt like a knife to his gut. 

He was barely able to hold back the exhale that followed the wave of relief that washed through him at her reaction. Still, Kakashi never wanted to see that smile on her face again.

“But as I said—” Sakura moved her coat to her other forearm and slung the strap of her messenger bag over her left shoulder—"I can’t afford any self-defence classes now. I live completely off my own money and have just enough to survive and pay the bills each month, so...”

He wondered why Sakura couldn’t ask her parents for any financial help but decided against questioning her about it. He was certain that if she had the possibility of counting on their help she would have asked them already.

It was at that very same second that Kakashi made a split decision and heard himself saying what he had never, ever, planned to.

“I can teach you some things.”

After it was out of his mouth, Kakashi did everything he could to keep the instantaneous _what-the-actual-fuck-is-wrong-with-you_ mental rant that had exploded in his mind from showing on his face. Deep down, though, he knew he’d made the right call. Sure, he was highly aware that if she did accept his offer they would end up spending a lot more time together and it would most likely become unbearably more difficult for him to be able to keep her away from his mind, but _still_.

Kakashi swallowed down his uneasiness right then as he told himself Sakura's safety and wellbeing were far more important than any of the crazy shit that had been brewing inside of him for the past weeks. So what if he’d have a few more sleepless nights? At least Sakura would be able to defend herself on her own.

It had been eight long years since he’d been discharged from duty but he hadn’t been known and feared across all nations as Kakashi of a Thousand Kills for no reason.

There was no one better suited to teach Sakura self-defence than Hatake Kakashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains an attempted sexual assault and depictions of blood.  
> ...
> 
> oh god ok
> 
> hi everyone!
> 
> wow. I know.
> 
> so I really don't know what to say now so I'm just gonna sit and wait for the response this chapter gets.
> 
> once again, a huuuuuge thanks for the lovely reviews and kudos!
> 
> love you guys to bits, and hope you enjoyed it <3 x
> 
> -A


	12. zero hour

_What_?

No. Sakura couldn’t have possibly heard him right. 

Kakashi’s face was absolutely impossible to read as she looked at him from across the wooden desk, his charcoal eyes never wavering from hers. It took her at least three heartbeats to accept he wasn’t joking. Did he understand what he had just offered to do? Did he understand what it _meant_?

 _Of course, he doesn’t, you idiot_ , Sakura’s inner voice scoffed in her mind. _How the fuck would he know you’re crazy about him? He’s just being nice, don’t fucking ruin it._

Sakura’s mind was going off in a billion different directions as she tried to work out what to answer. Accepting private, one-on-one self-defence lectures from Kakashi sounded like a recipe to ruin Sakura’s life once and for all. The thesis supervisions sessions were already bad enough as they were and there was always a huge fucking desk between them. Sakura would simply _die_ as soon as Kakashi’s arms wrapped around her to teach her all the ways to get out of it.

Still… She _had_ been wanting to take self-defence classes ever since she had taken closing time responsibilities at the bar and, according to her financial predictions, she wouldn’t be able to afford any for a really long time. Sakura had always consoled herself by saying that nothing had ever actually happened to her but now that it had— _inside_ the bar for fuck’s sake—and all she had been able to do was throw a soap holder at the guy, she really wished she could be better prepared if anything similar was to ever happen again.

Sakura had absolutely no idea what she would have done if Genma hadn’t intervened when he did. Her attacker would have definitely reached her a few seconds later and all she could do was hope she’d try to kick him in the balls or finger his eyes to try to get away. Still, she would have been extremely lucky to escape on her own from that situation.

It would be completely stupid of Sakura to turn down free lessons just because the man offering them turned her on way too much for her to be able to handle it.

“If you’re not comfortable, I underst…” Kakashi started saying, snapping Sakura out of her internal thoughts.

“No,” she interrupted him, holding up her injured hand. “Wait.”

Kakashi looked at her with a slender eyebrow raised but shut up nonetheless.

“Wouldn’t it be weird?” she asked, letting her hand drop to her side.

“Probably.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile at the honesty in his quick answer. Knowing Kakashi was also a little freaked out about it made her feel slightly better about the entire situation.

“You don’t have to help me with this.”

“I know that.” His face was dead serious and Sakura’s heart skipped a beat at the slight crease between his eyebrows. “But I can’t not do anything when I’m perfectly capable of helping you out. But, again, if you’re not comfortable you don’t have to say yes.”

“I know.” She took a longer breath than necessary as she got the courage to say what she wanted to. “I am, though. Saying yes.”

Her heart rate had practically died down as she watched Kakashi nod his head at her on the other side of the desk.

“Ok,” he said, blinking once before continuing. “Ok, when is it good for you?”

Was he _nervous_?

No, right? Why would he be?

“Weekends are better.” Sakura tried to shake herself out of her wonders, focusing on his question. “Hopefully not Saturday morning because you know how late it is when I get home after work.”

“Is Sunday morning good?” 

Sakura nodded.

“Where?” she asked as the coat hanging on her forearm almost dropped to the floor and she readjusted her hold on it.

“It’s still pretty cold to do it outside but I know a place. It’s a boxing gym. I’m friends with the owner and there’s a way you won’t have to pay to get in—” Kakashi paused and slung the strap of his passenger bag over his shoulder—“but that means it has to be really early and the gym will be empty.”

Sakura nearly burst in nervous laughter but managed to swallow it down. She had never watched a self-defence lesson before but she guessed there was a lot of grabbing and touching involved. It was bad enough that they’d be doing _that_.

Now they’d be _alone_ for it?

Sakura would one hundred per cent die. Not only would she die but she would also make a complete fool out of herself in front of that man who had absolutely no idea of the kinds of things Sakura would absolutely _love_ to do to him.

 _No, no, no, no, stop this right now_ , Sakura mentally scolded herself, knowing that if she didn’t get a grip right then it was all bound to end up in a complete disaster. 

“Ok,” was all she managed to say, hoping her voice sounded at least a little bit normal.

All Kakashi did was hum in response and start walking towards the door without saying anything else, making Sakura quickly place her bag on his desk so she could put her coat on before catching up with him by the door. Sakura had absolutely no idea if the silence they shared as they walked out of the classroom was comfortable or not—if she had to wonder about it it probably meant it wasn’t—but she couldn't help but notice how once again he slowed down his own pace to match hers. All of those things were only acknowledged in the back of her mind, though, since Sakura was actually completely spiralling down as she realised she was utterly, _completely_ fucked.

She would never be able to keep Kakashi out of her mind after Sunday.

Still, it was all for a good reason. She could really use any help she could get and wouldn’t lose the opportunity because of any stupid feelings she had inflicted upon herself, so she just needed to suck it up and get it over with.

“Is 6:30 too early for you?”

Sakura turned her head to stare up at him and found him already watching her as they walked down the corridor. She did everything she could to stop the blush that now climbed up her neck like it did every time she caught Kakashi doing that but, of course, she failed.

“Actually 6:30 or Kakashi 6:30?”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” Kakashi scoffed, scowling down at her.

“It means I want to know if I should get there at 6:30 or if I can enjoy twenty more minutes in bed since you’ll be late anyway.”

She smiled reflexively as the sound of his deep laughter reached her ears. The sly curve of his lips shaped into a grin made her stomach flutter with what felt like a billion butterflies.

“We can get there at 6:30.”

“Ok." Sakura nodded. "Where is it?”

He was quick to tell her the address as they exited the Sciences building and Sakura swallowed down a groan. It would take her around forty minutes to walk there, which meant she’d have to leave her apartment at 5:50. She would never complain about any of it, though. Kakashi was doing her an incredible, extremely thoughtful favour and she really appreciated every little part of it.

They quickly said goodbye to each other after the door of the Sciences building closed shut behind them. Sakura was just about to turn in the direction of Ichiraku's before she glanced up at him one last time.

"Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

He watched her for a few seconds before stuffing both hands deep into his trousers' pockets.

"There's no need for that."

Sakura gave him a smile she could only hope didn't look as shy as she thought it did and walked off in the direction of Ichiraku's, willing herself to not turn around.

.

.

.

Sakura had been wide awake by the time her alarm clock went off at 5 am on Sunday. Thoughts of what she was about to live through had been plaguing her mind incessantly for the past four days and they grew simply impossible to control the closer to zero hour she got.

Regardless of the panic building up more and more inside of her chest, though, Sakura was thankful at finally having an excuse to get out of bed and move as she turned off the alarm on her bedside table. Her heart was already beating hard in her chest and her entire body was slightly shaking as she quickly worked on doing her bed. She was well aware her shaking had nothing to do with the temperature in her apartment but surely a warm shower could get rid of it. Should she even shower, though? Sakura had already taken one before going to bed the night before and she knew it made absolutely no sense to shower before a self-defence class since she’d obviously be needing another one afterwards.

Still, five minutes later Sakura found herself standing naked in her bathroom with her hair up in a loose bun, connecting her phone to her Bluetooth speaker and pressing the shuffle button on her shower playlist. She decided against paying any attention as to _why_ she was taking that completely unnecessary shower and convinced herself she was doing it because she was cold.

Yes, for all purposes, Sakura was now freezing cold.

As she sighed at the way the hot water instantly soothed her tense shoulders, Sakura tried her best to focus her mind on the upbeat music resonating in her bathroom. Maybe if she ignored what was about to come, she would stop feeling like she was about to throw up. There was no need to freak out. She was positively sure Kakashi had everything under control and as long as she managed to turn her thoughts and senses off and focus only on what he taught her, she’d be fine.

Sakura let out a loud groan as she pathetically failed on ignoring her imminent fate. 

She hadn’t even come _close_ to touching Kakashi ever since the first time they’d met and now that she was about to surely do it again all she could think of was how his hands would feel like on her skin without all the layers of the clothes she’d been wearing two months before.

“Don’t be stupid,” Sakura scolded herself out loud as she soaped up her body, her voice echoing in the bathroom and mixing with the music. Maybe saying the words out loud would make them actually mean something. “You’ll still have many layers of clothes between you, don’t you fucking dare think about that.”

Sakura made quick work to finish her shower and stepped out of the glass box into the steamy bathroom. After drying her body, she hung the damp towel on its place and slid into her pastel pink fluffy robe. Glancing at the alarm clock on her bedside table as she walked back into her bedroom, Sakura saw it was 5:16 and was glad to know there was plenty of time to eat and get ready without stressing herself out.

Her Bluetooth speaker was still on as she moved to her kitchen, quickly making herself some scrambled eggs and toast. She would kill for any of her friends to be awake at the moment so she could distract herself by texting them. Grimacing, though, Sakura realised it would suck to find an excuse to tell them as to why she was up at 5 am on a Sunday. She would rather die than let them know anything about the more than surprising turn her relationship with Kakashi had taken.

After a few weeks of eagerly waiting for updates on Sakura’s war against her professor, her friends had quickly lost their interest on the running joke after she stopped complaining about him. Her last rant had been about their first supervision session over a month before and back then Sakura never would have expected them to become something kind of like friends.

What the hell _were_ they, anyway? Were they friends?

Were they _anything_?

 _Yes, you dumbass, he’s your fucking professor_ , her Inner voice didn’t fail to remember her.

Involuntary giggles left her lips as she pictured the faces her friends would make after hearing she and the infamously cruel Professor Hatake were actually on a first name basis. She would also love to see her friends’ reactions at knowing not only everything she’d found out about Kakashi but also everything he’d _done_ for her. Walking her home when it was absolutely out of his way, being such a great supervisor, and offering her free self-defence lessons were never things she’d expected of him.

Sighing, Sakura took a tentative bite of her toast. She hadn’t told her friends anything that had happened after her first supervision session with Kakashi and, for the life of her, she had no idea why. Still, Sakura was well aware that whatever reasons her subconscious might have had, she didn't want to know them just yet.

As it turned out, Sakura just couldn’t eat her breakfast. Her stomach was simply turning and fluttering way too much for her to be able to swallow more than five bites without feeling like she would throw up. Accepting she’d be eating no more, Sakura made quick work of cleaning everything up and wasted no time before walking back into her bedroom, untying the fluffy rope that kept her robe closed on the way.

5:39.

Sakura pulled out the first workout clothes she saw on her wardrobe and put them on in less than two minutes. She quickly studied her reflection on the full-body mirror on the corner of her room, checking whether there was anything wrong with the black yoga pants and tight fitted long-sleeved workout shirt of the same colour she’d picked out.

Leaving her watch on her bedside table—there was no need to put it on since she'd need to take it off for training anyways—Sakura tried to shut her mind off to the fact that time was passing by. By the time she moved to the bathroom to brush her teeth, always bringing the Bluetooth speaker with her wherever she went, Sakura had eight minutes until she had to leave. With each passing second, her stomach curled tighter and tighter. The loud volume of the music Sakura had been listening to—much to her neighbours’ dismay, she was sure—mercifully made it quite impossible for her mind to wander as she stared at her reflection on the mirror. Not that she could truly entirely credit the music for that. Sakura had strong suspicions her brain had simply shut down from panic and anticipation.

It was exactly 5:47 when Sakura stood by the front door of her apartment and put on her tennis shoes and coat. She quickly grabbed her phone, keys, and pepper spray from the small table by the door and slipped them into her coat’s pocket before leaving. The first weekend of March brought a little bit of warmth to Konoha and Sakura highly appreciated it as she stepped into the sidewalk outside of her building. She absolutely hated having to wear multiple layers every time she needed to leave her apartment during Winter and was eager for Spring to arrive. Not to mention it was naturally her favourite season.

As Sakura closed the building’s front door shut behind her and heard its soft click, she swore at herself for forgetting her headphones. She considered just going back upstairs to get them but decided against it for fear of being late. Kakashi would endlessly tease her if he made it on time and she didn’t and Sakura just couldn’t give him the satisfaction.

All of the air stored in Sakura’s lungs left her body as if she’d been kicked in the ribs as she turned around and caught sight of the wonderfully dishevelled silver hair she knew all too well, its owner casually leaning against the wall of the building across the street from hers.

“Right on time. Impressive.”

Because of the dead silence of the early morning, his voice carried on the empty street even though they were several meters apart, and every single hair on Sakura’s body stood up in response to his deep baritone.

“What—why are you here?” She was well aware her eyes were wide on her face and her jaw was most likely nearly hitting the ground as she stared at him.

“Good morning to you too, Sakura,” he smirked. “Funny, I always thought you’d be a morning person… guess I was wrong.”

“Kakashi, what are you doing here?”

“You seriously thought I’d let you walk there alone?”

Sakura had no idea how to react to that. Had he seriously calculated the time she would need to leave her apartment to arrive at the boxing gym at 6:30 and made sure to catch her before she left?

As her mind worked on what to do next, her eyes foolishly decided to travel down his body to see what they’d find, and what they encountered was more than enough to make Sakura snap out of her daze. Every single thing about him, from the amused smirk on his lips as he watched her to the black long-sleeved shirt that just _shouldn’t_ be allowed to fit him so damn well and the dark track pants that hung so perfectly around his hips and—

Sakura forced herself to look back up at his face again. She would _not_ be thinking of any of that.

“That’s—you didn’t have to,” she heard herself saying.

“Remind me again why you’re taking self-defence lessons.”

Sakura scowled at him.

“To know how to protect myself.”

“And do you know how to protect yourself now?”

“All I’m saying is that you didn’t have to walk all the way here.” 

“Do you wanna get going or would you rather stand here discussing this until the sun is out?” 

Sakura rolled her eyes but started crossing the street nonetheless.

Kakashi didn’t say anything else as he stepped away from the wall and watched her intently as he waited for her to reach him. When she did, he fell into step next to her, hands buried in his pockets as he matched her shorter pace.

“Thank you,” she said after taking a deep breath. “Really.”

He hummed in response. It was so quiet on the street around them that Sakura was positively sure there was absolutely no way in hell Kakashi wasn’t able to hear Sakura’s thumping heartbeat.

“Aren’t you cold?” she couldn’t help but ask as she realised he wasn’t wearing a coat.

“Are you kidding? It’s ten degrees.”

“ _Yes_ , and you’re only wearing one layer.” Sakura looked up at him with what she was sure to be her best _what-the-hell-are-you-doing_ face. “And you also didn’t answer my question.”

Kakashi chuckled, making Sakura’s heart clench in her chest. How could someone be so handsome from every possible angle?

“No, I’m not cold.” He shook his head while he kept both eyes stuck straight ahead.

Sakura smiled at his amusement as she turned her head back to the sidewalk in front of them. 

“Kakashi, really, now I feel bad,” she said after a few seconds of comfortable silence. “You didn’t have to come all this way.”

“Sakura, it’s fine, really.” his tone was reassuring and it made her feel slightly better. “I always go running at 5 am, just usually not in the city.”

Sakura couldn’t help but feel curious at any little detail she had the opportunity to learn about him. She rarely took the freedom to ask but whenever he casually threw information like that he couldn’t possibly blame her for picking up on it.

“Really? Where do you usually run?”

He curiously stared at her for a few beats before answering.

“The woods.”

“Wow.” Sakura raised her eyebrows. “In the dark?”

Kakashi hummed and Sakura could see there was a small smile playing on his lips. That man would be the end of her and he had _absolutely_ no idea, but right then Sakura just didn’t seem to care as much as she probably should.

A few more minutes of comfortable silence took over the two of them as they roamed the familiar streets, getting farther and farther away from Sakura’s building. She felt absolutely useless for not being able to offer him anything in return for his help and took advantage of the silence to try to come up with something.

Sakura bit the inside of her lower lip as a thought showed up on her mind.

“Ok, please don’t fight me on this.” She shot him a warning look to let him know she was serious. “Next time you go to the Rusty Kunai your drinks will be on me, ok? As a thank you for all this.”

“Ok.”

Sakura blinked in astonishment and ended up falling a few steps short behind him. Kakashi didn’t even bother turning around to watch as she gave a little run to catch up with him again.

“Hah, funny,” she let out a little laugh. “Was kinda expecting you to protest a bit.”

“I don't say no to free drinks, Sakura. You’re the one who shouldn’t have offered.”

At that, Sakura burst into incredulous laughter. A blush crept up her face as she caught Kakashi amusedly watching her as she laughed. Thank fuck it was too dark for him to be able to see it—at least that was what she hoped for.

“How long have you been working there?” he asked.

Sakura took a second to think before answering, still smiling from the aftermath of her laughter. She didn’t really need the time but her heart needed to calm the fuck down if she was planning on surviving that morning.

“A year. Give or take a few months.”

“Did you work anywhere else before?”

“Yeah, I worked at that bookstore on the 9th. Have you been there?”

“Hm, no, I order my books online.” Kakashi looked up at the closest lamppost and if Sakura didn’t know any better she’d actually dare say he was avoiding looking at her. “What made you change jobs?”

“Well, money.” Sakura shrugged. “Not only is the hourly pay a lot higher at the Rusty Kunai but also the tips are on a whole other level.”

“Wonder why,” Kakashi chuckled, looking back down again.

Sakura couldn’t help but blush again. What the _fuck_ did he mean by that?

“Well, yeah.” She shrugged again and placed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Drunk people are very generous. The pink hair also helps.”

Kakashi didn’t answer anything to that and just kept his eyes on the way ahead of them, both of his hands buried deep in his pockets as they fell back into a comfortable silence.

“What about you?” she asked after spending at least five minutes gathering the courage to do so.

“ _What_ about me?” He sent her a curious sideways glance.

“Well, you started working at KU what, seven years ago? Did you do anything else before?”

Just like it had happened the time he'd walked her home from work, Kakashi didn’t answer her question at first. Sakura risked a glance up at his face and, for the life of her, she couldn’t read anything she saw in it.

She waited in baited silence for a little while, and had been just about to apologise for asking when he answered.

“I was in the army.”

 _That_ she hadn’t expected.

Sure, Kakashi was extremely intimidating in class and he did have that dominating aura around him at all times—which never failed to drive Sakura insane, for her absolute dismay—but she’d never truly imagined him as anything else other than a professor.

Definitely not as a _soldier_. Now that she knew it, though, she couldn’t help but acknowledge that it really suited him.

The list of questions Sakura had always had about Kakashi had always been extensive. He was just way too mysterious and closed off to _not_ warrant any curiosity from her. And, surprisingly enough, that particular revelation made the number of questions she already had about him to pretty much triplicate in her head.

Was that where he'd gotten the scar on his eye? How did it happen? Did he ever go on missions over the border? Had he ever had a near-death experience?

Did he ever kill anyone?

And the list went on.

“Did you like it there?” was what she settled for, though.

Sure, that question wasn’t the juiciest one she had but it was the one that mattered the most to her at the moment. Sakura had no idea who Kakashi was and what he’d been through but she’d love to try to understand a little bit about how he felt about his past, regardless of what it’d been like. Maybe she’d get other opportunities to ask the other questions in the future, and for now she knew it would be better to stick to the easiest ones.

At her question, Kakashi turned his head to look down at her. She still couldn’t read his face but she didn’t shy away from his stare this time.

“No one’s ever asked me that.”

“It’s a valid question.” Sakura shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

As silence stretched between them once again, she turned her head back around to stare at the path ahead of them.

“And you don’t want to answer it," she affirmed.

“It’s a valid question, not a simple one.”

It was Sakura’s turn to hum in response. 

She raised her eyebrows as they turned the corner to the Rusty Kunai’s street a few minutes later since she hadn’t realised they had already walked most of the way. The sky was already light enough that she knew the sun was rising somewhere the buildings surrounding them didn’t allow her to see.

“I did.” Kakashi’s voice suddenly broke the silence they had comfortably fallen into for the past few minutes. 

Sakura hadn’t realised he had been thinking about what she’d asked and hadn’t even been expecting him to answer at all anymore.

“What made you leave?” she asked. 

Sakura was well aware it was one thing for Kakashi to ask her why she'd changed jobs from working at a bookstore to a bar and a completely different one for her to ask him why he’d left the army at a young age. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder how much he was willing to share with her just then.

“It wasn’t my decision.”

Sakura took the hint and decided against asking anything else. That was clearly not a comfortable subject for him and the last thing she wanted was to dampen his mood for the day. The two of them fell back into a comfortable silence once again as they walked past the Rusty Kunai and turned the street on the next corner.

“Do you know how to throw a punch?”

Sakura raised an eyebrow at his question.

“Wanna test it?” She grinned.

“Oh, I will.” Kakashi chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, making Sakura smile reflexively.

“By the way, how’s it gonna go?” she asked, jumping the gun and not managing to wait until they got to their destination before asking anything about the training. She had been dying of curiosity for the past four days and really wanted some heads up for what she was about to face, which sounded reasonable enough in her opinion.

“Well, we’re gonna start simple.” Kakashi nodded once at her but then moved his eyes back to the sidewalk ahead of them. “It’s not really relevant to self-defence but I want to test your strength and teach you how to properly throw a punch. Then I’ll show you how to get out of grabbing situations, like your wrists, hair, basically everything. I don’t think we’ll be able to efficiently cover it all today so we might have to meet again to work on the rest, is that ok?”

Sakura eagerly nodded, already opening her mouth to ask the first question that popped into her head.

“What’s the rest?”

“Whatever we don’t cover from today, and also all the other most common attacks.” Kakashi hesitated for a split second before going on. “Chokeholds, for example, and I’ll show you how to use your aggressor’s strength against them if they try to hold you down by mounting you or something like that.”

By the time he finished answering, Sakura wished she hadn’t asked. Now all she could think of was that Kakashi would be fucking _mounting_ her on the next session and… oh, god, _chokeholds_. Would he be _choking_ her? She bit down on her lower lip with force to stop herself from bursting into a fit of nervous laughter, her mind grabbing that one image and fucking _running_ with it in ways that made Sakura really glad Kakashi couldn’t read her mind.

“If you’re ok with that, of course.”

Sakura’s head whipped in Kakashi's direction at the sound of his voice. Of course, she shouldn’t be surprised he’d been watching her after she didn’t immediately react to his explanation.

Her cheeks instantly heated as soon as their eyes met.

“Uhum,” Sakura murmured, nodding her head. “I am. Ok with it.”

“Are you sure?” He frowned. “Sakura, you’re calling the shots here. Whatever you say goes.”

Sakura let out a shaky laugh, moving her head back to face the street ahead and averting her eyes to the floor beneath her.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said and cringed at the slight shakiness in her voice. “And thanks, I really, really appreciate it. It’s just… a lot. And kinda weird. But not in a bad way. Not that there would be a bad way. Or a _good_ one!” Sakura was well aware her face was now putting every red traffic light in Konoha to shame and she forced her eyes shut as mortification washed over her. 

What the _actual_ fuck was wrong with her?

Kakashi didn’t say anything at first, which only worsened Sakura’s embarrassment. She had _actually_ managed to make a complete fool of herself before they'd even walked into the fucking gym.

“Sakura.”

The seriousness in his tone immediately made her stop walking. Her eyes were still shut and her head was down but she could feel him as he moved and stopped in front of her.

“Look at me.”

There was no disobeying that voice. Slowly, Sakura let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding and raised her eyes to meet his and what she found reflected back in his charcoal ones was enough to take away every ounce of breath that remained in her. For a second there it felt like her heart would literally jump out of her throat and she realised she wouldn't really care if it did.

“I know.” Kakashi nodded at her after a few beats had passed in which all they did was stare at each other. “Trust me, I do. It’s weird for me too. You put it quite well, actually, if that even makes sense," he chuckled and Sakura could hear a slight edge of nervousness buried in the sound. "The difference, Sakura, is that I’m _used_ to that kind of physical contact. I’ve been training and sparring with friends ever since I was a kid and yeah, I’m used to it. If you’re not comfortable, it’s ok. Whatever you say goes, I meant it when I said you call all the shots here.”

Sakura felt like she was one second away from melting into a puddle on the floor as he finished speaking. For a second there she wanted to ask if he also choked his friends in their sparring sessions but thankfully managed to stop herself before she did, knowing that the more she thought about how his hands would feel around her neck the harder it’d be for her to not have a heart attack at twenty-one.

Regardless of the possibilities of Sakura’s imminent death, it truly meant the world to her that Kakashi paid so much value and attention to her boundaries. At that moment, it didn’t matter at all that he drove her completely insane. Sakura completely trusted him to teach her everything she needed to know and she knew he would fully respect her every step of the way.

“It’s ok.” Sakura nodded up at him.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Kakashi nodded firmly in return, his eyes never wavering from hers.

“I need you to know that we can stop whenever you want, ok? Just say the word.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile at his worry.

“I’ll be fine, Kakashi, I can handle it.”

“Ok, then, smartass.” He shot her a grin, breaking the tension between them. “We’re almost there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> OKOKOK
> 
> I'm really really REALLY proud of this chapter. I know I'm once again leaving you guys with kind of a cliffhanger but I sweeeeeear it will be worth it. the next one has got me completely like 'oof'. we're FINALLY getting to the good stuff and I couldn't be happier.
> 
> I'm soooo so so happy to finally be able to disclose more of Kakashi's backstory as he and Sakura start to get each other more. I know how much you guys are dying to know about it!!!! once again, thanks for the patience and for trusting my pacing!
> 
> it will all be worth it, my darlings
> 
> once again I can't wait to see the response this chapter gets!!!!!!!! 
> 
> thank you all veeeeeeery much for all the reviews and kudos, they never fail to make my day! <3 x
> 
> -A


	13. unexpected turns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I took a longer time with this one but I'm positively sure it's worth the wait ;) ;)
> 
> enjoy!

“Ok, it’s 6:34 right now. We have until 9:30 until we need to leave.”

Sakura nodded at Kakashi’s words, not quite paying a lot of attention as she stared wide-eyed at the space below her. They had just walked into the boxing gym Kakashi had taken her to and were both standing on top of the upper-level platform of its entrance. Her elevated location allowed Sakura to see the entire space below her in its entirety and the sight was nothing short of impressive. 

The gym consisted of a huge, open room the size of a warehouse with six boxing rings distributed throughout the black synthetic floor at even intervals, three on each side. There were four large matted-floored spaces between each of the rings and Sakura guessed those spaces were also used for training. The perfect and satisfactory arrangement of space made Sakura’s perfectionist side itch pleasantly. Lining the walls on all three sides there were dozens of boxing bags of colours varying between red, black, and blue hanging from metal supporters. All of them looked like they’ve been practised on for a fair amount of time.

Sakura couldn’t see the fourth wall properly since it was directly underneath where she stood at the moment but she knew she’d be able to check it out as soon as they got downstairs.

“Ready?”

Sakura turned to look at Kakashi, who had been watching her the entire time without her noticing. For the first time, she didn’t blush after that realisation. Instead, she found herself smiling up at him.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Kakashi led the way down the metal staircase and Sakura followed without hesitation. He immediately turned to the fourth wall Sakura hadn’t been able to see before and she took a second to quickly take it in. The entire wall had four doors on it, all of them closed. She could easily identify where two of the doors led to because of the gendered signs they had, obviously indicating the locker rooms.

Kakashi stopped in front of the men’s locker room and unlocked it with one of the keys he had for the place. He walked in without saying anything, turning on the lights inside, and Sakura wondered whether she should follow. She decided against it in the end. If she followed him into the men’s locker room without invitation and Kakashi asked what the hell she was doing Sakura wouldn’t be able to handle the embarrassment.

Kakashi emerged from the room about a minute later, holding a see-through laundry bag in his hands with something inside Sakura couldn’t quite identify.

“What are the other rooms?” Sakura couldn’t help but ask as soon as he reappeared.

“The owner’s office and equipment room.” He didn’t even turn his head to stare at where she was indicating, instead kept his eyes on her as he slightly frowned. “Give me your coat.” 

Sakura removed her extra layer and handed it to Kakashi, who went back into the locker room and resurfaced without her coat a few seconds later. He then walked past her into the door to her left and unlocked it as well. Sakura risked a glance inside from the threshold after Kakashi turned the lights on and crossed the room with purpose, clearly well aware of where whatever he was looking for was located.

The place was quite clearly the equipment room and it left Sakura majorly impressed at the vast number of different gadgets displayed around it, varying from size to colours and functions. Kakashi soon came back to the door with a set of black punching pads in his hands and Sakura stepped back to give him room to walk out. He left the door open behind him and went straight in the direction of the nearest training mat, the one between the first two rings on the right side of the gym, and she followed suit.

“Shoes off.”

Sakura obeyed, removing her own sneakers and socks before following a now barefoot Kakashi onto the mat. He threw the laundry bag and the punching pads on it and turned to stare at her while she pulled her hair up into a ponytail.

“What’s in the bag?” She pointed at it after her hair was tightly secured.

“You’ll see after we warm up.”

Sakura swallowed down a groan. Warmups were the absolute worst for her and the very reason why she avoided working out as much as she did. Still, she silently followed Kakashi’s lead for the next minutes, first running a few laps around the gym and then doing squats, side lunges, and other soul-crushing repetitive movements on the mat. 

Sakura knew it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes until they were done but it had felt like an eternity.

“You look grumpier than you did a few minutes ago,” Kakashi observed with an amused expression on his face.

“Not a fan of warmups,” Sakura said, doing everything she could to keep the grumpy edge that threatened to show up on her voice.

He hummed in response, bending down to pick up the laundry bag. He opened it and took two black hand wrappings out, and Sakura had seen enough fight movies to understand how and why they were used. Kakashi threw the empty bag in the air and Sakura followed it with her eyes as it fell on the black synthetic floor outside of the mat range. She turned her head back around just in time to see Kakashi studying her with a look she couldn’t quite decipher.

Sakura couldn’t help but swallow as all of the hairs on her arms stood up in response to his intense stare. Her mouth became suddenly dry as her heart rate started picking up in speed, clearly not a result of the warmup.

“You wouldn’t happen to know how to put these on, right?” He indicated the hand wrappings he held in his hands.

Sakura discovered she simply couldn’t speak at the moment as soon as she realised he was literally just about to touch her. She settled for shaking her head at him, letting him know she indeed didn’t know how to put them on properly.

“Can I do it for you?”

She nodded, willing herself to get her shit together. All he would do was wrap her hands and wrists, there was absolutely no big deal about it. At least that was what Sakura kept telling herself in her mind like a mantra as she watched Kakashi take the few steps separating them until he stopped right in front of her. She swallowed again, her speeding heartbeat resonating under her slightly sweaty skin. It sounded so fucking loud as it thumped on her ears that she was one hundred per cent certain there was no way he wasn’t able to hear it as well.

As much as she tried, Sakura couldn’t fight the way her body immediately stiffened as soon as Kakashi took her left hand in his own. She did everything she could to hide the shaky intake of breath that followed the direct touch of his burning skin on hers, but most likely failed.

What _was_ all that shit, honestly? Never before had Sakura felt anything even remotely similar to it, not even when she’d had her first kiss with Sasuke years before. She’d thought she’d been literally over the moon back then. How the fuck was she nearly going into cardiac arrest when this man was about to simply wrap a black fabric around her hands?

Was Sakura the only one going through this shit? That wasn’t possible, was it? Could Kakashi also be extremely sensitive to every single spot his hand and fingers grazed her skin at that moment?

The close proximity made it completely impossible for Sakura to not inhale and react to his scent. Even though it had never failed to induce an outrageous reaction on her body, the newly added hint of Kakashi’s musky sweat made Sakura’s thighs reflexively press against one another as her mind simply short-circuited.

That’s it. She would _absolutely_ die before the clock hit 9:30.

Sakura kept her eyes trained on the work he did on her hands the entire time. She was sure that if she did look up at his face when he was standing so close to her and smelling like _that_ , she’d immediately hit an early grave. 

Kakashi made quick work of wrapping Sakura’s hands, clearly more than used to performing the action himself. She watched his skilled hands the entire time as he pulled the fabric a few times across the back of her hand before tightly wrapping it around her knuckles three times. He then pulled it again over the back of her hand and wrapped it around her wrist three more times.

Kakashi turned her hand upwards in his and started wrapping between each of her long fingers.

“Keep your thumb extended,” he instructed her when she started to relax it.

Sakura quickly complied. 

Had there been a strain in his voice or was she hallucinating?

Kakashi quickly finished working on her left hand and repeated the same actions on her right one. Against Sakura’s hopes, it didn’t become any easier for her to deal with the feel of his strong hands on hers. If she was that overwhelmed by _this_ , what the fuck would she do when they actually started their training?

She let out a shaky breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding as Kakashi let go of her now tightly wrapped right hand and took a step back to pick up one of the punching pads from the floor. 

“Have you ever thrown a punch?”

Sakura silently willed her heart to calm the fuck down before answering him.

“I know how to do it.”

Kakashi raised a slender eyebrow at her response. Sakura matched his stare by raising one of her own.

“Ok then.” He expertly slipped the punching pad on his hand and raised it in her direction. “Let’s see it.”

“What? Just like that?”

“You know how to do it, don’t you? Go on, give me all you’ve got.”

Sakura knew he was mocking her but she wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. She gathered all of the previous knowledge she had about punching in the back of her mind and put it together, closing her right hand in a fist— _thumb out, you moron_ —and trying to better her stance. Of course, that was quite particularly tricky taking into account Sakura had no idea what the correct stance _was_. She found balance by bending her knees slightly and figured it was good enough.

And then, she punched his gloved hand.

As soon as her protected fist connected with the heavy pad, Sakura understood why Kakashi had wrapped her hands so tightly. She instantly felt the impact of the punch bolting from her knuckles all the way to her shoulder, with a particular discomfort on her elbow. It didn’t properly hurt but she knew if she hadn’t had her hands properly wrapped it would hurt like fucking hell.

Sakura was so focused on her own surprise at how big of an effect the wrappings actually had that she almost missed Kakashi’s gut reaction to her punch. Thankfully, though, her eyes did not miss either the way his arm moved backwards as a result of her strength or the way his eyes momentarily widened as he was clearly taken by surprise.

A surge of pride washed through Sakura at the sight.

“I did tell you on our first supervision session to stop underestimating me.”

Kakashi watched her with a surprised expression on his face for a few more beats before letting out a quick burst of incredulous laughter.

“I really wasn’t expecting you to be this strong.” He shook his head, a handsome amused smile playing on his lips that made Sakura’s heart clench. “Impressive, honestly.”

“I told you I knew how to do it.” She gave him a cocky grin and shrugged one shoulder.

“No, you clearly don’t. You’re strong, sure, but you’re also obviously clueless.”

Sakura was about to open her mouth in protest when she stopped herself on her tracks. She was well aware she didn’t know how to throw a punch and she was there specifically to learn. Kakashi was already being so unbelievably amazing to help her out with it, there was absolutely no need for Sakura to give him a hard time.

“Fine. Show me, then.”

Kakashi’s eyebrows went slightly higher on his forehead at her easy compliance but he didn’t hesitate to start teaching her the proper way.

“First of all, your stance. It was good that you bent your knees and found an appropriate balance but your feet need to be aligned with your shoulders and facing your opponent.”

He instructed her further on why her non-dominant foot stayed in front and why the dominant one remained in the rear, and also why the appropriate angles were important to help her pivot. He then helped her out with how to properly hold up her arms and hands by tucking her dominant hand close to her chin and raising her other one in front of her as her primary line of defence.

Kakashi didn’t touch her at all while he instructed her, to Sakura’s not entirely surprising disappointment.

“About that pain in your elbow—” he started speaking but stopped as Sakura shot him such a surprised look that he frowned down at her. “What?”

“How do you know it hurt my elbow?”

Kakashi chuckled.

“Because you didn’t twist your arm.”

Sakura nodded, trying to make sense of what he’d said. 

“If you don’t twist your arm you get elbow lockout,” he further explained.

“Elbow lockout,” Sakura repeated, raising one eyebrow at him. What a fucking stupid term. What kind of idiot would come up with it?

“It’s a good name.” He crossed his arms.

“Did _you_ name it?”

“Yes, actually.”

Sakura burst into laughter at that. Of _course_ , he had.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry,” she willed herself to stop laughing but couldn’t contain the grin from taking form on her lips. “Go on.”

She was glad to see Kakashi didn’t look angry at her outburst. On the opposite, he amusedly watched her as she put herself back into the position he’d just taught her.

He hummed before jumping back into his explanation.

“An elbow lockout is when you stress your ligaments. If you turn your fist while throwing the punch, you turn your joint the opposite way and you don’t stress your elbow anymore.”

Sakura gave it a few tries until Kakashi told her she’d gotten the idea behind it. 

“Ok, so now I punch you again?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Why do I feel like you’re a little too eager for that?” He frowned down at her, making Sakura giggle. 

Kakashi shook his head with a small grin on his lips as her giggles ended up in a smile before he spoke again.

“I’d actually like to teach you the proper way to rotate your body while throwing a punch first, is that ok?”

Sakura nodded, pursing her lips to stop herself from smiling at how sweet it was that he kept asking for her permission before doing anything. Kakashi wasn’t even touching her for any of it but, apparently, he'd really meant it when he said she’d be calling all of the shots on their training.

As the minutes went by, they spent quite a while training punches and the correct stances for it. Kakashi made sure to also teach her how to properly stick the knuckle of her middle finger out on the closed fist so that when she punched the neck or anywhere else on her attacker’s body it would hurt him a lot more, a quick way of finishing off any confrontation before it even properly started.

Sakura barely saw the time flying, though, before Kakashi slipped out his punching pads and smiled down at her.

“That’s great for now. How you doing?”

“I’m good,” she smiled up at him and placed both of her hands on each side of her hips, trying to catch her breath now that they’d stopped.

In reality, there wasn’t a single spot on Sakura’s body that didn’t ache from the extensive exercise. Still, she wasn’t lying when she said she felt good.

She was more than ready for more.

“Look, Sakura, before we continue I need you to know that everything I teach you in these training sessions will be good for you to stop an attack and get enough time to run. But you need to keep up with your cardio training if you actually want to be able to run away and call for help.”

Sakura nodded up at him.

“I will. Thanks a lot, again.” 

“No need for that.” He waved his hand at her dismissively. “You wanna take a break before we move on?”

“I would love some water, actually. Where can I…”

Kakashi was walking away before she could even finish her sentence. Sakura took the opportunity to start lowering herself down to the floor, eager for a few minutes of relaxation.

“Don’t sit down,” he hadn't even turned his head back at her as he announced his command.

Sakura loudly groaned in frustration. How the _fuck_ had he known?

Her entire body ached like hell and she closed her eyes as she straightened her posture again, dreading how she would be feeling a few hours later. Sakura absolutely hated how sweaty she was at the moment. Her face was burning hot and she knew she looked extremely flushed from all the exercise. Still, the endorphins rushing through her veins made her grin with pride of how much effort she was putting into her training.

Sakura watched Kakashi as he stepped back onto the mat with two plastic cups on his hands. He handed her one of them and brought his own to his lips. She took a long sip of her water and welcomed the cold liquid into her heated body, her accelerated heartbeat resonating throughout her entire self as she swallowed.

“I can’t believe I forgot my bottle,” she murmured as she stared at the plastic cup in her hand.

“We’ll remember next time.”

Sakura tried not to react to the words ‘next time’. She glanced up at the analogue clock that hung on the wall in front of them and saw it was 8:19.

“We can finish now if you’re tired.”

She raised her eyes to stare at Kakashi while he’d been studying her, his free hand stuffed into his pocket.

“No, no." She shook her head. "I’m fine.”

“Ok, then.” He finished his water and cracked his neck on both sides. “You can take off the wrappings now if you want. Let me know when you’re ready to start again.”

Sakura handed Kakashi her cup for him to hold while she took off the hand wrappings and shot him a questioning look to see where she could leave them. He motioned for her to throw them somewhere on the floor outside of the matted range and she did. Sakura then took back her cup and drank the rest of her water in one go. She took Kakashi's empty one from his hand without his permission and turned around to place both of them next to their discarded shoes.

“Whenever _you’re_ ready,” she said as she straightened up again, leaning her head to the side and placing both hands on her waist as she stared up at him.

“Ok, then," Kakashi chuckled while shaking his head in disbelief. "I’d like to first of all say that it’s really good that you threw that soap holder at the guy,” he said at the same time that he motioned with his fingers for her to get closer to him. “Your instincts are good and you seem to know that literally everything around you can be used as a weapon. You got lucky when you managed to draw blood from that guy but it clearly wasn’t enough to stop him. It’s all about knowing where to aim and I’ll help you out with that in the future.”

Sakura nodded at his words as she stepped closer to him in the middle of the matted floor, a sense of pride filling her chest at his praise of her instincts.

“That sounds great, thank you.”

All Kakashi did in response was nod at her as she stopped before him. It took exactly one second before Sakura’s heart skipped a beat as she understood what was about to come now. 

They had officially run out of reasons for Kakashi to keep his hands away from her and Sakura was fucking here for it.

“Is it ok with you if we start with arm grabbing?” he asked as he cracked the knuckles of his hands.

Sakura nodded her consent, her heart beating faster in excitement.

“Ok, give me your arm.”

Sakura stood out her left arm and watched as he reached out to grab it as if it was all happening in slow motion. His large fingers easily closed around her entire wrist in a strong grip that made Sakura take an involuntary shaky breath.

For fuck’s sake, could he feel on her wrist how fast her pulse was going? She hoped with all of her being that he couldn’t.

“Ok, now try to get out of it.”

Sakura forced herself to swallow and narrowed her eyes, looking down at his grip on her hand. All she wanted was for her breathing and heart rate to go back to normal so she could fucking function normally. Forcing herself to get her shit together, Sakura tried pulling her arm back and out of his grip but it didn’t even budge. She tried everything, from trying to pull it down with force and even twisting her arm almost entirely to try to break his grasp on her. Absolutely nothing happened. His grip was like steel on her wrist and she just couldn’t get out of it for the life of her.

She let out an annoyed huff as she looked up at him with narrowed eyes. Kakashi let out a chuckle as he raised one eyebrow down at her.

“See how you can’t get out?”

“You didn’t have to make me try for so long.”

Sakura couldn’t help but notice he still hadn’t removed his heated, sinfully strong hand from around her wrist. Not that she wanted him to, of course.

“Yes, I did, actually.” He nodded down at her, his eyebrows furrowed in mock seriousness. “It was highly entertaining.”

She opened her mouth to let out a snarky remark but he cut her to the chase.

“Ok, let’s switch. I’ll show you how to get out.”

Sakura couldn’t stop herself from physically reacting when he suddenly loosened his grip on her wrist. The abrupt absence of his hand in direct contact with her exposed skin made her reflexively furrow her eyebrows in disappointment. She quickly pulled her shit back together, though, and switched roles with Kakashi hoping he hadn’t noticed any of it.

As soon as she took her turn in grabbing his arm, the comic sight of her small hand wrapped around Kakashi’s larger wrist made Sakura softly giggle. 

“Something funny?”

Sakura tried to stop herself from smiling but found it to be impossible as soon as she looked up at him and saw he was grinning down at her as well. Still, she was fast to put a stop to it and tightened her grip on him as much as she could.

“Ok, the reason why you couldn’t get out of it is because you didn’t fight the grip off from its weak point. The strongest part of it is where the four fingers are—” Kakashi used his free hand to touch Sakura’s little to index fingers as they were grasped around his wrist, the light contact causing every hair on her arms to rise in response—“and they stop you from breaking free by pushing down, back, or sideways. You have to go against the weakest part, the thumb.” 

Kakashi now used his index finger to trace her thumb where it rested against the inside of his wrist, making Sakura’s knees feel suddenly weak.

Sakura made the irreversibly stupid mistake of glancing up at him then. As soon as her eyes locked with his charcoal ones, with a burning intensity reflected in them and his silver eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration, she felt like she might faint right then and there. It just wasn’t fair. At all.

A few timeless seconds went by in which all they did was stare at each other, her heart thumping so strongly she felt like it would burst out of her chest at any second. Sakura was almost painfully sensitive to how his free hand absentmindedly grazed the top of hers while she held tightly onto his wrist before Kakashi blinked and averted his eyes down to where they were connected.

“So,” he said, stopping for a second to clear his throat, “you got to do a palm strike to your attacker’s wrist. Like this.” 

He removed his free hand from the top of hers and slowly brought it back with his palm open to the inside of her own wrist, making sure she understood the motion. 

“Don’t go downwards with this movement because you’ll still be going against the strength of the four fingers. If you do that all you’ll achieve is an even angrier attacker who still has a strong grip on you but now has an aching wrist. Hit your palm on the inside of his wrist and at the same time pull your arm back—” he slowly pulled his own arm closer to him, making Sakura’s arm stretch further in his direction—“and your attacker’s grip on you will be weaker. You see, when you make him stretch his arm forward it disengages his biceps and any additional arm strength he has and now he’s only counting on his fingers to keep his grip on you. Do both at the same time and you’re out.”

They switched places again as soon as Sakura nodded her understanding and she spent a large portion of time not only perfecting what he’d just taught her, but also following his further instructions on proper stance to enhance her strength and speed. Soon enough it became fairly automatic for Sakura to measure her own strength when hitting her palm on the most vulnerable place of his grip and pulling her arm back at the same time. 

Every time she felt Kakashi’s firm grip on her failing after she successfully managed to break it, she couldn’t help but grin with pride. It became steadily harder for her to breathe normally each time she caught sight of the way he proudly smiled at her successes as well.

The next time Sakura looked up at the clock it read 9:17.

“Oh,” she said, her shoulders slouching as she couldn’t hide her disappointment.

Kakashi turned his head around, his hand still holding her wrist—but now in a gentle, absentminded way that felt so fucking _right_ on Sakura’s skin that she just couldn’t handle it—and looked up at the clock as well.

“Fuck.” He turned his head back to her, his face showing something that Sakura was surprised to realise was disappointment. “I completely lost track of time. I couldn’t even teach you how to get out of other grabbing situations.”

Sakura was momentarily surprised he’d actually cursed in front of her but it didn’t feel wrong for them to have achieved that level of casualness.

“We’re gonna do this again, though, right?” it was completely shameful how she couldn’t even hide the excitement from her voice.

“Yes, of course.” Kakashi nodded. “If you want to.”

Sakura smiled up at him.

“I do. It was great, honestly. Thank you, Kakashi.”

He shot her a disarmingly handsome smirk before realising he was still holding her wrist. Kakashi immediately pulled his hand back away from her and scratched behind his head, an eye-crinkling smile now on his face.

“I’m glad I could help.” He brought his hand down and stuffed both of them on his sinfully well-fitted black track pants. “Well, we should stretch before leaving.”

Sakura and Kakashi didn’t hurry at all to get ready to leave. They did a few stretching movements to end their training and then settled in a comfortable silence as they slipped on their shoes. Kakashi started to collect the gym equipment he’d gotten, stuffing the hand wrappings he’d lent Sakura into the same see-through laundry bag he’d taken them from, while Sakura picked up the empty plastic cups and held them in her hands.

Every single ounce of Sakura’s body ached as she followed him all the way to the opened equipment room. She threw the cups into the nearest bin and watched from the threshold as Kakashi disinfected the boxing pad with alcohol and a cloth before putting them back where they belonged.

“Do you want to use the locker room before we leave?” he asked her as he locked the door to the equipment room.

“No, I’m fine.”

Kakashi hummed in response and walked over to the men’s locker room, where he resurfaced a few seconds later with Sakura’s coat. Her body was so heated and sweaty at the moment that she preferred to just not put it on. Sakura climbed up the stairs to the entrance in front of Kakashi, her coat slung over her aching forearm. She waited for him while he turned off all of the lights and unlocked the front door, the laundry bag with the hand wrappings clutched in his hand.

As soon as the door was slightly thrown open by Kakashi, though, the ferocious roar of a storm reached their clueless ears.

“For fuck’s sake,” Kakashi whispered under his breath and Sakura shielded her eyes from the almost sharp raindrops that flew over to her face.

He closed the door again and looked down at her.

“Look, the owner will arrive in fifteen minutes and he can’t see you here. I live around the block, would you be ok with waiting there for the storm to end? My friend is there too so we won’t be alone.”

Sakura felt her eyes widen at his suggestion. Was he _seriously_ inviting her over to his place?

“I can… walk home,” she said but her voice wasn’t doing a good job at convincing even herself.

“And face that storm for 40 minutes? That’s insane.”

“Kakashi, I really don’t want to bother you that much.” Sakura nervously glanced at the closed door next to them before looking back up at his charcoal eyes. “You’ve already done so much for me today, I…”

“Sakura.” he interrupted her off mid-speech, shaking his head. “You never bother me, ok? You need to stop thinking that. Look, I’m not letting you walk home in this weather. Come on, let’s sit downstairs.”

“Wait.” She didn’t think before pressing her hand to his hard bicep as he tried walking past her and she fought against the blush that threatened to climb up to her face. “You’ll get in trouble if the owner sees me here, won’t you?”

“Trouble? This isn’t high school, they can’t sign me off to detention.” he jokingly smirked down at her.

“Kakashi, I’m serious. Will you lose the keys?”

Kakashi looked at her for a beat too long before shrugging.

“I can talk myself out of it, it’ll be fine.”

Sakura sighed, dropping her hand from his arm and scratching the tip of her nose while she thought over her options.

If he hadn’t been comfortable with having her over at his place for a little while, she was sure he wouldn’t have offered at all. She really didn’t want him to get into trouble for sneaking her in the gym, especially when he had done everything he had out of a pure desire to help her out. As he'd said himself, there was a friend of his there so it wouldn’t be weird. Not that she would ever actually complain about being alone with Kakashi at his place, or literally anywhere at all.

 _For fuck’s sake, the poor man is being nothing but nice to you and all you can do is sexualise the situation?_ she scolded herself. _Why do you think the first thing that came out of his mouth was a guarantee that you two wouldn’t be alone? He’s already picking up you have weird feelings for him, you dumbass, and he wants no part in it._

Sakura almost wasn’t able to stop herself from cringing at where her thoughts went but mercifully managed to keep her face normal. She was right, she needed to get a grip on herself and start behaving like a normal human being from then on.

“Are you sure you’re ok with taking me there?” she asked him one more time.

Kakashi glanced down at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Sakura, not if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“I am. I’m asking if you are.”

Her heart rate raised significantly as she waited a few seconds for him to firmly nod down at her.

“I am.”

She nodded back at him and for a second they shared a look that Sakura couldn’t quite decipher. All she knew was that her heart was nearly bursting out of her chest and she had absolutely no idea what to do with her hands. They were about to cross an imaginary boundary that couldn’t really be uncrossed afterwards but Sakura honestly couldn’t be more excited about it.

Was he feeling that as well? Was it even remotely possible that Kakashi was going through the same stuff she was?

Sakura held her breath as Kakashi threw the door open again and slipped outside, holding it open for Sakura to pass through. 

The cold curtain of water mercilessly pouring from the sky completely soaked her after a few short seconds as soon as she stepped into the sidewalk and waited for Kakashi to lock the door. Sakura quickly removed the hairband holding her hair up in her ponytail, feeling the now damp strands fall free around her shoulders as she wrapped her own arms around herself to try to warm herself up.

Her vision was slightly compromised as she squinted her eyes to protect them from the rain but as soon as she relaxed them and took in the sight of a completely soaked Kakashi turning around from the now locked door, she nearly forgot where she was and what she was doing there.

“You’re gonna catch a cold!” Kakashi exclaimed at her as soon as he stopped in front of her.

“The coat’s wet too, it’s useless to put it on.” she had to raise her voice almost to a shout to make herself heard over the loud storm but silently congratulated herself for the steadiness of it. “I guess we should have checked the weather report before.”

Kakashi stared down at her for a couple of beats before letting out an involuntary chuckle, his lips then shaping into a grin and then breaking into surprised laughter. Sakura couldn’t help but smile reflexively at the entirely soaked care-free man laughing in front of her. She wasn’t surprised at all when she fell into a fit of laughter as well, a warmth filling up her chest that was almost enough to make her forget how cold she actually was at the moment.

At that moment, she didn’t care at all that she was soaked to her very bones. There was nowhere else she’d rather be, and no one else she’d rather be with.

After a few seconds went by and their laughter slowly died down, Sakura took a shaky intake of breath as Kakashi and she simply _stopped_ and stared at each other for just a few beats too long, the pouring rain loudly falling like a curtain everywhere around them. His silver hair, which was always perpetually tousled in just the _right_ way when dry, was now several shades darker as the weight of the water kept the usually dishevelled strands stuck to the sides of his face, the front tips of it almost reaching his charcoal eyes as he stared down at her. Kakashi was standing so close to her that she could see the drops of water that accumulated and dripped from his insultingly long eyelashes, sliding down his high cheekbones.

Of course, Sakura’s brain decided that that was the _perfect_ moment to remind her of how she’d never been kissed in the rain. She had no idea what she was seeing reflected in his charcoal eyes but there was no mistaking the intensity in them.

What was he thinking of? Could it possibly be the same as her?

Suddenly, Kakashi seemed to shake himself out of his daze and looked over to his left.

“Come on, my place is right around the corner.”

He took off before she could answer and Sakura couldn’t help but sigh as she watched him walk away. For the first time ever, Sakura started to doubt her own judgment and consider the possibility that she might not be alone with the crazy feelings she’d been having lately.

Their walk in the storm was mercifully quicker than Sakura had expected as Kakashi came to a stop in front of one of the buildings on the next corner. He really hadn’t been joking when he said he lived literally just around the block. He kept his back turned to her as he fished for the keys on his now soaked track pants’ pockets and Sakura honestly couldn’t wait to step into a dry place and feel some kind of warmth around her.

After unlocking the door, Kakashi held it open for Sakura to go through first and then followed suit, clicking it shut after stepping into the building. The sudden warmth of the lobby served as a mild relief to Sakura’s cold and soaked body but it did little to stop her from shaking while she looked up at Kakashi, waiting for him to lead the way.

Sakura climbed up the stairs a few steps behind him, willing the exercise to warm up her body even though she was well aware it’d be completely useless to try to get herself warm while she had the wet clothes on. She followed him as he walked down a hallway on the second floor and stopped in front of one of the doors.

Kakashi didn’t hesitate before throwing it open, clearly knowing it would be unlocked.

“Ah!” Sakura heard a male voice exclaim from the inside but couldn’t see who its owner was while Kakashi stood on the threshold taking off his soaked sneakers and socks. “Surprise, surprise. What a fucking _dick_ move not waiting for me today, fuckface. I made pancakes, though, you’re fucking welcome.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” she watched from the hallway as Kakashi looked up at his left where the voice had come from. “But good, I’m starving.”

He turned around to face her as soon as he was fully barefoot. Sakura had quickly followed his actions and had already slid out of her own shoes and socks before he had even opened his mouth to ask her to do so. She now stood barefoot on the hallway with both soaked shoes on her hands.

“You can leave them here.” He pointed at a spot right next to the front door and stepped away to allow Sakura to walk in. “Here, give me your coat.”

“Who the fuck are you talkin… _Oh_.”

Sakura slid into the apartment and gently dropped her shoes on the indicated place, right next to Kakashi’s own sneakers and the now soaked laundry bag with the hand wrappings. She emptied the contents of her coat’s pockets and handed it to Kakashi with a thankful smile. Then, she was finally able to throw a curious glance at Kakashi’s friend, who had stopped speaking mid-speech as soon as she’d walked into his line of vision.

“Genma!” she exclaimed as soon as she laid her eyes on him, her eyebrows rising high on her forehead and her mouth opening into a wide smile.

Indeed, Genma was standing next to Kakashi’s stove with a completely shocked expression on his face and a pan on his hand, a fluffy pancake sitting on it. Sakura could see there was already a fair amount of them stacked on a plate on the dark granite island of Kakashi’s kitchen. She quickly stopped herself from curiously glancing over the rest of his place, though, and focused her eyes back on Genma. 

“Wasn’t expecting that,” Genma mumbled after a few seconds, still clearly taken by surprise.

“You two know each other,” Kakashi affirmed, nodding his head at the two of them with both hands stuffed deep into his soaked track pants’ pockets after he hung Sakura's coat at one of the hooks next to the door.

Sakura nodded at him with a smile on her face and closed the door shut behind her. When she turned to stare at Genma again, he was now watching Kakashi with the same shocked expression on his face he’d had for the last minute. She risked a glance at the man standing next to her and saw him pointedly ignoring his friend’s stare as he eyed the pancakes.

“Not bad. They look decent.”

“Do you _honestly_ want to make me have to ask about this?” Genma asked, completely ignoring Kakashi’s poor compliment.

“Your pancake is gonna burn.” Sakura pointed out and Genma quickly moved the pan to a turned-off hob. He then turned back to face the two of them and crossed his arms across his chest, waiting for explanations.

“I’m helping Sakura with self-defence.” Kakashi’s tone was completely casual as he shrugged. 

“Uhum.” Genma nodded, his eyes moving from Kakashi to Sakura as if he was trying to put 1 + 1 together.

“It’s obvious why.”

“Uhum.”

“You’re really bad at this, Kakashi,” Sakura stepped in at the poor attempt of communication between the two friends and turned to face Genma. “After the incident last week at the bar, he offered to help me out with self-defence lessons since I can’t afford any. And now I’m here because I live kind of far away and Kakashi offered me to wait here for the storm to pass before I can walk home.”

“Did he, now?” Genma asked, taking in what she had just said with a raised eyebrow. A sly grin slowly took form on his thin lips a few seconds after, though, and Sakura couldn’t quite figure why. “Holy shit. Sakura, you have no idea ho...” Genma fully smirked then, moving to transfer the pancake from the pan to the stack on the island.

“I’m gonna get us some towels,” Kakashi brutally interrupted his friend with a sharp edge to his tone and took off to another end of the studio apartment.

Apparently, Genma took Kakashi’s hint—whatever it had been about—and shrugged at Sakura before turning back to the stove to make more pancakes, still wildly grinning. Even though she was beyond confused at the interaction, Sakura gladly took the opportunity to take a quick look around while staying rooted to her spot.

The entire flat was a huge, open space sectioned into three separate parts. The high brick walls gave the entire loft a rustic look that in Sakura’s opinion highly matched the Kakashi she was slowly getting to know more and more. There was the kitchen space in which she stood, entirely decorated with black furniture. The living room section was right behind the dark granite kitchen island and there was a huge L-shaped couch facing a flat TV embedded on the far wall. A bookshelf stood next to the TV with dozens of orange and green books that Sakura couldn’t help but feel curious about.

She knew the space directly facing the living room to her right must be where his bed was but she didn’t dare look in that direction. Instead, her eyes travelled down to the floor of his kitchen island as the feeling she was being watched washed over her.

A loud gasp escaped Sakura’s mouth as her eyes locked with a pair of half-lidded brown ones who had been curiously watching her from behind the corner of the furniture.

“What, is it the dog?” Genma asked and Sakura turned to stare at him with a huge smile splattered on her face, nodding in affirmation. “Don’t worry about it, it hates everyone. That thing is the spawn of the devil.”

“Aw, I highly doubt that!”

Sakura had been jokingly scowling at Genma while placing her phone, keys, and the pepper spray bottle on the nearest kitchen counter when the feel of a cold nose pressed against her exposed ankle made her yelp and nearly jump. Looking down, she caught Pakkun curiously sniffing her from the ground.

Sakura bit her lower lip with force to stop herself from squealing at the fucking adorable blue vest the brown pug was wearing. She couldn’t help but imagine Kakashi manoeuvring the dog’s little arms to slide the vest through them and there was absolutely no way Sakura could have stopped herself from giggling at that mental image.

Pakkun stopped sniffing her and curiously looked up at her face and all Sakura wanted to do was squish his adorable dark brown snout and ears. Sakura took the freedom to bend down and tentatively reach out her hand for him to sniff. Pakkun immediately placed his cute head against it and Sakura eagerly scratched behind his ears, the grin never wavering from her face. 

There was no stopping the excited squealing coming out of Sakura's mouth as she crouched down to properly pet him.

“ _What_ the actual _fuck_?”

She heard Genma’s horrified voice and for a brief second smiled up at him while he gawked at her and Pakkun. She didn’t waste any time before turning her attention back to the pug, though. How could she look away for too long with that adorable dog looking up at her with those puppy eyes? Sakura lowered herself down to a cross-legged position on the wooden floor of Kakashi’s studio and Pakkun immediately climbed onto her lap, instantly finding himself a comfortable spot there.

“You’re such a _good_ boy, Pakkun!” she praised him, still giggling as he turned his belly up for her to scratch.

A few more seconds went by before Sakura realised the entire flat was now eerily silent, the only sounds in it being her higher-pitched voice complimenting Pakkun on his adorableness as she scratched his belly. She first looked up at where she knew Genma was standing and now found him with the same shocked expression he'd had on his face when she’d first walked into the flat a few minutes before. But he wasn’t looking at her and Pakkun anymore, though.

Sakura followed the direction his eyes were staring at and found herself staring at Kakashi, who had just returned from wherever he’d gotten the set of towels he held in his hands.

Never before had it been so easy for Sakura to read Kakashi’s face. He was staring down at her and Pakkun as if they’d literally grown three separate heads.

“He’s really adorable.” She smiled up at him, her hand never stopping while she petted Pakkun’s belly.

Kakashi didn’t say anything at first. He very slowly moved his eyes to look at Genma, who was now grinning down at his phone, and then moved them back to Sakura and his dog.

“Here.” Kakashi’s tone was nearly robotic as he clearly tried to make sense of the scene ahead of him. “The towels.”

It was at that moment that Sakura realised she had sat down on Kakashi’s wooden floor while she was entirely soaked. She felt her eyes widen as she still looked up at him.

“Oh no, I got your floor all wet.” 

“Don’t worry.” He slightly shook his head at her and walked over to the kitchen island, placing the clean towels on top of the dark granite. His eyes never once left her and Pakkun.

“Huh, I just checked the weather app,” Genma chimed in, making Sakura look up at him from her spot at the floor. “The storm is gonna continue until late afternoon.”

“No way, seriously?” Sakura felt her eyes widen again and looked up at Kakashi. “I’ll just get going, then.”

“Sakura, you don’t have to catch that rain for forty minutes.” He crossed his arms at her. His tone was finally almost back to normal for the first time since he’d seen her and Pakkun together.

Sakura forced herself to swallow before answering.

“That would mean I’d stay here the whole day.”

Kakashi hesitated for just a split second before uncrossing his arms and stuffing his hands back into the soaked pockets of his track pants.

“That’s ok,” he assured her, shrugging. “There’s plenty of food and Pakkun clearly likes you.”

She smiled down at the dog still lying belly up on her lap, his adorably cute paws raised up in the air. He _really_ did like her.

“Are you sure?” Sakura looked back up at Kakashi.

“Of course.” He shrugged again before nodding at a closed door to Sakura’s right. “If you want to shower and change out of your wet clothes, that’s ok. The bathroom is right there.”

Sakura felt her cheeks burn at his words.

“I don’t have any extra clothes.”

“Ah, Kakashi will lend you something,” Genma chimed in again with a smirk on his lips.

Kakashi shot his friend a murderous glance before moving his eyes back at Sakura. For the life of her, Sakura couldn’t read what she saw in them.

“Of course I will.” He nodded once. “It’s better than you catching a cold for staying in those wet clothes. We can wash and dry them before you head home.”

Sakura pursed her lip, slowly nodding up at him.

“I honestly can’t thank you enough for this.”

“You don’t have to. Here, take this towel, you can shower first.”

Sakura gently warned Pakkun he would need to let her stand up and he let out a whimper of protest. Giggling, she picked him up and moved him to the spot next to her. As she stood up and grabbed the towel from his outstretched hand, Sakura gave Kakashi a smile she could only hope looked normal and didn’t show the inner freak out she was having at the moment.

“Wait, let me grab some clothes for you.”

Sakura waited with an increasingly racing heart for Kakashi to return, clutching at the soft, dark blue towel as if her life depended on it. 

“The pancakes smell really good,” she tried to make up a conversation with Genma, dying for anything that could ease her rising anxiety.

“Hell yeah, they do.” He shot her a smirk from his place by the stove. “They’ll be ready by the time you finish your shower.”

Kakashi was back before she could answer. He wordlessly handed her what seemed to be an old T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, both black, and she took them with slightly shaking hands. For the life of her, Sakura was one step away from having a mental breakdown as she walked away and opened the door that led to his bathroom.

She let out a shaky breath after closing it shut behind her. Never in a billion years had she expected her day to go that way when it’d started a few hours before. Surprisingly, though, Sakura wasn’t even remotely uncomfortable with the situation. Sure, she was kinda nervous about spending hours in Kakashi’s flat wearing his clothes while she waited for her own to be cleaned and dried but Sakura trusted Kakashi immensely, and even though she’d only properly interacted with Genma once, it’d been more than enough to prove he was just as trustworthy.

Kakashi’s bathroom was immaculately clean and organised, just like the rest of his flat had been. After being used to dealing with her male friends’ completely disgusting bathrooms, the fact that Kakashi paid close attention to hygiene in his house had come as a pleasant surprise to Sakura.

She quickly stripped out of her soaked wet clothes and realised she had no idea what to do with them. She didn’t want to get his bathroom dirty or wet, so she decided to momentarily hang them on top of his shower’s glass dividers. Throwing open the glass door and stepping inside, Sakura quickly took into account what he had in there. 

On the built-in granite niche on the sidewall of the shower, Sakura saw two bottles of shampoo—she softly smiled as she recognised her own shampoo there, giggling as she imagined Kakashi using it on Pakkun—a bar of soap, shaving cream and two razors of different colours. It took her a few seconds to figure out how to use Kakashi’s shower handles, first nearly burning herself with the scalding hot temperature and then turning the cold one way too much. She finally managed to find a good, decently hot balance that made her let out a low moan as it hit her aching shoulders, making her muscles immediately relax.

Sakura willed herself to not take too long in the shower. She quickly let the water wet her already damp hair and wash away the rain before she raised her hand to grab the strawberry scented shampoo she always used. As soon as she touched the bottle, though, Sakura hesitated. She didn’t even think twice before moving her hand over to Kakashi’s shampoo and picking it up, placing a small amount of the white liquid on her hand.

The smell of _him_ completely overtook her senses as she gently massaged her own scalp with his shampoo. It was all so overwhelming that Sakura could practically imagine Kakashi as if he were in there with her when she closed her eyes to rinse off her hair.

Sakura softly cursed and shook her head at the mental image. She did _not_ need that at the moment.

As her stomach rumbled in hunger, she gladly focused on finishing off her shower and getting herself clean and warm before she could eat those delicious smelling pancakes outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> my dudes, I am officially dead.
> 
> ok, first of all, I feel like I need to address this. I struggle sooooo so so much with writing any kind of physical combats, especially hand-on-hand stuff, and I was really doing my very best to get the training to be as good as it could be. I'm pretty confident and proud of what I've got in the end but it'd still be great to hear some feedback on it, if I should maybe focus more on other stuff???? idk please tell me what you thought ahahaha
> 
> now AHSHAHSAH well I can only hope you guys enjoyed the turn this chapter got. 
> 
> I really fucking hope her first meeting with Pakkun was as good as you guys were expecting it to be bc holy SHIT I'd dare say this moment was even more expected than Sakura and Kakashi's special firsts *wink wink* (yes yes I know the boyfriend information is still being kept from Kakashi but that will change very very soon!)
> 
> once again, I'd like to thank you guys for all of the reviews and kudos!!!!!!!!! you guys know how much they mean to me and I love reading each and every one of them!
> 
> hope you enjoyed this one, my darlings!
> 
> I wish you all a great week :) x
> 
> -A


	14. intimacy

As soon as Sakura closed the bathroom door behind her, Kakashi made his way over to his kitchen cabinet and picked up a cup. He could see Genma in his peripheral vision, turned completely in Kakashi’s direction with his arms crossed across his chest. The pan with recently added pancake batter was sitting completely ignored on the stove.

Making a very obvious point of avoiding Genma’s piercing stare, Kakashi turned to the kitchen sink and poured himself some cold water. If it depended on him, he would never look Genma in the face again.

Of course, that turned out to be exceedingly hard as Genma threw one of Kakashi’s kitchen cloths straight at his head. Kakashi’s reflexes kicked in and he grabbed the material before it could hit him. Rolling his eyes, he brought the cup to his mouth to drink and turned to his friend with a raised eyebrow.

The smirk on Genma’s face was enough to make Kakashi want to leave his studio and never come back.

“Holy shit.”

“Stop.” Kakashi put the empty cup on the sink and proceeded to wash it. “Right now.”

“If you honestly think there’s any possibility I will not make a big deal out of this you are sorely mistaken, Hatake.”

“Make a big deal out of _what_ , Genma?”

Even though Kakashi had his eyes stuck on the glass cup he was washing, he knew Genma’s smirk became significantly more annoying at Kakashi’s question. Still, he refused to look.

“You like her.”

Kakashi scoffed at that as he rinsed the cup and then dried it with the cloth Genma had tried to hit him with. Sighing, he placed the cup back on the cupboard and turned to face Genma again with his arms crossed against his chest. His mood was growing steadily worse with each passing second that he spent in those wet clothes and Genma was absolutely not helping it.

“You’re fucking ridiculous.”

Genma started laughing at that, making Kakashi narrow his eyes.

“How did she know the name of your dog?”

“I might have mentioned him once or twice.” Kakashi shrugged. “Not a big deal.”

“I’m so fucking happy I’m here to see this.” Genma shook his head, the infuriating smirk still splattered on his face. “It finally happened. You brought a girl here.”

“And what the fuck is wrong with that?” Kakashi raised one eyebrow at him.

“You really want me to remind you of your stupid rule?”

“That’s for hooking up, you insufferable bastard. She’s not here for that.”

“Bet you wish she were,” Genma mumbled while flipping the pancake batter with Kakashi’s spatula.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes again at that.

“I’d take that back if I were you.”

“Ok, ok, all jokes aside.” Genma let go of the pan again and turned back to Kakashi, raising both hands in mock surrender before crossing his arms and smirking. “This is fucking great, you have no idea how happy I am.”

“That makes you an even bigger idiot. There’s nothing to be happy about.”

“Hm, so it’s not a big deal that she is the first girl to ever walk into this flat that’s not Kurenai?”

“No, because she’s only here to wait for the storm to end. She would have to walk forty minutes to get home.”

“Uhum.” Genma nodded with a knowing look in his face that made Kakashi want to punch it. “Yeah, cut the shit, Kakashi. Can you seriously tell me that if this were any other girl you wouldn’t just call her a taxi? For fuck’s sake, even if a fucking hurricane was about to hit Konoha I know you’d wait on that sidewalk outside with whatever girl it was until the taxi arrived instead of even considering inviting her up here.”

Kakashi’s eyes narrowed against Genma’s very truthful point.

“Why don’t you put Sakura in a cab, huh? Why did you invite her up here, _huh_?” Genma broke into a smirk again. “I’ll tell you why Hatake. You like her.”

“She’s my student, Genma.”

He hadn’t admitted it. He hadn’t admitted to anything out loud and they both knew he never would. Still, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of Kakashi’s tired shoulders as soon as he realised Genma _knew_.

For the past few weeks, Kakashi had been slowly driving himself completely insane trying to understand what he was feeling for Sakura. Did he fully understand any of it now? No, of course not. But even someone as emotionally constipated as Kakashi knew he had it _bad_ for her. And now, Genma knew. Even if absolutely nothing happened, sharing that burden with his friend made it all seem less dooming and maddening in Kakashi’s head.

“Only until June, right?” Genma shrugged, moving the now ready pancake to the stack on the island. “You won’t be her professor anymore after the semester ends.”

“Well, yeah.” Kakashi frowned. “That’s when she graduates.”

“Wait, she’s _graduating_?” Genma’s eyes widened as he turned back to Kakashi, empty pan in his hand. “For fuck’s sake, Kakashi, you’re a fucking _idiot_.”

“ _How_ am I an idiot? Anything like that is completely against the rules.”

“She’s an adult! And graduating in three fucking months!” Genma waved the empty pan wildly in the air. “There’s absolutely no reason for you to not shoot your shot.”

“She has a boyfriend, asshole.”

Genma narrowed his eyes at that.

“How do you know that?”

“Does it matter?” 

“Yeah, idiot, it fucking matters. Did she _tell_ you that?”

An irritated groan left Kakashi’s mouth as he rolled his eyes.

“No, she didn’t. But a guy got jealous when he saw us talking.” He did everything he could to not delve into the reason why he didn’t tell Genma the ‘guy’ was Uchiha Sasuke. If Kakashi opened up that Uchiha door at that moment there’d be irreversible consequences and he couldn’t spend the entire day sulking with Sakura in his apartment.

“That doesn’t mean _shit_ ,” Genma exclaimed. “You’re such a fucking dumbass.”

“What the fuck do you suggest I do? It’s not my business, I can’t just ask her if she’s single or not.”

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

“Oh, no, you won’t.” Kakashi shook his head profusely. “I _will_ kill you.”

Genma smirked as he poured more of the pancake batter into the pan.

“I don’t care if you do as long as ghost me gets to see you marrying that girl someday.”

Kakashi choked on his own saliva as soon as the word ‘marrying’ left Genma’s mouth.

“You’ll thank me later.” Genma adjusted the heat of the stove while balancing the pan a few centimetres above the lit hub, completely ignoring Kakashi’s coughing fit. “You could thank me at the wedding speech, I want everyone to know I made it all happen.”

“No, no. _Fuck_ _no_ ,” Kakashi managed to say, his voice slightly raspy as he recovered from the choking situation. “I’ll throw you out that window, Genma, I’m not joking.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Genma threw him an exasperated look and pointed to the bathroom door behind Kakashi with his free hand. “Your devilish dog asked her for _belly rubs_! I’m sorry, Kakashi, but it doesn’t wait by the bathroom door for _you_ to get out of your showers.”

At Genma’s words, Kakashi frowned and turned around. The sight of Pakkun lying down directly in front of the closed bathroom door with his head resting between his front paws as he patiently waited for Sakura to get out affected Kakashi more than he’d like to admit.

“What the fuck,” he mumbled as Pakkun narrowed his brown eyes up at him.

He heard Genma’s smirk behind his back and turned back around, his brows still furrowed on his forehead.

“I think what the dog is trying to say is that the pink-haired girl in there is your soulmate or something.”

Kakashi shot Genma a murderous glance at his ridiculous words.

“So _now_ you agree Pakkun speaks with his eyes,” he snarled. “How fucking convenient.”

The sound of the shower being turned off made Kakashi’s body entirely freeze for a fraction of a second.

“Genma, I swear,” he lowered his voice so that Sakura couldn’t hear them. “I will fucking skin you if you as much as open your mouth.”

“Relax, fuckface.” Genma raised a hand but mercifully matched Kakashi’s lower tone. “I never thought I’d get to see you hung up on someone, I’m probably more excited to see this happening than you are. I won’t fuck this up.”

“That’s not making me worry any fucking _less_ ,” Kakashi’s tone was a hurried whisper as he fought against raising his voice in exasperation. “Leave it alone, for fuck’s sake.”

“Sure, sure. Have fun in your shower.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened in panic as he held his breath. He absolutely could _not_ leave Genma alone with Sakura.

The sound of the bathroom door unlocking made Kakashi close his eyes in dread, a billion swear words running through his mind. What the _fuck_ was he going to do?

“Aw, Pakkun, were you waiting for me?”

The sound of Sakura’s voice made Kakashi reflexively turn his head around to see her. As soon as his eyes found her, though, he wished he hadn’t. Nothing in the entire world could have prepared him for what he saw. The sight of Sakura standing barefoot in his studio, smiling down at an eager Pakkun with her damp hair slightly tangled while wearing his clothes made every coherent thought vanish from Kakashi's head, his body stilling up for a second.

“Where can I put my clothes?” She raised her head and asked him but Kakashi barely noticed.

Kakashi had never truly felt comfortable with other people wearing his clothes, not even girls after sex. He'd never stopped to wonder why that bothered him so much, never really saw the point of questioning it. Sure, in the few occasions that Kakashi actually stuck around long enough after a hook up for the girl to pick up his shirt and put it on, he wouldn't say anything to stop her because he wasn’t _that_ big of a dick. There was also the fact that lending his shirt for a few minutes was definitely less painful than cuddling with someone he definitely didn't want to, so he'd just swallow his discomfort and let it slide.

The fact that he had so easily agreed to lend Sakura his clothes had been slightly disconcerting to him, but the sheer intensity of how much he had actually been looking forward to seeing how she’d look in them scared him far more. Yet, seeing the final result with his own eyes made Kakashi’s heart clench in a way he had never been ready for. 

“Kakashi, for fuck’s sake, show her the laundry room.”

Genma’s words mercifully whisked Kakashi away from the direction his thoughts were taking. He blinked once before forcing an eye-crinkling smile in Sakura’s direction, scratching the back of his head to try to calm himself down.

“Sorry.” He used the split second that followed the word to try to think of an excuse but gave up almost instantaneously. “It’s this way. Can you also bring the laundry bag from the floor?”

As he watched Sakura nod and walk over to the front door to pick up the damp laundry bag, Kakashi turned around and sent Genma the most terrifying glare he had in store. That look had been enough to make thousands of people shit themselves back when Kakashi was in the army but all Genma did was smirk at him. Shaking his head, Kakashi walked over to the end of the kitchen and turned the small corner with the door to his laundry room, not turning around to see if Sakura was behind him or not.

He threw the door open and turned the lights on, stepping inside the tiny room with the washing machine. Sakura’s entrancing scent immediately made him aware that she was indeed right behind him, and her soft, _Sakura_ scent made Kakashi react ridiculously to it as he always did. It was unbelievable—and honestly insulting to Kakashi’s usually exceptional self-control—how easily the natural smell of her drove him completely insane. 

There was something slightly different to it at the moment, though, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was even though he was well aware he had a more refined olfactory sense than most people. 

Kakashi did everything he could to act normal as he moved out of her way and raised his arm to show her his washing machine. Sakura flashed him a shy smile that nearly caused Kakashi to groan as she pulled open the washing machine and stuffed her clothes, socks, and the laundry bag with the used hand wrappings inside.

"Where do I leave the towel?" she asked, looking up at Kakashi.

"Here." He took it from her and folded it before placing it on one of the shelves so he could wash it later with other towels.

“You’re gonna put your clothes there too before starting it, right?” Sakura looked up at him and asked as soon as she was done.

It was then that it hit him. Kakashi couldn’t smell the familiar strawberry scent from her shampoo on her. Quite on the contrary, actually. The fresh scent of his own minty shampoo was replacing it.

Thankfully, Kakashi’s body resumed auto-pilot mode and he found himself nodding down at her even though his mind was literally short-circuiting. He left the tiny room before she could say anything else, afraid of the stupid, reckless things being in such close quarters with her after realising what he just had might encourage him to do.

Kakashi didn’t even glance at Genma as he crossed his studio and opened his wardrobe, blindly grabbing sweatpants and a shirt before walking to the bathroom and closing the door shut behind him. At last, he was able to exhale the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

The mirror was still fogged up from Sakura’s hot shower and Kakashi couldn’t see his reflection as he turned on the sink and splashed cold water on his face, willing himself to get his shit together. He looked around the room and on the back of his mind was pleasantly surprised at how Sakura hadn’t even slightly messed up his bathroom when getting out of the shower. After weeks of dealing with Genma splattering water literally everywhere as he dried himself off on the mat outside the shower, it was good to know Sakura strived to keep spaces clean and tidy just like Kakashi did.

That was quickly pushed out of his mind, though, as soon as his eyes ran up to the built-in niche in his shower wall. Her shampoo was literally right _there_. Why the hell did she use his? Had she known he would notice?

Did she _want_ him to notice?

Kakashi groaned as he took his damp clothes off, hoisting them up on the glass dividers of his shower stall and slipped in, wasting no time before turning the knobs. The cold water was good enough to ground him back to reality and clear his messy thoughts.

It wouldn’t do Kakashi any good to wonder if Sakura had wanted him to notice or not. Had he spent the entire time walking back from the gym wondering if there was even a small sliver of possibility Sakura was going through the same crazy shit he was? Yeah. What the hell could he do about it, though? Kakashi had never had feelings for anyone before, he had no idea how to proceed about it. 

It’s not like he could just _talk_ to her. That’d be ridiculous.

Kakashi activated his fastest ever shower mode, knowing Genma held in his hands the huge potential to fuck up Kakashi’s entire life in a matter of seconds. The mere thought of the things he might be saying to Sakura on the other side of the door made Kakashi pinch the bridge of his nose.

 _Just fucking shower_ , he thought to himself. _The sooner you finish the better._

He couldn’t help but wonder if Pakkun was waiting for him to finish his shower outside. Genma had said he never did but what if the pug had simply picked up on that new habit on that particular day?

Kakashi shut his eyes and sighed as his mind wandered in that particular direction.

Pakkun had actually liked Sakura. No, scratch that.

He fucking _loved_ her.

In the seven years Kakashi had had Pakkun, he had never seen the pug allow anyone that wasn’t Kakashi to even approach him. Never in a billion years would he have let anyone _pet_ him. But he'd jumped into Sakura’s lap. He _begged_ her for belly rubs.

For fuck’s sake, what did that even _mean_? Was Genma right? Did Pakkun… _know_?

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kakashi murmured to himself as he shampooed his hair and rinsed it off.

It was all probably because of the shampoo, right? Sakura had that strawberry scent to her when she arrived. _Of course_ , Pakkun had liked it, recognizing it as the scent he had on himself. Nodding to himself while picking up the soap bar, Kakashi was satisfied with the conclusion he reached. He’d test it later but it seemed a lot more reasonable than Pakkun knowing anything about how Kakashi felt about Sakura.

As soon as Kakashi started soaping up his body, though, his mind involuntarily went into absolutely forbidden territory as he thought about how he should get a grip on himself if he was going to act normal around Sakura wearing his clothes the entire day. It had just felt so fucking _right_ to see Sakura wearing his stuff, both pieces so adorably large on her that both her legs and arms were completely lost in all the extra fabric. 

Honestly, that new territory he’d been treading for the past month was beginning to terrify Kakashi in a completely innovative way. He had spent his entire life believing he would never be open to any emotional vulnerability in his life and that’d suited him well enough.

Until then.

At that very moment, Kakashi realised no other woman would ever compare to Haruno Sakura in his eyes.

 _Ok, there’s no recovering from this_ , he reasoned with himself. _You’ll just have to suck it up and live with that memory for the rest of your life._

Kakashi swallowed as soon as he realised he was utterly, completely fucked. If he was reacting like that over Sakura wearing his clothes for entirely innocent reasons, what the hell would it even be like to see her in them after they both...

No.

 _Absolutely_ not.

Kakashi mercifully finished his shower before his mind could betray him any further and wasted no time before drying himself off and pulling on his dry, clean clothes. He threw the door open with force with his damp workout clothes cluttered in his arms, ready for whatever he was about to face.

If Kakashi was being honest with himself, he had expected Genma to have scared Sakura off enough that she’d have run away at that point. What he did not expect was to see both of them casually talking in the kitchen, sharing a hearty laugh together. Sakura was sitting on one of the stools with her back to the living room, a plate with an untouched pancake sitting on it in front of her. She was gesturing with her hands while she spoke and Genma stood facing Sakura on the other side of the counter with half of a pancake on his plate, listening intently to what she was saying.

She stopped speaking as soon as she noticed Kakashi had left the bathroom, though, her head turning in his direction as she clearly lost her train of thought. Kakashi’s trained eyes didn’t miss the way she moved her jade eyes up and down his body as he stood on the threshold and he also didn’t miss the way her cheeks turned a bright red as soon as her eyes moved up to his face and she realised he had noticed it.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Kakashi asked her as he walked over to the kitchen, pushing what he’d just seen to the back of his head. 

“I wasn’t gonna start without you.”

He frowned at her.

“You didn’t have to wait, you must be starving.”

“So are you.” Sakura shrugged.

Kakashi opened his mouth to retort but the sight of Genma’s smirk from his peripheral vision made him close his mouth shut again and walk over to the laundry room to throw his stuff inside his washing machine. He decided against starting it off at that moment, though, as his stomach loudly rumbled in protest. 

Kakashi walked back over to the kitchen, closing the laundry door behind him, and picked up an empty plate and cutlery from its designated places before taking the place on the stool at the head of the island between Sakura and Genma. As soon as he did, Kakashi was able to see the top of Pakkun’s head and realised with a shock that he was lying on Sakura’s lap.

“He’s the best, honestly,” Sakura said as she noticed Kakashi staring.

Kakashi moved his eyes up to her face and saw she had a soft smile on her face as she now looked down at the pug on her lap. He moved slightly to the side and saw Pakkun was actually _sleeping_. It was beyond surprising to Kakashi to realise he wasn’t even slightly jealous at the sight. On the contrary, his own lips curled into a smile as an unfamiliar warmth spread across his chest. 

“Wow.”

Genma’s voice made Kakashi snap out of it and turn his head to glare at him. He had known his friend for more than enough years to know _exactly_ what was going on in his mind as he smirked at the two of them and Kakashi threw him a murderous glare before Genma could say anything he shouldn’t.

“Are you guys gonna eat or not?” he asked, ignoring Kakashi’s scowl.

Sakura eagerly looked up at Kakashi. She flashed him a completely dazzling smile that slightly disoriented him for a second as she waited for him to pick up a pancake from the stack and place it on his plate. 

“Hmmm,” Sakura groaned in delight as she took a bite of her pancake and swallowed. “This is amazing.”

“You’re just too hungry,” Kakashi joked as he cut out a piece of his own food.

“Hey!” Genma shot him a look of faked indignation. “I cook a lot better than you.”

“That’s not saying much, Genma.”

Sakura giggled at their back-and-forth banter and Kakashi finally brought the piece of his own pancake up to his mouth. Sure enough, it tasted amazing—not that he would ever admit it to Genma, of course.

“Well, Sakura, going back to that thing,” Genma said as he grabbed another pancake from the stack after finishing off the one he had been eating. “Isn’t it dangerous? Walking home alone so late?”

Kakashi raised his head in alarm at Genma’s words. There was no telling what his friend was planning to do and he wished he could just stop whatever it was before it happened.

“Oh.” Sakura blinked once as she grounded herself back on the subject. “Well, yeah. But thankfully Kakashi is helping me out with that now.”

“Yeah, he's _such_ a nice guy.” Genma nodded but Kakashi could see the amusement hidden in his friend’s face. “But doesn’t your boyfriend get worried about it? Can’t he pick you up or something?”

Kakashi nearly choked on the piece of pancake he’d just put in his mouth but mercifully didn’t. Regardless, it took every ounce of his strength to not strangle Genma right then and there.

“Well,” Sakura’s slight hesitation made Kakashi turn his eyes in her direction just in time to see her placing a strand of her still damp hair behind her ear. “I guess not, since I don’t have one.”

If it hadn’t been for Kakashi’s extensive training, he never would have been able to keep his face neutral at what she’d just said. Even though he successfully shielded his face from betraying his own thoughts, there was no stopping his heart from literally skipping a beat as he understood what she had just said.

Sakura was single.

Thankfully, Genma was quick to change the subject and move on, giving Kakashi a few seconds to get his shit together.

Sakura was the first and only woman to have ever managed to spike any kind of emotional interest from Kakashi in his thirty-five years of life. He had been with countless women before but never had any of them entranced him even a hundredth of a fraction as Sakura did. And _that_ was counting the fact that they’d never even touched each other properly anywhere that wasn’t their wrists, which honestly sounded ridiculous. Kakashi had gotten lost in her dazzling jade eyes so many times on that morning and they never failed to take his breath away every single time. The way he had been almost painfully aware of every single touch they’d shared, her soft skin so _right_ against his own, had been pure torture to him.

It was at that moment that Kakashi understood something Tenzou had said almost two months before.

Sakura _really_ had hit him differently.

The woman sitting next to him, the one who looked absolutely amazing wearing his clothes and had won so much of his dog’s trust that he fell asleep on her lap, had hit him in a way Kakashi had never believed to be possible.

And that was absolutely, devastatingly terrifying to him.

“Oh, is that where you two met?”

Sakura’s question forced Kakashi to focus back on the conversation happening around him. Her jade eyes were looking expectantly between him and Genma but when Kakashi looked over at his friend he saw an apologetic look in his brown eyes.

This couldn’t be good.

“Uh, no,” Genma answered, leaning forward onto the granite island over his empty plate. “We’ve known each other since university.”

“So you two enlisted together?”

Kakashi’s stomach suddenly turned as soon as he accepted they were indeed talking about what he’d suspected they had.

“No, no,” Genma smirked. “I enlisted after dropping out of uni actually, and Kakashi decided to stick around to do a masters. I never knew why.”

“I had my reasons,” Kakashi said before stuffing a piece of pancake into his mouth. It tasted like cardboard now.

Kakashi hated thinking about his past. He hated thinking of how he had decided to get a master’s degree because of a desperate attempt to honour the memory of a mother he’d never been able to meet. _She was a kind, clever, and extraordinary woman, Kakashi. The best gift I’ve ever had._ That’s all he’d ever gotten from Hatake Sakumo before his own death, which clearly was far from a decent amount of information a father should give his kid about the mom he’d never gotten to know. Far from satisfied with that shitty answer, Kakashi had vivid memories of him going through every single creek in their house when he was six, eager to find _anything_ that could help, and one day finding his mother’s many academic certificates she’d received throughout her life under a loose floorboard in his father’s study. 

Kakashi had been in awe of how much his mother had achieved and even though he’d never truly been too keen on studying, he had always assumed that maybe if he got a few academic certificates of his own he could come close to honouring her as a son. It had been completely useless, though, in the end. 

Hatake Kakashi was his father’s son and as soon as he got his hands on his master’s degree he went straight to where he’d truly wanted to be.

It hadn’t been easy to ignore all of the stares he’d gotten from the seniors in the army at first. He'd been well aware of his father’s terrific reputation and he knew the enormous weight he had been expected to carry as the White Fang’s prodigal son. Kakashi had done a pretty fucking good job at surpassing all of their expectations, though. He had not only built a reputation for himself after only a few months under service but also had turned out to become so much more than his father ever had been. By his final days in the army, Kakashi wasn’t known as the White Fang’s son anymore.

He was Kakashi of a Thousand Kills and he’d fucking _earned_ that name.

The sound of crackling thunder made Pakkun wake up with a frown and whimper, pulling Kakashi back to the present. Sakura started making soothing noises down at him, a soft smile gracing her lips, and managed to make Kakashi’s heart clench as a result.

“I really wish I could pet you right now but I’m eating,” she whispered down at the pug but loud enough for Kakashi and Genma to hear.

“How is he in your lap if you didn’t touch him to put him there?” Kakashi asked with a smirk on his lips, thankful for having his line of thought interrupted by the thunder. “Did he learn how to jump that high?”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him but it was Genma who answered.

“Actually, Kakashi needs to know about this shit. The dog was begging to get on her lap so Sakura asked me to pick it up and put it there. Of course, I knew that would _not_ end well for me but the dog was being so fucking annoying that I decided to do it. And _that’s_ how I got this bite.”

Kakashi burst into laughter as soon as Genma pulled up the sleeve of his shirt up to his shoulder and showed him the bite mark on his right bicep.

“I didn’t know he would _bite_ you,” Sakura said, clearly trying not to laugh.

“It’s ok, Sakura, this was actually good. I’ve been telling Kakashi the dog wants me dead for years and now I have proof.”

“You’re an idiot.” Kakashi shook his head at Genma, still laughing.

The next few hours went by on a similar note. The three of them spent hours hanging out and talking around Kakashi’s kitchen island, exchanging a few stories and laughs. Kakashi was fascinated to hear every single thing that came out of Sakura’s mouth. He had absolutely loved to know about how she used to refuse to nap in preschool because she wanted to _read_ and the teachers decided to put her in charge of reading out loud to put the other kids to sleep. He couldn’t shake the adorable mental image of a five-year-old Sakura proudly reading her little books while all of the other kids slept. It just fit so well with the Sakura he was having the privilege of getting to know more and more that it made him smile without even realising it.

When they realised it was 1 pm, Kakashi decided to volunteer to cook lunch since Genma had taken care of breakfast. At the exact same time he opened his mouth and started talking, though, Sakura did the same.

“Why don’t you two do it together and I’ll go take a nap?” Genma asked, clearly trying to hide his smirk.

“That’s ok with me.” Sakura looked up at Kakashi with a reluctant expression.

“Sure, let’s do it.” Kakashi stood up from his stool. “I should warn you, though, my skills in the kitchen are pretty bad.”

Sakura giggled and followed his action, gently waking Pakkun up and placing him on the floor as she did so. Kakashi watched in awe as she pulled up her now dry hair up with her hands and wrapped it around itself into a messy bun.

“How the hell did you do that?”

“Huh?” She looked up at him, her pink eyebrows slightly raised on her forehead before she realised what he was talking about. “Oh, this? I’ll teach you when you let your hair grow long enough.”

Kakashi smirked at her offer, still extremely impressed with what he’d seen.

Genma kept his word and was asleep on the couch less than two minutes later. It honestly amazed Kakashi how easy it was for Genma to nap even though he’d woken up about four hours before.

It took Sakura and Kakashi about ten minutes to wash all of the dishes from breakfast as they fell into a steady rhythm, with Sakura washing and rinsing and Kakashi drying and putting each thing where they were supposed to go. They talked during most of the time, getting to know more and more of each other with each passing minute. When they weren’t talking, they fell into a comfortable silence full of understanding that they were still bonding whether words were being said or not.

It honestly scared him how natural it all felt to live such a mundane and considerably intimate moment with Sakura. At that moment, with her standing barefoot in his kitchen while wearing his clothes and going through his fridge to see what they could cook for their Sunday lunch, it was just way too difficult to remember she was his student and absolutely _nothing_ more.

They settled for cooking pasta with tomato sauce in the end, after a very extensive and certainly unnecessary discussion which didn’t fail to amuse Kakashi to no end despite how embarrassingly domestic it was. The winning arguments had been that it was easy enough for both of them—Sakura apparently had the same culinary limitations Kakashi had—especially taking into account that they were going to be using the bottled sauce Kakashi had in his cabinet.

Even though he was absolutely terrified, Kakashi couldn’t help but love the warm feeling that started in his chest and spread throughout his entire body every time Sakura fell into laughter at something shitty and ridiculous he’d said. He could deal with the fear of those unknown waters he’d been treading on as long as he got to hear that sound and see that dazzling smile as many times as he possibly could.

And she was so _funny_. Kakashi wasn’t one to easily burst in laughter but Sakura actually managed to take him by surprise at least four times while they cooked, her clever and witty sense of humour always getting the best of him. By the time they were almost done cooking, the two of them were laughing hysterically at how they nearly dropped the entire pasta on the sink when attempting to move it to the colander. In fact, their fit of laughter was so loud and out of control that it resulted in Genma waking up.

“Everything ok back there?” He smirked from his place on the couch, still lying down.

“Yup,” Sakura answered while wiping tears of laughter from her face. “We’ve got mad ninja skills, the pasta is saved.”

There was absolutely nothing Kakashi could do to kill the huge grin he could feel splattered on his face. It had been so fucking long since he’d laughed so hard he had to clutch his stomach and gasp for air that he had nearly forgotten what it felt like. He watched as Sakura moved the now drained pasta into the pot with the sauce and mixed it all together, a soft smile still gracing her lips. As a sudden desire to kiss her took over him, the grin on Kakashi’s face faded away and gave way to the heavy feeling that was now sitting in his chest.

Things just weren’t that simple and he had to keep that in mind.

It didn’t take long for their lunch to be ready and, once again, the three of them settled around the kitchen island to eat. Their pasta turned out to taste really good at the end, which brought a confident grin to Sakura’s lips, and all of them helped themselves to at least one more serving.

As Genma set off to wash the dishes, the storm hadn’t even come close to stopping. The raindrops made a soothing sound as they collided against the glass windows of Kakashi’s studio, and the sound for some reason reminded him he had forgotten to turn on his washing machine and proceeded to get it done, calculating that it’d now take approximately two hours for their clothes to be washed and dried.

“Do you guys have a set of cards?” Sakura asked as soon as Kakashi closed the laundry room door behind him.

Nodding, he crossed his studio to pick up his deck of cards and walked out back to his kitchen. Genma excused himself to the bathroom while they got everything ready, which suited Kakashi well enough. Genma was a major cheater in all possible card games—just like Kakashi, of course—and it was good to keep him far away while prepping everything. 

Sakura pulled the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt up and Kakashi couldn’t help but notice the bruises starting to form on her wrists.

“Shit,” he said as his brows furrowed. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to actually hurt you.”

Sakura shot him a confused look before glancing down at her own wrists.

“Ah, it’s fine.” She smiled up at him and waved her hand dismissively. “I bruise ridiculously easily, I don’t mind at all.”

Her nonchalance didn’t help in easing down the slight guilt sitting on Kakashi's chest at the knowledge that he’d hurt her. It had never been his intention to do so and it sucked to know he'd done it anyway. Sakura started shuffling the cards for a few seconds before speaking again, clearly noticing he was still beating himself up over it.

“Stop overthinking, Kakashi. Really, I like them.”

Kakashi swallowed at her final words, not daring to move a single muscle as he tried to grasp the fact that he had indeed just heard what he'd heard.

"I mean," Sakura immediately blurted out, her eyes widening and her face burning bright red as she realised what she'd said, "They make me feel like I'm making progress. That's what I meant, not... anything else."

Unsurprisingly, the sight of a blushing Sakura desperately trying to un-say what she'd said turned out to turn Kakashi's own shock into sheer amusement.

"Maa, Sakura, I must say I hadn't interpreted it any differently until you brought it up," he lied, a smirk taking shape on his lips as Sakura narrowed her eyes at him.

As usual with the worst possible timing in the world, Genma reappeared before Sakura could answer and ruined Kakashi's fun. He knew he should be relieved they wouldn't delve into any of that any further, but he really wanted to tease Sakura further if it meant she'd keep narrowing her eyes at him. Their dynamics had entirely shifted over the past few weeks and Kakashi had nearly forgotten how amazing it was to piss her off.

Anyhow, the three of them carried on playing games like Gin Rummy and Slapjack, both light and fun enough to pass the time. It amused Kakashi how amazing Sakura actually was at Slapjack, basically wiping the floor with him and Genma with her unbelievable speed to slap the Jack every time it showed up. 

“Does anyone want a beer?” Genma asked, putting his cards facedown on the island and turning in the direction of the fridge.

Both Kakashi and Sakura accepted and soon enough the three of them had opened bottles of beer in their hands. It didn’t go unnoticed by Kakashi how Sakura scowled as she took the first sip of hers.

“Not a fan?” he smiled. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

“I’m more of a white wine kind of girl.” She placed the bottle down on the dark granite and shrugged, smiling. “But I need to broaden my horizons. Can’t be working at a bar and not drink anything that’s not a Chardonnay.”

Time quickly flew by that afternoon. They spent hours and hours playing and laughing and talking around the kitchen island, drinking beer and having fun. It was with surprise that Kakashi at some point realised the soothing storm sounds had come to a stop as Genma finished telling a ridiculous story of their times in university. He turned his head to the window and saw that it really wasn’t raining anymore. 

There was a heavy weight in his chest as Kakashi realised there were no more excuses for Sakura to stay anymore.

“Oh, shit,” Sakura said as soon as she turned her head around to look at the window and then glanced down at her watch. “Didn’t notice it was so late.”

“What time is it?” Genma asked, taking a sip of his fourth beer.

“A little past five-thirty,” she said, her shoulders slightly slouching. “I should probably get going.”

“Yeah, of course.” Kakashi nodded and stood out from his stool. “I’ll go get your stuff.”

“No, no, I can do it.” She hopped out of her stool and avoided stepping on Pakkun where he loyally laid next to her the entire afternoon.

Sakura burst into giggles as she pulled her hair from her face and smiled up at him, her nose and cheeks slightly flushed. It was adorable how much of an effect two beers had on her while that same amount felt like water to Kakashi. 

He watched as Sakura threw open the door to the laundry room and slipped inside. Kakashi sighed and picked up the third bottle he’d been drinking, drinking the rest of it while feeling sorry as hell that the day had come to an end.

Sakura quickly reappeared again with her stuff huddled up in her arms and walked straight to the bathroom. Pakkun’s little paws tapped steadily on the wooden floor as he followed her eagerly and Sakura giggled as he tried to sneak into the bathroom before she could close the door.

“Can he get in here?” she asked Kakashi.

“Sure.” He shrugged.

Sakura let Pakkun in and closed the door behind them.

“Your dog will see her naked before you do,” Genma snorted and took another sip of his beer.

“You are literally the fucking worst.” Kakashi glared at him, picking up all of the empty bottles from the island and moving them to the bin he used to throw glass in.

Genma shrugged and smirked but thankfully didn’t say anything else.

“I’m gonna walk her home, can you do me a favour?” Kakashi asked, ignoring how Genma’s infuriating smirk widened at that. “No questions asked.” 

Genma furrowed his eyebrows at Kakashi before nodding.

“Are you gonna wash your hair tonight?” Kakashi carried on.

“Uh, yes.”

“Can you use the other shampoo that's there? The strawberry one.”

Genma was about to answer when the door to the bathroom opened and Sakura emerged wearing her own clothes with Kakashi’s folded nicely on her arms.

“Where can I leave them?”

Kakashi walked around the island in her direction and stood out his arm to take them.

“Do you want to go now?” he asked.

“Well, I wouldn’t use the word ‘want’.”

The sound of Genma choking on his beer made it harder for Kakashi not to react to Sakura’s boldness. He was left completely speechless and the proud grin she shot him ending in her softly biting her lower lip as she realised the effect of her words was nearly enough to make him hit an early grave.

Maybe he really shouldn’t walk her home.

 _Who the fuck are you kidding? Of course, you’re walking her home_ , Kakashi thought to himself as he cleared his throat and walked over to his bed to throw the clothes she used on top of it.

“Ok, let’s go.” He grabbed a hoodie of his own and put it on over his head, nodding at her as she studied him.

Her lips broke into another grin as she nodded at him.

“Let’s.”

Sakura said her goodbyes to Genma and thanked him for everything. Kakashi watched as she put on her socks and sneakers and opened the door for her to pass through while he put his shoes on himself. It was then that Kakashi heard the sad whimpers from Pakkun and turned around just in time to see the pug coming in their direction.

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll be back soon,” Kakashi said.

He was left completely speechless again, though, as Pakkun went straight past him and gently bit Sakura’s shoelaces, undoing the knot she’d made.

“Aw,” Sakura swooned, crouching to pet Pakkun with a smile on her face. “I have to go, buddy, I’m sorry. It was an honour meeting you! Take care of your daddy, ok?”

Pakkun whimpered sadly as she scratched behind his ears and Kakashi looked over at Genma to see if he was hallucinating the scene. All Genma did, though, was silently mouth the word ‘daddy’ back at Kakashi before smirking and bringing the bottle of beer up to his lips.

Deciding it was best to get the fuck out of that studio before anything else happened, Kakashi quickly finished putting his shoes on and grabbed his phones and keys as he asked whether Sakura was ready. She stood up and nodded, waving one last time at Genma and Pakkun before taking a step back to allow Kakashi to walk out of his studio. They went down the stairs together in silence, Sakura putting on her coat on the way down. She closed the buttons of it as Kakashi threw open the front door to his building and slipped out before him.

“Thank you, again,” she said as they fell into step next to each other on the sidewalk. “It was really fun.”

“No need to thank me, Sakura, please.” Kakashi smiled down at her, stuffing both hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “But, yeah, it was really fun.”

She smiled back at him and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her coat.

“When do you want to have another training?” he asked her. “The sooner the better.”

“Well, since it’s so early in the morning I wouldn’t mind training on weekdays as long as there’s time to shower before class.”

“You can shower at the gym,” he suggested.

“Sounds great. I only have 9ams on Tuesdays and Fridays and they’re with _you_ , so it’s fine to be late.”

Kakashi smirked at her words.

“What nights do you work other than Friday?”

“Sundays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, but the bar closes at 2 am those days.”

“You’re working tonight?”

“Yup.” Sakura nodded. “My shift starts at eight.”

“You’ll have to walk the entire way back here? That sucks.”

“So will you.” She shrugged and then scowled up at him. “Kakashi, don’t you dare pick me up, I’m serious.”

He laughed at her adorable scowl and held up his hands in mock surrender.

“Ok, ok, I won’t. You won’t be alone at 2 am, though, will you?”

“Nope.” She shook his head. “My coworker will walk with me, I’ll be fine.”

“Ok, then.”

Kakashi tried his best but there was no stopping the smile forming on his lips. He didn’t even know _why_ he was smiling. To be honest, he had no idea of anything that was happening in his life at the moment and for the first time in his life Kakashi was kind of ok with that.

The sky was nearly completely dark at that point and the street lamps came to life as they crossed the corner of the Rusty Kunai’s street.

“So, what days?” She looked up at him.

“Are Tuesdays and Fridays good? Since you don’t work the nights before.”

Sakura nodded and slightly winced as they stepped down the curb of the sidewalk to cross the street.

“Sore?” Kakashi asked her curiously, one eyebrow raised in his forehead.

“Of course not,” she scowled at him again. “I don’t get _sore_.”

Kakashi hummed in response and nodded, fighting against the smirk that threatened to form on his lips. He had no idea why Sakura was trying to hide her soreness from him but it was amusing nonetheless.

“I loved meeting Pakkun, by the way.”

He looked down at her and felt his heart clench at the soft smile forming on her lips as she looked up at him. 

“He loved meeting you too,” Kakashi said. “Clearly.”

“Can I ask something?” She smiled up at him.

“Sure.” Kakashi’s eyebrows went up in his forehead at her question.

“What did you buy for him at the winter festival?”

Out of all the possible questions she could have asked him, Kakashi hadn’t expected that one. He scratched the back of his head for a few seconds before answering, giving her an eye-crinkling smile.

“It was that blue vest he was wearing.”

“Really!” Sakura exclaimed, her jade eyes sparkling as she looked up at him with a huge smile on her lips. “Amazing choice, it suits him really well.”

“I think so too,” he answered, unable to stop himself from smiling genuinely as he put his hand back into his pocket.

They fell into a comfortable silence for the next few minutes. That particular walk was unlike any of the previous ones they’d taken since there were people walking to and fro around them on the sidewalks and multiple cars on the street, everyone minding their own business. Kakashi realised it truly hadn’t been necessary for him to walk her home so early while the streets were busy but he didn’t mind any time he could spend with her, not quite ready to end their day together yet.

“What made you think I had a boyfriend?”

For a second, Kakashi’s heart completely stopped beating in his chest. Looking down at her face while she walked next to him, he found Sakura was keeping her eyes set on the path ahead of them but there was no mistaking the light blush on her cheeks as she waited for his answer.

He took an extra second to clear his throat before answering, willing himself to not fuck anything up.

“Because of your friend’s reaction to seeing us talking at the winter festival.” 

“Ah,” Sakura nodded. “Makes sense.”

“Does it?”

She glanced up at him for a second before sighing and looking away again.

“We used to date but I broke up with him two years ago. He’s not quite over it yet, though.”

Kakashi hummed as he processed what she’d told him. He didn’t blame the youngest Uchiha for still being hung up on Sakura even after two years, she was absolutely one of a kind and losing her was probably something one would regret for a lifetime.

“And you two are still friends?” he asked. He had no idea why he was still asking questions but the words had left his mouth before he had the opportunity to think them over.

“Well, yeah.” Sakura sighed. “We’ve been in this group for almost ten years and it didn’t feel right to make our friends pick sides after we broke up.”

Kakashi hummed in understanding.

“It sucks sometimes, though,” Sakura added while she brushed her hair off of her face. “Sometimes I wonder if it’d be easier for him to let it go if we didn’t see each other so much.”

“It’s not your responsibility.” Kakashi shrugged. “If he feels like he needs space he should be the one to back off for a while.”

“He would _never_.” She scoffed. “He really thinks we’ll get back together someday, there’s no way he’d let his sights off of me voluntarily. You saw the way he acted at the winter festival.”

Kakashi was sure they were stepping into dangerous territory, but for the life of him he couldn’t stop himself as his mouth opened to ask a question that made him hold his breath in anticipation for the answer.

“Hasn’t he seen you with anyone else since you broke up?”

Sakura shook her head while glancing up at him. She was usually so easy for him to read but at that moment there was no telling what he found in her jade eyes.

“I’ve been respecting his space for the past two years, didn’t want to make things worse.” She shrugged. “Also, no one really interested me before.”

Before what?

_Before what?_

Sakura couldn’t possibly mean before _him_ , right? 

No, of course not.

Kakashi hummed as he looked down at her to see whether he could figure out anything on her face. She had both eyes set on the way ahead of them but he could see she was chewing on her lower lip in nervousness.

Was that _seriously_ happening? No, right? 

Kakashi knew it was more likely for him to be losing his mind than for Sakura to admit she was interested in him but he couldn’t help but wonder _what if_.

“I hope he gets over you soon enough, then.”

His heart momentarily stopped in his chest as Sakura looked up at him curiously. Her lips broke into a shy smile and she looked away for a second before setting her eyes on him again.

“Me too.”

Kakashi swallowed as the anticipation of what came next took over his body. He wasn’t used to conversations such as this one and he hated the effect it had on him.

“What about you?” she asked after a few seconds. “Any interesting stories about your exes?”

Kakashi chuckled at her question and shook his head.

“No, no exes.”

“No exes?” Sakura’s eyes widened as she looked up at him. “At all?”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t help but smile at her reaction. “Why the surprise?”

His smile turned into a smirk as Sakura violently blushed at his question.

“No reason.” She shrugged and looked away. “I just figured you’d have broken some hearts along the way.”

Kakashi burst into laughter at her words and was happy to see how she immediately smiled back in response.

“There were a few girls that wanted more.” He shrugged, still smiling as an aftermath of his laughter. “They were probably pretty pissed when I didn’t but I was always clear with what they could expect from me.” 

“Why, though?” Sakura asked, raising one eyebrow. “Just never wanted a relationship?”

Kakashi allowed himself to really, _really_ think of what he should say next. He was well aware he should end the subject as quickly as he could and not say anything compromising but, as much as he knew it was the right thing to do, he just couldn’t stop himself from testing the waters for a second.

“I guess no one really interested me before.”

His heart felt like it would most likely burst out of his chest as Sakura looked up at him with her mouth slightly opened in surprise. He just really fucking hoped she wouldn’t ask ‘before what’.

Kakashi had no idea what he’d do if she did.

Thankfully, though, all she did was nod and look back at the sidewalk, her pink hair shielding her face from his eyes. Kakashi sighed in relief and allowed them to fall into silence again, his heart thumping ridiculously loud in his chest. It was honestly insulting to Kakashi to have all of this happening to him now. He liked it much better when his mind was free to focus on anything else that wasn’t Haruno Sakura and his body didn’t pathetically react to something as simple as a glance from her.

He had no idea what conclusions could be reached from the conversation they’d just had but something had definitely happened.

They were getting considerably close to her building at that point, only a block and a half away. Kakashi’s mind was running off at lightning speed, thinking whether he should say anything else or not.

For fuck’s sake, he’d kill to be able to know what was running through her mind then.

As they turned the corner to Sakura’s street, Kakashi was nearly inducing himself into a stroke from the amount of overthinking his mind was doing. For a man whose mind usually thrived in silence and calmness, this was absolute torture.

“I had a lot of fun today,” Sakura said with a shy voice, securing a strand of her pink hair behind her ear. “I know I’ve said it before but I can’t thank you enough, honestly.”

He had to physically stop himself from sighing in relief at her having spoken.

“Sakura, stop thanking me. I wouldn’t do any of it if I didn’t want to.” 

She smiled up at him and caused his breath to hitch in his chest. Did she have any idea how beautiful she was?

“It was nice finding out you suck at Slapjack.” She raised an eyebrow at him as she smirked.

“Sounds like someone is getting cocky.” Kakashi looked down at her with furrowed eyebrows, doing his very best to stop himself from smiling.

“And you’re delusional if you think it’s not true.”

There was no holding back his laughter at her amazing sassiness. Kakashi shook his head down at her in complete disbelief.

“Try to beat me at Poker and I’ll wipe the floor with you.”

The sound of Sakura’s laughter made Kakashi’s smile widen reflexively. She threw her head back for a second while she laughed before looking up at him with a sparkle in her jade eyes.

“Oh, you’re _on_.”

The two of them crossed the street to reach her building, still smiling and chuckling. Kakashi was relieved the tension from before had dissipated towards the end. He was sure something had happened then but he wasn’t good at dealing with his feelings and acting towards them on the spot. He was desperate for some time alone so he could try to make sense over everything.

Yet, his chest felt heavy as they both stopped in front of Sakura’s building and she pulled out her keys from her coat’s pocket.

“Thanks for walking me home, you didn’t have to.” She looked up at him and smiled.

“It might have been an exaggeration of my part.” Kakashi shrugged and took a look at the busy street around them.

“I’m glad you did, though.”

Kakashi swallowed as he looked down at her as her words reached his ears.

“So am I.”

At that moment, a bomb could hit Konoha and Kakashi wouldn’t even realise it. As he looked down at Sakura’s gleaming eyes and slightly parted lips, all he gave a shit about was the two of them standing on the sidewalk in front of her building.

Kakashi had a hard time breathing normally as Sakura used the tip of her tongue to wet her lips, making his body tense immediately. That woman would be the death of him and at that moment he was completely ok with it.

What if he just kissed her? What could possibly come out of it?

Still, as much as he wanted to, Kakashi just couldn’t allow himself to blindly jump into this without thinking first. Sakura drove him completely insane and _yes_ , spending such a casual day with her made him desperately yearn for more, but that didn’t mean Kakashi was any less terrified of what was going on inside of him.

He needed to think. He needed to understand what was happening with him and he couldn’t do that with her there.

It took every single ounce of strength in his body to force himself to clear his throat and look away from Sakura’s face. She reflexively did the same and let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking up at her building.

“Don’t be.” He shook his head at her and waited until her eyes found their way back to his. “I’ll see you Tuesday, right?”

Sakura nodded at him, not saying anything else.

“It was great, Sakura. Really.”

“Yeah, it was.” She gave him a shy smile before shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I’ll get going, then.”

Kakashi nodded at her words and watched as she unlocked the front door of her building. The bright light from the lobby made Kakashi squint his eyes reflexively as they’d gotten used to the dark of the early evening. He took a few steps back and waved at Sakura as she smiled once again before closing the door shut. The breath Kakashi hadn’t even realised he’d been holding was finally released as he looked at the closed door for a few seconds before turning around and walking back to his place.

.

.

.

Kakashi took a little bit longer than necessary to go upstairs to his studio. He knew Genma would be insufferably insistent on the subject and after spending forty minutes trying to make sense out of what had just happened, Kakashi wasn’t in the mood to discuss any of it with his friend. Still, the need to take a piss after drinking three beers spoke louder in Kakashi’s mind. It absolutely sucked how he could easily drink three bottles and not even get slightly buzzed but still desperately need to piss nonetheless.

Absolutely nothing in the world was fair and Kakashi fucking _hated_ it.

Kakashi threw the door to his studio open and made a straight beeline to the bathroom, completely ignoring Genma before he could even say anything.

After taking care of his business and washing his hands, Kakashi wondered how long he could stay in the bathroom to avoid seeing his friend. Judging by the way his stomach loudly protested as if on cue, he guessed not long enough. Kakashi stepped out of the bathroom and found Genma leaning sideways on the kitchen island, an opened box of pizza resting next to him.

Kakashi was so relieved to see the food he didn’t even tell Genma where he could stick the insufferable smirk he had on his face as he walked over to his kitchen island to join him.

“So?”

Kakashi glared at his friend as he grabbed a slice of pizza and took a bite. As he chewed, he realised Genma’s shoulder-length hair was slightly damp. Remembering the favour he had asked of him before leaving, Kakashi quickly swallowed before speaking.

“Did you wash your hair?”

“Yeah.” Genma nodded. “How did it go with Sakura?”

Kakashi completely ignored his question as he put the pizza down and crossed the apartment to pick up Pakkun. The pug looked curiously up at him as Kakashi held him in his arms but as soon as he realised he was being brought to Genma, he started growling.

“ _What_ the fuck are you doing?” Genma asked, his eyes wide in his face. “Hey, keep it away from me!”

Kakashi changed his hold on Pakkun and extended his arms in front of him with the pug facing Genma as they chased him while the guy ridiculously backed away into the corner of Kakashi's kitchen. For a few seconds, the entire studio was completely filled with furious growls from Pakkun and curses from Genma as he tried to keep Pakkun away from his face.

“Stay still, for fuck’s sake!” Kakashi exclaimed.

“It’s gonna bite me!” Genma screamed.

“I want him to smell you!”

“ _What_?”

Genma’s confusion meant he stopped moving for a second and Kakashi took advantage of it to advance in his direction. His friend screamed as Pakkun lunged forward to bite him and Kakashi pulled his arm back just in time to stop it from happening.

He'd gotten close enough to make it possible for both him and Pakkun to smell Genma and it was clear the strawberry scent from Sakura’s shampoo hadn’t been enough to make Pakkun like Genma any better. Kakashi put Pakkun down and watched as the dog walked away lazily back to his corner.

“ _What the fuck was that_!” Genma screamed, looking at Kakashi as if he’d utterly betrayed him.

Kakashi looked back over at him and saw Genma was spreading his arms wide dramatically as he demanded explanations from Kakashi.

“I said no questions asked.”

“That was out of the window as soon as you tried to murder me.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes at Genma’s overreaction.

“For fuck’s sake, chill. That shampoo I’ve been using on Pakkun is the same as Sakura’s and I wanted to see if that was why he liked her so much.”

Genma looked back at Kakashi for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, clutching his stomach as he bent forward. Kakashi didn’t find it even slightly funny and his unimpressed face certainly showed it.

“Oh wow, this is even better than I’d thought.” Genma straightened back up and wiped away tears from his eyes. “Ok, you’re forgiven. You’re completely hooked, my friend, and I couldn’t be happier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, my darlings!!!!!
> 
> ehehehehe hope you guys enjoyed this longer chapter than usual! I had a lot of fun writing it, I'm so excited about this next step in their relationship!!!!!
> 
> two days ago it completed one month since I've started this fanfic and honestly never in my wildest dreams had I expected to get this amount of response and visibility as it's getting. it's completely mindblowing to me and I'm so so so happy you guys are enjoying it! it really motivates me to keep going!
> 
> thanks a lot for your feedback on the training scene for chapter 13! I really appreciated them all!!!!
> 
> once again, thanks a lot for all the lovely reviews and kudos! you guys know how much I love them!!!
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope you have a great weekend! <3 x
> 
> -A


	15. what if?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021

“I’m actually starting to think Shika will get the guts to ask Temari out before Naruto and Hinata admit they’re hot for each other.” Ino shook her head on the other side of the table, her long ponytail swinging behind her back. “It’s honestly ridiculous.”

“Why do you care?” Sasuke asked, his voice drawling. Sakura didn’t even need to look at him to know exactly what his face looked like at that moment, completely covered in disdain.

“Ugh.” Ino rolled her eyes. “You guys are so fucking lame I don’t know why I bother.”

Sakura used her chopsticks to play with the narutomaki left in her bowl as a sigh escaped her mouth. If it had been any other day she would gladly contribute to the gossip session but she honestly couldn’t bring herself to care on that Monday.

Not only did every single ounce of her body ache from her training with Kakashi the previous day but her mind was also entirely filled up with _him_.

“I doubt any of those will happen at all,” Sai pitched in. “Both Dickless _and_ Shikamaru are useless.”

Sakura watched as Ino’s glossed lips opened in a sly grin while she leaned forward onto their usual table at Ichiraku’s, turning her head to her left to stare at Sai.

“Maybe we should help them out a little bit.”

Sasuke moved on his seat beside Sakura and fished his wallet out of the pocket of his jeans, clearly done with the topic on the table. 

“You’re leaving?” Sakura asked, glancing at him.

His answer consisted of only a nod. Sasuke didn’t waste any time before standing up and grabbing his jacket from the hook on the wall next to their table. The front door to the restaurant opened and Shikamaru walked in as Sasuke was pulling on his jacket. The raven-haired boy picked up his glass of water and drank the rest of it before giving off a curt goodbye and walking away to the counter to pay. Sakura waved goodbye at Sasuke and smiled at Shika as he approached their table, sitting down next to Sakura on her other side where Sasuke hadn’t been and immediately letting out a groan.

“Fuck.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him, ignoring Ino and Sai’s muffled whispers as they discussed their matchmaking plans regardless of one of his targets having just arrived.

“Aw, you forgot to order, didn’t you?” She furrowed her eyebrows in faked pity before scoffing. “Convenient.”

“You always get here after me, I got used to walking straight to our table.”

“You’re lucky I want a brownie.” Sakura rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

After Shika told her what he wanted, Sakura stuck out her tongue at his victorious smirk before she put the narutomaki in her mouth and scooted to the other end of the bench, groaning at the soreness in her muscles. She wasn’t in the least bothered about standing in line for a while since a few minutes alone would do her well to try to bring some peace and order to her currently chaotic mind.

Of course, that was easier said than done. For the past eighteen hours, all Sakura could think of was how close she had been to kissing Kakashi the night before.

A _lot_ closer than she should have been.

All of the hairs on Sakura’s body stood as she closed her eyes and perfectly recalled Kakashi’s charcoal eyes looking down at her, his silver eyebrows slightly furrowed as if he were deeply concentrated. That was the craziest part of it all. All she could think of at that moment had been how much she wanted to just pull him down and kiss that stupid mouth and for a second there she almost did. 

If Kakashi hadn’t looked away exactly when he did, Sakura had no idea what she would have done. She had apologised without thinking as soon as he moved his eyes away but she hadn’t expected him to respond to it. That ‘don’t be’ he'd said must mean he knew exactly what she had apologised for, right? And if he knew she’d been thinking of kissing him and it took him that long to look away…

Was it really possible he had been thinking the same?

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose as her heart picked up speed inside her chest. Never before had she been that affected by anyone else and it honestly terrified her. She just didn’t know what to do.

She didn’t know what she _wanted_.

Sure, with her eyes closed Sakura could practically _feel_ Kakashi’s firm grip on her wrist and if she really concentrated she could perfectly recall the bittersweet torture it had been to spend the entire day wearing his clothes, his scent surrounding her like a blanket for hours on end. She'd fucking loved all that and she knew she wanted _more_.

But still, Sakura was absolutely terrified. There were so many huge factors playing parts on the situation and they were simply impossible to ignore. For starters, Kakashi was her professor. Not only that but he was also her thesis supervisor. If they did anything and people found out, her thesis could be seriously compromised and Sakura simply couldn’t risk it. 

Also, in Sakura’s almost twenty-two years of life, she had never been with anyone else other than Sasuke. Sure, she had learned many things with him during their relationship—and in all their messy hook-ups that followed their breakup—but still, Sasuke was just a guy. He hadn’t been much more experienced than her when they got together for the first time and it had been completely fine to learn everything together as they went.

Kakashi was a _man_ , though.

Sakura wasn’t sure how old he was but she would guess he was in his early thirties. What the fuck would she even _do_ with him? There was no way they were even slightly on the same level of experiences and Sakura was terrified of making a fool of herself. 

Ok, sure, Sakura was also well aware that _that_ was a great excuse to shut her eyes to the real reason why she was so terrified to even think what it would be like to do anything with Kakashi, but she couldn’t bring herself to knock it out at the moment. It was just that the attraction she felt for him was completely off charts, skyrocketing way beyond any level of normal attractiveness she’d ever felt towards anyone else before, and she wasn't sure she could deal with that at the moment. 

And for fuck’s sake, their _chemistry_. Every single time Kakashi looked at her for a second too long or came close enough for her to touch or get a whiff of his scent Sakura nearly whimpered in desire. 

As much as it terrified her, though, Sakura was glad to finally admit to herself how physically attracted she actually was to Kakashi. That acceptance served a great and efficient purpose to distract her from what scared her above everything else:

The fact that she actually did feel something for him.

“Sakura!”

A relieved sigh escaped Sakura’s mouth as she smiled at Ayame after the person in front of her walked away. As it turned out, getting those few minutes alone on the line had been a huge mistake.

“Hey again.” Sakura forced herself to smile. “Are there any brownies left?”

A while later, Sakura walked back to their table to wait for her brownies and Shika’s ramen. She groaned at the ache as she sat back down on the table and all of her friends looked at her curiously.

“What’s wrong?” Ino asked, one slender blonde eyebrow raised high on her forehead as her blue eyes cautiously studied Sakura.

“Uh, I worked out yesterday.”

“Seriously? Where?” 

Sakura swallowed before answering, trying to think of anything that sounded believable.

“My place.” 

The answer had been as simple as it could possibly be but her heart was thumping ridiculously strong as she waited for her friends to react, wondering what the fuck she’d do if they asked for more information. Sakura tried to hide the relief from her face as Ino nodded and didn’t ask anything else, falling into describing her own workout routine her personal trainer had planned out for her instead.

A few minutes went by before her brownie and Shika’s lunch arrived at the table. Sakura was in desperate need of anything sweet and didn’t waste any time before taking a bite off of it, groaning at the delicious extra flavour the layer of caramel provided. Less than five minutes later, Ino and Sai stood up and announced they were leaving to their perceptions on psychological issues class and said their goodbyes—althougbSakura was pretty sure they just wanted to leave so they could discuss Shikamaru and Temari in peace. 

Sakura checked her watch and saw she still had quite some time left before her gene expression and omics lecture, so she didn’t need to hurry with her dessert. She immediately put another bite of the brownie in her mouth, enjoying it to the fullest. It did very little to soothe either her nerves or her mind but it was still a hell of an amazing brownie and that was what she needed at the moment.

“What’s up with you?”

Shika’s sudden question made Sakura turn to him with wide eyes, her eyebrows high on her forehead. She quickly swallowed the brownie before speaking.

“What?” 

“The whole time you were standing in line you looked like you were on the verge of a breakdown.”

Sakura silently cursed Shika’s perceptiveness. She loved her friend to pieces but deeply wished he would just pretend to not notice anything was going on with her like he did with everyone else.

“I’m worried about my thesis,” she said the first thing that came to her mind.

Shika raised an eyebrow at her.

“Just say you don’t want to tell me.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you." Sakura rolled her eyes. "It’s just… I don’t even _know_. And I know you, you don’t want to be bothered with it.”

“If you know me you also know I just wouldn’t have asked.”

Instead of answering, Sakura stuffed her mouth with more brownie.

“Are you ok?”

She nodded at him, taking the longest time in the entire world to chew. Shikamaru shrugged and turned back to his bowl, putting a mouthful of ramen in his mouth.

Honestly, Sakura truly wished she could tell Shikamaru about her situation. For starters, she knew she could count on his discretion and honesty. He might not be attracted to men and be able to help her out in that particular area as much as Ino could, but he wouldn’t hesitate to tell Sakura exactly what she needed to hear to put some sense in her head.

She knew she couldn’t tell him, though. She knew Shikamaru would never tell anyone anything but she still had no idea what she would even _say_ to him.

'I’m taking private self-defence lessons from my professor’? That wasn’t even a problem.

‘I desperately want to fuck my professor’? _True_ , but not the entirety of it.

Sakura put another bite of brownie in her mouth, her eyes focused on the plate in front of her as her brain worked.

‘I might be falling for my professor.’

Sakura stopped chewing as soon as the sentence settled on her mind. She saw Shikamaru curiously watching her in her peripheral vision but couldn’t bring herself to face him.

 _Was_ she?

No, of course not. She barely _knew_ Kakashi. Sure, Sakura was loving to get to know him more and more and it was scary to find out she clicked so well with him but that didn’t _mean_ anything. It was just way too soon and it’d be stupid of her to let her horny brain tell her this was anything more than what it was.

“How’s Temari?” Sakura asked, desperate for something to distract her.

Shikamaru turned his head and scowled at her. Sakura didn’t need to hear any words coming out of his mouth to know exactly what he was saying in his mind.

_If I’m not asking, you don’t get to._

Sakura sighed, looking back down at her plate. Putting the last bite of the brownie in her mouth, Sakura leaned back until her back hit the wall behind her.

“Did I tell you I got called for another interview?” Shikamaru asked, not turning his head to look at her as he moved his chopsticks in his bowl.

“Shika, that’s _great_!" Sakura raised her eyebrows as a smile formed on her lips. "I told you companies would be killing each other to hire you.”

“I wish they wouldn’t,” he groaned. “Such a drag.”

“Just pick the one that pays the best.”

“What else would I do?” He finally turned his head back and smiled at her.

Sakura giggled and lightly punched his arm. 

Of course, Shikamaru had always been bound to be the first successful one in their group. He could be the laziest and least ambitious guy in the whole world but he was also the biggest fucking genius there was. Sakura couldn’t help but imagine how Shika would be a force to be reckoned with if he had any motivations to achieve anything beyond a normal and comfortable life.

Sakura stretched her arm forward so she could grab her water and the sleeve of her shirt moved up a bit, exposing her bruised wrist. Of course, Shikamaru’s perceptive eyes picked up on the now purple marks before Sakura could do anything to hide them. He shot Sakura a questioning look with a sharp eyebrow raised in his forehead and she brought the cup to her lips to avoid answering anything, pretending she had no idea what was going on.

Shikamaru waited, though, to Sakura’s utter despair.

“Where the hell did you get those?” he asked as soon as Sakura put the cup down.

“Working out.” She finally looked at her friend, her face looking as casual as it was humanly possible for her.

“Hm.” Shikamaru nodded. “Interesting.”

“ _Not_ interesting.” Sakura rolled her eyes at him.

“I beg to differ, it’s not every day you ‘work out’, Sakura.” He used two fingers to make up air quotes as she smirked at her.

Heat crawled up to Sakura’s face as her eyes widened with Shikamaru’s chuckle.

“ _What_?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Who’s the guy?”

Sakura’s mouth opened and closed a few times while she figured out what to say, trying to deal with the unprecedented reality she was living of having anything resembling a sex talk with Shikamaru.

“There’s no _guy_.”

Shikamaru scoffed before turning back to his bowl.

“And it _was_ a workout,” Sakura added after a few seconds, defending herself as best as she could. “I’m getting self-defence lessons.”

“Really?” Shikamaru asked her as soon as he swallowed, turning his head back again. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty happy about it.”

A few seconds of silence went by as Sakura took another sip of her water and Shikamaru worked on bringing the chopsticks up to his mouth again.

“At your apartment?” he asked as soon as he swallowed.

“Huh?”

Shikamaru turned his head to stare at her with a raised eyebrow, his narrow brown eyes studying her cautiously.

“You said you worked out at your place.”

He ate another mouthful of his ramen as Sakura fought to come up with an answer that sounded believable.

“Yeah,” was what she settled for, figuring it was best to stick with her lie. “I did.”

“Your place isn't good for self-defence training.”

“I moved the living room furniture to the corners.” Sakura shrugged.

The sharp eyebrow raised in his forehead let her know Shika wasn’t in the least convinced. Sakura also knew Shikamaru had the potential to figure everything out in a matter of seconds, so she needed to kill this conversation as quickly as possible.

“Who’s teaching you?” he asked.

“How’s Temari?” Sakura asked again, applying a warning edge to her voice as she narrowed her eyes at him.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and turned back to his now almost empty bowl, dropping the subject immediately. Sakura let out a silent sigh of relief and bent down to hoist her messenger pack onto her lap. Grabbing her wallet, Sakura started doing the mental math of how much she should leave as a tip.

As Shikamaru dropped his chopsticks after finishing his bowl, he grabbed his phone from the table and checked the time.

“What do you have now?” Sakura asked.

“I’m going home. My lecture got cancelled.”

“Oh, no. That sucks.”

Shika chuckled and shook his head, turning it back to stare at her.

“I swear you’re the only person on the planet who’d react like that to cancelled classes.”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him and they both scooted to their respective ends of the bench, Sakura once again groaning at the ache inflicted by the action. Even hoisting the strap of her messenger bag over her shoulder hurt, for fuck’s sake. In fifteen hours she’d be having another self-defence training with Kakashi. How the fuck was she supposed to function when every single ounce of her body ached like hell?

She would have to suck it up, though. There was just no way she’d let Kakashi know how physically unprepared she was for the training he’d prepared for her.

.

.

.

Just like she had on Tuesday, Sakura screamed as the ice-cold water of the girl’s dressing room hit her skin on Friday morning. She didn’t care at all about why that stupid gym only had cold waters in the showers, it was inhuman and cruel and Sakura would die on that hill.

‘ _You should always shower with cold water after working out, it helps with the soreness_ ,' had been Kakashi's stupid reasoning when Sakura asked him three days before if there was anything wrong with the showers.

 _Fuck_ him and _fuck_ that gym for inflicting this bullshit on her.

Gritting her teeth with force, Sakura proceeded to shower as quickly as she could, standing three steps away from the water and leaning back to rinse her hair after lathing it with shampoo. She did not care about any twisted reasoning they might have for this shit. At the moment, there was nothing more Sakura wanted than a hot shower as what felt like a thousand knives stabbing her entire body made Sakura loudly curse as she rinsed the soap off her body.

Fuck the soreness. Anything was better than that freezing torture, honestly.

She was done with her shower at record time, embracing the warmth her fluffy pink towel provided her as she stepped out of the shower stall. Crossing the completely empty dressing room with her toiletries on her arms and wearing the same flip-flops she’d been using while showering, Sakura quickly zipped open her gym bag and picked out her hairbrush and blow dryer. She quickly checked her cell phone for the time and let out a breath of relief as she realised it was only 8:17.

As Sakura plugged the blow dryer on the wall and turned it on, she let out a little laugh at the blatant U-turn her life had taken. Never would she have expected a few weeks before that she’d spend hours working out with Professor Hatake three times a week, two of those being right before the lecture he taught her. It was beyond weird thinking Kakashi was standing on the other side of the mirror she was facing, possibly with just a towel wrapped low around his hips, and…

Nope.

She cut herself out with by aiming the hot gush of air to her face for a second, which was more than enough to put an end to that specific line of thought. It was only when she focused back on her hair that she realised her tactic was much like a dog owner would spray their puppy’s face with water to stop them from being naughty, which made her stupidly giggle.

After their walk on Sunday evening, Sakura had been extremely fucking nervous about seeing Kakashi again. It had been obvious they’d shared a moment when they got to her house and she had no idea how their dynamic would change after it. Surprisingly, though, it actually hadn’t. Kakashi had been perfectly normal when he picked her up on Tuesday morning and it had been way easier than she’d expected to fall straight into conversation with him.

Of course, that had confused Sakura more than anything else. Had she imagined the entire thing? Or was this Kakashi’s way of telling her he really wasn’t interested? Regardless of what it meant, Sakura was glad things were normal between them.

Surprisingly enough, she actually really enjoyed having Kakashi in her life.

Sakura was really relieved at how she’d finally been able to accept her feelings for him, though. She still had no idea what he felt in return but, in the end, it really didn’t matter. Kakashi was still her professor and thesis supervisor, it would be extremely stupid to let anything happen between them. At least she was now kind of in peace with herself, weirdly enough.

Sakura picked up her hairbrush from the counter and started brushing her hair to disentangle it before blasting it with hot air again, accepting the fact that there was no stopping her mind from going where it wanted to go.

Sakura couldn’t help but look forward to Sunday when they would finally cover new ground in her self-defence training. On their last two training sessions, Kakashi had taken their shorter weekday-morning-time into consideration and thought it best to stick to practising what they’d already covered on the previous Sunday and also work on enhancing her cardio. It had been a great call from him because like it or not, the extensive amount of time they were spending with each other made it easier for Sakura to feel completely comfortable with what was to come next on their training. She had known and agreed in advance to all of the things he’d teach her but she couldn’t deny she had always been slightly nervous about it all. Now, Sakura was significantly more at ease with him—and him with her, she hoped—and she felt a lot more comfortable with their near future.

With her hair finally dry, Sakura picked up her phone and saw it was 8:32. Speeding things up, she reopened her bag and took out her deodorant and the clothes she’d picked for the day. After she was done changing, it took her a few seconds to put her flip flops inside a plastic bag and tie it up before stuffing it with the rest of her stuff into the gym bag. She quickly grabbed her watch from one of the small compartments of her messenger bag and strapped it on her wrist before quickly hoisting the straps of both bags onto her shoulder. 

As she barged out of the girl’s dressing room—after turning off the light, of course—Sakura found Kakashi leaning against the wall between the two doors, his eyes down on his cellphone while his free hand rested inside his trousers’ pocket. Sakura ridiculously tried not to react to the scent of a just-showered Kakashi, the fresh smell of his delicious minty shampoo making her purse her lips to stop herself from inhaling too obviously. It was honestly mindblowing to her how easy it was for his scent to earn a pathetic reaction from her in every fucking situation.

Also, how frustrating was it that Sakura couldn’t even decide which version of Kakashi attracted her the most? When she’d first met him, she was sure there was absolutely no way he could look any hotter than he did when wearing those sinfully well-fitted button-down shirts and trousers and even the jeans he’d worn at the winter festival had fitted him way better than they had any business doing. Then, Sakura seen him in workout clothes and nearly hit an early grave, sure that those track pants and skin-tight long-sleeved shirts would be the death of her. 

And _then_ she saw Kakashi wearing sweats in the comfort of his own home and just the thought of those drawstrings hanging loose was enough to make her sweat.

No complaints, though, of course.

“Better than Tuesday,” Kakashi said, finally turning his head to the side to stare at her and mercifully shaking her off of her worrisome thoughts.

“Don’t pretend you care about being late.”

Kakashi chuckled and stepped away from the wall, stuffing his phone into his pocket and grabbing the keys to lock the door behind Sakura. They fell into a comfortable silence as they climbed up the stairs and Kakashi did his usual routine of locking up the place. Taking the opportunity to check the time, Sakura saw they had twenty-one minutes until their lecture started. It took them about twenty minutes to walk to campus from there with no interruptions, so even with their quick stop at the bakery, they would still get to class earlier than Kakashi normally would.

Surprisingly enough, though, Sakura wasn’t in the least stressed about Kakashi’s leisurely steps as they walked away from the gym. She actually found herself smiling at the realisation that they’d be spending the entire day ahead with each other with their fourth thesis supervision session after lunch, and she didn’t want to rush their time together at all.

With only one week of Winter left, Sakura could almost smell Spring in the air when she closed her eyes while walking down the sidewalks of Konoha. She was more than ready for the seasonal change, eager to be able to wear her favourite spring dresses and lay around in the sun as she very much deserved.

“What’s got you so happy?”

It took Kakashi's words to make Sakura realise she'd been softly smiling at nothing. Still, she didn't stop as she opened her eyes and looked over at him. In fact, the curves on her lips grew wider as her eyes met his curious charcoal ones, curiously looking down at her with both hands stuffed deep into his pockets and the strap of his messenger bag hanging across his broad chest.

“Spring is almost here,” she explained.

Kakashi hummed, looking around at the few trees scattered down the street as if he’d just realised the newly grown leaves in them.

“So it is.” 

“It’s my favourite season.”

Kakashi turned his head back and silently studied her for a few seconds, making Sakura shoot him a sweet smile as she waited for his answer.

“It suits you.”

“Oh. Thank you,” she said, legitimately flattered as she brushed away a strand of her hair from her face.

“Your parents really nailed your name, didn’t they?”

Sakura burst in laughter at his comment, shaking her head slowly as she stepped to the side to open space for a toddler to run between them, his desperate father short behind.

“They really did,” she continued as they fell back into the same rhythm side-by-side. “They actually took pictures of me with fully-bloomed sakura trees every year since I was born.”

“Really?” The smile on Kakashi’s lips was enough to make Sakura’s chest be enveloped by that new warmness she’d been feeling more and more since she’d been starting to get to know him. 

“Yeah, it’s really sweet." She nodded, well aware the soft smile was back on her lips. "I keep up with the tradition, of course.”

“Can I see them?”

His sudden question made Sakura’s eyes widen in surprise before she smiled up at him.

“Of course. They’re all in an album at my place, I’ll bring it one day.”

Kakashi’s opened his mouth to answer but his phone started ringing in his trousers’ pocket just as they reached the door of the bakery they were going to buy their post-workout breakfast in. Sakura shot him a questioning look as she grabbed the door handle and he motioned for her to go ahead while he brought the phone up to his ear.

As Sakura reached the counter, she looked back and saw Kakashi had turned around as he talked to whoever it was on the other end of the phone. She checked her watch and saw they really didn’t have time to wait around any longer, so she took the freedom to order for him what he'd eaten on Tuesday when they’d stopped there for the first time.

By the time Kakashi opened the door and walked in, Sakura had just been handed her croissant and his muffin from the girl behind the counter. Thanking her, Sakura turned around and offered Kakashi his breakfast.

“Maa, free breakfast.” He grinned as he took the muffin from her hand.

“You're welcome.” Sakura playfully raised an eyebrow at him while opening the paper packaging of her croissant.

Kakashi hummed as he took his first bite and it didn't take too long until Sakura realised he actually wouldn't thank her. Shaking her head while an incredulous smile took form on her lips, Sakura nodded towards the door.

“I know you’re ok with having no manners and always being late but if we take any longer it’s just absurd.”

"No manners?" He shot her a look full of feigned insult, both silver eyebrows raised slightly in his forehead. "As far as I know, I'm not the one who spilt coffee all over one of _your_ favourite shirts."

Sakura was just about to retort when Kakashi broke into a grin and threw the bakery door open and stepped outside before her. They resumed their walk again, both of them blindly enjoying their delicious food as they got closer and closer to campus. The mention of the coffee accident made Sakura smile absentmindedly. It had been two months since it happened and it was really funny how that moment, which she’d then thought to be the most tragic event of her entire life, had actually been the start of a really surprising turn of events.

Kakashi turned out to be such a great man and she wondered if she would have ever gotten to know that if she hadn’t run into him that first day.

“You’re smiling a lot today.”

Sakura turned her head to look up at him, realising at that moment that she was indeed still smiling.

“I’m just thinking.” She shrugged.

“About what?”

Sakura sighed as her smile reflexively widened. She really didn’t want to tell Kakashi about what she’d be thinking of but she couldn’t help but be curious about what his thoughts were on the subject.

“Do you think we’d have gotten to where we are today if I hadn’t run into you on the first day?”

A few seconds went by in which all Kakashi did was stare at Sakura, his charcoal eyes completely impossible for her to read.

“I mean,” she started again as he didn’t immediately answer. “You still would’ve been my thesis supervisor but still... I think you having been such a huge asshole to me when I tried to apologise for the coffee was the game-changer.”

Kakashi chuckled, turning his head to look at the sidewalk ahead of them.

“Or when you didn’t tip me that first time you went to the Rusty Kunai,” Sakura added before he could say anything. “Oh, that was _low_. Even for you.”

Kakashi fully burst in laughter at her words and Sakura couldn’t help but laugh along.

“I don’t think I’d tease you as much as I did at first if it weren’t for how you behaved when we first met,” he said as soon as his laughter died down.

“The way _I_ behaved?” Sakura’s eyebrows went up in her forehead and her mouth dropped open in exasperation.

“Of course.” Kakashi looked down at her with a smile. “You were completely ridiculous, speaking alone to your turned-off phone afraid that I would confront you about my shirt. And that’s just the beginning.”

Sakura opened her mouth to retort that she was never _afraid_ —maybe a little anxious—but Kakashi cut her to the chase.

“You did piss me off at first.” The sly grin playing on his lips made Sakura’s heart skip a beat. “I thought you were really immature and childish, running around and stuff. And then you snapped at me that day when you tried to apologise.”

“Well, you really were an asshole.”

“I always am with students.” Kakashi shrugged. “But that day I realised I might have been wrong about you, and I was. And then it just became way too fun to tease you.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” Sakura let out an incredulous laugh, shaking her head incredulously at his words.

“What?” Kakashi laughed, looking down at her. “That day you left our supervision session and turned off the lights? Honestly mindblowing, changed my life.”

Sakura burst in laughter at the memory but before she could say anything the sound of a ringtone interrupted their conversation. Kakashi pulled out the phone ringing in his pockets and muttered a ‘for fuck’s sake’ under his breath.

“Everything ok?” she asked as he declined the call and stuffed the phone back in his pocket.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just Genma.”

“Oh!” Sakura exclaimed. “Tell him I say hi.”

Kakashi hummed as he took a bite of his muffin and loudly swore as his phone rang again. Sakura watched in amusement as he turned the device off entirely before throwing it back in his pocket again.

“You can pick up, it’s no problem,” she said.

“I’m not picking up, he’s an idiot.”

Sakura giggled at Kakashi’s exasperation. She had no idea what was going on and why Kakashi was acting like that towards his friend, but she’d surely love to know.

“Genma mentioned he’s leaving next week,” Sakura started. “Monday, right?”

Kakashi looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, his face completely impossible for her to read.

“He got another week off,” he answered as he looked back at the sidewalk. “The sneaky bastard.”

“But that’s great!” Sakura exclaimed. “Why aren’t you happy?”

“I _would_ be if his reason for staying longer wasn’t complete bullshit.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow at his words.

“What’s the reason?”

Kakashi took another bite of his muffin, not answering her question. Sakura waited until he swallowed to see if he would speak but, for her complete exasperation, he just took another bite.

“Come on, what’s the reason?”

“It’s nothing,” he said as soon as he swallowed, shrugging.

It was Sakura’s turn to hum in response, making it very clear that she wasn’t in the least convinced by his answer.

Honestly, she had been completely fascinated with what she’d seen of the dynamic between Kakashi and Genma. Their constant banter and bickering had made her laugh consistently the entire day they’d spent together in Kakashi’s studio the previous Sunday. That day had surprisingly turned out to be one of the best, most unexpected days in her life and she’d loved every second of it.

Still, Sakura decided to drop the subject. She still hadn’t been privy to much of Kakashi’s life and past but there was one thing she'd learned entirely on her own, and it was when to stop asking him questions.

“How’s your croissant?”

She had just started chewing a new bite when he asked her, resulting in a few stifled giggles from Sakura as Kakashi looked down at her with an amused smile on his lips. It was quite clear he was purposefully trying to embarrass her and he was obviously succeeding. Sakura did her very best to swallow as fast as she could but each second that passed by with Kakashi watching her with that smirk on his lips felt like an eternity to her.

“It’s good,” she finally managed to say as she swallowed, her face flushed from the stress of the situation.

“Thought you might choke for a second there.”

“Sorry if I don’t like being watched while I eat.” Sakura rolled her eyes at him.

Kakashi hummed in response, taking another bite of his muffin.

“How’s your muffin?” Sakura asked with a grin on her face, eager to see him embarrassing himself as well.

To her exasperation, though, Kakashi wasn’t even slightly bothered by her staring at him while he chewed. If anything, he did it even more slowly than he usually did.

“It’s really good. Especially since it was free,” he said as soon as he swallowed, looking down at her with a playful glint in his charcoal eyes.

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh at his words, shaking her head in disbelief. She definitely shouldn’t enjoy being teased by him this much.

The closer they got to campus, though, the less casual they were with each other. It seemed like most of their main interactions for the last weeks had been outside of university grounds and it felt weird to be crossing the street to Konoha University and continue behaving as they were. Even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with anything they were doing, it wasn’t like everything was normal, either. Sakura was well aware of the feelings she had for him and even if they were non-reciprocated, they were still there.

Being at KU turned out to become an extremely cruel wake-up call, a rude reminder of the circumstances of their relationships and the ethics behind it.

“I need to stop by my office to pick up the material for today,” Kakashi said as they stopped in an intersection at the campus, pointing with his thumb to the direction of the Administrative building. 

“Ok, I’ll see you in class.” Sakura nodded at him, squishing the now empty paper bag in her hands into a ball.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he smirked and walked away before she could throw the paper bag at him.

Sakura shook her head with a smile playing on her lips before turning around in the direction of the Sciences building and throwing the bag on the nearest bin.

As if she could ever fall asleep with that man standing in front of the class.

.

.

.

“Genma, if you don’t leave this office right now, I swear I will fucking kill you.”

All Genma did in response was lean back further on the chair across Kakashi’s desk, raising his feet up and crossing his ankles on the table.

“I want to see Sakura.”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “You don’t get to see Sakura. Get out.”

Genma fished his phone out of his jeans’ pockets and checked the time.

“Only a few more minutes until she’s here, I think I’ll wait.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose as he went over the possible consequences of murdering his best friend on university grounds. It was either that or Genma could potentially open his big stupid mouth to Sakura and who knows what disaster could entail from _that_.

Honestly, Kakashi would rather just go to prison.

“Hey, lose the glare.” Genma crunched one of the napkins that came with their lunch into a little ball and threw it in Kakashi’s direction. “I’m helping you out, fuckface.”

“You’re fucking stupid.” Kakashi easily picked the paper ball in his hand and threw it back at Genma. “It doesn’t make any sense, what the fuck are you even _planning_?”

“At the moment or long term?” 

“Long term, Genma.” Kakashi painfully groaned. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

“I’m staying in Konoha until I have a guarantee that you won’t ‘Kakashi’ this entire situation.” He used his fingers to mimic quotation marks as he said the name.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at his friend, his patience drawing shorter with each passing second.

“I can see you need more explanations,” Genma smirked, grabbing a toothpick and placing it between his teeth. “You see, Bakashi, I simply don’t want you to make up stupid excuses to let Sakura get away.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Kakashi passed a hand over his face, willing himself to not lose his shit.

“Are you seriously gonna pretend you’re not doing that?”

“Creating excuses?” Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows at Genma. “No, of course not.”

“Oh, yeah? So there’s no reason you’re not shooting your shot with her right now?”

“She’s my student.”

Genma placed both hands behind his head, that insufferable smirk back on his stupid face.

“Aha!”

“That’s not an excuse, it’s a fact.”

“Until June.” Genma shrugged.

Kakashi’s eyes were still narrowed at his friend as he refused to answer.

“What I fear, Hatake, is that you’ll keep telling yourself that now is not the right time and then as soon as she graduates and you don’t constantly see her anymore, you’ll convince yourself you’re better off alone and that it probably wouldn’t have led to anything anyway.”

The silence between them stretched for a few seconds while Kakashi considered Genma’s words. Of course, his friend was right. That’s exactly what he would do. It was just a lot easier to ignore it all than face the terrifying prospect of being vulnerable to something he’d never thought he would be.

“What are you gonna tell the others?” Kakashi asked, completely ignoring his friend’s accurate accusation and shifting the conversation away from it.

“About what?”

“Why you’re staying another week.”

“I’ll tell them I’m helping you out.” Genma shrugged.

“Genma, for fuck’s sake! What’s _wrong_ with you?”

A chuckle escaped Genma’s mouth and that was enough of an answer to lead Kakashi into complete desperation.

“You’ll have to leave at some point,” Kakashi tried. “Can’t stay here until June.”

“We both know I’ve served more than enough years, I can get a discharge.”

“You fucking wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t what?"

“Genma.” Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose once again, taking a long, deep breath before going on. “You fucking won’t give up your career just to make sure I try it out with Sakura.”

“Try me.” Genma raised an eyebrow in his forehead. “That’s how dedicated I am to this.”

Kakashi felt his own mouth fall open as he stared in shock at the complete imbecile he had for a best friend. It was at that moment that Kakashi realised this situation must be the payout for all the shit he had done in his life. There was no other explanation.

“Ok, what do I have to do?” he asked, completely terrified of what Genma had in store for the next week.

“What do you mean?”

“You said you’re not leaving until you get a guarantee I won’t ‘Kakashi’ this up. What’s the guarantee, what do I need to do?”

“Oh,” Genma chuckled. “Sorry, Kakashi, you can’t.”

Kakashi furrowed his brows at the smirking brown-haired idiot sitting on the other side of his desk.

“What?”

“You’ll obviously do whatever you need to do to get rid of me and then just fall back into your old shit. I can’t trust you to take charge of this.”

“Who…”

It was then that it hit Kakashi. He immediately dropped his head into his hands, painfully groaning at what Genma was implying.

“Genma, if you say a single word to Sakura I swear I…”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Genma waved his hand dismissively. “I’m getting seven days off for this shit, non-paid. I’m not wasting them.”

“For fuck’s sake, Genma, don’t you fucking…”

Kakashi stopped speaking as soon as a knock came from the other side of his office’s door. He glared at Genma as that ridiculously annoying smirk immediately spread on his face.

“You stay fucking quiet, you’re sleeping under _my_ roof and eating _my_ food,” Kakashi whispered at Genma while sticking a finger in his direction. “I’ll let Pakkun eat you alive, don’t you fucking try me.”

All Genma did in response was stand up and cross Kakashi’s office with sure steps. He threw the door open and grinned, faking surprise at seeing Sakura on the other side and making Kakashi shake his head in incredulity.

“Hey, Pink! Good to see you again.”

“Genma!”

Pure panic washed over Kakashi as Genma stepped back and let Sakura come in. Her jade eyes immediately moved in the direction of Kakashi’s desk and a huge, dazzling smile took form in her lips as soon as they settled on him.

He truly was completely, utterly fucked.

“Genma, feel free to leave,” Kakashi said as he leaned back in his chair. “And take the trash with you.”

“You’re so fucking rude.” Genma shook his head and then lightly elbowed Sakura’s arm. “You don’t mind me staying for a bit, do you?”

Sakura raised her eyebrows in surprise at being asked that question but shrugged.

“Yeah, sure. Kakashi told me you’re staying one more week in Konoha, that’s so nice!”

“Oh, he told you?” Genma looked over at Kakashi with a look that made him want to throw his stapler straight at Genma’s stupid head. “Yeah, I have some unfinished business here.”

“No, you don’t,” Kakashi pointed out before Sakura could say anything.

It was hard for Kakashi to keep a casual expression on his face as Sakura clearly tried to make sense of what was going on inside that office.

“Something you need to know, Sakura, is that Kakashi lives in denial.” Genma nodded at her. “ _Constant_ denial. It gets really annoying but you’ll learn how to deal with it.”

“Uh…” Sakura’s mouth hung slightly open in clear confusion and she turned her head to stare at Kakashi again.

“Ok, that’s it,” Kakashi snarled. “ _Out_ , Shiranui.”

Genma raised both hands in mock surrender and turned to Sakura.

“We’ll be going to the Rusty Kunai a lot this week, ok? I need to eat that burger as much as I can before leaving.”

Sakura giggled at him as Genma crossed the office and picked up all of the trash from the lunch he and Kakashi had just eaten. 

“I don’t blame you, it’s a really good burger,” she said.

A wave of relief washed over Kakashi as Genma proceeded to say his goodbyes—insufferably annoying as usual—and closed the door behind him as he left Kakashi’s office. That wave of relief quickly gave way to his body going momentarily still as soon as Sakura turned in his direction again, though, a sweet smile playing on her lips as she tucked a strand of her pink hair behind her ear.

“How was your lunch?” she asked, walking in the direction of the seat Genma had been sitting in a few minutes before.

“Decent,” Kakashi chuckled. “How about yours?”

“It was great.”

Kakashi watched her as she sat down on the chair and pulled her messenger bag so it would rest on her lap.

“Great?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “I didn’t know there was anything ‘great’ around campus.”

“Seriously? Have you been to Ichiraku’s?”

Kakashi furrowed his brows as he tried to mentally locate the place.

“Oh, it’s that ramen place, right?”

Sakura nodded at him, a corner of her lips slightly raised. The sight made Kakashi significantly more out of breath than it should have.

“No, never been there.” He was quick to look away from her lips, focusing again on her jade eyes. It didn’t make much of a difference in his sudden respiratory issues, after all.

“No way!” She raised her eyebrows at him. “It’s amazing. My friends and I have lunch there pretty much every week day since we started uni.”

“ _What_?” Kakashi smiled, not being able to believe that Sakura ate ramen pretty much every single day. “That’s completely insane.”

Sakura laughed, opening her messenger bag to take out the pink folder she kept her thesis stuff in.

“It’s great, you should definitely check it out someday. And it’s pretty cheap, so that’s a plus.”

As Sakura started to sort out the stuff she’d brought regarding the research she’d been conducting for her thesis, Kakashi readied his mind into focusing on the meeting at hand. He always loved their supervision sessions, since discussing academic matters with Sakura had turned out to be extremely enjoyable to him. She was just so fucking smart and dedicated, it was amazing to see how her brilliant brain worked and how she always naturally took charge of all of their meetings, the passion she felt for the subject making it fascinating for Kakashi to just sit back and see where she’d take them.

He was more than happy to let Sakura take the lead inside his office, her impressive intellect always stunning the hell out of him.

If he was being honest with himself, though, Kakashi simply loved holding conversations with Sakura at every possible moment. It was just so fucking _easy_ to talk to her, it honestly amazed him. Never before had he so quickly hit that stage in which he felt truly comfortable talking to someone else.

Sakura had really hit him differently, in every possible aspect of it. Damn Tenzou for putting that shit in his head.

For the next two hours, Kakashi and Sakura went over all of the findings she’d made on her research so far. Sakura was making amazing progress and they both agreed it was now time for her to take the next step in her groundwork. Kakashi spent the last few minutes of their meeting arranging for her a few hours at the lab so she could analyse oxidative and UV damage to exposed blood samples by herself. 

As he booked all of the time slots she picked, though, he couldn’t help but worry about her schedule and how busy it must be at that moment. Sakura was clearly extremely busy with all of her university duties, thesis research, shifts at the bar plus their self-defence training.

“Hey, do you want to put our training on hold for now?”

He watched as Sakura looked up from her personal agenda, in which she’d been filling up the time slots for when the lab was reserved for her. Her pink eyebrows furrowed slightly as she looked at him with a questioning look on her face.

“Why would I want that?”

“I mean, you’ve obviously got a lot on your plate. Are you getting enough sleep?”

Sakura’s lips broke in a soft smile at his question, making Kakashi’s heart clench in his chest.

“Yeah, Kakashi, I am.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle, really. I’m fine.” Her smile suddenly turned into a frown. “But if you want to stop, I get it.”

“No, of course, I don’t.” He shook his head. “On the contrary, actually. I’m just worried.”

Kakashi cursed himself mentally as soon as he realised what he’d said. All he could do was wish she hadn’t noticed anything weird in his words. Of course, though, as soon as her pink eyebrow raised slightly in her forehead he knew she’d picked up on what had been between the lines of his words. Her jade eyes analysed him for a few seconds, making Kakashi’s heart slow down a few beats as he anxiously waited to see what she would say.

“I really like them too, Kakashi.”

All he did was nod in response, not sure he could trust himself to speak at the moment. Sakura smiled again as she lowered her head back down to continue filling up her agenda, allowing Kakashi to release the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

As she kept herself busy with her schedule, Kakashi couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to the conversation they’d had on their walk to campus that morning. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been taken by surprise by Sakura’s question about what their relationship would be like if she hadn’t spilt coffee on him. He had never actually given a single thought to it but the matter hadn’t left his head for a single second for the past few hours.

Would he still have feelings for her now if she hadn’t ruined his shirt on the first day?

A side of him argued that yes, since he obviously didn’t have any emotional feelings for her at the first moment. Quite on the contrary, it had been the increasing amount of time they spent together that made Kakashi notice her more and more, every single interaction making it more difficult for him to ignore what was brewing inside of him.

The other side of him, though, argued otherwise. 

It was undeniable that Kakashi had been instantly affected by Sakura as soon as he touched her for the very first time, the sight of her surprised jade eyes looking up at him as he stopped her from falling forever imprinted in his brain. Hell, even at New Year’s when he’d seen her work for the first time he remembered being weirdly attentive of her, which really wasn’t usual of him. 

Regardless of whether he’d always been drawn to her physically or not, though, Kakashi doubted he would have made a single effort to get to know her if she hadn’t stood up to him on that day after class. Maybe he never would have gotten to see who she really was, maybe that amazing, fiery personality would be hidden from him for the entire semester.

 _Thank fuck she ruined my shirt_ , was all Kakashi could think as she put the lid back on her pen and closed her agenda. The dazzling smile Sakura shot him as she looked up again completely disoriented him.

_Thank fuck she’s in my life._

“Are you going to the Rusty Kunai tonight?” her question mercifully grounded him back to reality, forcing him to get his shit back together and focus on at least trying to act normal.

 _God, if Genma knew what I was thinking…_ Kakashi didn’t even want to finish that thought, willing himself to never tell his best friend about any of that.

“It’s very likely that yes,” Kakashi answered, nodding at her. “Genma will probably want to go every night to eat the burger.”

Sakura lightly laughed at that.

“Nice! I want to get a few hours of sleep before my shift. If not I’ll be up for over 24 hours by the time I get home tonight.”

“You should definitely sleep.” Kakashi nodded. “Wouldn’t want you passing out on the counter.”

“Definitely not a good image.” Sakura giggled as she proceeded to put all of her belongings back into her messenger bag.

Kakashi leaned his chair back as she flipped the cover of her bag and hoisted the strap on her shoulder, still sitting down.

“I hope I’ll see you later, then.”

Kakashi swallowed as her words reached his ears, not sure of what he should say in return. He knew what he wanted to say but the day he actually said it would be the day hell froze over.

“I hope so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof!!!!!
> 
> hey hey guys!
> 
> ok, I'd like to start off by first apologising for how long it took me to write this chapter. this week has been really difficult for me personally and I tried to write as fast I as possibly could :(
> 
> next, well, this chapter is a pretty transitory one. I have quite some stuff planned next and wanted to set off that sense of a newly established routine to show how they're getting more and more comfortable with each other... also, I needed to set the basis for the next step to be taken—which leads me to...
> 
> Genma.
> 
> yup, it's almost time guys. I know, I know, I'm incredibly devastated to let him go. I've known since the start that I wanted Genma to be an important character in my story since I love him so so so much but I really didn't expect to grow so fucking attached to him here. seriously, it's hurting me. buuut yes, we've known his days here were counted ever since he first showed up in chapter 4, and he does need to get the fuck out of Kakashi's studio for what's to come next in this story—hopefully getting some steady and definite progress between Kakashi and Sakura will make it easier for all of us to mourn Genma's absence
> 
> god I'm gonna miss him
> 
> BUT you all came here to get a great KakaSaku story and THAT'S what I'm hopefully gonna deliver to you guys! I'm really so so SO excited for what's about to come oh god oh shit AAAA
> 
> once again thank you all SO much for all the support! you guys have no idea how much knowing there are so many people keeping up with my story and actually enjoying it motivates me to keep going! you guys are fucking amazing!
> 
> hope you guys have an amazing week! x
> 
> \- A


	16. miscommunication

“Hey, you can’t smoke in here.”

The sound of Sakura’s voice over the noise of Friday night at the Rusty Kunai never failed to make Kakashi automatically turn his head in her direction. He had spent the entire night trying to avoid staring at her as much as he wanted to and settled for keeping her in his peripheral vision, but the reaction had become almost a gut reflex for him every time her voice reached his ears.

A guy with an unlit cigarette in his lips raised both hands in apology at Sakura before taking the tab off his mouth and putting it back in its case, stuffing the unused lighter back into his jeans’ back pocket. Kakashi’s eyes moved back to Sakura, who had already moved on from the situation and was busy taking some girl’s order.

“You know she’s not gonna disappear if you stop looking, right?”

Kakashi focused again on his best friend, who was sitting across from him with that insufferable smirk splattered on his lips as he leaned back on his chair.

“Mind your business,” Kakashi snarled.

“I am.” 

Genma’s smirk widened at Kakashi’s annoyance but a waitress approached their table before he could answer. He watched in silence as she carefully placed the second burger Genma had ordered for the night in front of him, shooting a flirtatious smile at the brown-haired bachelor as she straightened back up. 

“Hope you enjoy it,” she said, twisting one finger with the end of her ponytail.

“You know I will, Cho,” Genma answered just as flirtatiously.

It was more than obvious Genma had taken more seconds than necessary to read the name written on the tag pinned to the front of her uniform, making Kakashi roll his eyes. Genma shot her a wink as she turned around and walked away, giving him one last look over her shoulder a few steps away. 

Kakashi shook his head as his friend chuckled and picked up his burger with an excited grin on his face, wasting no time before taking a bite.

“You’ll be hating that thing by the time you leave.”

“Impossible.” Genma shook his head, his mouth full.

It was Kakashi’s turn to chuckle as he picked up his old-fashioned glass with only a small fraction left of the whiskey it originally contained. The other half sat warmly in Kakashi’s gut, successfully serving its purpose of making this evening seem like a little less of a disaster for him.

Checking his watch after he took another sip of his drink, Kakashi’s eyebrows raised a fraction in his forehead as he saw it was already 2:46 am.

“Stop looking at the time, we’re not leaving,” Genma said as he raised his pint up to his lips, the burger still securely held in his other hand.

“I’ll leave if I want to.”

Genma took his time to take a generous sip of his drink and put the glass back on the table before he shook his head at Kakashi.

“No, you won’t.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“ _She_ can.”

Kakashi raised one sharp eyebrow at Genma’s words, fighting against the urge to knock the stupid burger out of his friend’s hand and into the floor. Leaving had never been his intention but now he might out of pure stubbornness. 

Of course, he wouldn’t, though. There was no way in hell Kakashi would let Genma alone at the Rusty Kunai with Sakura when he had absolutely no idea what the plans brewing in his friend’s twisted mind consisted of. All Kakashi did know was Genma wouldn’t dare do anything stupid with him there.

So, he stayed.

For the next two hours, Kakashi and Genma sat across from each other on the wooden table, getting a few drinks into their system and some good-hearted laughter off of it as they reminisced a few of their countless stupid stories from the twenty years they’ve known one another. They had been in the middle of laughing their asses off at the day Kakashi, Genma, and Gai went out to the Rusty Kunai with only twenty bucks divided into them and woke up the next afternoon with over nine-hundred bucks and 2 lighters in their pockets when Sakura stopped by their table with both hands on her waist.

“Last call, guys.” She smiled down at them, her jade eyes sparkling with curiosity at what they were laughing about. “Any more drinks?”

It took Kakashi a few seconds before he was able to turn his eyes away from her and shoot Genma a questioning look. His friend had been the only one who’d still been drinking for the past few hours since Kakashi had stopped after his second whiskey. It wouldn’t be long until the time to walk Sakura home came and he couldn’t risk being even slightly tipsy for it.

“I’d kill for another burger,” Genma said with a longing tone, turning his head to stare at the door they all knew led to the kitchen.

“That’s impossible.” Kakashi shook his head. “You ate two.”

“Are you shaming me?” Genma looked back at Kakashi with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, I am. You’re nearly forty, you can’t eat as if you were twenty-one.”

“ _Forty_?” Genma gasped, outraged. “I’m thirty-seven!”

“Closer to forty than to twenty, asshat.” Kakashi leaned back on his chair, one eyebrow raised on his forehead.

“Ah, as if you weren’t closer to forty than twenty.”

Kakashi shrugged in response, showing how little he cared about something as trivial as his age. Genma shook his head at him, a look of pure betrayal stamped on his face.

“That’s low.” Genma placed a hand on his chest, making Kakashi roll his eyes. “Do you see that, Sakura? You’d give me a burger if you could, wouldn’t you?”

Kakashi glanced up at Sakura and grinned at the sight of her pursed lips as she clearly tried to hold back the laughter he knew she was dying to let out.

“Well, technically I can’t,” she said as she stuffed both hands into the back pockets of her skinny jeans. “But sure, I’d call a waitress for you if the kitchen was still working.”

“You want to be a doctor and you condone this type of behaviour?” Kakashi indicated Genma with his hand as he raised an eyebrow at Sakura.

“I wouldn’t say I’m condoning it, I’m simply making sure he spends a lot of money here so I can pay my bills.” Sakura shrugged. “You can hit me up when your arteries can’t take it anymore, Genma, I’ll hook you up with a good doctor in the area. Least I can do.”

Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle at Sakura’s words, his grin growing wider as she moved her eyes over at him and flashed him one of those disarming smiles only she possessed. His happiness was short lived, though. As he looked over at Genma and caught sight of the mischievous glint in his friend’s brown eyes, dread immediately replaced any easiness Kakashi had been feeling, his grin immediately dying on his lips.

“Ok, I see how it is.” Genma nodded slowly with a smirk, making Kakashi narrow his eyes at him in warning. “I’m adding 'both big bullies’ to my list.”

“What list?” Sakura turned her head slightly to the side as she curiously glanced down at Genma.

“No more drinks for me,” Kakashi jumped in before Genma could open his stupid mouth.

Kakashi knew his friend well enough to know something in the lines of ‘oh, my list of things that would make you two a good couple’ or something equally as ridiculous—or worse—was about to serve as Genma’s answer to Sakura’s question. 

“I’d take another pint.” Genma nodded with an innocent smile splattered on his face.

Sakura frowned slightly before nodding and turning around to return to the counter. If there had been any cutlery left laying on their table, Kakashi would have thrown them at Genma without a second thought.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked, leaning forward onto the table.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Genma raised his eyebrows. “You think it’s cool telling my age to people? It’s not.”

Kakashi scoffed.

“Just stop, ok?” He glared at Genma. “It’s late, I’m tired, I don’t have any patience to deal with your bullshit.”

“Ah, but not tired enough to let Sakura walk home alone, huh?”

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at his friend, his stupid, victorious smirk making Kakashi desperately want to punch him.

“Drop it,” he snarled instead.

Sakura returned with Genma’s pint before he could say anything else and Kakashi watched as Genma fished his wallet from his jeans’ pocket and grabbed a $5.

“Keep the change,” he said as he handed it to her.

“Thanks.” Sakura grinned as she folded the bill on her hands. “Can you let me know when you’re done so I can get your glass? I’m gonna get started on the cleaning up since the other bartenders left early.”

“Sure, sure.” Genma nodded after taking his first sip, a little bit of foam sticking to his upper lip. 

Genma put his wallet back into his pocket and wiped the foam off his face with the back of his hand as Sakura smiled at them one last time before turning around and walking back to the counter. 

As Kakashi intently watched her back as she walked away from his table, his brain faintly acknowledged Genma had been speaking to him. Moving his eyes away from Sakura and focusing his attention back on his friend, Kakashi took a few seconds to force his mind to focus on what the hell he’d just been asked.

It wasn’t his fault her skinny jeans were so damn tight.

All Kakashi did was hum at Genma as he tried to figure out what he should be answering.

“Ok, I’ll ask again, perv,” Genma smirked. “Why didn’t you pay for your drinks tonight?”

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at ‘perv’ but decided against addressing it. He’d rather just have Genma completely move on from the entire Sakura subject and trying to defend himself against the perv charges would not help him in achieving that particular goal.

“Sakura said I didn’t have to pay for drinks the next time I came here as a thank you for the self-defence classes.”

“Smart girl.” Genma nodded, taking another generous sip of his pint.

“What? Why?” Kakashi furrowed his brows.

“Smart way to get you drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“But that’s your own damn fault.” Genma shrugged. “It was the perfect opportunity, you’re just stupid and too scared to take advantage of it.”

Kakashi felt his own mouth drop in disbelief.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he groaned. “Why would being drunk help me in any way?”

“You’d finally grow some balls, that’s why.” Genma opened both arms in exasperation, both eyebrows rising in his forehead. “Maybe you’d actually shoot your shot for once.”

“I’m not shooting my shot _drunk_.”

“Well, you’re clearly not doing it sober.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose.

Of course, Sakura wasn’t trying to get him drunk. Kakashi was well aware her offering him free drinks was just her way of trying to make up for the help he’d been giving her for the past week.

Genma was right about how Kakashi would surely get some courage after having a few drinks, though. It was precisely for that reason Kakashi didn’t take full advantage of the free-drinks opportunity. He simply didn’t trust himself to be around her while intoxicated, since the alcohol had the vast potential of making him interpret things in ways he most likely shouldn’t.

“So, are we gonna wait for her to finish cleaning up?” Genma asked, bringing the pint to his lips one more time.

Genma’s question whisked Kakashi back to reality. With his eyebrows furrowing in his forehead, Kakashi turned his body around on his chair and realised the last clients who were still hanging out at the bar were now heading for the door to leave. The waitress that had been busy cleaning up the already empty areas started pulling the chairs upside down on the clean tables so she could properly wipe the floor.

Kakashi turned back to his friend, not sure what to do next. Surely they couldn’t remain sitting, right?

Without saying anything, Genma stood up and grabbed both his half-empty pint from the table and his coat from the back of his seat, not wasting any time before turning around and making his way to the counter. Kakashi immediately stood up and followed, nearly knocking his chair over as he hurriedly picked up his jacket. 

Now that he knew Genma was having absolutely zero trouble saying shit he shouldn’t to Sakura, Kakashi would not leave him unsupervised for even a single second.

“Whatcha doing?” Genma asked Sakura as soon as he reached the counter, placing both his beer and his coat on the smooth wooden surface.

Sakura stopped writing on the yellow notepad in her hands and turned her head around to face them.

“Counting the supplies.” She waved the notepad in her hand and pointed her pen to the wall filled with alcohol bottles. “Gotta do it every night.”

“Sounds boring,” Genma said, bringing his glass up to his lips to take another sip and shifting his attention to that very same wall.

Taking advantage of the quiet opportunity, Kakashi looked back over at Sakura just in time to catch her curiously watching him. His body went momentarily still with the sight and hadn’t he been so affected by it he honestly would’ve chuckled at the pathetic way she tried to pretend she hadn’t been staring at him.

The sight of her flushed cheeks as she purposefully eyed the notepad in her hands finally released Kakashi of the spell he’d been caught under and allowed him to grin. She truly was adorable when embarrassed.

“Uh, Sakura, are those two with you? It’s 4:30.”

Kakashi turned his head around to face the dark-haired waitress who had been cleaning up the tables section of the bar. She had now stopped next to the table he and Genma had been occupying, eyeing the two of them with suspicion.

“Yeah, they are,” Sakura answered. “It’s ok.”

The waitress shrugged and proceeded to clean the wooden table while Kakashi turned back around, leaning onto the counter and clasping both hands together. 

Even though he’d been to that bar a thousand times, he’d never seen what it looked like after closing time. It might be obvious why he hadn’t seen it before since he’d never worked there but that didn’t stop Kakashi from appreciating the realisation that not only there were things he still hadn’t seen in his life—which felt a lot longer than it actually had been—but also that there were plenty of opportunities for him to actually see them.

Over the past six years, Kakashi had slowly but surely got back on his feet and learned to live his life despite his many regrets. Still, it was always good to know he might still have things worth living for.

“The other waitress was a lot nicer,” Genma mumbled low enough so only Kakashi could hear. “Cho.”

Kakashi shook his head in disbelief. For the number of women Genma flirted with, it always amazed Kakashi how his friend always managed to remember their names. Kakashi rarely did and he was sure that made him a far bigger asshole than Genma could ever be. 

“Well, she _was_ flirting with you.” Kakashi shrugged, not bothering to mumble back.

“There’s nothing stopping this one from flirting with me too.”

“Maybe she’s just not interested.”

“ _Yeah_ , right,” Genma scoffed, raising his glass to take another sip from his beer.

Thankfully, Genma started chugging the rest of his pint and allowed Kakashi to focus his attention in far more enjoyable matters while taking advantage of the few seconds of peace and quiet while his friend couldn’t talk.

Kakashi not-so-subtly watched as Sakura absentmindedly scratched the back of her head with the pen she’d been holding, it’s tip disappearing into the pink strands held up in a high ponytail as she intently counted something on the wall. As she lowered her hand back down, Kakashi had no idea what it was she was counting so intently. Not that he cared, though, as the way Sakura gently bit her lower lip in concentration completely took the best of him.

“Hey, Sakura, I’m done.”

Kakashi could strangle Genma for ruining the moment as Sakura jumped and turned around in their direction, clearly startled as her train of thought was interrupted.

“Oh, right, thanks.”

She walked over to where they stood by the counter and picked up the glass. It took her a few seconds to move it to a tray that sat on the other end of the counter with a few empty cups resting on it.

“Mei, they’re all here,” Sakura let the dark-haired waitress know before she turned around and resumed what she’d been doing.

Mei quickly finished cleaning up the table and floor and then left the mop she’d been using by the other end of the counter. As Sakura thanked her for dropping off the mop, Mei picked up the tray and brought it to the kitchen, the wooden door closing shut behind her.

“Do you guys have, like, a creativity pass to create drinks of your own?” Genma asked Sakura as he looked down the list of drinks and cocktails served at the Rusty Kunai.

Sakura took a few seconds to finish writing on the notepad before she ripped off the page and turned around, placing it on the centre of the counter. Looking at it from where he stood, Kakashi could see there was quite an extensive amount of words listed but he wasn’t close enough to read what they were.

“Yup,” she answered, putting the cap back on the pen and placing it next to the sink on the lower level of her side of the counter. “The owner has to approve them first, though.”

“Did you create any of those?” Genma pointed to the menu.

“Uh…” She lightly scratched the tip of her nose before stuffing both hands in the back pockets of her jeans and shaking her head. “Nope.”

“Yes, you did.” Kakashi grinned at Sakura’s poor lying attempt. “Which one?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kakashi immediately ripped the laminated menu from Genma’s hand and started reading down the list.

“No, no, _stop_!” Sakura ran and tried to rip the menu from Kakashi’s hand but he easily turned around before she could.

The frustrated groan she let out made Kakashi’s smirk widen as he kept his back turned to the counter, the mental image of her trying to reach him over the wooden surface amusing the hell out of him.

“What makes you think he can guess which one it is?” Genma asked.

Kakashi didn’t even have to look to know his friend had a highly amused smirk on his face as Sakura didn’t answer. Not wasting any seconds to look back at them, though, Kakashi’s eyes scanned down the list of drinks, wishing with all of his being he would indeed be able to guess. 

A flash of pink appeared on his peripheral vision and Kakashi easily dodged Sakura as she ran in his direction, raising his arm high and keeping the menu out of her reach.

“Kakashi, give me the menu!” she begged while desperately grasping his bicep and trying to make him lower his arm.

Against her wishes, Kakashi’s arm didn’t even budge—even though her strength was a lot bigger than he’d expect from such a small body. All he did was re-angle the menu so he could continue reading it from beneath, completely ignoring her failed attempts to make him drop it. It was impossible for Kakashi not to chuckle as Sakura grew desperate and started to jump, trying to reach the menu he still held high.

Of course, she couldn’t.

“ _Kakashi_!” there was frustration dripping from every single syllable she’d spoke to say his name.

Sakura stopped jumping and walked away from him, leaving Kakashi momentarily confused. As he considered turning his head to see if she’d given up and walked back to the counter, the sound of a chair scraping against the floor immediately let him know what she’d planned.

It would have been ridiculously easy for Kakashi to dodge her attack but he knew Sakura would fall facedown on the floor if he did. Instead, he stayed rooted to his place as she climbed onto the nearest table and jumped onto his back, wrapping one arm around his neck to keep herself from falling off.

“Ok, that’s it,” Kakashi laughed as he still successfully kept the menu away from her reach, her weight barely affecting him. “You have completely lost your mind.”

“Stop reading it!”

Sakura had indeed succeeded in making it extremely difficult for him to keep reading as she tried to reach up to the menu with the arm she hadn’t wrapped around his neck. Still, she was having no success in making him lower the menu. If only she had jumped from a table on his other side she would have had much better leverage to reach the laminated plastic since her momentum would have come from the opposing side of his raised arm but Kakashi refrained from commenting on that. 

Regardless, Kakashi wasn’t sure what aspect of it had a bigger negative impact on his reading ability, whether it was the incessant laughter coming out of his lips at the ridiculousness of the situation or the way Sakura nearly ripped his shirt right off as she tried to yank his arm down with her free hand.

With one swift movement, Kakashi reached back with his free hand and grasped Sakura’s thigh, pulling it over so that she now had both legs properly hanging from each side of his back. The sudden change to her balance made Sakura reflexively lower her outstretched arm to grab the back of his shirt’s collar. Kakashi could feel the fabric of his shirt being pulled back on his shoulders as Sakura tightly grasped it but her momentary reflex gave him the spare seconds he needed to angle the menu again and quickly scan his eyes to the bottom of the page.

“Oh, _holy shit_.” He grinned as soon as he spotted it, not a shadow of doubt clouding his discovery.

There was no way the Pink Devil Royale wasn’t her drink.

“Hmpf,” Sakura huffed in defeat, her warm breath softly tickling the spot just underneath his ear in a way that made Kakashi instantly swallow as a chill ran down his spine. “Don’t you dare laugh.”

Kakashi couldn’t have laughed even if he wanted to—and he truly did. At that moment, he became hyper-aware that not only Sakura was pressed against his back, but also his hand still tightly grasped her thigh. He immediately moved his hand away, silently cursing himself to the deepest pit of hell for the major screw-up. 

Apparently, Sakura came to her senses at the same time and wasted no time before climbing off of his back.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry,” she said with both hands covering her mouth as Kakashi turned around to face her, the menu still in his hand.

“I’m the one who should apologise.” Kakashi raised his free hand to the back of his neck, so embarrassed he wasn’t even able to give her one of his eye-crinkling smiles.

“ _What_?” Sakura dropped her hands, her jade eyes widening. “I literally just assaulted you.”

Kakashi chuckled, handing her the menu and dropping his other hand to rest inside his jeans’ pocket.

“Good one, by the way.” He nodded in approval.

“Are you talking about the name or the assault?” Sakura grabbed the menu, her cheeks slightly reddened as she looked up at him.

“Both.” Kakashi grinned, now stuffing his second hand into his jeans’ pocket as well. “What’s in the drink?”

“Just gin and cranberry juice. And salt on the rim, of course.”

Kakashi nodded again and Sakura turned away to walk back to her side of the counter, still visibly embarrassed but softly smiling nonetheless. It was then that he caught sight of Genma, who had been eerily silent for the entire time.

His friend’s mouth hung open in a disbelieving smirk as he looked at Kakashi, not even bothering to hide how much the entire situation had amused the shit out of him. Kakashi knew he had just handed Genma a loaded gun filled with ammunition to completely fuck everything up and could only hope he would keep his stupid mouth shut for once.

“Do your training sessions usually go anything like _that_?” Genma asked, the smirk still very much alive on his face. “Because if so, I finally understand the dedication to meet up at 5:30 in the morning.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened as Sakura stopped walking, turning to stare at Genma.

“What?” she asked, tilting her head slightly to the side as her brows furrowed. 

Kakashi immediately started taking the few steps until he reached his friend’s side, knowing he had to put a stop to this somehow.

“Hm?” Genma faced Sakura, an innocent expression on his face. “Well, if you two are...”

Having finally reached him, Kakashi wasted no time before putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder, grabbing it with a lot more force than necessary and making Genma immediately stop talking.

“What’s that?” Kakashi asked, looking at Genma with feigned interest and innocence.

“Hm?” Genma inquired, looking at Kakashi with both eyebrows raised high. “Funny, I think I forgot.”

Kakashi hummed, not relieving any of the pressure on Genma’s shoulder.

“Weird.” He furrowed his eyebrows.

Sakura had a questioning look on her face as she resumed her walk, turning the corner to step behind the counter and placing the menu on it. Kakashi took his hand off Genma’s shoulder as soon as she walked past them and gave him another warning look.

His patience truly was running thin and he wouldn’t put up with any more nonsense coming from his friend.

“So, what’s the name?” Genma grabbed the menu and eyed it down, purposefully ignoring the nonverbal threats Kakashi was making against him.

“Don’t you dare tell him.” Sakura pointed a finger threateningly at Kakashi as she grabbed the mop from where the waitress Mei had left it on the other end of the counter.

“Come on, it can’t be _that_ bad,” Genma chuckled.

“It’s stupid.” Sakura giggled as she started mopping the floor, not looking up at them. “I used a cocktail name generator on the Internet.” 

Before any of them could answer, the door to the kitchen opened and Mei walked out of it with the tray now holding clean glasses balanced on her hand. She was wearing her coat, already buttoned over her waitress uniform, and her purse hung from her shoulder.

“Ok, here they are,” she said as she placed the tray on top of the counter. “Everything’s done in the kitchen.”

“Great.” Sakura smiled up at her. “Have a great weekend, Mei.”

She waved goodbye at all of them and walked towards the door while stuffing two earphones into her ears, soon closing the door behind her as she left.

“How come you created a drink on your own if you only drink wine?” Kakashi asked Sakura as she stopped mopping and started putting the glasses on their respective places.

“I always use my friends as test subjects,” she said and even though she was crouching on the floor with her back turned to them, Kakashi knew she had a grin splattered on her face. “They like getting free drinks and I get to know if they’re good or not, so it’s pretty much a win-win situation.”

“How many have you tried to come up with?” Genma asked.

“So, _so_ many,” Sakura chuckled as she placed the last glass on its place and stood back up, turning around to put the tray away underneath her side of the bartender counter. “This is the only one that got approved so far.”

“Do you get an extra commission for it?”

“Nah.” Sakura shook her head, her ponytail swinging with the movement. “It’s just fun for us bartenders. We have a competition going on about it but so far I’m drastically losing.”

“Is there a prize?” Kakashi asked as he leaned further onto the counter.

“The winner gets one shift covered by each of the other bartenders, to be called at whatever time they choose.” Sakura grabbed the mop again and resumed her previous activity. “The bartenders can’t say no, of course, and the money they make on that night goes to the winner. That means four paid nights out, which honestly sounds amazing.”

“Oof.” Genma exhaled. “Yeah, that sounds great. You gotta step up your game, Pink.”

“I know, I know.” Sakura nodded. “Doing everything I can.”

As Genma started telling Sakura some tips for coming up with drinks of her own, Kakashi found himself with nothing to contribute to the conversation. Genma had been their group’s personal bartender back in the day and even though he’d never professionally worked with it, he’d come up with some pretty good stuff over the years.

As their conversation went on, Kakashi groaned as the thoughts of his old student days served to remind him of his current, very real university duties. There was little over one week left before midterms started and he hadn’t even begun working on any of the exams he needed to submit by next Saturday. Dismissing those thoughts away for future Kakashi to deal with, he wasted no time before focusing back on the present situation, finding it far more enjoyable.

It didn’t take long for Sakura to finish up her closing up duties, quickly putting the cleaning supplies away and picking up her things from the staff room.

“Thanks for sticking around.” She smiled warmly at them as she slipped on her coat. “It’s usually pretty quiet here when I close up.”

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Kakashi put his jacket on. 

Sakura led the way to the exit while she fished the bar’s set of keys from her purse, Kakashi and Genma following right behind. As she held the front door open for the two of them to pass through first, Genma started whistling a tune Kakashi knew he should recognise but failed to.

“It’s five in the morning, aren’t you tired?” Sakura asked Genma amusedly as she stepped out to the sidewalk and closed the door behind her, locking it with the keys on her hand.

“Nope, never.” Genma grinned, pushing back the hood that had hung on his head after he put his hoodie on and then stretching one hand in Kakashi’s direction. “Keys.”

Kakashi was still trying to figure out what tune Genma had been whistling as he picked up his keys from the back pocket of his jeans and handed them to his friend.

“Oh, you’re not coming with us?” Sakura asked as she slipped the keys from the bar into her purse.

“Ah, no, no,” Genma smirked, stuffing the keys into the pockets of his hoodie. “Kakashi would kill me if I did.”

Kakashi could swear every single ounce of blood running through his veins froze to a stop as he processed Genma’s words in his head. Thanks to his stupid attempt to figure out what Genma had been whistling, Kakashi had lowered his guard against the potential danger for just enough time to allow Genma to completely fuck everything up.

There was nothing Kakashi could do but thank his innate ability to always keep his face looking as unbothered as possible when Sakura raised one eyebrow high in her forehead.

“What?” she asked for the third time that night, slightly rearranging the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

As Genma’s smirk grew impossibly smugger, Kakashi swore he’d never been closer to punching the shit out of his friend as he was now.

“He says stupid shit when he’s drunk.” Kakashi intervened before Genma could say anything, his tone nearly dripping ice.

“That’s very, very true.” Genma nodded in agreement. “I’m not drunk now, though.”

“Uh…” Sakura started, her eyes going to and fro between them.

Kakashi cut her to the chase before she could say anything, knowing it was better to end the conversation right then and there before it could get any worse.

“It’s pretty late, we should get going.”

Not bothering to wait for an answer, Kakashi stuffed both hands into his jeans’ pockets and turned around, walking away without glancing at Sakura. All he could do was hope she would follow him before Genma said anything else. 

Kakashi only realised both of his hands were closed in tight fists when he reached the other sidewalk, already putting a good distance between himself and the situation he was currently avoiding like the plague. His gut curled impossibly tighter with each step he took, his heart rate increasing exponentially with each passing second Sakura didn’t follow him.

There was no way in hell Kakashi would turn around. He would walk alone all the way to Sakura’s place—and farther—if it meant he could pretend none of that shit had just happened.

As the sound of Sakura’s sneakers hitting the wet pavement as she jogged closer to him reached his ear, Kakashi had to stop himself from showing any physical signs of the immense relief wave that crashed into him.

“Hey, what was that about?” she asked when she finally reached him, not jogging anymore but still walking faster than she usually would as she tried to match his longer stride.

“Hm?” Kakashi hummed, keeping his eyes straight forward on the way ahead of them as panic slightly crept up his spine.

The only reason Kakashi had been hoping so hard for Sakura to follow him and leave Genma behind was that never in his wildest dreams had he expected her to ask him for explanations, as she was clearly doing now.

This was a lot worse.

Why couldn’t she just leave it alone, as any normal, avoidant adult would?

Still, there was no amount of discomfort in the world that would stop Kakashi from slowing down his own pace so he’d match Sakura’s as they turned the next corner on the street, each step given taking them further away from the Rusty Kunai. 

“What did Genma mean?” Sakura asked, not taking Kakashi’s silence as enough reason to let the subject die.

“About what?”

Sakura huffed in annoyance at his side.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t think I do.”

“Seriously?” she let out an incredulous chuckle. “Ok, I’ll be more clear. Why did he say you’d kill him if he came along?”

It wasn’t possible Sakura didn’t understand exactly what Genma had meant. Anyone would have understood, even if they didn’t know the context of the situation. 

Kakashi just didn’t know _why_ she was doing this.

“You should ask Genma.” He shrugged, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead. “I don’t know why you think I’d know what he meant.”

Kakashi didn’t have to look down at her to know exactly what her face looked like. He could practically feel her glare piercing the side of his face as she waited in silence for him to speak more.

Of course, silence had never been an appropriate weapon to be used against Hatake Kakashi. He had never before in his entire life been bothered by it even in the slightest and the entire technique of keeping quiet so the other person would grow uncomfortable and keep talking was completely useless against him.

Sakura groaned as she understood he wouldn’t be saying anything else, clearly frustrated as she gripped the strap of her purse as it hung from her shoulder. 

“Why are you being like this?” She shook her head at him.

“Like what?”

“Impossible to deal with.”

Kakashi hummed in response, knowing there was no answer he could possibly give to that.

“Look, I’m sorry for pushing it,” Sakura said after a few moments of silence, sighing and letting her hand fall to her side. “It’s just… I need to know.”

Closing his eyes, Kakashi took a second to really, really think about what to do next. There were two options ahead of him: he could either keep quiet and just allow them to go back to silence, risking ruining the entire walk but saving the relationship they had built over the past two months, or he could answer her and potentially fuck everything up.

“You know what he meant, Sakura.”

Kakashi heard the words leaving his mouth before he could even approve the decision in his head, making him frown at his own body’s insubordination. He had always prided himself on always being on top of every single decision and action he ever took in his entire life and this new update in spontaneity wasn’t welcome in the slightest.

“Ok.”

Sakura’s short answer took Kakashi entirely by surprise. He couldn’t help but look down at her with his eyebrows furrowed, trying to make some sense of it. 

After finding Sakura facing the sidewalk ahead of them with her face serious while clearly deep in thought, Kakashi couldn’t have moved his eyes away even if he wanted to. It didn’t take long for her to realise she was being watched and turn her head up to meet his gaze.

Kakashi knew no more than two seconds had passed before Sakura shot him a soft, shy smile that made him involuntarily swallow but it had felt like a small eternity had passed in which all he had been able to do was stare at her dazzling green eyes.

What the fuck should he do now?

“I didn’t mean to be an asshole.” Once again, the words left his mouth before he could process them over.

“You weren’t,” Sakura reassured him, shaking her head. “I’m sorry for pressing it.”

“No, don’t apologise. I’m just…” 

What could he even _say_? That he was confused as hell about what he should do regarding the undeniable feelings he held for her? That he wanted to murder his best friend for forcing this conversation to happen in the first place?

That he desperately wanted to kiss her at that very moment more than anything else in the whole world?

“What were you guys talking about at the bar?” Sakura asked as Kakashi clearly struggled to finish his sentence.

“What?” he asked, both eyebrows furrowed in his forehead.

“When I went to your table for last call, you guys were laughing pretty hard. What was it about?”

A wave of relief crashed over Kakashi as he allowed Sakura to change the subject. He had no idea why she was doing it—could be either because she wasn’t interested in him and wanted to shut down the conversation or because she did feel the same and just like him wasn’t ready to have it all out in the open yet.

Regardless of the reason that drove her to do it, Kakashi was immensely grateful.

For the next few minutes, he told her the story Genma and him had been reliving at the bar, smiling reflexively at her incredulous laughter as he got to the end.

“How did that happen?” he asked, a wide smile splattered on her face.

“We have _no_ idea.” Kakashi shrugged, a grin playing on his own lips. “All we know is we woke up with an insane amount of money and those two lighters in our pockets.”

“What did you do with it all?”

“Well, we used the money to fund our next nights out. We usually drank the cheapest alcohol we could find at 24-hour stores but we decided to drink like kings that week,” Kakashi chuckled at the memory. “And we gave the lighters to our smoker friend.”

Sakura shook her head in disbelief, the incredulous smile still playing on her lips.

“What about you?” Kakashi asked her, one eyebrow raised suggestively in his forehead. “Any good drunk stories?”

At first, all Sakura did in response was let out a chuckle as she pulled the hair tie holding her ponytail up and let her pink strands fall free down her shoulders.

“As you know, I’m a wine drinker.” She looked up at him with those breathtaking jade eyes while a playful smile took form on her lips.

“I do know that.” Kakashi nodded in accordance.

“I stick to it because I know my limits and also how it affects me, which is even more important,” Sakura said as she absentmindedly massaged the back of her skull, that dazzling smile still playing on her lips. “I did try it out with heavier drinks once and was left completely traumatised.”

Kakashi chuckled as the mental image of a completely wasted Sakura dancing on top of a table only to regret it like hell the next day took over his mind. He didn’t say anything, though, waiting for her to tell her story on her own time.

“Ok, it might not have been the smartest decision in the world but this one time when I was around nineteen I drank an entire bottle of wine by myself and then let my friends convince me I should try tequila out.”

Kakashi’s lips parted in a grin as he perfectly pictured what happened to Sakura that evening. One never forgot the first monumental fuck-up when mixing drinks, which almost always resulted in a fantastic session of puking their guts out.

“I know you think you know what happened but you really don’t.” Sakura looked up at him, reading his thoughts. “So, for my first year at uni I lived in the dorms at campus and this night happened a few weeks after I’d moved out to my apartment. We were out drinking at the Rusty Kunai, of course, and all I know from what happened there was told by my friends the next day. Apparently, I was completely wasted for a while but was also apparently doing fine. Didn’t do anything major, just butt-dialled my dad while having a very long and explicit sex talk with my friends. And yeah, he heard it.”

“Oh, no,” Kakashi closed his eyes in sheer embarrassment for her but was unable to stop himself from laughing. “That’s fucking awful.”

“No, that’s still not it.” Sakura raised a hand to touch his right bicep, a huge smile playing on her lips as she started laughing along.

“How can that _not_ be it?” Kakashi’s eyes widened as he looked down at her.

“Apparently, I was fine enough that no one thought I needed company walking home when I decided to leave.” She moved her hand away from his arm—Kakashi did his best to not dwell on how much he wished she’d put it back—and brushed a strand of her pink hair off of her face. “And yeah, I made my way home just fine, except for the fact that my extremely drunk brain forgot where home _was_. In the end, I ended up going back to the dorm and crashed on the bed I used to sleep in.”

“No,” Kakashi said, his eyes widening even more in disbelief.

“Yup.” Sakura nodded, softly laughing at the memory. “Completely passed out there. Thankfully didn’t throw up. Woke up the next morning with a major headache and extremely confused as to why the fuck there was a guy studying on the desk next to my bed. I remember realising I wasn’t where I was meant to be and asking where the hell I was and all he said was ‘uni’, without even looking up from his book.”

Sakura completely lost it as she retold the guy’s nonchalance to the situation, throwing her head back with her eyes closed as her contagious laughter took over. Kakashi couldn’t stop himself from laughing as well as he pictured a completely hungover Sakura trying to make sense of what’d happened the night before.

“Was the bed you slept on his?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief with a wide grin still playing on his lips.

“I wish I could give you a sure answer for that but I truly have no idea.” Sakura wiped away the tears of laughter that escaped her eyes. “All I know is I was wearing jeans and everything was exactly where it was meant to be when I woke up, so I took it as a victory.”

“Definitely a victory.” Kakashi nodded, still amazed at the prospect of drunk Sakura.

He really hoped he could see that with his own eyes someday.

“So, _that’s_ why I stick to wine.”

“At least you didn’t throw up,” Kakashi pointed out.

“Oh, yeah.” Sakura nodded. “Honestly, I don’t know how. The first time I threw up because of drinking happened for a lot less.”

“Ok, I need to know about it.”

Sakura chuckled as she rolled her eyes at him but wasted no time before telling him the entire story.

The next few minutes went by on a similar note, with both Sakura and Kakashi exchanging stories of their drunken fuck-ups to each other. Even though Sakura’s stories weren’t nearly as wild and insane as Kakashi’s, it was deeply fascinating—and honestly quite an honour—for him to get to know that more private side of her. He knew Sakura well enough to know she would never tell any of those stories to anyone she didn’t ultimately trust and that realisation meant so much to Kakashi at that moment he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

All too soon, though, they turned the corner to Sakura’s street. They had been so deep in conversation and having so much fun Kakashi blinked in surprise as soon as he spotted her building a few meters away.

He really appreciated how easily all of the tension and awkwardness from the beginning of their walk had evaporated away. If he really tried, he could almost pretend it had all been a figment of his imagination and he hadn’t actually admitted to Sakura he had feelings for her.

Had she even understood it? Now, he truly had no idea. 

What if she hadn’t?

“I always feel so shitty that you have to walk all the way back.”

The sound of Sakura’s voice mercifully whisked Kakashi away from his thoughts, rooting him back into reality at least for the next few minutes.

“Sakura, I wouldn’t walk you home this often if I was even slightly bothered by it.”

“Yeah, I know that.” Sakura flashed him a knowing smile. “Still, I really appreciate it.”

“Does that mean I still get free drinks at the bar?” he joked.

Sakura laughed at his question, shaking her head in disbelief while stepping off the curb so they could cross the street to where her building stood.

“I knew there were ulterior motives involved in all this.” 

Kakashi knew she was also joking but it didn’t stop his gut from curling uncomfortably tight at her words.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He nodded, doing his very best to pretend nothing other than the free drinks had passed through his mind.

“Well, guess I’m going bankrupt before Summer, then.”

Kakashi looked down at her with faked offence as she giggled while searching her purse for her keys.

“Maa, Sakura. I only had two whiskeys tonight, I’m sure your savings can hold it together at least until Christmas.”

The sweet sound of her laughter made Kakashi’s lips involuntarily part in a smile, as it pretty much always did.

All jokes aside, he had come to live for those little moments he got to spend alone with Sakura. He honestly wouldn’t mind walking with her all the way to the Land of Fire border just so he could have an excuse to talk to her for hours on end.

“I’ll see you Sunday, right?” she asked, a set of keys with a Konoha University keychain clutched in her hand.

“Of course.”

Sakura nodded at him, giving him another soft smile of her own before taking the few steps that led to her building’s door and unlocking it. 

“Thanks again, Kakashi.” She turned as she threw the door open. 

“No need to thank me, Sakura, you know that.”

“Ok, ok, sorry.” She giggled. “Good morning.”

Kakashi wished her a good morning in return and waved with one hand while keeping the other one on his jeans’ pocket, staying rooted to his spot until the door was securely shut behind her. Taking a deep breath and looking up at the dark sky for a second before walking back home, he tried to convince himself everything was ok.

It was almost as if Sakura had completely forgotten the conversation they had at the beginning of their walk. 

He just wasn’t sure whether that was good or not.

As he carried on the same path they’d just come from, Kakashi now wished Sakura had given him some kind of indication as to how she felt in return. Sure, he was still devastatingly terrified of the entire situation but perhaps things would be a bit easier if only he knew for sure if all of the little signs he’d been reading off of her were accurate or not.

Still, it’s not like Kakashi couldn’t be sure Sakura felt something towards him, even if it was just physical attraction. There was no arguing against how she had definitely thought of kissing him the previous Sunday. That much was a certainty in Kakashi’s head and as much as he had desperately wanted to do it then as well, he deeply appreciated how cool she had been about him not being quite ready for it yet.

Unless… Unless she hadn’t taken it that way. What if she figured he didn’t kiss her because he didn’t _want_ to?

That very thought was enough to make Kakashi groan out loud as he turned another corner on his way back home. Never in a billion years would Kakashi ever reject Sakura and he could only hope she was aware of that.

But even if that had been the case and Sakura had thought he wasn’t interested, everything must have changed in the past thirty minutes. He practically admitted he had feelings for her and even though it hadn’t been a full-out admission with all the letters, it had been pretty clear. At least in Kakashi’s book, it had.

In the end, Kakashi guessed he owed Genma a thank you instead of a one-way ticket to his coffin for forcing Kakashi to have that extremely awkward conversation with Sakura.

All he could do was hope she had taken all the right conclusions from it.

.

.

.

“It’s essential that you remember the vulnerable spots so you can hit your attacker on them.” Kakashi stuffed both hands into the pockets of his track pants, his charcoal eyes intense as he looked down at her. “Eyes, nose, throat, knees, ankles, and, of course, the groin. If the soap holder had hit that guy square on the nose instead of just cutting him, he’d have been disoriented enough for a few seconds, enough for you to escape.”

“That’s good to know,” Sakura mumbled, still trying to catch her breath after their warmup as casually as she could.

Just like it had been every early morning for the past week, the gym was completely empty except for the two of them on Sunday morning. Their things were laying on the floor right outside of the mat and Kakashi and Sakura stood barefoot on it, face to face as they gave start to another proper self-defence training.

“Right here—” Kakashi indicated the centre of his chest with his hand—“is the solar plexus. It’s a bundle of nerves behind the stomach. If you punch your attacker on the right spot, it’ll knock his breath out.”

Sakura nodded her understanding, willing herself to not let her eyes linger on his firm abdomen. Getting distracted by him was already easy enough as it was and it honestly was the last thing she needed at the moment.

“Are you keeping up with your cardio workout?”

Kakashi’s question thankfully forced Sakura to shut her mind to her unwanted musings, grounding her back to reality.

“Yeah, I ran a few times this week but I didn’t have much time.”

His answer consisted of an understanding nod. They both knew Sakura was dealing with a crazy schedule at the moment and, honestly, it was somewhat of a miracle she managed to run twice that week at all.

“And how’s the soreness?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sakura raised one eyebrow in her forehead, moving one hand up to her waist.

The chuckle that left Kakashi’s mouth should have been enough to irritate Sakura but it did the complete opposite, making her bite her lower lip with force to stop herself from smiling.

“Funny, I know a person who’s been wincing every single time she’s moved this past week,” he said.

“Hm, don’t forget that person knows how to throw a proper punch now.”

Kakashi’s outburst of laughter made it impossible for Sakura to keep holding back her smile. She fucking loved the warmness that started off on her chest and spread to every single corner of her body every time Kakashi laughed like that at something she said, as stupid as it had been.

“I’ll watch out for that,” he said, a grin still playing on his lips as he shook his head at her. “So, what do you say? Can we move on to other grabbing scenarios?”

Sakura was still smiling as she nodded up at him, her heart skipping a beat as she realised they’d finally be touching again soon.

“Ok.” Kakashi nodded back at her, any sign of the playfulness they’d been sharing for the past few seconds leaving his face. “Now I’ll show you how to get out if someone grabs you by the arm, ok? If they try to yank you somewhere you don’t want to go.”

“Ok,” Sakura consented and took a deep breath, willing her heart to stop thumping so hard in anticipation.

Kakashi took a step closer to her and raised his hand, sending her a questioning look. As soon as she consented again, his strong hand closed around her left bicep with steel-like strength.

Sakura did her very best to ignore her shaky intake of breath that followed the contact of his warm skin on her exposed arm, doing her very best to sharpen her mind and focus on what she needed to learn.

“Let me know if I hurt you, ok?”

“Kakashi, stop worrying about that. You won’t and I need the real thing to learn.”

“Doesn’t mean you need to get hurt,” Kakashi pointed out and moved on before Sakura could answer. “You want me to tell you straight away how to get out or would you like to try on your own first?” 

“On my own first,” Sakura answered without a second of hesitation.

“Ok.” Kakashi gave her a firm nod, the corner of his lip slightly lifting in appreciation to her eagerness. “Sakura, I’m serious, let me know if it hurts.”

Sakura was about to scold him again but decided against it, deciding it was best to just go ahead and follow through with escaping his grip. The two of them could keep having that same argument for hours on end and it wouldn’t lead anywhere.

Following her gut instinct without a second thought, Sakura tried pulling her arm back away from him with force and winced as a sharp pain exploded on her shoulder. Kakashi’s strong grip had easily outmatched her own strength and kept her arm exactly where it had been, making all the force Sakura had used to pull away move up to her shoulders in a way it definitely shouldn’t have. 

He immediately let go of her arm, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at her with a mixture of concern and exasperation.

“I’m fine,” Sakura said before he could say anything, placing her other hand on her aching shoulder and rounding it back once to see if it got better.

By the time she let her arm relax again, her shoulder still ached but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle.

“I told you it could hurt.” Kakashi scowled down at her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, her eyes momentarily widening at him as she tried to make her point. “I want to try again.”

“I can just tell you how to get out.”

“No, I want to try by myself.”

Kakashi nodded, grabbing her arm again. With half a speech already formed on her mind to scold him if he sugar-coated things for her, Sakura was pleased to see he didn’t ease his strong grip on her at all.

Now, Sakura learned from her previous mistake and took a second to process what she should do. Thinking back to what he’d taught her on how to get out of the wrist grabbing scenario, it seemed plausible to try something about what she’d learned on the general weakness of grips. 

Pulling her arm with calculated certainty against the side where Kakashi’s thumb rested, Sakura’s lips widened in an open-mouthed grin as her arm smoothly slipped away from his strong grip, breaking it a lot more smoothly than she’d ever expected.

“Yes!” Kakashi shot her a proud grin as he realised she’d done it right. “That’s it!”

Sakura started jumping up and down in a little dance of excitement with both arms raised high, really fucking proud of herself for correctly using the knowledge she’d acquired all on her own. 

“That was amazing, Sakura,” he said, beaming down at her.

She didn’t know whether he was smiling at her blatant excitement or whether he was just proud of how she managed to do it without his guidance.

Maybe it was both.

“Thanks.” Sakura finally settled down again and beamed up at him, pure excitement rushing through her veins. “Can we do it again?”

“Of course. I’ll grab your arm from the side now.”

There was nothing Sakura could do about the pure elation rushing through her veins as Kakashi took a step to stand next to her and grabbed her arm from a different angle. A small voice in her head wondered if she’d be getting another bruise from him again but she barely acknowledged it, her mind completely focused on analysing the grip he now had on her.

The difference in standing position forced Sakura to circle her arm clockwise, applying the same technique of pressing against the weak part of his grip—his thumb. As expected, it worked out perfectly and Sakura went off in excitement all over again.

Even though it had been fairly easy and Sakura had managed to figure it out all by herself, they still redid the movement multiple times, always changing angles and training both arms to make her really grasp the action. It would have to be completely automatic if she ever needed to use it and there was no such thing as too much practice.

A while later, though, Kakashi looked up at the clock on the wall and Sakura followed suit. It was 8:07 and they had a little over one hour ahead of them before they had to leave the gym.

“I think we can move on to cover more ground,” he said as he turned his head back to look down at her. “Do you want to move on to hair grabbing or practice more punching?”

Sakura swallowed as soon as Kakashi said the words ‘hair grabbing’. She knew he was giving her a way out of falling into that particular area of their workout in case she wasn’t ready or comfortable yet and while she really appreciated his thoughtfulness, she really was as ready as she’d ever be.

“Let’s do the hair thing.” Sakura nodded, her heart jumping in anticipation.

“Ok, I’ll go get us some water first.”

Sakura watched as Kakashi walked over to the end of the mat and picked up both of their water bottles before walking off to the nearest drinking fountain on the wall.

Letting out a sigh to calm herself down, Sakura trying to convince herself everything was ok. She was well aware their training was bound to get more and more physical as it went on, knowing it was only a matter of time until they got to not only hair grabbing scenarios but also choking and mounting, as he’d warned her well in advance—and got her explicit approval, of course. 

The important matter at hand was that Sakura was really scared she wouldn’t be able to keep her cool with Kakashi touching her like any of that not for the purposes she wanted. Especially now that she was completely, utterly confused about where the fuck she even _stood_ with him.

Had the possibility of Kakashi being attracted to her passed through Sakura’s mind multiple times for the past few weeks? Sure, yeah, but she had always completely squashed those thoughts away before they made her too delusional. It would do her absolutely no good to grow fake expectations over something that would most likely never happen.

Ever since the previous Sunday on his studio, though, it had been crystal clear to Sakura something was going on between the two of them and she’d dared hope her thoughts weren’t completely unfounded. 

Now, Sakura was one hundred per cent sure she got a major confirmation for it. A little over twenty-four hours had passed since whatever the hell had happened on their walk and it’s not like Genma had been discreet about any of it at the Rusty Kunai. That’s why she’d asked Kakashi what Genma had meant. In the ideal scenario, Kakashi would have answered her question with a very clear definition of what the fuck was going on inside his mind, making her life significantly easier and telling her exactly what she needed to know. 

He hadn’t, though, and Sakura had to deal with what she had in her hands. Which was basically _nothing_ , thanks to her unbelievable luck.

If she was being honest with herself, Sakura knew he couldn’t possibly be feeling anything beyond physical attraction towards her. It’s not like she had any concrete expectations Kakashi would want anything to do with her—for fuck’s sake, what could she add to the life of a war veteran in his thirties?—and it was good she now knew for sure he was attracted to her.

Even though it sucked to know he wasn’t as emotionally fucked up as she was with the entire situation, at least physical attraction was something.

Could Sakura have pushed him further after his cryptic, definitely unclear answer as to what Genma had meant? Yes, she knew she could have. But it’s not like she could completely have ignored all of the anxieties that rushed through her mind at the mere prospect of having anything with Kakashi. 

What the fuck would Sakura have even _done_ had he actually given her a decent answer? She had no idea.

She would have probably dropped down on the floor and pretended she’d died just to avoid dealing with what she wanted to do to him. Her insane attraction to that man was all nice and easy to deal with while it remained safely locked inside her own head, serving as exceptional material for her late-night fantasies as she touched herself into oblivion.

Turning those fantasies into reality was absolutely terrifying, though, and Sakura doubted she’d survive it.

Still, Sakura forced herself to push those thoughts into the farthest point of her mind and just move on as she caught Kakashi turning back with both water bottles in his hands. She was starting to understand Kakashi was a puzzle she’d never truly be able to solve, so it might be best if she just stopped trying.

She gladly took the pink water bottle from his hand as he approached her, thanking him for filling it up before taking a generous sip. Sakura was already really, really tired with her entire body scalding hot but it hadn’t been nearly enough for her to want to stop.

Kakashi was the first to put his black plastic bottle away, taking the few steps to the edge of the mat and placing it down next to their sneakers. Crossing his arms over his chest after making his way back, he waited while Sakura followed suit and met him again in the centre of the training space.

“Ok, look.” He pinched the bridge of his nose for a second before returning his arm into the crossed position from before. “This attack is the easiest one for your attacker to gain complete control over your body. It’s fast, rough, _disgustingly_ easy for him, and definitely terrible for you. He can grab your hair from whatever angle he wants and all of them will have the same effect on you. Complete submission, basically.”

Sakura swallowed down in nervousness at the seriousness in his tone.

“Both the wrist and arm grabbings are easy enough for you to gain your control back, as you already know,” he went on. “It sucks but this particular attack is not one we can just go over and over again calmly, repeating the movements so your response becomes automatic. If it ever happens to you, it’ll be _bad_ , Sakura. The only thing you can do is hit the guy back as efficiently as you can and you have to know how to do it, regardless of the circumstances.”

The defined muscles in his crossed arms were tense but for once Sakura was way too nervous to get distracted by it.

“Sakura, you know you call all the shots here.” He nodded at her once, making sure she understood the seriousness of the situation. “If you want I can grab your shirt’s collar instead of your hair.”

“No.” Sakura immediately shook her head. “I want the real thing. As close to it as possible.”

Kakashi uncrossed his arms and stuffed both hands deep into the pockets of his track pants.

“Do you understand what I’m suggesting?”

“You want to do this as a real attack,” Sakura said, her heart thumping strongly inside her chest. “No sugar-coating it. Right?”

“It would be best.” He nodded again, his face deadly serious. “It will do you no good if I just lightly grab your hair and stand like a statue teaching you nice ways to get out of it, your attacker wouldn’t do that. He would most likely be a lot stronger than you and use that advantage to pull or push you around to gain complete control. You need to know how to get out of that, as bad as it is.”

“It’s ok.” Sakura nodded. “It makes sense.”

“I know you know but if you want me to stop just say the word and I will.”

“I know. I trust you.”

As Sakura’s words hung in the air between them, there was a considerable spike in the almost palpable electricity between them. The intensity in Kakashi’s charcoal eyes grew impossibly stronger as he firmly nodded down at her.

Sakura nodded up at him in return, letting him know she was ready even though her nervousness grew steadily with each passing second. She really did trust him—probably way more than she should trust a man she’d only known for a few months, now that she thought of it—but she couldn’t help but realise what they were about to do was actually serious.

“What do I do?” she asked, grounding herself for what came next.

“If the attack comes from behind you, you need to concentrate on turning around in his direction so you can hit him in his vulnerable spots. You can use the palm of your hands or your elbow to hit his nose, under his chin, literally anywhere from the neck up. Going for the groin will be tricky with the poor balance you’ll have and if you miss it you’re fucked, so don’t do it unless there are no other options. Your main priority is to keep your balance so that you can successfully strike him.”

Sakura cracked the knuckles of her hands as she nodded, trying to get her breathing back to normal as her heart thumped loudly inside her chest.

“Ok, but wait.” She raised a hand to stop him from talking. “What do I do with you?”

Kakashi frowned at her question, clearly not understanding what she meant.

“I can’t hit you like that.” She frowned as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Yeah, you can.” The seriousness both in his tone and face made Sakura swallow. “And you will. Don’t worry, I can take it.”

“But…”

“Sakura, I’ve taken a lot worse. Don’t worry, you need to learn and you’ll only learn if you do it.”

“Ok.” She nodded, growing impossibly more nervous.

“You sure you don’t want me pulling your shirt?”

“Kakashi, if you can take it, so can I.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile reflexively at the small grin he obviously tried to hide from her. She had no idea how any of it would be going down but she hadn’t lied when she said she trusted Kakashi immensely. She wasn’t a stranger to the sheer vulnerability having her hair pulled caused but then again the only circumstance she was used to it was vastly different than the present one.

Still, she knew Kakashi would never do anything that made her feel uncomfortable. 

“Wanna do a test pull to know what it feels like?” he asked, raising one sharp silver eyebrow at her.

Sakura was just about to say she did know what it felt like but stopped herself before any of those words left her mouth.

“Yeah, sure.” was what she settled for. “Should I turn around or…”

“It’s up to you.”

“We’re gonna do it from every angle, right?”

“It’d be best but only if you want to.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile at that. She really appreciated how much Kakashi let her be in control of their training sessions, never doing anything without her explicit consent, not even something as simple as touching her arm. It was honestly so respectful, not even Sasuke had been that mindful of her boundaries when they had been together.

“Let’s do it.” Sakura nodded up at him and turned around, giving him free access to her ponytail.

“Ok, this one is just to get used to it.”

Sakura was just about to say something witty to release the tension in the air when her hair was yanked back with considerable strength, her head and body following suit as she completely lost her balance. The pull didn’t hurt much per se, as she knew it wouldn’t since Kakashi was pulling her entire hair and not only a few strands, but he hadn’t been joking about the complete submission thing.

It all lasted a few seconds. As Sakura involuntarily gave two clumsy steps back as her body followed the direction her hair was being pulled to, she realised it truly was a struggle to keep herself on her feet with her entire balance compromised. 

Kakashi stopped pulling her towards him just as she was about to fall down on her ass, gently letting go of her hair and giving her a few seconds to straighten back up and turn around to face him.

“You ok?” He asked, his charcoal eyes studying her attentively.

“Holy shit,” Sakura let out an incredulous laugh. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Nah, it’s fine.” She shook her head. “Now I get it, the balance thing. Damn.”

Kakashi nodded, his thin silver eyebrows furrowed slightly in his forehead.

“Yeah, now you see why you have to do everything you can to end it quickly.”

Now that Sakura knew what it’d be like, she realised it was a lot harder than it seemed to turn around in his direction and hit him in any of his vulnerable spots while completely under his control. It had felt like her entire body was submissive to Kakashi and his will and doing something as simple as keeping her balance had seemed nearly impossible.

“Don’t worry, we’ll work on it,” Kakashi said as if he knew exactly what was on her mind, stuffing both hands into the pockets of his track pants. “The worst scenario is you’re not expecting the attack, since it’s most likely you’ll lose your balance with the surprise and you’ll have to get back on your feet. If you’re expecting danger, you can instinctively plant your feet and stay rooted. We’ll be working on all of those, you’ll build your own reflexes with time.”

Sakura nodded, taking consolation in his reassurance. She knew he’d teach her everything she needed to know and it was with no hesitation that Sakura turned her back to him one more time.

“Ok, let’s go again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo my darlings, how are you guys??? I hope this new chapter finds you all well!
> 
> I know I took a longer time than usual with this one but not only did my personal life completely go to shit these past two weeks but I was also struck with major writer's block. still, I hope the wait wasn't too long and that the longer chapter made up for it!
> 
> ok, as for the actual chapter ehehe you guys, we're getting to a MAJOR turning point in here! I'm honestly having way more fun than I should with this whole 'I hope she knows it' and 'I hope HE knows it' when neither of them is fucking knowing any of it. I swear their communication skills will improve drastically very, very soon ;)
> 
> and yup, Genma is NOT joking at service. as we can see, he really fucking meant it when he said he'd taken seven non-paid days off and he would not waste them. I'm grinning like a fool as I write this, if it weren't for him god knows how long it'd have taken those two idiots to have this simple conversation (even though they've both misunderstood it for now lol)
> 
> oh god, I'm really excited about what's about to come next! hope you guys are too!
> 
> once again, thanks a loooot for all the lovely reviews and kudos! you guys are fucking AMAZING and I wouldn't even be doing this anymore if it weren't for you <3
> 
> much, much love to you all!
> 
> -A


	17. thank me later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo, my darlings!!!!! I hope this chapter—a LOT longer than usual, I know—finds you well!!!!!!
> 
> first and foremost, I'd like to dedicate this one to our fucking perfect boy Kakashi, since it's his birthday today lol (at least it still is in my timezone). 
> 
> but yeah, it's as they say! he's the one who's having a birthday, but you guys are the ones who're getting a present.
> 
> you'll see what I mean ;)
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> -A

As it turned out, that week was a lot more fun for Kakashi than he’d previously expected.

Even though he’d known all along that spending a considerable extra amount of time with Sakura would be nothing short of amazing, the prospect of spending most of that time at the Rusty Kunai with Genma and making sure his idiotic friend didn’t fuck up more than he already had was rightfully dreaded by Kakashi.

To his utter surprise, though, Genma had behaved perfectly for the past days. For those three evenings they’d spent at the Rusty Kunai on that week, the most outrageous thing Genma had done was eat eight burgers— _eight_ burgers, for fuck’s sake. There hadn’t been even a single snide comment from the brown-haired idiot, not even when saying goodbye to them at 2 am when Sakura closed up the bar before Kakashi would walk her home. 

Of course, that sudden change in behaviour coming from the sneakiest person Kakashi knew only made him even warier that this was nothing but the calm before the storm.

And, to top it all off, this was the _one week_ in the entire semester Kakashi couldn’t afford to keep a careful eye on his friend’s bullshit. 

Under normal circumstances, the week before midterms would be a week Kakashi would simply procrastinate until Thursday evening and then work tirelessly for the next twenty-four hours to deliver all of his exams on time. Now, Kakashi was keeping up with a considerably tighter schedule with the new addition of Sakura into his life and he had to do everything he could to _not_ let Genma on the loose at the Rusty Kunai while he stayed locked in his office at campus until the wee hours of the morning.

That meant Kakashi had to actually get shit done during the week, which was a huge twist from his pattern of thirty-four years of procrastination. 

Still, even though he hadn’t slept for more than 3 hours each night since the previous Sunday, Kakashi found himself absolutely swamped with work on Friday night. As it turned out, it didn’t really matter if he used the entire week to get work done ahead if he would constantly get distracted by thoughts of a certain someone he definitely shouldn’t be thinking of. 

As his phone buzzed with his usual 9 pm alarm—time to walk Pakkun—, Kakashi loudly groaned. Pressing the button to turn off the sound, he roughly brushed a hand over his face. There were three hours left until he had to submit the final exam and there was no way he’d be done with it in at least two hours.

Kakashi had only himself to blame. He knew Sakura would completely understand if they’d put their training sessions on hold for that week, especially since she herself was also busy revising for the three exams she’d be taking. Still, he simply didn’t want to sacrifice any of the precious time they had together over some stupid university obligation.

For fuck’s sake, what was _happening_ to him?

Kakashi sighed as he picked up his phone and opened up his chat with Genma, wasting no time before typing what he could only hope would be enough to convince his friend to have mercy on him.

_I’ll kill you if you go there, I fucking mean it_

He was just about to lock his phone again and get back to work when he saw the three dots indicating Genma had started typing up a reply.

_chill, dude, you don’t want your hair to grey before it’s time, do you?_

Kakashi immediately rolled his eyes at his friend’s response.

_Ha. ha. I’m serious, don’t go there. I’m still stuck here, I’m trusting you with this. Also, can you walk Pakkun?_

_is throwing it out the window good enough?_

Kakashi did not dignify Genma’s ridiculous question with a reply. He’d known Genma would never consider walking Pakkun unless there was a gun pointed to his head—maybe not even then—but it’d been worth a try.

Locking his phone and placing it back on the desk, Kakashi sighed as he turned to look at his desktop. 

He was just about to ignore the buzzing that rippled through his phone again, knowing it would be Genma being an idiot, but he still quickly read over what was written on his locked screen as he moved to silence it. 

Genma: _a guy came looking for you today_

Both of Kakashi’s eyebrows furrowed as he unlocked his phone straight into the chat. This wasn’t expected. He wasn’t one to receive visitors, much less unannounced ones. 

_Who?_

_don’t know. very sleek suit. I asked if I could take a message but he’d only talk to you_

Kakashi’s eyebrows raised high in his forehead as his eyes read over the words on Genma’s text box. It’d been so many years since they’d last contacted him, Kakashi had actually started to think they’d given up.

_he said he’ll come back another time. u there?_

_Yeah_. _Just don’t go to the Rusty Kunai. I’ll be home before midnight_

Genma sent a thumbs-up thing in return and Kakashi locked his phone again. 

Kakashi had never been one to dwell in unnecessary overthinking and it was only for that reason that he managed to focus straight back into work, any thoughts about what it meant to be contacted by _them_ again quickly shunned to the furthest point of his mind. 

Moving back to the pressing issues he had at hand, Kakashi truly did consider telling Genma to come to campus so he could keep an eye on his friend, but even he knew that would be too much. All he could do was hope Genma’s bizarre streak of acceptable behaviour for the past days hadn’t been part of a bigger plan and that he’d steer clear of Sakura while Kakashi was away.

It’s a shame Kakashi was never good at this blindly trusting thing.

.

.

.

Even though it had been a little over twelve hours since Kakashi had let Sakura know he most likely wouldn’t be able to show up at the bar that night, she couldn’t help but anxiously eye the front door of the Rusty Kunai every time she caught it being opened in her peripheral vision. 

She felt herself frowning as her eyes slipped over to the wooden table Kakashi and Genma had been using the past times they’d been there. Sakura had just gotten so used to seeing Kakashi casually sipping his whiskey while sitting across from his friend on that wooden table it felt utterly _wrong_ to see it now occupied by other people.

Sakura hated to admit it but that week had been, by far, her favourite in the entire semester.

No, scratch that, it was the best fucking week she’d had since _Summer_. 

For fuck’s sake, how the hell was that even remotely acceptable? How could spending extra time with Kakashi make her enjoy that routine-y, pre-midterms week more than she’d enjoyed the week between _Christmas and New Year’s_?

It had, though. There was no denying it, especially since his absence at the moment left Sakura in a devastatingly sour mood her exceedingly expressive face made no attempt to hide.

“What’s kicking your ass?”

Sakura turned her head to the side to stare at Kiba as he crouched on the floor next to her, picking up a few glasses to prepare the order he’d gotten.

“Nothing's kicking my ass," she said, focusing back on the martini she’d been working on.

“Then why do you look so grumpy?”

Sakura was just about to scare Kiba away by saying she was PMSing when her eyes caught sight of the navy blue bandana she’d seen so much for the past few days. Her heart suddenly rammed inside her chest as her eyes studied the space surrounding Kakashi’s friend, trying to locate any trace of silver to bring her some peace of mind.

“He’s not here,” Genma smirked as he got close enough and leaned against the counter.

Sakura let her eyes focus back on him, doing the best she could to hide the disappointment from her face.

“What? Who?” She asked with feigned confusion as she dropped the olive-garnished toothpick into the cocktail glass and handed it to the waiting customer.

Genma full-out chuckled then, shaking his head in disbelief.

“This really won’t work if the two of you continue to be that stubborn.”

Sakura felt her eyes widening at his words, her lips dropping slightly open. She had been hit with a few free samples of Genma’s not-so-subtle comments before, especially on the previous Friday, but never like _that_.

“Sorry, what?”

“Come on, Pink, you heard me. I’ve known Kakashi for twenty years and I _know_ he’s stubborn as a mule. I’m counting on you to take the lead here, or it just won’t happen.”

Before Sakura could even begin to contemplate what the fuck she could answer, Genma pointed with his hand to the cash left on the counter for the martini. Sakura’s eyes followed his fingers and it took her a few seconds to collect the cash and stuff it into the back pocket of her jeans, her mind still struggling to accept what she’d just been told.

 _Take the lead?_ As in with _Kakashi_?

_What?_

“Can I have a pint while we’re at it?”

Genma’s smirk grew even smugger as Sakura didn’t immediately react to his request, still having a hard time placing her thoughts in order. Her body started working on autopilot as she turned to grab a pint glass and filled it up from the tab below the counter, her mind only starting to sharpen when she reangled the glass to leave just the perfect amount of foam on it.

And after those seconds of intense contemplation, she had reached only one conclusion. Sakura was one hundred per cent sure Kakashi was _completely_ oblivious to what Genma was doing.

She wasn’t even sure _what_ it was Genma was doing, the only certainty she had was Kakashi had certainly not approved any of it.

“Does Kakashi know you’re here?” Sakura asked as soon as she placed the full pint in front of Genma.

“I’m sure he knows, deep down in his brooding, self-loathing subconscious.” Genma fished his wallet from his jeans’ pocket and gave Sakura a $5, not bothering to tell her to keep the change. “But he did tell me _not_ to come, so I’d appreciate it if we kept this between the two of us for now.”

“Genma, I don’t know…” Sakura started, really uncomfortable in doing anything Kakashi wasn’t ok with.

“No, no, I know.” Genma raised a hand to interrupt her. “I won’t say anything else, I’ll just drink this, get a burger, and leave before Kakashi goes back home."

Sakura nodded, fully prepared to leave him be and focus back on work.

"I _did_ come here for a reason, though.”

Sakura felt it as one eyebrow rose in her forehead, not masking the sheer curiosity she felt as she wondered what the hell the reason could possibly be while at the same time dreading it with every fibre of her being.

“You don’t work Saturdays, do you?” He asked before taking a sip of his pint.

“No, I don’t.”

“Great.” Genma placed the pint back on the counter. “Then come here tomorrow for my goodbye party.”

Sakura had to fight to stop herself from bursting into laughter at his invitation. Sure, Genma was really cool and she was thankful she’d gotten to spend some time with him after he’d saved her a few weeks before, but... Wouldn’t it be _weird_? It’s not like they were friends.

“Uh…” She started, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she tried to figure out what to say.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Genma leaned back from the counter, grinning as he raised both hands in preparation to convince her. “It won’t be weird. There’ll be lots of people, I swear.”

“Really?” Sakura raised one eyebrow at him.

“Yup,” he nodded, bringing his right hand to rest on his chest where his heart was located. “Soldier’s honour.”

“Does Kakashi know you’re inviting me?”

“He’ll know.”

Sakura had gotten to know the mischievous grin in Genma’s lips enough to understand Kakashi would only actually know when she arrived at the party. Narrowing her eyes at him, Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“You have to tell Kakashi first. I won’t go if he’s not ok with it.”

Nodding in understanding, Genma fished out his phone from the front pocket of his jeans and immediately started typing something on the screen. After pressing send, he locked his phone again and placed the phone on top of the counter.

“Now we wait.”

Sakura chuckled and shook her head in incredulity, but quickly had to avert her attention to a red-haired girl who approached the counter. Quickly moving again to work on her order, Sakura tried her best not to laugh at how it took Genma less than ten seconds to strike up a conversation with the girl, who was now standing by his side. The girl remained by the counter even after Sakura handed her her drink, completely entranced in her flirting with Genma.

Shaking her head with a smile on her lips, Sakura got back to business, each second anxiously waiting to know Kakashi’s thoughts about her showing up to Genma’s goodbye party.

Thankfully, her mood drastically improved now that she had something regarding _Kakashi_ to look forward to. She wasn’t as happy as she would have been if he’d actually been there but waiting for his answer was good enough for now.

“Hey, Pink?” Genma called her after a while.

Sakura looked over at him as she collected the money from a group of guys. As Genma gave her a thumbs up, she quickly finished dealing with the cash and did the best she could to not run in his direction in all of her eagerness.

Shooting the red-haired girl a polite smile, Sakura expectantly turned her eyes back at Genma. She could hardly breathe as he raised his phone so she could read the unread text boxes on his locked screen.

Vampire Eyes: _Asuma and I don’t mind, it’s cool!_

Bowl Cut: _Yosh! The more the merrier! XD_

Bakashi: _Sure_

Sakura had no idea who Vampire Eyes and Bowl Cut were but Bakashi was crystal clear to her.

Her eyes read over the four letters that followed his nickname for what seemed like a billion times before she accepted he was _really_ ok with her going. Not that ‘sure’ was a completely enthusiastic answer but it was good enough. 

Maybe Kakashi was just a bad texter. She didn’t doubt it at all, in fact.

Sakura only realised there was a smile stamped on her lips when she caught sight of Genma’s smirk as he watched her.

“Ok then,” she said, shrugging one shoulder in an attempt to play it cool. “I’ll come.”

“Perfect. We’ll be here at eleven.”

“Ok, sounds great.” Sakura smiled. “Thanks for inviting me, by the way.”

“Of course.” Genma matched her smile with one of his own. “You’re cool, Pink, it’ll be fun.”

Sakura wasn’t quite sure what she could possibly answer to that but she was mercifully taken away from that obligation when the red-haired girl placed a hand on Genma’s bicep.

“I’m free tomorrow too.”

Wasting no time to see how _that_ situation ended, Sakura simply turned around and went back to work. She couldn’t help but smile absentmindedly every time her mind stranded a bit and brought her back to the fact that Kakashi was completely ok with having her hang out with his friends. 

Sure, Genma said there’d be many people there so she might not even interact with Kakashi’s group at all, but knowing he was _ok_ with it was enough to make her stomach flutter in anticipation.

.

.

.

Kakashi was tipsy. It had taken him four half-litre pints to get there, but, at fucking last, he found himself slouching further into his seat on the last booth at the Rusty Kunai, his body warming up considerably as he half-listened to Gai’s words.

“You still haven’t taken me up on my challenge, Shiranui!” Gai scolded the brown-haired guy sitting to Kakashi’s left. “Cowardice is no good for your youth!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see.” Genma waved a hand dismissively as he brought his nearly empty pint up to his mouth.

“Seriously, though, you’ll be missed, Genma,” Kurenai said from where she sat between Asuma and Gai, directly across from Kakashi. “Maybe don’t take too long to come back this time.”

“Nah, it’s better to stay there longer so I can take these long vacations.” Genma shrugged.

“You can just take a month off every year.” Tenzou leaned forward onto the table to be able to look at Genma from where he sat on Kakashi’s other side. “It’s better than staying away for two years like a... nomad.”

All of the other occupants of the table chuckled and exchanged knowing glances at Tenzou’s final word. He’d always been known as the first to get drunk between the six of them, and those poorly ended phrases meant the night was officially getting started. From there on, it was straight uphill for them—or downhill, depending on who’d been asked.

Kakashi brought his pint up to his mouth to finish it, not particularly interested in discussing Genma’s vacation plans. 

Checking his watch, he saw it was 10:43 pm, a little over 2 hours since they’d gotten there. Knowing his friends, it would take many more before they were even remotely ready to leave. Maybe they weren’t nearly as rowdy now as they’d been back when they were students but all of them still knew how to have a good time on the few occasions they did manage to get wasted.

As Kakashi’s eyes moved unconsciously to the bartender counter, he wondered how his night would have been going if Sakura had been working tonight. He’d known all along she didn’t work on Saturdays but that knowledge hadn’t stopped Kakashi from foolishly searching for that familiar flash of pink behind the bartender counter when he’d walked in hours before.

“By the way, where’s your friend, Genma? Is he coming?”

Asuma’s question on the new subject momentarily brought Kakashi’s attention back to the table. Turning his head to the left to stare at his friend, Kakashi couldn’t help but raise a sharp eyebrow at the mischievous grin on Genma’s lips.

“I said we’d be here at eleven.” He brought the pint to his mouth, drinking the rest of it in one go.

Kakashi furrowed his brows. Why the hell did he tell his friend to arrive after everyone was halfway drunk?

There were many fishy signs that convinced Kakashi there was something _wrong_ with the entire thing with Genma's 'friend'. The amount of dedication Genma was pouring into building his phrases in a way he wouldn’t need to say any kind of gendered nouns when referring to his friend was, by far, the fishiest of all. 

The more Kakashi thought of it, the more certain he was of who it was Genma had invited. 

Regardless of any denial he might have been the entire day, it was time for Kakashi to accept the fact that Sakura was one hundred per cent the mysterious friend. He knew for a fact Genma didn’t have any other friends he cared about enough to invite to this shit and _of fucking course_ he’d called her as a final master plan or something.

It was officially time for Kakashi to stop drinking.

Since his internal musings had shifted his focus from the conversation on the table, Kakashi pushed Genma’s shoulder so he’d step off the booth and free the way for Kakashi to go piss. Grabbing his now empty pint glass so he could take it back to the counter, Kakashi asked if anyone on the table wanted more drinks. With Genma’s and Kurenai’s orders in mind, Kakashi first left the empty glass on the bar and made a quick stop at the bathroom to take care of his business before going back to order his friends’ drinks. 

As it turned out, Saturday was just as horribly busy of a night as Fridays usually were at the Rusty Kunai. Kakashi had always known it from his own university days but it’d been years since he’d last been to the bar on a Saturday. The crowd hadn’t been one of his favourite things in the world back then and it definitely wasn’t one now. Finding a spot by the busy counter wasn’t troublesome at all for him, though, as usual. Kakashi had never had any trouble with these kinds of situations since people just always seemed to step away whenever he approached. 

Not that he complained about it, of course.

It took a few seconds until a guy with long, dark-brown hair took his order, and Kakashi lazily fished the wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans to grab the money to pay as he waited for the pints.

Glancing down at his watch again, Kakashi saw it was 10:56. Knowing Sakura, it wouldn’t take more than four minutes before she walked through that door.

Kakashi placed the money on the counter and put his wallet back in his pocket, his expectations rising exponentially along with his heart rate as the seconds went by. Using his left forearm to lean against the wooden surface, Kakashi turned his body to the left so he could watch the door. 

Nothing. 

After a few more seconds went by, Kakashi caught himself impatiently drumming his closed fist on the wooden counter and immediately stopped. 

“Here’s one of them,” came a voice from behind the counter and Kakashi turned to watch as the bartender placed one of the pints on the counter.

As the guy moved to work on the second pint, Kakashi turned around once again just in time to catch the door closing shut. 

His heart pathetically leapt as his eyes followed the path that led from the door to his booth, and one silver eyebrow raised fractionally in Kakashi’s forehead when he caught the pink hair he’d spent the past two hours pathetically yearning to see.

Kakashi was moving before he could even process it. His ears caught the bartender’s confused protest but it had the same effect it would’ve had if Kakashi hadn’t heard it at all. He simply didn’t stop until he reached the booth, just in time to see Genma standing up from his seat and pulling Sakura into a hug.

“Guys, this is Sakura!” He turned to show her to their friends, beaming with delight. “Sakura, this is everyone. You’ll learn the names as the night goes on.”

Not yet wanting to bring attention to himself as he stood behind Sakura, Kakashi could only watch—and try his fucking best not to smile at the sight—as his friends warmly greeted her and introduced themselves. Tenzou looked momentarily taken aback at seeing his student being introduced as Genma’s new friend but surprised them all by making a stupid joke about it, the alcohol clearly taking the best of him.

Any joy Kakashi had been feeling at seeing Sakura being so warmly welcomed by his friends deflated bit by bit, though, as he reminded himself they were meeting her as Genma’s friend, not Kakashi’s… whatever it was they were to each other.

Kakashi had never introduced a woman to his friends and for the first fucking time in his life, he actually wanted to. And it was _happening_ , right at that moment. Sakura was being introduced to his friends and, _of course_ , they would love her. 

But they had no idea what she meant to _him_ —and couldn’t, at least not while she was his student.

And it fucking sucked.

“Kakashi, are you ok?” Asuma asked as soon as there was a brief silence on the table.

Sakura’s head whipped around at the sound of his name, her glossed lips slightly parting as her jade eyes found his. 

“Hey,” she said quite breathlessly, a dazzling smile taking form on her lips.

“Yo,” Kakashi answered on autopilot as he swallowed, his body going momentarily still as his mind momentarily blanked.

“What’s that on your hands, Miss Haruno?” Tenzou asked after letting go of the straw of his cocktail, thankfully driving everyone’s attention away from Kakashi.

“For fuck’s sake, call her Sakura tonight, this is weird.” Genma shook his head at Tenzou, scowling.

Sakura’s eyes moved down to the wrapped box she held in her hands, her pink eyebrows slightly furrowed as she clearly tried to focus back again on the current situation. Knowing she’d been left distracted after seeing _him_ didn’t do any good to Kakashi’s peace of mind at the moment.

“Oh, yeah,” Sakura smiled again and handed Genma the box, taking a few steps back so that she’d stand between him and Kakashi and not have her back turned to anyone. “This is for you.”

“What?” Genma asked, his eyes wide as he stared at the wrapped gift on her hands. “Pink, you didn’t have to!”

“I know, I know, but I saw it at a store today and I just had to get it for you. It’s nothing, really.”

Kakashi arched one eyebrow at her as she looked back up at him after Genma took the gift from her hands, wasting no time before viciously ripping it open. Sakura flashed Kakashi a knowing smile before she looked back at Genma, clearly eager to see his reaction.

The red wrapping paper was impatiently thrown on the wooden table, completely destroyed, and it didn’t take long for Genma to successfully remove the duct tape and pull open the upper lid of the beige box, his eyes going wide as he caught sight of what was inside.

The thunderous laughter that escaped Genma’s mouth as he threw his head back was more than enough to feed Kakashi’s curiosity to see what was inside. He didn’t have to wonder for too long, thankfully, since Genma wasted no time before sticking a hand into the box and pulling out a burger-shaped mug from within.

“Holy fucking shit!” He nearly screamed, a huge grin still splattered on his face while he held the mug up for everyone to see. “This is the best fucking present I’ve ever gotten in my life.”

As Kakashi shook his head incredulously, completely unable to stop himself from chuckling, he knew it was true. In all the twenty years he’d known him, he’d never seen Genma react that well to a present.

“Fuck, Pink, this is awesome!” Genma grinned and placed the mug on the table.

“I’m really glad you liked it.” Sakura smiled, her right hand wrapped around her left wrist behind her back. “I hope it’ll help you cope with the absence of Rusty Kunai burgers there.”

“It’ll _definitely_ help. Fucking amazing, I loved it.” Genma nodded, beaming at her, and looked around the bar for a second. “I’m gonna go get a chair.”

“Wait.” Sakura raised a hand to stop him, her voice slightly lower in uncertainty. “Uh… You said there’d be lots of people here.”

“There are.” Genma pointed to the rest of the bar, crowded with strangers enjoying their Saturday night.

Kakashi swallowed the chuckle that fought to escape from his lips. _He_ was more than used to Genma’s sneakiness and knew exactly how much his friend played around words just to get away with unbelievable shit by saying he technically never lied.

It was just really fucking funny to watch Sakura learning it firsthand. 

“Hey, it’s ok!” Kurenai said, giving Sakura a warm smile. “No need to be shy. We’re cool, I promise, any friend of Genma’s is a friend of ours.”

Sakura opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out of it. She clearly hadn’t expected this and her uncertainty was almost painful to watch.

“You’ll get to see two of your professors completely trashed. Well, at least one of them.” Asuma indicated Tenzou with his hand. “He’s already nearly there, it’s really fun.”

All Tenzou did in response was nod, a loose smile playing on his lips just before his mouth missed the straw of his cocktail.

“And you can use _that_ to blackmail him on midterms.” Genma jokingly elbowed Sakura in the ribs.

“Oh, I don’t need blackmail,” the words escaped Sakura’s mouth reflexively and a blush immediately climbed up her face.

Kakashi couldn’t help but smile at that, just as his friends burst in laughter at her candour. He knew he’d been terribly silent ever since she’d arrived, not quite knowing how to behave in the situation, but he knew Sakura was damn right. In fact, he had spent the entire week looking forward to when he’d be able to grade her midterm, dying to see how she would answer the questions he’d come up with.

His expectations for her were high and he was sure she’d live up to them.

“Come on, Sakura, stay,” Kurenai said.

Kakashi knew the only reason she hadn’t confirmed anything yet was that she couldn’t properly look up at him to see how _he_ felt about it without making the motion obvious. Taking advantage of how all of his friends were staring either at their drinks or at Sakura’s face, Kakashi lightly glazed his hand against her wrist.

It didn’t go unnoticed to him how Sakura immediately tensed in response to his feathery touch and Kakashi would be lying if he said the feel of her sinfully soft skin against the knuckles of his fingers wasn’t enough to make him reflexively swallow—as it always did.

Regardless, Sakura understood what he meant to say and nodded at his friends, a huge smile playing on her lips.

“Ok, I’ll stay.”

They all cheered at her response and Genma immediately turned around, following through on his promise to get a chair.

“Now, you need a drink!” Gai thundered as he pointed at Sakura.

“She doesn’t have to drink unless she wants to,” Kakashi jumped in before Sakura could feel pressured to do anything she didn’t want to.

“I want to,” Sakura said, looking up at him with a faint smile on her lips. “I’ll go get me some wine.”

“About _that_ , Kakashi, where the fuck are our drinks?” Kurenai asked as Sakura started to turn around. “Weren’t you gonna get them?”

It was only then that Kakashi realised he’d forgotten the pints he’d ordered back at the counter. 

“Oh, I couldn’t order, it was too full of people,” he lied, scratching the back of his neck.

“Let’s go, then.” Sakura nodded in the direction of the counter and walked there before Kakashi could say anything, clearly knowing he would follow.

By the time they found a space good enough to fit the two of them—very tightly so, although Kakashi did his best not to think about it—the same bartender that had served him minutes before stopped in front of Sakura with a surprised expression on his face.

“Sakura. Didn’t think I'd see you here tonight,” he said, his lavender eyes cautiously studying her before moving over to Kakashi.

“Hey, Neji,” she politely greeted him. “Can I have a glass of Chardonnay, please?”

The guy nodded, his gaze thorough and intense enough to earn a scowl from Kakashi in return. 

“Where are my pints?” Kakashi asked him, meeting his steady gaze head-on.

“I threw them out.”

“That’s a waste.”

“You walked away.”

Kakashi was about to retort when Sakura cut him to the chase.

“Just give him his drinks, Neji, please.”

The guy walked away without another word but Kakashi knew his type well enough to know his mind hadn’t remained as quiet as his mouth.

“Stop thinking it.”

Kakashi peered curiously down at Sakura only to find her staring up at him with a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“You don’t know what I’m thinking,” he said, a smile of his own fighting its way onto his lips.

“He’s not that bad,” she replied, proving she indeed knew. “He’s my friend’s ex, so it’s pretty awkward. But he’s cool, really.”

Kakashi hummed, still not liking the guy any better. He watched as Neji deposited a wine glass with quite a generous amount of Chardonnay in front of Sakura, who didn’t waste any seconds before bringing it up to her lips and taking a sip as the bartender moved away to get the pints ready.

“You did know I was coming, right?” She asked as she brought the glass back to rest on the wooden surface, her fingers gently wrapped around its thin stem. 

Kakashi leaned against the counter at her words, his forearms flat against the wooden surface as he pressed his palms together. Turning his head to stare at her face, Kakashi smiled before answering.

“Genma asked if he could bring a friend and tried to be shady about it when we asked questions. That was enough for me to know it was you.”

Sakura gave a knowing nod, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“He’s pretty sneaky, isn’t he?” She asked. “I only came because he showed me your ‘sure’ message. I thought he made it clear it was me.”

Kakashi chuckled at that, letting his head hang between his shoulders for a second before glancing at her again.

“I wouldn’t have just said ‘sure’ if he’d said it was you.”

He watched as Sakura’s lips parted slightly in surprise before a faint blush took over her cheeks.

 _For fuck’s sake_ , he thought. _You fucking idiot, why did you drink at all?_

“That’s good to know,” she said after a moment, moving her eyes to meet his for the first time since she’d started that subject. “But I can go if you want, I don’t want to overstep.”

Kakashi shook his head but refrained himself from answering just then as Neji placed two full pints in front of him.

Be it as crazy as it may, Kakashi really wanted Sakura there. Regardless of the terrible things that could happen if his friends picked up on how much he truly knew Sakura, he really wanted to know what they’d think of her.

Even if Genma had stolen that particular milestone from him, Kakashi guessed it wouldn’t hurt to have his friends get to know Sakura—and inevitably adore her—before they knew what she meant to him.

“No. I want you to stay.”

His eyes were steady on her jade ones as she looked away from him with a soft smile on her lips.

“Ok.” She nodded, securing a strand of her pink hair behind her ear as she looked back at him. “I’ll stay, then.”

.

.

Sakura was tipsy. Two and a half glasses of Chardonnay later led that well familiar faint buzz to rush through her senses, her sweater quickly discarded onto her lap as her body temperature hit over-the-roof levels.

Regardless of any amount of wine she may have consumed, though, Sakura was certain a vast percentage of the heat spreading so intimately through her body had nothing to do with the alcohol and everything to do with how her thigh lightly pressed against Kakashi’s as she sat next to him on the bench.

By the time they’d walked back to the table with all of their drinks a couple of hours before, Genma had already positioned himself on the sole chair he’d placed on the narrow end of the booth, leaving Sakura to sit on the end of the bench with Kakashi settled between her and Professor Yamato. Not that she had any complaints to give regarding the current position of her leg, of course, but not knowing if she was the only one significantly sensitive to the place their bodies were connected was enough to drive Sakura slightly insane.

All in all, though, the presence at the table made it a little bit easier for Sakura to turn her mind away from that particular distraction. At first, she had been extremely self-conscious with the entire situation. Sakura just hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Kakashi wanting her there _meant_. 

Would his friends like her? Did he _want_ them to like her? Did they suspect anything was going on between the two of them?

 _Was_ there anything going on between the two of them?

As it turned out, though, all of his friends simply assumed Sakura was there as Genma’s friend and barely spared her and Kakashi a second glance. 

Even though the two of them had agreed on a mutual silent agreement of not showing how much they truly knew each other beyond the realms of their classroom, Sakura knew the way she and Kakashi would reflexively always look at each other first when bursting in laughter was just one of the little things that had become impossible for them to control.

Hopefully, his friends were way too drunk to notice any of them.

And there was another point to it. Even though she was sure Kakashi had drunk quite a few pints before she’d arrived, and Sakura herself had been drinking enough to get slightly tipsy, Kakashi hadn’t consumed a single drop of alcohol ever since she’d gotten there. Of course, the small voice inside her head simply wouldn’t stop telling Sakura all about how her presence was responsible for making Kakashi hold back on his alcohol, and she hated to think she was putting a damper on his night out with his friends.

Sakura really wouldn’t have minded getting to know drunk Kakashi. In fact, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t _dying_ to see what he was like when wasted. 

Still, though, she could hold on to the fact that Kakashi himself was visibly tipsy, just as she was. Sakura couldn’t help but smile amusedly every single time a lopsided, careless grin escaped his usually carefully composed face, causing her heart to clench a little bit too tightly in her chest to a point it was nearly painful.

Sakura couldn’t deny it. She was having _fun_. Back when she’d first sat down on that booth and nervously looked around at Kakashi’s friends, she’d been fucking terrified—and very rightfully so. Yet, they were nothing short of amazing, friendly, and nice enough to always make sure to include her in the conversation.

It turned out to be impossible to not feel welcomed by them.

And without even knowing, Kakashi’s friends had ended up telling Sakura _so much_ about him. She had learned little things about him Sakura had absolutely no idea when she’d actually get to know about if she had to wait for Kakashi to say the words—if he _ever_ would. For instance, there was no way of knowing when Kakashi would find it appropriate to tell Sakura anything about how he had been _fifteen_ when he’d started university.

Not even _Shikamaru_ had started uni at fifteen. Of course, that was strictly due to his extreme laziness and zero motivation to work hard towards anything he considered bothersome, but _still_ , it was surprising. 

Sakura just couldn’t help but wonder what else she didn’t know about the man sitting next to her.

As she worked on finishing what was left of her third glass of wine, Sakura found herself yearning for some time alone with Kakashi. She had been having a tremendous amount of fun at the table for the past couple of hours but having to pretend she didn’t know Kakashi as much as she did was becoming more bothersome with each passing minute. 

She just wanted a few minutes in which she could laugh and talk to Kakashi without having to keep a tight check on all of her words and movements, carefully avoiding any situations that would lead any of his friends to become suspicious of anything.

Not that they had anything to be suspicious _about_ , of course.

Sakura spent about five minutes not listening to a single word being said on the table, her brain going through all of the things she could possibly do to efficiently communicate with Kakashi without anyone else noticing. 

She considered touching his thigh with her hand under the table to let him know she wanted to step outside but quickly brushed the idea away as a flush of heat climbed up to her face, an unfortunate result of the thought of actually bringing her hand anywhere near Kakashi’s thigh.

“You ok, Sakura?” Kurenai asked, her crimson eyes sparkling with curiosity as she watched her.

“Uh?” Sakura tried to keep her cool as everyone around the table turned to stare at her. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re a lot redder now than you were a few seconds ago.”

“Oh,” Sakura chuckled, a loose smile taking form on her lips. “Yeah, maybe I should go outside for a bit.”

With everyone on the table watching her, it took every ounce of strength for Sakura to keep herself from glancing at Kakashi as she swung her legs to the side of the bench and stood up, leaving the sweater bundled up where she’d been sitting. 

She could only hope he’d find a way to meet her outside.

 _The man is a genius, he’ll figure it out,_ she thought and immediately smiled as a result.

“Want some company?” Genma asked.

When Sakura looked down to face him, though, she noticed he was glancing expectantly at Kakashi. 

Once again, Genma turned out to _excel_ in the arts of subtleness. It had gotten to the point that Sakura couldn’t help but wonder whether he did it on purpose.

Thankfully, though, Sakura was relieved from the obligation of answering when Asuma stood up from the opposite bench with his hand already fishing a carton of cigarettes from his back pocket.

“Anyone care to join in? Free cigarettes,” he asked his friends, a grin playing on his lips.

“It’s amazing how you still keep trying,” Kurenai said, staring up at her husband with amused eyes.

“Well, one day someone will say yes.” 

“Ha, no, we won’t!” Gai shook his head profusely. “You’re killing your youth with that poison.”

“What _youth_ , Gai?” Professor Yamato slurred, making Sakura purse her lips to stop herself from laughing. “We’re nearly forty, just face it.”

“Ok, better head out before they start this.” Asuma pointed at his friends with his thumb as he turned to Sakura. “Trust me.”

Finding herself with no further arguments to keep stalling, Sakura turned around and expertly made her way through the Saturday night crowd of the Rusty Kunai. They faced a momentary stall when reaching the front door, but having to interrupt a couple as they made out against it had also turned out to become one of those situations that didn’t make Sakura hesitate even in the slightest anymore after one year working at the Rusty Kunai. 

As she grabbed the now free doorknob and turned it, Sakura blamed the three glasses of wine she’d had for how much she wished _she_ could be the one pressed against that door with Kakashi’s hard body pinning her there.

The cool air of the last night of Winter did wonders to straighten Sakura’s mind and root her back to the ground, making the thoughts of Kakashi and the door thankfully ease up on her a little bit. 

It wasn’t long before she and Asuma found themselves a spot a few steps away from a group of rowdy students standing in a circle, all of them far too drunk to be allowed back into the bar but having the time of their lives playing Ultimate Ninja on the sidewalk.

“Want one?”

Sakura glanced up at Asuma and saw he had his pack of cigarettes raised in her direction, one of the white tabs already positioned between his lips as he waited for her answer.

“No, thanks.” She smiled up at him, shaking her head.

He quickly put the pack back in his pocket and pulled out his lighter from it, turning to the side to light the cigarette up in a way that slightly reminded Sakura of Shikamaru. 

“Will the smoke bother you?”

“No, it’s fine, thanks. The wind is facing the other way.”

Out of all the scenarios Sakura had played out in her head of how her going outside could possibly turn out like, none of them included her standing alone with Asuma on the sidewalk. Even though she’d spent the past couple of hours sitting across him in the booth, it’s not like she had anything to _say_ to him.

From what she could see, though, he wasn’t too bothered by the silence. Asuma seemed to be doing just fine enjoying his cigarette without having to bother with conversation, and Sakura tried to convince herself the situation wasn’t weird.

Except that it was. At least for her.

She was just about to come up with an excuse that would allow her to go back inside, resigned that it was better to have her thigh lightly pressed against Kakashi’s than to stand outside with one of his friends when the light from inside the Rusty Kunai invaded the sidewalk as the door was thrown open.

Sakura had known it was Kakashi stepping out of the bar before her eyes moved to prove her right. 

And indeed they did.

With Asuma’s back turned to the door and him not paying her any attention, Sakura didn’t need to stop herself from watching as Kakashi surveyed the crowd of people, both silver eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration until his eyes landed on her. And when they did, she couldn’t have smiled even if she’d wanted to. 

The sheer intensity in Kakashi’s gaze made Sakura completely unable to stop watching as he made his way to her, his movements smooth and eyes fixed on hers as if there was nothing else in the world he could possibly look at. 

Sakura felt her own lips parting slightly as she took a shaky breath, her posture stiffening in response to the raw attraction she felt towards him. Her thighs discreetly pressed against one another as she poorly tried to release some of the tension that had been torturously pooling there throughout the night. 

Of course, it didn’t help at all.

“Decided to come out?” Asuma asked Kakashi as he came to a stop next to them.

“They’re still going at it inside.” Kakashi moved one of his hands out of his pocket and pointed one of his thumbs in the direction of the bar. “No amount of alcohol will ever make me want to sit through that shit.”

“And here I was thinking it’d be safe to go back after I’m done,” Asuma chuckled, taking another drag of his cigarette.

 _No more drinking tonight_ , Sakura lectured herself, knowing damn well she had drunken just enough glasses of wine to make her hornier—and braver—than she should be. Moving her eyes down to the concrete sidewalk beneath her feet, Sakura tried her best not focus on how fucking delicious Kakashi’s scent was as it reached her nostrils.

At that moment, Sakura became grateful for Asuma’s presence. As much as she would kill to be alone with Kakashi, she truly feared what she might do if there was no one around to force her to behave.

Even though Sakura did her very best to not allow her body to physically react to his proximity, she couldn’t help but let her eyes move along as Kakashi moved to stuff one of his hands into the front pocket of his jeans, only then noticing her red sweater clutched in his other one.

“Is that… my sweater?” She stupidly asked, as if she needed any confirmation for it.

“Yeah,” he answered, looking down first at the sweater and then at her. “I thought you could get cold.”

Before she could say anything, Kakashi moved his eyes to look at Asuma and arched one sharp, silver eyebrow. Sakura followed suit only to find Asuma frowning at the situation happening in front of him.

“What?” Kakashi asked, his tone a touch more sharp than it’d been before.

“Nothing.” Asuma took another drag of his cigarette. “I’ve just never seen you do that before.”

“Do _what_?”

“ _That_.” Asuma nodded his chin at the sweater clutched in Kakashi’s hand.

Before Kakashi could say anything else and worsen the situation, Sakura reached out with her arm and opened her hand.

“Thank you,” she said as he handed her the sweater, keeping her tone as impersonal and polite as she would keep it if Asuma had been the one to bring her her sweater. “That’s really nice of you.”

Thankfully, the entire situation vanished after her interference. Still, that didn't ease Sakura's nerves at all. She was sure Asuma had only dropped it because he didn't want to bring it up in front of her, and the last find she and Kakashi needed was for any of his friends to suspect anything. 

As the next few minutes went by, Sakura honestly couldn’t focus on the conversation the two men were having, settling with contributing to it with neutral comments whenever it seemed suitable while doing her very best to keep her mind as blank as possible. It would do her absolutely no good to focus on any aspect of the situation at hand—be it how horny she was, how Asuma had most likely picked up on something, or how _Kakashi had brought her her sweater_.

Of course, any ounce of self-control she’d tried to hold on to went to shit as soon as she caught sight of the couple who’d been making out inside as they walked out of the bar and made their way to the dark alleyway behind the Rusty Kunai.

Sakura’s hands tightened around the sweater she held in them as her mind flooded with mental images of what it would be like to sneak out in the same way with Kakashi. How it would feel like to have his strong hands tugging, pulling, _grabbing_ her hair, her waist, her _clothes_ , his hot breath on her neck causing uncontrollable shivers to go down her body while his thigh pressed strongly against her…

“Yosh! Are we moving the party outside?”

The sound of Gai’s thunderous voice mercifully allowed her to snap out of it, the new distraction allowing her to release some of the tension that had gathered on her shoulders and unclench the tight hold on her sweater. 

Still, she wasn’t quite ready to form any coherent words as the tall man stepped between Asuma and Kakashi, forcing Sakura to take a few steps to the side so the four of them would stand on a full circle.

“I was just about to go back in, actually,” Asuma said, throwing the bud of his cigarette on the floor and earning a slight scowl from Sakura in return—not that he’d seen it. “I’m getting thirsty again. Anyone coming?”

“It’s way too hot inside.” Kakashi shook his head. “I need more time out here.”

“Yeah, me too.” Sakura nodded as she finally got her shit together enough to speak. “I need a break from the noise.”

“Don’t you work here?” Gai asked, shooting a white grin down at her. “Aren’t you used to it?”

“I learned to tune it out to work.” Sakura shrugged and smiled in return. “But I’m not getting paid to put up with it now.”

Asuma chuckled at her answer and pointed at both Sakura and Kakashi with his hands.

“I’ll order the guacamole dip, then. Agreed?”

Sakura saw Kakashi nodding in her peripheral vision and she followed right suit, trying to look as if she had any idea what the fuck they were talking about. Asuma nodded and offered them a short wave before turning around and making his way back to the bar.

“What was that?” Gai asked, looking expectantly at Kakashi.

“We were trying to figure out what to order for the table before the kitchen closes.”

“Yosh!” Gai clapped his hands once and shot them another one of his grins. “You made a great choice, Kakashi, of course! It’s been ages since I’ve had guacamole dip.”

“That’s great, Gai.” Kakashi nodded at his friend. “The wait ends today.”

“Kakashi, you are the greatest friend a man could ever have.”

“Okay.”

Even though Sakura was completely helpless against the urge to grin at their interaction, she did everything she could to hide it from them as it broke through her lips.

“Sakura, do you have a best friend slash eternal rival?” Gai asked, both hands resting against his own hips.

“Do I have a _what_?” Both eyebrows rose high on her forehead.

“You do not!” He shook his head. “What a shame! There is no better way to make sure you always keep striving to improve yourself if you don’t have an equal genius to compete against!”

Sakura felt it as her lips parted in an incredulous smile.

“Is _he_ your best friend slash eternal rival?” Sakura asked, pointing at Kakashi with her index finger.

“But, of course, he is!” Gai beamed. “I knew we were meant to push each other for greatness from the moment we met!”

“Oh, _wow_.” Sakura smiled, at last looking over at Kakashi from where he stood to her right, desperate to see what his face looked like at the moment.

What she saw was enough to trigger the laughter she’d been burying deep in her chest ever since the man with the green vest joined them. She’d expected to see something like anger or exasperation in Kakashi’s features, but the sheer resignation stamped in his eyes as he stared straight ahead made Sakura completely lose her composure.

If she’d had to guess, Kakashi had been dealing up with that kind of speech for the past twenty years and had already given up trying to smother the blatant enthusiasm his friend had towards him.

Sakura was just about to ask more question about the so-called ‘rivalry in chase of greatness’—for fuck’s sake, she _needed_ to know more—when the sound of Genma’s voice made all of them turn their heads in its direction.

“Gai, there you are!”

“Yes, here I am.” Gai nodded before beaming down at Genma. “Join us, join us. We’re discussing mine and Kakashi’s legendary rivalry.”

“Of course you are,” Genma said as he came to a stop between Sakura and Gai, completing the circle as he stood in front of Kakashi. “As fascinating as _that_ is, you owe me an arm-wrestling match. Weren’t you bugging me about it a few hours ago? Well, let’s go.”

“Aha!” Gai pointed at Genma. “You’ve finally let cowardice fall behind you! Good for you, Shiranui! I’ll completely destroy you, you should be ready for that.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see.” Genma motioned his head to the direction of the bar. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Right now? But I’m here with…”

“What? Scared, Gai?”

A thunderous laugh escaped Gai’s mouth at Genma’s words.

“Fear is not part of my vocabulary, Shiranui. Maito Guy does not g…”

“Come on, then, better out of fifteen.” Genma interrupted him, raising both eyebrows suggestively. “We’ll see who wins.”

Gai didn’t even glance at Sakura and Kakashi before marching back to the Rusty Kunai with newfound purpose, but Genma lingered behind for a few seconds as if he needed the time to convince his body to follow his friend inside.

“ _Fifteen_? What the hell are you doing? Why would you put yourself through _that_?” Kakashi shook his head, looking at his friend incredulously. “He’ll never let you hear the end of it.”

“Just thank me later.” Genma looked back at them and winked. “I’ll make sure no one realises you’re gone.”

Her lips parted in shock at Genma’s words, her eyes widening in its sockets as she tried to come up with an appropriate reaction.

Genma took advantage of their stunned silence to walk away before any of them could say anything. It amazed Sakura that she didn’t have to see his face to know he had a smirk splattered on it as he made his way back inside.

“For fuck’s sake,” Kakashi exclaimed a few seconds later, brushing a hand roughly over his face. “I’m so sorry, Sakura, I swear I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“It’s ok,” she said, but Kakashi was too exasperated to listen.

“I swear sometimes I think he’s never grown past fifteen. It’s fucking unbelievable.” He shook his head, his eyes looking at everything that wasn’t Sakura. “Come on, let’s go back inside.”

Kakashi turned around and started to walk away before Sakura could even answer. The strain on his shoulders made it possible for her to guess he had both hands closed into tight fists inside his jeans’ pockets.

“Wait, Kakashi, I don’t want to.”

If he hadn’t stopped walking, Sakura would’ve thought her words hadn’t reached him at all. He did stop, though, and slowly turned around to face her.

Sakura’s breath hitched in her throat as her eyes finally locked on his charcoal ones. Even though she’d been getting better at reading his expression at certain times, at that moment there was no way Sakura could have even tried to guess what was going on inside his head.

“I want to stay out here,” she said again, surprised at the steadiness in her voice.

Kakashi watched her in absolute silence, his eyes never wavering from hers. Any distraction Gai had provided from the thoughts she’d been having about Kakashi evaporated as she met his stare with equal intensity, her heartbeat picking up considerably with each passing second he didn’t say anything.

“You can go inside if you want to,” she said, even though she could see it in his eyes that he did not.

“I don’t.”

His voice was considerably lower than it’d been before and Sakura couldn’t help but shiver at the sound of it.

Sakura knew she stood right before a turning point in their relationship. There were two options ahead of them: they’d either spend some time alone outside and see where it took them or they’d play it safe and go back to their booth, where they were morally obligated to watch their behaviour in front of his friends.

Any other evening Sakura would have probably chosen the second option, the anxiety of doing _anything_ with Kakashi—regardless of how much she had been _desperate_ for him for the past few weeks—taking the best of her.

But not tonight.

Tonight, Sakura was able to for once shut that small part of her that was scared of what might happen if she took the step she’d desperately yearned to. 

She’d never been this attracted to anyone else in her entire life and she was _done_ running from it.

Just as she was about to speak again, though, one of the wasted students playing Ultimate Ninja in the circle a few steps away jumped back as one of his friends aimed for his feet. Sakura was quick to give a step back away from where he would have inevitably bumped into her and watched as the guy lost his balance, falling down on his ass where she’d been standing.

Sakura’s instinct kicked in and she quickly studied the guy with her eyes to see if he’d gotten hurt—of course, he hadn’t. In fact, she’d been so absorbed with it she nearly jumped when Kakashi’s voice spoke from a lot closer than he’d last been.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Her head snapped up and found him standing right next to her, his eyes steady and certain as he looked down at her.

All Sakura could do was nod, all of the hysterical laughter coming from the group of students becoming faint background noise as she got lost in the promises held in Kakashi’s dark eyes.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked.

“We could sit down,” she said, her voice slightly catching in her throat. Sakura gave a gentle cough to clear it before she finished speaking. “Somewhere.”

“There’s a bench down there.” He motioned his head in the direction of the very empty street behind Sakura’s back.

She nodded again, aware of exactly what bench he was talking about, and together both she and Kakashi fell into step next to each other. 

Leaving the Rusty Kunai fall behind them, they crossed the street to reach the other sidewalk. It wasn’t long before the wooden bench became visible to Sakura, her stomach curling in delicious anxiety as her eyes fell upon it.

As far as benches went, Sakura guessed it wasn’t necessary to follow any sort of guidelines as to where to place them. Still, every single time she’d ever walked past this one had led her to wonder why the hell they’d placed it almost on the end of that street, just around the corner. That bench was famous for being a hazard for tripping accidents, which made total sense considering where it was located.

Still, at that moment, Sakura was fucking grateful for whoever put that bench there. It was far away enough from the Rusty Kunai so that no one standing on the busy sidewalk could really see it, and the risk of anyone walking those streets at nearly two in the morning was almost non-existent.

Fucking perfect.

“Are we training later today?” She asked as she sat down at the mid- to far end of the bench.

“You mean in four hours?” Kakashi shot back with a grin playing on his lips as he sat down next to her. “I’m in if you are.”

“Hmm,” Sakura hummed as if she were deep in thought. “We’ll see, we’ll see.”

Kakashi chuckled, slouching slightly down the bench and raising his arm so it’d rest over the backrest of the bench. Sakura knew his fingers must be close enough he could touch her if he wanted to and that thought alone made Sakura take a steadying breath before she could speak again.

“Your friends are really cool,” she said, turning her head to the side so she could see his face.

Kakashi looked at her in return, one silver eyebrow raised slightly in his forehead as the beginning of a grin tugged at the right corner of his lips.

“They are.” He nodded, watching her with a look she couldn’t quite decipher. “They like you.”

“How do you know? Maybe they’re just being polite.”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “I can tell.”

Sakura hummed, nodding her head slightly.

“That’s great,” she said at last. “I was nervous.”

“Yeah, I was, too.” He turned his head back ahead to look at the other side of the street.

Sakura allowed herself to study his profile for a moment, taking in the sharp cut of his jawline and straight line of his nose. It honestly shouldn’t be legal for anyone to look that handsome from a profile perspective.

As her sweater started to slip off of her lap, though, Sakura was forced to look down to catch it before it fell.

“So, fifteen, hm?” She asked as she laid the sweater next to her on the bench, to the side farthest away from Kakashi. “So you _are_ a genius.”

“Mm,” he hummed. “That’s open for discussion.”

“ _Is_ it, though?” She gave Kakashi a knowing smile as he turned his head to look at her again. “I’ll bring it up with Gai later, I can’t wait to hear what he thinks.”

Kakashi chuckled at her words, shaking his head slowly as his eyes studied her face.

“Actually, go ahead,” he said. “I’d love to see you trying to put an end to it.”

Sakura giggled, crossing one leg over the other as she turned her head straight ahead to look at the other sidewalk.

“You do know a lot more about me than I do about you after tonight,” Kakashi said, causing her to look once again at him. “That’s really unfair.”

“Kakashi, I know _nothing_ about you.” Sakura smiled. “Other than what I’ve learned for myself, of course.”

“Oh, yeah?” His eyebrows arched amusedly in his forehead. “And what _did_ you learn?”

Sakura grinned as she shook her head slowly at him. 

Over the past months, she had gotten to get to know a side of Kakashi she’d never, ever expected to exist. Every single time they’d met since the day they’d stood together in line at the winter festival had provided Sakura with tiny peeks into who Hatake Kakashi truly was, pleasantly surprising her in each turn.

She wasn’t about to tell him anything about it, though. Sakura may be feeling bold and ready for further steps to be taken, but delving into any personal thoughts she held towards Kakashi would bring her dangerously close to letting him know just how emotionally invested she had become in him.

And _that_ couldn’t happen. 

“Ask me again another time,” she said at last. “I’m still conducting my research.”

Kakashi hummed, his eyes intense as he studied her own almost as if he were actually trying to break into her mind and read her thoughts. 

Sakura held his stare for a few seconds before she looked away into the street that led to the Rusty Kunai, taking a deep but shallow breath to steady herself.

“What’s on your mind?”

It felt almost sinful to speak at a normal volume when they were sitting in such a peaceful and silent place, so Sakura knew the low tone of Kakashi’s voice shouldn’t be able to affect her as much as it did.

Still, Sakura had been completely unable to stop herself from clenching her thighs tighter together at the sound of it. 

Pushing those thoughts away _—_ but not _that_ far away—Sakura took a few seconds to reangle her body so she was now sitting on her side with her left leg folded on the bench’s wooden surface, facing Kakashi completely. 

“I was wondering why you wanted me to stay tonight,” she finally answered his question, her eyes locking on his.

Kakashi didn’t answer immediately. In fact, Sakura was sure he must be going through every possible answer he could give her and trying to see which would be best for her to know, just like she was sure she would if the tables were turned.

“I was curious.”

The words slipped out of his mouth after what she _knew_ had been careful consideration. It shook Sakura to her very core to know Kakashi had still said those three little words even after cautiously thinking them through.

What _hadn’t_ he said?

Sakura’s eyes dropped to where his hand rested over the backrest of the bench and she was proven right. The knuckles of Kakashi’s fingers were _so_ close to her arm he wouldn’t even need to move them too much before he could make contact with her skin. 

Moving her eyes away from his fingers and back to his face, Sakura wasn’t surprised to find him cautiously studying her. Kakashi was obviously well aware of what was going through Sakura’s mind, and, if she had to guess, he was probably trying to figure out what she wanted him to do—either move his fingers away from her or do the bare minimum to close the distance.

Trying to make it easier for him, Sakura raised her left arm so her elbow rested on the wooden backrest, her skin now only a mere hair width away from his long fingers.

“Curious about what?” She asked, her voice a lot breathier than she was used to.

Sakura didn’t dare move as Kakashi moved his eyes to the spot where they were nearly touching and then back to search her eyes for a moment before dropping his gaze to her lips.

Her breath hitched in her throat and Sakura felt her lips part, desperately wishing she could cross her legs to try to achieve some degree of relief from the dull throb between her thighs, now seemingly pulsing along with the rhythm of her heartbeat, without making it obvious. 

Since discretion was impossible to be reached with one of her legs folded on the seat of the bench, Sakura settled for pressing her nails hard into the soft skin of the palm of her own hand, hoping for the pain to dissipate some of the tension in her body.

It didn’t.

“Sakura…” Kakashi said as he moved his eyes back up to her eyes, his fingers still frozen to their spot.

“Yes?”

Kakashi let out a low, throaty chuckle as he dropped his head slightly for a moment as if desperately begging for whatever superior entity there might be to send him the strength to survive that moment.

“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” He asked, raising his head again to look at her.

Sakura’s tongue darted out to softly wet her suddenly dry lips as her eyes locked with his now half-lidded charcoal ones.

“I don’t know what answer you want me to give you,” she said as she allowed herself to drop her own gaze down to his lips for a moment. 

They looked soft just as much as they looked firm and it took an enormous amount of effort for Sakura to move her eyes away from them and back up to his eyes.

“What are my options?” Kakashi asked in return, his voice lower and with a husky note to it that hadn’t been there before. 

“I can tell you I’ve never realised both of us want to take a step we’re well aware we shouldn’t,” Sakura let her voice drag slightly over the last word, the silk sultriness of her voice surprising even her. “That I haven’t been having thoughts I know damn well I shouldn’t, and that you don’t drive me completely insane. Or I can tell you the truth.”

Kakashi’s body had been visibly still as a statue as he’d listened to the words coming out of Sakura’s mouth. At that moment, she knew she’d taken a step that couldn’t be reversed. Now, all there was left to do was wait to see what he’d do. 

A shaky breath fought its way into Sakura’s lungs as the knuckles of Kakashi’s fingers lightly brushed against the skin of her forearm over the backrest of the bench, her eyes closing reflexively at the feathery touch she was so deliciously sensitive to.

“And what’s the truth?” 

Sakura allowed her eyes to open again as she felt a coy smile tugging at the corners of her lips, the raw intensity in Kakashi’s charcoal eyes and the husky note to his tone more than enough incentive for her to finish what she’d stated.

“The complete opposite of what I said.”

As Sakura held her breath in anticipation for Kakashi’s next move, with her heart thumping so hard inside her chest that it echoed loudly in her ears, her mind was strangely calm. It felt almost as if her entire self, both mind and soul, had simply put a stop to any function they might hold in fear that any movement of any kind had the potential of ruining the moment.

And what a fucking _amazing_ moment it was. 

“Sakura…” Kakashi said again.

She wasn’t sure whether it was a warning or encouragement she picked up in his tone, but if she had to bet money on it, she’d say it was both.

“You’re sitting too far, I can’t hear you,” Sakura said, her lips curling into a bold smile as she softly laughed.

“For fuck’s sake.” He slightly shook his head, a deliciously genuine smile breaking through his lips as he chuckled. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

Sakura giggled in return, well aware the tension between them hadn’t dissipated with the newly added laughs. She softly bit her lower lip in anticipation as Kakashi grew slightly bolder with his fingers, now gently doing circular motions on Sakura’s forearm with the back of his fingers.

“Are you still having trouble hearing me?” He asked, his half-lidded gaze once again dropping down to her lips for a moment.

“Sorry, I can’t hear a word you’re saying,” Sakura said while trying to keep a look of feigned innocence on her face, but desperately failing as a smile once again tugged at the corner of her lips.

The smile turned into a silent gasp as Kakashi slowly leaned into her, angling his body so that he was also facing her completely while still keeping both feet planted on the sidewalk. The arm leaning over the backrest of the bench was still there, although his fingers were now firmly resting on top of Sakura’s forearm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Her breath hitched in her throat as Kakashi brushed his nose ever so slightly over her cheek before moving over to her left ear, the air softly blowing over her skin and hair as he breathed causing a shiver to start at the base of Sakura’s neck and spread throughout her entire body.

“What about now?” He whispered, his tone so deep and low that Sakura closed her eyes at the sound.

“Better,” was all she managed to whisper in return, her chest heaving as she struggled to keep her breathing in check.

Kakashi hummed in response and Sakura had to bite down hard on her bottom lip to stop herself from whimpering. That hum she’d gotten to hear so many times before felt almost sinful when made directly against her ear, the deep, throaty sound hitting a spot inside of her that made her toes curl.

 _Fuck_ , she thought as Kakashi moved his nose down to the spot where her ear met her jaw and _inhaled_ , almost as if her scent was all the oxygen he needed at the moment.

“Uhum,” he grunted in return and it was only then that Sakura realised she’d spoken out loud. 

She heavily exhaled as Kakashi continued his path along her jaw, moving his face up so that he could softly brush his lips against her skin for the first time.

Once again, Sakura found out she’d been deliciously right before. His lips were simply the perfect balance between soft and firm, pressing against Sakura’s skin in such a way she was certain that if she died at that moment she’d die a happy woman. 

No, scratch that. 

Sakura couldn’t die before she got to find out _every single thing_ that mouth could do.

“Say the word and I’ll stop,” Kakashi whispered as he progressed more and more along her jaw, each second bringing him dangerously closer to her lips.

“Don’t you dare,” Sakura breathed out in return, the hand she had resting in the space between her folded leg closing in a tight fist. 

Her heart was just about to burst through her chest as Kakashi stopped his exploration of her jawline, bringing his head up and just a fraction away so he could look at her. 

Sakura wasn’t sure if she had ever been able to properly read what was going on inside Kakashi’s head as much as she did now, his half-lidded charcoal eyes burning with such raw intensity that Sakura felt her breath hitch in her throat.

He wanted her to move next. 

She wasn’t entirely sure of the reasons why, but maybe Kakashi wanted to be one hundred per cent sure Sakura wanted the same as he did, not wanting to cross that line unless she could meet him halfway to do it.

Fully agreeing this was something they should both step into with equal responsibility, Sakura unclenched the hand she had closed in a fist and raised it up so it’d rest on the side of his face. 

Kakashi’s eyes closed shut at the gentle contact of her hand against his cheek, his unexpected vulnerability causing Sakura to let out a shaky breath as she brushed her thumb against the beauty mark on the left side of his chin.

“Say the word and I’ll stop,” she whispered at him, making sure they were truly on the same page before anything else could happen.

“That’s the last thing I want,” he said in return while leaning forward ever so slightly, clearly as desperate for it as she was. 

Sakura was done dragging this on. Every single ounce of her body craved Kakashi and as soon as she got the verbal confirmation she needed, Sakura closed the short distance between them.

At first, their lips brushed against each other’s cautiously, their noses bumping as Sakura lowered her hand down to rest against his chest. There wasn’t a single thought going through Sakura’s mind as she let out a shaky breath, her body finally getting what she’d craved for so long.

Kakashi raised the hand he’d been keeping on her arm, his long fingers smoothly threading into the roots of her hair and forcing Sakura to swallow down a needy whimper as she desperately yearned for _more_.

Set on getting what she wanted, Sakura softly traced his lower lip with her tongue, proudly grinning into the kiss as Kakashi let out a groan in return.

He was quick to wipe away any trace of her smile, though, as he put his strategically positioned fingers to use and pulled her hair with _just_ the right amount of force, tilting Sakura’s head to the side and deepening their kiss.

A low appreciative hum escaped from Sakura’s lips at the feel of his tongue against hers and her fingers curled tightly around the fabric of his shirt, doing everything she could to shorten any distance left between them.

The heat that had pooled in her lower abdomen coiled to a point that it was nearly painful as Kakashi _growled_ , a nearly guttural sound that made Sakura’s toes curl inside her boots. 

She felt it as his other arm looped around her waist but nothing prepared Sakura for the practised expertise with which Kakashi pulled her over to him and turned his body so that his back rested against the backrest of the bench again. Not that Sakura would have needed any help with it in a regular situation, but her hazy mind deeply appreciated Kakashi for guiding her knees on either side of his legs before allowing her to settle down on his lap. 

She gave him a breathless smile as his hands moved up her thighs, immensely enjoying the sight of Kakashi’s slightly swollen lips as he studied her in return. The lopsided grin playing on his lips as his eyes moved up to hers was more than enough to make Sakura’s heart skip a beat. 

They were both still grinning when Kakashi leaned in and closed the distance between them, claiming Sakura’s mouth with his own once again. There wasn’t a single trace of shyness in their kiss at this point, their tongues wasting no time before finding each other and taking full advantage of the union.

This time, Sakura didn’t hold back the whimper that escaped her lips as Kakashi brought one of his hands up and threaded his fingers once again into the roots of her hair, having previously picked up on how much she fucking _loved_ it when he did that. 

Sakura brought both of her hands up to both sides of his neck, her right hand venturing farther into the back of it. She used her nails to scrape Kakashi’s skin with just enough pressure to feel him deliciously tensing up under her before threading her fingers on the soft roots on the nape of his neck.

“Fuck, Sakura,” he groaned deliriously against her mouth, the hand he'd left on her thigh moving up to her hip and grabbing it with bruising force as he deepened the kiss again.

Sakura couldn’t help but moan into his lips, fucking driving herself insane with the idea of finding that bruise later when she took out her clothes and knowing it hadn’t been a result of their training.

Kakashi groaned as Sakura pressed her chest closer to his, his hand moving from her hip and slipping beneath her shirt, splaying over the small of her back. Sakura was sure her skin felt as feverish to the touch as his did, his firm hands causing warm exhilaration to run through her entire body.

At the moment, there was nothing else in the whole world that mattered to Sakura as much as the feel of Kakashi’s lips of hers, his strong hands completely driving her insane as they made her yearn for _more_.

Sakura let out a disappointed sound as Kakashi lowered his hand from her hair. Chuckling into her lips in response, he slowly used said hand to move Sakura’s hair to her other shoulder before moving his lips down and nuzzling her jawline and neck, earning a gasp from Sakura as she tilted her head to give him a better angle. 

Sakura’s head spun with intense desire as he started placing open-mouthed kisses on her neck, and she bit down hard on her lower lip in a failed attempt to hold back the breathy gasp threatening to escape as he not-so-gently bit down on her flesh.

“Fuck,” Kakashi growled in her ear, making a shiver run down Sakura’s body. “If you had any idea what those noises are doing to me…”

“Hmm,” she hummed, the hand she hadn’t curled around the roots of his hair moving down his defined arm. “Why don’t you show me?”

Sakura couldn’t help but grin in response to the way he deeply stiffened at her invitation but any trace of her pride was suddenly replaced by a gasp as Kakashi pulled her roughly against him by the hips with a bruising grip.

She let out a needy " _fuck_ " at the undeniable bulge she felt under her thigh and reflexively rolled her hips against it, causing another shiver to run up her body as she did so.

Kakashi hissed in response and raised one hand to grab the back of Sakura’s neck, roughly pulling her back into another searing kiss.

Sakura eagerly melted into it, knowing she would only wait so long for Kakashi to suggest moving this into his place before she suggested it herself.

“And then, _BAM_ , you press X and triangle and you beat him! Just like that! Try it out, you'll see.”

For a second, Sakura swore she had hallucinated Naruto’s insanely loud voice coming from just around the corner.

“Naruto, I don’t play that game. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The sound of Shikamaru’s lower voice as he responded was faint, but it was enough for Sakura to accept they were very real and dangerously close.

Sakura immediately broke her kiss with Kakashi, pulling away from him so fast she only realised she had actually moved when she found herself standing straight on her feet. 

If it hadn’t been for the pure panic rushing through her veins, Sakura would have laughed at the blatant confusion stamped in Kakashi’s face, such a drastic change from his usual well-trained expressions. But all she did now was profusely shake her head at him, her eyes wide as she counted down the seconds until…

“Sakura-chan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even gonna say anything, I'll just sit and wait to see your reactions AHAHHAHAHAHA
> 
> love you guys! talk to you soon ;)
> 
> -A


	18. not so simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 15/01/2021  
> ...  
> ORIGINAL A/N  
> ok before you guys start this, I'd like to apologise for how long it took me to post this chapter. I'll talk more about it at the end of the chapter <3
> 
> hope you guys enjoy!

“Sakura-chan?”

Sakura stared at Kakashi for just a second more, long enough for her to see his eyes widening a fraction before returning to the well-controlled mask he always kept on. With her heart racing wildly inside her chest, she did everything she could to keep a normal expression on her face as she turned her head to stare at Naruto and Shikamaru.

“Oh, hey, guys,” Sakura said, her voice mercifully sounding normal and put together—or at least as much as it possibly could at the moment.

Judging from the huge width of his grin, Naruto didn’t seem to notice anything off with the situation, at least not at first. Sakura watched as he turned to his side to see whether Shikamaru was as wildly happy with the surprise encounter as he was, and it was only then that Sakura looked over at her best friend.

And, of course, she had no shadow of a doubt Shikamaru knew _exactly_ what was going on.

“This is _awesome_!” Naruto looked back at Sakura, the grin not even slightly faltering. “First I run into Shikamaru and now _you_! And...”

Sakura was just beginning to work out some kind of damage control plan when Naruto finally looked over at where Kakashi still sat on the bench and immediately stopped talking. She watched as her friend’s mouth dropped open and his eyebrows rose up in his forehead as he stared at the silver-haired man as if he’d just seen a ghost.

“ _Kakashi_?”

Sakura immediately frowned, unable to believe she’d heard it right. But she _had_. All she could do was watch as Kakashi stood up, stuffing both hands into the front pockets of his jeans, and turned to face the blond guy.

“Yo, Naruto.”

“Wait, _for real_?” Naruto's eyes widened even more, which Sakura had previously judged to be impossible. “Holy shit, this is awesome! Does my dad know you’re back?”

 _Back?_ Sakura thought, doing everything she could to keep the surprise and confusion away from her face.

Sakura watched Kakashi’s profile as he nodded in response to Naruto’s question, the angle they were standing on making it impossible for her to try to study his expression. Finally turning her head around to stare at Shikamaru once again, Sakura was desperate to see if her friend was seeing anything she was missing. 

She had no idea whether she should be relieved or not that all she could see stamped in the angular shape of Shika’s raised eyebrow was confusion.

“Well, you could’ve called us, you know?” Naruto crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows at Kakashi, adding a billion more questions into Sakura’s head. She knew Naruto was about to delve more into whatever the hell _that_ was about when he suddenly looked at her, a curious glint shining in his blue eyes as he studied her. “Wait, how do you guys know each other?”

Sakura felt her eyes widen fractionally at being put on the spot like that, and she was just about to blurt out some generic excuse when Shika cut her to the chase.

“I heard the bar is closing earlier today, Naruto, you should hurry if you want that ramen,” his tone drawled as he lied.

“What? Why?” Naruto turned to stare at his friend. “When?”

Shikamaru shrugged, making Naruto groan and turn to stare at Sakura with a questioning look.

“It won’t be long now, I know they’ll close the kitchen before 2:15,” she lied as well, praying they weren’t too far from that time. 

“ _What_! That’s in, like, ten minutes!” Naruto’s eyes widened as he checked his phone. “No, five! Fuck!”

The next few seconds consisted of Naruto clearly freaking out. He first threw another uncertain glance at Kakashi, his blue eyes not even bothering to disguise any of the unresolved feelings and assumptions he held towards the man as he put his phone back in his pocket, and then looked over at where the Rusty Kunai stood on the far end of the street.

The very loud and definite rumble coming from Naruto’s stomach was enough to make him place his hands on his belly, an easy-going grin reflexively taking form on his lips. 

“Oof, I better go take care of this, then,” Naruto chuckled but then looked at Kakashi again. “Uh…”

“I’ll be going back inside too,” Kakashi said and Sakura did everything she could to not look at him then.

A sliver of Naruto’s uncertainty seemed to vanish at that and he seemed happy enough with Kakashi’s answer to send him an even cheekier grin.

“Ok, that’s cool! See you guys inside, then.”

With that, Naruto took off with a slightly faster-paced walk, not bothering to wait for the lot of them when his ramen was at stake. Sakura turned her head to watch him walk away, her mind tossing and turning in an attempt to make any sense of what had just happened and miserably failing. 

As she turned around again, her eyes first landed on Shikamaru.

“Thanks for that.” Her voice was almost a whisper, the awkwardness of the situation making it sound inappropriate to speak normally.

Shikamaru, who had also been watching Naruto walk away with both of his eyebrows slightly furrowed, tore his eyes from their blond friend and met Sakura’s stare, apparently only then realising he’d been left alone with her and Kakashi.

“I’ll just walk away now,” he drawled and wasted no time before following up on his promise and following Naruto.

Sakura didn’t immediately turn to stare at Kakashi, neither did she turn to watch Shika walk away. Instead, she remained rooted to her spot, not daring to move just yet. Her heart was still beating like crazy inside her chest, her mind desperately trying to catch up with everything that had happened in the past two minutes, and she focused on the sound of Shika’s sneakers hitting the wet pavement as he walked further and further away to ground herself.

She had no idea where she should even _begin_. Every time her brain settled on one aspect of the interaction she’d just witnessed, on one of the _billions_ of questions she had, or on what she and Kakashi had been _doing_ before her friends found them, her mind just short-circuited and made it impossible for her to think.

“How do you know Naruto?” Sakura heard the words leaving her mouth before she’d processed them.

Sakura counted three heartbeats before Kakashi answered.

“Really? You decide to focus on _that_ and not on how we almost got caught?”

At that, Sakura finally turned to stare at Kakashi, only to find him cautiously watching her in return. There was no telling what was going on inside of his head but Sakura could see on his face that he at least wasn’t angry.

“That was really stupid, wasn’t it?” She sighed, referring to what he’d just deemed to be more important, and weaved one of her hands through her hair in an attempt to calm herself.

“It really was,” he said in return, his tone carrying a tired resignation to it.

“I’m sorry.”

Kakashi frowned at her as soon as he heard those two words come out of her mouth and Sakura fought to not move her eyes away from his.

“I’m the one who should apologise, Sakura, not you.”

“Of course not.” Sakura shook her head at him, not sure what to do with her hands. “I’m the one who asked to stay outside, I’m the one that started…” Her voice faltered before the word ‘flirting’ could leave her mouth but she knew Kakashi knew what she was going to say.

“I wanted it as much as you did and I let it happen even though I shouldn’t have.”

“Can we split the blame, then?” Sakura asked, a shaky smile taking form on her lips.

Kakashi chuckled at that, the corners of his own lips slightly tugging upwards.

“We shouldn’t take too long to go back,” was the only thing he said in return as he looked at where the bar stood on the far end of the street and Sakura knew he still fully blamed himself for what’d just happened.

She decided against saying anything about it at the moment, though, settling for nodding at him and turning to stare at the empty street that led up to the bar. Her peripheral vision caught Kakashi start to move in its direction and her body instinctively followed suit. 

Before they’d taken even two steps, though, she realised Kakashi was holding her sweater in his hand when she’d pretty much forgotten all about it. Sakura took it from him with a tiny smile on her lips and was thankful for finally having something to do with her hands.

Both of them fell into step next to each other again, with Kakashi slowing down his pace so he’d match her. Even though Sakura knew the night had been ruined and they definitely needed to figure some things out, she was relieved to realise Kakashi also wasn’t hurrying to make his way back to the bar. Maybe that meant he was just as reluctant to end their time together as she was.

“Can you tell me where you know Naruto from?” Sakura asked then, gathering all of the courage she had in her body to do so. She already had an idea in her mind and she knew that if she was right, this wasn’t a subject Kakashi was very fond of.

Kakashi didn’t seem surprised at her question. It did take him a few seconds before he finally answered her but Sakura hadn’t doubted he would.

“His father was my direct Commander in the army. My teammates and I didn’t have any places of our own in Konoha and we used to stay at his place whenever we had a break and came back to the city, so I kind of saw the kid grow up for a few years.”

Sakura’s heart, which had just started to finally settle down to a normal beating rate, slightly picked up speed again as she’d had her suspicions proven right. She remembered how Naruto used to _love_ it when his father’s subordinates stayed over at his place and how he used to go on and on about how utterly _cool_ they were. She had listened to his fanboy praises so often when they started being friends almost a decade before, never paying much attention to any of the details, but it was impossible for her to forget how badly Naruto had taken it when two of them were killed in combat.

“You’re not as surprised as I thought you’d be.”

Kakashi’s words brought Sakura back to the present and made her realise she hadn’t even slightly reacted to his confession. 

“Sorry,” she said. “I remember hearing about you. I swear the three of you were all Naruto could talk about for a while there. I never paid much attention, though, so I didn’t know your names… Just that one of you was Sasuke’s cousin.”

It didn’t go unnoticed by Sakura how Kakashi stiffed at the mention of the Uchiha. She knew he’d been the first one to die, even though she didn’t remember how any of it had happened. She wasn’t sure whether even _Naruto_ knew, all she remembered was that there’d been a huge _hush-hush_ policy around the two teammates’ deaths.

Sakura had almost gone to the joint funeral to support her friend when it happened, almost ten years before. Both Naruto and Sasuke had gone, even though the blond had been considerably more affected by the deaths than Sasuke had, regardless of one of the two victims being a part of his family or not. Sakura remembered how much she'd wanted to go but she was only around twelve at the time and her parents didn't want her attending strangers' funerals when she was so young. 

She couldn’t help but wonder if she would have met Kakashi there if she’d gone.

“Anyways,” she carried on, desperate to steer the conversation away from what was clearly a terrible subject for Kakashi, “I don’t think Naruto knows your last name, does he? Because he’s never connected the dots that you are Professor Hatake.”

Kakashi shot her a sideways glance at that, some of the tension having dissipated from his perpetually slouched shoulders.

“I don’t think he does,” he chuckled, turning his gaze back to the empty street in front of them. “The only thing he’s ever called me was Kakashi-nii.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile at the adorableness of it all. It was just way too cute to imagine Kakashi as a brotherly figure to Naruto, even though it was all a little bit too weird in her head. It just wasn’t fair how life just kept on mercilessly shoving their faces in reasons why nothing was quite so simple when it came to the two of them. 

Still, at that moment, Sakura was willing to ignore it all—at least until she had time to sit down and _think_.

They were now considerably closer to the Rusty Kunai, the noise originating from it becoming more than faint background noise as it increased more and more with each step they took. Sakura had a billion more questions for Kakashi— _What did Naruto mean with you’re back? Back from where? Why didn’t you call his father? How long has it been since you’ve spoken to them?_ being only a few—but decided against asking any of them at the moment.

Things were already messy enough as they were and Sakura felt like she should prioritise what Kakashi meant to her over her curiosity, at least for now.

As they stepped onto the sidewalk, now only a few meters away from the bar, Sakura came to a stop. They were now close enough that they were only a few steps away from the drunken group that had been playing Ultimate Ninja when they’d first left.

Kakashi stopped walking as soon as she did and looked down at her, his silver eyebrows slightly furrowed as he waited for her to explain why she’d stopped.

“Are we ok?” Sakura’s voice remained strong and steady, even though her heart literally skipped a beat at the fear of what his answer would be.

She didn’t know why she’d asked. She only knew that she needed to know.

“Of course, we are, Sakura.” Kakashi’s face morphed into a gentler expression as he nodded once at her. There was still something hidden in it she couldn’t quite put a finger on, though. “It’s just… complicated.”

“I know.” Sakura nodded in return, looking down at her feet for a second before looking back up. “We should talk about this, shouldn’t we?”

One of Kakashi’s eyebrows rose fractionally in reaction for a split second, a gesture so clearly expressive Sakura was sure he hadn’t been able to stop it before it happened.

“Yeah, we should,” was what he answered as his features fell back into his usual control. “What abou…” He stopped talking all of a sudden, his head turning to the side to stare at the Rusty Kunai. 

Sakura followed suit and saw Genma making his way to them, a cheeky smirk playing on his lips.

“He-ey,” the brunet said as soon as he was close enough. “Everything ok here?”

All Sakura could do was nod at first, significantly aware of how Kakashi immediately tensed as soon as his friend had approached them.

“Yeah, everything’s ok,” she managed to say while doing her best to shoot him a convincing smile.

“Mmhm,” Genma hummed, cautiously studying Kakashi and Sakura and making it very clear that he knew she was lying. “As much as I’d love to leave you guys to it, they’re starting to pick up on your absence.”

“We were just about to go back inside,” Sakura spoke before Kakashi could, seeing his patience for his friend was running thin at the moment.

“Sweet,” Genma said and stepped to the side so Sakura and Kakashi could walk past him. Falling into step next to Sakura, he spoke again before they reached the door. “Did you guys have fun?”

“Mind your business,” Kakashi snarled, throwing the door open and letting Sakura step through first.

As they started to make their way through the crowd back to their booth, Sakura couldn’t help but wish she could stop Kakashi from being that angry at Genma. Sure, his friend had more than obviously done everything he could to encourage Sakura and Kakashi to take the step they probably wouldn’t have taken under normal circumstances, but it’s not like Genma _forced_ them to stay outside and do what they did. 

It wasn’t fair to blame Genma for their own reckless actions and she could only hope Kakashi realised that before Genma left on Monday.

A chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ shook Sakura out of her musings and her head turned instinctively in its direction, eyeing the group of five girls clapping and hooting excitedly. As one of the girls, one with shoulder-length black hair, blew out the candle they’d put on the Rusty Kunai’s brownie, Sakura fought back a sigh as she thought of her own birthday coming up.

Her year had been such mindless chaos up until that point that she’d almost forgotten about it.

As Sakura finally got close enough to their booth that she could see it, all of the birthday thoughts vanished from her mind as both of her eyebrows shot up in surprise at seeing Shikamaru standing there talking to Asuma. She knew Shika well enough to know he wouldn’t just stop and chat with _any_ professor, which undoubtedly meant Asuma was Professor Sarutobi, the only one who’d ever managed to bring out sheer admiration from Shikamaru. Even though it’d been at least two years since Shika had last gotten a class with him, Sakura knew they still shared a bond to this day.

 _Could this night get any fucking weirder?_ Sakura thought as she came to a stop next to her best friend, shooting one glance at the kitchen door on the other side of the room just to see Naruto eagerly waiting for his food next to it.

“Heyy!” Professor Yamato slurred as soon as she and Kakashi appeared. “You guys are _~hic~_ back!”

Sakura didn’t miss the knowing glance Asuma and Kurenai exchanged at their arrival but decided against acknowledging it. Gai appeared to be almost as drunk as Professor Yamato at this point, thankfully, so it didn’t seem like he’d cared enough to find any part of it suspicious. She was just about to say something to defend themselves when Kakashi cut her to the chase.

“It’s just too fucking hot in here,” he grunted as he slid into the booth, immediately grabbing one of the chips and dipping it into the guacamole dip that had been delivered to the table.

Sakura turned her head just in time to see Genma sending her a questioning look, obviously wondering why she hadn’t sat down next to Kakashi yet. Making up her mind on the spot, Sakura knew she couldn’t stay there any longer, as desperate to go home and finally have some time off to _think_ as she was.

“Do you wanna go home now?” Shikamaru asked her just as Sakura made to say she was leaving.

She turned to him and nodded, thankful he’d sensed what she wanted and asked ahead to give her an excuse. She was just about to speak again when Genma cut her to the chase.

“ _What?_ ” He asked after picking up his pint glass from the table. “Pink, you can’t leave _now_!”

Sakura smiled sadly at the dismay she caught in his eyes.

“You know the midterms for the Sciences department are this week, I need to revise tomorrow,” she explained, the half-truth in her excuse not making it any easier on her. 

“Come on, stay just a bit longer,” Kurenai said after she took a sip of her beer. “Tenzou and Gai just reached a whole new level of drunk, you can’t miss it.”

“A whole new level of our _youth_ , you mean!” Gai boomed, one hand tightly wrapped around his almost empty pint glass. “The rest of you are just shamefully falling behind.”

“The most infuriating part is that he actually won’t have a hangover for this.” Asuma chuckled. “Maybe Gai’s actually onto something with this whole youth thing.”

Before they could delve any further into that—she’d seen enough as the night had gone on to know this kind of discussion could continue for a _really_ long time—Sakura quickly took the opportunity to say her goodbyes.

“I had a lot of fun tonight, guys.” She smiled at them and then turned to Genma. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“I’m glad you made it.” He shot her somewhat of a sad grin in return as he leaned forward to place the pint glass back down on the wooden table.

“Once again, thanks for everything. You know what I mean,” Sakura told Genma as Shikamaru started saying bye to Asuma and Kurenai. “Keep yourself safe there, ok?”

Genma pulled her into a hug at that, which Sakura didn’t hesitate to return. She’d always hated goodbyes and it didn’t faze Sakura at all that she was _this_ sad to say goodbye to a guy she hadn’t even known for more than a few weeks.

“I’ll see you next time, Pink.”

Sakura pulled away from the hug then, completely taken by surprise at the sheer _certainty_ she’d picked up on Genma’s tone. It was honestly overwhelming how _sure_ he was she’d actually be around for them to see each other the next time he was in town. 

Thankfully, though, Sakura was relieved from the duty of actually responding to it when Naruto’s voice came from right behind them.

“Oi! The kitchen isn’t closing now, guys, what the fuck?”

Sakura turned her head to stare at her friend who now had two take-out packages in his hands, one of which Sakura knew was full of ramen.

“Oh, really?” She cocked her head slightly to the side, feigning confusion. “That’s weird, I thought it was happening tonight.”

“Hmpf,” Naruto huffed but soon enough grinned again and handed the other box to Shikamaru. “They only had curly fries, by the way.”

“They’re all the same thing,” Shika drawled as he accepted the box. “Thanks.”

“You got _fries_?” Sakura arched one eyebrow at Shikamaru. “At this hour?”

“I’m hungry.” He shrugged. “And we both know you’ll eat most of them on the way home anyway.”

Instead of answering, Sakura once again turned to the table with Kakashi and his friends. They were all curiously watching the three students, especially when Naruto opened his take-out box to take a loving peek at the ramen inside. Afraid he would try to speak to Kakashi again, Sakura quickly stepped up and said what she hoped to be one final goodbye to the group.

“Enjoy the rest of your night, guys.” She smiled and did everything she could to not let her eyes find Kakashi’s. Sakura knew they were standing on thin ice with his friends as it was and couldn’t afford to let any of them see what she was sure would show in her eyes if she looked at him. 

Sakura’s chest filled with warmth as all of Kakashi’s friends said their own goodbyes to her in return, saying things such as how much they enjoyed her presence and that they wished she had a safe walk home. Shooting them one last smile, Sakura looked at her own friends and found Naruto moving his eyes over at Kakashi.

_Oh, no._

“I’ll show up,” Kakashi said before Naruto could say anything.

“Awesome!” Naruto beamed down at him, his blue eyes glinting with happiness at the promise. “Do you want m...”

“I have his number, don’t worry.”

It didn’t go amiss by Sakura how all of Kakashi’s friends shot him completely puzzled stares. She couldn’t help but frown at the way he rudely snapped at Naruto, not really understanding why he was treating him like shit. As she turned her head to stare at Naruto, though, she couldn’t help but feel sorry when she saw the wounded hurt stamped in her friend’s face. 

Taking on the duty of damage control, Sakura jokingly poked Naruto on his arm.

“Your ramen will be cold by the time you get home.”

Naruto turned to stare at her then, a smile taking form on his lips.

“Nah, Sakura-chan, not if I can help it.”

Was Sakura hallucinating or had Kakashi just _flinched_ when Naruto said her name?

Putting that question to the back of her mind and shooting one last smile at everyone at the table, Sakura followed Naruto as he led the way to the door. She didn’t have to look back to know Shikamaru was right behind her and she couldn’t wait until she would be able to eat the curly fries he held in his hands.

The slightly chilly air outside had a different effect on Sakura at the moment than it did when she’d been outside with Kakashi. Now, a slight shiver shook her entire body for a second, making her not even hesitate before pulling on her sweater. Thankful for the extra warmth, Sakura turned to stare at Naruto just as he was waving goodbye at them.

“Enjoy your ramen!” Sakura exclaimed as he started to turn away.

“You know I will,” he laughed and fully turned then, eager to make the short walk back to his place as fast as possible before his food could get cold.

Sakura and Shikamaru didn’t say a single thing as they started walking away from the Rusty Kunai. They had just reached the opposing sidewalk when Shikamaru pulled the take-out lid open and grabbed a curly fry before offering the box to Sakura. 

They were silent for the first few minutes, both entirely content with just passing the box back and forth between them and mercilessly attacking its contents. They both knew there was a big conversation coming up and neither felt the need to speed things up at first.

When they’d eaten half of the fries, though, Sakura decided it was time to speak.

“You were at Temari’s, weren’t you? I know she’s staying a few blocks away from Naruto.”

“Hm,” Shika made his usual non-committal noise as he took another fry and handed the box to Sakura. “You were making out with that guy, weren’t you?” 

There wasn’t even a single ounce of accusation or judgement in his tone, which Sakura was immensely thankful for. It wasn’t that she’d ever expected otherwise from Shikamaru but it was still a huge relief for Sakura to be proven right. Shika wouldn’t judge her, no matter what, and that was precisely what she needed at the moment.

“Come on, you first.” Sakura took another curly fry from the box. “Since when do you go to each other’s places?”

Shikamaru groaned but it didn’t take him long to answer.

“Since tonight.”

“What, seriously?” Sakura turned her head to stare at Shika, trying to hide her excitement as best as she could. “Why didn’t you sleep over?”

“Because nothing happened.” He shot her an annoyed look, taking another fry from the box while it was still clutched in Sakura’s hands.

Sakura hummed and turned her head to stare at the sidewalk once again, more than content with the small amount of information she’d gotten from him. Shikamaru had never been one to disclose anything about his love life so Sakura was more than ok with what she could get.

“Now you.” He jokingly elbowed her arm to nudge her to speak.

“Yeah,” she sighed after a few seconds of silence, “we were making out.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand dismissively at her. “I know _that_. What subject does he teach you, though?”

Sakura snorted at Shika’s perceptiveness. She wasn’t in the least surprised he had figured out Kakashi was her professor but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to know what’d tipped him off.

“How did you know?” 

“You’ve been acting weird for months now, and it’s not like you’ve been going to many places you could meet thirty-year-olds.” Shika started after accepting the box from Sakura. “I thought he might be the guy giving you self-defence classes but then I realised he’s friends with Asuma and his wife, which most likely means he’s also a professor at KU.”

“He _is_ the guy giving me self-defence classes.”

“Hm,” Shika made his usual non-committal noise again. “He’s also your professor, though, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is,” Sakura admitted with a sigh. “Genma—the guy I said goodbye to at the end—told him about the… _incident_ at the Rusty Kunai and Kakashi offered to help me out with self-defence. And that’s how we got closer. But I guess I’ve been interested in him ever since our second supervision session.”

“Your second _what_?” Shika turned his head to stare at her, uncharacteristically surprised. “Is he _Professor Hatake_?”

“Ha,” Sakura let out a dry chuckle. “I guess I should have mentioned that sooner.”

“Holy shit.” He chuckled, facing the sidewalk once again. “So _that’s_ why you stopped complaining about him. How long has it been going on?”

“Tonight was the first time we did anything. But as I said, I’ve liked him for a while now.”

Sakura waited with bated breath for Shika to say anything else but all he did was delve back into the fries. 

“So…?” She pressed him after he remained in silence.

“What?”

“Aren’t you gonna _say_ anything?”

“Sakura, I _know_ you. You’re not stupid. I’d tell you to be careful since he could be taking advantage of you but it doesn’t sound like he is.” He shrugged, putting another fry in his mouth and handing Sakura the box. “I haven’t seen enough to know it for sure but I trust your judgement.”

“But… He’s my thesis supervisor,” she argued. “That could go _so_ wrong.”

“And you don’t need me to tell you that, you already know.”

Sakura felt her eyebrows creasing on the forehead. She knew Shika wouldn’t have judged her but she hadn’t thought he’d think the entire situation was _perfectly normal_. 

“Shika, _what_?” Sakura exclaimed as she took another fry from the box. “How are you so chill about this? What do I _do_?”

Shikamaru sighed.

“Sakura, only you know the answer to that. I don’t know how much you like this guy, but I do know that it’s been a really long time since you’ve been interested in anyone and you deserve this.” He looked at her at this point and the seriousness in his eyes took her by surprise. “I don’t know this guy and I don’t know the situation but I know _you_ , and if you think it’s worth it, I’m with you.”

Sakura had no idea how to respond to that. She wasn’t used to hearing something so personal coming from Shikamaru and the blind support he’d just showed her was beyond anything she’d ever expected.

“Wow,” she exhaled as her brain caught up with his words. “Thanks, Shika. Really.”

Shikamaru shrugged, taking the box from Sakura’s hands while taking advantage of her stupor. She allowed him to take it absentmindedly, her mind going over what he’d just told her.

“I should change supervisors, shouldn’t I?”

“Well, yeah.” He nodded as soon as he was done swallowing. “It’s better to make sure your thesis can’t be compromised.”

Sakura hummed as she took a fry from the box clutched in Shika’s hands. Even though she was pretty sure she and Kakashi would decide to put all of this on hold until she graduated, Sakura had always been an analytical person. Being prepared for every possible scenario was always a huge priority for her, so covering all bases was to be expected.

It just didn’t seem like there was any other sensible option other than waiting until June. So much shit could happen if they allowed anything else to happen and got caught. _Again_. Kakashi could lose his job, Sakura could have her thesis discredited—she wasn’t entirely sure how terrible the consequences would be for her thesis but she found it best to always expect the worst—and she was sure the universe was more than capable of coming up with even more terrible consequences.

 _Not_ waiting until June sounded honestly insane and just plain out stupid when Sakura put it like that. Her graduation was only a little over two months away and she knew that wasn’t a ridiculously long amount of time. The fact that she was sure Kakashi would agree with her made Sakura sigh in relief. That is…

It was at that point that Sakura allowed herself to accept the fact that she had no idea what Kakashi wanted.

Sakura knew she could wait until June because she _knew_ what she felt for Kakashi and it wouldn’t just go away in a couple of months. She hadn’t received any indication he felt anything other than physical attraction for her, though, and, honestly, Sakura just didn’t know how to proceed with this.

What if he lost interest in her before June came around? Kakashi was a _man_ and nothing was stopping him from meeting other girls, _available_ girls who were actually _his fucking age_ and who wouldn’t have the _insane_ amount of anxiety Sakura had when she thought what it’d be like to actually go through with what she yearned to do with him.

_Haruno Sakura, what the fuck is wrong with you?_

Sakura exhaled at the words that mercifully pulled her away from that particular line of thought. It had taken _years_ of self-improvement until Sakura reached the level of confidence she had today and, even though it still wasn’t the highest it could be, she’d be damned before she allowed herself to step back into that well-familiar pit of self-doubt she’d lived in for the first two decades of her life.

Sakura didn’t need validation from _anyone_ , much less from a man. She’d known that ever since she’d decided to break up with Sasuke and there was no way in hell she’d open an exception for it now. If Kakashi found someone else, then _so fucking be it_. Sakura wasn’t about to risk her entire academic career over an irresponsible hook-up, especially when she had no idea what it even _meant_ to him.

“Why are you pissed now?”

Shikamaru’s voice pulled Sakura out of her internal musings, her head whipping to the side so she could meet his curious glance. She now realised they were just about to reach her street, where she’d go off to the left and Shika would take his turn to the right.

“I was just thinking,” she said.

“And it got you _that_ mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not!” Sakura’s eyes widened slightly in frustration. “I just… Yeah, I guess my mind took some of my anxieties and just decided to fucking _run_ with them.”

“Hm,” Shika made his usual non-committal noise for what seemed like the billionth time on their walk when they came to a stop on the spot they went their separate ways. “Just don’t jump to assumptions, you do that a lot.”

Sakura went as far as opening her mouth to argue with him before she decided against it. She knew he was right, as usual. Even Sakura knew herself well enough to know she always preferred to sabotage things before she’d actually allow herself to be hurt.

Shaking her head when Shika offered her the nearly empty take-out box to see if she’d want the rest, Sakura gave him a tired smile.

“What do I do if Naruto asks anything?” She asked, for once thinking about _that_ particular variable of the entire situation.

“Depends on what he asks.”

Sakura knew what Shika meant, as cryptic as his answer had been. _Be as honest as you can possibly be but lie if you have to._

“Thanks, Shika,” she said as she started taking a few steps back, getting ready to turn around as soon as she finished saying what she had to say. “I hope you and Temari get around to actually _doing_ something the next time you go to each other’s places.”

Thankfully, Sakura had been able to see the sheer annoyance in Shika’s furrowed eyebrows as he scowled at her words before she walked away.

.

.

.

Kakashi was in a foul mood. As much as he tried to enjoy having fun with his friends, there was no stopping his mind from shutting down into its well-known and fucking insufferable sulking mode.

Actively ignoring the loudness his drunk friends were making as the hours went on, Kakashi settled for doing his very best to drown his thoughts in alcohol as quietly as he could. Of course, he’d tried that way too many times over the years, more than enough to know it didn’t work—at least not in the long term. And Kakashi needed long term for this.

He needed long term because, against any fucking ounce of common sense he had, Kakashi actually managed to _completely_ ruin things between him and Sakura. It’d been heartbreaking to see her so worried about whether they were okay or not after what’d happened at the bench, Kakashi simply hadn’t had the heart or the guts to let her know how truly terrible the situation truly was.

How the fuck would he be able to look Sakura in the eyes and tell her that kiss had been everything he’d wanted? That he’d fucking give up oxygen for another, and that now that he knew what she tasted like—after weeks of wishing he’d someday be lucky enough to—he fucking knew _nothing_ would ever live up to it. How the fuck could he tell her all that, knowing full well the reasons why nothing could happen between them?

And for fuck’s sake, he didn’t even know what the fuck he _wanted_ to happen between them. Kakashi was completely clueless when it came to this kind of thing and all he knew is that he’d do anything to see where things with Sakura could go from there. That’s all he could deal with at the moment, and it was surprising enough as it was: he just really wanted to see what they could be, together.

But he couldn’t. _They_ couldn’t. Fuck, Kakashi didn’t even know if Sakura _wanted_ any of that.

Not that it mattered, of course. Because every fucking time Kakashi felt like they’d received enough reminders that things just weren’t _simple_ when it comes to them, the universe made sure to stick their noses in it a little bit more.

For fuck’s sake, she knew Naruto. Not only that, but she was _Sakura-chan_.

“Here ya go, man.”

Kakashi shook himself out of his thoughts when Genma placed another pint in front of Kakashi. Thanking his friend before bringing the glass up to his lips, Kakashi willed himself to at least _try_ to be there for him. He’d have more than enough time to sulk after Genma was gone and he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t enjoy his friend’s company while he was still around.

So, Kakashi did his best. For the next hour or so, he joined in on the conversations and came really close to genuinely enjoying it. Granted, it’d been pretty fucking funny when Tenzou tried to make Gai stop speaking and ended up knocking both of their glasses and spilling the drinks all over the table. Still, Kakashi had been nothing but relieved when the time to leave came around.

It may have taken them a while to get the full payment done—which Kakashi very sneakily managed to avoid contributing to—and even more to hail Tenzou from the bench but, in the end, they managed just fine. Kakashi and Genma waited outside until the taxi that would take their friends home arrived, which took around fifteen minutes. Honestly, Kakashi nearly got into the taxi as well just to take a longer way home and not have to walk past the bench at the end of the street.

But, he didn’t. Soon enough, Kakashi watched as Genma said his last goodbyes to their friends. That same scene had happened multiple times before—and in most of them, Kakashi had been the one who was about to leave—but every time it hurt a little bit more. 

Pushing that pain to the furthest corner of his mind, Kakashi raised his head so he could look at the sky. He could make out some stars in the absolute darkness far above but he knew he’d be able to see many more if it weren’t for the city lights. At least the alcohol in his veins made it easier for him to just _not think_ , which was precisely what he needed at the moment.

When he heard the taxi’s door closing shut, Kakashi turned his attention back to ground-level just in time to see the car drive away from the curb. And then it was just him and Genma.

“Come on, Bakashi.” Genma slapped Kakashi in the back, motioning him to fall into step next to him, and so he did.

Kakashi knew Genma would ask about Sakura. He knew it was only a matter of time until he did and he had no idea what he would do then. Truth be told, Kakashi wished he were still as pissed off at Genma as he’d been when he and Sakura had walked back into the bar. Then, it’d been easy to focus all of his frustrations on his friend and blame him for all the shit that’d happened but even Kakashi knew that wasn’t fair. As much of an idiot that Genma could be—a completely _overstepping_ and _shameless_ idiot—Kakashi knew he couldn’t be blamed for the major disaster Kakashi had caused between him and Sakura.

It honestly felt like talking about her was the last fucking thing Kakashi wanted to do at the moment and he was actually pretty sure he’d just tell Genma to fuck off if he asked but then a wave of resignation washed over him.

At that moment, he just didn’t have it in him to protest anymore.

“That kid was Commander Namikaze’s son, wasn’t he?”

Out of _everything_ , Kakashi hadn’t expected Genma to ask about _that_. His defence walls instinctively reached high again and, surprisingly enough, Kakashi wished Genma would just take a step back and fucking talk about _Sakura_. Sure enough, though, Kakashi wasn’t surprised Genma had recognised Naruto. Even though Minato hadn’t been Genma’s commander and he’d only seen Naruto once, the kid looked _just_ like his dad.

“ _And_ he’s Sakura’s friend,” Genma continued, taking Kakashi’s silence for the affirmative that he’d been right.

“Hm,” Kakashi grunted, glad the conversation was shifting away from the other subject but still not looking forward to talking about Sakura now that it was about to happen.

Genma didn’t say anything else, knowing Kakashi well enough to know that if he wanted to say anything, he was more likely to say it if he hadn’t been questioned about it.

Kakashi really didn’t want to talk about it. He _really_ didn’t. But the entire situation was starting to sound way too dooming in his head and if Genma could offer him any relief from that, Kakashi was willing to bet on it.

“When Naruto was around twelve we had our last vacation at their place, and he started having this huge crush on a girl.” The words left Kakashi’s mouth before he’d approved of them but he did nothing to stop what he knew was about to come next. “He used to bug me all the fucking time about it for those two months. Sakura-chan, that’s what he used to call her. It was funny because Naruto started to take it out on Obito that the girl had a crush on his cousin and that’s why she didn’t give Naruto a chance—” Kakashi chose against lingering on how _his_ name had just slipped out of his mouth more easily than it ever had in years—“I just can’t believe it’s _her_.”

Kakashi shouldn’t have been surprised when Genma burst into laughter next to him. All he did was stare straight ahead as his friend threw his head back and laughed his ass off, loud enough that Kakashi was sure he was bound to wake the sleeping people in the dark apartments around them. The only good thing was that Kakashi had been way too immersed in his talking that he was able to actively ignore it when they’d walked past the bench at the end of the street. At least he got _that_ going for him.

“I can’t believe you _stole the dude’s crush_ ,” Genma said as his laughter quieted down a bit. “Nice move, Kakashi, nice move.”

“Fuck off.”

“Ah, come _on_ , dude!” Genma’s tone was teasing as he punched Kakashi’s shoulder. “That was _years_ ago, I’m sure Naruto’s over her by now.”

“That’s not the fucking _point_ ,” Kakashi snarled. “It’s just… it’s _weird_. Naruto was just a kid when that happened.”

“You’ve always known she was at least ten years younger than you,” Genma answered, immediately picking up on what Kakashi had left unsaid.

“Yeah, but I don’t need to know she was Naruto’s crush when he was going through _puberty_. It makes me feel like a fucking child predator.”

Now Genma’s laughter did nothing but irritate Kakashi to the very core of his being. 

“I don’t see anything wrong with it. She still would’ve been a teenager years ago whether she knew Naruto or not, the age difference is still the same.” Genma shrugged. “She’s an adult now, that’s what matters.”

All Kakashi did in return was hum, not in the mood to say anything else. He knew Genma was right, he knew Sakura was an adult and their age difference wasn’t even _that_ bad, to begin with. He wasn’t sure exactly how old she was but he guessed Naruto should be about twenty-two years old now, and Kakashi was pretty sure they were the same age. 

He knew of many successful couples that had even bigger age gaps and he was well aware that age specifically didn’t mean anything as long as they were both adults. Sure, if age was the only issue between them he was sure it wouldn’t become much of a problem at all. 

There was the other issue, though, that ‘professionally’ speaking Kakashi was clearly in a position of power over Sakura. Not only was he her professor but he was also her thesis supervisor and he knew it wasn’t ethical or right to let anything happen between them while he was her superior in any way. Kakashi knew that. He knew _Sakura_ knew that.

Thinking about it at that very moment, it was obvious what needed to be done. Nothing else could happen until Sakura graduated in June, and Kakashi could only hope this wasn’t just a fling for Sakura and that she wouldn’t find another guy to replace him with in the next two months.

Kakashi nearly cursed when he realised he hadn’t been able to end his conversation with her. He just couldn’t believe they’d left it at ‘we should talk about this’ right before Genma showed up. Now he’d have to wait until Tuesday to see what she thought about the entire situation, and…

For fuck’s sake, _Tuesday_. Were they even going to train? Could Kakashi just show up at her house as if everything was normal or should he just meet her for their 9 am class? What if he didn’t show up and Sakura waited for him? 

“How did it go, though?” Genma asked, once again pulling Kakashi out of his musings—and the interruption was more than welcome.

“What?” He knew exactly what Genma was talking about but he needed those few extra seconds to think about how the fuck he would handle what came next.

“For fuck’s sake, Kakashi, you know exactly what I’m talking about. _How’d it go_?”

The words were finally out of Genma’s mouth, the words Kakashi had been expecting ever since they started walking home. And still, he had no idea what to do. If Kakashi was being honest with himself, a part of him didn’t want to tell Genma anything. He wanted to keep what happened between him and Sakura to himself for some reason he couldn’t quite figure out at the moment.

But another part of Kakashi—and, honestly, it was a part Kakashi had never really had before— _wanted_ to tell him. He wanted to say the words out loud, hear what his friend had to say and accept that it _had_ happened. He and Sakura had kissed and it’d been the best fucking thing he’d ever done in his entire life and nothing would ever live up to it.

Kakashi had never been good at validating and understanding what went on inside of him but maybe this could be his first step.

“We kissed.”

This time, the words left his mouth after being fully authorised to do so. Even though a portion of the tension perpetually set between his shoulders dissipated a bit at the admission, Kakashi waited with bated breath for Genma’s reaction.

He’d expected his friend to immediately freak out, obnoxiously yelling for all citizens of Konoha to hear that it’d _finally_ _fucking happened_. After all the sneaky things Genma had pulled off to make this happen, Kakashi had been certain his friend would be nothing short of ecstatic about it. 

What he hadn’t expected was for Genma to turn his head to cautiously study Kakashi, his thin eyebrows slightly raised in calculated surprise.

He knew there was more to it.

“And we got caught by Sakura’s friends,” Kakashi added.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Genma exhaled, using one hand to slightly rearrange the bandana on his head. “How much did they see?”

“Well, nothing, technically. They were talking before they turned the block so Sakura stepped back before they came around, so they didn’t _see_ anything.” Kakashi ran a hand up his face, anxiety pooling back on the pit of his stomach once again. “Naruto was really surprised to see me and I think we managed to dodge it well but her other friend obviously knew what was going on.”

“Did Sakura seem freaked out?”

“No, not really.” Kakashi frowned. “The other guy helped us out with driving Naruto away before he could ask anything and Sakura thanked him, but she didn’t seem to mind that he’d figured it out.”

“If he’s the guy that was talking to Asuma, he’s the dude she called to pick her up after she was attacked,” Genma said. “That obviously means she trusts him, so if she’s not freaked out than you don’t need to be either.”

Kakashi hummed, processing the new bits of information over in his head. Indeed, Sakura hadn’t looked in the least concerned about how that friend had most likely figured everything out and Kakashi knew all he could do was trust her judgement on it. He had no idea how Naruto would react if he ever put two and two together, though, and Kakashi realised he actually didn’t want to know.

Kakashi had never been one to worry about things unless he needed to, so he decided to quickly put that thought to the furthest corner of his mind, knowing full-well he’d only bring it up again if Naruto did figure anything out.

“You ok?”

Genma’s question made Kakashi curiously turn to watch his best friend. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sheer curiosity he could so easily read on his face.

“What makes you think I’m not?”

“That you haven’t said a single word about _Sakura_ in this entire conversation. You spoke about her friends and how she dealt with them but nothing about you two. What’s up?”

Facing the sidewalk ahead of them again, Kakashi sighed. How the fuck could he even begin to explain to Genma something Kakashi himself hadn’t had the guts to think about the entire night? How could he tell Genma he was literally _terrified_ of what he felt during their kiss, how he fucking hated how vulnerable he felt at that moment.

Kakashi had always done everything he could to extinguish any ounce of vulnerability from his life, from a very young age. He’d like to say it started as a result of his father’s suicide but he couldn’t be certain if it hadn’t started even before that, maybe with his mother’s death. 

Bottom line is that Hatake Kakashi built himself to be _unreachable_ and Sakura tore down all of his defences without even trying. And that was not something Kakashi was prepared to deal with just yet.

“You remember the January dinner at my place?” Kakashi asked instead. He swallowed down a chuckle as the memory of _‘avoiding questions by asking further ones is extremely immature, Miss Haruno’_ went through his mind but he couldn’t really focus on it when Genma immediately answered.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“You and Tenzou started talking about the difference between chemistry and attraction, how chemistry hits you different and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Kakashi chuckled as they crossed the street to his building, momentarily wondering how the fuck his life managed to take this unbelievable turn in a matter of two months. “Back then I honestly thought you guys were full of shit, but now… now I know. Sakura hit me different, dude, she really did.”

When only silence met his words, Kakashi curiously turned his head to glance at Genma as they came to a stop before his building’s front door. The shit-eating grin stamped on Genma’s face was more than enough to make Kakashi roll his eyes as he fished his keychain from his pockets, the annoyance he felt for his friend returning full-force.

“Knock it off, asshole,” he said as he turned the key and pushed the door open, the automatic lights from the lobby detecting their movement and turning on.

“Sure, sure.” Genma brushed past Kakashi and walked into the lobby before he could. “You can’t deny it, though, dude. I fucking _nailed_ my job here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, hey hey hey everyone!!!! I know it's been awhile and I'm really sorry about that, but I really appreciate your patience and the support some of you showed me for reaching out <3 you guys made me feel very loved so thanks for that.
> 
> before I get into the real, deep stuff, I'd just want to let you guys know that I edited basically all of the chapters I've already posted lol. it wasn't anything major, I just changed the way a few sentences were structured and all, I didn't change anything relevant. I just wanted to let you guys know :) (I did this bc I'm one of those people that can't reread my own work bc if I do I suddenly decide it sucks lol)
> 
> ok, let's dive into it. this is gonna be kinda long but I feel like I need to say these things and I'd love to head your thoughts on this.
> 
> after I posted chapter 17, I freaked out. there's no other way to put it, I simply started doubting myself and my story and my creativity and basically everything that surrounds my ability to create content. I was suddenly hit by a thousand different thoughts that what I'd planned for this story was simply not good enough and I didn't know how to go around that. honestly, I didn't even really know how to pinpoint the problem itself, I only knew it wasn't good.
> 
> for helping me out with this, I have one of my best friends, J, to thank for (I know a lot of you know her as the incredible, insanely talented mastermind behind Daughter of Fire and yup she deserves all the recognition she gets)!! we were talking about my fic one day and she said something that just instantly opened my eyes and I thought 'holy shit that's it'. 
> 
> you see, I'm not a planner. I'm not the kind of person who plans ahead, actually it's almost like I'm physically incapable of doing so. For this story, when I started it, I only knew one thing: it'd end at Sakura's graduation and then I'd write an epilogue with a two-year time skip to show how they're doing. and I thought that was good enough when I started, I was happy with that. but everything changed when I posted chapter 17.
> 
> I guess I just realised that it's not actually good enough. I started to think about how I've been developing both Sakura and Kakashi, how my original plan meant I'd only have TWO FUCKING MONTHS to work on developing their story well enough that'd leave you guys satisfied, would leave ME satisfied, and would do the two of them justice. and I realised I can't do that, not within that time span. I realised they deserve more, that Sakura would never jeopardize her thesis and that Kakashi would also never put her in a position in which she would have to do so. 
> 
> and that's when I started freaking out. I realised I couldn't do that, I couldn't rush things just so I could end this at her graduation. and that's when J helped me. J gave me the most amazing and simple answer in the world: "A, wtf are you thinking? just don't finish at her graduation." and I was like "...oh. yeah, that works."
> 
> soooo, I WON'T! I decided I'm going to explore a lot of other stuff here that I originally wouldn't because I didn't have the time (I don't know if any of you noticed but there's a few new names on the character tags *wink wink*), and I decided I'm going to give Kakashi and Sakura the love story they fucking deserve.
> 
> so, yeah. I wanted to hear your thoughts on this, if you guys would want this fic to go on for a longer time than expected... I'm really fucking nervous about this lol please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> other than that, thanks again, you guys. you're all amazing and I love you and I hope you're all doing well <3 x
> 
> p.s.: oh also the happy birthday scene with the girl blowing the candle is an easter egg for my best friend, Ana, since her birthday is on the 21st of March and this chapter happens in the wee hours of that day :)


	19. goodbyes

It was only when Sakura woke up on Sunday morning that she realised she’d never actually figured out when she’d talk to Kakashi. Apparently, she’d been way too busy with stopping herself from thinking about the events of the night and didn’t even realise this very important detail hadn’t been cleared between them.

When the fuck were they going to talk? Sakura knew it would be on Tuesday but she had no idea _when_. Would they even train together? God, what if Sakura waited for Kakashi and he never showed up? Honestly, she couldn’t even fathom what she’d do if that happened. Sure enough, they’d left things unresolved at the Rusty Kunai but him not showing up for training… That’d be quite obviously a rejection. And a pretty fucking _terrible_ one, at that.

As she cleaned up the dishes she’d used for breakfast, Sakura made up her mind. She didn’t want to think about Kakashi anymore, she didn’t want to try to guess what he thought about the entire thing, she was _done_ with that. From the way things were going she was merely one step away from completely losing her mind over this, and Sakura actually feared the possibility of her marching up to Kakashi’s place just to… God, she didn’t even know what it was that she wanted to _do_. Things had been so weird when she’d left the bar, there were so many factors playing around in her mind now. Why had he been so rude to Naruto? Why did he look so uncomfortable when the blond had called her Sakura-chan? 

Had Kakashi been saying the truth when he reassured her that things were okay between them or was he just telling her what she wanted to hear?

Honestly, as long as things were still okay between the two of them, Sakura didn’t really care about anything else. Just the thought of whatever it was she had been building with Kakashi over the last few months being ruined made Sakura’s stomach tighten uncomfortably. Thankfully, though, she had more than enough excuses to distract herself by using the midterms as an excuse. Sure enough, at that point Sakura knew she’d still get outstanding grades in all three exams even if she decided to not revise at all, but the distraction was more than welcome at the moment.

The first thing she did as soon as all of the dishes were properly cleaned and put away was grab her phone and send a text in her friend’s group chat asking if anyone wanted to meet up for a study session. She was pretty sure the Psychology department was also having their midterms that week so she was hoping either Ino, Sai, or Naruto would take her up on her offer—although hopefully, it wouldn’t be Naruto.

And indeed, less than two minutes later, Sakura’s phone buzzed with a response from Ino. She couldn’t help but be relieved that the blonde had replied—Sakura was pretty sure Ino was the only person who could possibly keep her distracted enough so that she wouldn’t think of a certain silver-haired man.

Ino Pig: _I’m at the library! There’s a spot three seats away from me, I can hold it for u :)_

Sakura typed a quick response at Ino’s offer, saying she’d be there in less than half an hour and set to work. The entire routine of placing her laptop, notebook, some spare sheets of paper and stationery supplies into her messenger bag had become automatic at that point, and Sakura brushed her teeth knowing it’d take less than ten minutes to change from her pyjamas into something she could wear on that first morning of Spring.

As she stood naked in front of her wardrobe trying to find something to wear, Sakura’s eyes immediately moved to her reflection in the mirror where she could see the light purple bruises on her hips. They hadn’t been there when she’d showered after getting home a few hours before and had apparently taken form since then. The sight immediately caused a violent rush of blood to speed up to Sakura’s face and she couldn’t help but think about how they’d gotten there—well, she guessed she couldn’t truly be blamed for the way her lower abdomen coiled in desire at the memory.

Not being able to deal with _that_ at the moment since there wasn’t even enough time to take a cold shower at the moment—not that that was how she’d normally choose to proceed under such circumstances—Sakura just pointedly looked away from her reflection in an attempt to pretend the bruises weren’t there. Of course, that wasn’t an easy task since she could pretty much fucking _feel_ the weight of Kakashi’s large hands on her and in her hair and the sound of his voice as he’d _growled_ in her ear… _fuck_. Grabbing the first pieces of clothing she laid her eyes on, Sakura pretty much slammed her wardrobe’s door and got dressed.

Sure, the weather was progressively warming up but Sakura didn’t even hesitate before throwing her favourite denim jacket—the one with white wool on the interior that never failed to keep her nice and warm—over the black long-sleeved shirt and black skinny jeans she’d put on. Eager to get the fuck out of her apartment as soon as possible, Sakura only spent a minute or so by the door putting on her favourite black heeled booties and then she was good to go.

Sakura quickly typed on her private conversation with Ino as she made her way down the stairs of her building.

_What floor are you on?_

_Guess ;)_

Chuckling at the quick reply from her friend, Sakura slid her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and opened the door that led to the sidewalk. For some unknown reason, the fourth floor of the library was always the one with the highest percentage of hot people and it was always disgustingly packed for exactly that reason. It was Sakura’s least favourite floor in the entire five-story building since the number of students more worried about socialising than actually studying always got on her nerves.

She didn’t care on that particular day, though. At this point, anything that could take her mind off of Kakashi would be more than welcome. 

Sakura reached the library doors on campus exactly twenty-eight minutes after she’d started getting ready. Usually, the library would be almost completely empty on a Sunday morning but Sakura wasn’t surprised to see it almost completely packed at 8:47 am on that midterms weekend. She took the elevator to the fourth floor and walked around for a bit until she spotted Ino’s high ponytail a few tables away from where Sakura stood.

Making her way there, Sakura quickly identified Ino’s purple backpack placed on one of the only empty seats still left on the long table, three spots away from the blonde. She made sure to replace Ino’s backpack with her own black leather messenger bag first before walking towards her friend.

“Hey,” Sakura whispered as she gently touched Ino’s shoulder, trying not to startle her friend who seemed to be actually focused on her books.

“Forehead!” Ino looked up and grinned at Sakura, not bothering to keep her voice lower than it would normally be, and then she frowned. “Damn, you look like you haven’t slept in a _week_. I’m getting you a concealer for your birthday.”

“I did sleep for only four hours.” Sakura shrugged, completely unbothered by Ino’s remark—even though it was surely an exaggeration. Sakura knew she didn’t look _that_ bad.

“Oh, _really_?” A perfectly shaped blonde eyebrow raised in her forehead as Ino eyed Sakura with newfound interest. “Anything you need to tell me?”

Sakura rolled her eyes, doing her very best to not let anything betray her at that very critical moment. The last thing she needed at the moment was for _Ino_ to sniff around her personal life and end up finding something she definitely shouldn’t.

“ _No_ , Pig, I had a thing at the Rusty Kunai.” Sakura crossed her arms and met Ino’s calculating gaze with a raised eyebrow, desperately hoping her friend would just assume Sakura had been covering for someone on their Saturday shift or something.

And apparently, she did. Ino rolled her eyes, immediately losing interest in the lack of action in Sakura’s evening— _god, if only she knew_ , Sakura thought—and only then seemed to realise Sakura was still holding her backpack.

“Ok, then. Now, shoo,” Ino literally shooed Sakura away with her hands after taking the purple backpack from her hands and lowering it to the ground, “I need to get two months worth of content in my head until tomorrow and unless you have anything _good_ to tell me, I need peace and quiet.”

If this were any other day, Sakura would have made a comment on Ino’s tendency to always leave everything to the last minute but at that moment all Sakura could do was sigh. Her main source of distraction had just closed a door on her and she’d actually have to work solo to try and not let her mind wander to dangerous places.

Sitting down on the spot Ino had thankfully held for her, Sakura pulled out all of her stuff and spread them on the space she had for herself before lowering her bag to the floor underneath her table, right next to her feet. Since she was there anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to put herself to work.

And so she did. For the next hours of that Sunday morning, Sakura re-revised all of her notes on the three midterms she’d be taking. After she was done with literally everything she could possibly do to prepare for them—even taking dozens of variations to her Quizlet quizzes in the process—she closed the tabs she’d had open on her laptop up until that point and reopened some others, diving right back into where she’d left off on her research for her thesis. She’d much rather be on the fifth-floor when conducting thesis-related work since she needed silence to concentrate but, as it turned out, one of the white-noise playlists she’d found online seemed to do the trick.

Sakura had been elbows-deep for almost two hours trying to finish up the report on her last visit to the lab and was just about to be done with it when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Wanna grab something to eat at Ichiraku’s?” Ino asked as soon as Sakura looked up at her and pulled her earphones out. “I can get you take-out if you don’t wanna take a break.”

“Holy shit, I didn’t notice it was so late,” Sakura said as she checked her watch to see it was 13:27, only then realising how hungry she actually was. “Ichiraku’s sounds great, I’m _starving_.”

“Forehead! You could’ve had one of my protein bars, why didn’t you ask?”

“Oh, I guess I just forgot.” Sakura shot Ino a smile of her own, choosing not to tell her friend how much she actually hated her protein bars and would rather starve than eat one out of her own free will.

Sakura quickly stood up and closed her laptop before grabbing her jacket—which she’d removed at some point during the morning—her wallet, and phone and following her friend to the elevator. Thankfully, no one joined the two girls in the elevator ride, and Sakura took the time to inspect her reflection in the mirror as she shrugged on her jacket and slid her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. As she’d suspected, the dark circles under her eyes weren’t nearly as bad as Ino made them sound like.

“Like what you see?” Ino smirked at Sakura as the elevator reached the ground floor and the doors slid open with a soft _ping_.

All Sakura did in return was stick her tongue out at her friend and walked out before the blonde could. The sun outside the building was shining pretty brightly and for the first time since the year started, Sakura was thankful for actually feeling its warmth doing its job on her skin. From there on the weather would only get better and she could honestly hardly wait for it.

The library was located on the farthest end of campus and the two girls settled into a nice, easy pace when walking past the buildings. Sure, they were pretty hungry but going fast meant they’d also be done with their break faster, and they could really use the time off at the moment. It wasn’t long before Ino started telling Sakura all about the TA for one of her professors and how she was just one step away from asking him out herself.

Ino momentarily lost her train of thought as her eyes caught movement coming from their left. There were a bunch of guys taking advantage of the slightly warmer sun by playing a rookie match of football on KU’s main square, right in front of Hashirama Hall. Sakura giggled as her friend openly watched the boys as the two of them crossed the square and, of course, attracted just as many stares in return. 

Unfortunately, the momentary silence led Sakura to unconsciously turn her head to the other end of the square where the Administrative building stood. Her eyes immediately went to the third floor, even though Kakashi’s office had a view of the forest that circled campus on the opposite side and not of the main square. Rolling her eyes at her own stupidity, Sakura scolded herself mentally. It’s not like there was even any possibility of him _being_ there since the building was always closed on Sundays.

“I’ve given him a billion different signs, it never takes this long!” Ino’s voice mercifully hooked Sakura’s attention back to her as soon as they turned the corner.

Momentarily confused having actually forgotten what Ino had been talking about, Sakura observed her friend as she twirled the end of her blonde ponytail between her perfectly manicured fingers. Oh, right, the TA.

“Maybe he’s dating someone,” Sakura suggested, shrugging.

Ino shot her a disdainful look, one blonde eyebrow raised sceptically in her forehead. No words were necessary for Sakura to know exactly what her friend was thinking: _‘that’s never stopped any other guy before’_. Choosing against addressing _that_ any further and not wanting to encourage her friend to do so, Sakura immediately jumped to the first subject that came into mind.

“I saw Neji yesterday.”

“Really?” Ino asked, the prospect of receiving fresh gossip making the side of her lips curl up. “How’d he look?”

“Normal, I guess.” Sakura shrugged. “It was weird.”

“ _Normal_ weird or _weirder_ weird?”

“Normal weird. I just want him and Tenten to figure their shit out for once, I don’t know how many more years I can take of this.”

The two girls settled for dissecting the years that consisted of Tenten and Neji’s on and off relationship as they walked the rest of the way to Ichiraku’s, and it wasn’t long until they were crossing the street to the opposing sidewalk and pushed open the restaurant’s door. Surprisingly enough, the establishment wasn’t nearly as full as Sakura had expected it to be, considering the fact that the library was completely packed. In fact, there was only one table occupied in the entire restaurant, with four guys she recognised as also being pre-med chatting over their bowls of ramen. She guessed the fact that it was almost two in the afternoon had a lot to play into the lack of a crowd inside, though.

Regardless, an empty restaurant meant a quicker restaurant. It wasn’t long before Sakura and Ino ordered what they wanted and then settled in their usual spot at the far corner of the room, both of their jackets thrown over the bench Sakura sat at. The table looked particularly large with only the two of them instead of the usually larger numbers of their group but the peace and quiet of the nearly empty restaurant did wonders for Sakura’s anxious mind at the moment. 

She was grateful for how little time it took until she had a steaming bowl of miso ramen placed in front of her, her stomach now borderline aching from how hungry she actually was. The girls kept on talking throughout their meal, the conversation shifting from Tenten and Neji to Naruto and Hinata at some point. At that moment, Sakura was more than grateful she’d decided to join Ino for the day since this mindless, carefree gossiping session truly was doing wonders to distract her mind as she’d ardently hoped it would.

“So, Sai and I made a bet,” Ino announced as she expertly used her chopsticks to dip the noodles into the broth in her bowl, “about Naruto and Hinata. _I_ think they’ll finally get the balls to hook up before we graduate.”

Sakura wasn’t entirely sure whether the two of them _hadn’t_ hooked up yet, but she had no concrete proof to back up her suspicions other than a few discreet PDA moments she’d picked up between Hinata and Naruto over the past few months. And sure enough, even if she did know for sure, she knew better than to tell Ino anything about it. There was a thin line separating innocent, harmless gossiping from disrespecting someone else’s personal business and Sakura would hate to cross it. If her friends wanted privacy, then she’d make sure they’d get it.

“And Sai doesn’t?” She asked instead, one eyebrow rising in her forehead. 

“Well, you know Sai is pretty sure Naruto doesn’t even _have_ balls in the first place.” Ino’s answer caused Sakura to snort at the mention of the years-long inside joke. 

If Sakura was being particularly honest with herself, she’d always found Sai and Ino’s friendship to be somewhat surprising. Sai had been extremely socially stunted when they’d first met about six years before, and there had been countless times when the boy would just go ahead and ask extremely inappropriate and borderline offensive questions without even knowing. Unlike everyone else, Ino had found Sai’s antics to be highly amusing and, sure enough, the blonde took it upon herself to take the pale guy under her wing and show him her ways.

What had at first been sheer curiosity and lack of social sense from Sai’s side had turned out to significantly complement Ino’s love for gossip and bold personality in a way that no one from the group had actually predicted. And now, six years later, their friendship had pretty much solidified beyond anyone else’s expectations and Sakura couldn’t help but recognise that they fit really well together.

“Hey, I know that _look_ ,” Ino raised one blonde eyebrow at Sakura, a smirk forming on her lips as the anticipation to hear what Sakura was thinking about grew. “Spill it, Forehead.”

Sakura felt herself smiling at Ino’s badgering for more gossip. She knew better than to think there could be anything going on between the blonde and Sai but it was still an amusing thought to be had, so she guessed it wouldn’t hurt to share it.

“I was just thinking about you and Sai.”

“What about us?” Ino frowned.

“I don’t know, I guess you two would be actually really good together.” Sakura shrugged nonchalantly, her eyes down on her bowl as she watched where she used her chopsticks.

The lack of response from Ino after a few seconds was enough to trigger Sakura’s attention, though, and she looked up to see whether her friend had listened to her. What she hadn’t expected was to see a faint blush on her friend’s shocked face, a sight Sakura was one hundred per cent sure she’d never seen before.

“Oh, my god.” Sakura put her chopsticks down, her mouth hanging open as she stared at Ino. “ _You like Sai!_ ”

“I do _not_ ,” Ino screeched. “Stop being stupid!”

Sakura was just about to open her mouth to retort, peals of incredulous laughter escaping her lips at the sight of a blushing Ino when the sound of the little bell rang and announced the front door was being opened. Normally she’d ignore it, but there was _something_ telling Sakura she wouldn’t be able to do that just then. Her eyes moved to stare at the door on their own accord and Sakura felt all of her blood rush away from her face as they landed on the person she’d been desperately trying not to think of for the past twelve hours.

And he was looking straight at her.

“Hey! _Forehead_ ,” Ino’s voice made Sakura snap back into attention, and all of the blood that had drained from her head came rushing back and heated her face as she stared at her friend. “ _Drop it_ , okay? Unless you want me to start saying the same shit about you and Shika.”

“Mhmm,” Sakura hummed, not trusting herself to speak at the moment. Thankfully, Ino was apparently much too annoyed—and honestly kinda desperate, Sakura couldn’t help but notice—to realise there was anything wrong.

Kakashi and Genma were standing right at the entrance of the restaurant, both of them staring at her and frozen to their spot. While Genma had a huge grin on his lips that showed he was very pleasantly surprised with seeing her there, Kakashi just _stared_. He didn’t look angry, from what little she could gather from reading his expression, but he didn’t look _normal_ either. Honestly, if she had to guess, Sakura was pretty sure she looked the same at the moment. Just really fucking freaked out.

Sakura mentally kicked herself at her stupidity and focused her eyes on Ino once again, who was mercifully too busy fighting with the stubborn egg that kept falling from her chopsticks to notice the fact that Sakura kept darting her eyes to the door like an insane person. Still, she was able to see on her peripheral vision as Genma started moving in her direction and Kakashi grabbed his forearm to stop him from doing so. Another blush started climbing up Sakura’s neck at the sight, not knowing whether he’d done it because he didn’t want to speak to her or because he had a sense it wouldn’t be smart to approach her right now. Judging by the fact that Kakashi didn’t just turn around and leave the restaurant, Sakura allowed herself to hope it was the latter.

Ino had gone back to talking but, for the life of her, Sakura had no fucking idea what it was about. All she did was nod along and focus on her peripheral vision as Kakashi and Genma made their way to a two-people table by the window, as far from Sakura’s table as it was humanly possible. Thankfully, Ino’s phone started buzzing and she busied herself with answering the texts she’d just gotten, allowing Sakura to look over at the two guys as they reached their table.

Genma started to take off his jacket as he sneakily jumped around Kakashi and took the seat that had its back to Sakura. She almost chuckled as Kakashi shot his friend a murderous glance and turned to take the seat that had a clear vision to her, but the nervousness rushing through her veins made it impossible for her to do so. Kakashi didn’t waste time at all before sitting down since he was using nothing but a dark-grey sweater to protect him from the chilly weather and didn’t need to remove any layers before making himself comfortable. 

By now Sakura had seen him in the open air more than enough times to know Kakashi either didn’t get cold easily or he actually just really enjoyed it, so she guessed the way both sleeves of his sweater were pushed back to show off his forearms shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Still, Sakura mentally scolded herself for the heat that immediately climbed up her neck to her cheeks at the sight of his exposed skin.

The mental image of her finding the bruises earlier that morning flooded Sakura’s brain and it didn’t help _at all_ with the situation at hand. She knew she looked really fucking red at the moment and she was literally one step away from going to the ladies room and throwing some cold water on her face but Sakura was terrified of the prospect of _moving_. She just didn’t think she could handle anything that would attract any more attention to herself at the moment, so she did her very best to shut down any shamelessly horny thoughts she was having and instead focused on the fact that _he was there_.

What the fuck was Kakashi even _doing_ at Ichiraku’s? She thought he’d never been there before and why the hell would he go on a _Sunday_? Sakura knew her mental arguing was completely irrational and it made perfect sense for him to want to eat out on a Sunday, but not on _her fucking restaurant_. He _knew_ she liked it there, he _knew_ she frequently went there, _she_ was the one that told him about it in the first place! Did he not think he could run into her? Or… _did_ he?

Sakura’s mind was cursing profusely as she watched Kakashi across the room but all of the mental noise ceased to complete silence as soon as his eyes moved and met hers. At that moment Sakura could perfectly read what was stamped in his charcoal eyes and she understood he was just as nervous and freaked out as she was. The small, sheepish smile he shot her after a beat caused a wave of relief to wash over Sakura.

She was still nervous as hell but at least she wasn’t the only one.

“Are you okay?” Ino asked as she put her phone down, once again calling Sakura’s attention back to her own table.

Sakura was significantly calmer this time around, though, and she allowed herself to let out a long exhale as she smiled at her friend. 

“Sure.” Sakura nodded. “I just got caught up in my own head.”

Ino didn’t need any other explanation from Sakura and quickly jumped back into what she’d been talking about before her phone rang: Shikamaru and Temari. Sakura kept her mouth sealed shut about the stuff Shika had told her, of course, knowing she’d never break her friend’s trust in any way. Still, she allowed Ino to steer the conversation and let out strategically placed giggles as the blonde spoke, her highest priority at the moment being to just not let Ino realise anything was off. 

Sakura had been absurdly lucky her friend had been way too distracted to pay attention to anything that had happened in the past minute, and she could _not_ screw this up. After all, the mere prospect of having _Ino_ connecting the dots made a cold sweat break through the small of Sakura’s back. This would be so much worse than Naruto and Shikamaru catching her and Kakashi almost red-handed not even twelve hours earlier—Sakura fought against a violent blush at the reminder—and she knew she had to play her cards right, with no room for mistakes available. 

Thankfully, she and Ino had been almost done with their lunch by the time Kakashi and Genma had arrived. Sakura anxiously counted down the seconds until Ino finally finished her bowl—the blonde just preferred speaking over actually eating and that usually meant she was a very slow eater—and soon enough the time came. Sakura let out a relieved sigh as she grabbed her wallet from where she’d placed it on the table next to her bowl, but the sound of Ino’s chair scraping the floor as she stood up made Sakura curiously look up.

“Just a sec,” Ino grinned as she fished a tampon out of her wallet and made her way to the ladies room.

Sakura watched as her friend walked away and then took advantage of her being alone to turn her head to look at Kakashi as he slouched lazily in his chair. He hadn’t been looking at her when she did but it took less than two seconds for him to meet her gaze, which made the corners of Sakura’s lips tug upwards involuntarily. He’d actually been paying attention to her even from across the room and it really warmed her heart to know so. 

Still, they said nothing for a few seconds. Genma apparently realised something was going on and he quickly turned in his seat to check whether his suspicions were true. As soon as he saw Sakura sitting alone at the table, a huge grin broke through his lips.

“Pink! Looking good.”

“Hey,” Sakura’s smile stretched. “You don’t look half as hungover as I thought you would.”

“Excuse me, I’m not _Tenzou_ ,” Genma looked at her with a feigned insult. “Some of us can actually hold our liquor, thank you very much.”

Sakura giggled at his words and moved her eyes from Genma’s grinning face to meet Kakashi’s again. At some point during Sakura and Genma’s interaction, he’d hoisted himself up from his slouch and hunched over the table, his eyes cast down to watch as one of his fingers lazily traced the rim of the cup of his tap water as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

“For _fuck’s_ sake, I don’t have time for this,” Genma groaned after following Sakura’s lead and looked over at Kakashi. “Her friend’s gone, you dumbass.”

“She’s just in the ladies room,” Sakura was quick to clarify.

Kakashi looked up from his cup to shoot Genma a look that clearly said ‘ _see, you fucking idiot?_ ’ but the brunet seemed completely unfazed.

“Sakura, Kakashi wants to speak to you.” Genma turned completely in his seat to stare at Sakura, turning his back on his friend.

“I can handle this, you fucking asshole,” Kakashi snarled.

“ _Can_ you?” Genma turned his head to look at Kakashi from over his shoulder. “Because you’ve been doing a really shitty job so far.”

Sakura heard the sound of the ladies room door opening just around the corner and she quickly made up her mind. It took her less than two seconds to pull her phone from the table and slide it under their jackets where they were laid right next to her on the bench, and she managed to do so just before Ino showed up again.

“Okay, let’s hit it, Forehead. God knows I still have a lot of shit to cover and very little time to do so.”

Sakura didn’t say anything as she grabbed both of their jackets and stood up, purposefully leaving her phone behind. Ino thanked her as she took her corduroy jacket from Sakura’s hand and led the way to the counter. Neither Ayame nor Teuchi-san were standing there and it took a few seconds until the brunette showed up, quickly smiling at the girls as she took their payment and asked how their meal was.

Sakura could feel Kakashi’s stare drilling her back the entire time she stood by the counter. As Ino touched her debit card to the wireless machine, all Sakura could do was focus on not letting the violent blush she felt creeping up her neck to wash over her. She started counting from one to ten in her mind but she’d just reached number six when Ino turned to her and frowned as she shrugged her own jacket on.

“Why the fuck are you so red?”

“Too hot in here.” Sakura shrugged, the grip she had on her wallet tightening.

Ino smirked before shooting a quick goodbye to Ayame and walking over to the door while putting her card back on her wallet. Sakura smiled at the brunette standing behind the corner and followed suit, not even glancing in the direction where Kakashi and Genma sat.

The slightly chilly air outside did wonders to relieve Sakura’s heated skin but she was still way too hot to put on her jacket, so she did nothing to move it from here it slung over her forearm. Falling into step next to Ino as they crossed the street back to campus in silence, Sakura allowed herself to pull herself together before she followed through with her plan. Each second that passed with Sakura and Ino walking through the campus’ paths consisted of Sakura counting from one to one hundred, trying out Tenten’s breathing techniques as she did her best to not freak out.

As soon as they stepped into KU’s main square, Sakura knew they were far enough Ino wouldn’t walk back to Ichiraku’s with her.

“Oh, shit,” Sakura swore, her hand flying to the back pockets of her jeans. “I think I dropped my phone at Ichiraku’s.”

“Shit, want me to call it?”

“No, it’s okay.” Sakura shook her head. “I’ll just go back and see if it’s there.”

“Okay, then,” Ino said. “Do you want me to go back with you?”

“No, Pig, go study.” Sakura smiled. “Don’t worry, really.”

“Ugh, _fine_.” Ino dramatically rolled her eyes and then grinned before she turned and resumed the path that led to the library.

Sakura wasted no time before turning around and making her way back, her heart thumping progressively harder in her chest with each step she took. Her grip on her wallet was so tight she saw her knuckles were white with tension as she glanced down.

The walk back to the restaurant was at the same time achingly slow and mercilessly fast. Sakura was certain she was on the verge of a mental breakdown as she once again crossed the street she’d just walked by less than ten minutes before. Her eyes immediately went to the window and she wasn’t surprised to see Genma’s wide grin as he watched her from his seat inside the restaurant.

She averted her eyes as she reached the door but was able to see Kakashi turning his head to watch her from her peripheral vision. Still, she fixed her stare on Ayame behind the counter as she took care of the payment of the pre-med guys who’d stayed at the restaurant a bit longer than Sakura and Ino had.

“Sakura!” Ayame grinned at her, looking around the four customers to do so. “You left your phone here, I just saw it on the bench. It’s still there!”

“Yeah, I noticed I didn’t have it with me.” Sakura shot her a grateful smile in return. “Thanks for keeping it safe.”

“Of course, I’d guard it with my life,” the brunette joked before shooting Sakura a final smile and focusing back on the students.

Sakura walked over to the table and picked up her phone from where she’d left it, her hands shaking as she did so. Straightening up, she wasn’t surprised at all to find both Kakashi and Genma staring at her with amused expressions in their faces.

“Fifty bucks that was intentional,” Genma said, nodding his chin at the phone clasped in Sakura’s hands.

Sakura rolled her eyes at him and placed both her phone and her wallet on the table as she shrugged her jacket on, doing her very best to not show how fucking nervous she was. 

“You must be pretty confident to make such a high bet,” Sakura said as she now slid her phone onto the back pocket of her jeans and grabbed her wallet once again.

“You’re actually gonna pretend it _wasn’t_ on purpose?” Genma smirked at her. “Come _on_ , Pink.”

Sakura was just about to retort—she’d deny the charges against her until her death even though Genma was one hundred per cent right—when the other group that had been eating in the restaurant finished paying and left. Sakura looked over her shoulder and noticed Ayame had disappeared into the kitchen, out of earshot. Looking back at the guys, she waited for someone to that the first step—hopefully, Kakashi.

God, was she going to have to ask him? Sakura was pretty sure getting rid of Ino and walking all the way back to the restaurant made it clear enough that she wanted to speak to Kakashi, would it fucking _kill_ him to actually start the conversation?

Apparently, it would. Kakashi remained absolutely immobile as he stared at her, clearly not at all willing to take the first step.

“ _For fuck’s sake_ , you two.” Genma groaned after a few seconds. “I’m gonna have a fucking fit, I’m not joking.”

“Do you know what ‘mind your fucking business’ means?” Kakashi asked as he leaned forward onto the table.

“Bakashi, I’m leaving in less than twenty-four hours. If you think I won’t do what I have to do to make sure the two of you fucking talk, you’re stupider than I thought.”

“Oh, _god_ ,” Sakura intervened before Kakashi could say anything else, her annoyance morphing into courage and prompting her to just get this over with. “Genma’s right, I need to ask you something.”

Kakashi nodded and stood up without hesitation, which made Sakura feel a little bit better with the entire situation. Genma shot her a thumbs-up as soon as Kakashi turned around and made his way to the front door. Like it or not, Genma’s ridiculous support helped in making the tight knot that had settled in Sakura’s stomach to ease a little.

She followed Kakashi and thanked him as he held the door open for her to pass through first. Her entire body was slightly shaking as she turned around on the sidewalk to face him, and Sakura knew it had little to do with the cold.

“Yo,” he said, one hand going up to the back of his neck as he shot her an uncertain smile.

“Hey,” Sakura said back a little more breathlessly than she’d have liked, crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest in a desperate attempt to stop herself from trembling. She couldn’t believe she had _straddled_ that man on a fucking _bench_ twelve hours before. “How you holding up?”

“I barely slept at all,” Kakashi admitted, lowering his arm so that both of his hands settled into their usual place in the front pockets of his jeans. Sakura did her best to avert her eyes from his exposed forearms before she became too distracted by the sight. “You?”

“Ino said she’d be giving me a concealer for my birthday to hide the circles under my eyes,” Sakura chuckled before realising Kakashi didn’t know who Ino was and then felt the need to explain. “Ino’s that blonde girl that was with me.”

Kakashi smiled at the first part of Sakura’s answer and also probably at her nervous babbling before raising one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Sakura…”

Sakura counted three beats of her heart—which was easy enough considering they were echoing loudly in her ears—for him to continue but only silence followed the mention of her name. She nearly had a heart attack when she realised Kakashi wouldn’t fucking say anything else as his hand moved back to his pocket. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could take this shitty communication, she really didn’t.

“What?” Sakura pressed. “Just say it.”

“I don’t… I’m not good at this.” Kakashi shook his head. “I don’t know how this goes.”

“This what? A conversation?”

“You know just as much as I do this isn’t just a conversation.”

Sakura sighed. Yes, she knew that, of course she did. There were so many things she wanted to say but there was absolutely no courage in her body to actually say them, especially when she didn’t know why the _fuck_ Kakashi wasn’t speaking. Was he just as nervous as she was or did he just not care at all? Was this just an annoying situation for him? Was Sakura on the verge of a mental breakdown over _nothing_?

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi said and Sakura was pretty sure he could read the uneasiness in her face. Sakura had never been good with shielding her thoughts from the world, which she found to be highly unfair when she was talking to a man that could be easily described as being the complete opposite. “I’m being serious when I say I don’t know how this goes. I don’t know what to say, just… _god_.”

“Okay.” Sakura nodded, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She uncrossed her arms and stuffed both hands into the pockets of her denim jacket, the wallet clasped in her left hand making it a tight fit. “It’s okay. Just… Okay, I think we can handle simple questions, right?”

Kakashi looked down at her for a few seconds, his charcoal eyes burning with something Sakura had no idea how to interpret. Still, she guessed it wasn’t bad, since the next words that came out of his mouth were:

“Yeah, I think we can handle that.”

Sakura could see how big of a struggle it was for Kakashi to talk and deal with what was going on, even though she wasn’t sure she truly understood it at the moment. She wasn’t sure what it actually meant, if he was just generally bad at communication in general or whether he wasn’t sure how to get rid of her, but Sakura was pretty sure he wouldn’t be letting this entire situation be dragged on like it was if it was the latter. That’s all she could hope for, at least.

“Ok, I’ll go first,” she said, eager to just rip the band-aid off now that they were actually doing this. “Do you want to pretend nothing happened or do you want to, I don’t know, talk about it?”

“I don’t want to pretend nothing happened,” Kakashi answered immediately and then seemed to catch himself on it. “Unless that’s what you want.”

“No, I don’t want that either,” Sakura said in return, willing herself to not let the relief to wash over her just yet. “Kakashi, we need to be honest here, ok? Really. Like, I know it’s not easy, at least for me it’s not, but we need to.”

He nodded, his charcoal eyes reflecting nothing but seriousness as he stared down at her. He didn’t say anything, though.

“Because... I don’t think it’d be fair to either of us if we weren’t completely open with each other when it comes to this. So… yeah,” Sakura went on, her heartbeat echoing in her ears as she searched his eyes for some kind of answer as to what he felt. “Your turn.”

“Do you want to keep on training?” Kakashi asked without wasting a single beat.

“Yes,” Sakura answered without hesitation. “Unless you don’t, which I’d completely understand.”

“I do.” Kakashi shot her a small smile and Sakura was surprised at the sheer _relief_ she saw stamped in his usually well-guarded face. “Okay, that’s good. I can pick you up on Tuesday, then? Unless you want to put this week on hold because of midterms.”

“Please,” Sakura scoffed. “I don’t have any on Tuesday. Also, I can handle the midterms blindfolded.”

“Not mine.” Kakashi grinned, shaking his head at her. “ _Definitely_ not mine.”

“ _Yes_ , yours too. Already aced one, what’s another?”

Kakashi’s grin widened at that and Sakura finally allowed the relief to ease into her. Things were okay, they really were. They’d figure this out.

“I built this midterm to be _completely_ Sakura-proof. I’m actually feeling sorry for the other students, they don’t stand a chance.”

“Kakashi! You need to stop being such an asshole to your students!” Sakura shot him an indignant look. “You can’t use your personal vendetta against me to fuck them over.”

“For the first time in seven years I’m actually having fun at my job and you tell me to _stop_?”

“I want you to be fair to the others, then, yes.”

“Hm, maybe in the finals.” Kakashi shrugged and then smirked as Sakura rolled her eyes.

“I honestly don’t know how you haven’t been fired yet.” She shook her head at him but couldn’t stop the grin from taking over her lips.

“That makes it two of us.”

Sakura laughed at that, not quite being able to comprehend the full range of the disregard the man standing before her had when dealing with his teaching career. She couldn’t help but wonder why the hell he was still doing it when it was clear it wasn’t something he liked to do. Maybe she’d get to ask him about it someday and actually get a full answer in return, instead of the mysterious one-liners he usually gave her when she started asking questions.

“I should go back before Ino comes looking for me,” Sakura glanced at the direction that led to the library and then looked back up at Kakashi again.

“Yeah, about that... I didn’t know if I could have approached you or not when we walked in. I had a feeling I shouldn’t.”

“Oh, yeah! I was terrified you wouldn’t realise! Thank god you did,” Sakura exclaimed. “Trust me, we do _not_ need her sniffing around us.”

Kakashi chuckled and smiled down at her. Sakura could see he was working up the courage to say something and she patiently waited until he figured it out.

“I’ll try to suck less at this thing on Tuesday.”

“What thing, talking?” Sakura couldn’t help but let the corner of her lips curl up at the adorableness of this.

“Yeah,” Kakashi raised a hand to the back of his neck. “It’s just… I just never bother. To talk, I mean. And, I don’t know, working through things, I guess. I just always step back from anything complicated and wait for it to work itself out, and you know I’ve never been with anyone… well, you know. But I want to, now, I do.” His eyes widened then as he realised what he’d just said. “ _Work this out_ , I mean.” 

Sakura was doing her best to stop herself from smiling but she knew she wasn’t doing a very convincing job at it. It was just so cute to see _Kakashi_ , who was usually so well-composed and sure of himself, completely lose his shit when trying to talk to her. It made her feel a lot better to know she wasn’t the only one nervous as hell.

“Don’t worry, okay?” Sakura said, looking up at him with a smile on her face. “I’m not so good with this either. Better than you, yeah, but that’s not saying much.”

Kakashi snorted at that and Sakura’s smile widened in response. 

“Really, though, we’ll figure it out.” She nodded at him. “No pressure.”

“That sounds good,” Kakashi said.

Sakura turned her head away from him to find Genma intently watching them from the other side of the glass. He had his eyes slightly narrowed in a way that made Sakura almost one hundred per cent sure he was trying to read their lips as they spoke. Bursting in laughter at the realisation, Sakura watched from the corner of her eye as Kakashi turned to stare at his friend too.

“For fuck’s sake, he’s such an idiot,” he said.

“Genma’s _great_!” Sakura defended him and jokingly slapped Kakashi’s bicep. “Don’t you dare say otherwise. I’ve heard the threats you make him and you’ll have to go through me first to get to him.”

Kakashi slowly turned to stare down at her, his mouth hanging up in feigned indignation.

“You can’t be serious. You’d actually protect _him_ over _me_?” He pointed at his friend through the glass but Sakura didn’t move her eyes away from Kakashi’s to see Genma’s reaction.

“Let’s hope it never comes to that, hm?” Sakura said and walked past Kakashi back into the restaurant.

She heard his incredulous laughter behind her back as she pushed the door open and made her way inside, happy to see there was still no one behind the counter. Genma was the only person left in the restaurant and Sakura couldn’t help but giggle at the expectant grin stamped on his face.

“What the hell was that last bit about? You guys were pointing at me.”

“Don’t pretend you weren’t reading our lips,” Kakashi answered as he stepped in behind Sakura and let the door close behind them.

“I was _trying_!” Genma said. “Doesn’t mean I succeeded.”

“Well, I guess you should work on those skills, then.” Sakura shrugged and won a snort from Kakashi in return. Her heart literally skipped a beat at this, as ridiculous as it actually was and she looked over her shoulder to smile up at him.

“Can’t believe you two are ganging up on me now.” Genma shook his head and closed his eyes in feigned disappointment. “After everything I’ve done.”

“ _Because_ of everything you’ve done, asshat,” Kakashi said without missing a beat.

The sound of Sakura’s phone buzzing in her back pocket rudely pulled her back to reality. She quickly pulled it out to check who it was and had her suspicions confirmed with the text that showed up on her locked screen.

Ino Pig: _Found it?_

Sakura was just about to put the phone back in her pocket without opening the message when another text arrived.

Ino Pig: _Just realised u can’t read this if u haven’t found the phone. Oops lol_

Sakura snorted and finally put her phone back in her jeans’ pocket.

“I should go back,” she announced what she was sure didn’t come as a surprise to either of the guys and then spoke to Genma next. “Can we not do the goodbye thing again? I really hate them and doing two in twelves hours is just mean.”

“Agreed.” Genma nodded. “I do want a hug, though.”

“I’ll allow it,” Sakura grinned and walked over at Genma as he rose up from his seat.

He pulled her into a tight hug as soon as Sakura came within his range and, even though they were technically refusing to do the whole goodbye thing again, Sakura’s heart clenched painfully nonetheless. She knew she hadn’t properly known this guy for more than a month but Sakura had gotten used to and grown attached to his sassy and amazing personality. Genma truly was a great guy and she’d love to have more time to build a proper friendship with him.

Maybe next time.

“You know what’d be pretty cool?” Genma asked as he pulled away from the hug. “If by the time I came back there was a drink at the bar named after me.”

“Hm,” Sakura hummed, bringing her index finger to rest against her chin as she pretended to be deep in thought. “Yeah... but I don’t think it’s possible to make such a nasty drink that would live up to its name, though.”

Kakashi let out a laugh for that, a _proper_ laugh. It was such a rare thing to see one of those that Sakura actually completely ignored Genma’s fake outraged stare as she turned her head to stare at Kakashi with a smile playing on her lips. He had moved and sat at his seat while Sakura had been hugging Genma, and the sight of him slouched in his chair as he laughed his ass off over something _she’d_ said was enough to make her heart flutter wildly inside her chest.

The only other time she’d managed to see him laughing like this had been on the day she’d spent in his studio after their first training session, when they’d been cooking pasta and just had an insane amount of fun together. That had honestly been one of Sakura’s favourite days in her entire life, simple enough as it had been, and the memory of it brought another surge of warmth to spread on her chest. She was just about to say something about it when her eyes landed on Genma again and she caught sight of the knowing smirk he had in his face.

“What?” She asked, both eyebrows slightly rising in her forehead.

“Nothing.”

“It’s clearly _something_.”

“Kakashi would kill me if I say what I’m thinking in front of him,” Genma smirked.

“Oh, we’ve established that he needs to get past me before getting to you,” Sakura replied in all seriousness. “You’re safe now.”

Now it was Genma’s turn to laugh as Kakashi shook his head in sheer incredulity.

“Can your bodyguard privileges extend to protect me from the dog, too?” Genma asked.

“No, sorry.” Sakura shook her head. “There’s nothing I’d deny Pakkun, ever.”

She moved her eyes to stare at Kakashi just to see one of the most genuine smiles she’d ever seen take shape on his lips. The fact that he didn’t even try to hide it from her was enough to make Sakura’s knees go all mushy, for reasons she wasn’t really quite ready to face just yet.

The sound of Genma’s light chuckle made her look back at him once again.

“So, what did you wanna say?” She prodded him again, trying to push away the image of Kakashi’s smile from her head and miserably failing.

“As much as I trust your bodyguard intentions, Pink, there’s still a lot of things I want to do with my life and if I say it my journey ends tonight.”

“Good choice,” Kakashi chimed in from his seat and jokingly raised an eyebrow in return to the glare Sakura sent him.

“I’ll tell you next time I’m around, what about that?” Genma asked.

“And you think you’ll remember it?” Sakura placed a hand on her waist as she cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, for sure. No way I’d forget.”

“And Kakashi won’t kill you then?”

“Nah, definitely won’t.”

Sakura wanted to ask Genma why the hell he thought Kakashi’s reaction would change over the years more than anything but she knew he wouldn’t answer her. Also, she knew better than to delve any deeper into how certain Genma was that he’d be able to meet her by the next time he came back to Konoha. That would certainly lead to an awkward conversation and that was the last thing Sakura wanted at the moment.

Instead, she smiled at them once again and started to slowly walk backwards to where she knew the door stood.

“Well, enjoy your lunch, then,” she said to both of them.

“Will do,” Kakashi said in return.

“See ya, Pink,” Genma raised a hand in goodbye as she finally reached the door. “Nail those midterms, kay?”

“Will do,” she said the same thing Kakashi said with a smile playing on her lips and walked out of Ichiraku’s without looking back.

.

.

.

Kakashi had had many sleepless nights in his life. Most of them were due to the fact that Kakashi never truly believed himself to be worthy of getting a full night’s sleep after the way his nearly eight years in the army had ended. Call it survivor’s guilt or whatever, like all of the therapists he’d been forced to see after being discharged had, but it didn’t make what Kakashi felt any less real for him.

Yet, the night leading up to Monday had been the first one in _years_ that Kakashi didn’t sleep simply because it would be a waste of valuable time. When dawn slowly started to show on Monday morning and Kakashi found himself snapping at Genma to _fucking watch it or he’d keep dropping pancake batter on the kitchen floor_ , he knew those extra hours they’d spent together had been worth it.

The weeks had passed and the two months Genma had as vacation came to an end. While Kakashi was glad he’d once again have his flat all to himself and Pakkun again—just the thought of not having to do damage control in the bathroom every fucking time Genma flooded it with his showers made a wave of relief wash over Kakashi—he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t miss having his friend around.

Kakashi thought he would have gotten used to goodbyes at this point but he hadn’t. Sure, he knew how to deal with them: maybe it wasn’t the healthiest way possible but Kakashi found pushing any ounce of pain away to the furthest corner of his mind to be highly effective. But the pain was still there, and Kakashi knew that every second that ticked by was bringing them closer to the point they’d have to go separate ways.

It never really got any easier.

But still, Kakashi did nothing but enjoy his friend’s company for the last few hours they had together. Even though every single ounce of his being was telling him to _shut down_ and push Genma away because it was just so much easier to say goodbye to someone you were pissed at, Kakashi forced himself to not allow his terrible defence mechanisms to act up this time. He’d told Sakura the day before he’d try to be less shitty at dealing with complicated things and this was the very first step he would take.

So, the two men laughed and cursed at each other as if it were any other morning and Kakashi actively busied himself with the dishes so he wouldn’t have to watch as Genma packed the rest of the stuff he’d left out until the last possible minute. Way sooner than it had any right to be, Genma was all packed and not even his toothbrush stood in the bathroom as a promise that he’d come back. 

Checking the time on the microwave as he walked away from the now clean kitchen sink, Kakashi realised they only had twenty-five minutes left until the car that was picking up Genma arrived.

“Guess this is it,” Genma said, walking over to the dark granite island in Kakashi’s kitchen and propping himself up on one of the stools.

“I know I didn’t say anything at the bar when everyone was talking about it but you really don’t have to wait two years to come back again.”

“I know I don’t _have_ to,” Genma chuckled. “And I probably won’t this time. If I do it’ll be the last, for sure. I’m getting old, we have to face it.”

Kakashi felt one of his eyebrows rising at that.

“What, you thinking of retirement? You won’t even be forty the next time you come back here.”

“I don’t know.” Genma shrugged. “I’ve done more than enough, we both know that. I just don’t know if I’m really okay being that far away from you guys for so long anymore, you know?”

Kakashi knew. Even though he’d never felt anything like that when he’d been in the army, being more than content with the partners he had around him at all time back then, he couldn’t blame Genma for feeling like this now.

“I already missed Asuma and Kurenai’s wedding, I don’t want to miss anything else,” Genma carried on, looking down at his hands as they were clasped together on the counter.

As he thought over what to say to that, Kakashi walked over to the fridge and grabbed two beers out of it and made quick work of opening them. Sure, it was six something in the morning but he’d be damned if he wouldn’t have one last beer with his mate before he left.

“You won’t,” Kakashi walked the few steps until he reached his side of the counter and handed Genma his beer before leaning over the dark granite, mimicking Genma and resting his forearms on the surface as he clasped his hands together. “That was a special situation, you know that.”

“Yeah, but who’s to say it won’t happen again? _You_ know that more than anyone.”

Kakashi had nothing to say to that so he took a sip of his own beer instead of replying. It was true, he knew better than anyone else how quickly shit managed to hit the fan when you were in the army, so Kakashi truly understood why Genma wanted to retire soon. There wasn’t a single reason for Kakashi to be playing devil’s advocate at the moment and he knew he wasn’t doing that even if it might look like he was. 

‘Communicating’ was turning out to be a bit harder than he’d thought—and that was saying _a lot_.

“It’ll be great to have you here, old man,” Kakashi chuckled, making it clear to Genma that he supported his decision after all.

“ _Old man_?” Genma narrowed his eyes at Kakashi. “How _dare_ you, you’re the only one who’s got grey hair here.”

The next few minutes went by with Kakashi and Genma throwing cheap shots at each other and genuinely enjoying their beers and the last minutes they had together.

“You’re different this time,” Genma said as his fingers removed the label from his now almost empty bottle. “I wasn’t gonna say anything but I’m curious.”

“What do you mean, I’m different?” Kakashi asked, even though he already knew the answer. All he wanted was some time to think about how to handle what was bound to come next.

“You usually shut me out when I’m leaving,” Genma explained even though he knew Kakashi was very aware of what he’d meant. “I understand why you do it and I always let you because I know better than to try to reason with you, but you’re not doing it this time.”

“So what?” Kakashi shrugged at him, not particularly enjoying where the conversation was headed.

“ _So_ , I want to know why.”

“You know damn well why, don’t make me say it.”

“I know _who_ accomplished this undoable feat but I don’t know _how_ she did it.”

Kakashi was literally just about to tell Genma to fuck off and let it go before he stopped himself and took a long sip from his beer instead. He knew this talk with Genma wouldn’t even be nearly as difficult as the one he would have with Sakura the next morning and he really wanted to _do_ _better_ for that. Sure, Sakura didn’t annoy Kakashi like Genma did, but he was willing to suffer through this in the name of self-improvement.

“We’re gonna talk tomorrow. Like, _really_ talk, I don’t know,” Kakashi explained, his eyes set on Pakkun as he dozed on top of his bed on the far end of the studio. “And she said we need to be honest with each other and I know I fucking _suck_ at dealing with people and I really don’t want to fuck this up. Whatever _this_ is.”

“Ok, and what else?”

Kakashi shot Genma an annoyed look.

“You know damn well, why are you making me say this?”

“From what I understood you’re trying to get better at communicating with people, right? Then fucking _communicate_.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Kakashi muttered under his breath as he took another sip of his beer. “ _Fine_. I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I don’t know how far this will go but I know this is the first time that I actually… like someone.” Kakashi groaned at how fucking _ridiculous_ he sounded and he was just about to stop when Genma nodded at him. “So yeah, I can be pretty clueless when it comes to dealing with people but even _I_ know I’m not fit for any kind of relationship right now. And Sakura deserves better than that, so... yeah.”

Kakashi watched as Genma finished off his beer in an attempt to hide his grin and he couldn’t help but be thankful for it. He felt stupid enough as it was and at least Genma knew that annoying Kakashi would do no good right now.

The sound of a honking car came from directly below his studio’s window and none of them had to walk over to the window to know what it meant. Instantly sobering up, Genma shot Kakashi a sad grin as he left his now empty bottle on the counter.

“Well, thanks for everything, Bakashi. Again.”

“Anytime, mate,” Kakashi answered but Genma had already vacated the stool and turned to pick up his duffel bag from where it rested next to Kakashi’s sofa.

Glancing over at Pakkun, Kakashi was pretty sure the pug knew _exactly_ what was going on. He had now woken up and Kakashi dared say there was a vindictive glint in his pug’s brown, half-lidded eyes as he watched Genma hoist the bag up and move to the door.

“Ugh.” Genma looked down at Pakkun as his eyes landed on him. “ _Try_ not to look so smug, hm?”

Kakashi smirked at the interaction after he drank the rest of his beer in one go and then walked over to the door. He waited for Genma to put on his shoes before he did the same, and soon enough they were both standing on the hallway outside of Kakashi’s flat.

“If you forgot anything I won’t send it back,” Kakashi said as he led the way to the stairs.

“Pff,” Genma scoffed. “As if you could pull off anything of mine.”

As they approached the level ground with each step they took, the urge to _say_ something became harder and harder for Kakashi to keep down. There were just so many things running around in his head and he didn’t have the slightest fucking idea on how he could possibly just let them out of his mouth. He wanted to say how fucking much he’d miss Genma, how fucking _terrified_ he was with the stuff going on in his life at the moment, but the words died in his throat. 

For fuck’s sake, communication really was a _bitch_. He’d have to do better than this with Sakura.

As the weight of Genma’s arm settled over his shoulders, Kakashi realised his friend was well aware of everything he wanted to say but didn’t know how to. Closing his eyes and letting a mixture of relief and frustration wash over him, Kakashi allowed himself to feel all of the overwhelming gratitude he felt for having such a fucking _amazing_ friend as Genma. He had no idea what he’d done in his life to deserve him but, somehow, here they were.

Kakashi hated the sight of the closed door that led to the street outside, hated what it meant. He had to say goodbye to someone he loved once again and Kakashi wasn’t sure how many of those he would still be able to survive. _He’s not dying, you idiot, get your shit together_ , he reminded himself but it didn’t have the desired impact. As Genma had said a few minutes earlier, Kakashi knew better than anyone how little it took for things to get _bad_ in the army and there was nothing he could say to himself to reason that maybe nothing would happen to Genma. 

Pushing those thoughts away as he opened the door to the warm morning outside, Kakashi took a deep breath. There was a dark car parked right on the curb, with all of the dark-tinted windows rolled up. Knowing Genma was right behind him, Kakashi slipped outside and took the few steps that led to the vehicle. He did nothing but watch as Genma opened the door at the back, threw the duffel bag in, and greeted the driver. Forcing himself to have at least some degree of a smile on his face when his friend turned back around and stepped away from the car, Kakashi grounded himself to what came next.

“You better check your fucking phone, ok, fuckface?” Genma raised an eyebrow at Kakashi.

“What makes you think I won’t?”

“ _And_ keep me updated,” Genma completed.

“On what?” Kakashi frowned at him.

The knowing look Genma shot him was more than enough to make Kakashi roll his eyes at him.

“ _Bye_ , Shiranui.”

“Ha,” Genma let out a crackle of laughter. “You know I’ll find a way to ask Sakura if you keep me out of the loop.”

“Not even _I_ have her number, how the fuck would _you_ get it?”

All Genma did in return was smirk and Kakashi had no idea whether he was bluffing or not. The telltale signs of annoyance settled on him as they always did when his friend behaved like a little shit.

“Ok, all jokes aside, though,” Genma’s smirk receded into a knowing grin. “You’re doing a good job.”

“Genma…” Kakashi ran a hand up his face as frustration started to override the previous annoyance.

“No.” Genma interrupted him, his face serious now. “Kakashi, I’m serious. I can see how much she means to you and yeah, you’re doing everything you can to make it work. I don’t think you even _know_ how drastically different this goodbye is being from all the others and I know how hard this must be for you, but you’re doing your fucking best. I can see it, and I know Sakura will too, even if she doesn’t really know what you’re trying to change from.”

Kakashi swallowed and crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest. When he realised he didn’t know what to say in return, all he did was nod. The last person who’d given him such a speech had been Minato and Kakashi wasn’t sure how to deal with that particular thought at the moment. Doing what he did best, he just stored it away into a far away corner of his mind to be dealt with later—which pretty much meant never.

Apparently, that was a good enough response for Genma, though. His face broke into a grin once again, only now it was full with so much sadness that Kakashi almost flinched. Kakashi watched as his friend opened his arms and didn’t hesitate before following his lead and hugging the _shit_ out of him.

Kakashi wasn’t a hugger. He was pretty sure he could count the number of hugs he’d been comfortable giving in his entire life on both hands, but at that moment he gave everything he had to it. The fear of losing another friend got the best of him and Kakashi found himself squeezing Genma more tightly than he’d ever squeezed anyone else, but the way Genma matched his intensity in every possible sense eased Kakashi’s anxiety as much as it could.

“I’ll see you soon, mate,” Genma said, not pulling away from the hug just yet, and even though his voice didn’t break at any point the sadness in it was nearly palpable.

“Yeah, you will.” Kakashi nodded and felt his throat grow uncomfortably tighter.

He pulled away first. Even though he hated goodbyes and he definitely didn’t want to see Genma get into that car, Kakashi wasn’t one to hold onto pointless things. He knew better than anyone that no matter how much you tried to protect someone, they could still be taken away in the blink of an eye. Kakashi had made his peace with that years before and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop any of it. 

So, he watched as Genma climbed into the car and hoped with all of his being that that wouldn’t be the last time he saw him.

Because, honestly, Kakashi wasn’t sure he could handle it if it had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo guys! I hope this chapter has found you well!
> 
> to start off, I'm happy to announce I'm done with my exams for this semester (I do still have assignments and stuff but that's manageable lol), so I'm pretty sure starting from next week or the one after that I'll be able to keep up with weekly updates! I'll do my best. I don't guarantee next week because I have a tight deadline coming up for my freelancer editing job so I don't know if I'll be able to write until it's done, but from the 23rd on it should be chill! :D
> 
> OK now about the chapter. it happened. guys, it happened. it hurts for me, it really does, but our boy left :( but this is not the last time we'll see him, I promise! I just love Genma way too fucking much and I grew way too attached to him so I'm glad I'm gonna keep the story beyond Sakura's graduation because that gives me space to bring him back ;) 
> 
> uhhhh what else? oh yeah, I wanted to say something about my military-career knowledge. it's non-existent, basically. both of my grandfathers were military men but by the time I was born they'd both been retired for years and I never really knew how it truly works, you know? I did a lot of research on this and all (like types of discharge and their circumstances, how vacations work, how it is to settle back into civilian life, etc) but there's also the point that stuff changes from country to country, so it's really hard overall. so, I've made the decision that I'm in charge of the military career in my story's universe and I'll be making the decision about how things work. I feel like I need to say this because it won't take long for me to start delving into Kakashi's military days and all, and I don't want to offend anyone in any way if I make a mistake about how military works in your country or something like that. so, yeah, I hope that goes well
> 
> ok, yeah, I think that's all the info I had for now lol
> 
> I wanted to thank you guys for all the support you've shown me and this story in the last chapter. the response to my idea of extending it has been so overwhelmingly positive, in the most amazing possible way, and you guys truly mean the world to me. I love each and every one of you, and I appreciate all of your reviews so, so, so much! thanks a lot, honestly <3
> 
> stay safe, you guys
> 
> \- A


	20. communication

It’s no surprise Kakashi hadn’t been able to shut his eyes at all the night leading to Tuesday. It didn’t take long for him to entirely give up on the idea of sleep and just spend the short hours he usually reserved for it reading Icha Icha Tactics in his bed with Pakkun curled up next to him, focusing all of his mental energy on not thinking about what was bound to happen in a few hours. 

As the alarm clock on his bedside table hit 4:40 am, Kakashi put down the book on his nightstand and got out of bed, earning a glare from Pakkun for being so rudely disturbed. 

“Go back to sleep, buddy,” he told his pug as he took off his boxers and turned to his wardrobe.

Kakashi had taken less than two minutes to put on his nearly knee-length black gym shorts and a forest green hoodie but still wasn’t surprised to see Pakkun fast asleep once he turned around again. Snorting at the dog’s endearing laziness, Kakashi tidied his bed as best as he could without disturbing the pug and then proceeded to put together a quick breakfast.

After scarfing down his scrambled eggs and bacon, his eyes moved to the digital microwave clock as Kakashi washed all of the dishes he’d used to get it ready. There were six minutes left before he had to leave if he wanted to get to Sakura’s on time and he just decided to actively ignore the heavy feeling that intensified in his gut at the realisation. 

For fuck’s sake, how could this _possibly_ go well?

Kakashi did everything he could to not think about how screwed he was as he brushed his teeth and then put Pakkun’s breakfast in his doggie tray for him to eat whenever he felt like it. He made quick work of grabbing some socks from his wardrobe and putting them on, watching Pakkun as he peacefully dozed.

“Bye, mate,” Kakashi whispered and pecked the top of Pakkun’s little head before turning to the door.

Kakashi expertly pulled on his running sneakers and hoisted both his gym and messenger bags onto his left shoulder before grabbing his phone and keys. On second thought, he turned back around and snatched an apple from the fruit basket on his kitchen counter before making his way out of his studio for good. Slipping his phone and wallet into the outer compartment of his messenger bag, Kakashi walked down the stairs as leisurely as possible, focusing on chewing and willing his mind to just not fucking _go_ _there_.

But it did. As soon as Kakashi closed his building’s door shut behind him, thoughts of Sakura and what was about to happen completely filled his brain and, frustratingly enough, there was nothing he could do about it other than groan.

How the _fuck_ was the talk even gonna go? For the past twenty four hours since Genma’d left, Kakashi had been willing himself to get his shit together and just _speak_ , just be _honest_. Other people did it so easily, how fucking hard could it possibly be? Yet, as he turned the first corner in the direction of Sakura’s place, his heart was already thumping so strongly inside his chest Kakashi felt as if he’d just run a marathon, pathetically enough as _that_ was.

He _couldn’t_ talk. He _couldn’t_ just be honest. He’d never done anything like that in his entire life, he’d never just opened up about his feelings—even _thinking_ that word made the heavy feeling in his gut intensify uncomfortably more—and tried to achieve healthy communication with someone else. He’d never, _ever_ , willingly made himself vulnerable for anyone in his entire life, and that was suddenly about to change.

How the _fuck_ would he do that?

As Kakashi started wondering the dynamics of how the conversation would even happen, his anxiety—he guessed he could call it that—just doubled in intensity. Would they use the forty minutes it took them to get to the gym? Just… _walking_? How long would the talk even _be_? It couldn’t possibly take forty minutes, could it?

He didn’t _know_. Kakashi had absolutely no fucking idea about anything that was about to happen, and he also had no idea how he _wanted_ it to happen. 

Yeah, that was definitely gonna be a lot more difficult than he’d hoped it would be.

Because _fuck_ , for every ounce of Kakashi that was devastatingly _terrified_ of what would happen, he really didn’t want to fuck this up. It made no sense to him how a woman he’d only met two months before had managed to become such a crucial part of his life, but she _had_. He didn’t want to _not_ be around Sakura, he didn’t want to end whatever it was they had started to have. It wasn’t like he knew whether she wanted the same or not, but judging from the fact that she actually wanted to _talk_ , Kakashi could only guess she wanted the same as him… right?

He didn’t know. He didn’t fucking _know_ and it was going to kill him.

Still, Kakashi made no effort to get to Sakura’s any earlier than he normally would. He appreciated the walking time to try to get his mind cleared up, even though he was clearly failing at that particular task, and he knew she would only get out of the building at 5:50 so there was no point in being early anyway.

The rest of his walk went by on a similar note. It wasn’t long until he was done eating his apple and then threw the core on a nearby bin. The late March weather was becoming a bit too warm for Kakashi’s liking, yet the thought of Sakura still complaining about the cold while she wore two layers to cover herself up caused the corner of his lips to curl upward. He did know Spring was her favourite season, though, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t eager to see the sakura blossoms down the streets of Konoha everywhere he went.

Funny enough, Kakashi had never really given a single shit to those pink petals until this year.

Soon enough, Kakashi found himself turning left on the corner of Sakura’s street and let out a heavy exhale at the sight of her building. As expected, she hadn’t come down yet and the sidewalk in front of her building was completely empty. A few weeks had gone by since they’d started their training sessions, and Kakashi had up until that point successfully avoided any thoughts regarding his punctuality when meeting with her. Every time he _did_ think about it, he just blamed it on how dangerous it was to let Sakura wait by the sidewalk on her own until he arrived and moved on. Deep down, though, he wasn’t sure whether that was the entire reason why he did it.

Shaking his head brusquely in a nearly comical attempt of shaking his thoughts away, Kakashi finally reached the front doors of her buildings and leaned against the nearest light post. His heart was beating so ridiculously hard inside his chest Kakashi wondered whether this rhythm was even humanly possible. What if his heart suddenly decided it couldn’t keep up with his nerves and just gave up? That’d be a pretty fucking _shitty_ way to die, of that Kakashi was certain. 

All thoughts of his ridiculous imminent death vanished from his head as soon as he caught the light from the lobby of Sakura’s building illuminating the sidewalk, though, which could only mean one thing.

“Morning,” Sakura greeted him with a shy smile on her face and for a split second all Kakashi could do was look at her.

Sure enough, there wasn’t anything particularly different about her appearance just then. Her pink hair was already pulled up on the usual ponytail she wore on their training sessions, and the silky strands were running down one shoulder so that it contrasted with her black workout jacket, which was zipped all the way to the neckline. He did his fucking best not to let his eyes wander down to her dark leggings since he was very well aware the effect the sight of that sinfully perfect tight fit had on him and he was pretty sure it’d be best to just avoid any of _those_ thoughts at the moment.

Yet, even though he’d seen her in similar ways multiple times before, she still managed to knock his fucking breath away. _How_ he simply didn’t know.

“Morning,” Kakashi said back, hoping not too many seconds had passed before he got his shit together enough to speak.

 _Great fucking start, idiot_ , he scolded himself as his eyes followed Sakura’s left hand go up to grab the hoister of her gym bag from where it hung from her shoulder.

“Where’s your uni bag?” He frowned as he realised its absence.

“Oh.” Sakura looked down at the pink gym bag. “Yeah, I’m gonna try just bringing a notebook to class so that I don’t have to bring both bags. It’s really annoying bothering with both of them.”

Kakashi’s frown deepened as he eyed her bag, wondering why the _fuck_ he even brought his work bag home every day since he basically never did anything university-related at his place. It just didn’t seem possible that he’d been doing that shit for almost seven years and never fucking realised it was useless.

“You hadn’t thought of that, had you?” Sakura smirked as she studied his face. The light from the light post overhead illuminated her green eyes in a way that made them look borderline golden, and Kakashi had to force himself to look away.

“Of course I had,” Kakashi lied, well aware he was making a shit job at it but unable to hide his grin at the amusement he picked up on her voice. “Who _wouldn’t_ have thought of that?”

“Uh-hum.” Sakura nodded knowingly. “Keep telling yourself that, you’re the only one buying it.”

Kakashi was just about to retort when Sakura opened her mouth again, and they both awkwardly bit back what they were gonna say to allow the other to go ahead. Kakashi exhaled at Sakura’s breathless laugh as she squinted her eyes at him, her nose adorably squishing in an entirely endearing way that made Kakashi urge to kiss it.

Of course, he didn’t, though.

“Ok, look, I’m gonna just go ahead and say what I’m thinking, ok?” Sakura said as she nervously lowered her hand from her bag’s strap and intertwined her fingers together in front of her.

Kakashi nodded, his eyebrows creasing slightly at the sudden shift in the mood between them.

“I know we’re supposed to train and all but I really don’t want to just… _walk_? While talking, I mean. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I think it’d be better if we actually sat down to do this.” Sakura anxiously searched Kakashi’s face for something. He had no idea what it was but she seemed to have found it because, after a pause, she continued. “I don’t want this to be weird, so we don’t have to do this unless you want to, but... we could go up—” she pointed up with her index finger to the windows above them of her building—“and talk. Only if you’re ok with that, of course.”

Surprisingly enough, Kakashi felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders just then. He wasn’t sure why or what it was about but, at that moment, he knew that was precisely what he wanted as well and he was more than thankful for Sakura for voicing it out for the both of them.

“Yeah, I’m ok with that.” He nodded in agreement, his stomach now curling into a knot at the realisation that he was about to go up to Sakura’s place.

“Ok,” Sakura let out a relieved grin. “Ok, perfect. Let’s go, then.”

She immediately turned around and reopened her building’s door, holding it for the few seconds it took Kakashi to reach her. She let him in and led him straight to the stairs, where they shared a companionable silence as they climbed up the three first floors.

“This one,” she announced as she walked off of the stairs on the third level and turned to the corridor lined with apartment doors. 

Hers was the first door, though, and Kakashi couldn’t help but curse his increasingly speeding heart as she slid her keys into the lock and turned it. He had _no idea_ what to expect from Sakura’s apartment but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t dying to see it for himself. Sakura immediately took her shoes off as soon as she stepped inside, and Kakashi waited for her to step away from the entrance so he could follow her and do the same. He was still sliding out from his sneakers when she flicked the switch on the wall and turned on the lights and Kakashi had to actually control himself to not immediately look up and study her apartment.

When he did, though, Kakashi couldn’t help the smile that crept up his face. The apartment _screamed_ Sakura, as surprising as that was considering he’d never really thought he knew Sakura well enough to be able to identify stuff like that on the spot. But holy _shit_ , everything from the modest potted plant on the corner of her windowsill to the wooden living room dresser with half a dozen picture frames in it—although he couldn’t see the photos themselves since they were facing the opposite wall—just made so much _sense_ as being part of Sakura’s private space. Other than a bookshelf standing right next to the dresser, there was one white sofa with three cushions and a knitted pink comforter thrown over its back facing the dresser from the opposite side of the room. The coffee table that—supposedly—should be in the centre of the room was close enough to the sitting furniture Kakashi was sure it was there for foot-resting motives. Even the white fluffy fur rug laid on the sitting area was _Sakura_ enough Kakashi couldn’t help but smile.

Every single thing about that living room went hand in hand with what he’d expected of her—not that he realised he’d been expecting anything. Everything was perfectly tidy and remarkably clean, traits of her personality he’d been privy to after that day she showered at his place and ended up not leaving a single trace of her in his bathroom—other than her scent, of course, which Kakashi had been able to feel for the two days that followed and not complained even in the slightest. 

There was something else to it, though. Yeah, Sakura might be as clean and tidy as he was when it came to their personal spaces, but her place was far from looking as utilitarian as his did. The only pieces of Kakashi’s personality portrayed in his studio were his Icha Icha bookshelf and two pictures—one of Team 7 back when shit hadn’t quite hit the fan yet, and another one of him and Genma after graduating from KU. Sakura’s apartment, though, showed every single bit of her organisation and type-A personality while still making it very clear _she_ lived there.

“You’re _really_ hard to read, did you know that?”

Kakashi snapped out of his daze at the sound of Sakura’s voice and turned his head to find her curiously watching him from the side.

“What are you trying to read me for?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Just trying to figure out what you’re thinking.”

“It’s _very_ you.” Kakashi chuckled.

The blush that crept on Sakura’s cheeks at his words was more than enough to make his entire day worthwhile.

“Oh, uh. Thanks,” she smiled, turning her head in a clear attempt to get a grip on herself and then apparently finding the perfect excuse to do so as her eyes turned to a door directly to their left. “Want anything to drink?”

“Water would be nice, actually.”

“Ok. Very healthy.” Sakura smiled and then pointed to the sofa. “Make yourself at home, really. I’ll be right back.”

Kakashi watched as she turned around and walked into the door, which he could only guess led to the kitchen. His suspicions were confirmed as soon as she turned on its lights and disappeared inside the room, which allowed Kakashi to take a quick glance at what he could see from his spot by the front door of the apartment before making his way to the sofa. He was pretty sure her kitchen was as big as his when it came down to it, although he couldn’t see an island in the middle of the room—instead, he could see half of a small table for two next to the far wall.

Forcing himself to fucking quit snooping her apartment, Kakashi dropped his bags next to Sakura’s by the door—apparently, she’d left hers there as he studied her apartment—and walked over to the sofa, smirking at the fluffiness of the rug as soon as he stepped onto it. Still, tension made his fists tighten at his side before he forcibly relaxed them as he sat down, took a deep breath, and then shifted in his seat to pull the pink cushion he’d sat on from underneath him and set it on the middle of the couch.

That new perspective allowed him to see not only the photographs propped on the dresser—some with only one or two people other than Sakura and others with her entire group of friends, although Kakashi wasn’t close enough to see the details—but also the bookshelf that stood on the corner of Sakura’s living room. There were many books adorning three out of the four shelves, and Kakashi smirked at the fact they were surely _not_ porn. There were also a few picture frames on the shelves and Kakashi saw all of them were of Sakura with other people, although he was certain those two were supposed to be her parents—it’s not like a guy with dark lilac hair could _not_ be related to her. On the lowest shelf, he could see multiple photo albums instead of books and Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder whether any of them had the famous pictures of Sakura with sakura trees as she grew up. 

Fuck, he _really_ wanted to see those.

Kakashi sensed her leaving the kitchen before he actually heard her light footsteps on the wooden floor and he turned his head to watch Sakura as she walked over to him holding a cup of water and a mug with something steaming coming from inside it.

“Sorry it took so long, I had to wait for the water to boil,” Sakura said as she handed him the water.

“No worries,” he said as he grabbed the cup from her hands. “Tea?”

“Yeah,” she grinned as she walked over to the dresser on the other side of the room. “Lavender. Helps me calm down.”

“Hmm,” Kakashi hummed before taking a quick sip from his water. “You need calming down?”

“Don’t _you_?” She shot him a look over her shoulder as she used her free hand to open the top left drawer of the wooden furniture and take two coasters out of it.

Kakashi chuckled even though she couldn’t be more right. Instead of answering, he busied himself by taking another sip of his water and watching her as she closed the drawer and walked back to him, carefully sitting down on the other end of the sofa and taking a sip from her tea while being cautious not to spill it.

Without saying anything, Kakashi reached out and took the coasters out of her left hand before Sakura had put her mug down. He felt her green eyes pinned on him as he placed both circular coasters on the coffee table and placed his cup on the one closest to him. As soon as he leaned back to the sofa, though, Kakashi very regrettably realised he was now empty-handed and fought against the urge to reach out to the cushion next to him.

“Ok.” Sakura sighed as she readjusted herself on her end of the sofa, turning fully to the side so she could rest her lower back against the sofa’s armrest and pulling both of her legs up to the seat before crossing them.

Kakashi followed her lead and also shifted his upper body so that he’d be facing her, his right arm going up so that he could lay it along the sofa’s back. He didn’t put his legs on the couch, though, and instead settled for resting his left ankle over his right knee. The fact that this sitting arrangement immediately reminded Kakashi of how they’d been positioned on the bench before they made out on Saturday did nothing to help the situation at hand, and judging by the way Sakura’s jade eyes moved over to where his hand rested over the backrest, he was pretty sure the memory also occurred to her. 

Amusement soon took over Kakashi, though, as Sakura’s eyes moved from his hand and slowly went down to study his calf for a few seconds, one of her thin pink eyebrows rising minutely on her forehead as she did so. The blush on her cheeks as she noticed his smirk was almost as entertaining to Kakashi as the fact that he’d actually just caught Sakura eye-fucking his calf.

“I won’t apologise,” Sakura mumbled as she took another sip from her tea.

“Wasn’t expecting you to.”

“Good.”

Kakashi hummed at her in return, his heart ridiculously speeding up at the prospect of what was about to happen. Sakura took yet _another_ sip of her tea—was it actually calming her down? Should he ask for one too?—before lowering it down to her lap, clearly not quite ready to let the mug out of her hands yet. 

“Ok, let’s just get to it, then.” She asked, her jade eyes then surprisingly steady on his even though there was a slight trepidation to her voice. “I’m assuming you want me to take the lead here, am I right?”

“Hm, putting it like _that_ sounds really shitty from my part,” Kakashi chuckled although his mouth was dry. He fought against the urge to reach for his water and remained in his position. “But yeah.”

“It doesn’t sound shitty, Kakashi. It’s ok.” Sakura shook her head. “I just… ok. God, this is hard.” She chuckled and raised her left elbow so that it rested against the back of the sofa, the mug now being held only by her right hand. “I’m not good at this communication thing either, I guess I can start with that.”

“I think we’ve both established you’re still better than me.”

“Well, yeah, but even _Pakkun_ might be.” Sakura shrugged and immediately smiled at Kakashi’s snort. “I’m serious, though. Like, _ok_. I just want to say something first, because this has been bothering me since Sunday and I need to say it.” 

She took a shaky breath, let out an equally shaky laugh, and leaned over to the coffee table to put her mug there, lowering one of her legs to the floor for balance as she did so. She immediately refolded it and brought her elbow back to its place on the back of the sofa when she sat back up again, though, and wrapped her left hand around the side of her neck before looking back at Kakashi.

The force with which he wished that hand could be his own was enough to make him swallow and force his eyes up to meet her eyes.

“We don’t know each other,” she started, the hand now softly massaging her neck and making Kakashi’s left hand close on a tight fist as he urged himself to not let it distract him. “At all, basically. I don’t know anything about who you were and what happened to you before you started teaching, and you don’t know anything about who _I_ was before we met and everything that made me who I am today.” She let her hand drop from her neck at that, which Kakashi was eternally grateful for as he allowed his fist to unclench. “What I mean is... yeah, we don’t know each other, but I _have_ picked up a few things about you on the way. One of them being how much you’re not comfortable being vulnerable, open, and stuff. And I don’t want you to feel pressured to do any of that. You don’t have to speak unless you feel comfortable doing so, I don’t _want_ you to do it if you’re not. I know you’re the one who said we should probably talk about all this first but I know that _I’m_ the one who really needs it, I’m the one who needs to talk and needs to have things out in the open, and I know it’s not fair of me to expect you to want or do the same. _So_ , all I ask in return is your honesty. I’ve been through a lot of shit when I was younger and... _stupid_ , basically, and I’m really scared I’m being naive all over again. So I need you to tell me if I am. That’s honestly all I ask.”

All Kakashi could do for the first few seconds after Sakura was done speaking was _stare_ at her, all thoughts of her neck and how much it’d been distracting him at first completely gone from his mind. He’d always found her so _easy_ to read, all of her emotions always so clearly displayed on her beautiful face, and the sheer vulnerability he saw in her eyes at that moment was more than enough for Kakashi to want to reach out and just _touch_ her. He didn’t, though. 

Out of all of the scenarios he’d thought about how this conversation would go, he never considered this one. And now that it’d happened, his heart was literally on the verge of _bursting_ for the woman sitting across from him. 

Surely it wasn’t normal for anyone to feel _this much_.

But how could he _not_? How could he not feel completely overwhelmed at the realisation that Sakura actually respected him for something he hadn’t even _asked_ of her? Something he hadn’t even explicitly _told_ her about? For all she knew, Kakashi had been more than willing to come here and talk, give communication a try. And he was, he really was, and he _would_. He’d been prepping himself to do better, to _be_ better for her since he knew she wanted to talk and he would give her anything he could to make her happy, and it just never really crossed Kakashi’s mind Sakura might actually be going through the same mental preparation of giving _him_ the same. 

Kakashi had no idea how difficult it must be for her to be willing to lay her heart out for him, to be completely vulnerable, and not only not expect him to do the same, understanding he might not be comfortable with doing it, but also _respect_ him for it nonetheless.

 _Fuck_.

“Ok, I know I said you don’t need to talk but you could just say _something_ , you know?” Sakura let out a nervous smile.

“Shit,” Kakashi chuckled, using the hand he had propped up on the back of her sofa to rub over his face for a second. “I just don’t know what to say. Just… I really appreciate that. But I want to try, I don’t want to leave you hanging here. I’ll do my best, I just don’t know how good that’s actually gonna be. But I want to do it.”

The smile that took form on Sakura’s lips was so dazzling and so raw it was biologically impossible for Kakashi to not answer it with one of his own.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, pursing her lips together in an attempt to stop herself from smiling but not quite succeeding.

“Yeah, we will.” Kakashi nodded, absolutely unable to look away from her. “How do you wanna do this?”

“Maybe we could do simple questions again? Like we did outside Ichiraku’s. I think that’s an easy way to start and we can go from there.”

“Ok, yeah, that sounds good.”

“Now, I actually need to know what you think.” She shuffled in her seat, leaning her weight sideways against the back of the sofa and using her left hand to hold her head up. “Like, if you prefer asking or answering.”

“Why do I feel like this is a trick question?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not a trick question.” Sakura rolled her eyes. “ _I_ prefer answering.”

“Wait, seriously?” Kakashi chuckled. “Why? Asking is way better.”

“Absolutely not,” Sakura snorted. “But I won’t argue. Shoot away.”

Kakashi watched as Sakura reached for her mug and picked it up, taking a sip while she waited for him to just go ahead and ask something. Kakashi wouldn’t, though. How the fuck could she possibly prefer _answering_? He’d always hated answering questions as a whole, especially personal ones, loathing the vulnerability that came along with it. Asking was much safer, you got to know something you wanted to know and not disclose any information in return.

Why the _hell_ did Sakura think otherwise?

“Aren’t you gonna ask?” She asked him after taking another sip of her tea.

“Not before you say why you prefer answering.”

“ _Kakashi_.” Sakura rolled her eyes as she lowered her hands to her lap as she held the mug. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” He couldn’t help but smirk at her exasperation.

“ _Fine_. I guess I just don’t mind sharing my view on things. I’ve always found asking to be more vulnerable. I don’t know, you’re letting people know _what_ you want to know about them, I always feel safer when I’m just answering.”

“Hmm,” Kakashi hummed, nodding for a few seconds as he fought against the smirk that wanted to burst through his lips. “You do know you’ve always asked me a _shitload_ of questions, right?”

Sakura grabbed the cushion Kakashi had set in the space between them in the middle of the sofa and threw it at him. Kakashi was too busy snorting to bother moving away from the line of impact and let it hit him square in the face.

“That’s completely different!” She defended herself, setting her mug back on the coffee table. “And I’ve only asked you like, _one per cent_ of everything I’ve ever wanted to ask.”

“Holy _shit_ ,” Kakashi snorted once again. “That just doesn’t sound possible.”

“Yeah, well, now you have your answer. Can you ask something worthy now?”

Kakashi’s grin faltered as he started gearing himself for what came next. Now that it was really happening he guessed he shouldn’t be surprised at the way the words suddenly seemed to die before even reaching his throat, yet it was annoying nonetheless. He took a few short seconds to wonder if he should maybe start slow and then build up from there but it was just then that he realised he could just get this over with as quickly as possible, which he was sure Sakura would also appreciate. 

At least he hoped she would.

“What do you want out of this?” Kakashi asked, his eyes never wavering from Sakura’s.

“Damn, _straight_ to it,” it was Sakura’s time to snort and she glanced at her mug of tea from where it rested on her coffee table. “Maybe I should’ve gone with wine.”

“You did say to ask something worthy.” Kakashi shrugged, the corner of his lip curling up involuntarily even though his stomach felt a little bit heavier as he waited for her answer.

“You’re enjoying yourself a bit too much if you’d ask me.” Sakura rolled her eyes but Kakashi was relieved to see the corner of her lips tilting upwards as she once again rested her head against the knuckles of her left hand. “Ok, well. I think it’s easier for me to say what I _don’t_ want out of this, is that ok?”

Kakashi nodded instead of saying anything. 

“I _don’t_ want to jeopardise my thesis,” Sakura started, her eyes moving away from his and settling on the bookshelf on the corner of the room, “and I _don’t_ want to put your career at risk.”

“Job.”

“What?” Sakura’s jade eyes moved back to meet his as she frowned.

“Teaching is just my job, not my ‘career’.” Kakashi shrugged. “I don’t particularly give a shit about it, I’ve been thinking of leaving for a while now. I do agree about your thesis, though. Definitely don’t want to risk it.”

Kakashi could see Sakura was dying to ask him about why he wanted to leave KU. He wouldn’t mind telling her—he was starting to realise there were only a few things he’d actually mind discussing with her—but self-disclosure still didn’t come easy for him. He’d walked in there prepared to talk through whatever it was that was happening between them, not to discuss his professional life, and he knew he couldn’t just spontaneously jump into those subjects on a whim. He wasn’t _quite_ there when it came to communication yet.

“Ok, well, _I_ still care about it,” Sakura said instead of asking anything, which by itself made Kakashi appreciate how much she understood and respected him even more. “It’d be better for you to leave on your own terms rather than because you were caught having a rel… uh, being with a student.”

“Nice save,” Kakashi grinned even though his heart tightened at what she’d almost said. “Didn’t even notice it.”

“Shut up.” Sakura rolled her eyes but the blush on her cheeks was highly amusing to him. “We can just pretend I didn’t say that.”

“You do know that _that_ was actually more of an answer to what I asked than what you said to me, right?”

For the life of him, Kakashi had no fucking idea _how_ he was so nonchalantly discussing the prospect of having a relationship with Sakura. He knew his instincts should be screaming at him to run from this and yet, surprisingly, he was eerily calm—except for his speeding heartbeat and the tightening of his stomach, of course, which he found annoying enough as it was.

“Not really, actually.” Sakura shrugged. “I don’t know yet if I want that. A relationship, I mean. It really just slipped my mouth.”

 _Oh_.

Well, _fuck_.

Kakashi had been bracing himself for this possibility for _so_ long now, yet it’d never been enough to prepare him for how much it _sucked_ to know he’d been right about it. 

“Ok, I can see that came out wrong,” Sakura said after Kakashi didn’t say anything in return. He was certain he’d shielded his face well enough against showing her what he’d been thinking, though, so he wasn’t too worried about her having picked up on his thoughts. “I don’t mean _that_ , either. It’s just… you know I’ve had a relationship before, and god that went _so_ badly. It was fucking terrible, _I_ was fucking terrible. You have no idea, Kakashi, really, you don’t know what I was like a few years ago. Honestly, I’m just… I don’t know, I guess I’m scared of opening that door again because I’m afraid I might go back to being the person I was before I broke it off with Sasuke.”

Kakashi was left speechless after that. What could he _possibly_ say after this? Sure, he wanted to ask more, he was dying to know what she meant and would kill for the opportunity to know more about Sakura and the things that happened in her life to lead her to where she was today, to _who_ she was today. He also wanted to say it didn’t matter, that she was right when she said he didn’t know who she was before but he was getting to know her _now_ and she was nothing short of fucking incredible.

Still, he had no idea _how_ to say any of that, and so he didn’t.

“Sorry for that, that was a lot,” Sakura groaned, lowering her elbow from the back of the sofa to her lap and resting her face against her palms in utter embarrassment.

“No, no,” Kakashi said, reaching his left hand forwards and gently tugging her wrists away from her face—doing his best not to think about how tiny her hands looked when compared to his or how warm and soft her skin was to the touch. “I’d actually like to hear more, if you’re ok with that.”

Sakura raised her eyes to look at him, and Kakashi guessed he shouldn’t be surprised at the shiver that ran down his spine as soon as his eyes locked on her jade ones. He didn’t move his hand away and neither did she, to which Kakashi was strangely thankful for.

“Well,” she sighed before going forward with it, “ok. So, Sasuke. Every time the subject comes up in our group, we usually stick to saying I had a ‘crush’ on him since we were like, eight, but that’s not true. I was pretty much borderline obsessed with him, and it only got worse the older I got. _Everything_ I did was with Sasuke on my mind. I started asking my mom not to cut my hair short because I heard Sasuke liked girls with long hair, I started only using outfits that I thought he’d like, and stuff like that. That doesn’t sound so bad, especially because I was like nine at that point and every other girl that liked Sasuke also went through that, but I always took it a bit too far. And then we started getting even older and my friends started thinking about their futures, what careers they’d follow, stuff like that, and all I could _still_ think about was Sasuke. I didn’t care about what career I’d have because all I wanted was to be _Uchiha Sakura_ someday.” She shook her head at the thought, regret dripping from her voice, and Kakashi moved his hands away and leaned back in an attempt to give her space—and also give himself a little bit of space too, since hearing her name with that specific surname didn’t come easily for him. “It was _ridiculous_. And he couldn’t care less about me, honestly. He thrived under my attention but treated me like _shit_ at the same time. And I thought that was good enough, that at least he _talked_ to me. 

“And then we started dating when we were seventeen. I don’t even know exactly how that happened, I know that one day we were getting drunk and then we hooked up, and I guess he realised I was a good shag or something so he decided I’d be easy enough to handle. And I _was_. It was ridiculous, it was pathetic, I had basically no self-respect and Sasuke _loved_ that, of course. Everyone saw it and tried to talk me out of it but I just didn’t listen. Until one day, Shika sat me down and talked some sense into me. Shika’s that friend of mine that was with Naruto on Saturday,” she added for his benefit, and Kakashi nodded in acknowledgement, glad to finally have a name to accompany the face. “He didn’t go as far as trying to convince me to break up with Sasuke because he knew that wouldn’t work, but he helped me start to realise that what was happening wasn’t right. He convinced me to start therapy, which was pretty much the changing point, honestly, but I still wasn’t quite _there_ at first. But I started realising a lot of things, you know? First that even though _I_ knew every little thing that I could possibly know about Sasuke, he didn’t know a single thing about me. He’d never _bothered_. And I started to realise how fucking wrong that was, that we’d been dating for like a year and knew each other for a decade and he didn’t even know simple shit like my favourite colour, and not because he sucks at keeping info like that but because he really didn’t give a single shit. And then I also realised how I’d built myself up from the age of eight to be the _perfect_ girl for him, to be the natural choice when it came to who he’d decide to spend the rest of his life with, that I’d built my entire personality into _that_. I didn’t know who the fuck I was,” Sakura snorted at that, “and it was _scary_. We’d been dating for a year by the time we graduated and I had to start thinking of what I’d do in university, and that’s when shit really hit the fan. That was when I realised that up until that point I thought I was ok with busying myself with studying while I waited for _him_ to decide to marry me so I could drop everything else and focus on our family and shit like that. And then I realised that that wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted a career, and I started to go through all the choices I’d made until that point.

“So, I sat down with him and had a talk. It was fucking terrible, Sasuke was looking at me as if I’d grown three separate heads the entire time. Like ‘who the _fuck_ are you and what did you do to my spineless girlfriend’? And even after we talked and I thought things would maybe change, they didn’t. And that’s when I realised the most important thing of all: I didn’t like Sasuke. I’d been so busy being obsessed with him for over ten years that I didn’t stop to question it. As soon as I started really paying attention to him, his morals, his ambitions, I started realising I just didn’t _like_ him. I thought I loved him at some point there but it was never _real_. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t balanced. So I started to break away from it. And that’s when the tables turned. Sasuke freaked out when he realised I didn’t revolve around his little finger anymore, that I was starting to become my own person and I became my own priority instead of him, and he didn’t like that. He started doing everything he could to get me to stay, he started paying attention and learning stuff about me to try and be a better boyfriend and a part of me was terrified of breaking up, even though I knew I wanted to end it at least six months before I actually did. I was _terrified_ of what would happen if I called it off. I meant it when I said I had _no idea_ who I was, Kakashi. Yeah, I was starting to free myself of the person I built for _him_ but that didn’t mean I was ready to be _alone_. I’m a person that’d never been alone in my entire life by then, I’ve always had someone to project myself onto. At first, it was Ino when we started being friends when we were kids and then it was Sasuke when I started liking him, I was never on my own two feet and I was comfortable with that. 

“But then I had to leave the campus dorms after the first year of uni and Sasuke asked if I wanted to move in together. _That’s_ when I knew I wouldn’t have another chance of breaking free. If I said yes, I _knew_ I’d stay for the rest of my life even if I didn’t want to, I just knew it. So I broke up with him on the spot.” Sakura shrugged. “Ino asked if I wanted to move in with her but I decided not to. Yeah, I was terrified of being alone but I knew I had to learn how to be by myself. My therapist said it was important for me to know who I was before I could even _think_ about having a healthy relationship with someone else, so I knew that if I moved in with Ino I would just be emotionally dependent on her all over again. So I found this apartment—” She spread her hands wide, looking around her living room with pride shining in her eyes. Kakashi was ridiculously wonderstruck—“and yeah, it wasn’t the most budget-friendly option since having a roommate will always be cheaper, but I’ll never regret it. I’ve been alone for the past almost three years and I finally know who I am and I’m _so_ happy with it. So, yeah, now I think it’s fair to say I’m afraid of _not_ being alone, and that’s what I mean when I say I’m scared of opening _that_ relationship door again,” she smirked at that conclusion, looking back at Kakashi. “God, that was a _lot_ , I feel like I’ve been speaking for two hours.”

“Not even ten minutes,” he said in return, entirely unable to keep himself from smiling at her. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for listening.” Sakura nervously brushed her hand through the ends of her ponytail, only then apparently realising she’d just said a lot of stuff she’d probably never meant to say. “Hope you don’t think I’m crazy now.”

“Far from it, actually. I admire you even more.”

“Oh.” Sakura full out blushed then while an involuntary smile took form on her lips. “Thanks, I guess.”

Kakashi watched in silence as Sakura leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed her mug. He was trying to figure out what to say, how to verbalize the thoughts he was having in a way that he wouldn’t automatically combust for doing so. Still, it was only after Sakura had taken three sips from her tea that he managed to pull his shit together and actually say something.

“I’m also not fully ok with the thought of not being alone anymore. There are reasons why I’ve never had a relationship before and sometimes I wonder if I’m completely incapable of having one.”

“Incapable in what way?” Sakura asked, curiously watching him with both hands still wrapped around her mug and making Kakashi wonder whether her tea had gone cold yet.

“As in maybe I’m too old to learn how to be with someone else.” Kakashi shrugged while the words fought to die in his throat before he could say them, but he forced them out. “All of my single friends are only single because they’re either recovering from past relationships or because their career makes it difficult for them to do start anything serious with anyone,” he didn’t have to specify it to make it clear the latter case was Genma’s, “but that’s not the case for me. I’ve just never wanted it before, I’ve been perfectly fine on my own. And now I think I’m just too old to learn how to have someone else in my life.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said this.” Sakura shot him a soft smile as her index finger absentmindedly circled the rim of her mug. “Not today, today was the first, but you said it too one of the times you walked me home.”

“What?” Kakashi frowned.

“That ‘before’. You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, but I’m not hallucinating here, am I?”

Kakashi wasn’t surprised at the gut reaction that followed her words. His heart quite literally skipped a beat before clenching uncomfortably in his chest, his stomach now so heavy it felt like lead. Yet, what really surprised him was what followed right after: an eerie calmness that had no business taking place after he’d ran his mouth just like he had. Reflexive physical reaction apart, once again Kakashi experienced the weird nonchalance from when he first discussed the idea of a relationship with Sakura a few minutes before—ok, sure, they didn’t _really_ discuss it but he did utter the word and verbalised the idea and didn’t run out of the apartment right after. 

That, in Kakashi’s book, was a huge fucking progress and a _lot_ more than he’d expected to achieve on that day.

“Well, I don’t know about that hallucination part.” Kakashi shrugged and earned a smile from Sakura. “But yeah, you’re right. You did say it too, that time.”

“I know,” she said before taking another sip from her tea, and then went back to what he’d said about his commitment issues. “We don’t have to figure anything out now. I think we’ve already established that nothing can happen until I graduate, right?”

“Yeah.” Kakashi nodded. “Good we agree on that.”

“Yeah,” Sakura smiled, looking equally as relieved as he felt. “Still… I decided I’m gonna change supervisors. Even if nothing else happens between us until I graduate, I don’t think it’s ethical to keep going together. I mean, something _did_ happen.”

Kakashi couldn’t say he was surprised at that decision but it didn’t mean he liked it any better. He entirely understood and supported it, though, and he knew he had no business asking her to stick with him just so that they would keep having those one-on-one sessions every two or so weeks.

“Yeah, it makes sense to do that.” He nodded. “You can just tell Shizune I was an asshole to you or something, she won’t even ask about it.”

“I won’t do _that_!” Sakura protested as she leaned forward to place her mug back on her coffee table and then settled back in her previous position, elbow going up to the sofa’s back. “You’re a great supervisor, I won’t let this go on your record when you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“ _Sakura_ ,” Kakashi scoffed. “I’m gonna go ahead and say it once again: I couldn’t care _less_ about this job, honestly. They haven’t fired me so far, I’m sure they won’t do it now.”

“ _Still_ , I’ll have no part in that.”

“Just pretend what happened on our first session happened now. You didn’t complain about me back then, you wouldn’t be lying.”

Sakura laughed at the memory while shaking her head in exasperation.

“If you knew how close I was at throwing my chair at you…”

“Oh, _that_ I wanted to see,” Kakashi snorted at the mental image. “The petty exit was also spectacular, though, so I won’t complain.”

Sakura grabbed another cushion from where it rested behind her back and smacked his face with it as Kakashi laughed at the memory. That was truly one of his favourite Sakura moments—although now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure whether any of the moments he’d shared with her so far _didn’t_ fall into that category, ridiculous enough as that was.

“Ok, that’s _enough_ ,” Sakura said as she settled back on her end of the couch with a huge smile on her lips before going back to the subject. “You’re free to not give a shit about your job but _I_ do, so I won’t jeopardise it any more than I’d jeopardise my thesis. I’m gonna tell Shizune I read up on Professor Ebisu’s work and that I think he’d be able to give me good insight since he works specifically with genetics. I mean, it _is_ his area, so it sounds reasonable.”

“Ebisu’s a perv,” Kakashi mumbled.

“Jealous, are we?” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him.

Kakashi did his best to scowl at her in return but was unable to do so at the sight of her smirk.

“Fine, fine, I’ll keep my thoughts to myself,” Kakashi smirked. “I’ll miss our sessions, though.”

“Me too,” Sakura agreed with a smile on her face. “We’ll still train, though, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Kakashi was almost ashamed at how quickly he jumped in to answer that. By the way Sakura’s smile grew, he guessed she noticed his eagerness too.

“Any more questions?” She asked.

Fuck, Kakashi had _so many_ questions. He wanted to know everything he _possibly_ could about that woman, from her favourite animal all the way to what kept her up at night. He wanted to hear about her childhood, her relationship with her parents, if she’d had any pets growing up, fuck, he wanted to know _everything_. Yet, he knew she must be just as curious to know about _him_ and Kakashi just wasn’t quite there yet.

From what he’d gathered from this conversation, though, they had time. They could take it slow, and they’d still be there after she got her diploma and this unbelievably constraining weight of their student/teacher situation would be lifted from their shoulders. So, he settled for something small.

“You told me you’d show me your pictures with the sakura trees.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Sakura giggled. “Ok, wait, they’re right there.”

Kakashi could do nothing but watch as Sakura stood up from her seat and walked past him all the way to the bookshelf on the far corner of the room. He readjusted his torso so that he wasn’t turned to the other end of the sofa anymore and it was only then he realised the sun had started to come out at some point during their talk and the view outside was lightened up by the lights of dawn. 

Sakura kneeled down on the floor and grabbed the first photo album on the bottom shelf, a light pink one who was slightly thinner than the others. She made her way back to him with a soft smile on her lips and offered him the album.

“Here it is,” she said as Kakashi grabbed it and set it on his lap, and then immediately walked away.

“Where are you going?”

“To wash my mug,” she said as she bent down to grab the mug from the coffee table. “Go ahead, I’ll come back soon.”

Kakashi smirked and watched as she retreated to the kitchen, her pink ponytail swinging behind her back as she walked. Once again, Kakashi did everything he could to not let his eyes wander down to where he desperately wanted to yet really shouldn’t look—he failed, though, _of course_ , and couldn’t even find it in himself to feel bad about it. Well, at least he tried.

As soon as she disappeared through the doorway, Kakashi looked down at the album in his hands and opened it. He was immediately greeted with a picture of a couple, the same one he’d seen on the pictures propped on Sakura’s bookshelf. The Harunos were standing in front of the sakura trees in Konoha’s park, and the lilac-haired man had his arm wrapped around his wife’s shoulders while she had a bundle of blankets wrapped in her arms. Kakashi could really only see the top of Sakura’s head—and the few stray pink strands adorning it—but it was more than enough to make the corners of his lips turn upwards. 

Upon closer inspection, though, Kakashi could see so much more of Sakura in them than he’d realised before. The shape of Sakura’s jaw and of her eyes were mirrored on her mother’s own features, although Sakura’s green was at least four shades lighter than hers. Her eyebrows were as thin as her father’s, even though there was the clear difference in colour. He guessed Sakura’s light pink hair came as a mixture of her father’s lilac and her mother’s blonde strands, and for a second he wondered what he would have looked like if his hair hadn’t been the same exact colour of his father’s but instead resulted from a mixture of Sakumo’s grey with Shizuku’s black. 

As he turned the page, though, Kakashi’s lips broke into a full smile and all thoughts of genetic probabilities vanished from his mind. From the second picture on, it was only Sakura in the images. He knew he had _no_ business finding one and two year old Sakura so _adorable_ but the sight of her short pink hair so curly and cute was almost enough to make Kakashi _giggle_. He kept on analysing the pictures, and by the time he reached ages five and six—when her hair started to lose its curls and straighten instead—he realised Sakura was one hundred per cent stalling in the kitchen considering there was no sound from a running sink coming from there. 

“This shirt with the turtle is really cool. Please tell me you still use it,” he called out loud enough she’d hear from the kitchen.

“I’m pretty sure I outgrew it by now,” Sakura answered as she stepped out of the kitchen, apparently giving up on waiting in the kitchen for Kakashi to finish seeing the album. He really was taking a shamefully long time with it, taking special care to study every single picture as much as he could. Kakashi watched her for a few seconds as she leaned against the wall next to the kitchen door, watching him back. He had no idea why she was keeping her distance right now but he wasn’t one to question it so, instead, he went back to seeing the pictures.

As it turned out, Sakura did start growing her hair longer after the age of eight and Kakashi noticed her wardrobe started to have a _lot_ of red in them, which he didn’t see much nowadays. By the time he turned the page to ages thirteen and fourteen—apparently the ages she started trying her hand at wearing makeup, with emphasis on _trying_ —Sakura sat back down on the sofa, closer to him than she’d been before.

“Ugh, I hate those.”

“Why?” Kakashi asked even though he was grinning.

“Don’t you dare,” Sakura groaned. “I look like a clown.”

“I don’t see much difference from today, to be honest.” He shrugged and couldn’t help but laugh as Sakura hit him on the face with the third cushion.

They both knew Kakashi was joking, though, and the sound of Sakura’s chuckle was enough for him to be sure of that. He was well aware Sakura basically never used makeup nowadays. In fact, he was pretty sure the only time he’d seen her wearing any had been at Genma’s goodbye thing on Saturday, and even then he was pretty sure she hadn’t used much since the only concrete difference were her eyes, which seemed a lot _greener_ than they usually did. He was pretty sure there was a makeup thing for that and he’d bet money—not a lot, though—that it was that weird brushy thing he’d seen Kurenai using on her eyelashes once.

Rolling her eyes at Kakashi’s attempt at humour, Sakura brought her hand to his lap and turned the page to ages fifteen to sixteen. Kakashi did his very fucking best to not react when it came to where her hand had been _very_ close to, which was particularly ridiculous considering the fact that it hadn’t taken Sakura even five seconds to finish turning the page and pull her hand away from him.

“Always the same spot, huh?” Kakashi observed as he studied sixteen year old Sakura smile at the camera with two fingers raised up in a peace sign, always in that very same spot her parents had been standing on the first picture.

“Yeah.” Kakashi wasn’t looking at her but he could _hear_ the smile on her lips. “It kinda became my spot over the years, I always go there to think and stuff like that.”

Kakashi hummed instead of answering, turning the page to look at seventeen and eighteen year old Sakura. A voice in his head reminded him this girl he was staring at in the pages was dating the youngest Uchiha and he tried to see any signs of what Sakura had told him a few minutes before. Even though the Sakura sitting next to him still had long hair, Kakashi was certain he could see something _different_ in her past self in all of those pictures. He just couldn’t see in them that fierceness she had reflected in her jade eyes today, the _fire_ that made her the Sakura he’d grown to like so much in a matter of months. He wondered what it would have been like to run into _this_ girl on the picture instead of the woman he’d been lucky enough to meet, if she still would’ve sassed the shit out of him at every possible chance she had instead of cowering away just like his other students. There was no way he could ever know for sure but Kakashi still _knew_ she wouldn’t have. 

And what a shame it would have been if Sakura had never managed to snap out of it and gotten to be who she really was, because the world would have missed out on a hell of an amazing woman.

Kakashi couldn’t help the way his jaw went absurdly slack as soon as he turned the page to ages nineteen and twenty. Nineteen year old Sakura smiled at the camera with her pink hair cut at jaw-length and he just couldn’t believe what he was seeing, his mouth literally hanging open in absolute shock against his better judgement for the first time in what felt like _years_.

“Oh, _yeah_ ,” Sakura giggled as she inspected the picture after watching his dumbfounded reaction. “That was the first thing I did when I realised I didn’t want to be with Sasuke anymore, a few months before we broke up. It was very symbolic, believe it or not.”

“You look _really_ good with short hair,” Kakashi said before he could think it over but didn’t regret the words after they were out of his mouth.

Sakura was silent for a few seconds and Kakashi wasn’t surprised to find her blushing when he turned his head to check on her.

“Thanks,” she smiled, studying the end of her hair from where it ran down her left shoulder from her ponytail. “I felt really good and free after doing that, sure, but I _really_ like my long hair. I let it grow out again— _obviously_ since it’s huge again now—” she smirked, “but at least it was because of _me_ this time around.”

Kakashi smiled at that and moved his attention back to the album. Twenty year old Sakura had shoulder-length hair and the dark grey sweater and black skirt she was wearing were a lot more familiar to Kakashi than the red-centred outfits she’d used from ages nine to eighteen, although he still needed to be granted the honour of seeing Sakura in a skirt in real life. This woman was finally one he could properly recognise and he couldn’t help but once again be thankful she’d managed to find herself—as cheesy as that sounded. Kakashi turned the page and was greeted with the last one, the page on the right of the album completely empty.

 _So she’s twenty one_ , Kakashi thought, finally having an answer to something he’d been wondering for a while now. 

“Thanks for letting me see it,” Kakashi said while still not looking away from her last picture. Even her smile was more _her_ than the ones he’d seen when she was younger.

What a fucking _waste_ it would have been if she hadn’t dumped that dude, honestly. 

“Sure,” Sakura said, and when Kakashi raised his head to look at her he realised she’d been eagerly trying to read his reactions.

“I still think you could rock the turtle shirt.”

Sakura snorted at that and the sound made Kakashi’s heart skip a beat.

“I won’t even deign that with a response.”

Sakura took the album from his lap and proceeded to put it away on its spot. He really was thankful she’d let him see it since it turned out to be so much better than he’d expected it to be. Kakashi wasn’t the type to take many pictures, and much less the type to keep the few he had been forced to take. He was glad Sakura wasn’t like him, though, since it was surely amazing to be able to watch her growth over the years, all of the phases she went through and the hilarious ways puberty acted on her early adolescent years.

Still, Kakashi had no fucking idea how to tell her any of that. And so, he didn’t. He didn’t say anything as Sakura made her way back to the sofa and sat down on her end, once again keeping her distance and asking if he wanted anything else to drink even though he hadn’t even finished his water yet. And after he said that he was fine, thank you, they _talked_.

The sun was fully up at that point, but neither of them moved to turn off the living room lights even though they were useless at that point. Instead, they both remained glued to their ends of the sofa, turned towards one another, and talking about completely mindless stuff with such an _ease_ Kakashi knew he should be surprised—or at least a little bit scared.

Still, he wasn’t. At first, weeks before, it’d come as a terrifying prospect to him how easy he found talking to Sakura to be. It wasn’t just easy, it was _natural_ , and he found himself genuinely smiling and laughing so often he was sure he must have done it more in the past two months than he had in the past seven years. Kakashi was glad he wasn’t scared of it anymore, though, especially now that he’d spent at least five minutes laughing his ass off at Sakura’s story about the time she was seven and went on a trip to a botanical garden with her parents just to find a lake full of lily pads and jumping in one because she’d _always_ wanted to do that— _of course_. The mental image of kid Sakura soaking wet while her parents tried to explain to the garden employees why there was a destroyed lily pad on their lake was more than enough to make Kakashi lose his shit and it came as absolutely _no_ surprise to him.

And he also ended up telling her stuff of his own too. Nothing too huge, nothing he’d need any preparation before doing so, but definitely stuff he didn’t usually talk about. It also came as no surprise to him how Sakura’s favourite story had been the one about a specific day in the last week of basic training when Kakashi had first joined the army when he was twenty two. Kakashi told her about how the entire squad—which consisted of pretty much twenty soldiers before they’d be sorted into teams of three—had to clean up all of their issued gear and Obito had the _genius_ idea of using the showers to be quicker and also suggested they just be naked to avoid the worry of getting their clothes wet. The sound of Sakura’s carefree laughter as he told her _that_ was how Minato almost had a heart attack at thirty five years old upon finding half of his squad buck naked together was more than enough for Kakashi to laugh as well, for the first time in seven years being able to _really_ enjoy a memory from his army days without having it ruined by mind numbing pain. 

Still, Kakashi was thankful for the way Sakura steered away from all Obito related questions as if she knew not to touch that particular subject. It was just like _that_ with them. They knew how to respect each other’s spaces at the same time they were comfortable taking simple steps together.

And Kakashi was _really_ starting to appreciate that.

The sound of a phone buzzing from their bags from where they laid next to the door made the two of them stop talking and stare at them, though, Sakura turning entirely in her seat to do so. She quickly stood up and walked over there before bending down—almost giving Kakashi a heart attack by doing so—to take her phone out of one of the external pockets of her gym bag.

“It’s mine,” Sakura announced as she straightened back up and looked at her phone, quickly reading through what Kakashi assumed were text messages for a few seconds before her eyes widened slightly. “Oh, shit, Kakashi. It’s 8:38.”

“Fucking hell,” Kakashi groaned, having legitimately forgotten he was supposed to spend his morning teaching a fucking three hours long lecture to clueless university students—with the exception of Sakura, of course.

“I need to change, holy fuck.” She immediately bolted to the only other door in the apartment, right behind where she’d been sitting at the sofa, and Kakashi did everything he could to not think about the fact that that was _clearly_ her bedroom.

“I think I’m gonna go change at my office.” Kakashi stood up as well and picked up his water from the coffee table, downing it in one go.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Sakura’s voice carried from inside her room. “Better than anyone seeing us leaving my place together at nine in the morning.”

Kakashi snorted while he stretched, the effects of spending so long in the same position taking a toll on his body.

“I’m gonna go to your kitchen, is that ok?” He asked, the empty cup still clutched in his hand.

“Yeah, sure!” Her voice was even farther away at this point and he could only guess she’d stepped into her bathroom. Her bedroom door was still open, though, although Kakashi steeled himself not to peek inside.

He made his way straight to her kitchen, unable to hide his smile at how _Sakura_ even her kitchen was. While his own kitchen was all dark, hers was all white, and as it turned out it was slightly smaller than his own—although the fact that hers was actually enveloped in four walls surely contributed to the size factor. He went straight to the sink and started washing his cup, refusing to leave any dirty dishes for Sakura to clean up after him. 

After he was done washing and drying it, he did snoop around for a little bit under the excuse of finding the cup cupboard. He walked out of the kitchen doing everything he could to hide the smirk that’d crept up his face upon finding the collection of dorky mugs Sakura owned, and was just about to reach the front door when he heard Sakura’s light footsteps leaving her room and turned around to see her. Her hair was now loose around her shoulders while her black skinny jeans and dark navy blue long-sleeved shirt stuck to her figure in _just_ the right way, which was absolutely none of Kakashi’s fault. Sure, they’d agreed to keep their hands off each other until June but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy the view as much as he possibly could, so he did little to hide his appreciation from Sakura as he took in the sight of her as slowly as he possibly could.

“My eyes are up here, you know?”

Kakashi smirked as he obliged, raising his eyes up to look at her just as leisurely as before.

“I _do_ know that.”

“Unbelievable.” She shook her head at his words but the slight smile and faint blush adorning her cheeks was almost enough to make Kakashi say ‘ _fuck it_ ’ and just throw her back on the sofa. He didn’t, though, as much as he’d love to do so, and instead settled for going on with amusing himself a little bit further.

“So I’m just supposed to believe you haven’t spent the past three hours staring at my calves, is that right?”

Sakura immediately burned bright red, her mouth dropping open in indignation while she tried to come up with a way to defend herself.

“Well, it’s your fault for using shorts!” She finally argued, crossing her arms defensively in front of her chest. 

“Blaming the victim, Haruno? _Really_?”

“Ok, that’s it.” At that, she walked over at him and placed both hands on his chest to push him to the door. “I already know you’ll be late to class anyway but it won’t be on my account.”

“Oh, _yes_ , it most certainly will be on your account,” Kakashi snorted as he let her lead him. He was dying for her to ask him what he meant by that but considering how her face got three shades redder than it had been up until that point, he knew she perfectly understood what he meant.

Those two months of waiting were already shaping up to be a _lot_ more fun than he’d expected them to be.

As they reached the door, Sakura did nothing but step back and watch as he slid on his sneakers and picked up both of his bags, hoisting them both over his shoulder. Still, he could see she was fighting back a smile as he straightened back up.

“Don’t be late, Miss Haruno.”

“Hm, I think I’ll be safe arriving at 9:20.” She shrugged as she went around him to open the door. “I heard the professor is really shitty when it comes to being on time.”

“Maybe he only bothers for stuff that matters.”

By the smile Sakura shot at him then, Kakashi was sure she also knew exactly what he meant by that.

“See you soon, Kakashi.” She looked up at him as she leaned sideways against the opened door, her left hand resting on the knob while her right one was stuffed into the back pocket of her skinny jeans.

“Yeah, you will.” 

And then he took a step forward, his hand going up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear before resting on her cheek without even realising it. It was only when he caught himself leaning forward that he realised what he was about to do, and Kakashi forced himself to settle for kissing her forehead before he completely fucked up their agreement mere hours after they’d settled on it. The fact that Sakura’s breath had very clearly hitched from the moment he touched her up until the moment he stepped away also didn’t help with his self-control, but he decided to save that for the day he would finally be able to touch and kiss her without any guilt.

“Thanks for the water,” he smirked as he took another step away from her and crossed her doorstep.

Kakashi walked away knowing the image of a speechless Sakura staring open-mouthed at him with her cheeks burning red would stick to his brain all week, and that made his smirk widen impossibly so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO!
> 
> ok I'm gonna rant for a second here! god this chapter was SUCH a pain to write, honestly. I've been obsessing over another pairing right now and that means I've been having so much trouble channelling Kakashi, I just couldn't get him right, and I'll admit I came close to throwing my laptop out the window a few times here and there. just holy shit, it's finally out but YEAH!  
> SO on another note, I know I said my schedule would be freer after the 23rd of november, I think it was that, but yeah I was very wrong. Very, very wrong. Winter recess will be starting on the 14th of december, though, so I'll have three weeks of absolutely nothing to do besides writing :D
> 
> ok now that I ranted about how fucking awful this chapter was to write and how my schedule sucks, I really am kinda happy with how this turned out lol I'm gonna skip time a little bit soon (no need to wait 20 more chapters for the next two months in the story), so you guys can look forward to that!
> 
> well, ok, I'm kinda freaking out right now (I don't know why I'm just feeling really weird) but I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! a huge thanks to my reviewers, you guys are the fucking BEST and I love each and every one of you! and also wtf this is chapter 20 I just realised this!!!! just wow holy fuck
> 
> please let me know what you thought <3
> 
> \- A


	21. offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings pertinent to this chapter can be found at the bottom.  
> ...  
> HAPPY 2021!
> 
> before I kick this off I'd like to explain why it took me so long to get this out... several members of my family got COVID a few weeks ago (and when I say several, I mean several: my father, grandma, aunts, etc, and all of them in the risk group) so I really didn't have the mindset to do anything beside hope for the best. everything's ok now, thank fuck!
> 
> and also, I'd like to thank J (the wonderful writer of Daughter of Fire and one of my best friends) for so many things I don't even know where to start. first of all for helping me keep my head above the water during what I'm sure have been the worst weeks of my life and also for the INSANE amount of patience and support she gave me for this chapter. honestly, the only reason I'm even having the guts to post this chapter is due to her. honestly, J, you're fucking awesome mate, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
> 
> hope you guys enjoy it <3

Kakashi was well aware he was late. He couldn’t help but smirk as he walked down the empty corridor of the Sciences building, wondering what face Sakura would shoot at him as he walked into the auditorium over twenty minutes past the time the midterm should have started. 

He actually hadn’t been planning on being that late, especially on this particular day since it was honestly a pain in the ass to be late for exams. Kakashi could be really fucking late during any day and he’d still say everything he needed to say to his students before midday, without needing to specifically fill out the three hours as long as the entire content was given. That all changed in exam days since he was obligated to compensate for the amount of time he’d been absent for, for “fairness” sake—bullshit, in his opinion, but it wasn’t his call to make. Kakashi had failed to do that a few years before and ended up giving the students fifteen minutes less than they were entitled to complete their exam and Tsunade had been literally one step away from kicking Kakashi’s ass for it. 

After the many times he’d _actually_ had his ass kicked by the woman for the few months he’d worked under her department back in the army, Kakashi knew he did not want to go through that shit again.

Still, those twenty minutes he’d need to stay behind and cut out of his lunch break would be more than worth it just to see Sakura’s face. It was her own fault, honestly, for pushing him to do it. How could he _not_ make an effort to be obnoxiously late when Sakura had spent their entire training that morning reminding him he _had_ to be on time, that this was not a normal day and students would be nervous enough as it was, and had all but called their training off one full hour before they had to be on campus just so that there was no possible way Kakashi could be late?

So, _of course_ he hung out in his office doing absolutely nothing just to piss her off.

Kakashi threw open the auditorium door and kept his eyes straight ahead, not glancing at her even though there was literally nothing else he wanted more than to do that just then. His mind picked up on the thick tension filling the room, which pretty much always happened whenever he was applying his exams. Also not surprisingly, no one spoke a word as Kakashi made his way to his table and laid his messenger bag on it, taking his sweet time dragging the unanswered exam papers out.

And at last he could turn to his students. His eyes immediately zeroed in on Sakura and the sight of her sitting there, right in the middle of the front row and resting her forehead against the tip of her fingers with her eyes closed while she minutely shook her head in exasperation was almost enough to make Kakashi snort. He didn’t, though, and instead dropped the pile of papers on her desk.

“Take one and pass the rest around,” he said.

It took every ounce of self control from Kakashi’s entire being to not smirk at the completely unimpressed look Sakura gave him at that. She put on a show of narrowing her eyes at him as she separated the test on the front for her but Kakashi could see she was fighting against a smile as she looked down and separated the rest of the stack in three sections.

Kakashi turned around and walked back to his table before Sakura started handing the stacks to the other students, and leaned against it with his arms crossed against his chest as he watched them passing the papers to each other.

“You have until 12:24 to finish this,” he announced out of sheer obligation. “I hope you know this by now but if you fill your exam out with a pencil I won’t even bother reading it. If you have any questions, then you haven’t studied enough. When you’re done just drop it at my desk and you’re free to go.”

By the end of his announcement, all of the students had already received their exams and were staring at him with varying levels of anxiety on their faces. Some looked as if they’d already resigned to their fate while others seemed to still be eager to put up a fight, as bloody as it’d be, but the only face that showed nothing but sheer confidence was Sakura’s.

Which, of course, didn’t surprise Kakashi at all.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked as the students did nothing but stare at him for the next few seconds after he’d been done speaking.

The students immediately set to work at his question, all of their heads then looking down at their tests to start reading it. Sakura didn’t, though. Kakashi would be lying if he said the sight of the cocky grin she shot him as she slowly picked up her pen didn’t make his heart feel all weird for a second there, but all he did in return was shake his head at her while a grin of his own took shape in his lips. But then she was also looking down at her paper, and Kakashi took that as his cue to proceed with his usual exam routine and stepped away from his table so that he could make his way to his seat on its other side.

Sakura and him never really interacted like this inside the classroom, but now that it was happening Kakashi would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. Sure, all of the other students were completely fucking oblivious to it as they looked down at their own papers but _still_.

Fuck, he had absolutely _no_ business enjoying this public secrecy thing as much as he did.

Kakashi hadn’t meant to glance at her immediately after he sat down on his seat, yet he shouldn’t be surprised it’d happened. He also should absolutely not be surprised at the fact that she was already fiercely writing in it, while pretty much everyone in the class had their pens down while they tried to figure out how to answer the questions. He could even count a few accusatory glances being thrown at him by some of the students, but all of them immediately looked away as soon as Kakashi’s eyes met theirs.

He hadn’t been kidding when he told Sakura he really stepped up his game for this midterm. Still, of fucking _course_ Sakura was apparently having absolutely no trouble with answering the questions. In fact, it was pretty clear she was writing a _lot_ and Kakashi was almost offended at his own perceptive skills at how he hadn’t already guessed she was one of those students who always wrote a fucking essay to every single question.

Well, he couldn’t wait until he’d be able to read them. 

Kakashi kept his eyes trained on Sakura as he pulled his bag closer to him and stuck one hand in to get his beloved Icha Icha book from inside. Sure, Kakashi was well aware he would never be able to get away with reading porn in a classroom filled with students but that would only be the case if he actually got caught. Was it ridiculous that he used different book covers—this time a psychological thriller—to disguise his books in cases like this? Maybe. Did he still use it, though? Absolutely.

And that was how Kakashi always spent his exams. With both legs resting on his desk crossed over the ankles while he leaned back in his chair and had the time of his life while trying to ignore the fact that he’d rather be doing pretty much any other fucking thing in the universe than babysitting some clueless students for three straight hours.

Not even Jiraya’s art was enough to keep Kakashi occupied for long on that particular morning, though. The number of times Kakashi had failed to not overthink something in his entire life could be counted in only one hand, yet this was one of those. To be fair, Kakashi was pretty sure being approached by the Konoha Intelligence Division not for the first time in his life, but for the _second_ , and being offered a really fucking high position among them was enough to have that effect on him.

At least they’d called this week, instead of showing up at his studio unannounced like they had a few days before only to find Genma there instead of Kakashi. Also, the fact that they knew his phone number didn’t make him feel any better, even though Kakashi knew they only had that information because the Director of the Konoha Intelligence Division was none other than Namikaze Minato.

At least he could be sure of that since when he’d gotten the same offer seven years before, the agents under Sarutobi Hiruzen’s order settled for sending a letter.

Kakashi kept his eyes trained on the pages in front of him even though his brain wasn’t picking up on any of the words he was reading. Instead, his focus was trained in the past when Kakashi had just started teaching at KU and he’d been offered the position of Associate Director for Military Support for the first time. He remembered being really fucking confused as to what the fuck those guys were doing there and why the hell did they think he was even _worthy_ of that shit? It’d been less than a year since he had his teammates die on his fucking arms after he pathetically failed to save them, and holy fuck those final three months he’d spent on the special forces were nothing but absolute shit to him and everyone involved. Yet, _somehow_ , there they were.

Of course, he’d said no. They might think he was good enough for it but Kakashi knew the truth. And then he got this teaching job and let the years go by, not really aiming for change even though he’d always hated every single aspect of his role as a professor.

Call it self-inflicted punishment or whatever, Kakashi had been sure back then he didn’t deserve anything that would make him less miserable.

But now, there they were again. Apparently, the guy they’d hired in his place seven years before was more than ready to retire and they wanted to give Kakashi another try, claiming they really did believe he was the right man for it. How the fuck Minato found Kakashi worthy of such a role was beyond his comprehension, honestly, yet even though his first instinct had been to refuse it again, he’d forced himself to at least think about it. It’s not like things were the same as they’d been when he was twenty-eight, and even Kakashi knew he owed himself at least the possibility to consider it.

So, it was no wonder he just couldn’t stop thinking about it considering he had a meeting scheduled with them in a few hours time.

As he blindly turned the page of the book clutched in his hands, his eyes absentmindedly travelled over to Sakura and the sight of her slowly scratching the tip of her nose as she read the paper in her hands was enough to make the corners of Kakashi’s lips tug upwards. From what he could see she was already on the third page, which meant it wouldn’t be long until she was done with the entire exam. Checking his watch, Kakashi was impressed to see only fifty minutes had passed since he’d distributed the papers when it’d taken Gai the same amount of time to finish the first two pages when he’d taken the test the previous day.

Kakashi vowed to himself never to tell his friend, especially if Sakura scored higher than the ninety-two he’d gotten.

Forcing his eyes to move back to his book, Kakashi felt himself sigh as he wondered what getting this new job would mean for him. He wouldn’t be lying if he said he was fucking terrified of opening that door again, of being brought back to that word that had taken so much from him—psychologically rather than physically—but under different terms. He wouldn’t be fighting now—which he knew he was fucking great at—he would be far away from the field and sitting on a comfortable chair while coordinating Konoha Intelligence Division’s efforts to provide Joint Force commanders and supporting the officials who were in charge of military intelligence training. 

Basically the one in charge of overseeing all the logistics of who goes where to do what.

Kakashi had never, ever thought about who was actually commanding this kind of stuff from the shadows. When he’d been an agent he received his orders, fulfilled them, and went on with his business. It wasn’t his place to wonder why or how things were happening, he had a duty and he prided himself in fulfilling it.

But now, here he was. And he was actually considering taking it.

Truth be told, Kakashi had been born for combat. He’d always known it, he didn’t belong anywhere where he couldn’t use what he’d inherited from his father. Sure, he was great at everything he tried and that was something he’d just been born with, but it was in the military that Kakashi really found himself and his calling. The toll it took on him had been absolutely devastating since it’d made that aspect of ‘everything comes with a price’ all too real for him. 

He was happy, yes. He was fulfilled, yes. But he lost the people he held closest to his heart, and in a way he’d never been able to really deal with no matter all the mandatory therapy he’d been forced to do.

Kakashi really _did_ miss it, though. He knew he wouldn’t be doing any of the fighting now but maybe he could actually make a difference, maybe from this new position he could also be fulfilled while not risking his people while at it. Truth be told, Kakashi was too old to go through that shit again. He was too old for the emotional toll he’d been through in his final year on the forces, he knew he couldn’t go through that again no matter what.

And that’s not even mentioning his father’s suicide, which Kakashi had become an expert at just brushing off as if the first real tragedy of his life hadn’t also been a direct effect of the military, even though it’d happened years before he even joined the forces.

Yeah, he was too old for that.

And he also fucking _hated_ teaching. He wasn’t cut out for it, everybody could see that. Sakura had once told him he was a really great professor but she’d been the only one in _seven years_ to be able to keep up with him. She’d said then that his standards were high and he wasn’t willing to lower them, and even though she’d said it as if it was a good thing, he also knew he wasn’t a good professor if ninety-nine per cent of his students didn’t learn a thing from him.

He was shaken off of his musings as a paper was gently placed in the desk he had his feet propped on. His eyes focused on it for a few seconds, taking in the absurd paragraph taking up every possible free space of the paper, before rising to meet the one responsible for it.

Of course, he’d know who it’d be before he even caught sight of that smile he liked so much, at that moment looking so self-satisfied and _proud_ it made his heart clench a little bit.

Kakashi really wanted to tease her. Fuck, he wanted to do _so much_ to Sakura but he _couldn’t_ and the frustration he felt as he forced himself to not react as she winked at him and walked away was almost too much to make him say ‘fuck it’ and just go after her. Every single eye inside that classroom was set on Sakura as she reached the door, most of them filled with jealousy and bewilderment at how quickly she’d finished the exam.

He had to physically restrain himself from grabbing her exam right then and start reading it, knowing full well he wanted to be all alone to do it so that he wouldn’t actually have to hide all his reactions from the outside world. Sure, the only reason he wasn’t allowing himself to get caught by students as he smiled down at Sakura’s exam was on _her_ behalf, but it still needed to be avoided.

Now that he had approximately two more hours to go before he could finally walk out of that class, Kakashi forced himself to at least read some part of his beloved book.

Soon enough there were only about twenty minutes left until the time was over and students started to hand in their exams one by one, with only about forty per cent of the class still there by the time only five minutes were left. Kakashi took his time putting his Icha Icha away and walking over to the front of his desk, leaning against it with his arms crossed with every intention of intimidating the remaining students as much as he possibly could. It’s not like Sakura was there to scold him for having fun at the expense of their nerves, so he’d just go ahead and make the most of it.

By the time his watch turned to 12:24 and the remaining students stood up and handed him their papers, it’d been around twenty minutes since Kakashi had used his phone to order some sushi to be delivered at the Administrative building and he could only hope he’d be getting there at the same time as his food. By the time Kakashi turned the corner to the main square and face the building his office was located in, the delivery guy was waiting right next to his bike with Kakashi’s parcel in his hand. From there on was a very torturous and slow elevator ride with Kakashi holding onto his food for dear life, its scent nearly driving him insane as he watched the numbers change as the elevator reached each floor. Honestly, it just shouldn’t take that fucking long for an elevator to ride up three floors.

By the time Kakashi sat by his desk and got his food out, he waited for a few more seconds while he searched his messenger bag for the one exam he’d been dying to read ever since Sakura had first started to fill it out. Kakashi didn’t even look as he dropped some soy sauce on the designated container and broke his chopsticks, his eyes reading every word of Sakura’s handwriting—which was messier than he’d expected but holy fuck it _suited_ her—as she expertly answered every fucking question he so meticulously prepared to give her a hard time. 

For as starved as he’d been on the way there, he didn’t even taste his own food as he read over Sakura’s exam. He wasn’t grading it yet because he just wouldn’t bother to pick up his pen when he was busy eating, but he knew she’d done really well. Fuck, really well didn’t even cover it. He was pretty fucking sure she’d gotten at least a ninety-four, which Gai could never ever be allowed to know.

It wasn’t long before he was done with his lunch, and after throwing the empty containers in the trash Kakashi took out a pen and decided to grade her exam. He wouldn’t get started on any of the others yet since he had three full weeks to do that, but he really wanted to know how much Sakura had been able to score.

And by the time he’d finished, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the ninety-six he’d circled on the top of her paper.

She’d gotten a ninety-six on his midterm.

Brushing a hand over his hair as he put his pen down after drawing a henohenomoheji next to her grade, Kakashi couldn’t help but let his chuckle turn into an incredulous laugh. How the fuck could he tell her that? He’d actually gone out of his way to make sure she’d at least struggle a little bit with this test and she’d gotten a _ninety-six_.

He’d never hear the end of it, _ever_.

As he glanced over at his watch, Kakashi figured he had enough time to put her grades on the system before he left for his meeting and turned on his desktop. The grades wouldn’t be released to the students until the deadline for the professors’ to finish grading the midterms was over, in about three weeks, but Kakashi figured if he just put them up now it’d be one last thing he’d need to do later and it’s not like he had anything else to do before he had to leave.

As he waited for the machine to start working, Kakashi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was beginning to realise it was time to do something he'd been avoiding for years now. He knew this moment would come after he'd run into Naruto on Saturday, and now that he had this new career opportunity to think over, it really wouldn't hurt to get the insight of the one person Kakashi respected the most. It just happened that this person was the same man who’d actually recommended him for it.

Scrolling down his contacts on his phone, Kakashi tried to talk himself out of it at least a billion times. What the fuck would he even _say_? After eight years of radio silence how shameless could he possibly be to just hit them up and expect everything to be normal? As the phone rang, he tried his best to prepare himself but by the time Minato’s voice reached Kakashi’s ear his heart immediately tightened uncomfortably in his chest.

“ _Hello?_ ”

A few seconds went by and Kakashi couldn’t speak. His throat felt abnormally contracted as he tried to convince himself not to hang up.

“ _Is anyone there?_ ”

“Yo,” Kakashi managed to blurt out after clearing his throat. “Commander.”

It was Minato’s turn to be silent then, and for a few seconds Kakashi wondered if he’d given the man a heart attack or something. Had he recognised who he was only from his voice?

“ _Kakashi?_ ” Minato asked, answering Kakashi’s silent question.

“The one and only.”

“ _Damn_ ,” Minato chuckled, and Kakashi could perfectly picture him brushing a hand through his golden hair as he shook his head in amazement. “ _How are you? Did something happen?_ ”

Did Minato honestly expect Kakashi to not call him even after being recommended for the spot? Had Kakashi seriously strayed that far away from his former Commander—and honestly the closest thing to an older brother he’d ever have—to make him think that?

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Kakashi nearly cringed. “Uh, how’s Kushina?”

“ _She’s great! Uh… it’s been a while, Kakashi._ ”

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed, leaning forward on his desk. “Yeah, it has.”

“ _And… are you still at KU? How’s teaching?_ ”

“As good as I’d ever thought it’d be. I didn’t know Naruto was about to graduate.”

“ _Yeah, he is,_ ” Minato said and Kakashi could hear the proud smile that was surely playing on his Commander’s lips. “ _Psychology, can you believe it?_ ”

“It suits him.”

“ _It really does, doesn’t it? The kid’s always got a nick for it since he was a kid. I don’t know who he’s gotten it from._ ”

“I don’t know about that, but there’s no mistaking where his temper’s from,” Kakashi smirked, and for a few seconds he smiled at the sound of Minato’s chuckles over the temperamental similarities between son and mother.

“ _He told us he ran into you a few days ago_ ,” Minato started again. “ _He was really happy about it._ ”

“Yeah….” Kakashi frowned, unable to bring himself to lie and say he’d felt the same and decided to just go straight to the point. “K.I.D contacted me again.”

“ _Ah, yeah! You’re pretty hard to reach, Kakashi._ ”

“Hm,” he hummed, using a hand to brush through his face. “I’d like to talk to you about that, if you don’t mind.”

“ _Of course! Why don’t you come over for lunch tomorrow? We can talk about it then._ ”

Kakashi immediately tensed, the idea of going back to that house making the little hairs on the nape of his neck stand up. Not only had it been eight years since he’d last talked to either Minato or Kushina, but it’d also been almost ten years since he’d stepped in the house he’d made so many memories in. Kakashi wasn’t ready to be back and he couldn’t just fool himself into believing he could be.

“Could we… maybe meet at a restaurant?”

“ _Sur…_ ” Minato started to agree but was suddenly interrupted.

“ _No, no way,_ ” Kushina butted in, making it known she’d been listening in on the conversation the entire time. “ _You can’t just be gone for eight years and think I’ll be ok not cooking for you when you finally decide to show your face again, you know, Kakashi-kun!_ ”

“Maa, I should have seen this coming,” Kakashi grinned. “Yo, Kushina-san.”

“ _Kushina-san my ass!_ ”

“Sorry, sorry,” Kakashi chuckled.

“ _Hmpf,_ ” she huffed and the rough sound made Kakashi’s chuckle widen. “ _You’re coming over tomorrow, you know._ "

Kakashi closed his eyes, his will to fight Kushina against this not quite showing up. At that moment he’d realised he owed that couple things he could never repay. Kakashi had never appreciated how they’d spent the past eight years respecting his need for space and distance regardless of how much they’d wanted to reach out, and Kakashi could only imagine how hard that’d been for them. Kakashi, Rin, and Obito had been like younger siblings to the two of them—which had been an interesting dynamic to be found considering Minato had been their direct superior in the army—and, unlike Kakashi, they didn’t function better when distancing themselves from every source of emotional distress.

And yet, they didn’t once invade Kakashi’s space until he’d taken the first step to reach out. He couldn’t just _not_ go have lunch with them, he couldn’t be that big of an ungrateful bastard.

“Ok, yeah. I’ll be there.”

“ _Great!_ ” Minato cheered, and even though she didn’t say anything, Kakashi was sure Kushina was smiling. “ _Ok, we’ll be serving the food at 12:30, so unless you wouldn’t mind eating cold food…_ ”

“ _No, you have to guilt-trip him!_ ” Kushina said, her voice far away from the phone. “ _Tell him we’ll wait until he arrives before we start eating too._ ”

“I’ll be there before then,” Kakashi chuckled, making it clear to Minato he’d heard every word. “Thank you, sir.”

“ _Kakashi, please. We’ve been past that for a really long time._ ”

Kakashi hummed, leaning his leather chair back.

“ _Since we’ll be talking about K.I.D, I won’t tell Naruto,_ ” Minato said after Kakashi remained in silence. “ _Is that ok?_ ”

“Hm, yeah,” Kakashi nodded, doing his best to hide how relieved he actually was at that. He really wasn’t sure he could face the boy just yet. “Yeah, that’s ok.”

“ _Ok, great! See you tomorrow, then._ ”

“Yeah, see ya.” Kakashi closed his eyes as soon as Minato hung up.

Eager to push the reality he would be facing in a matter of twenty-four hours from his mind for the time being, Kakashi turned to his desktop and took his time going over Sakura’s records. Her whole academic career was fucking brilliant, way better than his had ever been—also something Gai should never _ever_ find out. All of her previous professors left personal notes on her records, all of them full of praises on her intellect and potential, and Kakashi couldn’t help but smile at how fucking proud he was of her. Sakura really did deserve this, just like she deserved so much more which he was sure was yet to come in her life.

After reading everything and uploading her grade to the system, Kakashi scrolled back up so he could close the tab. When he reached her personal information, though, he couldn’t help but take a few seconds to study her identification picture, taken four years before when she’d enrolled in university. An eighteen year old Sakura looked back at him, smiling brightly even though technically people weren’t allowed to smile at their I.D. pictures, and Kakashi couldn’t help but snicker at the thought of the photographer being unable to tell Sakura to refrain from doing so.

His grin turned into a frown, though, as his eyes drifted to a certain date at the beginning of her personal information. It took him a few seconds to really accept what he was reading, and understand what it actually meant.

Sakura’s twenty-second birthday was on Sunday. 

Kakashi stared at the screen for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. They would train together on Sunday, and she’d walked away from him today without saying a single word about her upcoming birthday. Did she not care about birthdays, much like he didn’t? Even though he didn’t know the answer to that, a little voice in his head—a voice that had _never_ spoken to him before that very moment—asked a question Kakashi had actually never truly bothered asking either: what should he get her?

Kakashi had never been good at giving gifts. All of his friends knew what to expect from him when their own birthdays came around: alcohol. Sure, he went as far as buying each of their friend’s personal favourite alcohol, but that’s as far as he went, _always_.

Yet, he couldn’t get Sakura a _Chardonnay_. Regardless of whether she’d wanted Kakashi to know about her birthday or not, he had found out and if he was getting her anything, it’d be fucking something personal.

A few minutes went by in which Kakashi did nothing but stare at her picture, his eyebrows drawn together as he thought over what to give her. He didn’t really know what he hoped to accomplish with said present but he did know he wanted to make her smile, especially if she hadn’t told him about her birthday because she didn’t like them.

Kakashi hated his own birthdays, he knew well enough what that felt like, yet he just couldn’t really accept Sakura not celebrating the day she was born. Hell, if it were up to him _everyone_ would be celebrating Sakura’s day. Just then he couldn’t help but think back to her pictures by the sakura blossoms, and now that he knew each of them had been taken around her birthday they just sounded even better in his head, their meaning even deeper.

And that was when it hit him.

A snort escaped him as he reached over to his phone, quickly opening his personal chat with Gai and typing what he wanted to ask. Just then he knew that that was it, the fucking perfect present, and he’d search Konoha from one end to the other if it meant finding it for Sakura.

.

.

.

Kakashi took another measured breath and clenched his hands on his lap as he watched the scenery passing by outside the cab's window. Huh, so they painted that house blue. He’d preferred it much better when it’d been white. Did the owners from years ago move away, or had it always been just one family who one day decided their house would look better blue?

He didn’t know.

Also, that speed bump the car just slowed over was also definitely a new addition to the area. Even the street signs looked different, as if they’d been maybe cleaned or even changed for a newer model.

Really interesting.

Kakashi got the confirmation he needed that the street signs had been changed when the taxi turned another corner and his eyes zeroed in on that one yellow sign Obito had knocked his head against so strongly in one of their running sessions that he’d left the post permanently kinda crooked. The post looked perfectly straight now, and Kakashi’s fists clenched tight as he averted his eyes somewhere else.

Oh, yeah, another house that’d been painted. This one looked better at the moment than it did years before, though, which surprised Kakashi immensely since he’d never actually considered he’d someday look at a house with yellow walls and actually like it.

This went on for the six minutes it took until the taxi reached their street. Kakashi closed his eyes as the car turned on their corner, his mind oddly blank as he just tried to urge himself to get his shit together. He could do this, he knew he could, all he had to do was not think about it, not link the house to his memories and he’d be fine.

The moment Kakashi got out of the taxi and found himself standing face-to-face to Commander Minato’s house, though, he was greeted by the ugly reality of it. The nostalgia hit him so strongly just then that for a second there Kakashi could swear he’d walk in the door just to see his two friends cuddled together on that shitty two-person inflatable mattress they’d started sharing at twenty-two.

He almost left. Right then Kakashi nearly climbed back into the taxi and told the driver to take him back the way they’d come from, but he knew that’d be impossible as soon as the door opened and Kushina saw him just standing there by the curb.

“Took you long enough, you know.”

Of course, the sight of Kushina did absolutely nothing to ease Kakashi’s mind, especially when she looked pretty much the same as she did the last time he saw her nearly ten years before. Her red hair was still the same and that hand on her hip as she stared impatiently at him hadn’t changed _at all_ , which just made it even worse that there was now a certain apprehension and _sadness_ in her eyes Kakashi had never expected to see directed at him, at least not from her.

And then Minato was there, one hand grasping Kushina’s shoulder as his eyes landed on Kakashi, and his face broke into that grin Kakashi had seen so much of back when everything was still ok.

“Hey, can you close the door, mate?” called the taxi driver from inside the car, pulling Kakashi out of his daze.

He complied without saying a word, not daring to take his eyes away from the house and its owners as he heard the car drive away and taking with it his chance to escape.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Kushina rolled her eyes as she started making her way towards Kakashi. “Give me a hug, you idiot.”

Kakashi was still speechless as Kushina threw her arms around his waist, and it took him a few seconds until he managed to hesitantly wrap his own arms around her shoulders, his mind a complete and absolute blank as he watched Minato walk over to them over Kushina’s head.

“Come on, love, let the guy breathe,” he said after reaching them.

Kushina stepped away, her eyes running over Kakashi as if she was just now really taking him in. Unable to meet her gaze head-on, Kakashi glanced over at Minato as the blond man placed a hand on his shoulder—Minato had indeed always been more respectful of Kakashi’s physical boundaries than his wife.

“It’s good to see you, Kakashi.”

“I can say the same,” Kakashi shot him an eye-creasing smile, realising one second too late Minato could read the fakeness in it more than anyone else could.

“Well, let’s go in, then!” Kushina started ushering them both in the direction of the house. “It’s not everyday Kakashi is less than ten minutes late for something, I feel honoured, you know?”

If it hadn’t been for Kushina quite literally pushing him forwards, Kakashi wouldn’t have given a single step further in the direction of that house. He didn’t want to walk in, he didn’t want to pass that threshold and be punched in the face with the fact that that was the first time he would ever be there without the two people who deserved it way more than he should.

Desperately trying to gather some sense of stability as he followed them inside, Kakashi focused his eyes on the glass door on the opposite end of the room that led to the outside garden and looked at absolutely nothing else. He didn’t want to see the pictures he was sure would be adorning the living room, he didn’t want to see any different furniture, he wanted absolutely none of that.

If Obito and Rin weren’t there to see the ways time had changed the Uzumaki household, so neither would Kakashi.

He knew Kushina was talking to him. He was well aware she’d been talking ever since she started ushering them inside, but for the life of him Kakashi just couldn’t hear a single word that came out of her mouth. Kakashi also knew Minato was closely watching him, and he had no shadow of a doubt he could read in Kakashi’s stoicism what Kushina couldn’t. 

“Maybe we should eat outside,” Minato suggested.

Kakashi’s eyes darted over at him, and even though he deeply appreciated the gesture it didn’t really change anything. How could he _possibly_ eat on the same garden Obito proposed to Rin six months before it all went to shit?

He didn’t say anything, though. Kakashi helped Minato and Kushina on moving the food and cutlery to the picnic table outside, his body moving on auto pilot as his mind did its fucking best to not lose it. He knew it’d get better once he sat down since he could choose that one spot that would keep him facing the exterior wall of the house with his back turned to the garden, and all he could do was hold on until that happened.

“Where’s Kurama?” he asked as he finished setting the cutlery and followed their lead to sit, with Kushina at his side and Minato taking the seat across from him.

“Ah, you know how it is,” Kushina said as she tied her hair up in a ponytail to get it out of her way so she could eat. “That dog only behaves normally when Naruto is around, I don’t know how that happens.”

“It listens to you too,” Minato argued as he started serving himself with the miso soup with eggplants.

Kakashi nearly flinched at the sight of his favourite dish, feeling like absolute shit for being so immersed in his own head he hadn’t even noticed it. He needed to get his shit together, it wasn’t fair of him to take Minato and Kushina for granted just because he was focused on his own tragedy. Kakashi had spent _hours_ wide awake the night before prepping himself for that lunch, willing himself to hold it together until he was alone, and now here he was ridiculously failing. It’d been _ages_ since he felt as shitty for his actions as he did right then.

It absolutely did not help that the soup tasted like cardboard as soon as Kakashi started eating it. 

“This is delicious, Kushina-nee,” he sighed as he took another bite of the food he couldn’t taste at all. “I’ve tried to find a miso soup as good as this around Konoha but yours is really one of a kind.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have needed to look for substitutes if you hadn’t disappeared, you know?” Kushina nudged him with her elbow, although the smile on her face showed how happy she was.

Kakashi didn’t miss the look Minato sent Kushina’s way at that, and if she’d noticed it she’d promptly ignored it.

“You missed _so_ much, Kakashi-kun,” she carried on, a huge smile playing on her lips. “You ran into Naruto, right? What did you think? He’s so tall now, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is.” Kakashi nodded. “Made me feel pretty old, not gonna lie.”

“Don’t remind me,” Minato chuckled. “In two years he’ll be as old as I was when _he_ was born and I’m not quite ready to face that.”

“He does look like your carbon copy,” Kakashi said after swallowing.

“Hey!” Kushina put her chopsticks down. “There’s plenty of me there too, ok?”

Kakashi’s mouth opened to answer— _personality-wise, sure_ —but the movement of Minato discreetly shaking his head at him stopped him on his tracks. Not even considering arguing against the man’s advice, Kakashi stuffed his mouth with another bite and waited for Kushina to move on.

“You know who looks more like Mikoto every time I see him? Sasuke,” she carried on as she looked over at her husband.

If Kakashi hadn’t been done swallowing his food by then, he was certain he would have choked on it. As it were, he made sure to take a sip of his water as Minato shot his wife another wary look.

“Fine, fine, no mentioning the Uchihas,” Kushina rolled her eyes. “Just this, though. I do think if those boys didn’t look like statues all the damn time they’d be much more handsome, you know? And that’s not an _Uchiha_ thing, Obito-kun was perfectly normal, the _sweetest_ boy, and I’ve always told Rin-chan how lucky she was to have nailed him down like she did.”

The deadpanned look in Minato’s face was almost enough to dull the sudden tightness in Kakashi’s heart. _Almost_.

“ _Kushina_.”

“ _Fine_ ,” she rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Kakashi-kun. Minato disapproves of my thoughts on Mikoto and her family.”

“It’s been _years_ , love, I just think…” Minato started.

“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been!” Kushina interrupted him before he could finish, and Kakashi wanted nothing more than to drown in his soup even though he’d dearly missed the woman’s brazen form of showing affection. “If Obito-kun was still alive they’d still be treating him like shit, that wouldn’t have changed, you know! And I tried to like Sasuke because he’s Naruto’s friend, Minato, you _know_ I did, but that horrid boy had to go ahead and treat Sakura-chan like absolute shit too! Remember Naruto’s nineteenth birthday? _I_ do! I honestly don’t know what Mikoto teaches her boys, I really don’t.”

Kakashi would love to say he’d been more prepared for it this time around but he _really_ wasn’t. Thankfully, though, he was still way too stunned to have Obito and Rin’s names thrown at him so often after spending almost ten years with everyone around him avoiding the topic, so the deadpanned look he had in his face at the mention of Sakura remained where it was. 

“It’s not our business, that’s all I’m saying,” Minato shrugged. “It’s also not easy to have a son go undercover for so long, can you imagine what they’re going through with no news from Itachi?”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as he reached for his cup. He hadn’t heard a word about Uchiha Itachi since they separated their disastrous two-man team a few months before Kakashi was discharged, and now here it was, being thrown at him as if this conversation was happening almost a decade before.

“You always say no news are good news,” Kushina said meekly.

“Not always, love.”

The rest of lunch went by on a much more pleasant note, with Kakashi doing his very best to contribute to the conversations as he managed to somehow eat his entire meal even though it’d been years since his throat felt as tight as it did right then. By the time they were all done, Kakashi was forced to stay in his seat— _the next time you come here we’ll let you help out, now you keep your ass on that bench, Kakashi-kun!_ —as Minato and Kushina took the empty dishes away to the kitchen, which he certainly didn’t complain about. He needed the breather, he needed a few minutes to pull his shit together, and he did so by not moving his eyes away from the wall facing him.

When his phone buzzed from within his jeans’ pockets, Kakashi fished it out with his body functioning in auto-pilot. He glanced down at his locked screen to read the message he’d gotten, yet it wasn’t from any number he had saved on his phone.

+14 0 35 47 02 18: _Hey!!! About tomorrow, coul..._

Frowning and not having the slightest idea of who the fuck had plans with him tomorrow besides one person who certainly didn’t have his number, Kakashi unlocked his phone just to be greeted with the entire message.

_+14 0 35 47 02 18: Hey!!! About tomorrow, could we cut the training short at 8? I’m gonna have a breakfast thing at 9:30 :)_

Kakashi stared down at his phone for a few seconds, the frown very much still present as he tried to figure out how the fuck she’d gotten his number, and then his brilliantly eloquent mind typed in the most articulate answer he could possibly think of.

_Sakura?_

His eyes didn’t move from the screen and when he saw the three dots showing she was typing a response his heart thumped a little bit louder in his chest. And of course that was precisely the moment Kushina and Minato came back and sat down again, the red-haired woman now settling next to her husband—who instantly took her hand in his own, their fingers intertwining so naturally Kakashi wondered if they even noticed it.

It was with a frustrated sigh—which he hid from his hosts, of course—that Kakashi locked his phone and set it on the table next to his left hand, ignoring how it buzzed despite how desperately he wanted to look down at it. 

“So, are you taking the job?” Kushina leaned forward onto the table, her eyes focused on Kakashi as she waited for his reaction after she jumped straight to the point.

“I’m not sure yet.” Kakashi brushed the back of his neck and then glanced at Minato. “Why are you even considering me?”

“ _Kakashi_ ,” Minato looked at him with that softly exasperated face only he could accomplish. “I know you and I know you’re the right man for this job.”

Kakashi truly didn’t know what to say. Had he really vouched for Kakashi even though it’d been eight years since they’d last spoken? Even though Kakashi was a huge fucking mess by the end of his combat career, that even Minato himself begged him to step away back then?

Did he really think Kakashi could do it now?

“This is _not_ eight years ago,” Minato added as if he’d just read Kakashi’s mind. “Those were special circumstances, you’d just lost your teammates and you couldn’t possibly be expected to act as you normally would.”

“I do remember the words ‘danger to even himself’ being applied to me at my hearing.”

“Well, when the agents start making suicidal choices we know it’s time to take them off the field and help, which is what was done in your case. Still, you _know_ that ending didn’t change the career you built. You were still honourably discharged, you are still the best agent we’ve seen in _decades_. All the medals you’ve earned certainly proved it, it’s not over nothing that you’ve earned more than any other soldier your age. Everybody wanted you for this job even back then, the only reason why you haven’t been there for seven years is because you said no. You _are_ the right man for it.”

“That’s a lot of confidence you have in me.”

“I _know_ you, Kakashi,” Minato urged. 

“Do you? We haven’t spoken in eight years, how do you know I’m not deranged?”

Minato looked sheepishly at the table between them, making Kakashi narrow his eyes. Who the fuck could have kept an eye on him and reported back to Minato? When it came down to it, there were only two people who knew both of them in army capacity and that left the question of which of them would do it.

“Genma or Tsunade?”

“Tsunade.”

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed. “She never spoke to me about this.”

“She’d been giving me updates on you for years now. Tsunade knows where you belong, Kakashi, and it isn’t at KU.”

Only slightly surprised with Tsunade’s part in this, Kakashi busied himself with taking a sip of his drink so that he wouldn’t have to say anything. The buzzing coming from his phone was nearly driving him insane, the anticipation to read it being the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment.

Risking a peek as the locked screen blinked to life again, Kakashi quickly read what he could of the thread of texts Sakura was sending him:

+14 0 35 47 02 18: _You actually don’t know about th..._

+14 0 35 47 02 18: _I swear I’m not creeping on y…_

+14 0 35 47 02 18: _Remind me to kill Genma whe…_

Fighting against an amused grin, it took everything in Kakashi to not pick up his phone and answer her. Noting how suspiciously quiet both Kushina and Minato had gotten, though, Kakashi focused his attention back on them before they could have the guts to ask him anything about it.

“I don’t know why you’re making this so difficult, Kakashi-kun,” Kushina said, although Kakashi didn’t miss the knowing look she gave him as she glanced at his phone. “It’s not like you enjoy even teaching, you know?” 

“Who says I don’t?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her.

“Ok, that’s _it_!” Kushina raised her hands in exasperation. “Kakashi-kun, it’s time to stop running, ok? I remember how it used to be when you first joined the army, how you were seen as your dad’s kid and nothing else. But by the time you were discharged you were a greater soldier than he’d ever been. That doesn’t go away. You can still employ your services doing the career you love, you just have to _stop_ running from it.”

Kakashi kept his eyes fixed on his now empty glass the entire time she spoke, and didn’t move them after she got quiet.

“Love…” Minato started.

“No, he needs to hear this.” Kushina shook her head and reached over the table to grasp Kakashi’s hand. “Kakashi-kun, a lot of shit happened, you know, but that’s unfortunately how it _is_. It wasn’t your fault, there was literally nothing you could have done differently. You weren’t even in the same squad as them anymore, hadn’t been in _years_! The fact that you were there at all when it happened just proves how much of a loyal soldier and _friend_ you are, and Obito and Rin _never_ doubted that. You don’t have to stop living just because they didn’t get to.”

Kakashi was pretty sure he heard Minato stopping Kushina before she could continue, but at this point there was little he could do besides focus on that one point his eyes had been fixed on for what felt like hours now. It was only when Kushina squeezed his hands reassuringly across the table that he realised they were now closed in tight fists, and he knew right then that he needed to get the fuck out of that house.

.

.

.

By the time the ringing got to him, Kakashi’s awareness went as far as to realising it was nighttime. It certainly didn’t feel like too long had passed since he’d gotten home, changed into his workout clothes, and ran out of his building, but apparently he’d been wrong.

Kakashi also knew where he was. After years of running religiously through the woods surrounding Konoha, he sometimes knew how to locate himself better with the trees surrounding him than the buildings and right now he knew he’d run enough to come close to the residential area he’d left in a hurry just a few hours before.

He sped up again, and only when the ringing came back—had it even stopped?—Kakashi took the phone out of his track pants’ pocket and looked down at the screen. His eyes went over the bunch of text messages he’d gotten without really focusing much on them, yet from what he could gather all were from his friends wondering where the fuck he was. Tenzou had just called him for the seventh time, and it was only when Kakashi read one specific text from him that he remembered they’d said they’d get a taxi to Asuma and Kurenai’s together that night.

It was 8:30 pm. Kakashi should have been there at seven.

Groaning, Kakashi put his phone back in his pocket and took off to his right, soon enough leaving the woods and stepping into one of the streets in the suburbs. He was pretty sure his friends’ house wasn’t far from there, maybe fifteen more minutes running, and Kakashi took off knowing he’d eventually get there. When he did and was let inside—only realising he hadn’t really focused on who’d opened the door after it was too late—he realised his friends were already midway through the meal. 

“Kakashi.” Kurenai’s voice made his eyes focus on her as she lingered close to him. “Come on, sit. You need to eat something.”

He complied, sitting down at his usual place on their table and only then realising how he was fucking starving. The dull, annoying pain in his head made it even harder for him to focus and it was then that Kakashi realised he hadn’t really eaten or drunken anything for about seven hours even though they’d been spent running and running and _running_.

He did notice the worried glances his friends’ exchanged around the table, yet the energy to give a fuck about it just wasn’t there. By the time Kakashi was done eating—he was always the first to finish—it took every ounce of social decency he had in him to not just stand up and go home, which was the only place he wanted to be at the moment. The headache was gone, at least, which was great because he’d rather feel nauseous as he did at the moment than what he’d been dealing with before.

When everybody moved to the kitchen, so did he. At some point someone had put a beer bottle in his hands and Kakashi drank. One bottle became two, and the easy access to Asuma and Kurenai’s fridge made sure he wouldn’t stop there.

“And so yeah, her notes were hidden under her thighs,” Kurenai carried on with some story from the midterms she’d applied that week which Kakashi hadn’t heard the beginning of. “Which was honestly so stupid I almost felt sorry for her.”

“I mean, she could have pulled it off if she’d been sneakier,” Tenzou pointed out.

“No one spends _that_ long staring down at their crotch without something being at the works down there.” Asuma shrugged as he sipped his beer, stealing snorts and chuckles from Kurenai and Tenzou.

“You guys remember that time Genma was caught cheating by a proctor and actually managed to flirt his way out of it?” Kurenai grinned.

“He ended up dating her for six months, didn’t he?” Kakashi stepped in, ignoring his friends’ surprised glances at his contribution to the conversation.

“Oh, yeah!” Asuma quickly recovered, letting out a booming laugh as he remembered. “That sneaky bastard.”

“The one and only,” Kakashi agreed as he took another sip of his beer.

Tenzou started telling his own story about some guy that had spilt his coffee on his exam twenty minutes before time was up, completely ruining the paper and earning him a zero in return, which launched a discussion between three of the professors present as to whether the guy deserved to take the test again or not. Kakashi remained nursing his beer the entire time, remaining stoic despite the fact that his heartbeat was pounding a lot harder in his chest then he was comfortable with even though it’d been at least some time since he’d stopped running.

“Tenzou, our azaleas’ are acting up, can you take a look at them?” Kurenai pointed a thumb at the garden behind her, shooting Tenzou an inquiring glance.

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

If Kakashi’s head had been in the right place he would have noticed the inconspicuous look Asuma and Kurenai exchanged, yet all he did was watch as she led Tenzou out of the glass doors of the kitchen to the garden and turned the light on the outside. Kakashi carried on leaning against the counter and nursing what he was pretty sure was now his fifth beer of the night while Asuma loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. 

Doing a quick counting down in his head, Kakashi lowered his beer and turned his head to Asuma.

“Where’s Gai?”

“Uh, left a while ago.” Asuma turned to stare at him, one of his eyebrows raised. “Hey, Kakashi… what’s going on, mate?”

“Just tired.”

Asuma nodded, shutting the dishwasher’s door and pressing the commands to set it off.

“What did you do today?” he asked as he straightened up.

“Hm,” Kakashi raised the beer to his lips again. “Nothing particularly interesting.”

“Did you start correcting your midterms?”

Kakashi turned to stare at his friend, frowning as his mind tried to catch up with whatever the fuck it was Asuma wanted to talk about.

“No.”

“Really? Not even Sakura’s?”

Kakashi lowered the beer as he was raising it again and focused his eyes on Asuma, who now had both arms crossed as he watched him carefully. His sudden laser-sharp focus at the mention of her name was almost enough to make him light-headed, yet Kakashi kept it at bay just like he’d done many times before. 

“What?”

“You guys looked pretty close on Saturday.”

Kakashi blinked three times as he stared at his friend.

“You can’t be serious.”

“She’s great, Kakashi.” Asuma leaned his hip against the counter. “We really liked her. I just wanted to ask y…”

“I can’t believe this shit.” Kakashi placed his almost empty beer on the counter.

“Hold up, mate.” Asuma raised a hand to placate Kakashi, even though he hadn’t moved from his place. “I just wanna ask if y…”

Kakashi made his way out of the kitchen before Asuma could finish his sentence, not giving a single shit as to whether he tried to follow him or not. It’s not like he would’ve stopped to listen either way and when Kakashi stepped his foot outside the house he was running again.

The woods welcomed him as they always did, the path clear in his head and his eyes having no trouble adjusting even though it was pitch dark, and he ran and ran and ran until he knew he was close to his studio. He stepped back into the city again, now onto the familiar streets close to his place, and in the back of his mind Kakashi acknowledged the relief he felt as he unlocked his building’s door and flung himself up the stairs to his apartment.

He was greeted by a snoozy Pakkun lying close to the door, who immediately jumped to attention as soon as he realised the state Kakashi was in. He was already pulling his shirt over his head by the time the door closed behind him, his mind already set on the shower he so desperately needed, when his eyes caught on the present he’d left on his kitchen island before leaving for lunch at Minato and Kushina’s and he froze. 

With Pakkun’s cold nose pressing against his ankle in a non-verbal show of support, Kakashi slowly crouched to scratch him behind the ears to try and comfort the now agitated pug. No matter how much that day had blindsided him, Kakashi wasn't the same person he was years ago. He had learned a lot since then and the last few months, the last few months with _her_ had taught him how to be better, lighter. 

Kakashi stood beneath the shower head that night until he ran out of hot water, focusing on his breathing and trying to remind himself of how far he'd come. By the time he laid down in bed, with Pakkun resting on his stomach, he felt marginally better. He swore to himself that he would do everything he could to be ok for the next morning.

And it was at that moment that he realised he’d never opened Sakura’s texts.

Kakashi reached for his phone where it laid on his bedside table, trying to do so as quietly as possible so he wouldn’t disrupt Pakkun’s peace. After opening the messages app he couldn’t help but smile at the little number telling him Sakura had sent him fourteen messages and he wasted no time before opening them.

_Hey!!! About tomorrow, could we cut the training short at 8? I’m gonna have a breakfast thing at 9:30 :)_

_Sakura?_

Kakashi couldn’t help but shake his head at his own stupidity but soon enough there was a quiet smile taking form on his lips as he continued reading what he hadn’t seen before.

_Uh… yeah? It’s me!_

_Wait_

_Didn’t you know about this?_

_Genma put in the note that you knew!!! Don’t you???_

_Oh fuck this is so weird, I’m so sorry!_

_I should probably explain right!!!! Ok so Genma popped by at the Rusty Kunai on sunday and he gave my coworker a note!_

_I wasn’t there on sunday because I had a midterm on monday and yeah it was in the afternoon but I wanted to sleep a lot so I took the night off_

_Anyway_

_Genma asked Kiba to give it to me the next time he saw me, which was yesterday on our shift together_

_The note had your number on it!!!!!! It also said you were waiting to have my number back and I thought it was weird that you hadn’t mentioned this at all this week but still!!!!_

_Ahhhh I should’ve known you’d never let Genma do this I can’t believe it_

_You actually don’t know about this do you_

_I swear I’m not creeping on you ok_

_Remind me to kill Genma when I see him again_

Kakashi was on the verge of tears at this point, chuckling so hard he managed to wake Pakkun up—although Kakashi dared say the pug looked relieved to see him ok again and was willing to sacrifice his sleep for it. Even though he could literally murder Genma the next time he saw him—just the _thought_ of how many more of these surprises he could expect from the imbecile Kakashi somehow called best friend made his skin crawl—he couldn’t help but be slightly thankful for this.

Sure, the brunet had no right whatsoever to meddle that much in their lives but Kakashi was fucking glad he could talk to Sakura just then, even if just for a little bit.

He _really_ needed this.

It was honestly embarrassing how clammy Kakashi’s hands were as he started typing in a response.

_Those were definitely the upside of my day_

In the seconds that followed after he pressed ‘send’, Kakashi experienced the most embarrassing case of nerves he’d ever had. His heart was now thumping strongly inside his chest, and if the disgusting clamminess hadn’t been enough to piss him off, the ridiculous faint trembling that overtook his hands as he waited to see whether Sakura would answer definitely did him in. Huffing in indignation at his own body’s betrayal, Kakashi started using one hand to scratch Pakkun’s ears, which of course the pug had no complaints against. He even took the time to save Sakura's contact as he waited, just in a failed attempt to keep himself occupied. As soon as three dots popped up on Sakura’s side of the chat, though, Kakashi completely froze in anticipation.

Checking the time on the upper left corner of his phone, Kakashi noticed there were less than fifteen minutes left until midnight, which undoubtedly meant Sakura’s _birthday_. And yet, for some reason, here she was humouring him. Of course, though, Kakashi wouldn’t dare complain as his eyes read over the message she sent right then.

_Wow must’ve been a shitty day :/ hope tomorrow’s better!_

Kakashi felt himself smile at that, his fingers hovering above the keyboard on his phone as he figured out what to say. Was this seriously happening? He wasn’t much of a texter, really, in exactly how many ways could he possibly screw this up? How long was too long before he answered? And how short was too desperate? Was there even such a thing? 

Was she waiting for his reply just as he’d been waiting for hers just before?

Blocking his thoughts away, Kakashi’s fingers moved on his own accord as he typed his next message.

_So, Genma strikes again, hm?_

_I swear if I had any way of contacting him I’d have killed him by now_

Judging by how fast Sakura answered—which was _very_ fast—Kakashi received his confirmation that indeed she was waiting on the other side just like he was. He also felt really fucking relieved she wasn’t caring about stupid things like trying not to sound desperate. If they wanted to talk to each other why pretend like they didn’t?

Although... was she seriously focusing on _him_ when surely there must be other people trying to talk to her so close to her birthday?

_Don’t worry, I got it_

_I thought he was under your protection, though?_

_Hah, that definitely changed now_

_For fuck’s sake was it the note? How bad is it?_

_On a scale of one to ten, I’d rate it a twelve_

Kakashi groaned at that, dread running through his very bones as his imagination picked up on all the kinds of horrid things Genma could have possibly said to her.

_Can I read it?_

_Absolutely not_

Sakura sent him a laughing face—Kakashi’s friends had desperately tried to make him learn the name of that shit but he refused to do so as a matter of principle—which honestly only added to his dread. Did Sakura not understand his imagination was running wild at that moment and that it would definitely be in both of their interests to put him out of his misery? 

At that, Kakashi shared a glance with Pakkun, who was intently watching him with his big, brown eyes from where he now laid on the mattress close to his legs.

“Sorry buddy, I’m sure you’re dying to talk to her too but it’s an opposable thumbs thing.” He scratched his dog’s jowls and kept at it until his phone buzzed to life again.

_You never answered if we can cut our training short today_

_Of course we can. Breakfast plans right?_

_Uhum :)_

_With my parents. Really exciting_

_Hmm sounds like it_

Checking the time again, Kakashi noticed there were only five minutes left until midnight. Surely she would find an excuse to stop talking to him soon enough, and Kakashi braced himself for it as the three dots popped up again.

_Is Pakkun there?_

Fighting against a smile and ultimately losing, Kakashi turned his camera on and turned it to his pug. He couldn’t help but giggle at the picture he took after he looked at it, as if it was possible to refrain from doing so with those huge, droopy eyes staring at him as his little head rested between his little paws.

Almost as if he knew the picture was for Sakura, Pakkun got up and moved closer to Kakashi’s side and put his head over the crook of his arm to peer down at the screen. Kakashi typed in the text box so he could write something attached to the picture he was about to send her.

_He’s actually looking at the screen right now_

_Ahhhh CUTE!!!_

_And of course he is!!!! Such a smart boy, I miss him_

If Kakashi hadn’t been smiling before that, he certainly was now.

_He says he misses you too_

Sakura’s answer to that consisted of a thread of heart emoticons—was that it?—that left Kakashi scratching behind Pakkun’s ears so he could give the dog some of the affection he was virtually receiving. 

And then he saw the clock turn to 00:00. Even though he of course wanted to mention it _really_ bad, he refrained from doing so. 

As much as Kakashi had expected Sakura to say goodbye to enjoy the beginning of her birthday doing literally anything that didn’t involve talking to him, she didn’t. They kept on talking non-stop for another forty minutes, with about a billion pictures of Pakkun being shared in that meantime, and the first time Sakura sent him an audio it had left both him and the pug reeling at the sound of her voice.

In fact, Kakashi went through the effort of filming Pakkun’s reaction to hearing it after he connected his phone to his speaker system and pressed play. Sakura’s answer to Pakkun’s eager attempts to locate her around the studio was a thirteen-second audio of her laughing, which Kakashi swore to never lose no matter what.

_I can’t believe he remembers my voice!!! Are you sure he doesn’t do that to any voice you put there?_

To prove his point, Kakashi played a video Kurenai had sent him from the day they made a barbecue over at their house on Summer, and even the sound of _Kakashi’s_ voice about thirty seconds in wasn’t enough to get Pakkun up from his comfortable position.

Which of course stung, not that he’d ever admit it. 

They talked more and more, and by the time the clock hit 1:30 am, Sakura reminded him they should probably sleep if they had any hopes of getting up for training in the next few hours. With the perspective of seeing Sakura soon to look forward to and knowing she’d chosen to spend the first hours of her birthday talking nonsense with him for some reason, Kakashi couldn’t help but go to sleep with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: this chapter contains sensitive content regarding dissociation and references to suicide.
> 
> ...
> 
> OK!! I have some announcements to make now that you guys have read it!
> 
> first of all: I rewrote the beginning of this story. I've been absolutely hating it since August, I think (a month after I posted it lol) but only now got the guts to set my wrongs right. why did I start hating it? well, when I started this story I really had no idea where this was going and I didn't really have experience writing fanfiction, so I really messed up Sakura's characterisation by having her being terrified of Kakashi at first, even if it changed after she stood up to him on chapter 3. I couldn't even think about the beginning of running out of reasons without cringing and I realised that I don't have to put myself through that, that I could just change it, so there we go!
> 
> I've edited several chapters too just to keep up with the changes I made, but nothing plot-wise has changed! I would suggest that you guys re-read the first chapter, but it isn't necessary to read the entire thing again, really! 
> 
> ok, second point! Kakashi's backstory! I get a lot of reviews talking about it and that you guys are super curious so I hope this chapter satisfied your curiosity for a while! I'm pretty sure it's still kinda confusing, but I'm not gonna explain everything exactly how it happened until Kakashi tells Sakura about it, but I swear that's coming up!
> 
> thiiiird point! this chapter TERRIFIED me. I have absolutely no experience writing characters going through dissociation episodes and I did my best here after conducting research and getting feedback from people who go through it, but I'm still fucking terrified. hope it was real enough
> 
> fourth point! I have a question to ask you guys: when it comes to warnings, how do you guys want me to do it? like for example, when the smut starts would you like me to mention it on an A/N at the top of the chapter? please let me know!
> 
> fifth point! I've created a Tumblr!!!!! I'd love to connect more with you guys, so if you have any interest in reaching out, I'm pandorasbox014 there! :)
> 
> ok, I think that's it for now guys. you know I love you all, and I really hope you liked this! please, please leave a review <3
> 
> \- A


	22. birthday surprise

“Come on, you must’ve at least _looked_ at it!”

“I mean, I did glance at the paper when you handed it over.”

Sakura’s frustrated groan brought a grin to Kakashi’s lips that he didn’t even bother hiding from her, which of course only helped fuel her irritation. Why the hell would Kakashi just go ahead and tell her she’d gotten a 96 on her midterm when he could keep having fun like this?

Of course he’d feel obligated to comply if she decided to use the birthday card on him, though, which she still hadn’t bothered to mention.

“You know I don’t believe you at _all_ , right?” Sakura asked, one light pink eyebrow raised as she turned her head to look up at him.

“Even if I’d taken a more careful look at it, do you honestly think you’re entitled to preferential treatment? You’re the one always going on about ethics, I don’t see how that doesn’t apply to you hearing your grade before your classmates.”

“ _Entitled_?” Sakura stopped walking in her shock, which Kakashi of course ignored. “ _Hey_!”

“You’re the one who stopped walking, Sakura,” he called over his shoulder, both hands stuffed deep into his running shorts’ pockets.

He heard her soft footsteps hitting the sidewalk as she jogged to catch up with him and was still unable to shake that smirk off his face.

“The _disrespect_ ,” she grumbled, her head shaking as she looked straight ahead and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I just want to say _I_ would never do this to you.”

“And what exactly are you referring to?” Kakashi looked down at her, one eyebrow arched in curiosity.

“Withholding crucial information for my own amusement!” She stepped in front of him and turned to face him, her arms spreading wide. “Come _on_ , Kakashi, just tell me!”

He might have told her just then, he _really_ might. The only problem is that she’d stepped right onto the early morning sunlight’s path that slipped through an opening between two buildings above them, and the sight of her jade eyes shining infinitely brighter as her pupil shrunk to adjust to the sudden light was more than enough to distract him beyond possible measure.

“ _Well_?” Her arms once again crossed in front of her chest as she looked up at him with one eyebrow raised.

“Hm?”

“Oh, _for fuck’s sake_.” Sakura rolled her eyes and stuffed her hands into her grey workout jacket before walking again, this time ahead of Kakashi. Of course, he had absolutely zero issues catching up with her, which he did right after appreciating the sight of her walking ahead of him wearing leggings for a second or two.

It was surely a huge difference from how he’d been feeling the previous day, that was for sure. Kakashi had gone to sleep the night before—five hours earlier, actually—dreading the possibility of not being able to give Sakura the birthday she deserved. In fact, Kakashi had spent the entire walk over to pick her up worrying his ass off about it, which he definitely did not appreciate. Yet, as it turned out, for some twisted reason just seeing her walk out of her building had already taken off a huge part of the weight his shoulders had been carrying for the past day.

And then when she started teasing him about how he was still picking her up even though the sun was now rising before six in the morning it’d been really fucking easy to just forget all the shit that’d happened to him the day before, and Kakashi couldn’t have been more thankful for the relief Sakura brought him that morning.

He really hoped she’d enjoy what he'd planned for her.

“Did you have your first supervision session with Ebisu on Friday?” Kakashi asked as the turned the corner of the Rusty Kunai’s street.

“Oh, yeah, I did.” Sakura turned her head to look up at him. “He’s pretty good.”

Kakashi hummed as he stepped off the curb to cross to the other side.

“That’s all?”

“I’m not giving you any compliments until you tell me my grade,” Sakura shot back, earning a chuckle from Kakashi in return.

The closer they got to the gym, though, the tighter Kakashi’s stomach curled into itself. For fuck’s sake, what the fuck had he been _thinking_ going on with this shit? He’d never gone out of his way to surprise anyone before, he didn’t know how to do that shit, even less do it _well_ , and what if it showed? What if she hated it? 

Or what if she hadn’t mentioned her birthday because it’s some kind of trigger for her and now he’d just go ahead and remind her of it? It took everything in Kakashi to not slam his palm into his forehead at that sudden thought.

How the _fuck_ had he not thought of that?

By the time he was slipping the key into the gym’s lock, Kakashi was on the verge of pretending he smelt gas just so that he could justify them not going inside. 

“Are you ok?”

Kakashi looked down at Sakura, his hand still wrapped around the key as he turned it. All trace of her irritation was gone as she studied him carefully as if she knew there was something weird in how quiet he’d been for the past few minutes. Kakashi didn’t doubt she did, and even though he knew he should feel even weirder at how much easier it clearly was getting for her to read him than it’d been when they first met, he just couldn’t find it himself to feel anything bad about it.

“You sure you want to train?” he asked her. “You’re always complaining about the cold and it’s warm now, don’t you wanna stay outside?”

“It’s not warm, Kakashi, it’s thirteen degrees.” She smiled at him, her voice patient as if she not only knew perfectly well he was stalling but also found it adorable.

 _Fuck_.

“Thirteen is warm, Sakura.”

“I’m sure it’s warmer inside the gym.”

“Hm, I’m sure the heater’s broken.”

“That’s ok, it’s warmer inside anyway.”

“I think the gym flooded actually.”

Sakura cocked her head to the side at that, squinting her eyes at him cautiously.

“Why don’t you want me to go inside?”

“What?” He frowned. “Who said I didn’t?”

“If you didn’t want to train today you could have just told me. You do have my number now, you know?”

“No, it’s not that.” Kakashi brushed a hand up his face. “It’s just… I might have done something stupid.”

“What did you do?” Her eyes widened a bit in alarm, her gaze turning to the door as if she could actually see anything inside. “You haven’t kidnapped anyone and are holding them hostage in there, have you?”

“Hm, no, not this time.” Kakashi fought against a smile despite how ridiculously clammy his hands were at the moment, which they hadn’t been for been fucking _years_.

“Can’t be that bad, then.” Sakura shrugged as a tiny smile broke through her lips. 

Kakashi chuckled as he looked away from her and eyed the empty street around them, the weird fluttering in his stomach not even slightly going away. At this point, that weird thing had happened enough times that he knew the sight of her smiling up at him seemed to be the biggest trigger for it, but _still_ it didn’t make it all any less annoying.

“Is this about me?”

“Why would you think it is?” He glanced back at her, incapable of stopping himself from admiring the cunning he saw in her jade eyes.

“Because you can barely look me in the eyes.” She raised an eyebrow at him, the left corner of her lip slightly tugging upwards in a smile.

 _Fuck_ , Kakashi wanted to kiss her.

“Keep staring at my lips and I’ll be getting the wrong idea,” she smirked.

“Wouldn’t be the wrong idea.” His eyes moved up her face to lock against her jade ones once again.

“Ok, how is _that_ fair?” Sakura protested. “We have a deal and you do everything you can to make it impossible to respect it.”

“You know what’s not fair? Blaming me for the fact that you get worked up ridiculously easy,” Kakashi smirked at her.

“Ok, well, unless you’re planning on standing here in front of this door all morning, you’ve got three choices.” She raised a pink eyebrow at him as she raised her right hand and started enumerating each option as she said them. “We can either go inside and train, we can _not_ go inside and go somewhere else, _or_ you can stop teasing me and actually do something about it.”

“Maa, Sakura, look at you getting all bold.” Kakashi smiled, the will to take her up on her offer almost too strong for him to keep in check.

“It’s almost as if you don’t know me at all, honestly.” She looked fiercely up at him, which certainly didn’t help in his self-control.

Kakashi hummed, well aware of the effect the sound had on Sakura and relishing on the blush that started climbing up her neck.

“You know, don’t you?” She tilted her head to the side as she raised a pink eyebrow at him.

“What, specifically?” Kakashi asked as he lowered his hand to his pocket. “I know many things.”

Sakura’s jade eyes searched his for a few seconds, the corner of her lips tugging upwards as she apparently found what she was looking for.

“How did you find out?”

Kakashi really did consider playing it off again right then but the fact that the smile on her lips didn’t exactly resemble one of someone who’d just been triggered motivated him to at least answer her question.

“I saw it when I was putting your grade on the system.”

He had been on his way to adding a ‘happy birthday’ to it when a strangled snort escaped his throat as Sakura started assaulting his chest with slaps, her smile all but gone as rage took over her.

“I _knew_ you’d graded it, I _knew_ it!” She kept on hitting him—quite strongly, Kakashi might add—and the sound of Kakashi’s laughter only fueled her rage. “You are _insufferable_ , did you know that?! Tell me what I got! I swea...”

“How are you _this_ strong if you don’t work out?” he pointed out after a particular hit of her palms that made him wince.

Sakura glared up at him and Kakashi couldn’t help but smile even more at _that_ look, which he hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing ever since their first thesis supervision session over two months before. Her hands were now frozen against his chest, though, which turned out to distract him from the pink-haired woman’s murderous rage for a few seconds.

“I’ll kill you,” she affirmed.

“Hm, that’d be pretty bad.” Kakashi forced a cringe as he looked down at her. “I’m not sure the punishment fits the crime, though.”

Instead of saying anything else or continuing her assault on his chest, Sakura turned to the gym’s door and turned the knob, stepping inside with zero hesitation while completely ignoring Kakashi’s barely coherent protests.

“Sakura.” He walked in right behind after, easily stepping around her so that he could block her view of the space below the platform they were standing on. “ _Sakura_!”

Still set on dodging him, Sakura bolted to the metal staircase to her right. Kakashi knew he could easily outrun her but he couldn’t risk her flinging herself down the stairs—which he honestly wasn’t putting past her at the moment—so all he did was wait in terrible resignation for whatever her reaction would be. He heard the sound of her shoes on the metal steps cease as she reached the middle of the staircase and he knew she’d stopped because she’d spotted the poorly wrapped package sitting in the middle of the mat they always trained on.

Silence. Devastating, absolute silence.

That morning he’d imagined many possible outcomes to this, that maybe she’d start laughing at his stupidity, throw the present at his head, or she’d just turn and leave without even opening it—or worse, _after_ opening it—but he hadn’t imagined this horrible silence as a possibility.

Her footsteps’ echo on the metal was lighter as she slowly climbed down the rest of the stairs, and then Kakashi couldn’t hear anything as she reached the floor. He was counting silently inside his head with each passing second, and the longer time went by and he didn’t hear anything his stomach just curled tighter and tighter to the point that he actually thought he might throw up.

“Are you gonna get your ass down here or do I have to ask nicely?”

Unclenching his fists and only then realising he’d clenched them at all, Kakashi took a deep breath and stepped forward so that he could see the space below the platform. Sakura was standing shoeless right in the middle of the mat with the poorly wrapped package grasped in her hands as if it was something precious. 

And she was looking at him.

 _That_ was what took his breath away. He hadn’t even been properly breathing to begin with but right then Kakashi couldn’t have made use of oxygen even if he’d bothered to try. The raw, uncensored happiness he could see reflected in Sakura’s jade eyes even through this distance as she looked up at him was just too much for Kakashi to deal with just then and for a second there he nearly followed through with his instinct to just turn around and run.

He’d never been on the receiving end of a look like that, ever, and he didn’t know what to do with it.

“You didn’t even open it yet,” he said, glad at least his voice sounded normal albeit a bit more strained. “I’d lower my expectations if I were you.”

“Never.” Sakura shook her head. “Kakashi, can you _please_ get down here?”

How could he possibly say no to that? Willing himself to endure it, regardless of how fucking _stupid_ that present was and how much Sakura would surely hate it—honestly, what the fuck was he _thinking_ when he bought it?—Kakashi made his way down the stairs. He ran a hand through his hair as he stepped onto the floor of the lower level, ridiculously unable to look at Sakura as he walked in her direction.

Even though he kept his eyes trained on the floor the entire time, he could still sense her walking in his direction. Maybe she’d finally test everything he’d been teaching her for the past weeks and punch him in the face or maybe kick him in the balls, and while Kakashi knew he would take whatever she’d give him, he had to fight back against a wince as her white socks entered his line of vision.

He surely hadn’t expected her to throw her arms around his neck and pull him into a tight hug, though.

It took Kakashi about three seconds to acknowledge what was happening, yet he still couldn’t quite believe it as his own arms wrapped around her waist, hesitantly at first but more surely right after. Even though he could feel the soft package resting against the back of his left shoulder, the fingers of Sakura’s free hand threaded his roots at the nape of his neck and the sensation alone was enough for Kakashi to close his eyes. He couldn’t help but breathe in the scent of her, the strawberry shampoo he now knew so well making him nuzzle her hair instinctively. 

The few times he’d had the opportunity to touch Sakura more freely had always left him reeling at the effect she had on him, but not even the night on the bench had been enough to prepare Kakashi for what hugging her felt like. How fucking _easy_ it was for Sakura to mould herself with him and how they just _fit_ into each other was honestly so overwhelming but so _right_ Kakashi knew he wouldn’t be able to be the first one to step away from her, ever.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, did you know that?” she asked, her voice sounding muffled from where her face was buried in his collarbone. 

Sakura stepped away from him before Kakashi could answer—and certainly before he was ready to let her go. His heart clenched in his chest, though, when his eyes locked on hers and he saw a pool of unshed tears in them. 

He felt a surge of panic go through him, his mind not really picking up on all the mixed signals he was getting. She wouldn’t have hugged him if she was sad, would she? His mind ran and tried to come up with an explanation, yet when it came down to it Kakashi knew he was seeing Sakura cry for the first time and _he_ was the one responsible for it.

“These are happy tears, you moron,” Sakura let out a choked chuckle as she brushed the fingers of one hand under her eyes, his present still carefully grasped in her left one.

“Sakura…”

“You better get used to seeing me cry, Kakashi, it happens a lot.” She smiled up at him, her eyes once again filling with tears that made his heart clench ever tighter. “Can I open it?”

He glanced down at the package in her hands, really fucking dreading the moment she’d see what was inside but now unwilling to fight against it and nodding to prove it. How ridiculous would it be if he just turned around and walked away so that he wouldn’t need to see the disappointment in her eyes when she opened it?

“Did you wrap it yourself?” she asked as she used a nail to carefully find the edge of one of the tape pieces holding it together.

“Are you being careful not to rip it because you think I might have?”

Sakura smiled up at him, which was of course more than enough of an answer.

“Yeah, I did it,” Kakashi confessed. “No respectable store would ever do this shitty thing.”

“Hey! I like it,” Sakura jokingly scowled at him and looked back down at the package. “I’m gonna rip it, though, ok?”

“Go ahead.” Kakashi nodded, his nervousness clouding any other reaction he might have at how cute she was being at the moment.

Sakura immediately and mercilessly ripped the red wrapping paper with deadly precision, her eyes immediately zeroing in on the white fabric she could now see. She made quick work of ripping the rest of the paper, just enough so that she was finally able to pull the T-shirt out of its confinement and let the now destroyed wrapping paper fall to the floor. The T-shirt was folded and Sakura had opened it upside down, yet the gasp that escaped her lips after she turned it around would have been more than enough proof that she’d seen the green turtle taking up most of its front.

Kakashi didn’t even have time to wince before Sakura’s gasp turned into delighted laughter, her jade eyes wide as she looked down at the now unfolded shirt with a huge smile playing on her lips. And then she was throwing her arms around Kakashi’s neck again and he took that as a good enough sign that she didn’t hate it.

“ _IloveitIloveitIloveit_ ,” Sakura chanted as she clung to his neck, and it was only then that Kakashi realised she had to stand on her tiptoes to do so.

He couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction, his heart now racing as the huge weight of apprehension left his shoulders. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist once again, although when he came to it he was actually pulling her off the floor and spinning her around. Sakura let out a surprised squeal at being lifted but it soon turned into a burst of gleeful laughter as she tightened her hold on him, her fingers once again naturally finding their way through the roots of his hair.

In the split second after he put her down Kakashi wondered where the _hell_ that easiness had come from, but thankfully Sakura distracted him before he could think further about it.

“Where did you _find_ that?” she asked, her beaming smile as she clutched the shirt in her hands being more than enough to make sure he smiled too.

“So…” He raised a hand to the back of his neck, his fingers absently touching the spot Sakura’s had been seconds before—and not feeling even an ounce as good. “Gai loves turtles and he has a bunch of turtle stuff in his house. I’m talking mugs, pyjamas, even his doormat. I just asked him where he bought them and went there yesterday morning.”

“Holy shit.” She shook her head, her eyes going down to stare at the shirt some more. “How far do you usually go when trying to prove your points?”

“I don’t need to prove my points, I’m just always right. You’ll see.”

Sakura snorted, rolling her eyes at him.

“Well, in your honour I’ll be wearing it on this year’s picture.” She started folding it as best as she could with no surrounding surfaces to help her and walked back to the mat, leaving a dumbfounded Kakashi behind.

“When are you taking it?” he asked, doing his very best to not let the knowledge that Sakura would be wearing the dumbass shirt he’d given her on a picture she’d keep for the rest of her life affect him as much as it clearly was meant to.

“Hm… I’m not sure. It needs to be soon, though, the first day of the blooming week was on Friday.” She placed the now folded T-shirt on the edge of the mat as Kakashi caught up to her and busied himself with taking off his sneakers.

By the time he stepped onto the mat Sakura was looking at him with a gentle smile on her face, one of her hands clutched around her other wrist in front of her. 

“Thanks, Kakashi. Really. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.” He shrugged and smiled at her as both of his hands found their way to the pockets of his running shorts. “Happy birthday, Sakura.”

“Thank you.” Her head cocked to the side as she smiled sweetly up at him, the end of her ponytail sliding from her shoulder to her back as she did so. “Can you tell me my grade now?”

“Maa, Sakura, greediness doesn’t suit you. Isn’t one present enough?”

“Ok, fine.” She rolled her eyes at him. “If I let my frustrations out on you during training I don’t want to hear a single word of complaint.”

“Hm, I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.” Kakashi grinned. “I like it rough well enough.”

Kakashi revelled the blush that fought its way up Sakura’s neck, regardless of her half-hearted attempt to roll her eyes at him. 

“I guess it’s good that we’re doing choking today,” he added, one eyebrow rising as he narrowed his eyes at her.

Sakura snorted at that, and the devilish grin that took over her lips regardless of the blush that now adorned her cheeks should have been enough for Kakashi to know he was one step away from having his ass handed back to him.

“ _Finally_ ,” she said, her jade eyes positively gleaming as she tilted her head slightly to the side, “been looking forward to this one for _ages_.”

Yeah, there it was. His stupid ass had crossed a line in this back-and-forth teasing they’d been doing for the past week that he definitely shouldn’t have, not when he _knew_ Sakura would never just let him have the last word. Kakashi’s hands tightened into fists inside his shorts’ pockets as he raised an eyebrow at Sakura, making the split decision of just accepting defeat for that round and stepping back into safe territory, which was definitely the smart thing to do considering what they’d be doing together for the next hour.

“All jokes aside, though, you ok with it?” he asked her.

Sakura raised a pink eyebrow at him as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“It’s cute that you still bother to ask.”

“Would you rather I didn’t?”

Kakashi watched as a smile took over Sakura’s lips as she loosened her arms down to her sides and shook her head slowly at him as if she just couldn’t believe him.

“Yeah, Kakashi, I’m ok with it.”

His answer to that consisted of a nod before he launched into the explanation of what he was planning for this particular area in the training. “There are five different choking scenarios I think would be good to cover. The most basic one, which is with your attacker facing you, then chokeholds from behind, when you’re backed against the wall, and when you’re being mounted.”

Kakashi saw the instant Sakura bit back on her tongue to stop herself from saying whatever it was she wanted to say, and he instantly narrowed his eyes at her.

“What?” he asked, absolutely certain he knew what Sakura had just thought of.

“Nope.” She shook her head, still clearly fighting against a smile. “I’m trying to be serious, excuse me.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her and it took exactly four seconds before Sakura let the smirk win over her will, which frustratingly enough made Kakashi smile just the same.

“I’ll tell you after you tell me my grade.”

“Maa, Sakura, I guess this is when you find out there’s no winning against me when it comes to a battle of wills.”

“Maa, _Kakashi_ ,” Sakura gave him a cocky smile, making Kakashi’s heart tighten in his chest at the imitation. “I guess this is when _you_ find out I’m surprisingly and absurdly stubborn.”

“Already knew it.”

Sakura’s smirk turned into a softer smile as she incredulously shook her head at him.

“Ok, let’s do this.” She moved her eyes away from him to where he knew the analogue clock that hung on the gym’s wall rested. “It’s already 6:50.”

Nodding, Kakashi took the lead with the warming off exercises he knew Sakura hated so much—not that she’d ever told him, her face was just _that_ expressive. By the time they were done running laps around the gym and followed through with their usual routine, Sakura had ditched her workout jacket and was wearing only a forest green short-sleeved shirt he hadn’t seen before.

“Ok, so,” Kakashi started as Sakura turned to face him again, “we need to talk about intensity.”

“Kakashi, I already told you I’m ok with going as close to the real thing as we possibly can.”

“The real thing would hurt you.”

Once again Sakura pursed her lips as she clearly stopped herself from saying something, and Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder if she even _knew_ how easy it was for him to read every single thing that went through her mind most of the time.

“ _That’s_ different, Sakura,” Kakashi answered her thoughts. “Being choked by an attacker would be entirely different from being choked in a safe environment by someone you trust.” 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Sakura nodded, only the faintest of blushes adorning her cheeks as she met Kakashi’s gaze head on. “Still, I want it as close to the real thing as possible. It doesn’t make sense to sugar-coat it.”

He couldn’t have stopped himself from smiling even if he’d actually bothered to try. Of course, he always would have respected Sakura’s wishes above anything else even if she’d wanted to take their training lightly, but her strong will and dedication were one of the things he admired the most about her.

“Ready, then?” Kakashi asked as he took a step closer to her, fighting against the urge to tuck that one stray strand of hair that had escaped from her ponytail behind her ear. “I’ll do it lightly once just for you to understand how to get out before we do it for real.” 

“Ok, sounds great.” She nodded, smiling up at him.

Kakashi used both hands to grab her neck, keeping his eyes steady on her jade one’s as he did so. It was ridiculously easy for his large hands to completely wrap around it, which he couldn’t help but notice as much as he tried not to.

“Ok, so, how would you try to get out of this?” he asked.

Sakura hesitated for just a second while an adorable frown took shape in her pink eyebrows before she raised both hands to grab Kakashi’s wrists. He actually had to fight against smiling at the sight of her small hands, which actually hid an immense amount of strength for someone her size, wrapping around his wrists.

“I’d try to pull your hands away,” she said without actually trying it.

“Ok, go ahead. I’m gonna tighten a little bit, ok?”

Sakura nodded and Kakashi followed through with his warning, slightly tightening his hold on her neck enough to solidify his grip there. After he nodded at her, Sakura started trying to pull his hands away, which she failed to do since, regardless of her higher-than-average strength, she was still no match for Kakashi.

“Anything else?” he asked after she realised this wasn’t the right way to do it and Kakashi loosened his hold on her once again, although he didn’t move his hands away—and neither did she.

“I know it’s not the right answer but I could just kick you in the balls.”

“I mean, you could surely try,” Kakashi shrugged. “The issue is that if you miss it, or if you fail to trigger a pain response because the attacker is too drunk or whatever, you’re just losing valuable time you won’t have in a situation like this.”

Sakura nodded in understanding, her jade eyes alert and calculating as she waited for his instructions. Kakashi couldn’t help but notice her hands _still_ hadn't left his wrists and he pushed that thought away to the far back of his mind where it wouldn’t distract him.

“So, to get out of it you need to think of that thumb rule. In this frontal choke, the attacker’s thumbs are right here,” he pressed his thumbs more strongly on the front of her neck where they rested to prove his point, “so this is the weaker part of his hold on you. But instead of using your hands to push him away, you’ll just slip out of his grip by bowing down and moving to the side. Wanna try it on me?”

Sakura had that focused look on her face as she nodded at Kakashi and he pulled his hands away from her neck, indicating for her to grab his instead. Her tiny hands barely closed around his thicker neck, though, which made both of them smile foolishly at each other.

“Come on, Sakura, I know you can do better than that.”

She rolled her jade eyes at him and tightened her grip on him. Sure enough, her hands might have been tiny but she surely had enough strength to make it uncomfortable for Kakashi’s neck to be on the receiving end of it. Still, it was easy enough for Kakashi to just bend forward out of her reach and shift his body to the side so that he was out of her reach. 

Sakura immediately nodded at him, her face all focused and serious again as she said she was ready to try it out. Kakashi resumed his hold on her neck and raised an eyebrow at her, silently waiting for her permission for his hold to tighten for real this time.

“Go ahead.” She nodded at him and Kakashi complied.

The excellent control he had on his own body made sure Kakashi applied the precise amount of strength he needed to make Sakura realise how tough it could be to find herself in a situation like that without actually hurting her, and so he did. Sakura quickly removed herself from his hold, though, and he was proud to notice she had instinctively stepped back with her right foot to steady her balance right before doing what he'd told her to do.

“That was _really_ good, Sakura,” Kakashi praised her as she raised her head to stare up at him, grinning at herself for having broken out. “Nice touch with the step.”

“Thank you,” she smiled up at him as the faintest of blushes adorned the top of her cheeks. Of _course_ it hadn't taken long at all for Kakashi to notice how she got any time he praised her, and of _course_ he’d already saved that little information for when he could actually use it. 

Thankfully, though, Sakura quickly stepped back to the spot in front of him so they could go again and Kakashi had no trouble going back into training mode. After a few more tries, he looked back so he could see the clock on the wall and noticed they only had one hour left before Sakura had to leave.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to cover all five of them today,” he said as he turned back to her. “Such a shame. I could see you were looking forward to it.”

“Ah, so now you’re pretending I’m the only one.”

Kakashi chuckled at that.

“Hm, those words never left my mouth. Want to move to the second one? It’s a little trickier.”

“ _Ohh_ ~, really?” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. “How so?”

“Well, it’s from behind.”

Sakura nodded at that as a smile tugged the corners of her lips. 

“Ok, then. Go ahead.”

Sakura followed his lead when Kakashi stepped directly behind her, and he carefully placed himself there for a few seconds for her to get used to his presence.

“I’m going to use my entire arm now, ok?”

Sakura looked at him over her shoulder, a pink eyebrow rising in her forehead.

“Sorry, what?”

“Like this,” Kakashi said as he used his right arm to circle around her shoulders, closing the crook of his elbow around her neck although he didn’t use any strength at it.

“Holy shit, ok,” Sakura giggled as her hands instinctively moved up to grab his arm.

“Is it really?” Kakashi pressed. “I might actually end up hoisting you up with this.”

Sakura actually snorted, which was funny enough for Kakashi to chuckle as well. 

“Now I want to see that happening,” she said and Kakashi knew she was smiling even though he couldn’t see her face.

At _that_ , Kakashi completely lost his shit. He did his best to kill his laughter before it escaped him but all he’d managed to do was let out a weird, strangled one which then propelled Sakura to laugh her ass off at _him_. He still had his arm loosely wrapped around her neck from behind and she leaned her head back to rest against his chest as she laughed. Kakashi didn’t even try to stop himself from nuzzling the top of her hair as he calmed himself down, the scent of _her_ soothing him like no other could.

“Come _on_ ,” Sakura tugged at his arms with her hands, her laughter slowly dying down. “Just once.”

“Ok, ok,” Kakashi snickered as he readied himself, shaking his head in utter disbelief. “Ready?”

He felt Sakura nodding against him and so he took the lead to tighten his hold on her neck. With his left fist pressing his right one back to his chest, it wasn’t hard at all for Kakashi to pull Sakura along with him as he started walking backwards on the mat. Her hands instinctively tightened their hold on his arm as she attempted to hold onto something since, as expected, her legs quickly lost their footing on the floor. 

“ _Ah_ ~ holy shit,” Sakura let out a strangled laugh as he carried her back.

Looking over her shoulder, Kakashi could see her tiny feet kicking away at the air as he brought her along with him, which was insanely cute and somehow funny at the same time. He couldn’t help but laugh along at the sound of Sakura’s strangled, frantic laughter and they were still at it when he put her down as soon as he reached the end of the mat.

“You ok?” he asked as he loosened his hold on her, unable to kill the smile he had on his face.

She still didn’t let go of his arm, though, so Kakashi took the lead to remain where he was and not step away from her.

“Holy _shit_ , that was hilarious” Sakura laughed as she caught her breath again and only then did she let go of his arm and turned her head to look back up at him. “But ok, yeah, this would be horrifying if it were anyone else.” 

Kakashi hummed at that, still smiling like a deranged idiot at her breathless smile and slightly red face.

Fucking _adorable_.

“How do I get out of it?” Sakura asked as she slightly twisted her torso so she could face him better.

“Well, the best thing you can do is react before your attacker pulls you away,” Kakashi said. “Your response needs to be automatic since as soon as your feet are off the ground, you lose your biggest chance of getting away.”

Kakashi then showed Sakura the proper way to get out of it, which was a little bit more complicated than what they’d been practising up until that point. It took Sakura two tries to master the shoulder slip, and that was before Kakashi started using strength on her. Still, they stayed pretty much the rest of their training session that morning practising that one move and by the end of it she had pretty much gotten the hang of it.

As Sakura’s phone started going off from where she’d laid it outside the mat, both she and Kakashi looked up at the analogue clock only to have their suspicions confirmed that indeed it was time to cut their training short. 

“Punctual as ever,” Kakashi smirked at her as he loosened his arm’s hold around her neck.

“For some it’s not a struggle at all,” she flashed him a smile as she turned around to face him.

Kakashi hummed in response. He watched as Sakura let out a little laugh as she shook her head before turning away from him once again and making her way to the edge of the mat where they’d left their shoes. By the time he reached her where she’d sat down on the floor, she was already tying the shoelaces of her left sneakers and Kakashi decided that today was the day he’d tease her for using the bunny technique even though she was twenty-two.

“Want me to teach you how to tie your shoes like a grown-up?” Kakashi asked as he sat next to her, pulling his own shoes to him and starting to put them on.

“Ah, wow.” Sakura turned her head to look at him as she stuffed her right foot on the remaining sneaker. “Thank you so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you and your wise teachings, Kakashi- _sensei_.”

Kakashi had been more than ready to tease her to hell and back, he really had, but as soon as the word ‘sensei’ left her mouth it took every ounce of self-control for him not to choke on his own saliva. Instead, he pursed his lips and looked back down at his own shoes.

“Ohh~,” Sakura said and Kakashi could _hear_ the shit-eating grin taking form in her lips. “ _That’s_ interesting.”

“Is it?” He turned his own head to face her and had to fight against a smirk of his own as he raised an eyebrow at her. With both sneakers now tied and with her legs crossed in front of her, Kakashi waited until she brought her pink bottle of water up to her lips to speak next. “Do you also wanna discuss your praise kink or would you rather leave that to another time?”

Did it bother Kakashi that Sakura didn’t choke on her water as he’d expected? A little bit, sure. But as soon as she put the bottle down and he saw that dangerous gleam reflected in her jade eyes he hadn’t seen since their reckless moment on the bench, he suddenly didn’t mind anymore.

“Someone’s been taking notes,” she noted as a smirk took shape on her lips.

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed, completely unable to look away. “Just some innocent observational research.”

“Oh, really? Looking forward to the results,” Sakura pulled herself up to her feet with her workout jacket in her hands. “Need help with those?”

Kakashi looked down at his half-dressed feet for a second before looking back up at her, who now smiled sweetly at him as her free hand rested on her hip.

“Maa, Sakura, you’re being awfully mean today. It’s your fault I’m distracted, you know?”

“Just get on with it.” She nudged his calf with her right foot as she started putting her jacket on, adorably unable to stop herself from smiling despite her obvious effort. “If I wait too much I’ll be late.”

Of course Kakashi took an obnoxious amount of time tying his shoes and gathering his stuff in his hands before standing to his feet and throwing an eye-creasing smile at Sakura. 

“Insufferable.” She pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

“I do prefer positive reinforcement rather than the negative one.”

Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle at how Sakura threw her head back and groaned just before bending down and picking all of her stuff up. His chuckle turned into an absentminded smile as she carefully tucked the shirt he’d given her into the ruined wrapping paper and balanced it all in her arms altogether with her keys, phone, and the water bottle.

“So, what else are you doing today?” he asked as they started making their way to the stairs.

“Well, breakfast with my paren… hah, _very_ convenient, Kakashi,” Sakura chuckled as he motioned for her to climb the stairs before him, to which he responded with the most innocent tilt to the head he could possibly muster.

She still went first, though, and not before throwing him a sweetly dangerous smile that was just one more nail to Kakashi’s coffin.

“And then my friends will be at the Rusty Kunai tonight to keep me company during my shift,” Sakura added as they climbed up the stairs.

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed as they reached the platform that consisted of the gym’s entrance. “You do know there’s a full day left between those two events, right?”

“I _do_ know, yes,” Sakura smiled as she turned around to look up at him.

Kakashi didn’t move his eyes away from hers as he fished the gym’s keys from his shorts’ pockets. How fucking lame was it that he actually wanted to ask if she wanted to do something with him? Of course she wouldn’t want to, if she was spending her birthday alone there was probably a reason for that, and…

“Are _you_ doing anything today?” Sakura asked, pulling Kakashi away from his internal always-unmotivating monologue.

“Uh, no,” Kakashi scratched the back of his head as he stuffed the hand with the key back in his pocket. “Not busy at all.”

“Don’t you have midterms to grade?” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him.

“As I said, not busy at all.”

The sound of Sakura’s laughter never failed to tug the corners of Kakashi’s lips upwards, and this time was no exception. His heart tugged tightly in his chest as her laughter died into a slightly shaky breath and she averted her eyes to the door that led to the street outside. He really, _really_ hoped she was about to do what he thought she was and all he could do was keep his shit together until he found out.

“Well, I think today would be a good day to take my picture with the sakura blossoms.”

It took everything in him not to immediately smile at that.

“Let me guess, there’s a photographer missing.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and even though a wave of relief washed over Kakashi at that moment, he absolutely hated the fact that his heart literally skipped a beat as her glance focused on him again.

“Hm, not really.” Sakura shook her head. “It just so happens that I’d rather try my luck with this one guy and see if he’s free.”

“Oh, really? And what did he say?”

“Well, _he_ was busy so now I’m asking you.”

Kakashi couldn’t have stopped himself from laughing even if he’d bothered to try, which of course he didn’t. 

“Ok, smart-ass, I’m in.” He shook his head at her as an incredulous smile lingered on his lips.

“Thank you,” Sakura smiled up at him as a cute as fuck faint blush lingered on her cheeks. “So, my spot is at the park… it’s pretty specific though, we can just meet at the deck on the lake and go from there.”

“Sounds good,” Kakashi once again took his keys out of his pocket and this time turned to the door to unlock it. “What time?”

“One? Is that ok? No, one-thirty.”

“Ok,” Kakashi chuckled as he stepped out of the gym and held the door open for Sakura to follow. “One thirty it is.”

.

.

.

Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she looked down at her shirt and saw that stupid turtle stamped there. That entire morning, every time she thought about how Kakashi had actually taken the time to hunt down this shirt just so he could go through with that one stupid joke he made earlier that week made her smile like a fool. It was so bad that the instant her father had left the table to pick up his phone during breakfast, her mother said Sakura looked as if she’d slept with a hanger stuffed in her mouth and proceeded to ask if any boy was responsible for it.

Which was just _terrible_. 

Sakura had spent the past week doing her very best not to think about her parents and how they would react to knowing about Kakashi. It’d been easy to not think about it for the past months when nothing had happened and the two of them didn’t know if anything _would_ , but now that they made it very clear that they wanted to give it a try… at some point her parents would have to know. And Sakura _knew_ that wouldn’t go over well.

Her eyes moved from her shirt over to the lake in front of her as she sighed, shifting her weight as she leaned against one of the deck pillars. She’d managed to dodge her mother that morning but now she just couldn’t stop thinking about it. She knew her parents would never approve of Kakashi, she knew it as much as she knew her hair was pink. It wouldn’t matter to them that they decided to wait until she graduated, they’d hear the words ‘he was my professor’ and instantly shut down.

Oh, and he was also thirty-five. The fact that the age difference between Kakashi and her parents was shorter than between Kakashi and _her_ —even if it was just a mere two years—would definitely not help in the slightest.

She loved her parents from the bottom of her heart but it had been their severe conservatism and tendency to shelter her that propelled Sakura to become independent as soon as she could. She’d learned how to become self-sufficient and it’d been about a year since she managed to save enough to officially stop depending on them for money. It hadn’t been easy—far from that, actually—and she was far from being able to claim she had enough money to live up to the standards she had always lived with as a kid, but at least she could survive on her own two feet and she was fucking _proud_ of herself for that.

Sakura knew they didn’t have any grounds to affect her life anymore but that didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified of the moment she’d have to tell them. Maybe she was overreacting, though. She was certainly overworking herself over something that wasn’t due to happen for at least two months, which should be more than enough for her to just not think about it for the time being.

As another sigh left her lips, Sakura raised her face up to soak up the early Spring sun. She loved how warmer it was getting with each passing day, and even though she still had to wear a jacket today she just didn’t mind. Soon enough she’d be wearing her dresses again and that knowledge was good enough for now.

With her eyes closed, the steady _tap-tap-tap_ of clawed paws hitting the wooden deck was enough to trigger her curiosity, and Sakura slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to face the path behind her. That was when an embarrassingly delighted mixture of a scream and a gasp left her mouth as she was greeted with Pakkun’s adorable eagerness to get to her, his ears flapping along as he ran in her direction.

“You came!” she squealed as she crouched to the floor just in time for the tiny pug to jump in her arms.

Hysterical giggles escaped her as Pakkun wiggled in her arms, trying to lick her nose, cheeks, ears, every single part of her face he could reach, and it didn’t take long for Sakura to fall flat on her ass as she tried to contain the pug.

“I have never, in seven years, seen him do that.”

The sound of Kakashi’s voice was enough for Sakura to shift her attention to him, and the sight of him walking up to them with both hands stuffed deep into his jeans’ pockets and the long sleeves of his black t-shirt pulled up to his forearms took what little of her breath Pakkun hadn’t already knocked out of her away.

“What can I say? It’s obvious he prefers me.” She grinned up at him before looking down at Pakkun again, who was now beginning to quiet down as she held him up with one forearm. His tongue lolling out of his mouth as she scratched his back was enough to make her giggle again.

“Maa, you know I can just grab him and leave, right?”

“See, Pakkun, that’s what jealousy does to a person.” She pointed one finger at Kakashi and smiled as Pakkun followed her lead and moved his eyes to his owner. “It’s really sad and pathetic.”

A few weeks before, Sakura would have spent hours trying to decipher the look Kakashi shot her just then. She’d wonder if he was pissed off, if she’d actually crossed a line at that, but somehow she could now see that glimmer in his charcoal eyes that betrayed just how amused he truly was at the situation and she couldn’t help but smile at that realisation.

It really did feel _so_ good to be getting better at reading Kakashi.

“Ok, Pakkun, let’s indulge your old man a little bit before we have fun in the park,” she whispered not-so-subtly in the pug’s ear, and the snort that escaped Kakashi proved he’d indeed heard her just fine.

Sakura couldn’t shake the smile off her face as she stood up with Pakkun still safely tucked in her arms. She raised him ever so slightly so she’d be able to plant a tiny peck on the top of his little head and couldn’t help but blush after seeing Kakashi’s reaction to that. She knew she should have been getting used to seeing his smiles, his _real_ ones, but she just couldn’t handle that adorable dimple that formed on the corner of his lips every time he let out one of those.

“Shirt’s looking cool.”

Sakura smirked as she took the few steps still separating them as her right hand scratched behind Pakkun’s ear.

“Oh, yeah,” Sakura smirked as she reached him, now having to lean her head back to look up at him. “Just you wait for _your_ birthday.”

“Hm, it’s a shame you don’t know when that is.”

“Who says I don’t?”

The smirk on Sakura’s lips spread as Kakashi narrowed his eyes down at her.

“You don’t.”

“Who knew a Virgo could have so little regard for time management.”

“Ah, _Genma_.”

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer resignation in Kakashi’s voice. 

“He might have written his number on the same note he wrote yours.” Sakura grinned up at him. “To ‘make sure he stays informed’, according to him.”

“Sneaky fucker,” Kakashi mumbled under his breath, stealing a giggle from Sakura.

“Don’t you like your birthdays?” Sakura asked as she started leading the way out of the deck, now unsure if she could have joked about it.

“Just don’t see the point of celebrating them.” Kakashi shrugged as he fell into step next to her.

“Ah,” Sakura tried to be satisfied with that answer, well aware there must be more to it than he was letting on. “Well, if you think I’m not gonna go all out for you after what you’ve done for me today you’re very mistaken.”

Sakura’s statement was answered with a blank stare from Kakashi. She could see there was something going on inside his head that she couldn’t quite figure out but she was just as sure he wouldn’t say it even if she asked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked instead.

“I forgot, actually,” Sakura answered, focusing her eyes on the trail in front of them as she started leading them to her spot. “I love my birthday but this year I actually forgot it was even coming up. Guess I’ve been way too busy, I don’t know. I just remembered last week at Genma’s thing... and then I got very distracted, as you may recall.”

The hum Kakashi let out right then did more than enough to remind Sakura of that one moment she’d been lucky enough to hear that sound made right against her ear, and she could feel the heat of the blood rushing up to her face at the week-long memory.

“And the tease turns on the teaser,” Kakashi noted as he glanced down at her, an amused smirk taking shape on his lips as he saw her red face.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Sakura rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t think I forgot the sensei thing.”

“I’d be disappointed if you had.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile faintly as they started following the path completely surrounded by the sakura trees. She loved that more secluded part of the park all year round, but the magic of Spring just added something extra to the experience of walking through the tunnel of trees.

“I’ve actually never been here,” Kakashi noted as they were swallowed by the trees.

“Really?” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean, yeah, not many people know about this spot but I’d always taken you as the explorer kind.”

“I prefer the forest. Less people, more trees, quieter.”

Sakura snorted.

“More dangerous, more wild animals, more possibilities of being murdered,” she shot back.

“Maa, _that_ I didn’t expect.”

“And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Not even Pakkun is scared of the forest, and he’s a lot tinier than you. Not by much, sure, but still.”

This earned Kakashi a nudge from Sakura’s elbow and it infuriated her a little bit that all she’d earned from him in return was a snort.

“I’m not _scared_ ,” she huffed. “I’m smart, it’s different.”

Kakashi hummed again, which Sakura positively ignored as she stepped into her little spot on the far end of the park. This one section of the park was pretty much always ignored by visitors, maybe because everyone preferred to hang out by the lake or because the close access to the forest made people wary, but Sakura had claimed this one place as her own since she’d been first brought there by her parents. Did it have anything to do with the fact that most sakura trees in Konoha Park were concentrated on that one spot? Maybe.

Regardless, it was still gorgeous, secluded, and Sakura absolutely adored it.

“You hang out pretty close to the forest for someone who’s scared of it,” Kakashi noted as his eyes gazed at the forest tree line a few meters away from them.

“Say I’m scared _one_ more time.” Sakura kept on the fiercest look she had in stock as Kakashi turned his gaze to study her with an arched silver eyebrow.

“You do realise that’s more intriguing than anything else, don’t you? Also, I’d tell you to lose the pug if you’re aiming for intimidation here.”

“You know, Hatake, I wouldn’t piss me off before telling me my grade if I were you.” Sakura tightened her hold on Pakkun protectively as she huffed at his owner.

“Hatake,” Kakashi repeated with a delicious smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “That’s new.”

“Hm,” Sakura hummed as she fought against the smile that threatened to pull the corners of her lips. 

For fuck’s sake, why couldn’t she at least _pretend_ to be mad at him?

“All jokes aside, it’s really nice here,” he said as he looked around them as they walked.

“It is, isn’t it?” Sakura lost the battle and smiled up at him, the sight of the sakura blossoms and the cloudless blue sky above them as they walked making her chest warm up. 

She hadn’t given a single thought as to what it would actually be like to bring Kakashi over to her spot, but now that he was there he just _fit_. Sakura averted her eyes after being caught staring by Kakashi a few seconds later, unable to get rid of the smile on her lips. It was only when they were within a few meters of the tree she’d always taken her pictures in front of that she realised Kakashi was walking straight to it, regardless of the fact that there were several others around them.

“Holy shit, did you really recognise it from the pictures?” Sakura asked as she slowed down her pace.

“Photographic memory.” He turned his head to stare down at her, a cocky grin then tugging at the corners of his lips as he saw the amazement in her face.

“Show-off,” she teased as she stopped walking, Kakashi quickly following her lead.

“Hm, yes, my biggest trait.” He nodded gravely. 

The warmth present in his charcoal eyes as he looked down at her was ridiculously enough to make Sakura blush. Trying to escape that, she looked over to her tree. The soft pink petals the same shade as her hair greeted her just like they did every year, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile at it.

“I’m gonna put you down, ok buddy?” she told Pakkun before bending down and lightly lowering the pug from her arms.

With one affectionate boop of his cold nose to her shin, Pakkun settled on the space left between Sakura and Kakashi’s feet and lied down with his tiny head resting between his paws. Sakura could still feel the weight of Kakashi’s stare on her, which at the moment just seemed a bit too overwhelming for her to handle. Instead of facing him, Sakura busied herself with taking her tiny backpack off her shoulders so she could grab her camera.

“An Olympus OM-2, nice,” Kakashi commented as soon as she pulled it out of her backpack.

Any embarrassment she’d been feeling two seconds before simply vanished into thin air as she turned her head to stare incredulously up at him. Not even _she_ knew the model of the camera. 

“Ok, _what_?”

“What?” Kakashi tilted his head to the side as he flashed an eye-creasing smile at her.

“You’re into _photography_? How did I not know that?”

“Never came up, did it?”

Sakura slowly shook her head at him as an incredulous smile took form on her face.

“No, I guess it didn’t.” She let out a tiny, still disbelieving laugh as she deposited her backpack on the floor. “It’s one surprise after another with you, isn’t it?”

Kakashi seemed to slightly lose his footing at that, and Sakura chuckled at how he looked up at the tree in front of them instead of facing her. Sakura still had a smile on her face as she looked down at the camera held in her hands and turned it on.

Sakura had gotten it at her fifteenth birthday but had never actually used it herself. Her parents had been the ones taking the pictures for her when she was younger, and since her 15th one she just dragged her friends there so she could coerce Sai into using the camera for her. It just sounded so complicated when her phone had a perfectly good camera which was much easier to use that she saved the camera for that one yearly event just for the tradition of it. It just wouldn’t feel right to take that picture with a cellphone and Sakura respected that.

“Ok, there you go.” She handed it to him before shrugging off her denim jacket and dropping it on top of her backpack.

“He’s gonna lie on it,” Kakashi warned her without even glancing in either her or the jacket’s direction, his eyes set on the camera as he focused it on the tree and started working on the focus—at least that’s what Sakura thought he was doing. Before she could even say anything in response to Kakashi’s warning, Pakkun climbed on top of her backpack and curled himself on her jacket. The sight was absurdly adorable and Sakura couldn’t help but let out a very embarrassing “aww” at it, which stole a snort from Kakashi.

Ignoring him, Sakura turned around and walked over to where she always stood for her pictures. She looked up at the tree for a few seconds, mentally greeting it and thanking it for another Spring, and a soft _click_ coming from behind her told her Kakashi had taken a picture.

“Did you just take a picture of my ass?” She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.

“I guess you’ll only know when you develop it.”

Unable to stop herself from laughing, Sakura turned around on her spot and faced Kakashi. He was smiling softly at her with the camera in his hands, a silver eyebrow slightly raised in a silent question.

“How does my hair look?” Sakura asked as she brushed a hand through her hair before pushing it off her shoulder, styling it so that it would fall down her back and not hide the turtle on the t-shirt.

“Uh, great,” Kakashi said as his eyebrows creased a little bit as he tried to find better words.

“Very articulate.” Sakura raised an amused eyebrow at him.

“Eh, I tried.”

“Uhum, yeah. Ok, I’m ready.”

Kakashi raised the camera up to his face at the cue and Sakura’s heart started racing at the sight. There was just something about the way his fingers delicately but expertly handled the lenses and the fact that he was focusing on _her_ behind the camera that just fucked with her right then. She couldn’t have fought against the blush that furiously climbed up her cheek even if she’d really tried.

 _Click_.

“Kakashi!” Sakura’s eyes widened as she raised a hand to block her face from the camera. “I wasn’t even smiling!”

All he did in return was hum at her which also didn’t help the blushing situation, and the smile tugging at the corners of his lips betrayed how amused he was by the entire situation. Pakkun had raised his head at the sudden intensity in Sakura’s voice but soon enough went back to resting it on top of his left paw.

“Just give me a second,” Sakura said as she looked down at her feet, taking a few deep breaths and willing her body to keep it together just for _one_ fucking second.

Soon enough she felt her face’s temperature going back to normal and she smiled in pride at herself, raising her head again to stare at Kakashi.

 _Click_.

“ _Kakashi_!”

“What?” he asked through his poorly contained grin. “You were smiling now.”

“Yeah but it wasn’t a picture smile!”

“Maa, that’s just too complicated.”

Sakura huffed at him and brushed a hand through her hair again, getting ready to smile properly now.

“Besides, your genuine smiles are beautiful.”

All of the heat Sakura had just successfully subsided came back ten times worse at that, and the chuckle that came from behind the camera made it very, _very_ clear how much Kakashi was loving it all.

 _Click_.

“Can you _stop_ that?” Sakura groaned as she dropped her face in her hands. “At this pace it’ll take us the entire afternoon to get this done.”

“Good thing neither of us have anywhere else to be.”

.

.

.

It didn’t take them the entire afternoon to get the picture taken. In fact, it was only after two more tries—and two more pictures Kakashi took after successfully coercing outrageous reactions from her—that they were done and Sakura was happy enough with how she would probably look on her picture. 

“When are you developing them?” Kakashi asked, his eyes stuck on Sakura’s fingers as she pet Pakkun while he dozen off in her lap.

“This week.” She turned her head to the side to look at him before looking back down at the sleeping pug. “I’m way too curious to wait too long.”

“Then why don’t you buy a camera that’ll let you see the picture after you take it?”

“It’s gonna sound stupid but I guess it’s just more special if I don’t get to see it at the time. I don’t know.”

“Doesn’t sound stupid.”

Sakura looked at Kakashi again only to find him looking back at her. They’d been sitting with their backs to the trunk of Sakura’s tree for almost an hour now, their thighs only barely not touching, and Sakura still found herself reeling at how fucking close his face was to hers every time they happened to look at each other at the same time. They had never sat this close together, not even that night at the bench, and it was only when the thought popped up in her head that Sakura realised it was not a great memory to bring back at that particular moment.

“He looks pretty comfortable,” Kakashi noted as he averted his eyes to Pakkun once again.

“You can take his place after he wakes up if you want.”

“Hm, only after he wakes up?” 

“Look at how peaceful he looks, it’d be too cruel to bother him.”

Kakashi chuckled at that and turned his head so he’d stare at the trees in front of them. 

“Tell me something else I don’t know about you.” The words were out of Sakura’s mouth before she could even process them but she didn’t regret them in the slightest.

“Hm,” he hummed as he apparently thought over in his head, his charcoal eyes still facing straight ahead. “What do you think my major was?”

“I mean, obviously something Sciences related,” Sakura answered. “Bio… something?”

“Nope. Literature.”

“ _What_?” Sakura’s eyes widened as she looked at him.

Kakashi turned his head to her again, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Mhmm.” He nodded. “And a Masters in Romance in Modern Literature.”

“Holy shit.” Sakura shook her head. “What the _fuck_ are you doing in the Sciences department?”

“They didn’t have any vacancies on the Lit one when I applied for a teaching job. I was ready to just find something else but then Tsunade heard I was applying and she said I could work under her department, so I just learned the subject before teaching it.”

Sakura turned her head to stare at Kakashi, her mind trying to wrap around what he’d just said. 

“Tsunade? As in _Senju_ _Tsunade_ , most renowned doctor in Konoha and head of Konoha General Hospital?”

“And Head of the Sciences Department at KU, yeah.”

Sakura waited three whole beats for Kakashi to do some explaining, but after she was greeted only by silence she had to swallow down a frustrated groan.

“Kakashi! How the fuck do you _know_ her?”

“Maa, how impatient,” Kakashi smirked at her. “It was back at the army. After the first few months of general training when you join they send you around for a few months to work at different sectors temporarily to see how you do, if there are any hidden talents, you know?” He turned his head again so he was staring straight ahead again. “The Research sector was the second one I was stationed at, and Tsunade was in charge of it at the time. Sciences has never been my area but I’m a quick learner, as you know, and she ended up asking me to stay for four months. My probatory period ended then and I formally requested to be moved to the combat division, which was where I really wanted to be.”

“Holy fucking shit,” Sakura let out an incredulous laugh. “Unbelievable. You _really_ are a genius, aren’t you?”

“Debatable. We’ve had this conversation before.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and moved them back down to stare at the dozing pug. She had spent the past fours years trying to figure out a way to earn Senju Tsunade’s attention before getting into med school. From the research Sakura’d made she knew the woman had taken an apprentice before—although she’d never managed to find any information on who the person was—and Sakura _knew_ she had what it took to be given the same honour.

And Kakashi just casually knew her.

Sakura saw the opportunity right there, she really did, and she was pretty sure he’d help her if she asked, even if it was as simple as introducing them. Still, she made the split decision right there that that’s not how she wanted that to go. She’d busted her ass for the past four years to get stellar grades and make that woman notice her for her own merit, and she wouldn’t take the easy route now just because it presented itself. 

“Your turn.”

Sakura turned her head to stare at him only to once again find him already staring at her. She couldn’t help but let her eyes fall so she was staring at his lips, it was simply inevitable when he was right _there_ , and she had to actively force herself to look away to the trees ahead of them after a few seconds of thick, tense silence.

“My first kiss was with a girl,” she said at last. “And the second too.”

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed, his eyes now drifting down to her lips. “Any reason your mind jumped straight to kissing right now? That piece of information can’t be the only thing I don’t know about you.”

“Are you _really_ gonna do this right now?” 

“Do what, Sakura?” He raised his eyes up to meet hers again as he smirked. 

Right then Sakura really, _really_ did consider it. It was just really hard to stop herself with his face so fucking close and their thighs _finally_ touching—and producing a _ridiculous_ amount of heat even though there were two layers of clothing separating them. There was literally no one there and the odds of anyone showing up were minimal considering she’d been to that place about a billion times before and had rarely run into others there. 

Besides, it was her _birthday_ and if there was any day in the year that it was justifiable to say screw it to the rules, it was on someone’s birthday.

It was really, _really_ tempting.

“It’s been less than a week since we set the terms, we can’t be _that_ weak, can we?” she asked as her eyes once again found their way to stare at his lips.

“Hm, I blame it on your teasing.”

“ _My_ teasing?” Sakura smiled, using her free hand to poke his bicep. “It takes two to play, ok?”

“Absolutely not.” Kakashi shook his head, not even trying to move his eyes up to her eyes. She knew his face was a lot closer to hers now than it’d been a few seconds ago—and it’d been _really_ fucking close to begin with—but she had no idea who’d actually done the moving. “You’re clearly taking advantage of my innocence.”

“Ha!” Sakura snorted, earning a genuine smile from Kakashi in return that made her heart tug tightly in her chest. “You, sir, are delusional.”

“Hm, yes, I like the sound of that. ‘Sir’. Say it again.”

Sakura burst in laughter, throwing her head back and pushing Kakashi away with her free hand. The sound of Kakashi’s quieter laughter was enough to make sure Sakura was unable to get her shit together anytime soon. Unfortunately for Pakkun, though, there was no way he could possibly sleep through that. The pug looked up at the two of them from his spot on Sakura’s lap, his eyebrows slightly creased in slight irritation at being so rudely woken up, and both her and Kakashi’s laughter died down into smiles.

“Sorry, Pakkun,” Sakura cooed as she scratched the spot behind his ear she knew he liked. Indeed, it didn’t take long for the pug to close his eyes in absolute bliss as he accepted her adoration.

“Maa, you’re spoiling him too much.”

“As if _you_ don’t,” Sakura shot back, turning her head to look back at Kakashi who only shook his head at her in return. “Also, he’s awake now.”

“Hm, yeah, I can see that.” One silver eyebrow rose in his forehead at the words.

“Wanna take his place? It’s safer than the alternative.”

Her proposition was met with a very carefully blank stare coming from him. Sure, she wasn’t a pro at reading Kakashi off yet but she _knew_ he’d just put extra effort into hiding whatever it was that was going on inside his head right at that moment from her. Sakura watched as he held some sort of inner monologue with himself as he moved his eyes to stare down at the pug resting on her lap. She didn’t know what could possibly be taking so long to decide whether he wanted to lie his head on her lap or not, but apparently this was a bigger deal to Kakashi than she’d previously thought.

Just when she made up the decision to just change the subject as if nothing had happened, Kakashi nodded and met her eyes with his charcoal ones again.

“Ok, nice,” Sakura said as a genuinely happy smile took form on her lips.

Sakura gently nudged Pakkun for him to stand up, which he did without any protest. Maybe the pug knew his owner was about to receive the same treatment he’d been privy to for the past hour and he was just that cool of a dog, or maybe he just didn’t mind leaving Sakura’s lap. From what she knew of how Pakkun felt when it came to her, she knew it wasn’t the latter. 

Also, it was just more fun to imagine the pug was a lot more aware of the situation going on between the two humans surrounding him than he most likely was.

She watched as Kakashi stared at her lap for a few seconds as if it was a puzzle he was trying to figure out, which she did her best not to smile at. It was obvious he was struggling with how to position himself and Sakura couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible he’d never laid in anyone’s lap before.

Before she could say anything, though, he lowered himself and slid his body so that he was now lying perpendicular to her with his legs sprawled as a four. She could feel the tension on Kakashi’s shoulders as he lowered his head to her lap and she couldn’t help but smile softly at the tiny crease between his eyebrows as he looked over at Pakkun, who’d sat down right next to his shoulders and was looking down at his owner's face.

“You ok?” she asked as she softly brushed her thumb over the crease in Kakashi’s face an attempt to soothe him.

It worked, apparently. His charcoal eyes moved over until he met hers and she immediately felt most part of the tension slip away from his shoulder as he nodded up at her.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Can I play with your hair?”

“You’ve planned this all along, haven’t you?”

Sakura chuckled at that.

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“And _that_ wasn’t an answer,” Kakashi smirked at her. “But yeah. Sure.”

Sakura’s smile widened as she threaded one hand through Kakashi’s silver strands. She immediately started massaging his skull with the tip of her fingers, earning a sigh from Kakashi in return which she swore she would never forget. After a few seconds she felt bold enough to rest her left hand on Kakashi’s chest. It was when he covered her hand with his right one and their fingers automatically interlaced together as if they’d actually held hands before that Sakura forgot how to breathe.

Sakura was blushing _so_ bad she feared she might just combust, and when her eyes caught track of the red on the tip of Kakashi’s ears she couldn’t help but smile. She’d never seen him blush before. 

Even though she kept her eyes fixed on his hair, Sakura knew Kakashi watched her for the first few minutes as she carried on with what she was doing. Sometime after Pakkun climbed him and curled himself on top of Kakashi’s stomach, though, he ended up closing his eyes. It was only after the grip he had on her hand slackened a little bit that she realised he’d fallen asleep.

She didn’t stop. She had no idea for how long she sat there, massaging Kakashi’s skull and playing with his hair, but even though both he and Pakkun were deeply asleep for the entire time she didn’t feel even slightly alone or bored. In fact, it’d been so long since Sakura felt that peaceful she couldn’t have shaken the faint smile that graced her lips even if she’d tried to. 

No doubt, this was pretty much the best birthday she’d ever had. And as soon as Sakura realised Kakashi still hadn’t told her what grade she’d gotten on her midterm, she couldn’t help but huff out a laughter as she endearingly shook her head at his sleeping face.

She’d just find out later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo!
> 
> is anyone freaking out as much as I am??? just checking in because this chapter killed me AHAHAHa
> 
> before I dive into that, there's a few things I wanna say! first of all, thanks everyone who gave their insight on the warnings! I decided to say in the beginning that they're available on the end A/N if anyone wants to check it out since I see it as the fairest option. with that, people who don't want spoilers can not check them, while people who would like to check the warnings will be fairly warned and given the freedom to check it.
> 
> ok! now, the chapter ihiihihihi oh god I can't WAIT to see your reactions!!!!!!!!
> 
> please leave me a review, guys! there's been a significant drop in the number of reviews I get and I don't know why :( anyhow, I really appreciate all of you guys and I really hope you're enjoying this <3
> 
> hope you're all doing well and please take care!
> 
> -A


	23. silver

It’d been a while since Sakura had last been to the Uzumaki household. Three years and seven months, to be exact, since Naruto’s nineteenth birthday had ended up in one of the worst fights she and Sasuke had ever had. Still, it didn’t seem like that much time had passed as she walked up to the front door and pressed a finger to the doorbell with her free hand. The house just looked the same as it’d always had.

“I really wish you hadn’t brought a present,” Shikamaru said as he side-eyed the gift Sakura held in her hands.

“I did warn you about it, don’t pretend otherwise.”

“And I told you not to do it because I’d look bad, but here we are.”

Sakura gave him an unimpressed stare that said more than words ever could and turned to face the door again. She could hear the music coming from the backyard where she knew the party was happening and couldn’t help but wonder if Minato and Kushina would be serving the same delicious food they served five years before at the last big party they hosted as a couple.

Checking one last time if the work she’d done wrapping the silver picture frame meant to be the gift for Minato and Kushina’s 25th anniversary was good enough, she only had time to rearrange the thin strap of her dress as it slid down her shoulder before the door was flung open.

“ _Ah_ , Sakura-chan!” Kushina beamed as she first took in the pink-haired girl standing on her doorstep and immediately pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s so good to see you, you know, sweetheart!” She smiled again as she pulled away from the hug and looked over at Shikamaru. “And Shika-ku… you’re _tall_. When did _that_ happen?”

“Uh…”

“It’s been too long, Kushina-obasan,” Sakura smiled, saving Shika from the embarrassment. “And congratulations! Where’s Minato-ojisan?”

“Somewhere in the backyard.” Kushina waved a hand dismissively as her eyes zeroed in on the package in Sakura’s hands. “Sakura-chaaan, you didn’t have to! I told Naruto to tell you guys no gifts were necessary!”

“He did tell us,” Sakura smiled as she handed her the present. “I couldn’t come empty-handed, though. It’s something very simple and budget-friendly, I hope you don’t mind.”

Kushina pulled Sakura into another hug and thanked the pink-haired woman profusely as she accepted the package. Shikamaru sent Sakura the most unimpressed glare he had in store as soon as Naruto's mom moved her eyes away from them so she could look down at the package in her hand.

“Come on in, you guys, come on.” The red-haired woman stepped to the side so they could walk into the house. “We’re all in the backyard.”

Sakura accepted Kushina’s invitation and stepped inside with Shikamaru right behind her. As Naruto’s mom closed the door behind them, Sakura couldn’t help but look around the living room the foyer led to. That house had been such a huge part of her teenage years, Sakura just couldn’t believe it’d been almost four years since she’d last set her feet there. So many memories had been made in that house, such as when she used to play ninja in the backyard with Naruto and Sasuke back when they were thirteen or when the entire gang spent an insane number of hours sprawled in that living room studying for the university-enrolling exams when they were older. 

She guessed it really wasn’t too far-fetched to say she kinda grew up there.

“Just something really quick before we go outside.” Kushina circled them so she now had her back to the backyard and lowered her voice even though there was no one else around. “Naruto won’t tell me anything so I need to ask you, you know? Is there something going on between him and Hinata-chan?”

“I’m gonna have a smoke,” Shikamaru immediately announced as inconspicuously as possible and didn’t even hesitate before turning around and leaving through the front door again.

Sakura turned her head to stare at Kushina, pink eyebrows rising in her forehead as her mind frantically tried to think of a way out of the situation at the same time that she tried not to run after Shikamaru and tell him to go fuck himself for leaving her behind to handle this alone.

“Ah…” Sakura said. “I don’t… know.”

“Eh, you’re an even worse liar than Naruto, you know?” Kushina cackled. “Ok, I’ll take that as a yes. Thanks, Sakura-chan!”

Panicking just a little bit, Sakura went as far as opening her mouth to protest when Kushina cut her to the chase.

“What about _you_ , though, honey? Not back with that boy, are you?”

“Uh, no, no, definitely not,” Sakura said, still not even slightly comfortable with the conversation now that the focus was shifted on her. “Nope.”

“Ok, that’s good.” Kushina nodded approvingly. “No one else, though? Not even…?” She looked pointedly over at the door Shikamaru had disappeared through.

Sakura frowned as she stared at Kushina for two beats until it hit her.

“What, _Shika_? No, _no_ , we’re friends, Kushina-obasan.”

“Eh,” Kushina waved a hand dismissively. “He’s gotten so _handsome_ , though, Sakura-chan! Unless you’re seeing anyone else I see no reason to not jump him.”

“Oh my god,” Sakura let out, probably more horrified than she should have let Kushina see.

“Ahh, I _swear_ I can hear Minato’s voice telling me to mind my own business,” Kushina cackled and rolled her eyes, smiling nonetheless. “Now, come on, Sakura-chan. There’s a full buffet and an open bar waiting for you outside and you’re not allowed to leave until you’ve taken full advantage of them.”

Still slightly horrified, Sakura followed Kushina through the house until they left through the glass doors that led to the garden. The Uzumaki’s backyard looked absolutely gorgeous fully decorated with silver strings of lights on that first day of May, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she was immediately bombarded with the amazing memories she had there. Her eyes landed straight on Naruto as he sat by the pool with Kurama curled up next to him, the huge and honestly terrifying orange dog being loyal as always to her owner. Hinata was sitting by Naruto’s other side, her legs politely folded to the side as her lilac dress covered her thighs, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile at them.

“Honestly, they’re not even _trying_ to hide it, are they?” Kushina asked as she gently tugged Sakura’s arm with her forearm. “I like Hinata-chan, really, and so does Minato. Can you tell Naruto that? Maybe he’ll get the balls to tell us about her if he knows we approve.”

“Ah…” Sakura looked over at the pair of them again. “I don’t officially know anything either, Kushina-obasan.”

“Ugh!” Kushina let out a pained groan. “I’m gonna lose my mind, I swear. I just hope Naruto isn’t being a dumbass.”

Unable to stop herself from giggling, Sakura was caught off guard when an arm wrapped around Kushina’s waist.

“Long time no see, Sakura-chan.”

Turning her eyes to stare at Naruto’s dad, Sakura was once again taken completely by surprise by how much he resembled his son. It’d always been like that, of course, but now that Naruto was also a grown-up it was even somewhat off-putting. Sakura remembered the first time she started noticing the spot-on resemblance between them, in one afternoon when she was around eleven and she’d taken a good look at the pictures displayed on top of the fireplace in their living room and gotten particularly mesmerised with their wedding one. 

Her memory was a bit fuzzy after eleven years but maybe if the frame was still on the same spot she could find it again and check how much twenty-one year old Minato resembled the Naruto she knew today.

“Indeed, Minato-ojisan,” Sakura smiled at him. “Congratulations to you both on twenty-five years of marriage, may there be many more.”

“Ahh, you’re so _cute_!” Kushina said at the same time that Minato politely thanked her with a kind smile on his face.

“She brought us a present, can you believe it?” Kushina raised the wrapped present in her hands so her husband could see.

“Oh, you didn’t have to, Sakura-chan,” Minato frowned a little bit regardless of the smile he had on his face. “We really appreciate it, though.”

“Ah, it was nothing!” Sakura tilted her head to the side as she smiled at Naruto’s parents. “It was the least I could do.”

When the doorbell rang again, Minato excused himself to go greet whoever it was that’d arrived. Kushina gushed over Sakura for a few moments telling her stuff such as how she was welcome to serve herself at the buffet whenever she wanted—or the open bar, for that matter—and that she was free to ask the photographer for pictures if she wanted any.

Soon enough Sakura found herself alone, and only then did Shikamaru make his way out of the house to step onto the backyard. Sakura shot him another unimpressed look as he walked in her direction with both hands stuffed into his trousers’ pockets.

“That was _low_ ,” she said as soon as he stopped next to her.

“Smoking’s an addiction, Sakura, I can’t control it.”

“Save it.” Sakura rolled her eyes at him. “Just for your _knowledge_ , she asked if we’re fucking.”

“ _What_?” Shikamaru asked, looking so horrified she even felt a little bit offended. “Where did _that_ come from?”

“You would’ve known if you hadn’t left me behind, asshat,” Sakura punched his shoulder with just a little bit more force than necessary.

Shikamaru mumbled something that sounded a lot like “ _troublesome_ ” in return but before she could say anything else, Naruto’s yell reached their ears. “Yo! You guys!”

Both Sakura and Shikamaru made their way to where Naruto and Hinata were sitting on the concrete floor. There was a band propped up on a stage in the back of the backyard, and even though Sakura didn’t recognise any of the songs they played since she’d arrived she was still moving her head along to the rhythm of the music as she walked.

“Have you guys forgotten chairs exist?” she teased her friends as soon as they reached the not-so-discreet couple.

“Ne, Sakura-chan, you say it like sitting on the floor is illegal or something.” Naruto smiled up at her, using one hand to block the late morning sunshine from his blue eyes.

Sakura couldn’t stop herself from smiling at him, but before she could say anything else two hands reached around her face from behind and covered her eyes.

“Really, Pig?” Sakura asked as a smile took over the exposed bottom half of her face. “Do you really think I might not know it’s you?”

“It’s about the _surprise_ , Forehead, not the guessing,” Ino said as she pulled her hands away and stepped to Sakura’s right side, flicking her on the forehead once before smiling at their friends. “Looking hot, you guys.”

“Hmpf,” Shikamaru grunted as he fished his phone from his trousers’ pocket.

“Love the curls, Ino-chan,” Hinata said from her spot on the floor. “Was it that hair curler you bought?”

Naruto and Shikamaru quickly lost interest in the conversation as it moved forward from there and made zero efforts trying to hide it. The girls didn’t give a shit, though, and it didn’t take long for Hinata to stand up from her spot on the floor so she could get closer to Ino and Sakura.

Soon enough all of them were there. So far Sakura’s favourite moments of the event had been when she got herself the delicious fried shrimp they were serving and Kushina’s poorly repressed scowl when Sasuke arrived—and Kurama’s, for that matter, since even though the dog hated everyone that wasn’t Naruto and Kushina, he hated Sasuke with special fervour. 

There was still something Sakura was looking forward to, though, and she couldn’t help but ridiculously look at the glass door that led to the house every single time she heard the doorbell ringing.

Of _course_ he was late.

Checking her watch, Sakura could only suppress a smile as she realised over an hour had passed since the time they were all told to arrive at the anniversary. 

By the time Sakura was two glasses of white wine in and Sai had already managed to talk to and embarrass at least three of Minato’s colleagues from the army, a low cough coming from Shikamaru turned her attention to him. It was only when Shika discreetly glanced at the door that she realised what he was trying to tell her.

And indeed, as soon as Sakura’s eyes followed his gaze, they landed on the one person she’d already been ridiculously missing even though it’d been less than a day since they’d last seen each other. Kakashi was standing by the glass doors that led to the inside of the house, being gushed over by Kushina in a way that made Sakura smile.

As happy as she was to see him, though, he could have at least _warned_ her he’d be wearing that ridiculously hot black blazer to avoid any embarrassment on her part, but okay.

It’s not like she warned him about her dress either.

She watched as Kakashi stood on his spot after Kushina walked away, looking around the backyard clearly trying to locate someone. Sakura knew exactly who he was looking for and it was so hard to stop herself from smiling at that little crease of concentration between his eyebrows as he tried to locate _her_. As soon as he did, Sakura shook her head minutely at him while a tiny smirk played on her lips, and the sight of the grin that took over Kakashi’s in response sent a rush of warmth through her entire body.

It was how his eyes slowly took their time taking in her body from head to toe right after that made her blush, though. She knew Kakashi loved it when she wore dresses, and she would’ve been lying if she said she wasn’t having fun seeing his reactions every time he saw her in one he hadn’t seen before. The one she was wearing today was one she’d been looking forward to for _weeks_ now, though. 

That spaghetti-strapped, knee-length silver silk dress was undoubtedly one of Sakura’s most flattering dresses. She was well aware it hugged her curves in all the right places and, looking at Kakashi from the other side of the backyard, she was pleased to see he clearly noticed and appreciated that fact as well.

Forcing herself to look away, Sakura took another sip of her wine. If that sip had been slightly larger than the ones she usually took it was because she desperately needed it.

With only five weeks left until graduation, things were getting _tense_ between her and Kakashi. It’d been little over a month since they’d settled on waiting for Sakura to have a diploma in her hands before they followed through with whatever it was that was happening between them, and the closer they got to that date the harder it was to keep their hands off each other.

She could admit this was mainly her fault, though. Even though she was well aware Kakashi was suffering as much as she was, the man’s self-control was simply _insane_. Sakura had gotten absolute proof of that fact a few weeks before when they’d covered mounting attacks in their training and Sakura had nearly lost her fucking mind with how absurdly turned on she got. She would’ve done it right there in the middle of the gym if he’d let her, but yet Kakashi somehow kept his head on straight even though it was _very_ clear how much he’d wanted it as well. 

Frustrating. _Very_ frustrating.

Needless to say, they steered clear of that one specific training since then.

“Why is Sakura red?” Sai asked, forcing Sakura to focus her attention back on her group. To find all of them staring straight at her in return was just too fucking inconvenient, and didn’t help at all with bringing the heat off her face.

“It’s the wine,” she said, raising her glass a little bit just for show.

“No it _isn’t_ ,” Ino stepped in, her blue eyes squinted as she studied Sakura’s face intensely. “You’re blushing. Why are you blushing, Forehead?”

“I’m not _blushing_.” Sakura rolled her eyes as she sipped from her wine. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

She was well aware the only reason they’d given up on the subject after that was that they really didn’t expect Sakura to be blushing over any of the older army officials spread around the Uzumaki’s backyard. She made the mistake of making eye contact with Sasuke, though, and the coldness she saw reflected in his onyx eyes was almost enough to make her blood freeze in her veins.

It also didn’t help that she caught Sasuke staring at Kakashi multiple times in the minutes that followed. His eyes just never left the silver-haired man as several military officials greeted him, and Sakura had no idea if he only recognised Kakashi from the Winter festival when he’d caught her speaking to him at the beverages’ line or if he now remembered this man as his late cousin’s friend from the army.

Neither option was good.

A few minutes later, just when Sakura managed to keep her cool even though she was consistently looking for Kakashi on her peripheral vision, Shikamaru silently fished her phone from his trousers’ pocket and handed it to her without interrupting Tenten’s monologue on the research she was conducting for her thesis.

Did Sakura take advantage of Shikamaru’s pockets so she wouldn’t need to carry a purse to social events? Yeah, every single time.

Sakura mouthed him a thank you as she took her phone from his hand and looked down at the locked screen only to find an unread message there.

Kakashi: That one’s a ten

An involuntary smile immediately broke through her face, forcing her to close her eyes and purse her lips in an attempt to make it stop. It took everything in her not to raise her head and search for Kakashi right then but she successfully kept her eyes down on the phone in her hands as she typed in her password to unlock it. Her fingers worked quickly as she typed in a response.

_I could say the same… a heads up would’ve been nice yk_

_A heads up for what?_

_That damned blazer, Kakashi, what else?_

It was so fucking hard to not look at Kakashi when she could only imagine the delicious smirk he had playing on his lips as he read her message.

_Duly noted_

Sakura immediately smiled at his response but quickly did her best to keep herself together as she locked her phone and handed it back to Shikamaru. As she turned her eyes to focus on Tenten once again it was impossible for her to miss Sasuke’s scowl as he looked down at the ground, his jaw set so tight it twitched. 

Suddenly needing to get out of there if only for a few minutes, Sakura downed the rest of her wine and handed the empty glass to a waiter that was passing by with an empty tray.

“I’m gonna pee,” she told Shika lowly, not wanting to interrupt her friend.

After Shika grunted his response, Sakura turned around and made her way to the guest toilets by the pool. She immediately noticed they were occupied and leaned her back against the nearby wall as she settled to wait. Not even a minute went by before Kushina approached her with a glass of red wine in her hand.

“Sakura-chan! Go ahead and use the bathroom inside, honey.” She pointed a thumb at the closed glass door that led inside the house.

“Are you sure, Kushina-obasan?” Sakura asked. “The party’s outside…”

“Yeah, but you’re family, you know? Go, go ahead.”

Kushina had walked away to talk to someone else before Sakura could even say anything in return. Not refusing the offer, though, Sakura walked over to the house and slid the glass door open so she could step inside the living room and closed it right back behind her. She made a beeline for the lavatory on the ground level of the house and took refuge there for a few minutes.

After washing her hands and checking her reflection to make sure her dress wasn’t stuck on her underwear, Sakura left again and paced around the Uzumaki household. She didn’t want to go back outside yet, not when she would clearly have to deal with Sasuke’s brooding, but there wasn’t much she could do inside the house that wouldn’t be weird. It was only when she started to walk past the fireplace on her way to the door that she remembered how much she’d wanted to check Minato and Kushina’s wedding portrait again, and she took a few steps back so she could analyse the pictures on the mantelpiece.

It didn’t take long for her to find the right one, and Sakura immediately chuckled at having her suspicions proved right. Looking at Minato and Kushina’s wedding portrait was absolutely _mindblowing_ , it really did seem like she was looking at Naruto in there. Even among the Uchiha and Hyuuga families, Sakura had never seen a case in which a child looked _so much_ like one of their parents. She made a mental note to talk about that with Naruto as she started to step away, but then her eyes caught on another of the many photographs on the mantelpiece that hadn’t been there when she checked them out back when she was eleven.

She recognised Kakashi immediately, even though there were five other people in the picture. It was impossible not to. He looked younger, though, maybe three or four years older than Sakura was now. Right next to him was a boy with that same raven hair and onyx eyes Sakura knew all too well and she had no doubt in her mind that that was Uchiha Obito, even though she’d never met him when he was alive. Obito had his arms around a pretty girl with shoulder-length brown hair and big doe brown eyes, and Sakura felt it safe to assume she was Rin. 

So _that_ was what they looked like.

It was weird to see Kakashi like that, with _them_. He hadn’t technically physically changed besides the fact that his hair had been shorter then than it was now, but she just didn’t _know_ about that part of his life. She knew both Obito and Rin had suffered horrible deaths that she knew absolutely nothing about, and at some point after that Kakashi was discharged from the army before he turned thirty. Seeing them so happy, so casually enjoying a vacation day so many years ago in the backyard of the house she stood on in that very same moment made it seem like she’d stepped into some kind of weird time-vortex for a second or two.

As was expected since the picture had been taken right there in the backyard of the Uzumaki’s house, Naruto and his family were also in it. Kushina was holding Rin’s hand while Minato posed behind his wife with his arms circling her waist. An eleven-year-old Naruto clung to Kakashi’s shirt like an annoying little brother and Sakura couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. She’d almost forgotten about that fucking _hideous_ orange jacket her friend used back then and holy shit did she love to see it again.

Sakura made her way out of the house right after that and headed straight to the bar where she asked for another white wine just before being joined by Ino and Tenten. Leaning back against the bar as she waited for her drink and propping herself on her elbows, Sakura absentmindedly listened to the girls’ discussion about marriage as her eyes zeroed in on Kakashi.

For everyone else, it might look like he was actually enjoying himself. Kakashi looked casual enough with his usual slouch and one hand stuffed in his trousers’ pockets as the other held a glass of scotch while he listened to a group of men he’d probably known from his days in the army, but Sakura saw the minute tension in the way he held himself that usually wasn’t there. She couldn’t help but frown as she wondered why that was.

Sakura was pulled from the scene ahead of her as the bartender handed her her wine. As soon as she had her drink in her hands, she could do nothing but follow the girls until they were with their friends again, where she made a point of staying the furthest away from Sasuke as she possibly could. Not that it actually helped, though, since she could feel the weight of his glare on her from the second she rejoined them.

Sasuke gave up on trying to catch her attention soon enough, which relieved Sakura a little bit. She knew Shikamaru had noticed something weird was going on but there was no way he could possibly ask her without it being suspicious. Still, she appreciated how he remained rooted by her side for moral support from then on.

When the photographer came around at some point in the early afternoon, Sakura tapped Naruto’s head in a silent request for him to crouch lower on the ground so that he wouldn’t pose in front of her dress. They posed for one, then two, then three pictures, all under Ino’s request. The blonde kept using the excuse of wanting to make sure they’d all look decent in at least one while everyone knew she just wanted more pictures so she could use all of her favourite poses until Shikamaru intercepted and told the photographer to just walk away before it got any worse.

“When we’re old you guys will thank me for having so many pictures of us,” Ino said as she turned her nose up at Shika. “These times don’t come back, you know?”

“That’s how time works, Ino,” Shika noted as he fished his cigarette carton from his trousers’ pockets.

From there on the bickering was quick to start. Sakura was halfway through her third glass of wine, keeping herself entertained with watching her friends move on to a discussion on the likelihood of time travel becoming a thing someday—with zero scientific accuracies, she was certain—when she silently asked Shika for her phone.

Kakashi hadn’t sent her any other messages but it was the battery indicator telling her she only had nine per cent left that made Sakura frown. She’d forgotten to charge her phone the night before but she’d really hoped her phone would get to live through the day if she left it alone in Shikamaru’s pockets.

Apparently, her hopes had been in vain. She wouldn’t have another option, she needed to charge it.

“Guys, does anyone have a charger?” Sakura interrupted Sai as he said some nonsense on the correlations between aliens and time travel.

“I have one in my room, Sakura-chan,” Naruto told her. “It’s on my bedside table.”

“Ok, cool! Thanks a lot, Naruto,” she smiled as she silently handed Shika her wine so he’d hold it while she was gone and started to step away from them.

“Ah! Uh…” Naruto said, making Sakura turn her head to stare back at him as he scratched the back of his hair. “It’s right on top of it, ok? Just… don’t open the drawer.”

“Oh _god_ ,” Sakura groaned before immediately turning around and walking over to the house, her mind immediately getting rid of any implications of what Naruto had just told her.

The house looked empty as she slipped in again, and Sakura turned straight to the staircase that led to the second level where the rooms were located. Naruto’s room was the closest to the staircase when she got to the second level and Sakura opened the door with the confidence of someone who’d been there about a million times before. She couldn’t help but smile at how tidy Naruto’s childhood room looked now, something that it’d never been when he actually lived in that house.

As promised, the charger was right on top of Naruto’s bedside table and already plugged into the wall. Sakura picked up the end and connected her phone, nodding slightly at herself as soon as her phone vibrated and announced it was now being charged. Setting it down, Sakura put it on airplane mode so that it’d charge faster and made a mental note to come back in an hour or so to check it out.

Her hands steered _far_ away from the drawer.

Making her way downstairs again, Sakura cursed herself for wearing heels that day. She had a good relationship with them overall, probably because she rarely had any excuse to wear them, but her feet just weren’t having it today. They’d started aching about half an hour into the party and she actually feared the possibility of having to take them out at some point since it was getting progressively worse.

“Took a nap?”

Sakura yelped at the sudden sound of Kakashi’s voice coming from right beside the staircase. She had been looking down at her feet as she climbed down the steps and the man was sneaky enough that he was never heard unless he wanted to be—something Sakura was starting to get used to despite the many, _many_ scares he’d given her for the past month.

“If I fell down the stairs it would be entirely on you,” she noted as she climbed the final steps and reached the living room floor.

“Maa, you make it sound like you weren’t just two steps above the ground.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smile as he reached her, her heart picking up its pace inside her chest as she _finally_ had the opportunity to spend a few moments with him. Both of his hands were stuffed into the front pockets of his trousers’, as was usual for Kakashi, and she was pleased to see that even with her heels she still had to move her eyes up to meet his.

“How’s the party?” she asked him.

“Very different than what I’d usually be doing on a Saturday morning.”

“You were self-projecting when you asked if I’d taken a nap, weren’t you?”

Kakashi shrugged. “I wouldn’t disagree that nap rooms would be a perfect improvement to parties.”

“Of course you do,” Sakura smiled at him, well aware of how ridiculously sappy she looked even though she’d aimed for being sarcastic. She would blame the wine if it came up, even though she was only slightly buzzed from her two and a half glasses.

“What about you?” Kakashi asked, his charcoal eyes warm and inviting as he looked down at her. “Enjoying yourself?”

“The open bar is _great_.” Sakura pointed a thumb to the general outside area. “Oh! The _shrimp_ , did you have the shrimp?”

“Of course I had the shrimp.” Kakashi nodded. “It’s the only reason I came.”

“You must be _loving_ this, eating and drinking for free.”

“Not very different from how I usually have it, is it?” Kakashi smirked.

Sakura rolled her eyes even though the corners of her lips were tugging upwards. 

“You’re _way_ too proud of that, way more than you should be,” she let the smile win over as she looked up at him. “You don’t look like you’re having much fun out there, though.”

“I dare you to spend time with middle-aged men who can only talk politics and see if you have any fun.”

“Hmm, _I’m_ having fun. My friends and I were discussing aliens and time travel before I came inside.”

“That’s _so_ much better,” Kakashi hung his head down in utter defeat, stealing a burst of fond laughter from Sakura. “Can we switch?”

“I just thought of something better,” Sakura smiled as she stepped around him and made her way to the Uzumaki’s kitchen. “Come on.”

She didn’t look back to see whether Kakashi was following her or not, having no doubt that he would. In a few steps she’d slid open the kitchen door and stepped inside the cosy, completely empty room. Once again Sakura appreciated the outdoors cooking area the Uzumaki had built near the pool a few years ago, where the buffet was now being held and prepared by the hired crew.

“You do know we’ll be missed, don’t you?” Kakashi asked from behind her as he made his way into the room.

She turned around as he shut the door behind him and went as far as opening her mouth to answer when a ringtone started sounding from his blazers’ pocket. Sakura turned to the glass cabinet and grabbed a normal cup while she waited for Kakashi to pick up. When he didn’t, she started filling the cup with tap water for herself and turned her head to look at him as he scowled at his phone screen, declined the call, and put it back in his pocket.

“Why do you look offended?” she asked as soon as she finished sipping from the water, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Is there anyone who likes being called?” Kakashi shrugged as he walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned his hip against it. “Especially from unknown numbers.”

“Oh, yes, _so_ disrespectful,” Sakura feigned a scowl as she shook her head disapprovingly. “Can you imagine? Using a phone for what it was created to be used for in the first place? The _audacity_.”

Her façade dropped as soon as Kakashi raised an amused eyebrow at her and they shared a few quiet chuckles as Kakashi also grabbed a glass for himself and filled it up with water.

“Interesting to know you also have the clearance to come in the house,” Kakashi noted as he put his now half-full glass down after drinking from it.

“According to Kushina-obasan, I’m family, you know?” Sakura brushed her hair off her left shoulder so that it’d fall down her back.

Kakashi opened his mouth to answer when his phone started ringing again. He let out a curse under his breath as he fished it out of his blazers’ inner pocket again and immediately turned down the call.

“Maybe you should take it,” Sakura noted as she took another sip of her water.

“Hm,” Kakashi hummed as he put his phone back. “If they call again I’ll do that.”

Sakura nodded and filled her cup to the brim again before it was even empty to begin with.

“What are you doing after this?” Kakashi asked as he watched Sakura.

“Working on my thesis,” Sakura answered before bringing the cup to her lips and taking a sip. “Three weeks left.”

“Hmhmm,” Kakashi hummed, his charcoal eyes slowly roaming her body before settling back on her eyes again. “And five until graduation.”

“Thirty-four days.”

Kakashi chuckled at her. “Good to know I’m not the only one,” he said as the corner of his lips tugged upwards.

Sakura opened her mouth to answer when the ringing started again.

“I can leave if you want,” she offered as Kakashi begrudgingly fished his phone out again.

“No, it’s ok.” He shook his head. “Won’t take long.”

As he accepted the call, Sakura turned back to the sink and started drinking the rest of her water in one go. 

“Yes?” he greeted the caller, his tone absurdly unimpressed at being bothered on a Saturday morning. “Why? Who’s talking?”

Sakura was sure it hadn’t even been five minutes since they’d moved to the kitchen, but they should probably head outside soon if they wanted to avoid unnecessary attention—especially when she was certain Sasuke must be keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. She was just about to reach out for the sponge to clear her cup when she realised Kakashi hadn’t said anything else for several seconds. 

As soon as Sakura turned her head to look at him she knew something was wrong. 

Even though his charcoal eyes were looking straight ahead at the kitchen wall she could see how unfocused they were, and Sakura was one hundred per cent certain she had never seen Kakashi stand as straight as he did right then. Every single ounce of his body was tense and clenched _tight_ and her heart faltered in her chest as dread coursed through her veins.

She only realised she’d been holding her breath when Kakashi put his phone down. 

“Kakashi?” Sakura asked under her breath.

“Genma was injured,” he stated and Sakura felt the hair on her arms stand up at the strain she could hear in his voice.

It took two or three seconds but as soon as Sakura fully understood and accepted what Kakashi had said, it felt almost as if she’d been punched in the gut. Quickly pushing her fears to the back of her mind, though, Sakura took the lead in doing what needed to be done.

“Ok, you need to get there,” she said as she gave one step further in Kakashi’s direction, forcing him to look at her. “I’m gonna call you a cab. I can also tell Minato-ojisan and Kushina-obasan if you want.”

“I’ll tell them.” Kakashi’s charcoal eyes focused on hers, his voice still strained and posture _scary_ straight.

Sensing that it’d be better to just get shit done first before comforting Kakashi, Sakura stepped around him and ran out of the kitchen. She kicked her heels off without stopping as soon as she reached the living room and made a mental note to pick them up when she came down again. Her priority now was to get to Naruto’s bedroom and do it _fast_.

Sakura climbed the stairs at full speed, jumping every other step in her hurry, and nearly crashed against Naruto’s door in a hurry to open it. Her hands were steady and firm as she picked up her phone and took it off airplane mode, dialling the taxi agency’s number from memory.

Less than three minutes later, the taxi was on its way. It’d be there in ten minutes, and Sakura let out a relieved breath as she put her phone back on Naruto’s bedside table. Knowing she had to find Kakashi to let him know, Sakura made her way out of the room and jogged down the stairs. She put her heels back on and opened the kitchen door to check if Kakashi was still in there only to find the room empty.

Making her way outside again, Sakura saw Kakashi talking to Minato and Kushina close to the sakura tree they had in the far end of their backyard, a few steps away from the low stage the band was still playing on. Checking her watch, Sakura knew Kakashi had little over eight minutes until the taxi was there and she needed to let him know as inconspicuously as possible, which she suddenly realised would be really, _really_ difficult in the middle of the party.

Immediately turning around on her heels, Sakura crossed the living room and went up to Naruto’s room again. She sat down in his old bed this time as she unlocked her phone and opened her chat with Kakashi.

_Cab will be here in 7 minutes_

Kakashi immediately opened the message, which meant he was already done talking to Minato and Kushina. Sakura anxiously watched as the three dots showed up on the screen letting her know Kakashi was typing, but as soon as his answer popped up her heart leapt in her chest.

_Meet you outside_

Did he only want to say goodbye or did he want her to go to the hospital with him? If the latter, this was definitely something she hadn’t expected, but she knew she would never say no if it was the case. Wasting no time at all, she immediately moved to her chat with Shikamaru.

_I think I have to go. Something came up, I don’t have time to answer the guys’ questions_

Shikamaru was usually a slow and lousy texter, but anytime she needed him he was the quickest replier in the world and Sakura couldn’t help but be really fucking thankful for him.

_I’ll tell them you have diarrhoea_

Sakura almost found it in herself to smile at his answer as she stood up from Naruto’s bed, but when she was about to unplug her phone from the charger, her phone buzzed again with another message from Shikamaru.

_Everything ok?_

_Complicated_

_But I’m ok!_

After sending the messages, Sakura unplugged her phone and turned on her heels to meet Kakashi outside. She couldn’t go outside to the backyard to talk to Minato and Kushina since she couldn’t afford to see any of her friends, yet she just couldn’t leave their party and house without saying goodbye. Her mind remained conflicted until she reached the end of the stairs and heard Minato’s voice coming from the opened kitchen door.

“...don’t know, love, this is weird.”

“We don’t know the context, honey,” Kushina answered back. “And even if we did, you’re the one who’s always going on about how we should just mind our business.”

“This is different,” Minato continued. “She’s _Naruto’s_ age, love. The age differen…”

“And they’re both _adults_ ,” Kushina pressed. “She wasn’t raised with Kakashi-kun as an older brother. And again: we don’t know the context.”

Sakura’s heart squeezed inside her chest. It just didn’t make sense, _why_ were they discussing it? Had Minato and Kushina somehow known about the five minutes she and Kakashi had spent in the kitchen together?

“He wouldn’t be taking her to the hospital if she didn’t mean something to him,” Minato continued. “Love, you _know_ how Kakashi gets when this stuff happens. He’s never wanted anyone with him in these moments before and he wants _her_ now.”

Sakura closed her eyes, whispering a curse under her breath. Had Kakashi _told_ them Sakura would be leaving with him? Why the fucking hell would he _do_ that? Did he want to save time so she wouldn’t have to say her goodbyes or did he just have a momentary memory lapse and forgot they were supposed to be keeping a low profile?

“Why are you acting like this is a bad thing?” asked Kushina after a few moments of silence. “You more than anyone should be happy for him.”

Unwilling to walk into the kitchen with _that_ conversation happening, Sakura turned on her heels and made her way to the front door before Minato answered. She would just have to be impolite this once and send a text to Kushina when she was out of there.

Kakashi was outside when she opened the door. She knew he could hear her closing it behind her but he didn’t turn around, and Sakura glanced down at her watch to see there were four minutes left until the cab got there. There was still a clear tension in his shoulders and he kept on standing straighter than she’d ever seen him, which made Sakura’s heart pick up inside her chest in anxiety. 

Moving her phone to her right hand, Sakura walked up to Kakashi and stopped as close as she dared without actually touching him—which she was dying to do. 

Kakashi wasn’t ok. That much was obvious to her, and she could feel her eyebrows drawing together as she turned her head to study his profile. From close quarters it was easier to see just how strong Kakashi’s hold on what he showed the world was. She knew that anyone else who happened to look at him right then might think this was the norm for Kakashi, yet Sakura could now see the way his jaw was clenched _tight_ and how his charcoal eyes had lost the usual casual and lazy aloofness they usually held to be replaced by a somewhat eerie sharpness.

Sakura sighed as she tried as discreetly as possible to redistribute some of her weight on her feet so that they wouldn’t hurt so much. It didn’t work, though, and she was well aware it’d only get better if she took her heels off.

“Do you know what happened?” Sakura asked with the calmest voice she could possibly muster.

Kakashi shook his head once, eyes still fixed straight ahead, and Sakura turned her head over her shoulder to see if there was anyone watching them. After finding all of the windows empty and closed, Sakura cautiously slipped her left hand into Kakashi’s. She didn’t look at him as she did so and she also didn’t look when he squeezed her hand tight, but she felt how his shoulders slumped slightly as he hung his head low—almost as if he’d gotten tired of carrying it up.

Squeezing his hand back, Sakura started tracing her thumb gently and rhythmically over the back of his hand. After a while, Sakura looked at Kakashi again and saw he now had his eyes closed as he let out slow and calm breaths, head still hanging low. It took a few more seconds for her to realise he was matching his breathing to the rhythm of her thumb on his skin. 

Her eyes started burning at the realisation and Sakura moved them back to the street, focusing hard on the street sign on the other side of the residential road to stop the tears from coming. She needed to be strong now, and it wasn’t for her own sake. She was terrified of anything happening to Genma but she knew it wasn’t anything near what Kakashi was feeling. 

She would be damned if she failed him when he’d asked for her support.

The cab mercifully turned the corner right then, and Sakura gave one extra little squeeze on Kakashi’s hands to warn him. Not that he needed, though, since by the time she did he was already staring at the approaching car. Sometimes it amazed Sakura how in tune Kakashi was with the environment around him at any given time, she’d never actually met anyone with such attuned senses.

As the car made a U-turn and stopped in front of them, Sakura reached out for the door and entered first, scooting to the other side of the backseat.

“Good morning,” she greeted the driver as Kakashi slipped inside next to Sakura and closed the door behind him. “Konoha General Hospital, please.”

She heard the driver’s greeting and indication that he understood where to drive them but her eyes were set on Kakashi as he frowned down at the empty space between them on the backseat. Taking the cue, Sakura scooted closer to him so that she was now sitting on the middle seat and grabbed his right hand as he rested it on his thigh, giving it a squeeze. He upturned his hand then and intertwined their fingers together.

Kakashi looked down at their joined hands for a second or two before raising his eyes to meet Sakura’s. The emotion she saw reflected in them was so raw and intense that Sakura's heart immediately started hammering in her chest. She didn’t dare look away.

“I don’t have any money,” Sakura whispered after a few seconds went by.

Kakashi chuckled at that, closing his eyes as he shook his head slowly. Sakura couldn’t help but let out a relieved smile at having made him smile.

“I do,” he said as he opened his eyes again. “It’s ok.”

Sakura smiled as she started feeling his calloused thumb brushing the base of her thumb.

The rest of the ride to the hospital was spent in silence between them. Kakashi kept staring out the window while Sakura kept her eyes either on their joined hands, his profile, or the road ahead. The road was thankfully empty on that late Saturday morning, which meant it took less than twenty minutes until they got to the hospital.

Sakura watched as Kakashi fished his wallet out of his blazers’ inside pocket and handed the driver a $50 to cover their $38 drive as the car turned the corner to the hospital. He left the car immediately as soon as it slowed down enough, not even waiting for his change.

“You can keep it. Thank you,” Sakura told the driver as she hurriedly scooted to the opened door Kakashi’d left for her.

This was the first time Kakashi didn’t slow down his pace to meet hers, and Sakura had to jog to keep up with him as he marched to the hospital’s entrance. She kept wincing at literally every step as her feet felt as if they were being split open but carried on without slowing down.

The sterile scent of the hospital hit Sakura straight on when she walked through the entrance. The room was significantly empty, though, which was great since they wouldn’t have to wait for their turn. There were a few people sitting around the reception area and Kakashi walked straight past them until he reached the check-in counter.

“We’re here for Shinarui Genma,” he announced to the receptionist and Sakura heard even though she wasn’t quite there yet.

By the time she reached the counter, the woman was asking for Kakashi’s information so that she could authorise his ascent. After she handed him the visitor sticker he was supposed to stick to his clothes, she turned her eyes to stare at Sakura.

“Are you two together?”

“Yes,” Kakashi answered with no hesitation.

After Sakura gave out her information, she accepted the sticker with her data from the woman and paused for a few seconds as she tried to figure out where the hell to stick it. She couldn’t just put it on her silk dress, could she? Kakashi started walking away as soon as the receptionist told them to head to the fourth floor and wait in the designated area, though, so Sakura just stuck the sticker to the back of her hand and hurried off after him.

The elevator ride was excruciatingly tense, with Sakura well aware that the closer they got to where Genma was and to anyone who might be able to give them information, the worse it was for Kakashi. At this point he was standing really, _really_ still with his eyes cast on the elevator doors in front of them. Sakura could feel the nervous energy oozing out of him in waves and pressed her lips together trying to contain a little bit of her own anxiety.

Not knowing really was the worst.

Kakashi was out of the elevator before the doors were even half-way open, and Sakura couldn’t have kept up with him no matter how much she tried. By the time she could see the designated waiting area down the hall, Kakashi was standing rooted to a spot as he looked around with his eyes narrowed. Sakura had gone as far as opening her mouth to ask what was wrong when he started walking away again, and as soon as she turned her head in the direction he was heading to she saw the nurse who’d just appeared through the set of double doors only authorised staff were allowed to step through.

“Shiranui Genma,” Kakashi demanded as soon as he approached him, towering over the guy.

“Uh, sorry, sir, you’re go…”

“ _No_ ,” Kakashi snarled. “Tell me what’s wrong with him.”

Sakura thankfully reached them then and gently pressed a hand to Kakashi’s bicep in a silent plea for him to back off a little bit.

“Can you at least tell us if he’s still in surgery?” she asked the nurse, keeping her voice calm and steady.

“I’m only allowed to share information with his family members,” answered the nurse as he turned his eyes to her.

Kakashi’s lack of response was worrying right then and a shiver immediately went through Sakura when she turned her head to look at him. He looked like he was one step away from disembowelling the nurse and once again she felt the need to intervene.

“He’s his emergency contact. Hatake Kakashi.”

“Uh-huh, ok.” The nurse nodded as he avoided Kakashi’s glare, looking over Sakura’s shoulder at the nurses’ station. “Let me go check it.”

He stepped around them then, vanishing behind their backs where the counter was, and Sakura took the opportunity to slightly squeeze Kakashi’s bicep as she tried to catch his eyes. As soon as she did, though, it took everything in her to not just hug him right then. The blatant _terror_ reflected in his charcoal eyes was almost too much for Sakura, yet she swallowed down any of her own anxieties and stood her ground to give him the support he needed of her.

“Come on,” she softly smiled at him while leaning her head in the direction of the nurses’ station.

Before she could step away, though, Kakashi’s hand reached up and closed around her own where it still rested in his arm. Her eyes drifted down to them before travelling back up to meet his gaze. She could still see the terror there but now there was a softer edge to his charcoal eyes, as if he knew he was allowing himself to be vulnerable around her and was thankful for her understanding and support.

At least that’s how she interpreted it.

“Shiranui Genma, right?” the nurse’s voice was enough to break the moment between Sakura and Kakashi, and both moved their heads so that they were staring at the guy. 

“Yeah,” Sakura answered as she interlaced her fingers with Kakashi’s and lowered their hands from his bicep, gently leading him to the counter. “Any news?”

“Ok, so. He was admitted at 12:02, roughly an hour ago, and his thoracotomy started at 12:21. He…”

“What the _fuck_ is that?” Kakashi interrupted, eyebrows furrowed in confusion—and also a little bit of outrage, Sakura couldn’t help but notice.

“Open chest surgery.” Sakura quickly explained before motioning for the nurse to continue. “Can you give us any details? What was he injured with?”

“GSW,” the nurse replied absentmindedly as he clicked something on the screen, and only then seemed to realise that wasn’t clear to many people. He’d gone as far as opening his mouth before Sakura turned her head to Kakashi and spoke first. 

“He was shot.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Kakashi muttered under his breath as he roughly brushed a hand up his face.

“How many?” Sakura turned to the nurse again, who was looking at her a bit open-mouthed.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that,” he said and then crossed his arms over his chest. “You a med student?”

“You have _got_ to be _fucking_ kidding me,” Kakashi snarled at the guy. “When’s this shit gonna end? When can I _see_ him?”

Sakura squeezed Kakashi’s hand as the nurse sighed.

“Sir, look, these take some time. Could be anything from two to five hours, maybe more. You’re free to wait in the designated area, we’ll keep you updated.” 

Quietly thanking the nurse, Sakura started gently pulling Kakashi away to the sitting area. He thankfully didn’t put up a fight and followed her lead silently, almost as if the fight had started to leave him and gave way to exhaustion.

With an idea popping up in her head, Sakura continued leading Kakashi past the waiting area and through the corridor. It was almost as if she could _feel_ his confusion, so she turned her head over her shoulder and gave him a soft smile as she gently squeezed his hand.

“Can you borrow me a five?” Sakura asked as soon as they stopped in front of the vending machine close to the elevators.

As soon as she caught sight of that little smile playing at the corners of Kakashi’s lips, Sakura felt a wave of relief wash over her. He was slightly shaking his head as he fished his wallet out of his blazers’ inner pocket, and Sakura leaned into his personal space to give him a peck on the cheek after he handed her the money she’d asked for.

“Which ones do you like?” she asked as she started analysing the stuff inside the machine, doing everything she could to smother the grin that wanted to burst through her lips as soon as she caught track of the redness on the tip of Kakashi’s ears.

The next five minutes were spent by them picking up an absurd amount of candy. It became pretty obvious to Sakura that Kakashi didn’t really give a fuck about sweets, and even though they both knew she was only doing this to distract him, she could see they were both glad it was working. In the end, they spent ten bucks instead of five on the candy and chocolate bars, and Sakura had a huge smile playing on her lips as they divided the sweets between them on their way back to the waiting area.

All of the seats in the square-shaped sitting area were mercifully empty when they got there and Sakura and Kakashi chose two random ones to sit in. It would’ve made sense to sit with a space between them so they could share the candy amongst themselves but Sakura knew it was more important to remain as close to Kakashi as possible right now, so she deposited all of the candy on her lap and sat next to him.

“Want me to keep your phone in my pocket?” Kakashi offered after depositing his half of the sweets on her lap, looking down at the phone still clutched in her hand.

“Yeah, thanks,” she smiled at him as she handed him the nearly dead phone. “Oh, about that. Are you gonna tell your friends?”

Kakashi cursed under his breath as he placed her phone in his blazers’ pocket and took his own out of it. Sakura took the opportunity to take off her right shoe—actually sighing in relief when she did so—and crossed her right leg over her left one, gently pressing her bare foot to Kakashi’s trousers’-covered calf in a silent show of support as she gave him some privacy to text his friends. 

Sakura kept herself busy opening a chocolate bar as Kakashi typed away in his phone. As soon as he put it back in his pocket, she offered the chocolate to him and smiled as he took it. It was only then that she noticed how his left hand was clenched in a tight fist, though, and Sakura raised her eyes to look at his profile.

“Is this only about Genma?” she asked.

“Hmm. Not a fan of hospitals,” Kakashi explained before handing her the chocolate bar back.

Sakura hummed as she accepted it and took a bite. After that, they enjoyed one of their usual companionable silences as they exchanged the chocolate bar back and forth between them. 

“I’m sorry I dragged you here,” Kakashi said as Sakura scrunched the now empty package into a little ball.

“You didn’t drag me anywhere.” Sakura softly rolled her eyes at him. “Quite the opposite, I’m really happy you trusted me to be here.”

“Well, when the opportunity to play footsies in the hospital shows up…” Kakashi looked down pointedly at her bare foot, still pressed against his calf.

Sakura snorted and slapped his shoulder, unable to stop herself from feeling warm at the sight of Kakashi’s soft smile. Her eyes locked against his charcoal ones then, and her heart literally skipped a beat at what she saw there.

“Thank you,” he said, his usually low voice almost a whisper then.

“No need for that,” Sakura answered, finally being able to say back those four little words he’d said so much when he first offered her the self-defence lessons months before. Reaching out with her left hand to grab his right one, Sakura smiled softly at him. “Thanks for letting me be here.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything as he looked back at her, and just like that Sakura couldn’t read him again. She could see his charcoal eyes were soft and vulnerable but she knew there was something going on inside his mind that she just couldn’t figure out.

“Another one?” she asked instead of trying to read him any further, her free hand pointing at the sweets placed in her lap.

“Sure.” Kakashi nodded with the corner of his lip tugging upwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under the table*
> 
> please just trust me!!!!!! love you guys <3


	24. breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank Wren from the bottom of my heart for helping me out with this chapter! thank you so, so much baby, I love you to bits!
> 
> WARNINGS PERTINENT TO THIS CHAPTER WILL BE FOUND IN THE BOTTOM AUTHORS NOTE

“Is it bad that my main worry right now is Kakashi?” Kurenai asked.

Asuma sighed before wrapping his arm around his wife’s shoulder and pulling her close to him. The hospital’s elevator had just closed its doors, trapping them inside as they rode up to the fourth floor not even half an hour after they got the text from Kakashi. 

“Genma’s so sneaky he’ll find his way out of this,” Asuma reassured her as he kissed the top of his wife’s hair. “Not so sure about Kakashi.”

Kurenai sighed as she wrapped her arms around Asuma’s midsection, the two of them just staying there for a few seconds getting ready to handle the trainwreck Kakashi became every time something like this happened. It’d been a really long time since anything like this had, though, which meant it’d been years since they’d last had to try doing damage control with Kakashi—not that they ever succeeded. Asuma, Kurenai, Tenzou, and Gai had tried everything they could in the past when shit like that happened, but Kakashi just didn’t respond to any of them.

It’s not like he caused any damage to anyone else… usually. After Rin and Obito’s deaths, Kakashi had a really bad episode that resulted in his Commander’s house being absurdly trashed, but other than that he usually just got… _quiet_. Unresponsive. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t sleep, he wouldn’t do anything no matter how much they tried. 

The four of them were used to him just shutting down and pushing them away for a few months until he’d be ready again, and after so many years in which they didn’t have to worry about him like that… it didn’t feel great to know it was about to happen right now.

Getting him to adopt Pakkun had helped, a lot. It seemed like having a life depending on him had made Kakashi value his own more, but the pug wasn’t there now and both Asuma and Kurenai knew Genma was someone Kakashi wouldn’t be able to handle losing.

The elevator’s door opened and the couple walked out of it side by side, Asuma’s arms still wrapped around his wife’s shoulders.

“What do we do?” Kurenai asked as they got closer to the waiting area.

“I think we should just act normal,” Asuma answered. “Not say anything, just keep an eye out for him but without making him feel cornered.”

“Yeah.” Kurenai nodded as they made their way down the corridor. “Yeah, that sounds good. Fuck, it’s been so long, I was really getting used to seeing Kakashi being normal. I kno—”

His wife stopped in her tracks and Asuma looked down at her face just in time to see her crimson eyes widen. Following her gaze until his eyes landed on what he knew she was seeing, it took Asuma a few seconds to really accept what was happening.

“Holy fuck.”

Kakashi wasn’t brooding alone in a corner with waves of self-hatred oozing off of him. Quite on the contrary, actually. He was sitting right next to no other than _Sakura_ , both of them wearing fancy clothes that made it seem like they’d been together before coming here. 

That wasn’t the ‘holy fuck’ aspect of it, though.

Kakashi was smiling. He had his eyes set on Sakura as she struggled to open a chocolate bar in her hands and he was _smiling_ , looking at the girl as if she was the one beacon of hope in his life.

“I’m gonna cry,” Kurenai whispered as she brought a hand up to her mouth. “Oh my god, is this happening?”

“Holy fuck,” Asuma repeated, letting out a disbelieving chuckle. “There’s no way Genma’s dying before he sees this.”

Kurenai let out a shaky laugh as she took a step back, pulling Asuma with her down the hallway.

“Ok, now we _really_ need a game plan,” she said as they reached the other corner. “They can’t know we saw that.”

“It’s not like we’re judging them or anything,” Asuma argued as he scratched the back of his head. “I mean, we’ve kinda known for like a month now.”

“Yeah, but Kakashi really didn’t take it well the last time you tried to bring it up, did he?”

“Pretty sure he was dissociating that day.”

“ _Still_ , Asuma.” Kurenai crossed her arms in front of her chest. “We need to respect their time. This is the first time we’ve seen Kakashi looking like _that_ at anyone in the twenty fucking years we’ve known him, there’s no way I’m doing anything to risk it.”

“We can’t just wait here, though. What if Tenzou and Gai get here and see them?”

“Fuck,” Kurenai cursed as she looked in the general direction of the waiting area. “Ok, yeah, let’s go. Just be cool, ok?”

“You’re telling _me_ to be cool?” Asuma pointed a finger at his own chest.

Instead of answering, Kurenai rolled her eyes at him and started walking away back the way they’d come from. Asuma followed right after, unable to stop himself from grinning as his hand instinctively found hers, and after making the rest of their way down the corridor they turned the corner to the waiting area.

Kakashi saw them first. Asuma was one hundred per cent sure he would’ve noticed them faster if he hadn’t been distracted looking at Sakura, but still, he noticed a lot sooner than she did. All Kakashi did was raise an eyebrow at them as if daring them to say anything, which of course they didn’t. Sakura, though, had an uncertain look on her face before she quietly greeted them.

“Any news?” Kurenai asked as she sat down across from the two of them, actually acting as if it was completely normal and expected for Sakura to be there.

Based on the tiny smile Asuma saw playing on Sakura’s face, he could see she appreciated it. She then looked at Kakashi as if she was trying to figure out if he wanted to be the one to share the news, but after their eyes met for a second she cleared her throat and started speaking. “He was shot in the chest. He’s having open chest surgery right now, and it could last a few hours.”

“Shit,” Asuma cursed under his breath, taking a seat next to his wife.

“How long has it been?” Kurenai asked.

“About an hour now,” Sakura said as she checked her wristwatch.

After that, the four of them settled in companionable silence. Sakura offered them candy a few times, which Asuma of course accepted, but otherwise didn’t speak much. Gai was the next to arrive after them, settling himself on Kakashi’s other side after getting the update from Sakura. Tenzou took a bit longer, arriving a full hour after Asuma and Kurenai, and did a double-take as soon as his eyes landed on Sakura.

Neither of them had much energy or were in the headspace to inquire too much about Sakura’s presence there, though, thankfully. It was obvious to Asuma that as much as Kakashi had apparently already accepted that both him and Kurenai were well aware something was going on between him and Sakura, he still didn’t want the word to be out just yet—which Asuma completely understood.

Yet, it clearly hadn’t gone unnoticed to Tenzou and Gai how differently Kakashi was dealing with this situation this time around, although neither of them seemed to connect any dots between him and Sakura.

It still wasn’t a good afternoon. It was undeniable that Kakashi was doing _better_ but it was clear he was still freaking out. They all flinched every time the double doors to the restrictive area opened, and most of the hours they spent there were spent in silence with Sakura sharing her chocolates with everyone who had the stomach to eat them.

The more time that passed, the worst it got. After the five-hour mark came and went, it became pretty clear to them that something must be wrong. Sakura was the only one that kept tranquilising them, saying that long surgeries didn’t necessarily mean they were going wrong and that maybe the surgeons just had to be very cautious. That didn’t really help, though.

They were all really scared.

A while later, Asuma was surprised to see Kakashi’s old Commander from the army making his way to their group. Sakura immediately tensed up when she laid her eyes on the blond man, while Kakashi’s face looked like he expected nothing but bad news from Commander Namikaze’s arrival.

“Did you find out?” Kakashi asked in manner of greeting.

It also didn’t go unnoticed by Asuma how the man’s blue eyes lingered a little bit longer between Kakashi and Sakura than would’ve been normal.

“Yes, I did.” Commander Namikaze nodded at Kakashi before politely addressing everyone present with nods.

Kakashi immediately stood up and followed his previous superior out of the room. Asuma knew whatever information was being exchanged between them was most likely classified—which didn’t explain why _Kakashi_ was getting it since he wasn’t in the army anymore, but Asuma wouldn’t argue—and that he most likely wouldn’t know what happened in all details.

That was ok, though. He didn’t need to know. All he wanted was for Genma to be fine.

Kakashi came back alone, completely silent and with a mood a hundred times worse than it’d been before. He didn’t offer any explanation as to where Commander Namikaze had gone and nobody asked.

When the clock announced that seven hours had passed with Genma still in surgery, Kakashi had had his head dropped in his hands for the past forty minutes. Sakura had been staring at a corner of the waiting area for just as long, and the rest of them weren’t doing much better. If it hadn’t been for her taking a trip to the hospital’s cafeteria—with Kakashi’s wallet, which made Asuma chuckle—and bringing them sandwiches, they wouldn’t have eaten a single thing since they got there.

When the door to the restricted area opened again and a surgeon in clean scrubs came out, all of them stood up. Kurenai immediately wrapped her arm around Asuma’s waist, her hand clutching his shirt tightly and prompting him to hug her around her shoulders in return. There hadn’t been anyone else on the trauma floor that entire day, which of course was a good thing for the overall population of Konoha even while also making Asuma wonder if Genma had really been the only one to actually get injured in whatever the hell had happened to him.

“I should’ve known you’d be here,” the surgeon said as her eyes zeroed in on Kakashi after going through all of the others—lingering for a second more on Sakura, Asuma couldn’t help but notice.

“How is he?” Kakashi asked instead of actually addressing what she’d said, crossing his arms tightly in front of his chest.

“Not even gonna say hi, brat?” she said, narrowing her hazel eyes at Kakashi. “He’s stable.”

A collective wave of relief went through the entire group with the exception of Kakashi, who looked as tense as he’d looked the entire day. 

“Can I see him?”

“Of course you can’t,” the surgeon snapped back. “We’re moving him to a recovery room now for him to wake up and then he’ll be in the ICU for a day or two before we move him to a private room. The surgery took longer than expected due to the sensitive nature of the injury, and it’s still too early to say for certain if there’ll be permanent damages. What matters for now is that he’s stable.”

“I want to see him,” Kakashi stated again.

“Kakashi.”

“ _Tsunade_.”

“You can visit _tomorrow_. Visitation hours start at 9 am.”

Silence stretched for a while after that, and so many seconds went by that Asuma actually thought Kakashi wouldn’t say anything, until he was proven wrong.

“I’m not leaving him alone here.”

Asuma pursed his lips at Kakashi’s borderline pained words as Kurenai’s grip on his shirt tightened.

“You’ll be free to spend the nights here after he’s moved to a private room.” The blonde woman, Tsunade, crossed her arms as she shot daggers with her eyes at Kakashi. “ _Not_ while he’s in the ICU, got it, Hatake? If I see you lurking around here there’ll be hell to pay.”

It was obvious for everyone there that Kakashi had already set his mind on it, though. Asuma didn’t have a shadow of a doubt that he would spend the entire night sitting on that chair if needed, regardless of how irrational it would be to do so.

“Well, don’t mind me, guys, but I’m starving,” Tsunade said before Kakashi could respond and started walking away from them, waving a hand in the air. “Go home, Hatake! Shiranui’s fine.”

Kakashi immediately started walking back to the empty seats as soon as Tsunade vanished down the corridor, and Asuma knew he wasn’t the only one there well aware of what that meant.

“He won’t know you’re here, Kakashi,” Tenzou tried to argue, as useless as they all knew it would be. 

“Doesn’t fucking matter,” Kakashi snarled back, turning to face them again. “I’m _not_ leaving him alone here.”

The five of them were completely silent for a few seconds, unsure of what to say to try to change Kakashi’s mind. Asuma knew it was useless but it didn’t make it all any less shitty. He just really wished there was a way to help Kakashi, in a way he’d let himself be helped.

“Why don’t you go home and come back later?” Sakura suggested—very bravely, Asuma might add.

Five sets of eyes turned to stare at her, yet Asuma couldn’t help but notice how she didn’t meet anyone’s that wasn’t Kakashi’s.

“You can shower, change into more comfortable clothes,” she continued, tilting her head to the side while still holding Kakashi’s eyes with her own. “You can be back in less than an hour.”

“Spring blossom is right!” Gai nodded approvingly, earning a smile from Sakura in return. “You need to take care of yourself, Kakashi.”

Kakashi was still looking at Sakura, being as unsubtle as he could possibly fucking be. 

“We can drive you,” Kurenai offered. “And Sakura, we can drop you off too.”

Sakura’s green eyes turned surprisingly at Kurenai. “Thanks,” she smiled at them. “I’d appreciate it.”

“Gai, did you come with your car?” Tenzou turned to his friend.

“My car is no match for my own speed!” Gai gave a thumbs up to the group. “I ran!”

“Ok, I’ll drive you back,” Tenzou affirmed, completely ignoring Gai’s answer while Asuma, Kurenai, and Sakura smiled despite themselves.

“Yosh!” Gai clapped his hands, beaming at his friends now that they knew things with Genma were fine. “That’s great! I have no doubt Genma will be as youthful as he’s always been in a few days.”

They all started making their way to the elevator then, sharing quiet conversations amongst themselves. Kakashi and Sakura were the only ones in silence, leisurely dragging behind the group in a way that made Asuma certain they hadn’t even noticed it. By the time the six of them reached the parking lot, Tenzou and Gai left to one side as they headed to Tenzou’s car while Asuma, Kurenai, Kakashi, and Sakura walked in the other direction.

“Do you live closer to the hospital than Kakashi, Sakura?” Asuma asked as he pressed the button to unlock his car and opened the door to the driver’s seat. 

“Oh, yeah, I do.” She opened the door behind the passenger seat and only continued after settling in the middle seat on the back, right next to Kakashi, who sat on the seat behind Asuma’s. “Makes more sense to go there first.”

“Am I right to assume you’ll be coming back to the hospital with Kakashi?” Kurenai asked as Asuma started to pull the car off the spot, turning her head to look at the two of them in the backseat.

There were a few seconds of silence after that, prompting Asuma to move his eyes to the rearview mirror to see what was going on back there. He couldn’t see Sakura’s full face but he could see the apprehension stamped in her green eyes as she looked at Kurenai.

“Yeah,” was all she said, to which Kurenai nodded and turned her head back to stare at the road ahead of them.

Asuma saw the little grin on his wife’s lips and could only smirk in return, doing his best to hide it from the two people in the backseat. As soon as they drove out of the hospital’s parking lot, Sakura told them her address and fell back into silence, which no one breached. 

It killed him that he didn’t have eyes on Kakashi right then, especially since he was being so fucking _quiet_ in that one way that always scared the shit out of Asuma.

Being quiet wasn’t new to Kakashi by any news, but there was just something so blatantly _wrong_ now that it was almost palpable in the car.

When Asuma pulled up in front of the curb of Sakura’s building, his eyes moved to the rearview mirror just in time to catch her placing a tiny kiss in Kakashi’s hand—had they been _holding hands_?—before jumping out of the car. Knowing better than to say anything, both Asuma and Kurenai remained completely silent as they waited for Sakura.

Taking the opportunity of a few free minutes, Asuma pulled his window down and fished his cigarettes from his jeans’ pocket. Kurenai offered him his lighter right after he placed one between his lips, and he thanked her with a wink before turning to the window and lighting it up.

Sakura was back before he was done, which was really fucking impressive considering she’d not only changed from her dress to black sweatpants, a KU hoodie, and flip flops but also apparently prepared a backpack full of god knows what. Both he and Kurenai watched amusedly as she ran over to the car and hopped inside the car again.

“Oof,” Sakura said as she closed the door behind her and scooted over to the middle again, settling close to Kakashi. “Ok, got everything.”

“Cool.” Asuma took one last drag before putting his cigarette out and throwing the bud in the little trash they left attached to the gear.

“Did you hurt your feet?” Kurenai turned her head to stare at Sakura as Asuma drove off the curb, and it was only then that he realised the girl was now barefoot and ripping open a band-aid.

“Heels,” Sakura explained, and Kurenai hummed in understanding. “They were _killing_ me.”

“Throw them out. They either hurt you or they don’t, that’s something that took me way too long to learn.”

“They’re so _pretty_ , though,” Sakura sighed, and Asuma chuckled at the sad longing in her voice.

It wasn’t too long of a drive from Sakura’s place to Kakashi’s. After ten minutes and three band-aids placed on Sakura’s feet—from the ripping noises Asuma had heard—they were turning the corner of his friend’s street. The surprising lack of cars on the street on that early Saturday evening made it possible for Asuma to do a U-turn before stopping right in front of Kakashi’s building.

“Ok, we’ll be down he—” Asuma started.

“Don’t wait,” Kakashi snarled as he threw his door open, pulling Sakura out of the car along with him. She only had time to gasp before hurriedly bringing her backpack along with her.

Looking out the window, Asuma saw the way the pinkette’s eyes widened as she watched Kakashi slamming the back door of the car before turning to his building.

“What the fuck was that?” Kurenai asked, leaning forward on her seat so she could watch as Kakashi marched to the door and Sakura jogged to keep up with him. “What do we _do_?”

“I don’t know,” Asuma confessed as Kakashi threw the door open and they both disappeared through it.

“Are they even going back to the hospital?”

“I don’t know,” he said again, turning his head to look at his wife. “Do you think they’re gonna fuck?”

“Asuma.” Kurenai scowled at him. “I highly doubt _that_.”

“Why?” Asuma frowned. “He just found out Genma’s alive, I see no reason wh—”

“We’re already gonna fuck when we get home, you can stop right there.”

The cheeky grin Asuma gave in return was enough to make her chuckle as she shook her head at him.

“For real, though, shouldn’t we wait?” Kurenai asked as Asuma started driving away from Kakashi’s curb. “Something’s clearly going on.”

“I mean, yeah.” Asuma shrugged one shoulder as he turned the steering wheel to the side. “Still, Kakashi wanted _her_ there, not us.”

.

.

.

There was something wrong.

It was more than clear to Sakura that the way Kakashi immediately let go of her hand when the building’s door closed behind them wasn’t normal. The way he completely ignored Pakkun and headed straight to his bathroom as they finally reached his studio, though, was a bad, _bad_ sign.

Sharing a worried look with the pug when the sound of running water started coming from the room Kakashi had just disappeared into, Sakura closed the studio’s door behind her and put her backpack down on the floor as she stepped out of her flip flops and left them where she’d left her sneakers the last time she’d been there. 

“Kakashi?” Sakura called softly as she started stepping in the direction of the bathroom. He hadn’t closed the door behind him, which would normally mean he wouldn’t mind her seeing whatever it was he was doing in there, but Kakashi had clearly been in a chaotic mindset when they got there and she wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot to shut the door behind him.

He didn’t say anything in return, though, which made Sakura’s heart clench in worry. Pakkun trotted to the bathroom and let out a little whine as he looked up at what Sakura could only assume to be Kakashi, and Sakura took the cue to check out what was going on.

“I’m going over there, ok?” she announced and waited for a few seconds to see if he’d answer.

He didn’t.

Taking the few steps that still separated her from the bathroom, Sakura tried to prepare herself for whatever she would see there. She didn’t have much clue on what it could be, honestly, but as soon as she placed a hand on the doorframe and let her eyes focus on the scene ahead of her, she frowned.

Kakashi was washing his hands.

For a second there she almost, _almost_ let herself believe he was just being hygienic and washing his hands because they’d just arrived from the hospital, but there was something _wrong_ and Sakura could see it as clear as day. Kakashi was hunched over the sink, shaking uncontrollably as he ferociously scrubbed his hands under a water spray so hot it was releasing _steam_ when it came in contact with his skin. His eyes were set on his hands and nothing else.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t panic right then. Sakura’s heart clenched so tight inside her chest she feared it’d actually frozen for a second, but she pushed it all to the farthest corner of her mind as she stepped into the bathroom.

Sakura had never seen a PTSD episode in real life but she knew that was it.

The first thing she did was gently reach out and close the tab on the sink, stopping the furious and burning hot flow of water Kakashi had set onto him. His hands were tainted red as he carried on scrubbing them, making Sakura realise he hadn’t even noticed the water was off at all.

“Kakashi,” she called gently, careful not to touch him. “Kakashi, I need you to look at me.”

She had no idea if her voice was even getting to him since he didn’t slow down what he was doing nor moved his glazed, unseeing charcoal eyes away from his hands. Sakura could feel her eyebrows drawing together as her eyes moved from his profile down to his hands and then back again.

“Kakashi, I know what you’re seeing right now feels real but it isn’t,” she said again, her eyes carefully categorising every tiny change to his body language. “You’re safe, you’re in your studio. I’m here with you, and so is Pakkun.”

It took a while until her words started taking effect. She was careful not to touch him all along as she said similar things and tried to pull Kakashi out of where he mentally was, glad the water wasn’t hurting him anymore even though she was sure his furiously scrubbing hands were doing enough damage to each other on their own. 

Still, as soon as his eyes moved up to their reflection on the mirror that hung over his sink and met hers, Sakura let out a shaky sigh.

“Kakashi?” she called, her heart unclenching a little bit as she realised his hands weren’t scrubbing each other so strongly anymore. “Can I touch you?”

If Sakura hadn’t been watching him so intently she might have missed the tiny nod he gave her. Thankfully, she didn’t, and slowly reached out with both hands to wrap Kakashi’s in her own.

He stopped the movement as soon as her hands enveloped his, and his eyes moved down to look at where they were now joined. Sakura squeezed his hands tightly for a second before raising one of her own to the back of his neck, making him turn to face her and pulling him down to a hug.

“Breathe,” she whispered in his ear as she started threading her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, forcing herself to stand on her tiptoes regardless of how hard it was to hold even a fraction of Kakashi’s weight on her shoulder as he pressed his face to the crook of her neck.

A few minutes went by like this, with Sakura supporting him up and whispering reassuring words in his ears while Kakashi just focusing on breathing. One of her hands was still busy cradling both of his while her other one kept on playing with his hair, which she knew he loved.

“Can you tell me where you are?” Sakura asked a few minutes later, her legs burning from the strain. Still, she didn’t budge.

“Studio,” Kakashi answered gruffly into the crook of her neck.

“Who’s here with you?”

“You. Sakura,” he answered, clearing his throat before going on. “And Pakkun.”

“Do you wanna lie down?” she offered.

Sakura felt his nod against her shoulder and gently lowered herself from her tiptoes. After she lowered the hand she had been using to play with his hair, she took each of his abused ones in her own and took the time to bring each of them up to her lips so she could kiss them.

Her eyes caught on Pakkun as he kept bumping his nose on Kakashi’s calf in his own show of support, and Sakura smiled at the sight.

“Come on,” she told Kakashi before leading him out of the bathroom and turning to where she knew his bed was. “Those are really cool.” She looked down at the forest-green duvet full of drawings of kunai and shuriken with a smile on her face as Kakashi took his shoes and blazer off before lying down.

Before she could do anything, Kakashi was using their joined hands to tug on her arm. Sakura took the cue and slipped into the bed with him, unable to stop herself from smiling when Kakashi immediately curled an arm around her waist to bring her closer.

They took a few seconds to rearrange themselves, with Sakura pulling herself up on the pillows and lying face-up to the ceiling while Kakashi laid his head on her chest. His right arm was tightly wrapped around her waist, almost as if he was afraid she’d try to wiggle herself from under him and leave.

Pakkun climbed on the bed as soon as they’d settled down and curled himself right behind Kakashi’s back on his other side. All Sakura could do was hope he felt as loved as he was as she started soothingly playing with his hair with her right hand, her left one interlaced with his own where it rested next to her.

She didn’t know how long it took until Kakashi fell asleep, but it was a pretty long time before Sakura did. She couldn’t help but keep replaying the events of the day over and over in her head, and even though she was exhausted from all of the anxiety and fear she’d felt over the past ten hours—or less, she didn’t even know what time it was anymore and was unwilling to move to check—it took ages until sleep won over and pulled Sakura into darkness.

.

.

.

He woke up with the scent of her.

Definitely the best thing he’d ever woken up to in his entire life, and Kakashi blissfully enjoyed those few peaceful seconds before he had to open his eyes and face reality just to enjoy the feel of Sakura around him.

At some point during the night, she had ended up using _his_ chest as a pillow as opposed to how they’d started the night before. Her right arm was tucked in the space between their torsos while her left one circled his waist, one leg propped up over his.

And then she let out a cute, endearingly weird snort that made Kakashi chuckle.

Of course, any ounce of peace and enjoyment he’d been feeling for the past minutes was thrown out the window as soon as he opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling of his studio. The amount of light outside the window let Kakashi know it was probably 7:30 am, and he wondered how long they’d actually slept as he raised his right hand to lightly graze his fingers along Sakura’s arm.

She snuggled closer into his side at that, which at the same time that it filled Kakashi with an indecent, raw amount of _happiness_ , also served as a rude reminder of what’d happened the night before.

He just couldn’t believe he’d brought her up with him.

Suddenly needing to get up and _move_ , Kakashi gently disentangled himself from Sakura and stood up from his bed. He hadn’t noticed Pakkun from where he was bundled up by Sakura’s feet, but the sight was enough to make Kakashi smile regardless of the heavy weight set on his shoulders.

Moving as silently as he could, Kakashi closed himself in the bathroom and took a few seconds to just look at himself in the mirror. His hands ached from the night before even though they weren’t as red as he’d expected them to be. Kakashi unbuttoned the shirt he’d worn the day before and let it fall to the floor before moving to his belt and trousers, unable to look at himself anymore.

Stepping into the shower and closing the glass partition behind him, Kakashi turned the handle for the cold water and remained stoically beneath the spray. He needed it.

Kakashi just couldn’t believe he’d let Sakura see him in that state. No, scratch that. He hadn’t let her. 

He’d _wanted_ her there.

Kakashi had never, ever allowed anyone else to see him like that, yet from the moment he got the news about Genma while still in the Uzumaki’s kitchen, he’d just _wanted_ her there. And she had been, right there next to him offering him _waves_ of support when he was being literally the worst company ever.

And then she’d not only seen him at his literal worst but also brought him out of it _spectacularly_ , faster than he’d ever done it to himself.

Usually, Kakashi had to count on only Pakkun as support, which just wasn’t enough in times like these. Every single time he’d had one of his PTSD episodes for the past years, Pakkun had done his very best to boop and scratch Kakashi’s calf endlessly until he pulled himself out of it, but too many times it’d gone on long enough for his hands to end up bloodied, burned, and cut.

Sakura had not only dealt with him amazingly, respecting him and his space through every step of the way—Kakashi had never actually had anyone else bring him down from one of his episodes but he just _knew_ she’d done the right thing—but she didn’t judge him for it.

At least it hadn’t looked like she did the night before.

She would’ve left it that was the case, wouldn’t she?

Pushing those thoughts to the back of his head, Kakashi tried to convince himself it wasn’t a big deal that he’d craved her presence the day before. He did his best to convince himself that it’d only be a big deal if he _made_ it be but Kakashi knew he wasn’t doing a good job convincing himself.

For the past month he’d done his best to not think about what he felt for Sakura but now it was slapping him in the face over and over again, and Kakashi didn’t know how to deal with that.

Unwilling to put a name to anything just yet, Kakashi wished that the frigid water coming out of his shower head would just be colder. If his mind was still working well enough to throw him around a loop, it clearly wasn’t doing its job.

It was then that Kakashi realised he hadn’t gone back to the hospital the night before.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he cursed under his breath as a wave of guilt hit him like a fucking tsunami.

He left Genma alone. He left Genma alone just to sleep next to Sakura even though he knew his friend would never, _ever_ do that if the roles were reversed.

A faint part of Kakashi’s mind tried to argue that it hadn’t been his desire to hang out with Sakura that made him not go back to the hospital—and that she was gonna go with him there anyway—and that it was just that he hadn’t been in a mental state to go anywhere that wasn’t his bed.

He didn’t listen.

Kakashi had failed his friend and that was it, there were no possible excuses to be made.

Hurrying through the rest of his shower, Kakashi did his best to just not _think_ anymore. He didn’t want to think of Sakura, he didn’t want to think of anything that wasn’t how much he’d failed Genma and that he’d need to make it up to him somehow.

For fuck’s sake, what if something had happened and he’d missed the call from the hospital? Was his phone even charged? How could he be such a shitty friend that he’d let himself sleep for an absurd amount of time when Genma could be fucking _dead_?

Turning the shower knob off with so much force that he nearly tore it off the wall, Kakashi made his way out of the box and started drying himself as quickly as he could. He was making a mess and he knew it but he just didn’t care right then. He needed to get to the hospital, and he needed to get there _fast_.

The first thing he did after leaving the bathroom with his towel wrapped around his hips was check his phone, only to find out it’d indeed died sometime during the night.

“Fuck,” he cursed, eyes closing as he let his head lean back up to the ceiling.

“‘kashi?” came Sakura’s groggy voice from the end of his studio.

Turning around to face her, Kakashi’s heart clenched at the sight of her sitting up on his bed, her pink hair tousled from sleep as she slowly rubbed her eyes.

“You ‘k?” she asked after he didn’t say anything, clearly fighting to keep her eyes open as she lowered her hands from her face and losing the battle as her eyes slid closed again.

“Go back to sleep, Sakura,” Kakashi said lowly as he approached her, eyebrows drawing together at how fucking _adorable_ she looked all sleepy and puffed.

She must have been really tired since it only took a little bit of incomprehensible protest before she followed his lead to settle back on the bed and fell asleep again. Smiling softly to himself despite the anxiety and disappointment constricting his chest, Kakashi turned to his wardrobe and got some workout clothes out of it.

He was ready five minutes later, turning off the bathroom light after walking out of it clothed in running shorts and a short-sleeved workout shirt. After grabbing his phone, charger, and wallet, he searched around his studio for a while until he found a pen. The note he then wrote to Sakura told her to eat whatever she wanted when she woke up and that she was free to shower if she wanted to—also telling her where to find the towels. After putting food in Pakkun’s doggie tray, Kakashi left the studio.

He ran to the hospital. Kakashi knew it was still too early for the visitation hours to start but he had to be there as soon as he could. The wind rushing past his face as he ran down the streets of Konoha helped in sharpening his mind better than the cold shower had, and Kakashi embraced the endorphins that he really fucking needed right then.

He hadn’t checked the clock at all, neither when he left nor when he arrived at his destination, but when he walked through the hospital doors and walked over to the check-in desk, visitation hours still hadn’t started. The receptionist took his information anyway and handed Kakashi the sticker that would grant him access to the ICU, and he stuck it to the front of his shirt before walking away to the elevator. He’d wait in front of the fucking doors until they let him in or kicked him out.

He didn’t know how long it took until 9 am arrived but it was excruciating nonetheless. Kakashi did his very best to keep his eyes stuck on the floor, shielding his mind from falling into the usual rabbit hole it always fell into when he found himself in a hospital surrounded by that horrible sterile stench and _waited_. 

It wasn’t long before Kakashi’s mind found a way to focus on the next thing he really, _really_ didn’t want to think about. Just the memory of Minato’s blond eyebrows furrowed condescendingly as he tried to lecture Kakashi on how Sakura was just a kid and that he should be focusing on women his own age made his blood boil with anger, and he once again tried to convince himself he’d done the right thing by just turning around and walking away before he said or did anything that would actually do some real, concrete damage to their relationship.

He saw where Minato was coming from, he really did. Ever since they met fifteen years before, Minato had taken Kakashi, Rin, and Obito under his wings. It wasn’t long before he started acting more like an older brother than an actual superior to them, and that was only with a ten-year age gap between Minato and Kakashi. He understood why the man found it weird to now see Kakashi involved with not only someone fourteen years younger than him, but also someone who was one of Naruto’s best friends and old childhood crush.

Kakashi really did understand where he came from. But that did not give Minato the right to say _anything_ about it. Especially when the blond had judged the moment after telling Kakashi the circumstances of Genma’s injury as the perfect one to start shitting on what he had with Sakura, which was undoubtedly the best thing that’d ever happened to Kakashi.

No, he wouldn't have that.

They thankfully let the visitors into the ICU before Kakashi could linger any further on it, and he gladly pushed it all away to find his friend. Kakashi wasn’t the only one visiting that morning, but he was the only one who was alone.

Genma’s bed was almost at the end of the corridor, and Kakashi nearly collapsed in relief at finally, _finally_ seeing his friend. The sight of him lying there looking up at the IV dropping some fluid into his veins with literal _tubes_ attached to his chest was almost enough to throw Kakashi into a loop again, but then Genma noticed his presence and looked over at him.

It was that cheeky, shitty smirk that did it for Kakashi.

Genma was fine. Somehow, he really was.

“Of course yours is the first fucking face I see,” he said, shaking his head at Kakashi. “Where’s the button to bring the hot nurse back?”

“You _fucking_ idiot,” Kakashi let out, his heart clenching in his chest. “Don’t you fucking do that again, you hear me?”

“Do what? Get shot?” Genma raised both eyebrows at Kakashi. “Ok, sure, I’ll ask the guy to refrain from doing so next time it happens.”

Unable to fight against a smile regardless of how pissed he was at Genma’s ability to be shitty as usual the next day after a major surgery, Kakashi took the seat next to his friend’s bed and leaned forwards to rest his elbows on his knees.

“You scared me, mate,” he confessed after a few seconds of silence.

“You really think you’ll get rid of me this easy?” Genma smirked, although his brown eyes were soft as he looked at Kakashi. “Nah, mate, you’re stuck with me for a long time.”

“Good.”

Genma went as far as opening his mouth to say something when he started coughing, his face scrunching in pain as he tried to stop it.

“Do you want me to call anyone?” Kakashi asked, on his way from getting up from his seat.

“Nah.” Genma shook his head. It took a few seconds for him to clear his throat before smirking again, albeit shakily. “I’m good, I’m good. So, distract me. What’d I miss?”

Kakashi leaned back on his seat, slouching as his eyes focused on the partition sheet separating them from the next patient. He knew what it was like not wanting to talk about it more than anyone, so he knew it was his duty now to keep Genma entertained enough that he might stop thinking about what’d just happened to him if only for a little while.

“Remember the Associate Director for Military Support position I turned down years ago?” Kakashi started. “It’s open again and they want me. Again.”

Genma had a deadpanned look on his face as he looked at Kakashi for a few seconds until he finally reacted.

“Holy _shit_ , Kakashi! You took it, didn’t you? For fuck’s sake if you turned it down agai—”

“I took it.”

A relieved grin took over Genma’s face as he let out a bark of a laugh that resulted in a few more coughs out of him.

“Thank _fuck_ ,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief as he cleared his throat. “Only took you eight years, mate.”

Kakashi hummed at that, unable to stop himself from smirking at his friend. Genma went as far as opening his mouth to say something when a nurse appeared through the partition sheet with a clipboard clutched in her hands.

“How we doing here?” she asked as her eyes studied Genma’s chest.

“ _Fantastic_. Even better now,” he replied with a cheeky grin splattered on his face. “Any idea how long I’ll be here?”

“You’re doing well enough, you’ll probably be moved to a private room tonight,” the nurse answered with a sly smile on her face. “Unless there’s complications.”

“Hmhmm,” Genma nodded. “Ok, ok. I can live with that.”

Genma kept shamelessly flirting with the nurse, who answered as professionally as she possibly could while clearly blushing and trying to smother a smile. _This_ was only after a few hours of him being stuck in bed. Kakashi really didn’t want to witness a stir-crazy Genma and he honestly pitied the hospital staff that would need to handle him.

Kakashi took advantage of the minutes the nurse spent there checking up on Genma to start looking for a plug he could connect his phone to, and was pleased to find one on the wall right next to his chair. Not bothering to stand up, Kakashi leaned sideways out of his chair and plugged his charger into the wall right before connecting the other end to his phone. After a few seconds of deliberation, he balanced the phone on top of his charger so that it wouldn’t sit on the floor and straightened himself on his seat just as the nurse left to carry on with her rounds.

“You really find women anywhere you go, don’t you?” Kakashi asked, chuckling at his friend as he resumed his slouched position. “You have literal tubes coming out of your chest, I honestly don’t know how you do it.”

“Great powers come with great responsibilities, my friend,” Genma faked a pained look in his face until he cracked an eye open and raised an eyebrow at Kakashi. “Now, since you brought it up….”

Kakashi blinked slowly at his friend, doing his best to act as if he had no idea what he was talking about.

“Fuck’s sake, Bakashi.” Genma rolled his eyes. “How _is_ she? How’s it going? Still with that waiting for sex bullshit? How was _the talk_?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t text her,” Kakashi pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest as he raised an eyebrow at Genma.

“ _What_? I texted Sakura _once_!” Genma exclaimed. “No, scratch that, she texted _me_! To ask about _your_ birthday, you fucker. I tried to ask her how it was going but she cut me off, can you believe that?”

“She does have brains, Genma,” Kakashi pointed out as he found himself incapable of stopping himself from smiling.

Genma huffed at that before impatiently waving a hand at Kakashi. “ _Tell me_ , you asshole!”

“The talk was good,” Kakashi gave him. “We’re ok. Still waiting for graduation... Kinda failing at that, though, now that I think about it.”

The comical way Genma’s eyes widened made Kakashi snort as he rolled his eyes.

“Fuck’s sake,” he groaned under his breath. “Nothing’s happened since the bench. But yeah, I guess we’re spending a lot of time together and not really hiding it as much as we should be. Asuma and Kurenai know.”

“They _know_?”

Kakashi hummed, nodding at his friend. “I know they suspected since you left, but yeah, yesterday I kinda made it obvious. They didn’t say anything, though.”

“Holy fuck,” Genma looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds before grinning. “Tenzou and Gai?”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “No fucking way. _Don’t_ tell them.”

“Fine, fine.” Genma rolled his eyes. “What else? You’re hiding something.”

Kakashi gave Genma one of his most unimpressed stares at that, set on staying silent until his friend changed his mind and changed the subject. Genma was obviously immune to Kakashi’s ways at this point, though, since all he did was start obnoxiously pressing the button that moved the seat of his hospital bed up and down repeatedly until Kakashi grew irritated enough to speak.

“We slept together last night.”

“ _What_!” Genma spluttered and for a second Kakashi feared he’d fuck up one of the tubes hanging from his chest. “ _Holy shit_!”

“Yo, assface, quit that,” Kakashi said as he willed Genma to settle back down. “We fell asleep together after I had a PTSD episode.”

That did the trick. This was one of the rare times in Kakashi’s life that he’d actually seen his friend speechless, and he basked in the feeling for a few seconds while Genma figured out what to say.

“Holy fuck.”

Kakashi hummed in return, his eyes fixed on the vitals on the screen next to Genma’s bed.

“I’m sorry, Bakashi.”

“Are you stupid?” Kakashi frowned at him. “Who the fuck apologises for being shot?”

“I’m apologising for triggering that shit for you.” Genma shook his head. “Shit, mate, I…”

“Genma,” Kakashi interrupted, fixing his friend with a hard stare. “Stop.”

A few seconds went by in which all Genma did was look back at Kakashi until he nodded his understanding.

“Back to Pink then.”

Kakashi groaned, letting his head fall forward as he leaned forward once again to rest his elbows on his knees.

“Wait, _holy fuck_ ,” Genma started trying to sit down and when he couldn’t, he furiously pressed the button to elevate the back of his bed. “She _saw_ it? And she’s still alive to tell the tale? Oh fuck, you didn’t kill her, did you?”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that.”

“She _saw_ it, Bakashi?” Genma pressed.

Kakashi didn’t answer that. Instead, his eyes moved to the partition sheet again, set on remaining silent until the subject changed. For fuck's sake, why hadn't he brought one of his Icha Icha with him?

“You actually wanted her there, didn’t you?” Genma asked after a few seconds of silence.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him, moving his eyes to watch his friend again.

“ _Hoooly_ fuck,” Genma stated as a smirk started spreading on his face only to be replaced by a ridiculous pout mid-way. “Wait. You said you guys slept together, why the fuck isn’t she here to see me?” 

“Sakura was here all day long yesterday,” Kakashi said in her defence. “And she was gonna spend the night here with me but then we got to my place and shit happened. She tried waking up today but I sneaked out to let her sleep.”

“Ok, cool,” Genma grinned, clearly happy over all the attention he was bound to receive for the foreseeable future. “Hospital date, that’s _adorable_. You’re very welcome.”

“Are you saying I should thank you for being shot?”

“Of course. Gave you guys a hell of an adrenaline rush, didn’t I? Shame you guys didn’t have ‘we’re-so-happy-Genma’s-alive’ sex.”

“I hate you,” Kakashi stated, fixing Genma with one of his dirtiest looks which, of course, didn’t affect him at all.

“On a scale of one to Bakashi, how bad are you freaking out that she saw the PTSD episode?”

“Fuck you.”

“Oh, no, no, scratch that!” Genma waved a hand in the air as he barked out a burst of obnoxious laughter. “How bad are you freaking out that _you_ wanted her there?”

At this point Kakashi should be well aware his intimidating glares didn’t work on Genma, and once again he was filled with irritation as that stupid cheeky smirk took over his friend’s face after a few seconds of silence.

“ _Bakashi_ level freak-out, then.”

“Stop using my name to measure shit like that.”

“Works, doesn’t it?” Genma smirked even more. “Ok, come on. I don’t have to tell you not to push her away, do I?”

Kakashi leaned back down on his seat once again, crossing his right leg over his left one and resting his ankle on his knee.

“I’m gonna call the nurse to sedate you.”

“I’ll haunt your dreams if you do.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Genma chuckled at that and used a hand to push his bangs off his eyes. “Fuck’s sake, where’s my damned bandana?”

“I can ask a nurse to wrap gauze on your head if you want. Maybe if I give her a five she’ll wrap your mouth too.”

“Hm…” Genma looked up at the ceiling as he thought. “About that… do you think a head injury would score more points with chicks than being shot?”

For a few seconds all Kakashi did was stare at Genma, unable to believe he was actually saying this unbelievable amount of shit, before stating the obvious: 

“You were dropped a lot as a child, weren’t you?”

Genma let out a bark of laughter at that, which resulted in coughing again.

“Back to Pink, back to Pink!” The brunet waved a hand around, clearly annoyed he’d gotten off track there.

“Please don’t,” Kakashi groaned.

“ _Don’t_ push her away, fucker! That’s my point. It’s ok to be scared but just don’t Kakashi this shit up.”

How the fuck could he possibly tell Genma that even though he really wanted to run as fast as he possibly could from what’d happened the day before, that he was fucking _terrified_ of how much he’d learned to have Sakura by his side and what that _meant_ , he also knew he just didn’t want to imagine a future for himself without her there anymore.

How the fuck could Kakashi tell Genma that _that_ scared him more than anything else ever had before?

Even though Kakashi had never had a relationship before, he’d always assumed that if he ever did, it would’ve been built on physicality. It made sense to assume that since the physical parts of everything was what Kakashi _knew_. Still, somehow, he found himself learning what intimacy meant with Sakura in ways that didn’t involve any of that at all.

He found himself yearning for the head massages she gave him almost as much as he wanted to pull her close and kiss those soft lips of hers. Those stolen moments they found themselves holding hands gave his stomach stupid _butterflies_ , as ridiculous as it sounds, that not even the wildest sex he had ever had in his life managed to.

Of course, he was still dying to finally be able to have his way with her, but Kakashi knew that as soon as they were able to add sex to everything it would just complete the package.

And for fuck’s sake, he _wanted_ that full package. He wanted every moment he could have with her. He wanted to walk into his studio and feel _her_ scent ingrained in the space he’d always prided himself on being _his_. He wanted to wake up tangled in her again, having that cute as fuck snort of hers bring him to consciousness. _Fuck_ he wanted to cook more meals with her on a lazy Sunday just as much as he wanted to be able to _finally_ put his mouth between her legs when they were done.

“I’ll take that introspective silence as a good sign this once, k?” Genma pointed out. “Even though I know any time you use that fucking brain of yours you find a way to sabotage yourself.”

“I do no such thing.” Kakashi fought back, frowning at Genma.

“Hm,” he looked sceptically at Kakashi. “Just try not to fuck this up, for all of our sakes.”

“You are literally the fucking worst.”

“You know what? Good thing I’m back. If you do at least I’ll be here to fix your shit.”

Before Kakashi could answer that, he was interrupted by Asuma’s voice coming from right around the partition sheet. “Well, if you’re finding the willpower to swear three times since I walked through those doors back there, I think it’s safe to assume you’re doing well.”

“ _Heey~_ , fucker!” Genma beamed at their friend who was now standing at the foot of his bed.

Kakashi nodded at Asuma in acknowledgement as he leaned back in his seat, unable to stop himself from smiling. “Yo.”

“Morning,” Asuma greeted him, both eyebrows raised suggestively in his forehead. “Where’s Sakura?”

“Minding her business.” Kakashi shot back.

“Fuck’s sake.” Genma rolled his eyes. “Do you get off on being a shitty asshole? Asuma’s cool, man, what the fuck.”

Kakashi hummed at that, knowing Asuma wasn’t offended by the grin splattered in his face.

“How you doing, Genma?” Their bearded friend turned to Genma, both eyebrows furrowed in sudden seriousness.

“Spectacular,” Genma smirked. “For real, though. The painkillers are great, the nurses are hot, I’ve got no complaints.”

“Really?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him. “Not even about those staples in your chest?”

“Of course not, they make me look badass. Not everyone has the luck of having a sexy scar right on their face, Bakashi, but at least I’ll have this now.”

Both Kakashi and Asuma chuckled at that. Kakashi could see Asuma was about to ask the natural next thing—what’d happened to Genma in the first place—so he shook his head curtly to stop him. Thankfully, Asuma took the cue and gave Kakashi a nod in understanding.

“Where’s Kurenai?” Kakashi asked his friend to keep the conversation going.

“Outside. Only two can be here at the same time.”

“Ah, I can go,” Kakashi offered as he moved to stand up, but Asuma shook his head and stopped him from doing so.

“No need, mate, we’ll switch. Also, I lost the bet so I’m the one who has to get information on a certain pink-haired someone.”

“ _He he_ ,” Genma crackled from his bed as Kakashi let his head fall forward again.

“What’s up, mate?” Asuma asked, wasting no time. “I mean, we’re happy for you and all, but… I mean, you know what I’m talking about.”

“Hm.” Kakashi raised his face to look up at him. He knew this conversation would need to happen at some point—hell, he’d been avoiding it since that dinner at Asuma and Kurenai’s place—so maybe it was better to just get it over with. “We’re waiting. Until next month.”

“... _Are_ you?” Asuma asked after a few seconds of silence. “Didn’t seem like it, mate.”

“ _Yeah_ , we are,” Kakashi pressed. “We spend time together but that’s it. Yesterday was different.”

Asuma nodded at that, sharing a look with Genma for a few seconds before moving on.

“Ok… well, good news is that I’m pretty sure Tenzou and Gai didn’t notice anything.”

“I know they didn’t.” Kakashi nodded. “Would’ve been giving me shit until now if they had.”

“Come on, Bakashi,” Genma intervened. “You don’t know that.”

Kakashi’s answer consisted of a pointed glare before he spoke. “No telling them.”

Both of his friends nodded in understanding of that, which soothed Kakashi’s nerves at least a little bit regardless of their hesitation.

“Well, we’re happy for you.” Asuma nodded, a grin taking form in his face. “Finally, huh, mate? Kurenai’s freaking out.”

“Is she?” Kakashi chuckled. “No more than Genma, I’m sure.”

“I know you’re trying to offend me, jackass, but it’s not working,” Genma said before Asuma could answer. “Also! I’m taking this opportunity to claim my rightful spot as best man at the wedding. Since I made it all happen and stuff, it’s only fair.”

Kakashi didn’t even have the strength to react anymore as Asuma snorted and just sent him a deadpanned look as he indicated Genma with one hand. “I’ve been putting up with this crap for months now.”

“It’s fair enough, though,” Asuma agreed with a smirk on his face and then looked over at Genma. “You invited her for your goodbye thing because of this, didn’t you?” 

“Of course,” Genma confessed, a shit-eating grin taking form in his face. “And Kakashi _still_ hasn’t thanked me for it.”

“The fuck would I thank you for, idiot?” Kakashi frowned.

“Uh, the fucking _make-out session_ on the fucking _street bench_?” Genma pressed, stealing booming laughter from Asuma which he quickly smothered to respect the other visitors. “How _dare_ you, Bakashi? Got to act like a fucking teenager at thirty-five and you don’t think I deserve a fucking thank you?”

“I _knew_ something happened that night,” Asuma added before Kakashi said anything, shaking his head in amusement while sporting a matching grin. “On a _bench_ , mate? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’d actually like to know,” Kakashi said at the same time that Genma let out a long and disgusting “ _Hot_ ~, isn’t it?”

As much as he wanted to smother Genma with his pillow right then, Kakashi actually found himself chuckling along with his friends. His buzzing phone made him lean out of his seat to check it from where it was charging, and his chuckle changed to a soft smile as he read the message on his locked screen.

Sakura: Why didn’t you wake me up!

Before he could even think about unlocking his phone after unplugging it and settling back on his seat, it buzzed again as another message arrived.

Sakura: Are you in the hospital? Is Genma ok? Did y…

Kakashi unlocked his phone then, aware that Genma and Asuma had started another conversation on their own as they realised he wouldn’t be joining now, and read the full message he hadn’t been able to read on the locked screen.

_Are you in the hospital? Is Genma ok? Did you eat before you left?_

_Yes, yes, and no. But it’s fine, wasn’t hungry. Sleep well?_

_Eat something!!!!_

Kakashi smiled at that and waited for Sakura to finish typing another message.

_Slept very well, thank you. Wish I’d gotten to wake up with you, though_

_You almost did. You look really cute when you can’t even open your eyes_

_Oh god_

_Why_

A snort escaped Kakashi at that, and he was just about to type an answer of his own when the three dots showed up on his screen, making him decide to wait to see what she’d say.

_Are you with Genma now?_

_Yeah. One step away from asking for more sedatives for him_

_Good sign! Can you ask him if it’s ok for me to go by soon?_

“Sakura’s asking if she can come by in a while.”

“ _Pink_!” Genma cheered, smiling excitedly at Kakashi. “Of fucking course she can. I’m offended she’s asking.”

_He says “of fucking course she can” and that he’s offended you’re asking_

_Tell him some people do their best to be polite_

“She says some people do their best to be polite.”

“Ah, I _missed_ her sass,” Genma smiled up at him and then Asuma.

_He says he missed your sass_

_Ahh I see why you want to sedate him_

Kakashi snorted at that, earning a curious glance from Genma. “What’d she say?”

“Hm?” Kakashi raised his eyes to send him a confused look, well aware it’d kill him not to know.

Genma had just started pressing for answers when Kakashi’s phone buzzed again, making him look down.

_Want me to walk Pakkun?_

_I’m sure he’d love that_

_Ok :) where’s his leash?_

After telling her she’d find it in the room with the washing machine, Kakashi smiled down at his screen. How could he possibly push Sakura away when she made him feel like that?

Pakkun would never forgive him either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: graphic depiction of PTSD episode
> 
> ...
> 
> HEEEEEEEE ISSSSSSS BAAAAACK AAAAAHHHHHHH
> 
> you guys have NO fucking idea how happy I am AHAHAHAH I missed this fucker so so much, honestly, I have no WORDS to describe it! you guys better buckle the fuck up from now on bc he isn't going ANYWHERE! there'll be lots of Genma content ahead of us ehehe
> 
> You guys are seriously fucking AMAZING. thank you so so much for all the support you've been showing this story and me! it honestly means the world to me, and knowing you guys are enjoying this story really motivated me to keep going! I love each and every one of you <3
> 
> see you guys soon, hope you liked the chapter, and stay safe!
> 
> -A


	25. eight days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos to anyone who recognises the The Office reference I snuck in there ;)

It took longer for Sakura to get to the hospital than she’d expected. Checking her wristwatch as she walked in through the automatic sliding doors into the sterile environment of the hospital entrance, she groaned at the realisation that it was almost midday.

It was the balloon’s fault.

Her walk with Pakkun had gone really well, as was expected, and even with only walking him around the block it hadn’t taken more than twenty minutes until they were back in Kakashi’s studio. Sakura took a quick shower then, and yy the time she prepared herself a quick breakfast, it was a little over ten in the morning. But then the search for the perfect balloon started.

She couldn’t just give Genma a generic, ‘get well soon’ balloon. Sakura knew it, and she would rather show up empty-handed than give him something as mainstream as that. So she sat on the stools by Kakashi’s kitchen island for nearly an hour, browsing her phone for any store in Konoha that could possibly have funny balloons that would serve the purpose she hoped they would.

And then she found it. The shitty part of it, though, was that it was on the opposite side of the city.

Sakura went through with it, though. Even while wearing the sweatpants, sweater, and flip flops she’d meant to spend the night at the hospital with, she took a bus that took forty-five minutes to drop her off at the shopping mall. They thankfully still had the balloon in stock, and she walked out of the mall with a gigantic blue one already filled with helium, ignoring all of the weird stares she was getting.

Oh, Genma would _love_ it.

The hospital was fuller than it’d been the day before, but it still didn’t take long for the check-in receptionist to hand Sakura her visitor sticker, and this time she stuck it to the front of her sweater with no hesitation. She followed the directions to the ICU, rearranging the straps of her backpack as she went, and was only mildly surprised to see Kurenai, Asuma, and Professor Yamato standing in front of the restricted area’s entrance.

“ _There_ she is,” Asuma said as soon as he spotted her, still a few steps away. “Got lost?”

“Something like that,” Sakura smiled as Kurenai and Professor Yamato turned to stare at her, the latter significantly more surprised and confused than the former.

“Can’t believe you brought a balloon and we didn’t,” Kurenai noted as she leaned to the side, trying to read what it said. Sakura pulled on the string for the balloon to turn, making it easier for the woman to read it, and couldn’t help but smile in pride at the laughter she received after Kurenai was done. “Oh, god, he’ll _never_ shut up about that,” the dark-haired woman chuckled as Asuma and Professor Yamato moved to read the balloon.

“Holy fuck, where did you _get_ that?” Asuma asked after letting out one of his booming laughters.

“It’s from a new store in the mall,” Sakura explained. “They have t-shirts, mugs, all this kinda shit with similar sentences.”

“Don’t _ever_ tell Genma where it is,” Professor Yamato begged, his eyes widening at her. “We’d never get a decent birthday present from him ever again.”

“As if we ever do,” Asuma noted, earning a snort from his wife and a chuckle from Sakura’s professor.

“How is he, by the way?” Sakura asked, her eyes trailing off to the entrance to the ICU.

“He’s great,” Professor Yamato answered. “Gai and Kakashi are in there right now, but you can go in as soon as one of them leaves. It’s probably gonna be Gai, I promised I’d let him drag me to a parkour class today and it won’t be long until it starts.”

Sakura smirked as Asuma and Kurenai immediately started questioning Professor Yamato on this parkour class and took the opportunity to try to kill the anxiety that had been threatening to burst in her chest the closer to seeing Kakashi she got. She wasn’t sure how he would react that morning after what she’d witnessed the night before, and waking up to an empty studio definitely made her freak out a little bit there.

Thankfully, the messages they’d exchanged earlier that morning had been normal enough that Sakura knew she could stop fearing the worst. Still, she knew she’d only really accept everything was fine between her and Kakashi after she got to see him.

“Blossom!” came Gai’s thunderous voice from the ICU’s entrance, pulling all of their attention towards him. “Genma was wondering where you were. And you brought a balloon! How youthful of you.”

“Good morning, Gai.” Sakura was completely unable to stop herself from smiling at the man, especially after his eyes widened and he let out a booming laughter after reading the words printed on the huge balloon.

“Ha, our friend will _love_ that!” Gai affirmed as he shook his head in delight right before sending her a thumbs up. “Very funny of you, Blossom, I fully approve.”

“That’s great to know, Gai, thanks,” Sakura giggled, her eyes moving to the door once again before she turned to Kakashi’s friends again. “I’m gonna head inside then, guys. Professor, Gai, I hope you have a great class.”

Sakura walked away smothering down a smile at the sight of Professor Yamato’s hopeless stare as Gai started enthusiastically going off about the benefits of parkour to the body and how much more in touch with his youth he’s been since he’d started it. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to continue hearing any of it as soon as she walked through the ICU doors.

 _But_ she could hear Genma’s voice saying some kind of nonsense about how he ‘wished he had a button like that in real life’.

Sakura did _not_ want to know what button he was talking about, and she stepped around the partition sheet his voice was coming from before he could clarify, being careful to keep the balloon hidden from view.

“How come they didn’t sedate you yet?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“ _Pink_!” Genma cheered, making Sakura completely incapable of stopping herself from smiling at the delighted surprise in his face. “Took you long enough, what the fuck!”

“Sorry, sorry, had some errands to run.” Sakura waved her free hand in the air as she moved her eyes to where Kakashi sat by Genma’s bed.

Any ounce of anxiety that had been sitting in her chest that entire morning vanished at the sight of the soft smile he had on his face as he looked at her right then. Smiling back at him, Sakura allowed herself to feel the relief that wanted to take over her.

Everything was really ok.

“Ok, come on, if you don’t want me to freak out about this let’s please stop with the eye-fucking.” Genma intervened, looking pointedly between Sakura and Kakashi.

“Maa, you think _that_ was us eye-fucking?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow at his friend, earning a snort from Sakura which quickly turned into a rush of blood up her face as he winked at her.

“Well, do you guys really wanna introduce the topic?” Genma asked, pushing a button that raised the back of his bed a little bit higher as he prepared to speak. “Because I have many, many things to say to the two of you lame-ass fuckers who are not taking advantage of the _amazing_ oppor—”

“I brought you something!” Sakura interrupted before Genma could go any longer, finally revealing the balloon to him and Kakashi.

The sight of Genma’s eyes widening in its sockets as he processed the sight of it was enough to make Sakura smile. She had already realised Kakashi was a hell of a fast reader, so he was already snorting and shaking his head incredulously at Sakura by the time Genma squinted his eyes as he read the words stamped in the obnoxiously big balloon.

_THANK FUCK YOU’RE STILL ALIVE, JACKASS_

As Sakura’d expected, Genma absolutely _lost_ his shit, and she couldn’t help but laugh along with him. When his laughter turned into uncontrollable coughing, though, she wondered if she would actually send Genma to an early grave because of that stupid balloon.

“ _Fuck’s_ sake, Genma, we’re gonna get kicked out,” Kakashi groaned, completely unfazed by the coughing spree at the same time that Sakura instinctively turned around to call the nurse on call.

The woman was already on her way to Genma’s bed, though, and Sakura was quick to step out of her way, ending up standing right next to where Kakashi sat. It was impossible for her not to notice the scowl the nurse sent Genma and Kakashi as she started checking the former’s tubes and vitals, and Sakura had to fight against a smile even though she could only imagine how irritating it must be to be responsible for rowdy patients.

“Morning,” came Kakashi’s low voice from her side.

Sakura turned her head to look down at him. “Morning,” she smiled, her tone low as the nurse told Genma he really needed to keep it down. 

Before Sakura had even processed it, she was moving her fingers to brush through Kakashi’s hair.

“ _Ahh_!” Genma let out a strangled exclamation as he looked at the two of them, earning a huff from the nurse in return. “ _You_ guys! Adorable!”

“Can you sedate him?” Kakashi addressed the nurse, his face so deadly serious Sakura couldn’t help but chuckle even as she drew her hand away from him.

“I’m actually considering it,” the nurse answered back, writing something down on her notepad. “I’ll see if we can move him to a private room earlier than we’d planned.”

“Sedation might be preferable,” Kakashi shot back but received no answer from the nurse, who turned around and walked away.

“I can win her back,” Genma announced after she left.

“Let me know before you try anything so I can leave and spare myself.” Kakashi slouched back on his chair before turning his head up to address Sakura. “Wanna sit here?”

Sakura looked down at him again as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Sure.” She shrugged, already lowering her backpack to the floor. She then walked around Kakashi so she could accept his offer—quite literally.

“Oh, come _on_!” Genma’s mouth dropped open as Sakura settled herself sideways on Kakashi’s lap, her right arm going instinctively over his shoulders as soon as she did. “How am I supposed to not say anything to _that_?”

“Here, have your balloon.” Sakura leaned forward and handed Genma the string as if he was a little kid she wanted to keep distracted, and the scowl on his face as he took it from her showed he clearly noticed too.

“Not exactly what I meant, but not complaining,” Kakashi chuckled lowly in her ear as she settled back on his lap, his left hand finding its place on her hip while his right one casually rested on top of her left thigh.

Sakura sent him a coy smile before giving him a peck on the cheek but was interrupted by the sound of Genma smirking before she could actually say anything.

“Don’t think I won’t smother you with that pillow if you say anything,” Kakashi warned, moving his eyes to glare at his friend.

“You should know by now I’m above the need of using words to express myself, Bakashi,” Genma noted before he tugged on the balloon string he held in his hand, his eyes widening as he moved his attention to Sakura. “Now, Pink! Where the hell did you get this piece of art?”

“I’m actually not allowed to tell you,” Sakura said, unable to stop herself from smiling at his giddy expression as looked up at it.

“Tenzou?” Kakashi asked.

Before she could answer, Genma was extending one arm in her direction with the balloon, clearly expecting her to tie it to him.

“Yup.” Sakura nodded as she accepted Genma’s silent request and leaned forward to tie the string around his wrist, disentangling her arm from around Kakashi’s shoulders to do so. “It’s a store that has this kind of shit, like t-shirts, mugs, stuff like that. The sentences vary, of course, but it’s a pretty cool collection I saw there today.”

“What the fuck!” Genma protested as he pulled his now balloon-adorned arm back and Sakura settled back into Kakashi’s arms. “Why the hell would Tenzou bitch about this? Can you imagine the gifts I’d be able to get your guys!”

“Hm, pretty sure we all can.” Kakashi nodded. “Also sure that’s Tenzou’s worst nightmare.”

“ _Everyone_ has a price,” Genma moved his eyes to stare pointedly at Sakura. “Name yours, Pink.”

“ _That’s_ interesting.” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll let you know.”

Satisfied with her answer, Genma settled back on his bed and moved on to the next best subject—what he’d do with his free time now. When Sakura had first walked into the hospital, she hadn’t meant to stay for too long. Time flew by really quickly, though, with the three of them talking shit and actually having fun in the ICU—with Sakura from time to time scolding Genma to be mindful of the other patients. A while later, Sakura decided to appease her aching ass and went around looking for a chair of her own, which made her sadder to leave Kakashi’s lap than she probably should have been.

By the time the nurse came back to tell them the visitation hours were wrapping up in ten minutes, Sakura actually felt a little bit disoriented trying to grasp the fact that she’d been there for a few hours. 

“He’s being moved to a room tonight, right?” Kakashi addressed the nurse before she could walk away.

“Yes,” she answered, her eyes studying Genma before moving back to Kakashi. “He’ll be fully settled by six pm. One person can spend the nights with him, so you can either come back by that time or you can wait in the waiting room.”

“Mate, you don’t hav—” Genma started protesting, but Kakashi interrupted him as he thanked the nurse, who turned around and walked away.

“I’m not leaving you alone here.” He turned his head to face his friend, making Sakura’s heart actually clenche inside her chest from the blatant show of loyalty she was witnessing.

“You should go home and then come back,” Sakura intervened before Genma could say anything. “Bring a bag, shower, stuff like that.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Kakashi nodded at her. “We can split a cab if you want.”

“Sounds good,” Sakura smiled at him, bending down to pick up her backpack from the floor when a thought struck her. “Genma, how long are you staying in the hospital?”

“They told me it’d be around a week,” he answered, moving his wrist absentmindedly up and down to move the balloon.

Sakura turned her head to Kakashi. “Do you want Pakkun to stay with me so you can stay here with Genma the whole week?”

He didn’t answer for the first few seconds, instead just stared at Sakura with his both eyebrows slightly raised on his forehead. As he opened his mouth to answer, though, Genma mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “ _spawn of the devil_ ” under his breath and ended up stealing snorts from both Sakura and Kakashi.

“He’s a fucking pug, you moron.” Kakashi shook his head at his friend before focusing on Sakura again. “You sure? You don’t have to do this.”

“Are you kidding?” Sakura raised her eyebrows at him. “I’d love to! I’ll be buried in thesis work this week, it’ll be nice to have the company.”

“I’m sure he’ll love that,” Kakashi smiled, his charcoal eyes incredibly soft as he looked at her. “Thank you.”

“I’d sleep with my eyes open this week if I were you, Pink,” Genma stepped in before Sakura could answer, making her roll her eyes at him.

Sakura stood up and went as far as opening her mouth to answer when she remembered something she hadn’t thought of for over a month, and her lips instantly spread in a smile. “Hey, Genma. What is it that you were gonna say at Ichiraku’s?”

It took a second until either of the men there remembered what she was talking about, and both of their reactions as soon as they realised were comically different. Kakashi groaned and begged Sakura to “stop encouraging him”—his exact words—while Genma started crackling like a maniac.

“See, Bakashi!” Genma pointed a finger at him. “This is _karma_! You thought I’d only be back in like a year or so and now I’m here to bite you in the ass!”

“You’re a fucking moron.” Kakashi pressed the bridge of his nose, still sitting down on the chair.

“Do you know what he was gonna say?” Sakura asked, looking down at him.

“No, but I know his standards.”

Sakura turned her head to face Genma again, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

“ _Eh_ ~, you fucking asshole,” Genma scowled at Kakashi. “It’s cute, ok! Ok, so, I remember Pink said something that made you laugh your ass off, don’t remember what it was, bu—”

“She said it was impossible to make a drink nasty enough that it could be named after you,” Kakashi chimed in, chuckling at the memory and stealing a snort from Sakura.

“Oh, _that_ you remember.” Genma glared at him. “Asshole. Anyway, for _some_ reason you laughed at that, and it was just really cute, you know? I was gonna say I’ve known you for like twenty years and I’ve rarely seen you laugh like that, but that I could see how happy you are around her. And that _that’s_ why I’m the captain of this fucking ship.”

“ _Ship_?” Kakashi scowled at his friend while Sakura placed a hand in front of her mouth to hide the crazy beam she had on her lips. “What are you, _twelve_?”

“It’s how young people speak, asshole,” Genma shot back. “Not that _you’d_ know that, obviously.”

Sakura completely lost her shit at that and it took an absurd amount of effort to stifle her laughter out of respect for the other patients, and she ended up having to walk away before hearing Kakashi’s comeback to that.

She still had a crazy beam playing on her lips as she stepped out of the ICU, though, only then starting to accept what’d just happened in there. Did it warm her heart that Kakashi had chosen to comment on Genma’s choice of words over the fact that he’d said what he actually said? _Yes_. 

So much that it hurt, in the best possible way.

.

.

.

Two hours later, Sakura pressed the buzzer button to let Kakashi into her building. After leaving the door thrown open for him, Sakura went back to her bathroom and finished brushing her post-shower damp hair.

“Were you kidnapped?” came Kakashi’s voice from the entrance, earning a chuckle from Sakura in return as the sound of the front door closing echoed through the apartment.

“Yeah,” she called back, setting the brush on the sink counter and making her way to meet Kakashi and her new roomie for the week ahead.

“Very realistic clone they left behind,” Kakashi noted as she walked out of her bedroom into her living room, his eyes slowly taking in the sight of her in her pyjama shorts and tank top. He then addressed the pug he still held in one hand. “Do you have _any_ idea how lucky you are?”

Sakura giggled at that, appreciating the sight of Kakashi in sweatpants and a hoodie as much as she always did. He had two gym bags clutched in his other hand, one clearly fuller than the other, and Sakura was one hundred per cent sure she knew which one he’d be taking to the hospital with him and which one belonged to his dog.

It was how Kakashi still hadn’t let go of Pakkun that made Sakura’s heart warm up, though. The pug was clearly excited to explore Sakura’s apartment, which she was sure Kakashi was also noticing, but for some reason he just couldn’t let the dog go.

“This is the first time you’re sleeping away from him, isn’t it?” she asked, leaning her head to the side as a gentle smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

Kakashi hummed as he set the bags on the floor, still holding onto Pakkun. “He’s used to me getting home late but I’ve never had to get him out of the studio before. He’s clearly dealing with it better than I am, though.”

Sakura giggled, especially when Pakkun started wiggling in an attempt to find a way out of Kakashi’s hold. “I’ll send you many pictures of him,” she offered.

One corner of Kakashi’s lips tugged upwards at her just before he addressed the frantic pug. “Fine, fine! Go on, I don’t care either.”

Even though she did her very best to stop herself from laughing at how Pakkun immediately bolted around Sakura’s living room, sniffing every crook and corner as his little tail wiggled excitedly from one side to the other, she failed at the hurt look on Kakashi’s face.

“Come on, he’s just excited,” Sakura comforted him as she tried to smother down her laughter, biting down on her bottom lip. “Any allergies I should know about? Rules? What’s his routine like?”

“No allergies.” Kakashi shook his head as he looked over at her before he pointed at the fuller gym bag he’d brought, proving Sakura right in her assumptions of which one belonged to Pakkun’s stuff. “I brought his favourite toys, his doggie trays,” Sakura felt her heart melt into a puddle at Kakashi saying the word _‘doggie’_ , “his kibble, snacks, stuff like that. He’s used to my chaotic schedule, especially since I usually walk him before I leave the house in the morning and then when I come back, which is almost never on a fixed time. I give him a bath once a week but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Can I buy him sausages?” Sakura asked.

“You want to steal my dog for good, don’t you?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her, smiling at the laughter he earned from Sakura in return. “But yeah, sure. He’ll love it.”

Sakura’s smile faded from her face when Kakashi looked over at Pakkun as he sniffed around, the anxiety she’d been feeling closing in on her chest since she’d gotten home a few hours earlier resurfacing. She’d made up her mind that she needed to talk to Kakashi about it, and this was clearly one of those conversations that it was just better to have as soon as possible.

But still, bringing it up was easier said than done.

“Do you need to go now?” she asked, eyeing the door and then Kakashi again as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Genma can wait.” Kakashi looked back at her with furrowed eyebrows, his charcoal eyes steady on hers as he picked up something was happening. “Everything ok?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Sakura sighed. “It’s ok if you don’t want to, really. It’s just… we need to be on the same page about this.”

Kakashi nodded, clearly confused as to what she meant, and when Sakura indicated her sofa with a hand he didn’t hesitate in taking off his shoes and following her there. Sakura sat on the end of the sofa closest to the window with both legs wrapped on the cushions as she faced Kakashi, while he made himself at home next to her with his torso turned in her direction, his left arm thrown over the back of her sofa and his left leg folded on the sofa and foot tucked beneath his right thigh.

He silently raised an expectant eyebrow at her, clearly telling her to go on.

“Minato-ojisan and Kushina-obasan know about us,” Sakura started, both hands nervously tugging at the other where they rested on her lap.

“Ah.” Kakashi moved his eyes to the window behind Sakura’s back.

“Yeah,” Sakura let out a nervous chuckle. “Do you want to talk about this some other time?”

“No, it’s fine.” Kakashi shook his head, looking back at her. “I know telling them you were going with me wasn’t exactly the smartest move I could have possibly taken, I’m sorry about that.”

“No, it’s ok. You weren’t thinking straight, it’s fine. But… what exactly _did_ you tell them?”

“I told them Genma was injured and at the hospital, and that I needed to go. Then I said you’d be going with me to save time and then walked away, basically. I tried to not say it in a way that they could imply anything but I clearly failed.”

Sakura went as far as opening her mouth to tell him what she overheard when the last part of what he said ringed a bell in her head. “Wait, how do you know they implied anything?”

“Uh… Aren’t we talking about the same thing?”

“What are _you_ talking about?”

“Minato at the hospital. You?”

Sakura closed her eyes at that, letting her head fall down into her hands as she groaned. “I overheard them talking in their kitchen before I met you outside. Did he _say_ anything at the hospital?” She looked up again, looking indignantly at Kakashi. “What the fuck? I thought he was there to tell you what happened to Genma.”

“He did tell me what happened to Genma.” Kakashi nodded, using the hand he had thrown over the back of her couch to roughly brush his face. “And _then_ he somehow thought it was a good time to ask if I was seeing you or if he misread things.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Sakura said, propping her right elbow onto the back of the couch and holding her forehead up with that hand. “I can’t believe this.”

Kakashi hummed before letting out a humourless chuckle, his fingers picking at some loose threads on the knitted pink comforter she had thrown over the back of the couch. “I know he was trying not to make a big deal out of it when he asked, but then I said it wasn’t any of his business and he started being condescending.”

“What did he say?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

Sakura nodded, her eyebrows drawing together in her forehead as she got ready to hear whatever it was.

“He said I should be focusing on women my own age and I walked away before he said whatever it was that was coming next.” Kakashi stopped picking on Sakura’s comforter before he continued speaking, keeping his hand still over the back of her sofa, his fingers almost close enough to touch her elbow. “I get it, though. I was pretty much an older brother to Naruto, it makes sense that it’s weird for him to see me with one of his son’s best friends an… ah.” Kakashi’s hand went to the back of his neck as he stopped himself from saying whatever it was he was gonna say.

“What?” Sakura frowned.

“Nothing.” He fixed her with an impressively nonplussed face, which wasn’t nearly enough to fool her.

“Clearly _something_. Come on, what is it?”

“Ah… yeah,” Kakashi conceded. “Uh, I might have given Naruto some advice on how to get your attention when he started having a crush on you.”

It took Sakura three solid seconds to process what Kakashi had just told her, and as soon as she did, she burst into uncontrollable laughter. Pakkun trotted over to them at the sound, and even his cold nose booping her knee as she leaned back on her seat wasn't enough to make her stop laughing.

“Are you fucking serious?” she managed to say through her laughter, making an effort to sit straight so that she wouldn’t fall off the sofa after a particularly close call.

“Hmm.” Kakashi nodded, looking way too horrified to join her in laughter. At least one corner of his lips was tugging upwards at what Sakura could only hope to be his response to the knowledge that she found this funny and not weird. “It was right before I stopped going there, but I remember he wouldn’t shut up about some Sakura-chan who didn’t give a single fuck about him. It was the most infuriating month I’ve ever spent there.”

Sakura was doing her very best to smother her laughter by the time he finished speaking, but the mental image of a eleven, twelve year old Naruto pestering Kakashi about _her_ was just way too fucking funny for her to handle.

“When did you realise it was me?” she asked, brushing tears off her eyes as Pakkun trotted away to explore her kitchen, clearly tired of trying to understand what was happening.

“After he called you Sakura-chan that night on the bench and I found out you were friends,” Kakashi answered, clearly amused at how she was still chuckling.

“ _Holy_ shit,” Sakura said as she managed to keep a hold on herself, still grinning wildly until she started thinking more critically about it. “But yeah, I get why Minato-ojisan’s freaking out about it, though. Naruto’s gonna flip when he finds out too.”

“Hm,” Kakashi agreed, looking overwhelmed for a second there before he chuckled. “At least Minato doesn’t know I’m your professor, _that’d_ be a shitshow.”

“I don’t get why he thought it was ok to talk about that at the hospital, though.” Sakura shook her head, the crease between her eyebrows returning.

“He wasn’t attacking me or anything.” Kakashi shrugged. “He’s always been like a big brother to me, so I think he was just stepping back into that role even though we’ve only spoken twice in the past eight years. The timing was shit but I don’t think he knew how badly I was gonna take it.”

“Still wasn’t right.”

“It really wasn’t,” Kakashi agreed. “Your turn.”

Sakura sighed, brushing her still damp hair over off of her shoulder. “Well, as I said, I overheard him and Kushina-obasan talking about us in their kitchen before we left yesterday.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her in response, indicating she should go on. Sakura took a few seconds to wonder how much she should say, and ended up figuring out she should just tell him everything.

“Minato-ojisan was being very judgmental, saying it was weird and stuff like that, and Kushina-obasan kept saying he shouldn’t be saying anything, especially because they weren’t sure of the context. Then he said something about how it was clear _something_ was going on because you wanted me at the hospital with you, which he said is unusual, and then Kushina-obasan told him that you wanting me there was a good thing and he shouldn’t treat it as if it wasn’t. Then I walked away to meet you.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything at first and kept fixing Sakura with a look she couldn’t quite figure out. She could feel it was more self-reflective than anything, though, so she started picking on her comforter while she waited for him to speak.

“She’s right,” he said at last, warming Sakura’s heart with those two words even though she wasn’t entirely sure what he was referring to.

Kakashi didn’t say anything else, though. Sakura knew he would probably clarify what he’d meant if she asked, but she also knew it was easier for him to express his feelings with what he left unsaid.

And she was getting really, really good at reading his silences.

Feeling a vast amount of gratitude for that man, Sakura stopped picking on her comforter and intertwined her fingers with Kakashi’s. “It’ll be fine. It sucks that Minato-ojisan is being like this now but I’m sure he’ll change his mind when he sees us being _us_ , as cheesy as that sounds.”

“It does sound cheesy,” Kakashi chuckled, his thumb softly brushing the side of Sakura’s hand as he squeezed her hand lightly. “But I like it.”

When a ringtone started coming from a pocket on Kakashi’s sweatpants, Sakura couldn’t help but smile at the way he contorted himself to use his opposite hand to fish it out, clearly not wanting to let go of hers. “Fuck’s sake,” he said before picking up the call, bringing the phone up to his ear. “Does the hospital know you already used your room’s phone to annoy me three times in the past hour?”

“ _What the fuck is taking you so long!_ ” Sakura heard Genma’s voice coming from Kakashi’s phone and giggled at the deadpanned look he sent her. “ _Are you at Pink’s? Are you guys fucking? I’ll forgive you if you are._ ”

Sakura snorted at that, loving the grin Kakashi was giving her—especially when he made sure to keep his voice as annoyed as possible when answering Genma.

“You think I’d take your stupid call if we were fucking?”

“ _Of course you would, and now you just told me you’re not_ ,” Genma answered. “ _Real talk now, though, I’m pretty sure you can find a way to smuggle me a Rusty Kunai burg—_ ”

Kakashi hung up the phone without letting Genma finish, mumbling something Sakura couldn’t have possibly picked out with how much she was laughing. 

“I’m gonna end up killing him before the week is over,” Kakashi stated, stealing more laughter from Sakura’s chest. “And about that… any chance you’ll ever tell me what he said on that note he left you?”

“Needing more arguments to convince the trial he had it coming?” Sakura asked, one eyebrow rising in her forehead.

“Something like that,” Kakashi chuckled at the same time that Sakura squeezed his hand and stood up.

She didn’t even need to turn on the lights of her bedroom after she walked in, already familiar with everything well enough that she knew exactly where everything was even in the dark. The box she’d always used to keep her special stuff was stored under her bed, and Sakura brought it back to the living room with the lid still on. 

Kakashi’s eyes accompanied her from the moment she stepped back into the room until she sat down on the floor next to his legs, placing the box on the coffee table. As she took the lid off, Kakashi lowered himself to the floor as well, joining her there and peeking into the box as Pakkun trotted over to check out what his humans were doing.

“You developed them,” Kakashi noted with a smile playing on his lips as he picked up the loose picture that rested on top of everything else. Pakkun placed his tiny face on the crook of his owner’s elbow, looking down at the picture for a few seconds before losing interest and trotting over to Sakura’s bedroom to continue his exploration.

It had taken three weeks for Sakura to manage finding some time to get her birthday pictures developed. She had spent the night she got them looking at them with a foolish smile on her face and almost downed an entire bottle of wine while doing so, sometimes bringing her pillow close to her chest and just squealing into it from how much she fucking _adored_ Kakashi.

That first picture he’d taken hadn’t been of her ass, against her suspicions. Instead, he’d managed to take the most breathtakingly beautiful picture Sakura had ever seen of _her_ in her entire life. She knew she had been busy saying her greeting to her tree at that moment, but somehow Kakashi had managed to caption the energy oozing out of her into the picture even with her back to the camera.

Even the way the wind was playing with her hair was perfect, for fuck’s sake.

Most of the other pictures had made her laugh her ass off, with the exception of the one with what Kakashi had called her ‘genuine smile’. Just the memory of that moment made her cheeks burn, and most of the squealing she’d done into the pillow had been due to that one. She kept all of them, even the ones she was glaring at him or blushing furiously. 

She could hear his amused chuckles every time she looked at those pictures, and Sakura loved them for it.

Her eyes were set on Kakashi as he looked at the pictures one by one, the fond smile on his face absolutely _destroying_ her. “Is the last one on the album?” he asked after he was done browsing through the pictures, looking at her as he set most of them on the coffee table.

The only one that stayed in his hands was the one with the smile.

“Yeah.” Sakura nodded as she stood up and walked over to the bookshelf on the corner of the room. 

She crouched down to get the album and then brought it where she was sitting on the floor with Kakashi. She placed the album on her lap and flipped it over to the last page, where the picture Kakashi had taken already was. The turtle shirt made her snort every single time she looked at it, and Kakashi joined in on the quiet laughter as he smiled down at the picture.

“Thanks, by the way,” Sakura said, looking at him and trying not to get distracted over how close his face was to hers right then. “I don’t remember if I thanked you for taking them.”

“No need,” he smiled at her, leaning back until his back hit the sofa behind them. “I’m glad you asked.”

Sakura smiled at him before she turned to the coffee table again, peeking into the box until she found the napkin she was looking for. “Ha, here it is.” Her eyes moved down to it again, reading it once more and laughing because it was simply impossible not to do so.

 _Pink!!! Very_ _vital_ _info, ok? Use it wisely, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do (which is_ _nothing_ _) and before you ask: he’s waiting to get your number!!!_

_+14 0 89 21 54 03_

_Woop woop, Pink, go get him ok! (if you want a suggestion of what to send him, my favourite one starts with N and ends with UDES) ;)_

_You know who it is xD_

She was still laughing as she handed Kakashi the napkin, which he held over her picture in his hand. Genma really hadn’t spared them any mercy, and every single time she thought about the fact that Kiba read that shit she completely lost it.

No wonder her friend had never brought it up with her.

Sakura watched Kakashi’s face as his eyes roved over the words written on the napkin, trying to control her laughter as best as she could until she completely lost it at the look of utter resignation that showed up on his face.

“There’s more on the back,” Sakura said, unable to stop herself from laughing.

“Of fucking course there is.” Kakashi shook his head before turning the napkin in his hand.

_here’s mine just because I have a feeling he may fuck this shit up so if you ever need damage control, hit me up (I also accept memes!)_

_+14 0 67 90 63 21_

“I swear I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” Kakashi said, moving his eyes from the napkin to look at her.

It was clear he was doing his best to not laugh, but regardless of any effort he was making, the corners of his lips were still tugging upwards at the sound of Sakura’s laughter.

“I did tell you to always be careful with what Genma says,” Kakashi said, looking down at the napkin again. “Fucker’s sneaky as fuck.”

“After I realised he meant it _literally_ when he said you were waiting to get my number I was _so_ mad, he’s so sneaky it’s _insane_. In that context I never would’ve thought he meant you were waiting until I graduated.”

Kakashi nodded, chuckling as he flipped the napkin over. “He never lies, that’s what’s dangerous about it. Even after twenty years I still get impressed with the shit he pulls.”

He handed her the napkin, which Sakura placed in the box once again. He was still holding her picture in his hands, and Sakura took her time putting her album on the coffee table and organising her other loose pictures, separating the one she was greeting the tree before placing the others back in the box.

She noticed his eyes kept going back to the one with the smile, and by the sixth time it happened, Sakura started gathering courage as she closed the lid on the box.

“What are you gonna do with that one?” Kakashi asked, nudging his chin in the direction of the picture she’d left on the coffee table.

“I’m gonna buy a frame to put it there.” She looked over at the wooden living room dresser that held most of her picture frames, her hands tightening their hold on the box as she glanced at Kakashi again.

When he looked down at the picture in his hands again, she figured it was now or never.

“You can keep that one if you want,” she blurted out, the seconds she’d spent giving herself a silent pep talk going through the window as soon as her mouth opened.

Kakashi looked at her with widened eyes, and even though the look was so comically out of place on his usually controlled face, Sakura couldn’t find it in her to laugh. She could feel her face burning up as her heart sped up in her chest, and the sight of Kakashi’s reddened ears made it much, _much_ worse.

Oh god, what the fuck was she _thinking_?

“Thank you,” Kakashi said a few seconds later, giving her an embarrassed smile.

“You don’t _have_ to,” Sakura was quick to add. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if that was stupid, you kept looking at it and—”

“I want it,” Kakashi interrupted her, and the softness she saw in his eyes at that soothed her a little bit. “I just never would’ve asked.”

“Well, you could have,” Sakura said, letting out a breathy smile. “It’s yours.”

He had a fond look on his face as he stared at her for the next few seconds and then gave her a slight heart attack when his eyes travelled down to her lips for a second or two.

At that moment she became _very_ aware she was completely alone with him at her apartment, and that knowledge absolutely did not help with the self-control issues she was having when it came to Kakashi.

“I should go before the hospital gets annoyed enough to drop Genma on the curb,” he said, moving his eyes to meet hers again.

Sakura nodded at him before standing up, Kakashi following her right after. Before she could bend down to pick up the box, Kakashi used his free hand to grab hers and pulled her into his arms. Sakura sighed contentedly as she wrapped her arms around his midsection, inhaling the scent of him and closing her eyes as she did so. The sound of Pakkun trotting over at them made her giggle, and she looked down just in time to catch him booping his nose on Kakashi’s covered calf.

“Hey,” Kakashi said as he looked down at his dog, gently disentangling himself from Sakura to crouch down next to Pakkun. “Behave, ok, buddy? I’m sure you’re gonna have a great time with Sakura.”

“I’m gonna take good care of him,” Sakura affirmed as Kakashi started to get up again after placing a peck on Pakkun’s head.

“I know that.” He smiled, stepping closer to her. Kakashi raised one hand to the back of Sakura’s neck, tilting her head up so he could kiss her forehead. “Thank you.”

.

.

.

It’d been a while since the last time Sakura freaked out this bad over something in her life.

Six days after she defended her thesis to the Sciences department board, she now found herself sitting in front of Senju Tsunade’s office doing her very fucking best to keep her shit together as she waited for her interview to start. As if being approached by the blonde after her defence wasn’t enough to make Sakura lose her shit, she somehow had to keep it together even after finding out Tsunade had been watching her from afar since her _second year_.

And now here she was.

Freaking the _fuck_ out.

Sakura had spent the entire week wondering if she needed to bring anything to the meeting. Should she have made a portfolio? If yes, what should she have put in it? Her _grades_? Should she have brought her CV…? Was this even a job interview? What the fuck was even _happening_?

Was it possible that she’d be offered the mentorship she’d dreamed about for so, _so_ long?

Kakashi had done his best soothing her nerves, saying that if Tsunade had been keeping her eye on her for basically three years now, she must have been well aware of and confident in Sakura’s abilities and that she could just go there and be her ‘amazing self’—his words, not hers—and she’d be fine.

Of course, he’d also said Tsunade could be scary as fuck when she wanted to but that ‘overall she was pretty cool’, which threw Sakura into a loop all over again.

The thought of how supportive he’d been for the past weeks made Sakura instinctively smile, though. Honestly, she didn’t know what she’d done in life to deserve Kakashi. With basically only a week left until graduation, she started getting anxious. In _eight days_ , she and Kakashi would finally be able to officially give whatever it was that was going on between them a try. She was well aware they were practically already dating, what with all the intimacy that’d been growing between them since they struck their deal almost two months before, but _still_.

She was sure it’d be different when they actually had the go-ahead sign to move forward, and her heart hammered inside her chest every single time she let herself think even a little bit about it.

Sakura was just so fucking _ready_.

Before she could delve too much into it, though, the office door opened from the inside and Sakura found herself looking straight at Tsunade. Immediately standing up, Sakura pushed off her thoughts to the back of her mind and smiled confidently at the woman.

“Good afternoon, Tsunade-sama.”

“You’re early,” Tsunade noted, one blonde eyebrow quirking in her forehead as she studied Sakura before stepping to the side. “Come on in.”

Sakura complied, stepping through the doorstep while doing her very best to keep herself in check at all times. Even though she’d always dreamed that someday this moment might come, she’d never really stopped to contemplate what Tsunade’s office might look like. Now that she was standing inside it, though, she saw how much it fit the woman. For once, it was huge. The left wall was made up of shelves, completely filled with books and actual _scrolls_ , much to Sakura’s amazement, and there was a huge window behind her mahogany desk. 

Tsunade made her way to her leather chair, the steady clink of her heels hitting the floor with each step she gave literally resonating in Sakura’s ears. After sitting, Tsunade rested both elbows on top of her desk and interlaced her fingers together in front of her chin right after motioning to the chairs across from her desk for Sakura to sit. 

“Shizune told me about your medical ambitions,” Tsunade started as soon as Sakura was settled in one of the chairs across from her, cutting straight to the chase. “She’s been speaking highly of you for quite some time now.”

“She’s been a great help since I started off here,” Sakura smiled at the same time that her mind categorised the information she’d just received and immediately connected the pieces. “She never mentioned she was your former apprentice, though.”

Judging by the smirk that pulled the corners of Tsunade’s lips, she’d guessed right.

“I’ve been wanting to take a new apprentice for a while,” Tsunade said, leaning back in her chair. “For a few years now, to be honest. I tasked Shizune with choosing someone worthy, and you’re the only one she’s ever told me about since.”

“Holy shit,” Sakura said before she could stop herself, but before she could even react to it and apologise Tsunade let out a bark of a laugh.

“I like you, girl,” she said, leaning forward onto the table again. “Look, your grades are impressive, all of your professors had great things to say about you, and I’ve seen what I needed to see. I’m not one to really waste time making you prove yourself to me before I take you in, so if you’re interested, we can move forward from here.”

“ _Yes_ , I’m interested,” Sakura eagerly agreed. “When do we start? How will it work?”

The corner of Tsunade’s lip tugged upwards at that, although the woman quickly stopped herself from full out smiling before she did so. “You’re starting med school in September, right? We can kick it off in August and I’ll send you an email with the details.”

Sakura nodded at that, unable to stop herself from smiling at the moment she was _finally_ living through.

“I hope you work well under pressure, girl,” Tsunade smirked. “If you think you know what being stressed is, you have no idea.”

“I can take it,” Sakura affirmed with confidence.

“That’s the least I expect from you.” Tsunade studied her with narrowed hazel eyes for a few more seconds until she spoke again. “Ok, well, you can expect a word from me in a few weeks. Congratulations on your thesis, Sakura. Your work was really impressive, you deserve all the success you’ll surely earn in your life.”

Thanking the blonde profusely, Sakura took the cue to leave and stood up from her seat. Tsunade didn’t rise from hers as the pinkette walked away, which was good since Sakura was still trying to smother down her grin as she closed the office door behind her.

She got it.

She _fucking_ got it.

Sakura managed to keep a tamper on her urge to celebrate until she walked out of the building, but as soon as she stepped into the warm Spring afternoon she immediately started laughing and doing the dorkiest victory dance to ever exist. Her hand fished her phone out of her messenger bag while she danced, and she didn’t even think before finding the number she was looking for.

The line rang exactly two times before Kakashi picked up.

“ _How’d it go?_ ” he asked in manner of greeting.

“I got it,” Sakura said, unable to stop herself from beaming at the sunny sky above her.

“ _Of course you did_ ,” Kakashi chuckled on his end and Sakura could _hear_ his smile, which only widened hers. “ _Never doubted it_.”

“I know you didn’t,” Sakura grinned into her phone, wanting more than anything to just be able to see him. 

“ _Did you leave already?_ ”

“Just walked out of Administrative.” Sakura looked around, for a second wondering if she’d spot Kakashi somewhere. “Why? Are you on campus?”

“ _My office, actually. If you have nothing to do..._ ”

Sakura, in fact, had absolutely nothing to do for the next two hours until she’d need to go to her OB-GYN get her shot. The only final she still had left was Kakashi’s, which she’d be doing the next day, and she already knew everything she needed to know about the entire semester’s content so it’s not like she had to study anything else.

Sakura hummed into the phone. “You know, I do have an exam tomorrow… they say the professor’s pretty tough.”

“ _I heard you got a 96 on his midterm, I’m sure you’ll do fine. I also heard he has a thing for you, so..._ "

A smile broke through Sakura’s lips at that, and when she realised what she was doing she was already turning around to face the Administrative building again. 

“I hope he knows I’ll kick his ass if he gives me special treatment,” Sakura noted as she pulled the door open again.

“ _Maa, I’m sure he knows how scary you can be, Sakura._ ”

“He better,” she laughed as she boarded the elevator again, glad it hadn’t been called to another floor since she’d gotten down. “Ok, I’m going up there. See ya.”

The connection was cut before Sakura could hear Kakashi’s answer, so she slid her phone into her bag and checked her reflection as the elevator slowly brought her to the third floor. Did she then undo two buttons from her black button-down shirt that definitely hadn’t been unbuttoned during her meeting with Tsunade? Maybe.

With only eight days left until graduation, who the fuck could blame her?

Sakura walked out of the elevator on the third floor and stepped onto the corridor with that same smile still playing on her lips. She could see the door to his office was closed, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile even more at the memory of those times he’d left her waiting on that hallway for their thesis supervision sessions.

That damned man.

Three consecutive knocks to the wooden door announced her arrival to Kakashi, and the sound of his faint ‘yo’ coming from inside made Sakura chuckle as she turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

“Shouldn’t you be reading the final assignments from your students?” Sakura asked as soon as she walked in and closed the door behind her, one eyebrow rising in her forehead at the sight of Kakashi with both ankles crossed on top of his desk and leaning back on his leather chair as he closed the book he was reading before she walked in. A book with a… censored, blue cover?

 _Holy shit._

“And how would you know I haven’t graded all of them already?” Kakashi asked, raising both hands to rest behind his head as his eyes shamelessly took in the sight of her.

The fact that he took a double take on the extra buttons Sakura had opened definitely didn’t go amiss by her, but she was so fucking losing it over the fact that Kakashi was reading _Icha Icha_ that she couldn’t find it in her to address it.

“I do know about your procrastination habits, you know? Also, Tactics was a _lot_ better than Paradise.” Sakura pointed at the book she approached his desk and threw her messenger bag on top of the chair she used to sit on during their meetings. “Violence is my favourite, though. Jiraya really outdid himself with that one.”

In the five months Sakura had known Kakashi, the number of times she’d seen him completely speechless were rare. This was one of them, though, and the sight of him just staring at her with a slack jaw was enough to steal a bundle of laughter out of her.

“Something wrong?” Sakura asked, a shit-eating smirk started taking shape on her lips.

“Did you actually read them or is this because of my shelf? Please tell me you read them.”

“Your _shelf_?” She raised both eyebrows at him as she placed her hands on the back of the chair. “You have an Icha Icha shelf?”

“Of course, I have an Icha Icha shelf,” Kakashi answered as he lowered his arms and removed his feet from his desk, straightening up on his seat. “I thought you’d seen it after you slept over.”

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh at that, throwing her head back as she clutched her stomach with her hands. She could hear Kakashi’s quiet laughter and the sound of his getting up from his seat, and she was still laughing her ass off as he circled his desk to reach her.

“Congratulations,” he chuckled as he wrapped a hand around her waist and nudged her to turn in his direction, which of course she did.

At this point, the act of standing on her tiptoes and raising her arms to wrap around Kakashi’s neck was automatic to her, and Sakura was only barely able to contain her laughter as she pressed her face on the crook of his neck. The feeling of his strong arms circling her waist, though, was one that always took the breath out of her. 

Sakura giggled as Kakashi nuzzled her hair and inhaled, her face growing hot at the smile she could feel taking shape on his lips. 

“Thank you.” She leaned back just enough so she could look up at him, her fingers threading the hair at the nape of his neck. “And _yes_ , I read them.”

Kakashi hummed, looking down at her as best as he could since neither of them had stepped away from the other. “Ok, we’ll definitely talk more about that later. How do you wanna celebrate the apprenticeship?”

“Show me your Icha Icha shelf.”

Kakashi chuckled, yet the sight of his charcoal eyes growing a shade darker gave her goosebumps which he definitely didn’t miss.

“Eight more days and I will.”

Sakura opened her mouth to answer that, well aware that she probably shouldn’t considering the way things would possibly escalate from there on, but was interrupted by Kakashi. “The only issue is that Genma’ll be there.”

A completely unplanned and _absurd_ snort escaped Sakura then, but the sight of the endearing smile Kakashi had on his face as a result was more than enough for her to be glad it happened.

“Ah, _Genma_.” Sakura shook her head disapprovingly as she disentangled herself from Kakashi and grabbed his hand before bringing him along with her to the leather sofa that stood beneath his office’s window. “Guess he’ll be taking Pakkun for a few walks.”

“Hm, guess he’ll have to live with that.”

Sakura had a stupid grin playing on her lips as she sat down on the left end of the sofa and took her shoes off. Kakashi was already well aware of what would happen after he sat down right next to her, and he indeed didn’t look surprised when Sakura threw her legs over his lap.

The way he acted in response didn’t come as a surprise for her either. He shifted himself on the sofa so his torso was turned in her direction even while both of his feet were planted on the floor. His right arm went over the back of the sofa, as was natural, and his left one found its place along her thighs, his elbow resting close to her knee. It was the way his fingers kept softly brushing the side of her thigh that did her in, though, and despite her best efforts, Sakura found herself blushing at his gentle touch regardless of the fact that there was a whole layer of skinny jeans separating her thigh from his hand.

That sly lift of his eyebrow proved how aware of her blush Kakashi was, and Sakura found herself smiling despite how much it should infuriate her.

“I thought Genma was staying with Asuma and Kurenai because of his recovery,” she went back to the subject, leaning sideways so that she could lean her side against the sofa’s back.

“He is.” Kakashi nodded, his charcoal eyes moving to the forest outside. “He’s been there for the past two weeks, but he’s moving to my place on Sunday. Apparently he just really likes my sofa.”

“And Pakkun.”

“ _And_ Pakkun.” Kakashi chuckled, smiling fondly at her. “He’s also been looking for flats to rent, so I guess it does make sense to stay in the city centre while he’s searching. It’s easier to visit them.”

“He’s really retiring, then?” Sakura tilted her head to the side.

Kakashi hummed at that, nodding along. “If you ask him about it, you’ll get a whole speech on how he’s just way too old to be shot and other shit like that.”

“For some reason, that’s a very Genma thing to say,” Sakura pointed out, the corners of her lips tugging upwards as Kakashi hummed in agreement.

Pretty sure the feel of his hand brushing her thigh also had something to do with the fact that she just couldn’t stop smiling.

“How’re you holding up with graduation?” Kakashi asked.

“Good! I mean, I have a _very_ valid reason to be looking forward to it so much,” Sakura smirked at him before moving her eyes down to where her hands were sitting on her lap. “But yeah, I guess graduating is pretty bittersweet, really. Tomorrow my friends and I are gonna have our last official lunch at Ichiraku’s. Pretty sure I’m gonna cry and that’s gonna be ridiculous.”

“Hmm… That sounded more bitter than sweet.”

“No, it _didn’t_.” Sakura rolled her eyes jokingly at him before looking out at the trees outside without actually focusing on them. “I’m ready to move on to the next step, you know? I just got this _amazing_ mentorship with _Senju fucking Tsunade_ and I wanna get started on my life. But yeah… I guess it’s just one of those moments that you _know_ you’re in the good old days while they’re still happening, and that they’re about to end.”

Kakashi was silent for a few seconds there and only spoke after Sakura looked over at him curiously. “You’re not high, are you?”

Sakura snorted at that, letting her eyes move to the trees outside. There wasn’t much to think about anymore, really. She’d already had a few crying sessions with Ino on that past week, but now that finals would end the next day and graduation was only eight days away, Sakura was just… ready.

The soothing rhythm Kakashi had set on her thigh was keeping Sakura grounded in the best possible way, regardless of the fact that her eyes were now fixed on one specific point on a particular tree outside, her mind blissfully blank as a few minutes went by in comfortable silence.

“I need to tell you something.”

Kakashi’s voice brought Sakura out of her daze, and her eyes moved back to face him. He didn’t look in the least troubled, so Sakura guessed whatever it was wouldn’t be anything worrisome.

“What’s up?” She leaned her head to the side, her eyes steady on his charcoal ones.

“I got a job offer,” Kakashi stated, the hand he had on her thigh momentarily stopping its movements. “At the Konoha Intelligence Department, for the position of Associate Director for Military Support. I got offered the same position eight years ago after I left the army but I wasn’t ready then. But yeah… I start in August.”

It took Sakura about two seconds to process what he’d said, and as soon as she did, she felt her own lips opening in a huge beam as she threw herself at him. “Kakashi! Holy shit, that’s _amazing_!” she cried out as she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

The arm he’d been resting along her leg immediately wrapped around her waist as the one he’d kept on the back of the couch came up to her head, his fingers instinctively finding their way into her hair. 

“Congratuliationscongratulationcongratulations,” she kept saying over his laughter, loving how his arms wrapped tight around her, keeping her locked there against him.

Kakashi was letting out that delicious laughter he gave every time she caught him off guard as he fell back on the cushions, bringing Sakura along with him. Her legs instinctively found the right way to adjust themselves to the fall, but she just barely managed to disentangle her arms from around his neck before his back hit the cushions. 

_That_ meant she had zero time to actually support herself up at a proper distance from him before it was too late.

By the time the damage was done, her left hand was placed right next to his ear in an awkward angle since she wasn’t exactly making an effort to create any distance between her and Kakashi, and her other one rested high up on his hard chest.

As soon as she saw how close his face was to hers, their noses brushing ever so slightly, any trace of the smiles they had on their lips vanished. From then on all Sakura could hear was the sound of her own sped-up heartbeat thumping in her ears and she just laid there, not moving a single inch of her body in fear that it’d break whatever bubble they’d just stepped onto. 

As if the facts that their breaths were mingling together or that his left hand was now sprawled surely on her lower back weren’t distracting enough, Kakashi _had_ to use his right hand to tuck some of her hair behind her ear.

The feel of his knuckles brushing against the sensitive spot behind her ear earned him goosebumps from all along Sakura’s body, a fact that definitely didn’t go amiss by either of them.

“Can we forget the eight days for just a bit?” Sakura’s voice was almost a whisper, her eyes locked on his hooded charcoal ones.

Instead of answering, Kakashi’s right hand weaved its way into Sakura’s hair before settling on the base of her skull and gently bringing her down to meet him.

Sakura’s eyes slid closed as her lips gently brushed Kakashi’s, both of them kinda losing track of what they were doing and smiling foolishly into the kiss at first. It was all pretty awkward considering Kakashi still had his legs thrown out of the sofa, but Sakura was just so fucking happy she didn’t care in the slightest.

And then Kakashi took matters into his own hands. 

In one smooth move, Kakashi’s right hand moved from Sakura’s hair to her thigh while his left one remained on its rightful spot on the small of her back and he sat up. The hand she had been resting next to his head on the couch instinctively attached itself behind his neck while her left one latched onto the cotton fabric of his button-down shirt, and Sakura could feel the proud smirk that appeared on his lips at the pathetic, surprised yelp she let out at the movement.

Her yelp quickly turned to laughter, though, which Kakashi effortlessly joined in.

Sakura was well aware he was planning on laying her down on the cushions but she just couldn’t wait anymore. Placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage and balancing herself on his right thigh, which he’d moved up to the cushions, Sakura wrapped her legs around his hips and joined their lips together once again, still grinning like a fool while at it.

Kakashi took her bottom lip between his as his strong arms tightened their hold around her, earning an appreciative sigh from her in return. 

Sakura’s fingers found their way into his hair while her left one ventured down the collar of his shirt, exploring the hot bare skin of his back as much as she could. As soon as Kakashi’s right hand moved up to her hair, his fingers confidently settling among the roots of her strands, though, Sakura knew she was done for.

Still sitting down, her thighs tightened their hold around Kakashi’s hips as soon as she felt the stroke of his tongue against her own. 

Any trace of their foolish, insanely happy smiles vanished as they got lost in the moment, the mind-numbingly slow pace of their kiss making Sakura’s socks-covered toes curl behind Kakashi’s back.

Kakashi’s other hand was settled confidently on the small of Sakura’s back, pressing her body flush against his while his other one focused on rhythmically stroking the back of her head with the tip of his fingers.

She couldn’t help but sigh contently into him again, every unhurried, leisured stroke of his tongue against hers joined with the soothing sensation of his fingers on her hair doing wonders for the wave of arousal steadily growing inside of Sakura.

“Eight days.” Kakashi pulled away ever so slightly, still close enough that she could feel his lips moving against hers as he spoke.

“Eight days,” Sakura repeated, her eyes opening to meet his hooded charcoal ones just before he leaned forward again, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he rejoined their connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO!!!
> 
> THAT ENDING WASN'T PLANNED AJSKDHSJKDAKJ I got drunk and it just happened, and I'm HAPPY IT DID! god I'm dying to get to the good stuff I'm gonna fucking DIE
> 
> ok sorry about that
> 
> ehehe
> 
> AH! I'd like to thank the Anon on Tumblr who reminded me I still hadn't shared Genma's note with you guys!!!!! I shamefully FORGOT about it, I won't deny it. I'd written it on ch21 but then took it out bc Sakura would show Kakashi later, but completely forgot about it lol THERE IT IS! (if you haven't hit me up on Tumblr yet and would like to see me answering questions completely drunk, you're missing out! I'm pandorasbox014 there :D)
> 
> I hope you guys are doing ok! once again I'd like to thank everyone who's reading and enjoying this story, this really means the world to me, and a special thanks to my amazing reviewers <3
> 
> love you all, hope you liked it ;)
> 
> \- A


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